Original Poster: Frostybox (http://pastebin.com/u/frostybox)
Reason this is posted here is because it's not binned in Frosty's bin.

>"Oops."
>You can hear snickers and a whistle coming from nearby.
>"Oh that poor colt, somepony should do something" you hear Time Turner mumble.
>Your ears perk when you hear that small group of mares getting more rowdy.
>You turn and see Cherry Berry and her little group of mares standing in front of Anonymous, the newest resident to Ponyville.
>"I'm just so clumsy," Cherry says aloud, "Be a good colt and pick that up for me would you?"
>Anon looks so nervous with so many mares around him.
>He looks down to the necktie Cherry dropped for a moment before kneeling down to grab it.
>Cherry quickly turns around and-
>How rude!
>Accosting a poor stallion like that!
>Her little gaggle begins laughing hysterically.
>Cherry looks so pleased with herself while Anonymous laughs nervously.
>The poor dear is probably hoping they'll just leave.
>"Yeah you liked that huh? I bet you did you little slut, you're just a slut aren't you? Dressed the way you are?"
>More laughter from her group.
>Anonymous looks completely overwhelmed, "Uhm... Uh, I... Yes?"
>Time Turner gasps and prods you from the side, “Well?! Are you just going to stand there? Go do something!"
"M-me? Oh goodness, I don't know... what can I do?"
>"Something, anything! Look at him!"
>You turn back and see the group has begun closing in on him.
>He's trying his best to be brave, but you can see the fear in his eyes.
>Swallowing hard, you step towards the group.
>"H-hey! Y-you girls leave that poor st-stallion alone!"
>The mares all turn to face you, then each other, then bust out into even more laughter.
>"Best back off filly, this here colt's coming with us, then he'll be coming on us, won't you pretty boy?"
>Anonymous looks nervously between you and the mares.
>You have to help him, even though there's a lot of mares...
>It's a good thing you brought your saddlebags today, hopefully your ace on the pole will be enough.
"I t-told you girls to b-back off! If you would be so kind to, that is..."
>You shakily trot forward to stand between Anon and the mares, "Well well, looks like we got ourselves a dead mare," Cherry growls.
>You stand your ground, and pray that this'll work.
>"You've got some fat lips little pegasus, maybe after we're done with him you can have him all to yourself... don't know if they'll allow that kind of thing at the hospital though."
>Cherry approaches you, with her mares in tow.
>You swallow hard and reach into your saddlebags.
>Moving faster than you ever have before you slip on your emergency spandex mask and shorts, "Whoa! What the fuck!?" you hear one of her mares shouts.
>Nopony wants to fight a clothed mare.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1UnsuUFCGY 0:24 to skip the intro
>Fighting the embarrassment flooding your cheeks, you take a deep breath.
"YOU WANNA GO? LET'S GO THEN!" you shout while flashing the tight shorts at them.
>Cherry and her group look completely terrified, "Whoa, what the fuck is wrong with this mare!? Fuck that!" they shout as they all scramble away.
>You can feel a gentle touch through your mask.
>Looking up you see Anonymous smiling down at you.
"Oh, y-you're welcome" you mumble as he continues petting your head.
>Better get out of this as soon as you can, it's so embarrassing to be so dressed out in public.

>Be Anon.
>You feel a light nudge to the inside of your thigh.
>A little startling, so you turn around to find several little ponies standing behind you.
>Iron Will was so right, Ponyville is full of just the cutest sentient animals around.
>The pink and yellow pony is motioning her head to the cherry patterned necktie that's on the floor.
>She neighs and whinnies at you before motioning to it again.
>You haven't quite learned Equestrian yet, thankfully Minotaur was the same as English when you got here.
>She's probably asking you to pick up her necktie though, little hooves must be shit at grabbing things, and who would use their mouth for that either.
>Happy to help such cute little townfolk, you kneel down to pick up her necktie.
>When you look up to hand it to her though you accidentally headbutt her.
>Like literally, your head to her butt.
>She must've turned around to address one of her little friends.
>The ponies burst out into neighs and whickers, which you're pretty sure is laughter.
>It is pretty funny, how often do you literally headbutt someone?
>You bust out into a little laughter yourself.
>The pink and yellow pony neighs at you questioningly.
>Or hungrily? You're really not sure what she's implying.
>You hand back her scarf and try to listen intently.
>"-*** Dressed ** are?"
>You tighten your throat and think really hard about the response you want to make.
>You neigh back in a way you hope says, "It's just a suit, nothing fancy, but yes."
>Should really learn the language if you plan to live here.
>You hear a loud whinny from somewhere off to the side.
>A yellow pegasus comes over, and all the group turns to look at her.
>They start laughing, so you'd guess that they know each other.
>The one with cherries on her flank responds while nodding at you and back to her group.
>Oh boy, maybe they're trying to get you all to hang out?
>While you'd like to, you bought some ice cream a little bit ago and it's going to melt if you stay out too much longer.
>The little pegasus trembles over and stands directly in front of you and makes horse noises back at the group.
>Maybe she saw you buy the ice cream? What a nice little pony, explaining things for you.
>Why she's trembling you're not sure, it doesn't feel that cold out.
>The neighing seems to be getting louder, and the group walks closer to you and the pegasus.
>In what looked like a yellow blur the little pegasus throws on a fucking luchador mask and leggings!
>Holy shit!
>She makes loud horse noises, and the group looks as bewildered as you are.
>Is this some kind of game?
>The group of ponies practically trip over themselves to run away.
>What in the actual fuck is going on?
>Oh hey, she's got the mask on backwards.
>You can see the tag sticking out from the top of her head.
>You kneel down and fiddle with it, hoping she'll get what you mean.
>The little pegasus looks up at you and whickers, happily?
>Yeah, she's smiling, so whatever the hell game they're playing, she at least seems pleased about it.
>Your ice cream is going to be more of a soup if you stay out much longer though.