>>43291591
>Be Anon
>Your legs hurt, your back hurts, you've been standing in the middle of this private audience chamber for hours
>Royal guards flank you on either side, high standing unicorn nobles watch from the sidelines
>In front of you, Sun Butt is levitating what's left of an exhausting stack of papers
>One sheet splits off and drifts delicately down to join the pile sitting on the floor next to her cushioned seat
>She lets out a thoughtful hum as she observes the last point in your sordid history of memefuckery
>"Mister Anonymous... it says here that you were inquiring with another user as to whether..."
>Celestia's mane billows calmly, in contrast to the regal frown forming upon her face
>Ugh, fuck, what did you say this time? You can barely concentrate with how long this has been going on
>"As to whether... it were acceptable to... kill young fillies."
>You suddenly get a sharp look from the white alicorn
>There are murmurs around you from the attending inner circles
>Even the stallions standing guard next to you exchange a glance
>Ah, okay, in hindsight that doesn't sound good
>It really doesn't sound good, when she puts it like that
"Uh- your majesty- that- that was just hypothetical. There was a discussion regarding the killing of mares and-"
>Shocked and alarmed whispers echo around the marble chamber
>Your blood seriously goes cold, you're sweating now-
"-It's not what it sounds like! There was this guy, another anon, he said if a mare ever rejected him, he'd-"
>Celestia stops you and hushes the gathering with a gesture of her wings
>"Ah yes... him... Mister Anonymous, please calm yourself and understand, this hearing is about you, not the statements of your compatriots. Try to remain focused."
>You swallow
>This is the last hurdle, just explain it like it is
"I... I was just asking!"
>"You were... just asking? As to whether you should or should not harm innocent ponies?"
"Look your majesty you- you gotta understand the context! I was joking around-"
>"Joking around?"
"I love ponies, okay! I've always wanted to be here, but back on Earth it seemed like an impossibility. I know it's wrong to hurt fillies, Princess, I know, okay?"
>There's a certain hotness in your chest, a desperation to set what should have been a harmless comment straight
>You can't go back, not now, not when you've finally made it
>Sun Butt's expression has softened
>She's waiting for you to continue
>Take a breath
"Anon was... making a plain statement not to kill mares. Mares specifically, not ponies in general, or fillies or stallions. So I asked him for clarity as to whether that statement included fillies."
>"I see. As a matter of rhetoric."
>The last sheet of paper silently descends and settles with the rest of your linguistic sins
>"Believe it or not, Anon, over the years I have begun to develop an understanding of how your kind engages with one another. I trust that now that you are here, you will find more thoughtful ways of expressing yourself..."

"Y-Yes Princess."
>Is... is that it?
>Another murmur passes around the room, softer this time
>Celestia is standing up, the complete bulk of your record immersed in the field of her magic, rising up to accompany her
>"Guards, please take Mister Anonymous back to his room for the time being. I will arrange a trip to Ponyville, under supervision..."
>She looks at you, more kindly than you would have expected
>The royal guards next to you salute, hooves clanking against their helmets as Sun Butt begins to move to exit via a side door
>Haha! You passed! You hunch up and do a little fist pump, whispering under your breath
"Yes! Yes yes yes..."
>A careful nudge pulls you out of your celebration, both guards are looking at you as the other atendees filter out, many still bearing concerned looks
>Can't really blame them, especially if... wait, Celly knows
>About all of you
>Or... some of you, at least?
>"Sir?"
"Oh, sorry. Uh, let's go."
>Worry about it later
>With a spring in your step, you follow the guardponies out, the hallways of Canterlot Castle feeling bright and open
>It was close, but... as long as you don't mess it up from here, you should be good
>Just don't say anything stupid or weird
>Easy!
>Equestria baby!