(for context the outline and main points of this came to me in a dream so i had to write it into a story)
(enjoy?)
>was a hot day in the wasteland
>remarkably hot even for this part of equestria
>despite the ever-present cloud layer, it was still hot
>that kind of dry heat that made you want to go without barding, even if no armor was more of a health risk than anything the heat could do to you
>full saddle bags didnt help the sweltering heat either
>or the half'a armory of clapped out scrap guns i was carrying from our last fight
>the jingle of caps i heard from one of my partner's bags was reassuring though
>and the cash we would make off the guns and chems we snagged would make suffering through this heat more than worth it 
>i could feel the sweat pooling under my combat barding 
>it made every hoof fall heavier than it had to be
>"feeling the heat, eh Slick?" drawled the colt trotting beside me
"eeeeeyup. but its a dry heat, pardner...."
>i said with a slow drawl and a smirk, looking out the corner of my eye down to my companion
>he laughed at my look and trotted a lazy circle around me before returning to his original position at my side
>it wasnt far to the caravan hub from here, straight shot down the trail
"just past the end of the canyon"
>i accidently said out loud
>"eeeeeeeeeyup.' he said without turning to me but i knew he had a wicked smile on his muzzle just by the tone
>the tall shadow of the canyon's mouth came into sharper view as we approached, all wavy and warped by the heat
>a yellow blip came into range on my E.F.S before i knew it
>not a second later an equine form exited that shadow melting into the warped silver waves of the mirage, and they were walking down the trail to us
>"you see em too?"
"eyup."
>i felt the muscles in my back tense up
"maybe theyre just a scavver?"
>"scavvers dont usually soak their cloaks in blood, right?" ,he said with a smug look while lowering his binoculars down in their holster
"yea thats what i was afraid of..."
>i say with a sigh
"but remember young colt, always start with a big smile!"
>i add with the biggest, most faux, used carriage salesstalion smile i could muster
>he rolled his eyes in response, looking again through the binos around his neck
>"they got a spear, looks like." colt says as he holsters the binocular rig and trots back to my pace 
>i pop half a mintal and we continue at the same trot down the trail to meet our new friend
>getting closer now i can tell by a glance at their frame theyre a mare
>gaunt and thin like your typical raiderpony
>the cloak is a little wide at the top though
>they wearing a hat under that cloak?
>closer to meeting in the middle of the trail now
>pop another half a mintal, slick back my thinning mane with a hoof, straighten my hat back on my head and clear my throat 
"WEEEELLLLLLL HOWDY-DO THERE mis..."
>as i started my opener the mare threw her hood back to reveal two heads with necks both starting at the shoulders
>i heard colt gasp at the revelation 
>the raider's coat and mane were maybe blue below all the dried blood and other foulness whos origin i did not want to know in this lifetime
"ahem ....uhh Missus?"
>"BOOMWORK!" yells the head on the right with unblinking wild eyes and a manic chipped grin to match,
>"and shortwork..." the other says almost too quiet to hear with her mane covering her eyes and most of her muzzle, i can see her trying to keep a straight face, like shes trying her hardest not to laugh
"ah yes well, worksisters? may i as-"
>"WHAt the hell are yall doing with all them guns there huh where yall get em at huh gimme a straight answer right damn now alright" the right sister says in a breathless run on sentence while squinting one eye at me and jabbing her head out as if it were a pointed hoof in an interrogation
>"....and what bout them fat saddle bags too eheh." the left says, looking away from us, stifling a giggle now with noticeably less composure
>how could she even see us though that mane?
"well to answer your inquiry we are simple camp-to-camp scavvers looking for salvage, my fair fill- er.. fillies.'
>i say puffing out my chest with the used carriage salesstallion smile dialed to 11
"we just left the near by mining camp there,"
>with the flick of a forehoof i gesture far off to the raider camp that we just wiped out the day before, more than likely the sisters' destination
"and they were mighty gracious hosts too! allowed us to trade our ample stores of ammunition for their quality salvage, some of the best ive ever laid eyes on i tell ya what!"
>i boast while giving the shabby firearms in the bundle on my back a rattle
>tip the hat up
>and flash The Smile to top it off
>the right sister still holds that same inquisitive squint at me, slowly bringing her head back next to her sister's
>"oooookay then mister scavverpony....." she patently says turning to the other mare
>nudging the left one they both make eye contact with me and turn their heads to their back in unison 
>overly loud whispers and giggles are issued back and fourth from behind the left ones overgrown mane
>this goes on for a few seconds 
>i perk my ears up to hear words like "later" and "cute" and "slice" mixed with silent laughing
>fininshed with their deliberation they turn back to colt and i
>...we decided to"
>"KEEP TROTTING!!!!!!"
>they say together and without skipping a beat to canter right between us through the middle of the trail making a beeline for the raider camp
>i take my pocket watch from one of my barding's pockets 
>just past noon
>colt lets his overloaded saddlebags drop to the dirt 
>"shock and awe?" he asks with a full body stretch like a cat
>i nod to him as i make my own preparations
>free of my burden as well i give my neck a crack and think of how nice that visit to the caravan bathhouse is going to be later tonight
>"come on studley we dont have all day for you to soak up the heat with your eyes closed." colt snaps, positioning himself broadside to the quickly departing mare
>with a groan i take the missile launcher from its holder in my battlesaddle
>and i lean down to ask with a smirk as wicked as i imagined his was earlier
"moments like this pardner, make me extra glad i saved ya, you ready?" 
>"just get it over with, horseapple." he mutters as he stuffs cotton in his ears
>with the weapon shouldered i sit down on my haunches lying the massive tube of a weapon across colt's back 
>hunkering down into a comfortable firing position i bring my S.A.T.S up
>it flickers a few times in my eyes before starting up proper
>looking down range through the scope shes maybe a hundred yards out
>targeting her in S.A.T.S it gives me the probability of a torso shot at 50%
>then it shows 100%
>and then it flickers back to 50
>the hit chance keeps going back and forth 
>i try to time it when it flickers to 100
>3....
>2....
>1........
>FOOM! 
>WOOSH!
>the missile wizzes through the air towards its target
>and goes right above the mares heads
>BOOM! 
>into the hill in front of them
>i see them both shoot their heads right in our direction
>fuck...
>"told you we should have had that steel ranger techie look at your pipbuck when we had the chance last week." he says taking the small tufts of cotton from his ears giving them each a reflexive flick
"yea yea i know i know"
>i say putting the launcher on top of the gun bundle 
>"you thought about how much we're gonna get for all those guns?"
"dont worry, should get plenty for the ones that arent falling apart, the rest we sell as parts like i said last night."
>i say with a dismissive wave of my hoof as i go digging through my saddlebags
>there you are
>first aid kit
>popping open the seal i am met with the fruity clinical scents ive come to love
>"i dont know, those things would be better used as clubs i think. you could even try to trade them as that. rare raider skull bashers!" he says as he shakes his hooves in mock fright
>i find my prize amongst the potions and gauze
>dash my beloved, you go so wonderfully with your best friend buck
"hush up about money colt, you know you got more than enough in that bag of yours to treat that bar filly in town real nice for a night or two"
>at that i see the burgundy coat on his muzzle go a whole new shade of red
"heh acting like i dont have eyeballs, foalish little colt you are."
>i stand up and stretch 
>groan as i straighten up to my full height  
>chew on two tabs of buck
>take my hit of dash
"feelin slick as slime half the time ready to wine and dine honey LETS GET IT GOING COME ON!!!!"
>"what the hay does that even mean?"
>im off without an answer because i dont know either
>the wind in my mane im off, i have become one with the air in my lungs
>head down and all hooves beating the ground like its my last day alive
>moving fast like the missile from my launcher
>except ill be meeting my target 
>bringing my head up to see through the dust and im there
>BANG!
>my body is a rocket fueled by dash and i hit my bull's-eye 
>the sisters are still tumbling when i bring my head up to see what became of them
>rising like a phoenix from the dust of my crash landing i spring to my hooves
>on them again i see they lost their spear and cloak in the collision 
>i expected laughter on the left ones face but only fear was home
>the right one was the one smiling
>her side lunged for me
>a hoof coming for my face
>with its lift off being driven by one hind leg it didnt have much power behind it
>shoulda had your sister on the same boat when you left dock for murdertown, little filly 
>i take the shot to the eye but i come down on them with a double hammer forehoof blow from on high
>like the moon princess shooting down for revenge my hooves come down in one strike on righties muzzle
>she was smiling when her wild eyes met mine in my swing
>i hear bone and enamel shatter beneath my blow
>"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" leftie screams in the most inequine wail imaginable 
>ive heard some good ones in my day but that takes the cake
>righty and the appendages she has control over are limp 
>ah i know how to wake her up real fast
>the other one is screaming about how im a murderer and a killer and blah blah blah blah
>she keeps trying to get up with half her whole body as dead weight 
>will raiders never learn
>i straddle them to pull their writhing wailing form into my forelegs like a hug from behind 
>then i stand up on my hind legs
>moving my grip up higher to the base of their necks i drop their rump onto the ground with both our weights combined
>with a crack and a start i feel the whole mass of mutant mare in my legs come to life
"SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US FOR THIS PART HONEY BEAR!!!!"
>now with their whole form awake they both begin to thrash in my iron grip
>they pull and bash weakly at my forelegs wrapped around their breast 
"OH THATS NO WAY FOR LITTLE RAIDER FILLIES TO PLAY WITH LITTLE COLTS NOW IS IT!?!?!?!?"
>still screaming and struggling they protest 
>rightie spitting blood and teeth at me and leftie telling me how evil i am 
>time to end it
>i shimmy the grasp of my forelegs up to righties chin
"THIS HERE LITTLE FILLY IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT DOING THOSE THINGS TO MY COLT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
>with my hind legs wrapped and locked around their waist i ratchet my grip around righties neck
>"YOU MONSTER WHY WHY WHY PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS PLEASE LET US GO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!" screamed the left one but it was too late
>righty sputtered and spat for air for her life but thats not how she would go out 
>tightening all my limbs to their fullest now i arched my back in the opposite direction of her backbone
>pulling with all my dash and buck fueled rage i pulled untill i heard it
>the pop
>and with that the side righty controlled went limp one last time
>their body went half slack but leftie was still making all that noise 
>"HOW COULD YOU HAVE KILLED HER YOU ANIMAL YOU ARENT EVEN A PONY YOURE A MONSTER HOW COULD YOU TAKEHERFROMME!!!!!!!!"
>she was beating at my legs with her free forehoof and still trying to get her footing to escape
"YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING AWAY FROM HER MUCH LONGER LITTLE RAIDER FILLY!!!!!!!"
>and with that i loosened one foreleg from her sisters ragdoll neck to retrieve my combat knife
>"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW NONONONONONONO I DONT WANT TO DIE PLEASE!!!!!!!"
"ALL THE PONIES YOU KNEW ARE DEAD AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
>knife now firmly in my mouth i began to saw
>i lifted her muzzle up and started my way through righties neck just at the base of her head 
>as i got to the spine bit i had to saw with a little more effort 
>and with another pop the head was off and i heard her sister go quiet 
>in an instant the severed head rolled out of my bloody grip along with righties neck 
>i pushed their dead weight away from me and i rolled on my back to look at the cloud layer high above
>"wow slick did you really have to do em like that?"
>i guess colt walked over to see the aftermath 
>maybe to see if i needed healing 
"they had it coming to em. you know!"
>i jabbed a forehoof up at him
"you. know."
>and then i realized the blood 
>it was black and thick 
>like it wasnt blood
>i had a good amount on my forehooves so i rolled over and i pawed some at the dirt below me
>it was like a smear of paint when i moved the tip of my hoof along the ground and drew a line
>weird
>"woah look at what you did to her face."
>looking over i saw what he meant
>lefties face was pure horror, eyes wide and mouth agape 
>frozen as a mask of shock half hidden by her unkempt mane
>and i looked at righties face a few feet away
>her mouth was a bloody mess and her left eye was cocked to the right looking at the other one that stared off into nothing
"they got what they deserved, never forget that colt"
"raiders ain't ponies and they always get what they deserve."