My stupid greentexts from https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41847236/

>you have the only computer in equestria
>it still has internet access, thanks discord
>this has made you you stick to your old neet habits
>there's a wide magical world out there but you can still shitpost on 4chan and play immersive sims, what more do you need?
>there's just one itty bitty problem
>"Anooon!"
>you let sweetie belle use your computer one time
>one fucking time
>and now she comes over every day after school to try and play gta online
>you can hear her hooves scraping against your door as she whines outside
>"I just wanna finish my heist! I'll be such a good filly, I won't buy any cars this time! I promise!"
>she's gonna buy more cars
>she even figured out how to buy shark cards, the little shit
>"Anooon... I just really like spending time with you, it's... i-it's really fun..."
>you can hear her sniffling
>motherfucker
>you're going to regret this

>you plug the gamepad into the front of your tower
>sweetie belle's already standing on your chair, practically bouncing with excitement
>you set the controller down just in front of her and get the game started, joining a private session
>her horn sparks and flickers with just enough magic to let her move the sticks and press the buttons
>you suspect that's part of the appeal for her, even her limited telekinesis skills work for this
>she's a smart filly
>smart enough to press down on the d-pad and see that there's no player list
>"Hey! I wanna play with everypony else!"
>she huffs and puffs up at you for a moment
>and then she remembers what actually gets you give in
>that puppydog expression, she's pleading
>"It's a lot more fun when I'm not alone..."
>fucker.
>you go into the settings and switch her to a public lobby
>the moment she's in, she's looking towards the microphone on your desk
>"Hi everypony! I hope you're all having fun!"
>you can hear half a dozen people telling the squeaker to fuck off
>she just giggles
>you really, really hope she doesn't start using the vocabulary she's learning from playing this
>part of you wants to head off and do something else but hearing regular people calling the filly slurs reminds you that you do have some responsibility here
>so... you just watch her play
>she's absolutely not good at the game, she can't move both sticks at the same time, but she is playing it regardless
>it takes her a little while to get people for the last mission of her heist
>mostly because the average person leaves the party the moment they hear her voice
>but eventually she has three people who don't give a shit and she can actually go ahead with the heist
>one of the other party members takes care of most of it but she's having a blast regardless
>even when she's just sitting in the back of an armored car she's praising the driver for his skills
>you're pretty sure he's russian and is just grinding out heists for easy money
>when the mission's complete she cheers
>"Great job everypony! You're the best robbers ever!"
>the russian actually says 'you're welcome', the other two are silent
>sweetie's just happy that she won

>back in the main lobby, sweetie belle goes into one of your garages and examines your car collection
>"Your cars are so boring looking, Anon... why don't you make them pretty?"
>her idea of pretty is a lot like her older sister's
>you really, really don't want her to customize your entire collection
>and luckily, you don't have to worry about that this time because she gets distracted
>what she gets distracted by is far more concerning
>someone just noclipped through the wall into the garage
>cheaters are never a good sign
>she's just excited to have a friend, of course
>"Hi mister! Wanna check out Mr. Anon's cars with me?"
>he doesn't
>instead, he spawns hundreds of bags of cash and disappears
>oh no
>you try and warn her but she's not listening, she's spamming the A button to try and sprint faster
>she picks all of it up. all of it.
>"Thank you so so much mister! I won't have to buy Shark Cards and make Mr. Anon mad at me now!"
>you already know what's going to happen
>she gets booted out of the lobby and the popup informs the both of you that she's been banned from grand theft auto online
>you look down at her, she's just confused
>"Did something happen?"
>you have to try and explain it to her
>by the time she understands what's happened, she's crying
>"B-but... but... why would he do something that would get me in trouble!? I... I didn't..."
>you're really not great with kids
>a few minutes of consoling later, you agree that you're going to try and get discord to make you an xbox because hackers aren't on xbox
>why didn't you make sure she played peggle or something?
>you could've prevented all of this


bonus:
>you've spent the past hour terrorizing some little brat
>you've sent endless mountain lions after her, she's had a 5-star wanted level the whole time, her apartment is unusable
>she's clearly having no fun
>"T-that does it! I'm writing a letter to the princess about this!"
>lmao she has an imaginary friend
>the next day you get on your pc and find you have no internet connection
>you go and check your modem
>there's no cable in the wall
>it's just gone, the wall looks like there was never one in the first place
>you go outside
>there's not even a cable going into your house anymore
>what the fuck just happened

bonus 2:
>you've let sweebs play on your pc again
>you walk into your bedroom and she waves at you, though she doesn't look away from the screen
>she's clearly entranced
Hey Sweetie. What's the game?
>you walk on over and get a clear view of the screen
>teenage cadance is sucking a nondescript human's dick
>oh no no no no no
>"Anon... is this real? Cadance didn't do that, did she?"
NO. It's... it's like, uh. A joke? Yeah. It's a joke.
>she tilts her head a little
>"...Huh. I don't get it."
Haha yeah I don't either! So weird! Anyways, you wanna play something else?
>you go to grab the mouse
>she pulls it towards herself and holds it protectively
...Sweetie Belle.
>"I wanna see the other animations."
>fuck, you're getting a talking to from twiggles after this one

bonus 3:
>Scootaloo's standing on her hinds, wings buzzing wildly to try and help her stay stable.
>Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are to either side of her, trying to keep her from tipping over.
>The Wiimote's clamped between her front hooves.
>She can't really swing but she can at least move it around.
>Tennis is going surprisingly decently, she's managing some back-and-forth.
>Eventually she tries to lean far to the right in order to catch the ball and causes the three of them to tip over.
>Immediately, they're all looking at her flank.
>"...Nope, not a tennis pro!" She doesn't sound surprised.
>Sweetie Belle's less convinced. "You need the outfit! We looked at the pros on Anon's computer and they all have cool tennis outfits!"
>They spend the next few minutes arguing about how to get their cutie marks from playing a video game.

bonus 4 (gta 4 edition):
>you made a cup telephone so you two can talk 'over the phone'
>she's been practicing the accent for days now, even at school
>the worker at the bowling alley is very confused by why she's saying the same lines over and over
>both of you mostly roll gutterballs but it doesn't matter
>when you're all done, she leads you over to sweet apple acres to drink cider
>she's trying to imitate euphoria drunk physics on the way back home
>eventually, her antics go a little too far and she scrapes her knee
>those eyes stare up at you
>she's pleading again
>god damn it
>you carry her back to the boutique while she continues to pretend to ragdoll, limbs flailing lazily this way and that