Wrote this thing at 8 AM while unable to sleep, don't expect quality.

>be equestria
>happily, all your ponies and critters are all unicellular
>assorted blobs shaped like ponies, bunnies, etc
>plants? multicellular, but plants are fancy expensive creations, couldn't work as unicellulars here
>the passive magic metabolism of every cell feeds back to the magical gestalt
>be chill for millenia as nothing of note happens
>be being as beings can be
>suddenly feel an extreme magic drain followed by an equally massive influx of magic
>feels like equestria went barren for a sec, then got filled with a million elements of harmony beams at once
>all of nature noticed, they felt the sudden emptiness followed by excess energy
>
>be anon
>wake up in some lush plains
>you simultaneously feel sore in every muscle, bone, sinew and nerve, but also feel better than ever what the fuck
>stand up
>"hello?" you ask
>you hear a reply behind you
>you turn, nothing is there
>huh? "anyone there?"
>you hear a chorus answer back
" H E L L O "
>FUCK your head it stings, but there's nobody here?
>you spend the next hour talking with this formless chorus
>eventually make the connection that the chorus is you
>wat
>did you suddenly get ultra schizophrenia
>you realize you're hyperaware of the position of every single bit of your body
>cosmic horror beyond your comprehension? YEP, you don't get it, you were never up for smartitude
>start walking around, silently talking with yourself
>find a town with small ponies
>they talk somehow
>a group lead by a purple one shoots you with some weird rainbow beam
>man, if you felt any better it'd be like walking orgasms or some shit
>the tiny horses freak out
>sit down and try to talk
>
>be smart and purple, t to the w l i g h t, book nerd made of sparkle and smartitude
>oh Celestia it resisted the elements, or consumed the energy? oh buck oh buck
>it's gonna ea- it sat down?
>it starts talking in a weirdly echoy voice
>you feel invigorated just by standing near it, it's like a walking leyline
>several hours pass and you make amends, seems he(?) is called anon
>can't be a he, right? no single being could passively recirculate that much magic, except maybe the tree of harmony
>is he a tree? "hey fluttershy, is this guy a tree?"
>she says no
>
>several weeks pass, anon has been hired to meander about in the local factory, his mere presence is enough to power the machinery and reinvigorate the workers
>you came by to visit
>a woodcutting saw cracks and shoots some fast moving shards his way
>he dodges instinctively and only gets a mild cut on his cheek
>phew that was close, but- why isn't he closing the cut?
>you inquire with the creature
>he tells you it takes a while for the cells(?) to close a wound, also something about my toe kondria or similar
>cells? plural?
>you hand him a hoofkerchief and covertly dap another one in that strange red fluid
>say goodbye and tell him to go to the doctor if the cut was too bad
>plural... Only plants have multiple cells
>you go to the botanic microscope and put the dyed hoofkerchief under it
>you see thousands, if not millions of tiny ones, walking about
>luna, please protect me from this knowledge 
>
>after a few weeks of study, you have come to confirm that Anon is indeed multicellular, like a tree. But so much more detailed
>it's not that he's particularly good at recirculsting ambient magic, it's that he has trillions of himself doing it at the same time
>try to communicate with the individual cells
>they barely respond to basic stimuli, they look lost and disheartened when disconnected
>they start working again the moment you put them near or on Anon
>you make it your mission to befriend this alien colony
>
>be a bipedal hivemind with a purple butt companion
>this purple mare has been chatting you up for a while
>she's nice, you like her
>"you know, twilight, I'd call you my vvery first friend here, thanks for always being here."
>she freezes in shock
>a counter appears in front of her horn and it rapidly climbs from 9 to well over the trillions
>she bends down in what seems to be agony
>"OH FUCK TWIGGLES ARE YOU OK?"
>she gives a quiet moan of approval as extraneous magics fill her body
>a pair of wings suddenly form from her back
>her horn grows a lot, and she gets way taller too
>she calms down and loses her balance after this sudden shift
>turns out being your friend counts as being friends with an entire planet's worth of people, making her the most harmonious and friended pony in history
>ok then, what now?
>
>you were never into horses, so you're pretty much eternally single
>meander about the world without a care, your visit being treated as a beneficial natural event
>make your way to the far norths
>find a derelict research station with a weird tentacly pony living within
>she seems chill
>hang around for a while
>start catching feelings for the thingpony
>neither of you talk, but you can communicate all the same
>hivemind telepathy? maybe
>maybe you ARE into horses a bit, or at least this one
>ask her out, she agrees
>take her back to ponyville
>twiggles is genuinely horrified at a cosmic horror beyond compare in the shape of thingmare
>she does a quintuple take when you tell her the thingmare is your girlfriend
>live the rest of your days just hanging around and doting on your thingwife, your unique multicellular biologies allowing you engage in ways the normal ponies cannot
>life is good for a hivemind