From the threads https://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/42406697
https://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/42410865

>Be human biologist
>That is, a biologist who is a human
>You have no interest in human biology
>The natural world is where it's at
>Also studied toon physics in college
>An uncommon combination despite how fascinating the two fields are when combined
>Anyway
>After college you spend a few years studying wild horse migrations and discover something impossible
>The horses are just straight-up teleporting from region to region
>Remember a sugar-addicted geek from college who would passionately talk over the professor during toon physics lectures
>Stuff about a teleportation project
>You look him up and email him about a possible anomaly but don't go into much detail, just that you're the biology guy and you've found something weird
>The next morning there's a knock on your apartment door
>Look through the peephole
>Lo and behold, it's the teleportation geek
>Hm. That was fast
>You open the door and step outside
>After irrelevant formalities and catching up on what each of you did after college, the geek asks about the anomaly
"You got any microphones on you?"
>"What? Why?"
"What we're about to discuss might be important to some powerful people"
>"You really think I'm working for anyone powerful?"
"You got a cell phone?"
>"Yeah. Why?"
"It has a microphone in it"
>"It's mathematically impossible for the government to listen in on everyone's conversations"
"Unless they store all the conversations until voice recognition gets a little better"
>"That's a lot of hard drives"
"Black budgets"
>After a little back-and-forth with the nowhere-near-paranoid-enough geek he agrees to leave his state-of-the-art flip phone in his car as the two of you go for a walk and finally discuss some science
>You explain what you've discovered
>Wild horses run in the direction of a forest before disappearing without a trace, only to re-appear on the other side of the forest
>The geek tells you to stop for a minute as he pulls out a notebook and scribbles in it
>And then correctly guesses the location of the forest
>And the exact date
>What the-
>He explains how he calculated the time and location of the anomaly, based on ley lines, moon phases, and some of his own experimental data
>The two of you immediately agree that this warrants further study
>The geek has some complex equipment and needs a second pair of hands to operate it
>The anomaly is going to be active again the following afternoon
>You both have empty schedules the next day so you agree to meet up by the spot of the anomaly at noon
>You go home and pack gear for the two-hour-long trip to the middle of nowhere
>Sleep

>You wake up, eat breakfast, blah blah blah
>You take your gear and drive to the spot, arriving at 11:54 ante meridiem
>Teleportation geek is already there setting up his equipment
>The area sure is colorful today
>You've been here a couple times before because, y'know, you're a biologist
>You help him set up his equipment, aiming sensors around the spot where the hoofprints suddenly stop
>The two of you inevitably start discussing the so-called "toon force"
>You explain the physics-bending organelles that must exist in toon cell walls
>He explains his theory that teleportation isn't actually an aspect of the toon force, but actually an entirely separate force that toons can tap into via the toon force
>And that the fact that it's separate means that non-toons should be able to utilize it via specialized equipment
>You're having your most fascinating conversation in years when the wind starts to pick up
>The anomaly is becoming active
>Out of the corner of your eye you spot a white-tailed doe
"Look, a deer!"
>The doe pronks through the clearing, headed in the general direction of where the anomaly should be
>She disappears in mid-air
>You were half-expecting weirdness but this is still shocking
>The geek fumbles with his equipment while you try to spot where the deer went
>That had to have been an optical illusion
>Like how the trees are shimmering from the convection
>On a cool day
>With a strong wind
>K-CRACK!!
>The sudden lightning strike causes one of the geek's metal boxes to explode, sending parts everywhere
>"Oh no oh no oh no"
>He's panicking
>You see a colorful vortex appear
>"RUN!"
>He takes off with surprising speed away from the vortex
>You chase after him
>And trip
>On a satellite dish
>And unplug it
>You watch in horror as the geek spaghettifies, being pulled into the vortex like a vivid painting of a black hole
>Then you start to float
>And get pulled in, feet first
>The whole world squishes and turns gray around you as you are pulled towards the vortex, the sound of a theremin emanating from it drowning out your own screaming
>You faint

>You are laying face-first in the dirt
>The air is warmer
>You sit up, your vision blurry, and look around
>Trees to the left
>Trees to the right
>They all look the same in your blurry vision
>The air smells like apples
>THOK!! TH-THUMP-THUMP!!
>What was that sound behind you
>You jerk your head and look
>Orange movement
>You rub your eyes and look again
>An orange quadruped trots, carrying baskets of red apples like saddlebags
>The creature's a, a-
>Holy shit look at the size of that eye
>You have no idea where you are but you might be gazing upon an alien being
>Your vision is still a little blurry
>You fumble for your phone to take a picture
>Right. You didn't bring it you dummy
>You could have at least brought a film camera
>Regretfully and hopefully you close your eyes for a few seconds
>Your vision is now clear
>You are in a cartoon orchard
>What
>Where's the creature
>There it is
>The orange quadruped is walking away from you at an angle
>It has large hooves, a yellow mane with a hair tie on it, a matching tail angled upwards to reveal a cloaca, and a stetson hat
>And it's as cartoony as the trees around you
>Hooves and a cloaca
>You have discovered a brand-new species
>Holy shit
>Your heart thumping, you watch as the creature places its baskets by an apple tree and bucks it like a horse
>THOK!! TH-THUMP-THUMP!!
>To your astonishment all of the apples fall off the tree and land perfectly in the baskets
>An intelligent creature with control over physics
"Whoa."
>Your hands shoot to your mouth as the creature turns its head in your direction and looks at you with its enormous eyes