>You really ought to thank Twilight for these special shoes, else you wouldn’t be able to be in the Mile High Club with Rainbow Dash. 
>Speaking of the mare where did she go?
>Scanning the bar for the unique mane of colors you fail to find her amongst the many ponies dancing around to the heavy beat of the club.
>Humming you sit down on the bar stool and frown, did she just ditch you?
>You swear if she did just to get some dick you’re so going to prank her back for it. 
>She /is/ kinda your ride to anywhere in Cloudsdale anyway.
>A clink of glass nearby draws your attention from the bar mare.
“I didn’t order this?”
>”It’s fine cutie, it’s actually from the mare down the bar there.”
>Following the direction the bar mare points at with her wing you soon find your patron, a mint green mare with two toned blond hair at catching her gaze she winks at you while licking her lips.
>...Damn 
>Taking the glass you lift it up ideally noting that it’s one of those fritzy umbrella drinks that bubbles, you raise it to the mare and toast her before downing the whole thing in one go.
>As you set the glass back down you keep your eyes locked on the mare noting with glee how wide her eyes had gotten before a smirk crosses her face.
>At that point the drink actually starts to hit you, less of a punch to the face and more of a stiff breeze.
>You feel a bit floaty to be honest.
>Shaking it off you thank the bartender and start to walk over to the mare with an easy grin.
>It’s only when you take a couple of steps do you find you’re almost bouncing to your target, not a metaphorical saying, but you’re actually bouncing.
>The fuck was in that drink?
>Whatever you got pussy to hunt down.


>As you walk up your patron nods to you still holding that smirk before patting the barstool next to her, “Care for a seat hot stuff?”
“Sure, so you wanted some company?”
>Taking your seat you watch as the mare waves down another couple of drinks for you both before she answers, “Wouldn’t mind it, name’s Lightning Dust, and you?”
“Anon, thanks for the drink, but if your wanting me drunk you better bring out the better stuff, I can down those umbrella drinks like they were water.”
>”Their mostly fruit juice so I could imagine, tell you what next round I’ll have her break out the really good stuff.”
>You snort at that taking the offered drink once it arrives.
“The day you ponies manage to make something that knocks me on my butt is the day I go into a herd.”
>”So you’re single then?” Lightning asks with a ghost of a smile sipping her own drink, some small thing on the rocks.
“Mmhm, though I know a few friends who’d want me to just take the plunge with them, but I don’t really like the whole herding thing, feels shallow you know?”
>At the word “shallow” you just catch a subtle flinch in Lightning’s wings. A soft twitch that you remember Rainbow does she gets caught, usually in your underwear drawer.


>”Ah, so I don’t suppose you’d be interested in some coffee later?”
>Raising an eyebrow at the forward mare you give her a better look, fluffy chest tuft, cuddly wings, some lip nibbling in worry and she’s staring hard at her drink.
>Reaching over you simply scratch behind her ears making them perk up in alarm.
“I wouldn’t mind a bit, had an idea of when ‘later’ might be?”
>Put on the spot you draw back as Lightning blinks her eyes rapidly trying to catch up before she suddenly downs her drink in one go before looking you in the eye, “You for real?”
“Yep.”
>At the simple yes you watch as her grin grows across her face as she stands up and starts to hover in place using her foreleg to tug on your arm, “Then let’s go I have a pl-”
>You interrupt her by simply grabbing onto her foreleg and simply pull her back into your chest.
>There is a wumpf of displaced air and your lap is filled with pegasus.
>”Hey! I thought you sai-”
>A simple boop to the nose makes her stop for a moment as you wave down the bartender.
“You still owe me that drink of the good stuff remember?”
>You can feel the glare leveled at you from below before Lightning wiggles in place trying to squirm free, “At least let me go you giant!”
“Aw, are you embarrassed? Thought having a stallion as a seat was what big teated mares do.”
>Chuckling you simply adjust your grip on the mare keeping her in your lap, that is before you feel her tilt her head upwards and oh jeez that’s tongue!
>Shivering from the lick on your neck you loosen your grip on Lightning, giggling the mare slips away.
“Ah, well someone’s feeling frisky.” 
>”Oh I’ve got more where that came from handsome.” Lightning answers you with a lidded eyes before she waves down the bartender, “I need two shots of the Yakistan special.”


The bartender blanches at the request, “You want /two/? Are you sure you can handle it?”
>”One’s for my tall friend here.”
>After glancing towards you the bartender frowns before stage whispering to Lightning, “Are you sure he can handle that much?”
“He is right here and can hear you quite well, just get me the drink miss.”
>With a startled meep the bartender is off on her way while Lightning chuckles to herself, “That was mean.”
>You simply shrug in response.
“I get that you’re cultural norms are different, but god is it annoying.”
>”Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with a mare being there for her colt, besides it’s nice to be the wind under their wings you know?”
>That’s rather poetic...
“That’s one hell of a euphemism for having sex if I ever heard one.”
>So of course you have to ruin it, the red flush across Lightning's face is rather cute.
>”I thought it was the mares that were randy, you just have sex on the brain don’t you?”
“Call it a occupational hazard of my race, so what do you do for a living?”
>Tracing a hoof on the countertop Lightning gives a small snort of laughter before thrusting her tuft out, “Well I happen to be a Wonderbolt trainee, almost graduated to the reserves even.” 
>Ideally polishing her wing on her tuft Lightning nods, “Yep before too long you’re probably going to see one of the future leader of the Wonderbolts, no doubt!”
“Those are the fliers who do all those fancy flight tricks right?”
>Lightning nods, “Of course, only the best of the best get in there and manage to make the cut.”
“Funny thing about that, I have a friend who's in the reserves as well.”
>”Whoa, no way. Who is it? I might actually know them.” Lightning asks, you can see a small spark hidden away in her eyes.


>If her tone was different you’d think she was, jealous.
>Before you can answer your drinks arrive in two small shot glasses.
>Inside is a pale off white colored drink that almost looks creamy.
>Blinking at the drink you watch as Lightning sniffs it first before her face reels from it, “Yep that’s the authetic stuff right here.”
>Taking a glass you raise it up to sniff as well.
>!
>Choking you gag as it feels like your nose hairs were just burned off from the alcohol content, there was also an undercurrent of milk as well.
>”Alright colt you asked for this bottoms up!” Lightning offers your shot in a toast which you complete with a subtle clink in the club.
>You both down the shot at the same time and are almost kicked out of your seat from the taste.
>Sweet Jesus on Baby Back Ribs!
>It almost reminds you of vodka with its strength, but it’s blunted instead of sharp by the milk. 
>And so damn thick!
>It’s more like cream than a milk!
>Instead of being stabbed in the back alleys you’re sense of taste is simply being bludgeoned instead.
>Still as it slowly burns down your throat your eyes water and you both clink the glasses down on the counter with another clink.
>”Phew! Get’s me everytime!” Lightning cheers out as she giggles again a faint hint of red across her face.
“No kidding, that almost reminds me of home.”
>”I would hope so it is milk after all.”
>Even as the world seems to tilt a bit you simply quirk your head at Lightning.


“What you mean by that, and why milk of all things?”
>At the question Lightning force in place before sucking her lip in thought, “Well, I forgot you’ve never had it, but it’s kinda eh in it’s production method.”
“Please as long as it’s not the testicales of a bull I’ll be fine.”
>Lightning stares at you in horror, “Why would anyone eat that!?”
>Holding your hands up in surrender you simply reply, “I don’t know, blame other people, so just spit it out.”
>Still looking green around the gills Lightning simply shakes herself before explaining, “Well the yaks have always been avid drinkers, so have their mares too, so with all the drinking and rutting that goes on up there you sometimes get some mares that wind up dripping milk that’s been laced with all the mead they drink. Some yak up there got the idea to bottle it up and sell it at a premium saying it was the finest beverage Yakistan has ever produced. It’s like three fourths booze mixed in with milk that Yaks give off.”
“...Huh, guess lactation is a big fetish up there.” 
>That comment earns you a jab at the arm, “Oh my Celestia that’s awful.” Despite her words you can see the smile on her face.
“I can’t help it when people give me an opening that wide, it’d be criminal not to.”


>Smiling you stretch for a moment before Lightning checks the clock on the wall, “Hey it’s getting a little late, you wanna head back to my room then?”
“Mm, I’d love to, but one sec, gotta tell my ride where I’m going.”
>Lightning tilts her head at you, “I thought you said you were single?”
“Oh I am, I just don’t have wings so not like I can get up here by myself.”
>”O-oh, well…” Seeing the blush on the mare's face quickly tips you off that something is not as it seems here.
“Wait a second, is the whole riding thing a culture thing? Did I do something wrong?”
>”No!” The loud cry draws a few eyes before Lightning clears her throat, “I mean, no it’s just a dumb old superstition I mean…”
“Well I’d love to hear, those are always fun to listen to.”
>Lightning’s wings twitch again before she nods, “Well, the way it goes is that when Earth Ponies and Pegasi first got together there would be a part of their wedding ceremony that involved the Pegasi to fly their betrothed to their home if the non flier was marrying into the family. A sort of-” At this point she wiggles her hooves in a so-so motion. “Bringing them home to the family.”
“So it’s like a thing you only do for your special people then?”
>”Yeah! That’s it exactly, though that was a long time ago and it’s not really all that important, I mean the mare still carries their husband over the threshold regardless of the race.”
“Huh, we have something like that back home. Didn’t take you to be so interested in history though.”
>A small blush ghosts over Lightning’s face, “Haha, about that…”
“Yeah?”
>”You ever read those Daring Doo novels?”
>That’s the rip off of Indiana Jones wasn’t it?
>Yeah that’s it Twilight was sperging about what so and so had done in this and that book.
“I know of it, why?”
>”When I was little I had a really big thing for being an Archaeologist like Daring Doo, I mean I started out at school devouring everything I could about being one with all the action and the thrill!”
“Then you found out that it involved a lot of studying huh?”
>The scrunch is real as the mare glares at you, “I knew that, I never really found anyone willing to take me out with them on digs, not enough opportunities you know?”
“Well that sucks to hear.”
>Lightning simply sighs, “Yeah not to mention all those books cost bits after all, so I figured with all the prestige and money that Wonderbolts make I could definitely finance some of my research or at least read about stuff other ponies had done.”
>Seeing the disappointment in the mare’s face you reach over and simply scratch her head.
>Lightnings ears perk up like a turkey timer, if there was a sound effect you could bet there would have been a ding to accompany it.
“Hey at least you're still working towards your goal, don’t give up on it. Now le-”
>”Anon! There you are, where’d yo- Oh. Lightning.” With a gust of wind you turn to find none other than your friend Rainbow hovering nearby.
>Though from the way her brow is furrowed and the tight frown across Rainbow’s face you’d think you’d done something wrong.
>Under your hand you can feel the muscles in Lightning tense up and her feathers puff up, “Rainbow.”
>Oh there is some tension here, you can just taste it.
>It also tastes like milky alcohol so it might be the booze.
>The two glare at one another before Rainbow breaks away first to look at you with a peppy smile, “Come on Anon! We gotta cut a rug in that dance floor, show these ponies how to really throw down!”
>”I’m sorry, but Anon and I were already planning to do something.” Lightning pipes up glare still on Rainbow.
>”Pfft, right. Listen Anon she’s not really all that safe you know?” Rainbow says to you tugging on your arm.
“I take it you two know each other?”
>Rolling her eyes Lightning shoves herself off the bar stool and hovers eye level with Rainbow, “You could say that, this bitch went and took my spot on the team.”
>”Hey, not my fault you couldn’t learn to be a team player, and you nearly wrecked my friends with that stunt of yours!” Rainbow snaps back your arm already forgotten as she puffs her tuft up.
>Lightning flaps her wings again gaining some height that Rainbow matches, “Please if they had actually followed the proper flight path they wouldn’t have gotten hit, they should have known better.”
>As the two continue to bicker you try to figure out if they need to fight it out or fuck each other…
>Wait, the display of tuft, the small chirps you can hear under their breath and the way they both are trying to keep eye level with each other.
>You let out a groan as you stand in the middle of a pissing contest.
>”See Anon doesn’t even want to hang out with you.” Rainbow shoots back with venom.
>At seeing the hurt look on Lightning’s face you simply reach over and pinch Rainbow’s ear.
>”Ow! Hey lemme go!”
>”Ha! Not so sur- Owie!”
>Grumbling under your breath you drag both mares by their ear out the club door into a small alley way.


>Letting them go you watch as they hover up to eye level with you.
>”What was the big idea for that?!” Rainbow shouts rubbing her ear with a hoof.
>”That really hurt Anon…” Lightning grumbles letting her ear flick to and fro after checking on it herself.
“Look, the both of you need to chill out. I don’t know what Lightning did-”
>”She nearly got all our friends killed by showing off!” Rainbow interjects in a flash magenta eyes flashing dangerously, “How can I not have a problem with that?!”
>”And I told you th-”
CLAP
>Both mares turn towards you, the sound of your hands still echoing in the small alley.
>Time for you to activate your secret weapon.
>STAND: COLT WHIMSY, ANON REVISION!
“Alright, I’m pretty damn miffed with you both.”
>Pointing at Rainbow you continue, “I was this close, this close to taking that mint horse over there and bending her over the bed and seeding that womb till it gushed.”
>The startled neigh from behind you draws your attention back to Lightning whose face is blushing brightly.
“And as for you, you’re in trouble for getting more invested in some argument that sounds like it came from way back when. That being said, I’ll live with the blue balls for now and play peace maker between the two of you. That is if you’re both willing to man up and actually talk like adults instead of children!”
>By the end of your rant you find both ponies had come to the ground both refusing to meet your gaze.
“So please, if I could finish talking?”