>you breathe in the fresh, clean air >the smell of pine trees all around you >no humans for miles >no ponies either >you take another deep breath >no phone >no lights >no motorcars >not a single luxury >you sigh contentedly >from somewhere nearby, a bird chirps out a short musical burst >in a far off tree on the opposite side of you, another responds >the afternoon sun is just beginning to graze the tops of the distant mountains >perfect, at this rate you should have the camp set up just in time >you're looking forward to a cool, pleasant evening after the day's long hike >sitting outside your tent by the river >enjoying a long, mellow smoke from your pipe as the golden haze turns slowly to purple and fades away >there is no pleasure on earth greater than this "Ow, fuck! Jeez, something bit me. Will you hold the shit up, Anon? I almost tripped." >you sigh heavily and stop walking >again >for like the tenth time in an hour >you turn slowly around, waiting patiently for your companion to catch up >you can see her down near the bottom of the hill >her pale coat and black, scraggly mane form a stark contrast against the warm greens and browns of the forest >you stifle a laugh >she's barely even halfway up the hill, and it looks like she somehow caught her foot in something >she's still wearing that weird horse-hoodie even though it's like 85 degrees outside >it's soaked through with sweat >you stand there, waiting with your arms folded as she struggles to free herself >she begins to fumble her way up the hill >she trips on at least five things on her way up >you sigh and glance impatiently at the sun >HOPEFULLY you can get the camp up by sundown >meanwhile, the little cream and black pony is still huffing and puffing up the mild slope of the hill >her cursing and grumbling has probably scared off all the wildlife for miles >at least you won't have to worry about bears >finally she makes it up to the top >her hoodie is completely soaked through with sweat >she's panting "Oh...oh god...you...this...Anon..." >you stand patiently watching her while she wheezes incoherently "Little warm out for that hoodie, isn't it?" you say pleasantly >she glares up at you >her eyes, or at least what you can see of them through the matted strands of her mane, have a manic cast to them "Yeah, no shit it's warm!" she sputters. "Why did we have to do this, anyway? You know I hate camping...and...walking...and...OH GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!?" >she points at a nearby rock, her foreleg stretched out and shaking >she looks like a deranged mental patient >you glance at where she's pointing and glance back >you raise an inquisitive eyebrow at her "It's a praying mantis. You can't possibly not have seen one before?" >the creature in question crawls slowly off into the surrounding foliage >Floor glares at you "Yeah, well..." >she trails off, mumbling angrily >you glance impatiently at the sun again "Come on, we're almost there. We need to get the camp set up before the sun goes down. You can cool off in the river." >you begin walking >the ground is more level now, hopefully Floor can manage from here >she trots grumpily alongside you, swatting at flies with her greasy tail "Why did we have to go camping, anyway? You know I hate stuff like this." >you glance down at her >you're pretty used to her neet shit by now, but she's starting to get on your nerves "This is the only time this summer I could get a whole week off from work." "Yeah, I know, but, did we have to come out HERE? With all the flies and stuff? Why can't we just stay home and watch anime?" "You do literally nothing but sit around watching anime. Did it kill you to go outside for once?" "I...I died a little inside, yeah!" she snaps >you're starting to get mad >you were looking forward to this trip for awhile, but once again you underestimated what a pain in the ass Floor could be >you're not sure if you can take a whole week of listening to her whine about mosquitoes "Well, I'm real sorry, Floor. I thought it would be nice to get out in nature for a few days, but fuck it. Let's just drive all the way back home, and do whatever you want to do for a whole week. Sit around and watch Naruto or whatever the bloody hell." "Oh, shut up, you asshole! I hate Naruto! And I came with you, didn't I?" >you glance up at the sky in irritation >the sun is starting to dip below the mountains, and you're not even at the campsite yet >your "perfect pipe at sunset" plan is going down the drain faster than the shower water finally started doing once you removed the giant black hairball of Floor's that had been clogging it >how does a pony who showers so little manage to clog the shower drain so often, anyway? "If you hadn't come, I'd probably have the tent set up and a fire going by now. Why DID you come, if you were just going to gripe like this all week?" "BECAUSE I'M IN--" >she snaps her mouth shut suddenly, and clamps her hooves over it >she turns a deep red >you look down at her, raising a quizzical eyebrow >she looks at the ground >of course you know what she's talking about >you can smell it >the whole forest can probably smell it >maybe you'll have to worry about bears after all >you were trying to be polite about it, but the passenger seat of your truck is basically ruined now >you had no problem with it though, this was part of why you thought this trip was a good idea >to put it bluntly, you had been intending to pound her until the break of dawn tonight >but now... >she looks up at you, and suddenly there's a weird gleam of lust in her eye >like she wants you to just do it to her right now in the middle of a fight >it somehow both disgusts and arouses you >but mostly it makes you even angrier "Oh, piss off, Floor!" you suddenly snap at her. >she recoils in surprise at the volume of your voice >a flock of birds takes off from some distant part of the forest and flutters noisily away >but you continue shouting "Just go home, you smelly weirdo. In fact, you know what? Don't even bother going home, just go away!" >she looks like she's about to either start crying or start masturbating >maybe both >you wish that didn't turn you on >God, you're almost as degenerate as she is "W...where am I supposed to go...?!?" she sputters indignantly "I don't know. My 8 year old cousin keeps saying she wishes she had a pony, and she likes to watch cartoons all day. You two would get along famously. Maybe you can go live with her, and do absolutely fuck-all day in and day out, and eat all the food in her family's house for a while!" >Floor looks genuinely hurt >you realize you probably overdid it a little there >but before you can apologize, she begins to cry "Fine! Fuck you then, Anon!" >she leaps to her hooves and starts running >she's running ahead of you, towards the campsite you notice >a little trailing ribbon of thick viscous liquid is dangling between her legs >it catches a glint of the sunlight as she goes tearing off through the woods >unfortunately, she doesn't get very far >you hear a loud yelp and a crash, followed by lots of swearing >you walk a little further ahead >no need to run; she didn't get very far >the sight of her is so funny your anger dissipates on the spot >she somehow managed to fall halfway off the trail into a ditch >her front hooves got wedged in between a couple of tree roots >she's basically pinned to the ground, with her ass sticking up in the air >as soon as you see her you burst out laughing >she whips her head around and glares at you >there are tears in her eyes >she still looks pretty mad "It's not funny, Anon!" >she struggles, trying to yank her front legs out of the ditch >she doesn't have enough leverage to pull herself out >her back legs skid against the trail, kicking up dust >as she moves, the light catches the moisture dripping between her legs again >you feel a slight twinge in your pants "All right, all right," you laugh, approaching her. "Hold still, you're making it worse." "Just get me out! Please, Anon..." >there's a note of panic in her voice >you put your hands on her flanks, and get yourself ready to pull >something stops you >maybe it's the smell >you glance downward >it's winking at you >you pause with your hands on her flanks "What are you doing, Anon?!? Pull me out!" >you say nothing, but you give her flanks a squeeze >she's beginning to redden again "Jeez, are you serious?" she mutters >but her legs are beginning to shake "Stop being tsundere, bitch, you know you love it." >your use of weeb-speak causes her loins to quiver >you caress and squeeze her ample plot >she groans involuntarily "C-come on, Anon! Get me out of here first...we can...go get the tent...AH...set up..." >you move a hand down into her nether regions >the heat coming off of her would cook a hot pocket "No, I think I like you just like this for now..." you say as you begin to tease around the outside >she yanks her front legs weakly, trying to free herself "Come on-AHH!! Let me go! I'll...I'll scream..." >that makes you laugh "Who's going to hear you? The friggin' trees? Besides, I've seen your hentai folder. Tell me you're not into this." >she turns beet red but she says nothing >her quivering legs and the piping-hot ooze dripping from her is all the answer you need >you begin to lightly massage her crotch >a low groan escapes her >she mumbles something unintelligible in the language of the damned >the viscous substance oozing from that horsep*ss is soaking your hand now >you know her body well enough to tell when she's getting close "...ohgodfuckmenow..." she mumbles >you grin >*unzips dick* >then you pause >she whips her head around >the frantic look in her eyes is priceless "What are you waiting for?!?" she practically screams >you grin wider >*rezips dick* "What the--" >you step away, making a big show of looking at the sky "That sun really is starting to go down..." you murmur, as if to yourself "What?!?" >you shrug, and begin walking away "I'm going to go get the tent set up real quick. I'll be right back." "WHAT THE--?!? GET BACK HERE!!" >you look over your shoulder >she is frantically trying to yank her forelegs free from the tree root "Don't go anywhere!" you call out >she gives you a crazed look and shouts something you can't understand >it was probably about Naruto or something >silly little neet pony ---- >the evening sun has dipped below the mountains, illuminating their silhouette in a thick golden haze >the river gurgles pleasantly a short distance away >behind you, the tent fabric ripples idly in the light breeze >cicadas hum >nearby, the first firefly of the night flickers tentatively, followed by another >you sit in your folding chair >the gradually cooling air feels good against the day's sweat >lazily, you fill your pipe and strike a match >the guy at the shop was right >this blend is smooth >smooth and mellow >you hear a grunting, struggling sound from somewhere behind you >you cast a glance over your shoulder >in the fading light you can still see Floor, struggling to free her hooves >in between struggles, she groans softly >bucking her hips frantically up and down >you smile >you should probably go pull her out >you take another drag off your pipe, listening to the cicadas hum >you blow a lazy cloud of smoke across the river >in a minute >you'll go get her in a minute >God it's peaceful out here ~Fin~