Part I:
>You gulp nervously and take a step closer towards the town square.
>Today's the day.
>The other townsponies glance your way for a brief moment before returning to their business.
>The day you move into Ponyville.
>A fruit vendor calls out to you, eager for her first sale of the morning.
>The day you officially join equestrian society.
>You stop to buy some apples and place them in your weathered saddlebags.
>The day you can finally feel...NORMAL.
>You reach the town hall where a tan mare with white hair happily greets you.
>"Hello there! Welcome to Ponyville!"
>She trots up to you and extends a hoof.
>"I'm Mayor Mare, the mayor of this happy little town!
"Hi, I'm Anonymous." You reply while shaking her hoof. "But you can call me Anon."
>Normally you'd bumble through conversations like this, but today is special.
>"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Mous!" She exclaims.
>Damnit, you told her to call you Anon!
>"I take it you're ready?" She asks after eyeing your saddlebags.
>You nod with a smile.
>"Splendid!" She clops her hooves together.
>The kind mare guides you through the maze of happy cottages and shops until you're standing in front of the old town windmill.
>"Here she is!" The mayor exclaims.
>You look the place over and physically cringe.
>The door is faded and full of cracks.
>The windmill's blades crack and groan as they struggle to rotate.
>Hell, the entire building looks like a remnant of the last pony war!
"Well, it's uh, very....rustic?" You scratch your chin.
>Words fail to adequately describe the state of this absolute trainwreck of a structure.
>"Oh, wait until you see the interior!" The mayor happily hops in place.
>Mayor Mare grabs the key hanging around her neck and unlocks the door.
>*GROOOOAAAAANNNN*
>Holy bits, it sounds like this place is ready to crumble!
>You duck for cover in a nearby bush, earning a playful chuckle from the old mare.
>"Oh my, did something spook you?" She asks.
>You frantically shake your head.
>Don't get cold hooves now, you bleedin' idiot!

Part II:
>You cautiously follow Mayor Mare into the old windmill, its old floorboards creaking with every hoofstep.
>The mayor stops and directs your attention towards a large room at the end of the entryway.
>"This is the living room, perfect for those cozy little get-togethers with friends!"
>You look around the rundown room in disbelief.
>The floorboards are warped and splintered.
>The curtains are torn and tattered. 
>The sofa is covered in dust and exposed springs.
>The windows are muddy and dark.
>Cozy for who exactly? Zombies? Ghosts?
>The cheerful mare then trots past a winding set of stairs to the adjacent room.
>"And this is the kitchen!" She declares.
>Worn appliances huddle atop a grungy countertop while an old refrigerator hums against the opposite wall.
>The stove is rusted with its door hanging open, revealing a small nest of mice among the debris.
>You'll definitely be ordering takeout for the foreseeable future.
>The more you see of this old place, the more you regret buying it.
>You force a smile to avoid hurting the old mare's feelings.
>After all, it's not like she was the one who ran this dump into the ground.
>The mayor squees with delight at your reaction and continues the tour.
>"And up here you'll find all the comforts of home."
>Your ears perk up at the sounds of soft grunts floating down from the second floor.
>Sounds like the poor mare and stairs don't get along very well.
>You quickly trot upstairs after her and find yourself in a small windowless hallway lined with three doors.
>Beyond the third door lies another, smaller set of stairs leading up to a dark room that's hard to make out.
>"Phew! That counts as my workout for the day!" The mayor says in a huff.
>You can't help but giggle at her joke.
>"Y-You're too kind, Mr. Mous..." 
>The mare blushes and nervously plays with her gray mane.
>"A-Anyhoo...this is the master bedroom!" 
>She quickly points to the faded blue door next to you.
>The door almost flies off of its broken hinges as the two of you walk into the room.
>She flips a switch on the nearby wall, flooding the room with a dim yellow light.
>Your jaw drops.

Part III:
>You see a large red bed sitting in the middle of the room.
>The windows are clean and adorned with navy blue curtains.
>Beautifully crafted wooden furniture lines the east and west walls.
>The carpeting is vibrant and soft to the touch.
>There isn't a thing out of place anywhere in the area.
>Aside from a thick layer of dust, this room is immaculate!
>You turn to the mayor and stare at her in shock.
"How-?" You gasp.
>"How what, Mr. Anon?" She asks in confusion.
"How is this room so perfect when the downstairs looks like a-?!"
>You stop short at the sight of tears forming in the old mayor's eyes.
"Erm, w-when the downstairs areas look so dirty?" You quickly divert your train of thought.
>The mayor sighs and turns towards the window.
>"It's a long story." She confesses. "I wouldn't want to bore you with the silly details."
>Okay, now she's DEFINITELY provoking your curiosity.
"Tell me." You firmly respond.
>The mare removes her glasses to look at the outside scenery.
>"Once upon a time, a happy young couple moved into this windmill."
>You stand by her side and pretend to look out the window.
>"They were the sweetest lovers anypony had ever met, 'a match made in heaven' one might say."
>Her voice suddenly drops to a whisper of sorts, compelling you to move closer.
>"But one day something terrible happened."
>Sheesh, what's with that cryptic undertone?
"Well? What happened, Ms. Mare?"
>She takes a deep breath and steels herself.
>"One day, the stallion left without a word."
>You swear she's fighting back sniffles as she speaks.
>"The poor mare was *hic* heartbroken." She continues. 
>"As the days turned into weeks, weeks into months, she realized her husband was *sniffle* never coming back..."
>You hand the sniffling mayor a tissue.
>"Thank you, dear." She squeaks while blowing her nose.

Part IV:
>"The town knew right away that something was wrong." She continued. "M-Myself included of course."
>The afternoon sun washes over her face through the window.
>"At first the mare frantically searched every street in Ponyville, desperate to find any trace of her beloved."
>She wipes her eyes and places a hoof on the window pane.
>"But everypony she asked said they hadn't seen him." The mare bites her quivering lip. "It was as though he vanished from the world altogether."
>You feel a chill running down your spine, mainly because nopony ever mentioned that Equestria was h-haunted!
>"The mare eventually gave up her search and sold this old place back to the town."
>Why does it feel like she's still hiding something?
>"As for the mare, she was never quite the same."
>The mare slowly turns to face you and forces a smile.
>"Oh my gracious, you must be bored to death hearing such a...silly stor-"
>You wrap your hooves around the startled mare and hug her close.
>Mayor Mare's eyes widen in surprise, but soon she's returning the favor with a snuggle of her own.
>"Mmmm...." She coos.
>You feel a wet spot on your neck where her head now rests.
>It's not like you to dish up compassion to ponies you just met, but deep down you know she needs this.
>Judging by her reactions, Ms. Mare knows she needs this as well.
>After what feels like hours, the mare reluctantly breaks off the embrace and stares at you in amazement.
>"Anon, I-"
>She struggles to form the right words, unintentionally dragging the two of you into an awkward silence.
"It's okay, Mayor." You reassure her. "I think I understand now."
>The mayor's face turns beet red as she begins to realize the gravity of the situation.
>"Was it that obvious?"
>You nod.
>"Then I've said too much." She sighs.
>Your ears perk up at the sound of a clock chiming four times in a row.
>"Good heavens, is that the time?!"
>Mayor Mare looks at the clock and begins to panic.
>"I still have to review the new trade proposal!"
>You raise a hoof to try and calm her down, but the mare is already galloping downstairs.
>The mayor reaches your front door and practically rips the poor thing from its hinges.
>"EEEK! I've also forgotten about Princess Celestia's royal visit this weekend!"
>The mare is two hooves out the door before you manage to catch up to her.
"Thank you for the home tour, Ms. Mare."
>She stops in her tracks, suddenly aware of the reason she came to visit in the first place.
>"Y-You're very welcome." She replies. "If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Of course." You calmly reply. "Oh, and Mayor?"
>"Yes, Anon?"
"If you ever want to talk, I'm here."
>The frazzled mare thanks you with a warm smile and shuts the door behind her.
>Silence falls upon the windmill, but you no longer feel alone in this world.

Part V:
>The next few weeks are a blur of unpacking, getting to know your new neighbors, and cleanup.
>Lots and lots of cleanup.
>With a little help from the townsponies, you were able to get the old mill up and running again.
>Turns out that things like flour and gravel are fast-selling commodities in this world.
>Thanks to the mayor's new trade deal, you were able to ship your goods out to all four corners of Equestria without too much trouble (or tax).
>Life is good, if not a tad lonely at times.
>There's no shortage of beautiful mares living here to woo, but your mind (and heart) continue drifting towards one particular mare.
>The sun sets on the horizon just as you finish up the last of the house cleaning. 
>Its fading radiance bathes the entire town in a cozy swirl of orange and pink hues, a romantic sight if you've ever seen one.
>It's almost as if Celestia herself is subtly telling you what needs to be done.
>You enter Town Hall with a renewed vigor, eager to see a certain mayor about some personal business.
>*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
>Your shaky green hoof taps on the door leading to Mayor Mare's office.
>Wait a minute, why are your hooves shaking?!
>Frazzled nerves were supposed to be a thing of the past!
>The seeds of doubt quickly begin to take root in your mind.
>What if you're not the mayor's type?
>What if you do something stupid?
>What if she only sees you as an acquaintance?
>What if she's already seeing somepony?
>What if she's not as nice as she seems?
>WHAT IF SHE SAYS 'NO'?
>WhAt iF-
>"Anon?"
>A soft voice snaps you out of the rabbit hole, causing you to stumble backwards in surprise.
>Mayor Mare stands in the doorway of her office with a concerned expression on her face.
>"May I...help you?" She asks.
>Ah bits, you're already off to a great start.
>You resist the urge to facehoof and clear your throat.

Part VI:
"Uh, hi there, Mayor Mare." You smile a bit too intensely. "N-Nice day today huh?"
>If you had pockets, they would be spilling over with spaghetti right about now.
>What the buck is happening?!
>"Why yes, it was a beautiful day." The mare stares at you awkwardly. "Did you need something?"
>The fear of rejection has you freezing in place.
>Come on, it's not that hard to ask a mare out.
>USE YOUR WORDS!
>The mayor locks up her office and tries to avoid staring at your dumbstruck face.
>"It's getting rather late, perhaps we can discuss what's on your mind tomorrow?"
>Mayor Mare steps out into the town square and beckons you with an impatient hoof.
>Your ears droop.
>Your heart pounds in your chest.
>Sweat begins dripping down the sides of your head.
>This golden opportunity is slipping through your hooves!
>You quickly gallop over to the mayor's side as she begins to lock up town hall for the night.
>Accursed words, why do they fail you in this crucial hour of need?!
>"Well, it's been...interesting...chatting with you Anon, but I need to head home-"
>It's now or never, make your choice.
"WAAAAAAIIIIT!"
>Your thunderous neigh almost knocks the frightened lady onto her rump.
>A wise pony always did say that confronting your fears head on is the best way to overcome them.
"M-Mayor Mare, please forgive me for shouting."
>You take a deep breath and slowly approach her.
"But I need to ask you something."
>The poor mare is still shaking like a leaf, but ultimately agrees to hear you out.
>You look her right in the eye.
"Miss Mare, would you like to have dinner with....m-me?"
>The mayor's jaw drops at the implications of your question.
>"What did you...s-say?" She asks in a trembling voice.

Part VII:
"I said: would you like to go out to dinner with me?" You ask again.
>The mayor stumbles to her hooves and stares at you as though you've grown a second head. 
>You stand there eagerly waiting for the mare's answer.
>Your burst of confidence begins to dwindle with each passing moment of silence.
>Why doesn't she say something?!
>Mayor Mare suddenly takes a few steps forward until her face is mere inches away from your own.
>"You sure know how to flatter this old mare, Anon." She giggles. "But I'm afraid I have to decline."
"Huh? W-Why not?"
>You don't even try to hide the hurt in your voice.
>The mare forces a smile, but it ultimately fails to soften the blow.
>"It's nothing personal, Anon." She sighs. "It's just that, well, I-I'm simply not ready to date again."
>Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.
"Oh."
>She places a hoof on your face.
>"I'm sure a handsome stallion like you could easily find a younger, prettier mare to ask out."
>She picks up her saddlebags and heads for the bridge behind you.
>"Goodnight Anon."
>Mayor Mare waves to you before disappearing over the bridge leading to her home.
>Tears stream down your face.
>She said no.
>Your legs twitch.
>SHE SAID NO.
>Your spine tingles.
>SHE SAID NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>Soon you're galloping back to the old windmill with the intent of NEVER leaving it again.

Part VIII:
>What went wrong?
>You toss and turn in bed as the morning sun warms your face.
>WHAT THE BUCK WENT WRONG?
>You want to lay in this bed for the rest of time, but the sun continues its relentless assault upon your body. 
>With a grunt of effort, you drag yourself out of bed and head for the bathroom.
>Did you come on too strong? Were you too blunt? DID YOU FORGET TO WEAR COLOGNE?
>*DING DONG*
>Oh bits, not now!
>You race downstairs to see who dares to interrupt your rejection crisis.
>"H..llo? Mr...M...us?" A muffled voice calls out in between knocks.
>You sigh and unlock the door to find a pink earth pony mare wearing a pilot hat.
>"Oh, there you are!" She grins ear to ear. "Good morning Mr. Mous!"
"Good morning, Cherry Berry." You do your best to sound pleasant. "And please, call me 'Anon'."
>The cheerful mare's smile disappears after looking you over.
>"Gosh, you don't look so good! Is everything okay?" She asks tenderly.
>You turn to the conveniently-placed mirror in the entryway and gasp.
>The vibrant green coat and black mane/tail combo you used to know are now pale and faded.
>You turn to Cherry Berry and whinny in a nervous manner.
"What's happening to me?!" You cry out.
>"You might be coming down with something." Cherry Berry quickly steps back. "Wait, are you contagious?!"
"How would I know?!" You snap back.
>Of all the days to get sick, it has to be on a delivery day?!
"Don't worry about me right now."
>You dash past her and load up the wagon with today's deliveries.
"We have a schedule to keep."
>Cherry Berry scurries over and hitches herself to the wagon.
"This load's destination is Hope Hollow."
>You scribble out a receipt and stick it to the cargo.
>Cherry Berry performs a cute little salute and begins trotting towards her hot air balloon.
"Goodbye Mr. Mous!" She waves to you. "I hope you feel better soooooon~!"
>You wave back and watch her disappear among the crowds of ponies.
>"Dangit Cherry, I told you to call me 'Anon'." You mutter with a soft chuckle.

Part IX:
>With the day's first delivery squared away, you pack a few things and head for the hospital.
>The townsponies stop to gawk at you and murmur amongst themselves as you trot through the streets.
>Geez, is your condition THAT noticeable?!
>You blush with annoyance and try to avoid eye contact until reaching the hospital entrance.
>Hopefully the medical staff can offer more compassion than your fellow villagers.
>You take one step into the lobby and all tartarus breaks loose.
>The sick and injured ponies begin to panic and stampede all over the place.
>Nurses pour in from every hallway and whisk you away to the emergency room.
>Doctors quickly form a defensive line and try to calm the crowd down before somepony gets hurt.
>You're ushered into a dimly-lit doctor's office, where a white mare waits patiently.
>"Please have a seat, sir." She softly commands. "We need to get started right away.
>She motions towards a nearby examination table.
>Without a word, you quickly shuffle onto the cold slab of steel and wait.
>"I am Nurse Redheart, the head nurse of this hospital wing."
"Hello..." You nervously reply.
>There's just something about doctors and nurses that give you the chills.
>Could be their ice cold stethoscopes.
>Could be the sharp needles they stab into your bare flesh.
>It could even be the way they're so unnaturally stoic in the face of medical emergencies.
>"Can you please describe the events leading up to your, erm, unique medical condition?"
>The nurse pulls out a notepad and prepares to record your testimony.
"Well, it all started when-" You begin.
>*POOF*
>You're immediately sent flying off the table by some kind of magic explosion.
>The nurse screams and runs for cover with her assistants.
>When the dust settles, you see a purple alicorn mare standing tall in the center of the room.
>She takes one look at you and squees with delight.
>"Yes! I KNEW I'd find you here!" She exclaimed.
>You cock your head in a mix of surprise and confusion.
"Princess T-Twilight?" You stammer. "What are you doing here?"

Part X:
>"Isn't it obvious?" She points at your faded coat.
>Oh right your fading sickness, or whatever this is.
"I appreciate your concern, but why would the royal family worry over a plain commoner like me?"
>Princess Twilight sighs and steps closer towards you.
>"What do you mean?" She narrows her eyes. "Should a princess NOT show concern for her subjects?"
>Your ears droop as the gravity of your foolish words begin to set in.
"I'm sorry Princess, that was a stupid question to ask." 
>You stare at the ground to avoid her piercing gaze.
>The last thing you need is to be banished to Tartarus or turned into stone.
>"It's okay, Anonymous." The purple horse smiles. "Let's focus on healing you."
>She poofs a book out of thin air and carefully reads through a bookmarked section.
"But Princess, what kind of sickness is this exactly?" 
>You tug at your faded coat, hopeful that the princess can find a cure in her book.
>Twilight shakes her head and steps closer towards you.
>"Anonymous, you're not suffering from any kind of medical illness."
>Nurse Redheart pokes her head out from behind the makeshift barricade.
"What do you mean, your highness?"
>Yes, what DOES Princess Twilight mean by not calling this a typical sickness?
>You and Nurse Redheart gather around Princess Twilight and anxiously wait for her response.
>"The origins of your affliction are not biological, but instead MAGICAL."
>Wait, you're sick with some kind of MAGIC? How is that even possible?!
"I-I don't understand Princess..." Your voice trails off.
>"My friends and I once traveled to a town full of ponies that were faded just like you." 
>Twilight turns the book around to show you an illustration depicting ponies with faded color schemes in a small town.
>"We searched high and low to try and find out what was causing this strange epidemic."
>You lean in closer with the eagerness of a young colt listening to his parents' wild stories.
"Did you find out?"
>The princess nods and poofs the book out of existence.
>"Hope." The princess responds. "Or rather, the lack of it."
>Your eyes widen in surprise.
"Hopelessness, your majesty?"
>"That is correct, dear Anonymous."

Part XI:
>"The official term is 'Hopeless Magic'." She continues.
>Your thoughts immediately drift back to the events that unfolded last night.
>Asking Mayor Mare out to dinner was indeed supposed to instill hope in your heart.
>Unfortunately, that hope was quickly killed and buried when she said no.
>It's all coming together, and you don't like the implications.
>"Do you understand now, my dear subject?" The princess asks in a soft voice.
>You nod.
>"Good." 
>Princess Twilight places a hoof on your shoulder.
>"Hopeless magic is a terrible thing, Anonymous."
>Tears begin running down the purple mare's cheeks.
>"NOPONY should ever have to experience it."
>Damn, this IS serious if it's making a princess cry!
>"Oh dear, would you look at the time?"
>Nurse Redheart giggles nervously and glances at her bare wrist.
>"I have to get back to my rounds! Please excuse me, your highness!"
>The frazzled nurse bows to the princess makes a quick exit along with her assistants.
>"Farewell Princess Twilight! Anonymous!"
>Her voice trails off as the door closes, leaving you and the princess in a deafening silence.
"Give it to me straight Princess, what's the cure for this hopeless magic stuff?" You ask bluntly.
>"Anonymous-"
"Please, call me Anon." You interrupt. "Everypony else does."
>"Very well, Anon."
>Twilight clears her throat and steps back.
>"Anon, there is no magical cure for this particular affliction."
>You utter a whinny of distress and begin to panic.
>There's no hope for you now, it's all over but the funeral!
>"Wait Anon, please calm down!" The princess cries.
>You ignore her and begin to gallop around the room as though you've lost your mind.
>What's the point of living now?!
>You can practically FEEL the small slivered remains of hope being drained from your soul.

Part XII:
>Furniture and medical equipment fly in every direction as you continue your distressed rampage.
>Your life is over.
>"Anon..."
>No self-respecting mare will ever want you now.
>"ANON!"
>You didn't even get to see Saddle Arabia-
>"NEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIGHNOOOON!"
>Your body freezes in place after a hoof stomp sends powerful purple shockwaves through the room.
>The princess' powerful alicorn magic sends you flying through the air until you're once again standing before her.
>"Anon PLEASE, calm down..."
>You try to focus somewhere else, but the magic forces you to look directly at her.
>The mare's eyes are ablaze with a mix of concern and irritation.
>Oh bits.
>"I want to help you, Anon." She sits on her hindquarters. "But I need to know one thing first."
>Her magic dissipates, dropping you on your own butt.
>"Why did you lose hope?"
>Now it's YOUR turn to cry.
>She leans in expectantly, seemingly eager to hear what ails you.
>You take a deep breath and gather your thoughts.
>If a literal princess wants to know what's wrong, then you're going to tell her exactly what's wrong.
"I asked a mare out yesterday, and she rejected me."
>Twilight blinks in disbelief, much to your dismay.
>"That's it?" The princess chuckles. "And here I thought it was something serious!"
>Princess Twilight gasps as your colors fade again, leaving you almost completely monochrome.
>You should've known she wouldn't understand.
>The royal family must be DROWNING in suitors on any given day.
>For peasants such as yourself however, finding a good mate just isn't that easy.

Part XIII:
>"Finding a marefriend is really that important to you?"
"Yes."
>You look her square in the eye and snort.
"It's every stallion's goal to find a nice mare and settle down, y'know?"
>Princess Twilight is taken aback by your heartfelt response.
"To love and cherish her every single day, to give her as many foals as she wants..."
>Your train of thought crashes as HEARTS begin to form in the flustered princess' eyes.
>Twilight bites her lip and turns around, presenting her bare purple rump in all its regal glory.
>"P-Perhaps I can help you with that, just for today?"
>It doesn't take long for you to become painfully erect after seeing such a shameless display of marebits.
>Your primal instincts kick into overdrive, tempting you to rut this (admittedly beautiful) mare.
>What sane stallion WOULDN'T mate with a princess if given the chance?
>Your heart however, says the exact opposite.
>You shake your head and step away from Princess Twilight.
"I appreciate the offer, Princess." You reply. "But I want a future wife, not a one night stand."
>"Oh, I...see..."
>Twilight turns to face you and immediately loses herself in thought.
>Oh no, what other harebrained schemes is she concocting in that royal head of hers?
>You gulp nervously and turn towards the exit.
>"A-Anon, wait!"
>The panicked princess practically throws herself at you before reaching the door.
>"I-I can still help...some...how..."
>The alicorn's tear-filled eyes betray her words.
>You sigh with disappointment and face the desperate mare.
>"A princess is supposed to help her subjects..."
>Princess Twilight utters a defeated whinny and buries her face in her hooves.
>Damn, she's taking this harder than you.

Part XIV:
>On the one hoof, you want to just leave and wallow in misery alone.
>On the other hoof, you can't stand to see a mare in distress.
>After a little mental back and forth, you come to a decision.
>You walk over and place a hoof on her trembling shoulder.
>"Huh?!" Twilight snaps out of her distress. "A-Anon, I-"
>You gently shush her with a hoof to the mouth and smile.
"Wanna grab a hayburger? I think some food will clear our heads."
>Twilight sits there in stunned silence, unsure of how to answer you.
>*GRUMBLE*
>Twilight blushes at the sound of her rumbling belly.
>"That sounds like a great idea." She smiles bashfully.
>You help the hungry princess to her hooves and together, the two of you head for the Ponyville Café.
>The sun is shining brightly as you take your seats in the outdoor section.
>Twilight squees with delight while looking over the menu.
>"Hayburgers, salads, milkshakes, fries, onion rings...this place is heaven!" She happily exclaims.
>You can't help but utter a chuckle at the princess' adorkable display of enthusiasm.
>The waiter approaches and begins his usual greeting, but cuts himself short when spotting Princess Twilight.
>"O-Oh my, Princess Twilight?!" 
>The stallion almost trips over his own hooves trying to bow in front of your lunch companion.
>"To what do we owe the pleasure of your royal presence at our humble restaurant?!"
>"It's nothing official, just an empty stomach and some good company." Twilight grins.
>"Ohoho! Treating your date to some local Ponyville delicacies are we, your highness?" The waiter teases while glancing over at you. 
>Now it's YOUR turn to blush uncontrollably.

Part XV:
>The waiter takes one look at you and immediately drops the comedy act.
>"Are you feeling alright, sir? You look rather...faded."
"It's a long story." You confess. "But some good food should help me recover."
>The waiter nods and pulls out a notepad.
>"Very well." The stallion turns to face Twilight. "What would you like, your highness?"
>"I'll have three triple hayburgers, two sides of horseshoe rings, and a chocolate milkshake!"
>Your eyes widen at the ridiculous size of her order.
>Dayum, this mare must be STARVING!
>"All excellent choices, your highness!" 
>The waiter scribbles her order down on the notepad.
>"And for you, sir?"
>You skim over the menu, but it's hard to focus after everything that's happened.
>Something in the back of your mind continues to assert itself over all else.
>Is it a warning? A future vision perhaps? Or are you just losing your damn mind?
"Uh, I'll have a regular hayburger and some iced tea."
>To be brutally honest, you aren't all that hungry.
>Feeling like a hollow shell tends to have that kind of effect.
>"Very good! Your food will be ready momentarily."
>The waiter puts away his notepad and heads towards the kitchen. 
>"So, Anon..." Twilight focuses her attention on you. "How is life in Ponyville treating you?"
>You simply grunt and point at your faded coat with frustration.
>"Oh, right. Well then, h-how's your mill business?" 
>Twilight nervously plays with her mane and tries to change the subject.
"You know about my mill business?" You tilt your head.
>The princess smiles awkwardly and nods.
>"Of course! I do place orders from time to time." She explains. "Your flour is very high quality, perfect for cooking and baking!"
>Why are you not surprised?

Part XVI:
>"Alright, Anon..." Twilight clears her throat. "How can I help you?" 
>You raise an eyebrow.
>"R-Regain hope I mean!" She stammers.
>"The direct approach certainly didn't work." 
>Twilight blushes with a wing over her face.
>You sigh and take a sip of your tea.
"Princess..."
>"Please, call me Twilight." The mare smiles. "Everypony else does."
>You can't help but chuckle as the princess uses your own quip against you.
"As you wish, Twilight." 
>You smile and playfully bow in your seat, earning a cute chuckle from her in return.
"As I was saying, it's not like I think you're ugly or anything."
>"But-?" The Princess leans forward.
"But we'd have to take things slow." You say firmly.
>The quirky mare sits in silence, waiting for you to continue.
"We'd have to get to know each other, go on some dates, meet each others' friends..."
>You tap your hooves on the table to try and shake off the awkwardness of your one-sided conversation.
"...and hey, if we're compatible, then we could get married, have some foals and-"
>You stop short at the sight of Twilight panting like a dog in the summer.
>Oh dear Celestia, you got her all worked up again.
>The purple princess fidgets uncomfortably in her seat.
"Twilight, are you in estrus or something?"
>You quickly stuff your hooves into your mouth.
>What the hell were you thinking, saying something like that in front of the princess?!

Part XVII:
>The princess' face turns beet red as she struggles to explain herself.
>"Well, I..uh, you see, the thing is-"
>Truth be told, seeing her get all flustered like this is really cute.
>"My sincerest apologies for the wait, your highness!"
>The waiter shows up out of nowhere and quickly serves the food to your table.
>"Bon appetit!"
>The stallion blows a chef's kiss and quickly gallops back inside the restaurant.
>"It all looks so delicious!"
>Twilight happily clops her hooves together and dives face first into the small mountain of food on her plate.
>*MUNCH*
>You can't help but feel that she's dodging your question.
>"Mmmmmmm~!"
>Twilight's cheeks puff out with every bite she takes.
>You slowly take a bite from your own hayburger and continue to watch the food carnage unfold.
>Seeing a princess pig out like this is as cute as it is unsettling.
>'Does Twilight always eat like this?' You wonder.
>"Ishn't dish fewd da tashtiesht you'be ebah had?!" She squeals through a mouthful of horseshoe rings.
>You slowly nod after taking another bite.
>The food is top notch, as expected from a humble town like Ponyville.
>You take a drink of ice tea and almost spit it out.
>Twilight already cleaned her plate?!
>She sighs with satisfaction and reclines back to rub her now swollen belly.
>"Ponyville's rustic cuisine never fails to brighten my day!"
>She sits upright and gives you the dorkiest smile you've ever seen.

Part XVIII:
>You notice some sauce and bits of bun stuck to her cheeks.
"Twilight, you have a little something on your-"
>The mare touches her own cheek and gasps.
>"Oh how sloppy of me!"
>Twilight scrambles to grab a napkin and begins grinding it all over her face.
>"Is it gone?" She asks nervously.
>You try to contain your laughter and nod, much to Twilight's confusion.
>"Heeeey, what's so funny?" She frowns.
>It's amazing how oblivious Twilight is to her own quirky charms.
>Behind that regal exterior beats the heart of a humble mare.
>A mare that may very well be worth getting to know.
"Oh nothing..." You lie.
>The flustered princess snorts with annoyance and sips her milkshake.
>"You really are hopeless." She sighs.
>Ouch.
>You immediately fall silent and stare at the remains of your ice tea.
>Twilight realizes what she just said and tries to shift the conversation.
>"I'm really sorry for that poor choice of words, Anon." She looks you in the eye. "Now how can we help you out of this funk you're in?"
>You pause to ponder the purple pony's proposal.
"Finding a special somepony would be a great start."
>"That's it!" She exclaims.
>Twilight's face lights up as she begins doing a little happy dance on top of the table.
>You physically recoil at the mare's unusually sporadic behavior.
"What's it?" You squint at her.
>"The Hearts and Hooves Day festival!" She trots up to you and grins. "It's this weekend!"
>You almost fall out of your seat.
"Hearts and Hooves Day?" Your ears droop. "The heck is that?"
>"It's the answer to your problem, my dear Anon!"

Part XVIX:
>She eagerly grabs you with her magic and the restaurant disappears in a poof of purple magic.
>You find yourself standing in a massive library, complete with gilded staircases and fancy chandeliers.
"Where...ARE we?"
>You look around the library and stare in awe at the thousands of books covering every single wall.
>"Welcome to my humble library!" She proudly announces.
>Huh? There's nothing humble about this gaudy place!
"So, why are we here exactly?"
>Twilight begins flying too and fro, seemingly hunting for something specific.
>"Why, we're here to prepare you for the Hearts and Hooves Festival of course!" She shouts from above.
>How will scrolls and books help you with such a thing?
>She soon grabs a book from one of the highest shelves and descends with it cradled in her hooves.
>*WHOMP*
"AIIIIEEEEEE!"
>Her rough landing sends you flying into a pile of books on the floor.
>"Oops, sorry about that." She bashfully flutters her wings. "I'm still getting used to the whole 'pegasus' thing."
>You clutch at your head and stumble out of the book pile.
"So am I." You shoot back.
>It's still hard to believe that just a few moons ago, Twilight was a humble unicorn working on 'friendship' research.
>Now she's the Princess of Friendship itself.
>Imagine DATING such a cute princess...
>"Uh, Anon? Are you alright?"
>You snap out of your thoughts and spin around to face Twilight.
"Yeah, I-I'm fine." You insist.
>"Really?" She raises an eyebrow. "Because it looked like you were swooning just now."
>NANI?!
>You? Swooning?
>Her eyes must be in backwards or something!
>A strong stallion like you would never do such an embarrassing thing.
>Wait, why does your face feel hot?

Part XX:
>"Anyhooo..." 
>She opens the book and flips through the pages.
>"This book on pony courtship will no doubt help you find the mare of your dreams....hopefully..."
>Your ears twitch when she practically whispers that last word.
>'Hopefully' indeed.
>Perhaps Twilight isn't being as sincere as she led you to believe...
>...
>Hearts and Hooves Day is finally here.
>Ponies are happily trotting all over town, preparing for the main festival.
>Large pink and red streamers hang from the cottages.
>Heart decorations are EVERYWHERE.
>Delicious Hearts and Hooves Day themed food and drinks line the numerous vendor carts scattered around the town square.
>Pony couples affectionately nuzzle and kiss one another all over town.
>You however, are knocking back pints alone at Applejack's cider wagon.
>Twilight said she'd meet you here at the festival, but never showed up.
>Did she stand you up?
>You take another swig of cider to lessen the sting of loneliness.
>"Beg yer pardon, sugarcube..."
>You turn to see an orange earth pony pointing at a pile of empty mugs on the counter.
>"But ah think ya've had enough fer one day."
>You calmly set your mug down, face the nosey mare, and take a deep breath.
"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"
>Your shouting knocks the applehorse right on her rump.
>An awkward silence hangs in the air as you take another sip of cider, and this time you make sure to look her in the eye while doing so.
>"Oh would'ja lookit that? Ah'm outta cider!" She smiles nervously. "Better head back to the farm an *heh* get sum moar..."
>Applejack quickly scrambles to her hooves and gallops out of sight.
>Damn applefolk, thinking they can tell you what you can and can't have.
>You're not even sure why you choose to remain at the festival.
>It's not like there's a special somepony waiting for you or anything.
>Another mug empty.
>You toss it into the pile and recline in your stool.
>Dear Celestia above, you wish something would end your misery.

Part XXI:
>"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
>Your right ear perks up at the sound of a gentle voice approaching from the east.
>There stands a gray pegasus mare with a yellow mane and tail.
>Two big yellow crossed eyes betray the friendly smile adorning her face.
>You stare at the strange pony in disbelief, but ultimately wave her over to the vacant barstool.
>Misery loves company after all.
>"Oh, thank you mister!"
>The mare clops her hooves together and flies towards you.
>*CLANK*
>She lands on top of a table.
>"Oof!"
>You stifle a chuckle.
>The flustered mare puffs her cheeks out and flaps her wings.
>She then proceeds to land inside one of Applejack's empty cider kegs.
>"H-Huh?!" She cries out in surprise.
>With a grunt of effort she takes flight once more, only to crash into the wagon facefirst.
>*THUNK*
>"Owie!"
>She rubs her head and sighs in defeat upon the ground.
>"I just don't know *sniffle* what went wrong."
>Oh hell no, you are NOT about to let this poor mare cry!
>You leap down from your bar stool and offer her a hoof, earning a gasp from the distressed pony.
"Need some help?" You ask.
>She nods and clings to your hoof for dear life.
>One solid tug and the grateful mare is back on her legs.
>"T-Thank you, mister." She blushes and averts her eye.
"No problem, Miss...?"
>The mare perks up and flutters her wings in the most adorable way imaginable.
>"My name's Derpy!" She happily exclaims. "What's yours?"
"Anon." You smile.

Part XXII:
>The two of you make some small talk to pass the time.
>One minute you're telling Derpy about the joy (and misery) of owning a mill business.
>The next minute, she's gushing over the perks of working at the post office.
>She gets to travel a lot and meet all kinds of ponies wherever the deliveries take her.
>This bubbly mare is nothing if not passionate about the life of a mailmare.
>Speaking of travel, sometimes you wonder if moving to another town could alleviate this soul-crushing loneliness...
>"Are you waiting for your special somepony?"
>The smiling mare's innocent question makes your ears droop.
"Yeah, you could say that."
>You turn away from her and focus your sights on a group of ponies passionately dancing in the town square.
"But...she never showed up."
>Derpy gasps and firmly grabs one of your hooves.
>"I'm so sorry, Anon!"
>You're caught off-guard by the panicked pegasus' outburst.
>"N-Nopony should have to *hic* spend Hearts and Hooves Day alone."
>Where the hell did all this mushy stuff come from?
>Just when you think you have this mare all figured out, she throws you a curve ball.
"What about you?" You ask her. "Is there a Mr. Derpy waiting for you out there?"
>You point towards a massive crowd of ponies gathering near the food wagons.
>"I...I don't have a special somepony." She confesses.
>So much for thinking you were the only single (and miserable) pony in all of Ponyville.
>Hold the gramophone, something's not right.
"Wait a minute, if you're single and sad, then why don't you look like this?"
>You tug at your faded coat.
>She looks you over and shrugs.
>"Part of me keeps hoping, DREAMING, of the day I meet that special stallion who will sweep me off my hooves."
>She blushes and clasps her hooves over her cheeks.
>Celestiadamn this mare is too cute for her own good.
"Well, we're never going to be happy sitting here all day."
>You extend a hoof towards Derpy, eager to put a smile on that aderpable face of hers.
"What do you say we be alone, together?"

Part XXIII:
>"Gee Anon, no stallion has ever asked me out before." 
>Derpy fiddles with her mane and partially stares at the ground.
>It's almost scary how much you two have in common!
"Really?" You raise an eyebrow.
>She nods and wipes the tears from her eyes.
"Welp, that's their loss." You grin.
>You gently hold Derpy's hoof and begin walking her towards the heart of the festival.
"Let's have some fun."
>The flustered mare can't help but smile as you present her with a heart-shaped muffin from Mr. and Mrs. Cake's goodie cart.
>"How did you know I liked muffins?" She asks teasingly.
"I thought everypony did." You shrug.
>She nibbles on the muffin like it's the most important thing in the world.
>Note to self: learn how to bake muffins.
>"Thank you, Anon."
>You chuckle and wipe the crumbs from her snout.
"Don't thank me yet, Derpy." You point towards the mini carnival. "The night is still young."
>Your eyes widen when the sun literally starts setting on the horizon.
>Geez Celestia, it was just a figure of speech.
>Derpy gently nudges your shoulder, snapping you out of your weird funk.
>"Are you okay, Anon?" 
>Her beautiful eyes are alight with concern. 
>"We don't have to keep going if you're feeling sick."
>You quickly shake your head and trot in place.
"Oh I'm fine, never been better!" You quickly reassure her.
>You gallop over to a nearby carnival game booth and pay the vendor for a round.
>Derpy takes flight and lands beside you after colliding with an inconveniently-placed balloon cart.
>You chuckle and point at the tangle of balloon strings wrapped around her tail.
>She pouts and frantically untwists the balloons, freeing them into the twilight skies hanging overhead.
>"You gonna pay for those, lady?"
>A chubby red unicorn trots up to your date and holds out his hoof.
>"Oops, my bad." 
>She pulls out her wallet, but finds it completely empty.
>"Sorry mister balloon stallion, but I don't have any money."

Part XXIV:
>"Then it looks like you're going to work for me until they're paid off, googly eyes." The fat unicorn snarls.
>Derpy whimpers and hangs her head in shame.
"There's no need to be rude, dude."
>Without a second thought, you pull out a small bag of bits and present it to the obnoxious unicorn.
"Will this cover it?"
>The red slob begins salivating at the sight of your money.
>"It just might."
>You watch the greedy pony open the bag with his magic and thoroughly inspect every single coin.
>"You're lucky, googly eyes." 
>The unicorn tucks the bag of coins under his hat.
>"Don't expect all your debts to be paid so easily in the future."
>The red unicorn laughs giddily and trots off to one of the food carts.
>You take a step forward and prepare to chase down the fat bastard that insulted your date.
>Suddenly you feel a hoof gently pulling on your shoulder.
>"Please Anon, he's not worth it."
>You spin around and look right into Derpy's eyes.
>A strange sense of calm washes over you, and the hot-blooded desire for vengeance slowly fizzles out altogether.
"That guy was a real prick." You snort.
>Derpy nods with another of her trademark sheepish smiles.
"Do ponies always pick on you like that?"
>More tears drip from her beautiful eyes.
>Oh bits, it looks like you just re-opened an old wound.
>It's fairly obvious that Derpy got the short end of the 'gene pool' stick. 
>But for ponies to go out of their way and harass Derpy for something that isn't even her fault?
>That's just downright DESPICABLE, especially considering she isn't an axe murderer or anything like that.
>Derpy's functional enough to hold down a job AND she's got a humble personality to boot.
"Forget I asked."
>You quickly pick up a skee-ball from the machine and hand it to Derpy.
"Ladies first." You smile.
>She blushes ever so slightly and aims her skee-ball towards the goals.
>Derpy takes a deep breath, flicks her wrist, and tosses it up the wooden ramp.
>"Nyagh!" 
>You watch in shock as the ball flies upward in a straight line and lands in the small center goal.

Part XXV:
>The machine lights up and plays a cute little victory tune.
>Derpy cries out in surprise backs away from the skee-ball display.
>"Uh oh, did I break it?" She asks nervously.
>You chuckle and shake your head.
>"We have a winner!"
>The vendor grabs a stuffed bear from the prize rack and hands it to Derpy.
>"Oh wow..." She cuddles the toy close. "It's so fuzzy!"
>You walk over to the mare and gently pat her on the back.
"Congrats Derpy, you earned it."
>She smiles and pulls you in for a big hug with her free hoof.
"W-Woah! Hey! What's this for?!" You cry out.
>Derpy wraps her free wing around you, making escape all but impossible.
>"Thank you."
>Ah to be hugged by a mare, how you've longed for such an earthly delight.
>You eagerly hug her back, earning a coo of appreciation from the adorable pegasus.
>Wait, did she just thank you?
"What are you thanking me for?"
>You pull back and stare at her in confusion.
>"This is the first time I've ever won at, well, ANYTHING!" She admits.
>Wow, Derpy is trying really hard to take the title of "Ponyville's Biggest Loser" away from you.
>"I have a feeling that this wouldn't have happened without you."
>She smiles warmly and holds the teddy bear close to her chest.
>Your face feels hotter than the sun as you struggle to come up with some kind of response.
>The gray mare giggles at your buffoonery and leans in until her face is inches away from your own.
>"You know Anon, you're kinda cute when you blush."
>There's no way in Tartarus your face ISN'T red right now.

Part XXVI:
>The evening moves along at a brisk pace, but you're having too much fun to notice.
>Derpy appears to be having the time of her life.
>Carnival games, dancing, eating dinner, posing for silly caricatures, it doesn't matter the activity.
>That beautiful derped smile of hers never disappears, not even for a moment.
>Truth be told, you're having a great time as well.
>That in itself is a bit strange, because Hearts and Hooves is the LAST thing you expected to bring ANY kind of happiness.
>You look around the festival and see a lot of ponies resting at the nearby tables.
>It must be getting late.
>Damn, just when you were beginning to have some real fun.
>You turn to Derpy, who's busy stuffing her face with a rice cereal treat shaped like a pink heart.
>She notices you staring and quickly gulps down her food.
>"Oh hey Anon!" She waves to you like a goofball supreme. "Is something on *MUNCH* your mind?"
>Derpy's cheeks once again poof out with food, but her smile never falters.
>You shake your head and try to match her smile.
"Everything's fine, Derpy."
>"That's good to hear." She replies between mouthfuls. "Did you have lots of fun too?"
>You have no idea how right you are, silly mare.
"Oh yeah." You grin ear to ear.
>"Fillies and gentlecolts, may I have your attention please!"
>Your right ear twitches at the sound of a VERY familiar voice booming over the loudspeakers.
>"As Mayor of Ponyville, I hereby decree that the Hearts and Hooves Day festival is now officially concluded!"
>Janitor ponies arrive on the scene with empty carts and begin taking down the colorful decorations.
>"I sincerely hope you all found fun, food, laughs, and most importantly, love~!"
>You immediately look away from Derpy after seeing her flushed cheeks.
>C'mon Derpy, you can't be silly enough to fall in love after one measly day!
>"I can't wait to see you all again at next year's Hearts and Hooves Day festival! Good night!"
>The festivalgoers happily begin packing up and make their way home.
>"Awww, is the festival over already?"
>Derpy's ears droop with disappointment.
"Looks like it."
>You snag another muffin from the confection cart before the Cakes close up shop.
>She squees and bites into the muffin as the two of you leave the festival behind.

Part XXVII:
>"This was the best Hearts and Hooves Day ever!"
>Derpy happily skips alongside you with the teddy bear tucked under her wing.
"I'm glad you had fun, Derpy."
>The two of you leave the festival behind and head towards the town square.
>The moon casts a soft glow over the riverbank, almost as if it were some kind of sign...
>Derpy stares into the river and tilts her head in deep thought.
>You join her at the water's edge, curious to know what's on the mare's mind.
"What's up Derpy?"
>"Oh it's nothing really..." She trails off while playing with her hair.
>Yep, something's definitely up.
>You gently nuzzle her with your snout.
"C'mon Derpy, I can tell something's bothering you."
>Despite your best efforts, the mare remains lost in whatever thoughts are bouncing around in that head of hers.
>The two of you sit there for a while, each hoping the other would break the awkward silence.
>Derpy finally snaps out of it and opens her mouth to speak.
>"The moon looks so...beautiful...tonight." 
>She sighs and looks at the full moon hovering overhead.
>That wasn't quite the answer you were expecting, but it does give you an opportunity to be super cheesy. 
"Not as beautiful as you." You tease.
>You absentmindedly nuzzle Derpy again, a bit longer than last time.
>She's warm to the touch and her coat is so soft.
>And her scent, oh Celestia her bubbly scent!
>This is something you could get used to...
>"Mmmmh~!" She coos.
>Wait a minute, what the BUCK are you doing?!
>You quickly pull away and try to hide your blushing face.
>"Wha-?!"
>Derpy cries out from the sudden loss of affection and frantically leans towards you.
>"Why did you stop, Anon?!"
>The pain in her eyes sends a (metaphorical) knife plunging into your heart.
>"I thought-"

Part XXVIII:
>You place a hoof on the worried mare's face and smile.
>Derpy utters a confused whinny, but holds her hoof against your own.
"I really do like you Derpy, but don't you think we're rushing things just a smidge?"
>She shakes her head and pins you to the ground with a surprising amount of force, for a Pegasus at least.
>"No Anon, not at all!"
>You stare at her as though she grew a second head.
>"Couples are supposed to do lovey-dovey things together!" She insists.
>The flustered pegasus snuggles into you and happily sighs, desperately clinging to the affections you bestowed upon her mere moments ago.
>You try to break free, but her big bubble butt holds you in place like some kind of squishy boulder.
>Having a mare lay on top of you like this is seriously making you reconsider the whole "rushing things" schtick.
>You wrap your hooves around Derpy and lock lips with her.
>The amorous goofball moans into your lips and eagerly kisses you back.
>If Derpy doesn't stop soon, you're going to end up rutting her right here and now.
>Considering the circumstances, she might not be entirely opposed to that idea...
>*POOF*
>"There you are, Anon!"
>Twilight emerges from a burst of magic and waves to you.
>"Sorry I'm late, but there was some last minute royal business to-"
>Twilight's smile disappears as her eyes fall on Derpy, who is still firmly snuggling against you.
>"Oh, hi Princess!"
>Derpy waves to the stunned alicorn and lazily rises to her hooves.
>You quickly stand up and bow to the princess alongside your bubbly companion, but Twilight's shock does not wane.
"Twilight?" You exclaim. "What are you doing here?"
>The purple pony haphazardly trots over to you and Derpy.
>"I'm here to be your date for Hearts and Hooves Day of course!" She exclaims.
>The uneasiness in Twilight's voice betrays her courageous words.
"But Twilight, Derpy is my date for Hearts and Hooves Day."
>You hug Derpy close and happily nuzzle her cheek.
"On top of that, the festival is over now."
>You point towards the group of janitor ponies diligently disassembling the festival booths.
>"Oh no, I AM too late!"
>Twilight falls on her rump and utters a sorrowful neigh.

Part XVIX:
>You slowly approach the alicorn and sit next to her in the dirt.
"I remember arriving at the Hearts and Hooves festival with a newfound hope."
>You place a hoof on Twilight's shoulder in an attempt to calm her.
"I was pretty hyped to have a literal PRINCESS as my date."
>She looks up at you and tries to stifle her sniffles.
"Minutes slowly turned into hours, and my excitement gradually reverted back into despair."
>You take a deep breath and try to organize your thoughts.
"Being stood up is a heart-wrenching experience, even more so when done by a pony of royal status."
>"Anon, I-"
>You silence her protests with a hoof over her lips.
"I tried to salvage the evening with a few drinks, and then head home to wallow in more misery."
>Twilight is shifting uncomfortably on the ground, no doubt desperate to apologize and explain herself.
"Then this wonderful mare swooped in from nowhere and turned my night upside down."
>You motion towards Derpy, who is now playfully nibbling the nearby blades of grass.
"In a roundabout way, you kept your promise."
>"W-What do you mean, Anon?" Twilight cocks her head to the side.
"You helped me find a special somepony."
>Derpy flutters over to join you, but somehow ends up doing a barrel roll right into you.
>*THUMP*
>"Oops, sorry Anon." She blushes.
"Don't be." You reassure her. 
>You nuzzle into the silly pony and chuckle.
"I'm starting to like our cuddle sessions."
>Twilight suddenly interrupts your romantic moment with a nervous chuckle of her own.
>"Yes, well, I-I'm glad to see everything *sniffle* worked...out..."
>Twilight wipes her eyes and begins to float in the air.
>"I believe I have a few more *hic* royal matters to attend to."
>You and Derpy are blinded by a bright flash of light as Twilight disappears into the night. 
>Her muffled cries fade with the last traces of sparkly magic.
>You have a feeling this isn't going to end well.

Part XX:
>"Bye Princess!"
>Derpy waves at the fading magic dust and smiles.
>This mare is just too precious!
"It's getting late, Derpy."
>You stretch out and yawn, ready to hit the hay before you fall asleep right here and now.
"You're probably tired too right?"
>After a small pause, you turn towards the east bridge that leads home.
>"Wait!"
>You stop dead in your tracks.
"Yes, Derpy?" You ask teasingly.
>"Would you like to, um..." She twiddles her hooves. "C-Come hang out at my house?"
>One the one hoof, she's DEFINITELY rushing things now.
>On the other hoof, it somehow feels WRONG to turn down her invitation.
"I'd love to." You blurt out.
>Derpy's ears flicker as she lets loose another one of those adorable "Squee!" noises you've come to love.
>"Oh thank you Anon!"
>The mare grabs your hoof and flies off towards her house before you can even blink.
>...
>Her cottage lies westbound on the outskirts of town.
>The little house doesn't look like much from the outside, but it does have a beautiful backyard view of the lower valleys.
>At least, you THINK it does. 
>It's kinda hard to tell in the dark.
>"I-It's not much..." She fiddles with the keys. "But it's home."
>The front door swings open, revealing a cold dark living room.
>*SLAM*
>Derpy shuts the door behind you and locks it tight.
"Uh Derpy, why did you lock the door so fast?"
>Your gut is beginning to say "we're in trouble dude".
>Derpy ignores your question and dives in front of the darkened fire place.
>Soon the room is illuminated with a warm yellow glow.
>You see a small couch positioned in front of the fireplace, surrounded by all manner of books, toys and other various knick knacks.
>The excited mare beckons you to sit on the couch. 
>"This is going to be so much fun!" Derpy says with a playful giggle.