Continued from https://ponepaste.org/11258

>The orange quadruped walking towards you
>You try not to make eye contact
>Which is hard because of how big its big green eyes are
>The creature stops walking and vocalizes
>"Howdy"
>You just stare
>"You must be the visitor Twilight was tellin' me about. Pleased to meet ya, my name's Applejack"
>Your eyes widen
>"You okay?"
"How are you speaking English?"
>"What's Ing-lish?"
"The language you're speaking. The one I'm speaking"
>"We're speaking Ponish right now, not Ing-lish!"
>You sit there and stare, confused
>"So what brings you to Sweet Apple Acres?"
>You think it's best not to reveal how you got here, just in case
"I dunno"
>"You don't know?"
"Uh, can I leave?"
>"Why would you wanna leave? You haven't tried our new apple lime cobbler recipe!"
"Okay"
>"Haha, I knew it!"
>Applejack takes off with terrific speed, leaving behind speed trails and a puff of smoke
>This really is a cartoon world
>You decide to stand up, and in doing so, look down at your hands for the first time since arriving
>Your now cartoon hands
>What the-
>Well that disproves a few theories
>Actually no, if the light polarizes and-
>Applejack returns with a picnic table and zooms off again
>You decide to watch
>After all, it's not everyday you get to witness cartoon physics in action
>You think you're the first human being to experience such a thing when suddenly you remember the geek
>Applejack had said, "You must be the visitor Twilight was tellin' me about."
>Okay, so you're the second human being to witness cartoon physics first hand
>Apparently the geek arrived much earlier event though the two of you went through the vortex just a few seconds apart
>Applejack returns again with bowls, cutlery, and a pan with a delicious-smelling apple lime cobbler
>It's too late to refuse to eat and you need to figure out where you are, so you eat some cartoon cobbler as you chat with your new otherworldly acquaintance
>You try to learn about whatever-this-place is without revealing too much about early twenty-first century Earth
>Like that matters, the geek has a big mouth anyway
>Applejack figures out that you're not the same being Twilight spoke with, whoever Twilight is
>Apparently this world is called "Equestria" and Applejack is a "pony"
>Nonsense. Ponies don't have cloacae, nor do their front teeth reach all the way to their back teeth, nor do they have double-jointed forelimbs which get larger towards their hooves, nor are their eyes so large and their nostrils so small, nor do they speak English, nor do they...
>Applejack finishes eating her serving and gets back to work
>You're not finished with the conversation though
>As Applejack continues to kick apple trees, you try to learn more about cartoon physics from her
"How do you get the apples to always land in the baskets?"
>"Uh, I put the baskets under the tree and give it a kick, like this!"
>THOK!! TH-THUMP-THUMP!!
>Once again every apple lands in the baskets
"Why don't any land to the side or bounce out?"
>"Because gravity pulls them down"
"But the ones that land towards the top, the angle of impact would push some of them sideways"
>"And gravity is still pulling them down. Does your world have variable gravity or something?"
>This conversation is going nowhere
>Of course. To a cartoon being, cartoon physics aren't cartoon physics. They're simply physics
>You ask about Twilight, and about the geek
>Applejack gives you directions to a "Golden Oak Library"
>You begin your journey to re-unite with the other scientist

>You walk though the town of "ponies"
>You need to come up with a better name but you left your cladistics book at home
>Convergent evolution is certainly at play here
>Plus this doesn't seem to be Earth so that complicates it
>Anyway
>On your way to the library you see a few more of the not-ponies
>Most shy away and you try not to stare at them but you're too curious
>The majority have a single-colored coat, and a two-colored mane and tail
>Some individuals have wings, or a cranial horn
>Never both
>The adults all have tattooed haunches, like quarter marks
>Most buildings have roofs of hay
>You're not an architect but that seems like a bad idea
>Besides that, if the beings here really were ponies they would eat that
>You keep walking in silence until you see a large oak tree with a door on it, per Applejack's description
>After what you guess was an hour of walking you knock on the door
>The door opens, revealing a purple not-pony with a dark purple eyes, and an indigo mane and tail with rose-colored and dark purple highlights, and a cranial horn
>"Another?"
"Hi"
>"Come on in!"
>You enter the library and see the geek sitting at a book-covered table, half-eaten cupcake in hand
>Well that's anti-climactic
>He looks like a cartoon character now, like what happened to you
>"Anon!"
>Before you can respond an approximately one-meter tall bipedal purple reptile approaches you and reaches out its right claw
>"Welcome to the Golden Oak Library! My name is Spike!"
>You carefully shake the Spike's hand -er, claw
>Either Spike is warm-blooded or was just sun basking
>It's best not to make assumptions, the life here is different
>"And my name is Twilight Sparkle! Pleased to meet you!"
>Twilight Sparkle extends a hoof for you to shake
>You shake the certainly equine hoof
>"Would you like something to eat?"
"No thanks"
>Twilight Sparkle begins asking you questions about you and your world
>You try to be evasive but she knows most of the answers anyway
>Stupid talkative geek was just giving away humanity's secrets, just like that
>While you and Twilight talk the geek chimes in
>He arrived here yesterday in a creepy forest, near a hydra
>A zebra who spoke only in rhymes noticed his curiosity and directed him here, where he spent the night reading and chatting with Twilight Sparkle until he fell asleep
>Oh yeah, and a pink "pony" said she was planning a welcoming party for him, and that it would be tonight
>Just then, the front door opens, revealing an excited pink not-pony
>"Twilight! I just got off of work and- WHAT THERE'S TWO OF YOU NOW?!"
>The pink not-pony bounces about
>"Welcome to Equestria! My name is Pinkie Pie! I'll have to make this a super-duper double welcoming party! Oh this is so exciting!"
>And blah blah blah
>As Pinkie Pie speaks she zooms about, making impossible movements, even hovering in mid-air for brief periods
>Before Pinkie Pie finishes yammering she stuffs a strawberry-flavored cupcake in your mouth
>She then zooms out the door
>Whatever she came here for originally she forgot about
>In your brief time here that was the largest amount of obvious toon physics you'd seen
>A possible test subject? Hmm
>Twilight Sparkle breaks the sudden silence
>"That was Pinkie Pie, she acts that way a lot"
>You sit at the table as you, the geek, and Twilight Sparkle resume your conversation
>You ended up telling the two of them your story of what happened after entering the portal
>Which was pretty much that you met Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres and walked here
>And the conversation leads to teleportation
>Twilight Sparkle offers to demonstrate
>With a flash of light she vanishes, re-appearing on he opposite side of the room a second later
>She then disappears a second time, re-appearing where she was before she started, an unfamiliar and strange scent in the air
>You sit in silent disbelief. The geek smirks
>The conversation continues
>As you suspected, toon physics aren't toon physics here. They're simply "physics"
>And in addition, there is yet another force, which the not-ponies call "magic"
>"Magic" is commonplace here yet nearly anything the not-ponies consider unusual is the result of this "magic"
>Getting squashed flat? Normal
>Teleportation? Magic
>Levitation? Magic
>Winged flight? Magic
>Wingless hovering? Normal
>Holding items in a hoof? Normal
>Anything a wingless hornless not-pony does, no matter how absurd? Normal
>Any hypotheses you invent are shut down by Twilight Sparkle's strong beliefs about magic
>You state that you actually would like something to eat, if only to get her to leave for a bit
>Twilight Sparkle and Spike head towards the kitchen
>You use a quill pen to brainstorm some hypotheses in the margins of a book
>The geek points out how the scent from Twilight Sparkle's teleportation matched the scent from when he was pulled in
>You can't confirm, since you were screaming and thus exhaling on the way into this world
>You ramble about toon biology as you scribble in the expensive-looking book, crossing out hypotheses and drawing connections between them
>Twilight Sparkle and Spike return with a plate of hamburgers(?) before Twilight walks to the other side of the room to organize some books
>You tell the geek that these things can't be horses due to various reasons, including their cloacae
>The geek doesn't know what cloacae are
>You explain how a cloaca is a singular orifice and what it's used for
>"Uh, I don't think that's a cloaca"
>He says as he points towards Twilight Sparkle's vagina and anus
>What the-
>But Applejack has-
>Suddenly, a hypothesis
"Didn't you mention seeing a hydra when you first got to this world?"
>"Yep"
"And you were behind it?"
>"Yep"
"Did it have a cloaca?"
>"I didn't think to look, I just found out about those things now, remember?
"Well, it would be expected to have one, being a reptile"
>"Why all this about genitalia?"
"I may have found a breakthrough in your teleportation research"
>"Tell me more"
"Applejack had a cloaca and I wound up behind her. The hydra probably had a cloaca and you wound up behind it. This scent from Twilight Sparkle's teleportation, and that you said was present on your way in, may be a chemical which channels the teleportation force, merely an aspect of what the not-ponies call magic"
>"Keep going"
"Your theory that toons tap into the teleportation force via the toon force, that's what Applejack and the hydra did via their cloacae. Twilight Sparkle generates the chemical via an aspect of magic, whereas Applejack and the hydra generate it through specialized cloacal glands, since it is just a chemical"
>"That's... a theory"
>A theory you are oh-so eager to test
>Tonight at the party, you are going to find Applejack
>And you are going to sniff her cloaca