Since my story, which can be found on Fimfiction (https://www.fimfiction.net/story/590995/harmony-burgers-are-ponies), got an editor, the first four chapters have seen a massive rewrite.
So I am posting the original version of the first four chapters here, for sake of posterity and record keeping.
While the version found on Fimfiction is the superior one, without a doubt, I can easily imagine someone being curious about the original 4 chapters. If that's you, then this ponepaste if for you.

!highlight!Chapter 1 - Signing a contract to become livestock

Fuck my throat hurts. "Eeesh.. hai.." I try to speak. Nope. That's not happening.
 "That's fine Ash, we knew that could happen. Are you ready?"
 I feebly raise a thumbs-up, and give a wink to the camera. Damn, I'm weaker than I thought I'd be. But hey, this was the plan. Can't change it now.

The small horse-creature that have become one of my best friends in these past couple weeks, carefully reposition himself, carefully aiming his long cock in towards my face. It slaps me in my eye, then rests on my nose, I strain to raise my arms. I make it, and start stoking his long shaft.
 It's an awkward angle, but it's the only way to make this work.
 After a bit of stroking, I start licking.

Damn, he's already leaking precum. It tastes so good. I suck his thick flat cockhead into my mouth, and do my best to get him going, speaking of getting going. I look toward the much smaller pink fuzzball to the side of the bed. I grunt. She takes the hint, reaches in, and starts licking my dick.
 I wish I could have returned the favor, but not in my current predicament. I got a cock to concentrate on.

The big guy starts moaning. Well, that was faster than expected. But that's fine.
 "ok. Now, Happy. "
 Happy, the pink fuzzball, lets go of my cock, and helps my friend into position for the next stage of the plan.
 I lean my head back as far as it goes, open wide. I take a deep breath in, knowing it will be my last.

And in he comes. The head goes right in, and bumps the back of my throat. This is the difficult part. But we tested it earlier. He fits, if barely.
 The pressure keeps going.. going.. aaaand ooof! He's inn. I already feel chocked.
 Well, I am literally inhaling a dick, no wonder.
 More shaft if moving in. I feel a sharp pain in my throat. Just like in the test, he is penetrating my vocal cords. I guess he passed it? I donno. I think he's all in me now. This is it. My final moments.

I feel Happy is back at my cock, and.. uh.. wow. she really.. fuck.. I'm starting to get tunnel vision.. And I'm getting what might be my best blowjob ever.

"AAAAH!"

I barely heard his orgasmic scream, felt it more like. My tongue feels the liquids rushing though the shaft in my mouth, probably filling my lungs right now. [i]CLACK ..thump.[/i] What was that? uh. He just went limp. That must have been the guillotine. All accor... uh what was I.. fuck.. no. FOCUS. Right. He wanted me to bite it off if I could.  uh.. I close my jaw as hard I can. I can't tell if my mouth even twitched. This is it. I'm going. I think I've just gone blind. I can't think.. I.. uh... I think I'm cumming? I don't know. I fell.. something.. Damn. Everything just gets...
 A final thought goes though my head as the void takes me.

Here's to my new life as a meat-pony.
[hr]
Two weeks earlier:

I stare at the contract. It’s thick and full of legalese. It would not be out of place as a murder weapon in a crime drama. Ok, maybe not that hard.. well, if it had a hardcover, maybe? ...

"You have been staring at that page for five minutes"

A lady sits on the other side of the table. She had introduced herself, but I have already forgotten her name.

“So.. you’re gonna kill me?”, I break the silence, my finger at the applicant procedure list.

“yes. Then we put your mind into a fresh worker body.” The lady explains

“Yes. Uh… And this worker body is a.. a quadruped? What even is that?” This is the weirdest job interview I have ever been on. Normally they just explain their corporate structure, what they do, then ask questions I already answered in my resume, then say they will call my back, then promptly ghost me. Not this place. Here I'm asked if I'm willing to become livestock.

“Quite so." She responds, sipping a glass of water. "It will all make sense. Later”

“And it says here that once I sign on, I can’t ever leave. What kind of job is this?”

“The kind of job only someone like you can accept, Ash.” the lady explains plainly.

“What? What do you mean someone like me?” She speaks as if she knows me.

"We monitor every potential candidate closely. Very closely. Please trust us. This is exactly the kind of job you want."

Well, now that's creepy. I fumble with the chair controls. My liver aches again. I need to shift my sitting. Dammit. Now my stupid insulin pump is getting in the way. Fuck my life.

"Ok.. I can see that made you nervous. I'm sorry about that."

"How do you even know me?" I need answers.

"You were referred to us by an old friend of yours, Bill is his name."

That's a name I haven't heard in a while. But..

"Was." I correct her "He died five years ago. How did you know Bill?"

"Yes, yes. You probably don't remember me, but I was there, at his funeral. But I can assure you, he's not dead."

She was there? Well, a lot of people were. I'm faceblind, so even if, I couldn't tell. But regardless. Bill is dead. He was attending an experimental treatment for his ALS. There was a gas-leak, an explosion at the building. sixteen people died.

"No. I saw his remains. He's dead.", I insist. His family were off on vacation in America, so I was his only remaining emergency contact. I had to identify his body. There's no way he's alive.

"If you sign the NDA in the contract, I can explain. It's on page 13." She smirks

"I already signed the NDA in the lobby. It was five pages long." In truth, I had skimmed it.

"That was just the document to allow you inside our doors, so to speak. I suppose I should remind you that the contract you are holding right now is defined as confidential by that NDA. Page 13, on the other hand, allows us to discuss some of our deeper secrets."

Well. I suppose one more NDA can't hurt. All it commits me to, is silence.
 I quickly read though it, taking care not to just skim it. Even reading as fast as I could, it took a good ten minutes. Meanwhile, the lady had silently left me to read in peace, and were having a quiet conversation on her phone.

"I'm done", I say aloud to get her attention. I sign the agreement as she walks back.

"Good. I'm putting you on speakerphone." what?

"On speakerphone? With whom?"

There is a short pause, then a voice

"Hey Ash. You cough 'em all yet?" asks the man on the phone, with a slight crackling static

"Who.. who's this?" I ask.

Another pause.

"I know my voice sounds a bit different. But come on, you know who I am." voice continues

"Ok. So you got someone to pretend to be Bill on the phone. Is this some kind of joke?"

"I can assure you tha.." The lady starts

"No, this is quite real. Oh, sorry Sarah. I can.. Well. I hate this lag. Can't I just come though and do this in person?"

"From where you live, with Equestrian transit? No, we can't wait that lo.."

"Or, you could send him though the portal. Just saying" The voice interrupts... Sarah. That was her name.

"Uh. Sorry, do you need a moment, or.." I ask, confused on what is happening

"Sorry, Ash. We should have planned this better. Bill insisted he needed to be on-call to help convince you. But we forgot to consider the signal lag. And Bill, I can't send Ash though until he signs the contract in full. I'm sorry to you both, but this will have to do."

"Uh.. ok. ok. umm.. How can I.." I begin

"I understand, we ca.. .. dammit. Let's just do radio protocol, ok, over?" The voice, 'Bill', suggests, interrupting me.

"Fine. Let's say you are Bill. Tell me. What were the color of the chairs in the waiting room? uhh.. over"

"They were red." The voice returns with a laugh. "And you can't convince me otherwise." he continues in a flat tone.

In truth, the chairs were green. But Bill suffers red-green colorblindness. This became a bit of a internal joke.

"uhmm.. over" He finish, after an awkward silence.

"Ok. At least if you're fake, you're a good and well researched fake. Now, can you please explain the time lag? Are you in space? um.. over?"

"Not quite so, Ash. Damn, you haven't explained this yet, Sarah? over"

"Uh? I suppose it slipped my mind. Ash, Bill here resides on the other side of a magical portal, in a different world known by the locals as 'Equestria'. This is also where you will be working. Well, not in Bill's village, obviously."

"Obviously... So where will I work, then?"

"Do you wanna explain, Bill?"

"Sure. Harmony Corp has a large complex on this side of the portal. We call it the Earth Embassy. Although some call it the Earth Brothel, for oblivious reasons. Over."

"I think I'm missing some context here. Why is it a brothel, over?"

"Becouse the locals have a shortage of men, and since most of our volunteers are male, one thing led to another, and already by the time I joined, selling our time in bed to the local mares were already a well established side-business. The locals are as horny as we are, it turns out. Over"

"Wait.. mares? So our job is to whore ourselves out to female horses?"

"Eh.. I guess we jumped a bit ahead. I don't know how much Sarah have told you yet.
 But let's start with this. You know those Harmony burgers? Yeah, they're us. Well, not humans.
 I'm not sure you've been told this yet, but I'm not human anymore. I'm a pony now.

That's what Harmony does. They turn you into a pony, and slaughter you for meat.
 Then th.. Uh sorry. One of my wives overheard me. She gets queasy when we mention .. well, that.
 Wait a bit, I'll call back from my workshop, it has sound dampening." the call ends.

"Wait.. did he say wives? As in plural? Damn. How lucky can one guy get?"

"Yes, from one perspective, at least. Equestrian culture is a bit different. Hence the whole brothel thi.." Sarah is interrupted by her phone buzzing

"You're back on speakerphone, Bill. Over"

"Thanks. So as I was saying. Harmony grows you a pony clone body, puts your mind into it, and you live in it until it matures. It's genetically engineered to grow fast. Then you are slaughtered, butchered for meat, and your mind is installed in a new clone body. It's more ethical and legal than how the first f.." Sarah mutes the phone

"That.. That's not a story Ash needs to know right now, Bill."

"Uhh. What's going on?"

"Please understand Ash, there are some things we don't want to inform workers on this during the interview. But I suppose what's done is done." 

"I take it the first burgers were not clones, then?" I ask, cautiously

"We didn't know they were sapient." she explains, tears running, recalling what must have been difficult times
 "Most of them don't even wear clothes, and much of their language uses sounds outside of human hearing range. It was a dark time, but we took our punishment with humility, and redeemed ourselves."

The phone buzz with a message.
 "Uh, I'm sorry Bill." The unmutes him.

"No, I should be sorry. I should have been more considerate. You should probobly know that.. ehm.. Well, it's a thing you'll probobly learn of later. I don't want to anger Sarah more. Sufficed to say, it's very important that we follow the local laws. Over"

Yes. Thank you Bill. You see, Ash, The Equestrian people quite enjoy our coltural exhange. We are regularly copying books, movies, TV shows to share with their people. In exchange, our meat production is tolerated, as long as we at least follow the letter of the law.

The Equestrian government don't have laws against suicide or consenting assisted suicide, nor do they have laws about butchering ponies for meat. Ponies don't eat meat, so they naturally don't have such laws. And even if they did,  we perform also all slaughters Earth-side, and with all meat ponies knowingly and consentingly passing the portal. So as long as we never force anyone to do this, everything we do is legal."

"So that's where the cycle of slaughtering and cloning comes in?" All this legal babble is a bit much.

"uh.. over?" I want to hear Bill explain this.

"Well, first of, to correct Sarah. Some ponies do eat meat, though rarely on purpose. One of my wives is a naturalist you see, so she graze regularly, even got me to do it. And with grazing, well, if you know, you know.

As for that cycle. I have grown 19 bodies for slaughter for Harmony. Twice as a mare, just to try it out. Each time, I tried dying in a different way. Hey, here's an idea, Sarah. Show Ash the video of my first death, my death as a human, that is. You are gonna get a kick out of this, Ash. Over."

"It will take a minute to find, Bill. But I'm on it." Sarah pulls up a laptop, and starting digging though the files

"Different ways to die, huh? How different?" This is starting to sound interesting

"And there we have it. That's the smirk we were all hoping to see."

"Wha.. what do you mean?" Could she possibly know about..

"Just think about how we slaughter cattle. There's gas, a tick rod to the skull, or a good old knife to the throat. We got all those, and more. We could drown you, cut you to pieces, we could hang you. We could even run you over with our supply truck. Once you sign up, you can experience a different death each time."

Fuck. She knows. I don't know how, but she must knows I'm into guro and snuff.

"I take your silence for approval, then? Here's Bill's first death, by the way" One keystoke later, and the video starts playing on one of the walls, from an unseen projector.

The video is from inside a truck. Bill is carefully bound onto the seat. Bill is looking as I knew him, human, obviously, as he looked before his death. In his condition Bill can barely move more than his neck, so it's odd seeing him in a car-seat, much less so a truck. There's tape holding his hands to the wheel. I can't see his legs, but they could have done the same for his feet.

By the sound, the truck seems to be idling, not moving on its own. But it is moving, offroad, towards a shallow lake.

The trucks rolls down the enbankment, hits the water. Still going. Water starts slowly filling the cabin. With the windows up, there's still air in the cabin, even as the truck is fully submerged.

Bill smiles for the camera, then flicks his thumb. The window opens a gap. Water flows in.

The water raises slowly. As it reaches his neck, Bill takes a deep breath.

His head is now under water. He exhales though his nose. Bubbles flying out fast. He goes still, a smile on his face.

There is a trickle of something white flowing though the water. Fuck me I just noticed the masturbation machine he's wearing in his pants, it was jacking him off as he drowned.

The video ends, and I am left with a raging boner.

"I see that had a certain effect on you" Sarah say with a grin, hey eyes on the bulge in my pants.

"We're calling her the Truck-Kun, by the way. Over" Bill's voice comes, oblivious on the time-delayed comment by Sarah.

"Wait.. what? uhmm. over?"

"On account we get isekaied by it. Get it? Drowning inside it is not exactly how the trope goes, but I didn't just want to get ran over, with the wheelchair and all that. over."

"And you always loved the drowning section of r/guro. I get it. I never figured any of us would ever actually do it."

"So Ash. How would you like to die?" Sarah asks

"I.. uhh.. I think I need to think about that.  Is drowning like Bill did an option?"

"Of course that's an option, Ash. Except we can't do it with the truck again, maybe a car. Towing it up from the lake and repairing it were rather inconvenient. "

"You don't need to decide right away, though." Bill explains, breaking into the conversation.
 "It takes time to get everything ready. Body design, clone work, mind scan. It took Harmony a month to prepare for my transition.
 Anyway.. I.. I should probably go. Even if I could only hear it, reliving that memory... I need to relive myself, if you get my meaning. See you on the other side, Ash. Over and out." The phone cackles, the call ends.

"Ponies got hooves, right? How would he, you know..", looking down, I realize I'm facing the same 'problem'. So naturally I'm rather curious.

"Uh, there are ways. Equestrian pony limbs are more flexible than the terrestrial equivalent. Not that he needs it. In Equestria, it's normally the stallions who are hesitant to sex. One of his wives are about to get lucky, I'm sure."

"Well, I do worry a bit about that. If you can't tell, I'm gay. So.." I can't believe the job interview got into this topic.

"Ah. This is something. You are worried about being pressured into forming a herd with just mares?"

"Well, if that's the term, 'forming a herd'? Yes?"

"Well, you got five years to figure that out. Maybe Bill can help you with that. I only know so much of Equestrian society. But there is one alternative."

"What alternative?"

"We could make your final body a mare, if you like. It's a trivial change, but we'd need to know a year ahead of your retirement. Your final body is grown slower, so if you want to change the gender, or make other changes, we need to know then."

"I'm not t.." huh. I never thought about it. Would I want to be a woman?

"I will think about it. There is much I need to think about, it seems."

"Just don't forget to sign the contract, now."

She's right. I completely forgot. I shift in the chair, by boner finally calming down. I grab the pen.

"So a month after I sign this, you're going to kill me?"

"More like between one to three weeks. We have refined our procedures since Bill joined us.
 The biggest factor is mind scanner. It can take a while to accurately map your brain structure"

"Ok. I understand." I sign my name on the contract.

"Welcome to Harmony, Ash. I believe you will fit right in here. Are you ready to start the onboarding procedure right away?"

"I suppose so? I don't have any other plans for today."

"Excellent. I'm informing Dr. Matter to expect us soon" typing out a message on her phone.

"Dr. Matter?"

"Yes. Our expert on brains transfers.  He's rather eccentric, but does an excellent job. "

"I see. So after then I leave?"

"You should probobly get to know your new home first. We got a comfortable dormitory setup on the other side of the portal. ...and that reminds me. I should probably assign you to a dorm. Sorry. That part is normally not my job."

"I get a dorm?"

"Wait a sec, I'm checking which ones are available" Sarah clacks away on her laptop.

"I'm setting you up in the Green dorm. You will share space with five other ponies. Two of them are company veterans. I just sent them a message. They will meet us on the other side of the portal"
 She closes her laptop
 "Are you ready to visit Equestria?"

"Fuck yea, I am".

!highlight!Chapter 2 - Meating my co-workers

[i]"This is an underground lake."[/i]

When I first learned of this magical portal between worlds, I imagined something like Stargate. A big ring with a wavy puddle-looking circle in the middle. I did not expect a literal puddle of water.

A weird machine is suspended by a metal frame just over the surface.

As the cargo elevator stops at the cave floor, I note how remarkably smooth the cave is, an almost perfect sphere. I'd bet a geologist would go mad figuring out how this formed.

[i]"Yes. A lake."[/i] Sarah's voice echoes in large cave. [i]"Crossing over is easy. Just walk in. Bend down if you need to. Once you're fully submerged, just surface, and you're in Equestria."[/i]

[i]"That sounds rather..."[/i]

[i]"It's magic. You'll get used to it."[/i]

I walk up to the lake and dipped my shoe in it. It seems just like regular water.

[i]"Are you sure this is the only way? I'd rather not get my stuff wet. Especially not my insulin pump."[/i]

[i]"Ah, of course. Look over there" [/i]She points to a shelf [i]"We got waterproof bags. Just put whatever's water sensitive in there."[/i]

Ah. Of course they have a procedure for that. I grab a bag, and start pulling off my shirt... 

[i]"No need for that, Ash. Keep your clothes on. We got a dryer spell running on both sides."[/i]

[i]"A dryer... spell?"[/i]

[i]"Yes. More magic. Put your foot there in that circle"[/i] She gestured to an empty... no, there's a circle there carved into the rock. About one meter in diameter. I step on it, just as she asked and... nothing? No, wait. I suddenly feel cold. I look down. The wet tip of my shoe dries up completely. The cool feeling disappears. Uh that's right. Just like a blowdrier. It makes the water evaporate, just without airflow. Somehow.

[i]"Huh. Neat."[/i]

[i]"Just don't stand in it too long, or it will start to pull the moisture off your skin."[/i]

[i]"That sounds... "[/i]

[i]"Expensive. It will trigger the failsafe, breaking the crystal, and then we will need to pay an enchanter to replace it."[/i]

[i]"Got it. No standing in the circle for too long."[/i]

Right. Going in water. My insulin pump were advertised to be waterproof. But that label is often given to products that are merely water resistant. And it's an old model.
 So. Off it goes, I suppose.

I unclip it from my belt, and detach the tube from the connector near the cannula in my thigh. I bundle it up and put it in waterproof bag.
 With it goes also wallet and regular electronics. Smartwatch, keys, usb sticks, reading tablet. I reach for my phone, only to remember I had to surrender it at the security checkpoint.

Putting it all in the bag, making sure the pump's tube didn't get tangled, as it sometimes does, curse my luck. I seal the bag. It is surprisingly intuitive. No need for manuals.

[i]"Speaking of enchanters, Bill is taking the morning train to meet up. So he will be here sometime past noon tomorrow."[/i] Sarah talks while walking into the lake, her handbag, I realized, is of the same water proof material as the bags on the shelf .

[i]"Bill's an enchanter?"[/i] I ask, following her into the lake.

[i]"Yes, he took up an apprenticeship shortly after he retired. Said he could not sit around doing nothing. A drying gem might still be beyond him yet, though. He just recently started."[/i]

Sarah suddenly squat down, and just as her head went below the water, she faded into nothing.

[i]"Damn this is weird."[/i]

Mimicking her, I carefully squat down. I instinctively hold my breath and close my eyes. Then I feel it. A wave of something. Warmth? No. It's not heat. It's just. Something. I stand up, and....
Suddenly I'm in a walled in courtyard of some sort, with a huge building in front of me. A flagpole in the center, with the UN flag on top, and a flag with the Harmony Corp logo below.
[hr]
Sarah is waving at me, standing next to another circle, this one carved into wood. She is already dry.

Next to her, are five short horses. Or ponies, I suppose.

[i]"There he is. I thought he was gonna stay under FOR-EVER!"[/i] One of the little ponies comments.

[i]"Dry up, Ash, and we can get on with introductions. We don't have long. The doctor is waiting."[/i]

Okey. I suppose these ponies are important, then. I step into the circle, and woah... It's like when I exit the shower. Just instantly cold, but only for a second.

[i]"That was fast."[/i]

I open the waterproof bag, and recover my stuff. I put my pump in my pocket. It's not urgent. I also pocket the bag. I'll need it again when I go back.

[i]"Now then. Allow me to introduce you to your dorm-mates. Once you installed in a worker body, you will share living space with these fine ponies."[/i]

[i]"Here's Eric" [/i]A small blue colt. He has wings, oddly enough. [i]"He has been with us for two years. He will be your primary mentor, training you for the job."[/i]

[i]"Uh."[/i] I lean down, way down, to his eye level. [i]"Nice to meet you, Eric."[/i]

[i]"This is James."[/i] Another young colt, this one with a horn, and brown fur. And even smaller than Eric.

[i]" 'Sup?"[/i]
[i] "He's the veteran of your group. He has been here longer than Bill has."[/i]
[i] "Retirement sounds nice and all, but I like it here."[/i]

[i]"Here's Mia. She's not a regular meatworker. A bit of a special case. Please be extra nice to her, she has lived a very difficult life."[/i]

[i]"H-hi... A-Ash. N-ni-ninice to m-meet you."[/i] Her shy nature seems to match well to her green almost camo-pattern fur, and a very contrasting red and yellow striped scarf over her neck. Like Eric, she also has wings.

[i]"Then there's Charlie. He has been here a few months."[/i]

[i]"Glad I'm no longer the newbie. Glad to meet ye, Ash."[/i] Charlie seems the most like a regular horse, and the only adult, it seems. He has light gray fur, no wings nor horn. He also seem to have some sort of tattoo on his ass. I can't make it out from here though. Would it be rude if I tried to get a closer look?

[i]"And finally, this... "[/i] The very excitable young filly suddenly jumps up and hugs my face!

[i]"Hi-Ashy. My-name's-Happy-Noose. Is-it-ok-I-call-you-Ashy? You-have-a-funny-name-A..." [/i]Sarah pulls the pink fuzzball off my face.

[i]"This is Happy Noose. She has been with us since the start. And if you have any question or idea regarding an execution, ask her. She may not look like it, but she knows how to make every death perfect."[/i]

Yuck. That little fuzzball was wet. Taking my hand to wipe my face... huh? It's sticky. Smells nice too. what is... uh. Uh wow.

[i]"Your dorm is at the third floor. We can give you a tour after you're done at the doctor."[/i]

Three of my future dorm-mates leave for a side entrance on the lefthand wing of the building. Presumably heading back to the dorm.

Sarah is leading the rest of us towards the main entrance.

[i]"So..." [/i]The brown-furred pony asks [i]"What are you into?"[/i]

[i]"into?"[/i]

[i]"You know... porn, sex, what's your thing?"[/i]

[i]"I... I don't think that..."[/i]

[i]"You don't exactly get this job by being a prude. We're all sexual perverts here. Well, with some exceptions. So. What are you into?"[/i]

[i]"That's rather forward of you... um..."[/i]
[i]
"Sorry. I shouldn't pressure you. I'm sure you'll open up sooner or later"[/i]

[i]"Jaaa-ames... The bar? Come-on-man-drag-your-big-cock-over-here! Come-on-come-on-come-on! I'm-getting-the-driiinkz!" [/i]the blue colt who seems to have ran ahead, yells rapidly.

[i]"Are... are you sure the two of you should drink? You seem so... young?"[/i]

[i]"No alcohol laws here, kid."[/i]

[i]"Kid? I'm not a kid. I'm 32"[/i]

[i]"Uh how I miss my 30's. Not as much as I miss my 20's, though... Well. We talk later, Eric's waiting"[/i]

The weird pony heads over to the bar.

[i]"uh, bye, I guess"[/i]
[hr]
[i]"This way, Ash."[/i] Sarah pulls me towards another door.
[i]"Medical clinic... And what does that text mean?"[/i]

[i]"The same, in Equestrian."[/i] opening the door, into a hallway painted in clinical white.
[i] "Well, one translation, anyway. Equestrian is complicated. The natives sometime grovel that it's technically wrong, but we lack the language for them to explain the nuance."[/i]

[i]"I... see? I take it the language barrier is a problem?"[/i]

[i]"Not as bad as it could be. I can speak passable Equestrian when I must. But most natives take to learning English rather easily"[/i]
 Sarah explains, as she opens the door.

[i]"Welcome to the clinic, please state the nature of your medical emergency."[/i] a white pony sitting at a reception desk quips dryly, and quite fluently.
 A TV overhanging an empty waiting room is playing what I immediately recognize as an episode of Star Trek Voyager, based on the set and the characters. I could be mistaken, it could be TNG, it looks simu....
Nah, the show theme just started. It's Voyager. And on a second look, the nurse seems to be wearing a costume resembling that of The Doctor from the USS Voyager.

[i]"Good afternoon, nurse Bandage Wrapper. This is Ash. Doctor Matter is expecting us."[/i] Sarah explains

[i]"Good. I'll let him know" Her horn light up in a pale, almost white, yellow. "He's usually here withing five minutes. Mind if we watch this?"[/i] She gestures to the TV

[i]"Sure... I mean... no problem. You like Star Trek, huh?"[/i]

[i]"Yeah. When the embassy hired me, I started watching Earth media to help learn English. But once I got to Star Trek, I got hooked."[/i]

[i]"First time I met an alien who liked Earth sci fi. Well, not that I met many aliens."[/i]

[i]"You're the aliens here, human. Just call us Ponies. Or Equestrians, if you must."[/i]

[i]"Fair enough."[/i]

After a minute or so of watching...
[i] "I recognize this episode. It's the one where invisible aliens have snuck onboard and..."[/i]

[i]"Hush. No spoilers!"[/i]

[i]"Uh. You haven't...? uh. Right."[/i]

[i]"I really enjoy this show. Too bad there's only seven seasons... heh. Seven. . Next series is some sort of prequel, though. That will be fun"[/i]

[i]"Knowing how fast I binge though a TV show, I'd bet this won't last long."[/i]

[i]"What does 'binge' mean?"[/i]
[i] "What binge means? I never thought about defining it. I guess, to watch as much as you can endure, or have time for of something, in neglect of pretty much everything else."[/i]

[i]"That... I think I get it. I mean, I'm not being neglectful but I do watch whenever I can. Secretary work really is more of a stallion j... Sorry. No offense. A-a-nd I'm grateful for the job, miss Sarah."[/i]

[i]"You do a good job, Bandage. Continue doing a good job, and you get to complain as much as you like. It's what my father thought me. When people need to vent their frustrations, it's better to let them be, than making a big fuss about it."[/i]

[i]"So..." [/i]I say, wanting to change the subject [i]"You're watching Enterprise next, then? I guess I'll see you cosplaying as Dr. Phlox, then?"[/i]

[i]"Maybe. If he's cute. Heh"[/i]

The show advances to the scene where the characters Tom and B'elanna have a very neglectful secret romantic encounter in the spaceship's engineering upper deck.

[i]"Woah. Speaking of neglectful. Wow. I wish I had somepony to court like that. Woah. Right in the middle of her workplace."[/i]

[i]"Uh? No cute stallions asking  you out?"[/i]
[i] "What? Stallions asking me ou... uh that's right. This show is from your world. Their weird romantic practices are based on yours. No, silly. Here in a proper civilized world, it is the mare who asks the stallion for a date."[/i]

[i]"Wait, we're not civilized? We made sci-fi!"[/i]
[i] "Your ability to make sci-fi does not make you civilized."[/i] she quips with a hoof-wave [/i]"Yes, I watched Star Wars too."[/i]

[i]"I see. But then you got lots of us to pick from. You haven't had any luck with uh... us worker stallions?"[/i]
[i] "Eh. No offense there, mister... What was it?"[/i]

[i]"Ash"[/i]

[i]"Mister Ash. That's a short name. You worker ponies are much like, no offense, brothel workers. You are good for a lay every once in a while. And I do indulge, of course. But none of you, at least while you work here, are really herd-material."[/i]

[i]"Uh, I see. The how about this doctor Matter, then?"[/i]

Bandage sighs
[i] "Well, I would be lying if I said he weren't attractive. But he is even more of a prude than most stallions. I did ask him out once. He said, and I quote, 'I'm not like those brothel-stallions. I'm not sticking my dick into anypony I don't love and cherish'. He is clearly waiting for Miss Perfect to show up one day to court him. No, I guess I'm stuck here alone, for quite some time."[/i]

[i]"I see... "[/i]

[i]"Is this just going to be a romantic episode, though? There's usually something weird happening."[/i]
 The nurse start looking a bit bored after the kissing scene ended abruptly, leading into a slow-paced briefing about a pulsar.

[i]"The romance is just a subplot. The real story is about a team of aliens secretly performing experiments on the crew."[/i]

[i]"What?! Spoilers!"[/i]

[i]"Relax. I only spoiled a couple of..."[/i]

[i]"Mr. Ash?"[/i] A voice carries down the hallway. A door is open. A stallion with a blue coat, a long horn, and a black mane stands in the middle.

[i]"I guess it's time. Have fun there, Nurse Bandaid..."[/i]

[i]"Bandage."[/i] She corrects [i]"And I will."[/i]

[i]"Good luck in there, Ash. I'll be here."[/i] grabbing her laptop from her bag, and starts clacking on the keyboard. Clearly working on something.
[hr]
As I enter the door where the doctor is waiting, I enter his office, the door is magically closed behind me.

[i]"So. You're the new worker"[/i]
[i]
"Yes... Uhh. Doctor. I understand you are about to scan my brain?"[/i]

[i]"Good, good. Welcome. Now sit down and get comfortable."[/i]

A chair, fitted for, but clearly not built by humans, is installed in a large machine, dominating the office. It looks comfy, but that instrument at head height makes me a bit worried.

[i]"That thing looks a bit..." [/i]

[i]"Relax human, this is only for the first time scan. Now, sit down and relax while I restrain your head, and prepare the probes."[/i]

Well. I don't have much of I choice, I guess. I sit down. Suddenly the lights in the room shift to a dark red, and the restraints engage.

[i]"Now this is important. Which eye of your eyes are dominant? Do you know?"[/i]

[i]"Uh... left, I think? I had an eye exam last year. I'm slightly near sighted."[/i]

[i]"Good. Right eye it is, then"[/i] a probe lowers down on a mechanical arm. It looks eye-socket socket sized.

[i]"Uh... Is that... Are you about to remove my right eye?"[/i]

[i]"Uh you won't believe the trouble pon... people get in when they get their dominant eye probed. They just don't walk quite right after. So glad you knew which eye you don't need."[/i]

[i]"I don't know about this doctor. I'd rather not loose an eye. Aren't there any alternatives, like my nose?"[/i]

[i]"Ah yes, that reminds me"[/i]
 An additional probe appears under my nose.
[i] "We need to enter there as well. And the back of your head. Too bad human anatomy makes entering though your ear canals impossible. Could have added two more precious angles"[/i]

[i]"Wait..." [/i]I try to move, but the restraints keep my head completely locked in place.
[i] "No. Don't. I don't wanna loose my eye!"[/i]

[i]"Don't act like such a little colt, human. You only need one eye. Besides you will have fresh new eyes once your mind is transferred into your meat clone body."[/i]

The eye-probe is now resting right in front of my right eye, a sharp needle close to poking me right in the pupil.

[i]"Now hold still while I apply the nerve blocker..."[/i]

[i]"Noo..."[/i]

His horn light up, I hear a faint ringing sound, and suddenly... I can't see him? What? And what's with that vibration at the back of my neck?   Wait... I see him... Just past the tip of my... nose... wait... Have I gone blind in my right eye? I try to wink my right eye. Nothing.
[i] "Please don't... uh whatever, I'll just disable your eyelid too."[/i]
[i] "Wait-wait-wait... Are you about to remove one of my eyes?!"[/i]
[i] "It's already off, and you didn't notice. This is good."[/i]

[i]"Now try not to fidget, or I might accidentally scramble your brain"[/i]
 My left arm suddenly goes numb.
[i] "What?!"[/i]
[i] "oops... Well, you probably didn't need that part anyway."[/i]

[i]"Ocular probe fully inserted. Inserting nostril probe now..."[/i]
 I can see the probe in my nostril going deeper and deeper. And then deeper. Fuck how far...

[i]"Good. The skull-probe is almost done drilling. "[/i]
[i]
"Skull-probe? Drilling?!"[/i]

[i]"It's just a teeny tiny hole into your brain, don't worry, the survival rate is quite high, and the hole is barely noticeable."[/i]

[i]"Survival rate?"[/i]

Doctor Matter mutters something in his native Equestrian.

[i]"Ready yourself... the skull-probe is going in... in three... two... oh, woops..."[/i]

[i]"HELP! I'm... I'm blind... What did y..."[/i]
 [i]"There we go. Fixed it. Good as... almost new. Such a baby colt you are, its barely minor brain damage."[/i]
 I can see again, but what's with this guy? Is he about to kill me, BEFORE they are done scanning my brain?

[i]"Aaand done. "[/i] I see the nostril probe retract... wait. That looks much less than I saw go in?

[i]"Sorry for the theatrics, mr. Ash. I needed your brain well stimulated for the scan."[/i]

[i]"What?" [/i]This was all just... just to scare me??

[i]"The procedure was much less intrusive than I made you believe. Your eye is just fine, Ash. It's just popped out of your socket to make room for the probe"[/i]
 He explains in a flat, clinical tone

[i]"Your eye is well supported by the probe-arm, and undamaged. You also don't have a hole in your skull, just more theatrics. As for your arm..."[/i]
 His horn flickers briefly, and feeling returns [i]"It was just another medical nerve blocker spell, same as the one blocking your eye. Now just be patient a moment longer while I finish cleaning your socket... there we go."[/i]
 All I can see, is the probe doing something to the right of my vision, mostly obscured by my nose.

[i]"Popping your eye back in now... Brace yourself, I'm cutting the last nerve blocker."[/i]

[i]"Aaagh... "[/i] Suddenly, vision returns to my right eye with a bright flash.
 My eye feel irritated, like I got an eyelash stuck in it. Also my vision is blurry. At least the flash is fading.

[i]"Your eye is going to be a bit sensitive for a while, and possibly blurry. I recommend that you wear an eye-patch for at least an hour, while it recovers. "[/i]

[i]"What about the... uh... brain damage?" [/i]
[i]
"No brain damage, just more trickery. You're fine, mr Ash."[/i]

The restraints unlock, and the doctor levitates an eye-patch onto my waiting hand.
[i] "There you go. I trust you can stand just fine?"[/i]

I stand up, a bit shaky from the adrenaline, but still fine. I put on the patch, making sure it covers my eye completely. Satisfied, Dr. Matter turns the lights back to normal.

[i]"D-do I have to go though this e-every time I am g-getting slaughtered?"[/i] I'm stammering? I must be in shock... 

[i]"No, no. That would have been quite inconvenient. Especially now that you know the secret. I know. I had one of my human apprentices perform the scan on me. But without all that shock, fear and anxiety, it took ten hours."[/i]

[i]"So... We could have skipped all that horror? Pretending to scramble my brain?"[/i]
[i] "Well, yes. But you wouldn't have wanted it. I had probes into both my ears. My eardrums ruptured from the strain. For a human, if your eye had to be out of socket for that long, there would have been a unacceptable high risk of permanent damage."[/i]

[i]"R-ight, I-I-I... I get it. So s-scary is good. B-but that's it? Ma... m-my brain is f-fully scanned now?"[/i]

[i]"Not quite."[/i] A chill of fear runs down my spine
 [i]"The rest of the scans are performed with a smaller hoofheld device, but we don't need to do all those here.
Think of it like drawing a map. The probes draw the large detail, the oceans continents, islands, major rivers and such. The smaller scanner fills in the details, the countries, cities, roads, and other such smaller map-details that might change over time.
As luck has it, you are close to a well mapped archetype, and we got a really good image from the probes. You must have been absolutely terrified."[/i]

Woah... you think? I was so terrified I could have... uh.
 Only now do I notice the wetness in my pants, the soaked chair, and the puddle.
[i]"Uh... I-I'm so sorry abou..."[/i]

[i]"No need to be sorry. This happens to most of my patients. Go dry yourself off"[/i] He points to a circle drawn on the floor in one of the corners. Similar to the one by the portal.
 Standing in it, my pants and shoes dries up.
 There's still pee on my pants, but at least its dry.

[i]"M-maybe you should consider putting future p-patients in d-diapers?"[/i]
[i]"You are not the first to suggest that."[/i]

[i]"I... see. S-so we're d-done here, n-now?"[/i]

[i]"Almost. Next we need to confirm the results. Wouldn't want you walking off with the wrong crystal, would we?"[/i]
 Gray Matter picks up some paper from a tray in his telekinesis. There papers are full of graphs and Equestrian writing.
[i]"Based on your closest archetype, let's see... You're left handed, dyslexic, completely monolingual, bipolar, and secretly wish to get stuffed by your daddy. Does this describe you at all?"[/i]
[i] "What? [b]No[/b]!"[/i]
 Well, now that he mentions it, maybe that last one? But who the fuck would willingly admit that?
 I mean, I've seem my dad's dick three... no four times. I think it was that time when I was 15, walking in on my parents fucking, that I realized I was gay. Not that it matters, the man's a decade dead by...

[i]"Hello? Equus to Ash?"[/i]
[i] "Uh. S-sorry?"[/i]

[i]"I get it. You Earth Stallions are quite mareish, and most mares fantasize about fucking their dad. Anyway, Sorry for the mixup. I got your real results ready now.
 Also, I can't actually tell sexual fantasies from this, just your general brain structure, it was just a joke."[/i]

[i]"Here we go. You are probably a level one autistic, have moderate prosopagnosia, you are very multilingual, a very strong secondary language, English if I'm not mistaken,  several tertiary languages, but your primary language seem to have atrophied. You are right-handed and you secretly... uh... no need to repeat that.
 There are more traits on this list, if you care... But can you confirm these traits are accurate?"[/i]

[i]"Atrof... atrophied? Well, I... bu..."[/i]
 I can't speak properly... dammit. But I have been away from my home country for some years, maybe that's what he means?
[i] "Uh... umm... I th-think s-so?" [/i]I manage to say

[i]"Good. Now hold still for a minute."[/i]
 The doctor holds the small device to my head. My head vibrates.

[i]"Good.  We need at least eight more daily scans of you before we can safely extract your mind. At a minimum. Give it two week of daily scanning to be safe. It wouldn't hurt to scan more frequently, either."[/i]

He pulls a crystal out of the device using his magic, puts in a shock proof box, and puts in my hands.

[i]"Keep this safe. There is a backup in the master crystal in the other room. But that backup could decay. If you lose this crystal, we may need to probe you again. And if we can't terrify you like this time, you would have to endure a slow probing."[/i]

With a calming tremor, I nod.

[i]"There are scanners available in each dorm, and on Earth, in every kill-room. Make sure to practice scanning yourself. Once the model is complete, you need at least a weekly scan to maintain it."[/i]

[i]"O-ok, d-doc"[/i]
 I don't really have a safe place for this thing. So I just put it in my pocket.

[i]"We are done here for now. You may leave."[/i]
 With barely a thought, my arm goes to the door handle. Only to realize the handle is lower than expected.
 Suddenly the door opens by itself, magic again.
[hr]
It feels surreal. Stepping out of the doctor's horror-show, only to meet the relative normalcy of the clinic's hallway. I can feel the shock wearing off.

[i]"Doctor to the bridge, medical emergency!" [/i]The TV is still playing.
 It's the same episode, but probably near the end.
 It's a good episode. Sad I missed it. Most of season 4 is good, really.
 But I didn't come here to watching sci-fi. Almost wish I did. Not everyday I get to watch with someone who has never watched it before.

Nurse Bandage is locked onto the screen. I don't think she have even noticed me yet.
 Sarah is still working on her laptop, absorbed in her work.

The episode goes into a climax, as the captain goes mad from the alien's experiments, pulling a dangerous stunt to get rid of them.
 At the calm that followed the action, Nurse Bandage finally notice me.

[i]"Hey Ash. I didn't see you come out. How was it? Did he do the light effects this time?" [/i]

[i]"T-this time? Does he always sc-scare his patients?"[/i] I'm still stuttering? Fuck that's embarrassing.

[i]"It helps with the scanning. He had me believe he was secretly a changeling, and the probes were sucking all the love out of me."[/i]

[i]"Mr. Ash. That was quicker than expected?"[/i]
 Sarah noticed me.

[i]"I was? W-well, the doc said it was a good sc-scan. T-two weeks t-to be safe, he s-said."[/i] I paraphrase

[i]"Excellent. Then lets head over to your new dorm, and give you a tour."[/i]

[i]"Actually, can I stay, watch a bit? It's a good episode. And I need to rest after the p-probing."[/i]

[i]"Well. We are in no rush, I suppose. Let me know when you're ready."[/i]
 The news paper going back up, as if a barrier between herself, and the noise from the TV.

It's been years since last I watched this episode, so I only had a vague idea on how it ended.
 But there was not much left of the episode. The aliens were all gone, the episode were wrapping up. And then ended by going full circle with Tom and B'ellana on a date. Quite wholesome.

[i]"This remains the one of the better episodes"[/i]

[i]"I hope you agree on that warp 10 barrier episode as being the worst"[/i] Nurse Bandage quips, as a true Star Trek fan.

[i]"Threshold, season 2, when Tom and Janeway are somehow turned into lizards, and has lizard kids... Dammit. Now I hate you. You made me remember."[/i] I quip back

[i]"Sarah, I like this human. Please, get more of him."[/i]

[i]"I will try to. But Ash, We should get going."[/i]

[i]"Maybe just one more episode? I still feel a bit off after the probing."[/i] I'm starting to feel pretty much ok by now. But it's a nice excuse.

[i]"Well. We're not in a rush. I suppose the tour can wait."[/i]

Reading the situation, the nurse fish a remote control from somewhere, press a button, how does she operate a remote control with hooves? The TV skips the credits, starting the next episode. The opener features the interior of some alien spacecraft.

[i]"Good job prioritizing your job, right in front of your boss there, Bandage. Real nice."[/i] Sarah comments sarcastically.

When the theme song starts, Nurse Bandage suddenly asks
[i] "What's with the thing you got there on your belt?" Clearly trying to change the subject.
 "This? It's my insulin pump. It's connected with a tube into my thigh."[/i]

[i]"Insulin? Ah! I read about this in the textbooks. Yes, us ponies have a similar function for transporting sucrose into cells, but ours is based on magic."[/i]

[i]"Magic? Of course it is. It seems everything here is magic. But yes. I need insulin to live. My body stopped making it, so this machine gives it to me."[/i]

[i]"Pony diabetes... Well, you don't have a proper translation for the word. But, when a pony gets it, they need a spell cast on them every hour to stay alive. It's very rare. You can't get it from consuming too much sugar, as I read humans do."[/i]

[i]"Well, I didn't get my diabetes from too much sugar. It's damage from my..."[/i]
[i] "Hush. The episode is starting." [/i]Well. She has her priorities, I suppose. Can't blame her for that.

The rest of the hour an a half of what proved to be a two-parter episode went with few words. The horror of the probing having finally faded into the background, as I enjoy some quality classic science fiction.

!highlight!Chapter 3 - Life at the dormitory

After a mini-marathon of watching Star Trek, it’s finally time to move on.
 But just as we exit the clinic, we are met with a rather stressed pony.

Gray fur with wings and a yellow mane, an urn mark on his hip.

“[i]Add-mini-staytor Sah-Rah! I fund yoo! Plis, deh kwiin haas a uregent oreder![/i]” The pony utters urgently, in very broken english.

“[i]Woah. Take it easy mr. Urn.[/i]”
 Sarah tries to calm the frantic pony

“[i]Pliis add-mini-staytor. Deh kwiin is hurtz. Shi niids a kutie slis urghentli. Vi pai tehn taims prais.[/i]” The pony holds a full bag of something, using his wings. Holding it in front of Sarah.

“[i]Sarah, who’s this?[/i]”
 “[i]He is an envoy from the... From a pony tribe in the south.
 One of our customers.
 And if I understood the gist of it, then this is an emergency. Please, Sacred Urn. Repeat in Equestrian.[/i]”
 Sarah puts on a hearing aid, saying a short phrase in their language.

The pony facehooves, and appears to repeat himself, but in the native language. Finishing off with the big bag of something, again.

Sarah takes it, replies in the same language, and off he runs.

“[i]Well. That turned what was to supposed to be a stressfree evening into a time-crunch nightmare.[/i]”
 She secures her laptop into the waterproof bag.

“[i]What is going on?[/i]”

“[i]The.. Ehm.. Southern tribe needs an emergency shipment of one of our products. And we are all out.[/i]”

“[i]So what are we doing about it?[/i]”
 She takes the heels off her apparently convertible shoes, pocketing them.
 “[i]Execute an emergency plan. That’s what. And we need to hurry. Well, I do, anyway. You’ll just have to tour your new dorm without me[/i]”.
[hr]
Sarah increased her pace to a fast professional speed-walk. I almost have to jog to keep up. And that’s not easy in my condition.

We rush past an elevator. I turn.

“[i]Soh... Sorry sarah... I... I ca... Can’t keep up. I...[/i]” I can barely catch my breath.... Woah...

“[i]ok... Ok. You take the elevator, then.[/i]” She hits what must have been the call button, passing the elevator “[i]Third floor. Take a right when you get out, look for a green door.[/i]”

Then Sarah enters the nearby stairwell, even faster than before, and disappears from view.

I stop and wait by the elevator door. I try to catch my breath.

After a minute, the elevator finally arrives. It’s a large car, with wide doors. It must be a cargo elevator.
 Entering the elevator, I find the panels. It’s in British style, with our current floor labelled as ‘[i]ground[/i]’ floor. The buttons are labeled in both indo-arabic numerals, and some remarkably similar Equestrian numerals.

I press the number 3. The door close, and ...
 “[i]HOLD THE DOOR![/i]” A voice rings from outside.
 “[i]HODOR![/i]” I yell back, out of reflex. Then after a split second, I realize, and put a foot in the door. Trusting it’s built to moden standards.
 Hey, if not, I’m dead in two weeks anyway. Right?

The door opens. Two ponies approach. Two foals. One Blue, one brown. The bigger blue one sways, badly. Supported by the smaller brown foal. They seem familiar... Uh right. The dorm mates I was introduced to. The two who headed to the bar.
 Uh crap. I can’t remember their names.

The blue... Colt. That’s the term for a male foal, right? The blue one collapse on the floor, as the doors close, again.
 “[i]So... How was the bar?[/i]”

“[i]Eric, stop it.[/i]”
 The blue colt is trying to suck on the other colt’s half erect cock.
 “[i]That good, huh? What kind of bar is that?[/i]”

“[i]Ah. Waaatz diiiick! Come ohn...[/i]” Eric wails
 “[i]Hey, not in the elevator, and especially not in front of the new guy.[/i]”

“[i]So... It was a sex party?[/i]”
 “[i]No. Or well, it’s not supposed to be. It’s a cutie mark party, a local tradition held by our native workers. It’s normally for foals, but since we are all... Ahm... [b]supposedly[/b] responsible adults, it was held in a bar, with drinks served.[/i]”

“[i]I’ve’ucked-so’anybihes[/i]” Eric slurs, incomprehensibly

“[i]Sounds like he had a good night? Aaand you’re not drunk?[/i]”

“[i]Kid, I’m 97 years old. I know how to pace myself.[/i]”
 Feels weird for such a small thing to call me ki... Wait... He’s how old?

“[i]Um...well, you don’t look a day over... Eh... Five.[/i]”

“[i]Funny. Bill said the same. Almost word for word.[/i]”

The car move slowly. Now I get why Sarah didn’t want to take it. It must be built for really heavy cargo. Uh. Duh. Three tonns, says so right there on the wall.

[color=#888888][b]bip-bip-bip![/b][/color]
 “[i]Whatsh dat beebing?[/i]”
 “[i]Uh. It’s my watch. It’s time for my dinnertime cortisol pill.[/i]”
 I silence the alarm.
 “[i]After everything that has happened today, I think I should take a double dose.[/i]” I say to myself, as I reach for my fanny pack... Which is not there.
 “[i]Uh-uh. This might be a problem[/i]”

“[i]What’s cortisol?[/i]” The brown pony asks
 “[i]Uh. Guys. I think I left my travel bag in my car.[/i]”

The brown colt hits the stop button.
 “[i]How important is this? Do you need to go back?[/i]”

“[i]I’ll live. I can make it a day without or two without dying. I’ll just get a bit weak.[/i]”

“[i]Life critical?[/i]”

James got a hoof right over the emergency stop button.

“[i]Well. Yes, but not urgently. I’ll be fine missing a dose.[/i]”

James lowers his hoof

“[i]If you’re sure about that. If not, you could just toss me your carkeys, and I’ll get DF to fetch your bag for you.[/i]”

“[i]Who’s DF?[/i]”

“[i]Double double... Prepare for trouble... With double double...[/i]” Eric mumbles

[color=#888888][b]DING[/b][/color]
 Before James gets to respond, the car arrives.

“[i]Well. Let’s get you to bed, Eric[/i]” James tries to pull on the larger foal, with little success

“[i]Here, I’ll help[/i]”
 With some effort, I’m able to lift Eric up on his feet.

“[i]EEeew. Youuuu stink[/i]” Eric comments, swaying, but staying on all four.

“[i]Well, he’s not wrong. Come, our dorm is not far.[/i]”

James takes the lead, while I make sure Eric keeps up.
 Passing a stairwell, I can hear footsteps, fading. Probably heading down.

Soon enough I see the green door.
[hr]
James opens the door, Eric stumbles in.

“[i]Uh. Hey![/i]” [b]CRASH[/b] sounds like something just fell over.
 “[i]W-w-welcome b-back b-boys[/i]” a young female voice comes from inside.

“[i]H-Hello A-ash. Y-you’re here for y-your t-t-t-tour?[/i]”
 The small stuttering green filly from before greets me. What was her name again? It was something short. Emma? No. Shorter. Ida? No... Not quite. Uh fuck. I’m just standing there looking at her, aren’t I?

“[i]c-come in s-s-silly.[/i]”
 There’s a sweet scent in the air as I walk in.

On each side of the entrance, there are two closets on each side for shoes, jackets and whatever else. I note that there are what appears to be winter gear for ponies, of different sizes.

Entering what appears to be a combined kitchen and dining area, I see standing there in greeting, still wearing that scarf. She reach out a hoof in a hoof-shake, only to quickly switch hoof. It was... Moist? That’s when I notice the tipped over chair she must have been sitting on.
 It’s weirdly shaped, but I can see how it would fit a sitting pony. But what made me notice was not the shape. It was wet.

“[i]Did we come at a bad time?[/i]”
 Her face reddens.

“[i]Uh. Well, Happy and Charlie just left with Sarah, leaving me alone here, so I.. Well..[/i]”

“[i]Youuu cahn just finish up. I donn cehr[/i]” Eric slurs out.
 “[i]Um.. I get that you’re all naked, but, uhh[/i]” I try
 “[i]I think what he is trying to say is, you should finish up in your room, Mia[/i]” James explains.
 “[i]No.. No. I finished. It’s just... Yeah. Uh. Anybody thirsty?[/i]” She walks off to the kitchen, her tail raised and her pussy opening and closing.

“[i]She’s winking, a lot. Yeah. She’s in heat again. Whatever you do Ash, do not fuck her. No matter how much she beggs. Orders from Rebecca[/i].”
 James disappears into a room, dragging Eric with him.

“[i]Who’s Rebecca? And yes, please. I’m parched.[/i]”

“[i]My aunt.[/i]” Mia explains “[i]She’s my legal guardian.[/i]”
 Up on her rear legs, she opens a kitchen cabinet.
 “[i]And she is in charge of the dorms, ba...[/i]”
 James returns, without Eric.
 “[i]More like the dorm warden.[/i]”
[b]CLANK[/b] a drinking glass hit the floor. Luckily it did not shatter
 “[i]Uh dammit![/i]”
 “[i]Lift with your wingtips, not...[/i]”
 “[i]I know, I know. You don’t need to repeat what the flight instructor said.[/i]”

Trying to be helpful, I set up the chair from earlier, and wipe it on my sleeve. Only to realize this is cum, not water. Oops. Uh well. Looking around, I find a chair suitable for humans by the wall, I move it to the table, and sit down.
 Damn this feels good.

Mia is carefully lifting a cup lifting a full glass of water with her wings, carrying it to the table.
 “[i]There. That’s one.[/i]”
 “[i]Great. Good job, Mia.[/i]”
 James light up his horn, two more glasses fly out of the cabinet, into the sink. The facet turns on, fills them, then the filled glasses levitates to the table, landing in front of me and himself.
 “[i]Showoff..[/i]”

Fuck this water is amazing. Or maybe I’m just so thirsty any liquid tastes great? Either way. Damn. I needed this.

“[i]So Mia, did Sarah say anything about why she grabbed Happy and Charlie?[/i]”

“[i]Yes, it was something about an emergency order. I guess Charlie’s getting the axe. I g-guess this makes me the oldest now.[/i]”

“[i]That explains why she needed them both. If it’s an emergency, who else than Happy can improvise a kill room on short warning.[/i]” James explains

“[i]A k-kill room?[/i]”

“[i]sure. We can’t just get executed by something as boring as a slit throat. We need the extra income from the snuff film enthusiasts. Both here and on Earth. So the kill needs to be entertaining and unique.[/i]”

“[i]N-normally, w-we take a week to p-plan an execution. B-but Happy w-works f-f-fast.[/i]”

“[i]Wait. You sell snuff films? And, on Earth?[/i]”

“[i]Yes. Charlie has actually been invaluable in this. He’s a professional film editor. Ponies here can be as depraved as humans on Earth. Some pay a lot to see ponies die. In particular stallions, and humans for that matter.
 While on earth, we sell the vids though a shell company, pretending it’s all computer animations.[/i]”

“[i]Don’t you already make a lot on selling Harmony meat?[/i]”

“[i]Itsh-not-the-dumb-Euro-weve-shot-on-Ash.
 Itsh-the-Equestrian-Bit! Yay! Bit-bit-bit!
 Weh-need-every-single-Bit-we-can-get-if-we-are-to-expand.[/i]”
 Eric suddenly shows up, fully alert, extremely hyper, speaking at rapidfire speed.
 “[i]Now-come-on-you-have-a-tour-to-attend-right?[/i]”

“[i]Well. There’s his secund wind... I had hoped you’d just sleep it off this time, Eric. You know what happens.[/i]”

“[i]Whatevs-old-man-come-on-Ashy![/i]”

“[i]Just go with him Ash. Yell for me when he tires out. We’ll get started on some dinner.[/i]”

“[i]Ok. Sounds...[/i]”

“[i]come-on-come-on-come-on![/i]”

“[i]Well, I am getting hungry.[/i]”

“[i]Come-oooon[/i]”
 Eric is biting down on my shirt, and pulling me

I guess a tour’s a tour. Even if it’s with a hyperactive drunk.
[hr]
“[i]So-yoh-already-knows-deh-dining-roohm, ovah-heers-zom-roomz.[/i]”

“[i]Could you try to speak a bit slower?[/i]”
 I look down the corridor. There are five doors on the right, and three on the left.

The doors all have have wooden plaques on them. Some have symbols carved into them. Others empty.
 “[i]Thiiiis... Hiiis... Mia’sssss... Rooooom...[/i]” Eric says slowly, dragging out each word.
 The door has a carving of a rounded rectangle, angled over a larger rec... Uh. It’s a gravestone over a grave.
 “[i]That’s.... That’s a very grim image. Also, you can speak faster than that.[/i]”
 “[i]Thanks-yuu-slow-iz-boring! Carvings-is-ourses-fir-frist-firstest-cutie-marks. Mines-juust-a-pen-and-paper. Boooooring.[/i]”

“[i]Um... What exactly is a ‘cutie marks’?[/i]”

“[i]Things-all-ponieses-gets-on-bothses-flanks-of-course. I-gotz-my-newest-yestday![/i]”

Geez, that was barely comprehensible. Note to self, ask for a new tour once he’s sober. Better yet, ask one of the others.
 But sure, now that I look for it. He has a marking of an open half-written book with a feather pen on his flanks. That must be his ‘cutie marks’.

“[i]Deeez-next-three-rooms-are-empty-you-will-have-one-one... Ugh...[/i]”
Eric suddenly sprints into one of the rooms on the left.
The plaque symbol vaguely resembles a shower.
I notice that this plaque is round, while the bedroom plaques are square. I guess that's an easy way to tell which rooms are private.

I see Eric rushing in, and puking over a squat-toilet.
 Evidently, this is the bathroom. Good to know.
 And. Now i know ponies use squat-toilets. Yuck!

Well, I suppose a regular WC with a seat might not work well for ponies.

“[i]uugh... Dis goes be. HIC! Uh... Betther inn than out.[/i]”

“[i]Are you ok?[/i]”

“[i]Neher beher, Ash. Ahs you see, this ihs our main bathroom. You could lock it from inside, ihf you need toh. We normally doh’t. We’h all naked anyway.[/i]”
 Eric clearly slows down, both is speech and movement.

“[i]This next room is just a shallur bathr... Uh. Toilet, really.[/i]”
 The carving actually resembles a regular WC. Slightly hopeful I open it. Nope. It’s another squat toilet. No shower or bathtub here though. Just a small room with a joint sink and squat-toilet.

I close the door.

“[i]Now dis lasht room is Jameses...[/i]” Eric continues the tour

The carving is of a tankard. Wait. This specific tankard seem familiar.

“[i]Ahn finall. Here’s the laundry. Ponieses don’t normally weer clothing, soch mosht of the laundry is bedsheets[/i]”

“[i]Usually Jameses bedsheezzz[/i]”
 Eric falls on a half-filled hamper
 “[i]Bedsheets, bedsheetz... So muches bedsheetz...[/i]”

“[b][i]JAMES![/i][/b]” I yell out, as Eric appears to fall asleep on the collapsed hamper of bedsheets.

The pony comes trotting, entering from the opposite side of the room. Soon Mia joins him.

“[i]Aaaand there’s the crash. Fitting your tour ends here, huh?[/i]”

“[i]What do you mean?[/i]”

“[i]I mean, your cloths could use a wash. You do smell rather badly.[/i]”

“[i]I don’t have a change of...[/i]”

“[i]Here.[/i]”
 He levitates a bathrobe over to me.

“[i]It’s mine. Haven’t used it, well, since I was old I suppose.[/i]”

What the heck. Everyone else is nude. I strip, lay my cloths in a pile, pull on the robe. I take of the stupid eyepath while I’m at it.

The pockets don’t have much space, so I just put my pump in the pocket, and leave the rest of my stuff on a nearby shelf. Turns out this laundry room doubles as storage.

The laundry machine seems simple enough. Just a regular machine, probably bought from the local electrics story Earthside.
 I throw my clothes in. I find some laundry detergent, put it in, and start the machine on quick settings.

By the time I was done, James and Mia had already dragged Eric back to bed, and James were back, watching me finish.

“[i]You done?[/i]”

“[i]Yes. Thanks for the robe.[/i]”

“[i]Well, I’m not using it.[/i]”

“[i]While you are here, I wanted to ask. That symbol on your door. I think I have seen that before.[/i]”

“[i]Uh you have? On a burger, I’d guess?[/i]”

“[i]Um.. Yes, actually. Years ago, first time I had a Harmony Burger. It had that specific symbol grilled onto the bun. I remember my friend I was eating with got one with a noose.[/i]”

“[i]Well, there’s an easy explanation for that. You see, each pony tastes a little bit different. So when we started off selling burgers, each patty was sourced from just one pony. The packaging were then labeled with our cutie mark, and the restaurant serving it were instructed to grill the cutie mark on the bun. Obviously not knowing why.[/i]”

“[i]So then that burger came from you?[/i]”

“[i]Did you like it?[/i]”

“[i]Well, obviously. It was a premium Harmony Burger.[/i]”

“[i]I mean, are you saying you like getting my meat inside of you?[/i]”

“[i]I... Well it sure were tasty... Wait, are you suggesting we...[/i]”

“[i]Why don’t you join me in my room, and see how well you like my meat?[/i]”

Am I about to fuck a pony? Well, he does look cute standing there. Fuck it. Let’s do it.
[hr]
James’ dorm room is roomier than I expected.
 Sure, there not much space for both of us in here together.
 For one one single guy... Err... Pony? It’s bigger than my collage dorm room.
 There’s a well sized cupboard for storage, a chair and desk, both with adjustable heights, and what looks like a computer on the desk.
 A window, that probably has a great view from up here.
 The bed sits lower than I would expect. But then, p...

“[i]Are you just gonna look, or are you going inside?[/i]”
 James lifts my robe, and slaps me on my bare ass.

“[i]Ok, ok. Hold your... Ehm[/i]”
 “[i]Horses? Hah. I’ll show you ‘horse’.[/i]”

I sit down on the bed.
 “[i]No, lay down, on the side.[/i]”

I follow his instructions. He stands on two legs, and shuffles closer. There! I grab his dick, guide it to my mouth. His flat tip hits my tongue, and I’m rewarded with the sweet taste of his precum. Well. This is different. First time sucking a horsecock.
 Taking the head in my mouth, I probe around with my tongue, trying to find the good spots.
 James is moaning, and he is definitely growing.
 I try to take more of it inside, but then he starts humping.
 I curve my tongue, and start sucking, while my one available arm strokes his growing shaft.
 His thrusts now go all the way into the back of my mouth, his medial ring teasing my lips.
 Just as we were getting into a good rhythm, he stops.

“[i]On your belly, please. I’m going in.[/i]”
 Uh fuck yes.

He grabs something from the drawer in the bedside table. I can’t see it from here. But I can guess.
 Aaaand pretty much confirm it, as I feel the cool liquid pour over my asshole. Then something smooth and hard pokes my behind. I can’t see.. Oooh! It goes in. And out. And in.. Out. Hang on. That can’t ha.. Uh. That’s a bit bigger. Ah. I get it. He’s stretching me.

“[i]Fuck... Contin... Ugh... Ah... Like that, I mi... Might cum just f-from the pro... Pros...[/i]” I can’t finish the words.

“[i]Nice, right? Hang on, this robe is getting in the way. Let me fix that.[/i]”
 There is a faint ringing sound. The ringing is similar to what I heard from the doctor, thinking about it.
 There is a warm feeling on my left arm, and it lifts up, the bathrobe glides off, once it clears, James do the same on my right, and it’s off.

“[i]That’s better.[/i]”
 James applies more lube.
 “[i]Brace yourself, I’m going in.[/i]”
 “[b][i]Auch![/i][/b]” What was that? Did he accidentally kick me or something?
 Looking as far back as I can, I see one of his hooves. It looks sharp and uneven. Yeah, he must have scratched me or something.
 “[i]Are you ok?[/i]”
 “[i]Yes. Please, I need it. Uh god I forgot how much I need this. Stuff me, James![/i]”
 A warm sensation over my bum.
 “[i]ahh..[/i]”
 I feel his dick make contact. Fuck, final...
 “[i]AAAhh... Ah... [/i]”
 Damn. That hurts...

“[i]Are you ok?[/i]”

“[i]I’m... Fine. It’s not the widest cock I have taken. [/i]”
 Though not by much.
 “[i] I just... A moment.[/i]”

“[i]Yeah. I knew you were a true friend of Mrs. King, the moment I saw you.[/i]”

“[i]A friend of w...? Oof![/i]” Damn! To think such a little guy is filling me like that? How big would he be all grown up?

“[i]Ah! Ah! Ah![/i]” James rally starts rutting me. I’m feeling close.
 “[b][i]AAAAAah![/i][/b]” James yells out.
 I’m feeling a slight pressure in my guts. Damn. He must be cumming a lot. Sadly, he stops humping. Damn. I was this close.

“[i]Ah. Thank you... Ash. This was... Amazing[/i]”
 Well. I didn’t cum, but at least he’s happy. I guess I can just fap...?
 As he dismounts, I roll and get up... Except, James is stopping me.
 “[i]Ah. We’re not done yet, are we?[/i]”
 He presents his behind.
 “[i]Please be a dear, your fingers are better than hooves[/i]”
 He hooves me the tube of thick anal lube.

I apply a significant amount of lube in and around his doughnut shaped anal ring, and inside his hole.
 I slap his ass to signal I’m done.

“[i]Thanks. Now just lie down on your back. I will take care of the rest.[/i]”

He reach over for a kiss. Whoa. His lips are smoother than expected. There’s some hair between our lips, but I can get used to that.
 His tongue goes inside, exploring my teeth. I slap my tongue to his in greeting.
 Meanwhile, one of his hooves is stroking my dick, lubing and stimulating it.
 “[i]I’m about as hard as I can be[/i]” I say, breaking the kiss.

He adjusts his position. Then his horn lights up. The same faint sound from before, and I feel something warm and comfortable wrap around my dick. Watching it, I see a faint glow around it, and Jame’s ass. The glow is somehow bending and aiming my dick. Fuck. He could jerk me off with whatever that is.

Finally he seems satisfi...
 “[i]Ahh...[/i]”
 “[i]Oooh...[/i]”

We both gasp and moan.
 My dick is inside. Damn it’s warm. Like, really warm.
 “[i]Fuck... Are you running a fever or something? [b]This is amazing![/b][/i]”

“[i]Nah man. Us ponies have a higher core temperature. Now let’s see if you last longer than I did.[/i]”
 He starts doing squats.
 “[i]Ah! Ah! [b]Ah[/b]![/i]”
 His dick is flopping on my belly, leaking cum.
 Oof... I’m getting really close. I’m trying to hold it.
 A drop of cum hits my face. Just out of range of my tongue. Damn.
 I reach out, holding his sides, trying to assist his movements.
 He makes a face. Wait. He’s ticklish?
 I decide to tickle him, lightly probing the sides of his barrel with my fingers.
 “[i]Bwah-hahaha![/i]”
 His rythm falters... But he’s suddenly getting stiff again.
 He continues squatting, in an uneven rhythm.
 “[i]Ahh. James, I don’t think I can...[/i]”
 I stop tickling. I can’t. It takes all my effort to...
 “[b][i]AAAAAAH![/i][/b]”
 I cum! Fuuuck. This is good. Wait... James is still at it.
 “[i]Ah... Ah. Ah! [b]Aaaaah[/b]![/i]”
 Splash! A rope of cum shoots out, hitting a long line from the window, over the window, my face, and into my open mouth.
 Damn. It tastes almost like honey. Yum.
 A second shot falls short of my chest.

He finally stops. And collapse on top of me. His face hugging my chest.

We lie there, without words, for a few minutes.
 After a while, my softening cock slips out of his ass with a pop.

“[i]So... Did I last longer?[/i]” I break the silence.
 James shuffles forward, meeting my face.
 “[i]I don’t know, and I don’t care.[/i]” Going in for another kiss.
 This time, I’m taking the initiative, exploring his teeth.
 They are all flat. Odd, but ponies, like horses, are herbivores. It’s to be expected.

This time, he breaks the kiss, and rolls off me. I see his dick slowly shrinking into a sheath.
 Seeing a blanket by the end of the bed, I take this as a good time for a nap. I pull on it, cover us both, and shut my eyes.

!highlight!Chapter 4: Cutie slice acquisition program

I wake, feeling something smooth and wet down at my crotch... wait... my dick... uuh... this feels great. I open my eyes. Eric is sucking my dick.

“[i]How... how long was I out?[/i]”
 letting my dick go. He replies
 “[i]About an hour. Dinner’s almost ready. I figured I should wake you[/i]”

I roll over, James is already gone.

“[i]He woke up a while ago, freaked out about something with the robe, then ran off. I donno why. I’m sure he’ll be back.[/i]”

“[i]Some food would be nice.[/i]”

“[i]Get a shower first. You really do stink. Your clothes are washed, dried folded and waiting for you in the bathroom[/i]”

“[i]Huh?[/i]”

“[i]What?[/i]”

“[i]You’re sober?[/i]”

“[i]More or less. I’m a pegasus. I got a very fast metabolism.[/i]”

“[i]Pegasus? Ah. The greek myth. Horses with wings. I get it. That makes sense[/i]”

“[i]Uh, you don’t...? Ok. Here’s a quick rundown. Regular ponies are typically called ground or earth ponies. This is translated from the local word for it.
 Ponies with wings are called pegasi, this is adapted from greek myth, as you summarized. Lacking any better word to translate from the local language.
 Likewise, ponies with horns are called unicorns.[/i]”

“[i]Those are the different kinds of ponies?[/i]”

“[i]Mostly. There are thestrals too. They are like pegesi, but more bat-like in appearance. And then there are the alicorns. A portmanteau of ‘all’, and ‘unicorn’. Those are super rare, and we’re not able to source any DNA to clone one.[/i]”

“[i]Sounds like you know a lot about this.[/i]”

“[i]I’m a writer. It’s my thing.[/i]”

Finding the bathrobe thrown on the floor, I put it on.
 Exiting James’ room, I quickly find the bathroom.
 As promised, my clothes, neatly folded on a stepstool in front of the sink. As is the stuff I left on the shelf in the laundry room. That’s nice.

I spend a second looking at the toilet. I don’t feel a need to use it. After all, I did rather dramatically empty my bladder not too long ago. But I should try it out at least.

A series of pictograms explains how to use it, with both human and pony illustrations.

I squat down as illustrated. I give it some pressure. This feels silly, but I can see how this posision might make it easier to shit. Not that I’m gonna sh... uh... never mind. I feel something slowly coming.
 PLOP
 Uh. Ugh. I looked at it. Wait. That was more than just a nugget. Seems some liquids came out as well. Odd. No, it’s James’ cum, isn’t it?
 Well, I guess I needed to shit after all.
“[b][i]AH![/i][/b]”
 Just as I am about to stand up, there is a warm splash of water hitting me right in my anus.
 Fuck me, this thing for a self-aiming bidet installed. Probably more magic.
 As I stand up, the toilet automatically flush. Presumably there’s a watercloset hidden in the wall. In fact, now that I look for it, I see the seams for what must be the maintenance door.
 I think I can get used to this.

Finally, I have a look in the shower. There’s some kind of soap there.
 The dispensers seem to all be made of wood.
 I can’t read the labels, but thankfully someone had written over them in tick black markers. ‘Mane Shampoo’, ‘coat shampoo’ ‘conditioner’, ‘universal soap’. Convenient. Less convenient though, where’s the valves?
 Uh. There’s foot pedals. Or I suppose hoof pedals. Wood-carved pictograms suggests their functions.
 One is for pressure, one for spray-mode, one for temperature, and finally a switch for the hoof-held sprayer.
 I suppose pedals are more convenient for ponies.

There is only thing thing missing for a shower.

I move the stool, and check the drawers under the sink.
 There. Towels. Excellent.

I disrobe, and walk in. I’m definitely filthy.
 Playing with the pedals, I get a nice light shower going, getting wet.
 Manes are like head-hair on humans, so I take a handful of the mane-shampoo, and rub it into my headhair, beard and pubes. Then scrub everywhere else with the universal soap.
 Then I increase the pressure.

Goddamn I needed this. All the sweat, dried pee and cum. Finally clean again.
 I zone out.

I don’t know how long I have been in the shower. But my fingers have gotten wrinkly.
 I switch to the hoof-held sprayer, which is a bit awkward to hold in my hand. But I manage. I wash out the remaining soap, shut down the shower, and walk out.

I dry myself with the towel. Finding a hamper, I throw it there... and that’s when I notice another drying circle. Off course they would install one in the bathroom. Now I feel stupid.

Well, what’s done is done.
 I put on my white socks.
 Next goes my boxers. I nimbly drag the strap more out as I drag it past the spot on the thigh where my cannula is installed. I had it snag on clothes before. That’s annoying.
 As always, it goes perfectly.

Next up, my pants. I pull them on as is routine. Again, I stretch them out when passing the spot in my thigh. This is trickier, and there is less flex in my pants. So I need to feel for there the cannula is... huh. That’s strange.

I pull the pants back down and inspect my thigh. It’s gone.
 Where my cannula were inserted, there’s just an ugly wound. What? When? How?
 Uh. The fucking. Right. James threw the robe off me while we fucked. My pump was in there. Where is it?

It’s not on the stepstool.
 I check the robe, where I left it. It’s not there either.

Half-dressed I rush back to James’ bedroom. It’s not there either.
 Then Eric’s words sink in.
 James had freaked out about something with a bathrobe, then ran off.

“[i]W-whats the matter, Ash?[/i]” Mia is at the door, and look at me with concern.
 “[i]It seems... It’s nothing, I guess. Did James tell you when he will be back?[/i]”

I pull my pants back on, no more need to be gentle about it. And then my shirt.

“[i]No. B-but I’m sure he will b-be back soon. He’s not one t-t-to miss dinner.[/i]”

“[i]I sure hope so. Because I think James just took my insulin pump.[/i]”

Putting the rest of my stuff in my pocket, with the notable exception of my missing insulin pump... Humm, do I even need all of this anymore? Heh. Habits, I suppose.

“[i]Uh. T-that’s important, t-then? This pump?[/i]”

“[i]Well, yes. Don’t you know what insulin pumps are?[/i]”

“[i]C-cut me s-some slack. I’m j-just 17, and I have been homeschooled for over two years. A-and not by ch-choice. I-it makes sense I don-don’t know s-some stuff.[/i]”

“[i]You’re only 17, and you work here?... uh. Your aunt Rebecca, right. She brought you here? Why?[/i]”

“[i]I’ll tell you over d-dinner. It’s a l-long story.[/i]”

Since my tour were cut short, I decide to walk around a bit before joining the dinner table. I walk back down to corridor toward’s James’ room. There’s a door at the end of it. I open it, and find a balcony. It’s there that I am met with an amazing view of untouched nature. Rolling hills with sparse vegetation. Some wildlife grazing. At least I presume it’s wildlife. Who knows in this crazy place.
 It’s a long balcony, with two doors. There’s a window into the laundry room between them.
 That’s a weird choice. Maybe it was not originally meant to be the laundry room?
 I reach the other door. Unsurprisingly I find another corridor, at the far side of the laundry room from where I started.

Along the left, there are only two doors. The laundry, and what must be another toilet.
 On the right, there are five doors. Oddly enough, two of the doors have round plaques, like the laundry and toilet doors have. These must be public rooms, then.
 I open the first door. The plaque resembles a TV. Huh. Looks like a lounge, or maybe a living room. Ah. There’s a large flatscreen TV. That makes sense.
 Next room. A cube with... drawers? A cabinet? I open the door, and... computer. It’s a large computer. Well. That was unexpected.

I pass the toilet room. It’s likely a duplicate of the one on the other side. The toilets might even be wall to wall.

The remaining three doors all have square plaques, none of them are blank.
 That makes sense. I got 5 dorm mates, I don’t have a room yet, and I have only seen James and Mia’s rooms.

The first plaque looks like polaroid photos pictures and some scissors. I don’t know who’s that is yet.
 Next room. That’s a noose. Must be Happy’s room, then.
 The last door has a pen and...
 “[i]There you are, Ash. I’m so, so sorry about the pump.[/i]”
 I look to my left, and realize I have looped around back to the dining room. James is back, holding a syringe in his magical grip, and my pump.
 “[i]Is that insulin?[/i]” Right now, the practical question matters the most.

“[i]Yes. I worked with the nurse to figure out your dose for dinner. It took a while to figure it out. And the clinic’s insulin supply were all expired, so we had to extract the insulin from your pump. There were some spillage, but we saved two doses. Again, I’m so sorry. I did what I could.[/i]”

“[i]You’re forgiven, James. I  got more in my travel kit.[/i]”
 “[i]Ash. I don’t think you realize. After you signed that contract, you’re not even allowed in the parking lot. Not without an escort.[/i]”
 “[i]Uh. But I need to go home, pack up my stuff.[/i]”
 “[i]Sarah and... well. Our people will arrange it. Now my last refresher course on diabetics is over three decades out of date, so I need to ask. Do you take your dose before or after dinner?[/i]”

“[i]Now, please. Speaking of... OW! careful[/i]” James telekineticly injects me in a vein, near where my tube were inserted.
 “[i]Sorry. I’m using to doing this with hands. Doesn’t help that I have been retired for 30 years.[/i]”
 “[i]What were you? A doctor?[/i]”
 “[i]No, I’m just a paramedic.[/i]”
 “[i]So, ambulance driver?[/i]”
 “[i]Briefly. I mostly took jobs in the private sector.[/i]”
 “[i]Ok. So. What’s for dinner?[/i]”

“[i]Well, you get a Harmony burger.[/i]”
 James levitates an empty box to me. I examine it.
 ‘[i]Test-batch #187 - 60% Alexander, 40% Happy Noose[/i]’
 “[i]Test batch?[/i]”
 “[i]Yeah, we get the leftovers after the testers are done. I think this mix was a reject, still good though.[/i]”
 “[i]Who’s Alexander?[/i]”
 “[i]One of our colleges, he lives upstairs in the top floor dorm, right next to Rebecca’s office.[/i]”

“[i]A-anyway, you get a lame Harmony b-burger, while we get delicious h-hayburgers.[/i]” Mia say with a smirk, as she lifts the tray with her wings.
 James lights his horn.
 “[i]Hey, I can do it, James[/i]”
 “[i]I know, I’m ready just in case.[/i]”
 The burger tray lands on the table.
 The three ‘hayburgers’ and the one normal burger are surrounded by French fries and ketchup dip.

“[i]Those are hayburgers?[/i]”
 “[i]Yeah. Local delicacy. Well, the native version is more of a hay sandwich, but we added burger buns to it.[/i]”
 “[i]So you no longer eat meat?[/i]”
 “[i]Off course we do. And believe me, we taste amazing.[/i]” Eric comments
 “[i]Damn, that must be weird[/i]”
 “[i]It gets weirder. I sometimes eat my own meat. Real auto-cannibalism.[/i]” he boasts
 “[i]Eating too much meat gives us indigestion. But pegasi can handle it well, as they have a faster metabolism, and evolved to eat fish.[/i]” James explains.

“[i]Uh hey. Just remebered. Mia, you said you’d tell me how you ended up working here?[/i]”

“[i]Are you sure that’s fine... Mia?[/i]” James asks, in a tone that oddly seems more confrontational that of concern.
 “[i]Y-yes, it’s fine. I talked it over with... with my th-therapist. I should tell Ash about it.[/i]”

“[i]Is there some context I’m missing?[/i]”

“[i]Almost three years ago now. A landslide killed my entire family.[/i]” No stutters. Just pure emotion. A tear rolls down her face.
 “[i]It turned out that much of our neighborhood were built on top of quick clay deposit. It happened late at night, and my house was in the middle of the slidezone.[/i]”

“[i]That’s horrible...[/i]”

“[i]Yes. But I had stuck off to a party at a friend’s house. I had done that a lot.[/i]”

“[i]So you lived?[/i]”

“My two brothers, mom and dad, and my grandma who were visiting that weekend. They... they all died. All while I was partying. We didn’t even notice the landslide, the music was just that loud.”

“Damn. I can’t imagine...”

“[i]I spent a week in foster care until my aunt was granted custody. I moved in with her, but she was always working. Most days I was left alone with a babysitter, a tutor, or some other adult.
 After three months, I decided to follow her to work. She was in a hurry for some reason. She didn’t even notice that I stowed away in the car’s trunk.
 The car was parked by some cargo loading area, I followed my aunt into what I later learned was Harmony Corp.
 She took an elevator. Only one floor on it, so I hid nearby, and when the car returned, I took it after her.
 The elevator led to an underground lake. I could not find my aunt anywhere, but I saw a guy walk out of the lake[/i]”

“[i]Yeah, that was Alex. He told me the story over beer once. He saw you there, but were too tired to think about it.[/i]” Eric fills in.

“[i]Right, so after the man, Alex, had left with the elevator car, I explored the lake. Suddenly I were here, in the embassy.
 Suddenly a pony walks up to me, asking directions to the clinic, in broken English.[/i]”

“[i]So then what?[/i]”

“[i]What do you think? I wanted to move in. Turns out my aunt was really living here most of the time, only pretending to live in our house. Do you have any idea how crazy that is? So, I became a meat-worker, at just 15 years old.[/i]”

“[i]That’s... huh. Somehow that’s both creepy and wholesome at the same time.[/i]”

“[i]H-how so?[/i]”

“[i]You end up living where your aunt work, so she doesn’t have to commute as much. But at the same time, you end up working with what, from what I see, as a bunch of sexual perverts. And I suppose I can include myself in that.[/i]”

“[i]And you don’t think I fit in? I casually lost my virginity at that party to one of my classmates.[/i]”

“[i]Uh.[/i]”

“[i]Yeah. But still, my aunt made up a ‘no sex’ rule. Not until I’m 18. I hate her for that.[/i]”

“[i]No you don’t.[/i]” Eric corrects

“[i]I suppose. She means well, I guess.[/i]”

I finish up the burger and fries. It’s the best burger I have had in years.

“[i]I need to get back. I need need my travel bag, and apparently that might apparently be difficult to get. So I can’t spend much more time waiting.[/i]”

“[i]I’ll come with.[/i]”
 Mia offers

“[i]I got a therapy session in an hour or so anyway. No harm showing up early.[/i]”

“[i]Ok. Lead the way, I guess.[/i]”
 Wait... she has therapy lessons this late in the afternoon? Odd.
[hr]
Once outside, Mia enters the lake with practiced ease. She goes for a swim, dives under water, and disappears.

Huh. I should try that. Well. Maybe not with clothes on.

I walk in until the water reach my hips, then squat down, just as I did last time.

The same feeling wash over me. And I stand up.
 I'm back in the cave, on Earth.
 I walk to the drying circle. The same cold blow-dryer effect dries me.
 Stepping off, I look around for Mia, but I don't see her.
 I do see a couple of building at the back of the cave. I didn't notice them before. But then, they are behind the elevator.
 There's a bench outside one of the buildings, I see a man sitting there.
 "[i]Hey, did you see a pegasus pony walk past here?[/i]"

The man grins. Huh. There's something oddly familiar about him. 

Stubby beard, a visible beer belly. He's got a very uneven tan on his exposed skin. A scarf is wrapped around his left arm, he is wearing a white shirt, blue pants, a green fanny pack. Huh. Just like mine...

"[i]Jeez! I didn't expect your faceblindness to be [b]this[/b] bad[/i]"

"[i]What?[/i]"

"[i]I'm you, stupid.[/i]"

"[i]Are you some time traveling me from the future here to tell me not to take this job?[/i]"

"[i]Um, no. Guess again.[/i]"
 He tugs on the scarf. it's red and white, just like... no wait that [b]is[/b] Mia's scarf.

"[i]There's the look I was waiting for. You may refer to me as Double Face, or DF for short. But never call me that in public.[/i]"

"[i]What are you?[/i]"

"[i]Your translation team settled on 'Changeling' for my species. We are shape-shifting predators.[/i]"

My duplicate opens the gate of the industrial elevator me and Sarah took to get down here.

"[i]Wait, so Mia isn't real?[/i]" I ask 'me', as we enter the elevator

"[i]The real Mia is upstairs, re-taking her highschool math exam for the third time. She's been at it all day.[/i]"

"[i]So. That was you with the others, already when I met the others past the portal, then. And then it was you... wait. You masturbated while disguised as Mia?[/i]"

"[i]Huh? I did?[/i]"
 "[i]You didn't remember? It was rather explicit.[/i]"

A green flame runs down his body as he suddenly disappears. No. I look Down. not disappear. He's transforming into...
 "[i]Why yes, so I did[/i]" 'Mia' says.
 "[i]You had to transform to remember?[/i]"
 "[i]My memory is very compartmentalized. It's the only way I can remain sane with my special talent.[/i]"

"[i]Talent?[/i]"
 "[i]Most changelings merely look, sound and smell like their targets. I become my target. I think and act like them. When I was left alone, I grabbed that dildo without thinking about it, and did what the real Mia would have done. I had no reason to do otherwise.[/i]"

She transforms again, this time to a... vertically challenged human woman in her 40's.

"[i]Which is a habit I tried to stop her from. But nooo. She would not listen. She's a brat, but she's my br... err... Rebecca's brat[/i]"

"[i]I take it you're Rebecca, now[/i]?"

"[i]Yes, Mr. Ash. At least her human form. She has been a pony for six years now.[/i]"

"[i]Ah... Wait. If Rebecca has been a pony for six years, and Mia moved in with her aunt three years so, then...?[/i]"

"[i]That's right. That was me Mia followed that day. I was acting as her legal guardian, pretending to be Rebecca, for three whole months, until that incident.[/i]"

"[i]Do you just casually transform into anyone?[/i]"

"[i]Sadly no. While working for Harmony, I'm only permitted to transform to people who consent to it.[/i]"

"[i]I don't remember being asked...[/i]"

She transforms back into me

"[i]Let me guess. You skimmed the contract?[/i]"

"[i]Yes?[/i]"

"[i]Figured. Well, as you, I figure. Both Sarah and Rebecca would have expected you to read it. There's an opt out clause you could have signed, but by default, you have consented to me copying your likeness.

That reminds me. I have a job to do. I'm gonna need the pin-code for your phone, your keys, and any potentially relevant information on anything that might happen in the next couple of weeks.[/i]"

"[i]You don't already know that, by becoming me?[/i]"

"[i]My talents only goes so far. I can copy your feelings, behavior, trained skills even. Not exactly, but enough to fake it. I can even read some surface thoughts, which is how I knew to also duplicate your missing fanny pack.
 But I can't recall somepony elses memories or secrets[/i]"

"[i]I see. But are you doing this for everyone? Live their lives for them, I mean?[/i]"

"[i]No, mainly just Mia and Rebecca. They are not ready to legally die yet. It would cause problems for the company, apparently.
 As for the rest of you, you don't stay in this country, so I don't remain you for long. Once you are hired, we work a paper trail so that you appear in Germany, renting an appropriate apartment at walking distance from the meat packing plant. Then some of my siblings living there makes sure you are making some appearances, then we arrange for your tragic death using real remains of your human body.[/i]"

"[i]Wow. That's very elaborate and complicated.[/i]"
 "[i]It has to be. But this kind of thing is what us changelings do best.[/i]"

"[i]By the way. Is that fanny pack real? I need the spare tube and inserter tool for my insulin pump.[/i]"

"[i]No, sadly this fanny pack is completely organic. With some effort, I could create a pocket, and even make the zipper functional, but I can't replicate the contents.[/i]"

The elevator comes to a stop, the gate opens.

"[i]Well, this is where we part ways. For now anyway. Give me your keys, and I will get you your missing bag[/i]"

Do I trust this creature?

"[i]Some last rules. Only call me by who I appear as, never reveal who I am, even in casual conversation. If you must, you are to refer to Double Face, in third person that's important. And never ever mention Double Face to an Equestrian, unless you know that they already know. Happy Noose knows, so it's safe to talk about me in your dorm. And lastly, you know it's me when you see this scarf. But always act as if you don't know. You got that?[/i]"

"[i]To be perfectly honest, you scare me a bit. But if you can get me my bag, that will help.[/i]"
 I toss 'me' my keys.

"[i]I happen to know that Sarah is expecting you. In the conference room, same as before. I'll be back with your bag soon.[/i]"
[hr]
Left alone, I try to remember which room I was in.
 The building isn't all that big. So there's only a few doors to check

It feels like a lifetime ago. But checking my watch, it's only been six hours.
 It's been a while, but not exactly a 'lifetime'.

I open a door. The window in this room is facing the ocean. Definitely not the right room. But inside sits...
 "[i]Mia?[/i]"
 Mia is sitting there, surrounded by loose paper and schoolbooks.
 She is writing with her right wingtip.
 "[i]Yes?[/i]" She turns around.
 "[i]Who are you?[/i]"
 Of course. She's not wearing a scarf.
 "[i]Sorry, sir? I need you to leave.[/i]"
 A woman stands in the corner.

"[i]You can give me a minute, can't you? This must be new g-guy.[/i]"
 "[i]One minute. And I'm not pausing the clock. And no handshaking either, keep your distance.[/i]"
 Right. Mia's taking an exam. This must be her proctor.

"[i]DF told me he was gonna... oops. Um. Do you know who DF is, yet?[/i]"
 "[i]Yes. We were just talking. Huh. You are stuttering a lot less than he... err, she did?[/i]"
 "[i]I do? M-must be an old habit. I used to stutter a lot more.[/i]"
 "[i]I'm looking for Sarah. Do you what what room she's in?[/i]"
 "[i]She's in the conference room, just two doors that way[/i]" she points with a hoof.
 "[i]Thank you.[/i]" Just as I am about to close the door
 "[i]What's your name?[/i]"
 "[i]Uh, right. Sorry. This is the first time we meet, for real, I mean. My name's Ash[/i]"
 "[i]Like the p-p-Pokemon character?[/i]"
 "[i]Yes.[/i]" I reply with a slight tone of annoyance. Thank god Pokemon's not as popular as it used to be.
 "[i]Same name, pure coincidence. I was named after grandma Ashly.[/i]"
 I used to love Pokemon when I was a kid. It was fun that the main character had my name. It made me feel that I were him. That got less fun as I grew up.
 "[i]Uh. Well, see you later a-Ash.[/i]"
 The proctor facepalms
 "[i]This is my fault for not putting up a sign[/i]" I hear her mumble, as I close the door.

I finally find the correct room.
 "[i]...and I'm telling you, that camera needs to be there.[/i]"
 "[i]It's under a grate, at the washing station. All they would see is shit. Literally just your shit.[/i]"
 Charlie is arguing with a middle aged woman, while Sarah is busy taking notes.
 "[i]Yes. It's scat.[/i]"
 "[i]Charlie, we're selling snuff.[/i]"
 "[i]So? I'll just edit two versions.[/i]"
 "[i]Fine. We will just market is a bonus video.[/i]" Sarah concludes the argument

"[i]Hey. Is this a bad time?[/i]"
 "[i]No. Ash. Hey, James told me what happened. Are you ok?[/i]"
 "[i]I will be, once, um. Just to confirm, this Double Face do work for you, right?[/i]"
 "[i]So you met them? Good. Please sit down.[/i]"
 "[i]It's getting late. If its ok, I would like to go home, and sleep?[/i]"

"[i]Ah, right. Sorry about this, Ash. Since the emergency order came, everything has been happening at once.
 Have you been assigned a room yet?[/i]"
 "[i]No. Can't I just sleep at home?[/i]"

"[i]Ok... more paperwork. Let me think. Double's busy, so...[/i]" she sighs
 "[i]Beth, do you mind babysitting our new guy?[/i]"

"[i]I suppose. You got a spare bed?[/i]"
 "[i]Um. Well, I got a convertible couch. Um, who's this?[/i]"
 "[i]Sorry, how rude of me. I'm Beth, the butcher. It's my job to make sure you meat-ponies are neatly cut to pieces for our customers. And a couch will do, thank you.[/i]"

"[i]Then it's settled. Tomorrow you'll pack up what you want to bring, and say goodbye to your old home.[/i]"
 "[i]Just like that?[/i]"

"[i]Normally we wait a day or two, but might as well. You should write a will, but that can wait. Just make sure to backdate it by at least three months, and send it to our lawyers.[/i]"
 "[i]No need for that. Already wrote one before the liver transplant.[/i]"

"[i]You had a liver transplant?[/i]" Beth asks
 "[i]Yes, he was all prepped and ready, sadly the liver proved nonviable and he was sent home. Good god, I forgot about that. It's just one month ago too, and written with good reason.[/i]"
 "[i]I'm still high up on that waiting list, by the way. The hospital could have another liver for my any day now.[/i]"
 "[i]Yes, it's in the briefing packet I sent to DF. He will find a way to 'accidentally' evade it, in a way that does not look suspicious. He's good at that.[/i]"
 "[i]Never thought I'd want to avoid that transplant. It took years to convince the doctors it was serious enough.[/i]"
 "[i]You are not the first to think that. Still, regarding your will. If you want to update it, our lawyers can fix it so it looks like it was written back then. Considering what's going on with your family and all.[/i]"
 "[i]How do you...? How much do you know about me?[/i]"
 "[i]Like I explained, Ash. We monitor every candidate closely. We know pretty much everything.[/i]"
 She shuffles some notes.
 "[i]I also know you and James had some fun today. The room next to his are available. Do you want it?[/i]"
 "[i]I guess so.[/i]"
 "[i]Good. I'll have Bill fix up the access crystal for you when he arrives tomorrow.[/i]"
 "[i]Access crystal?[/i]"
 "[i]Basically a smart doorlock. I'll show you how it works tomorrow.[/i]" Charlie butts in
 "[i]Good... No wait. No you aren't. You'll be recovering in the nursery.[/i]"
 "[i]Fuck, that's right. All this talk is just so abstract that I forgot.[/i]"
 "[i]On that topic, Charlie. Are you sure you want to be a filly?[/i]"
 "[i]Sure. Gotta try it at some point. So why not now? Happy are always talking about how amazing sex is when she's in heat. I want to experience that.[/i]"
 "[i]That's good enough reason, I suppose. I don't care.[/i]"

"[i]Speaking of Happy. Ash, before we send you home, can you help us with something?[/i]"
 "[i]Uh, sure.[/i]"
 "[i]We want to trigger Happy's cutie mark early, so we can butcher her.[/i]"
 "[i]You want to butcher Happy? She's so little.[/i]"
 "[i]Yes. The situation is that dire. The queen just barely survived an assassination attempt. A virgin fresh cutie slice is just what she needs.[/i]"
 "[i]The queen of Equestria eats meat? I thought ponies didn't normally eat meat?[/i]"
 "[i]No, not that queen. I'm talking about queen in the south. Our changeling friends.[/i]"
 "[i]Uh. So why don't you butcher somepony older?[/i]"

"[i]I guess we need to explain the basics. Beth?[/i]"
 "[i]Alright. Pony meat 101 condensed, coming up.
 Ponies of Equestria contain a lot of magic. There are tiny microscopic sacks under the skin, mixed into the muscle tissue, we believe these contain their magic. While we don't entirely understand it, these tiny organs is makes the meat taste so amazing.

The concentration of magic is not even around a pony's body, either.
 Pegesi have more magic consentrated in their wings. And you should definitely try a Pegasus wing one day. Unicorns have a lot in their horn. Sadly the horn is not edible.
 And earth ponies have a lot in their legs, especially in their hips.

But common to all, is a particularly dense part just underneath their cutie marks.
 This is what we call The Cutie Slice.
 Most of a pony's magic is gathered here, at their very symbol of fate, talent and being. Usually there's slightly more on their dominant side.

Now as for changeling biology, they are even more alien than ponies.
 They live almost exclusively on magic.
 They can absorb this magic though the air when near pony who is experiencing strong emotions. This is generally deemed safer than eating a pony, which would be more efficient, but more noticeable.

This is where we come in. The changelings don't have to hunt ponies for meat, if we can sell it to them. So we reserve the most concentrated meat, the cutie slice, for them. A typical cutie slice contains so much magic it could keep a changeling saturated for over a month, or heal a badly injured in remarkably short time.

The potency of a cutie slice is even higher shortly after a pony gains their mark. We're talking hundreds of times higher.
 Now, this fades fast, even after harvest. So it's normally not worth it. But the queen has secretly taken shelter in Old Grazers Inn, in hope we can get her one.[/i]"

"[i]So why not take Eric? He just celebrated getting his.[/i]"
 "[i]Yes. He got it yesterday. That would have been recent enough, if barely, if it weren't for him getting drunk just when we needed him.[/i]"
 "[i]I see. So, how do ponies earn their mark?[/i]"
 "[i]By discovering what we are good at, or destined for.[/i]" Charlie explains. "[i]The natives can't predict it, and it's considered a major coming of age event. But since we are fast-growing clones with imprinted minds, our marks and talents tend to be more or less the same each time we are reborn. It still difficult to figure out what triggers the mark. But Happy is one of the few who have figured hers out.
 She got it nailed down to a ritual, and it works more times that not. But she can't do it alone.[/i]"

"[i]That's where we like you to help out, Ash. We could get someone else, but she is your dorm-mate, and you're here.[/i]" Sarah takes over
 "[i]I suppose. What would I need to do?[/i]"
 "[i]The ritual includes three particular triggers, and the preparation itself invokes two others. Either one might do it, but it's easier to just do all three at once.[/i]"
 "[i]I see. So what are they?[/i]"
 "[i]I'll let her explain when you do it. But here's the important part. You need to snuff her as soon as possible after the mark appears. Preferably before the glow fades. Can you do that?[/i]"
 "[i]What? Me?[/i]"
 "[i]It will be a very intimate setting. It's best you do it, rather than involving a third party.[/i]"
 "[i]You want me to fuck her, and kill her in bed?[/i]"
 "[i]Well, almost.[/i]"
 "[i]I'll try. I can't promise I'll be able to do it. It's one thing to fap to snuff, but to actually participate in it? I can't imagine.[/i]"
 "[i]You will be fine.[/i]"

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.
 A teenage girl opens the door. A green fanny pack in her hands. My fanny pack.
 "[i]Here's your bag, Ash.[/i]"
 "[i]Woah. Thanks[/i]"

Grabbing a glass of water, I finally take my now very late double dose of cortisol. My doctor's gonna be disappointed. Doubled doses will only make my liver worse. But then, my next appointment is after my scheduled death, so screw that.
 "[i]Why are you in that form, by the way?[/i]"

"[i]I need to memorize Mia's exam, and replicate it at her school tomorrow.[/i]" She explains
 Ah. That makes sense. Even though she's homeschooled, she'd still need to take the exams at the school.

"[i]Let Rebecca know that I think Mia will get a passing grade. If I grade it, it will be.[/i]" The proctor comments.
 "[i]Thank you, miss Fríðasdóttir. And I very much appreciate the risks you take.[/i]"
 "[i]Well, the real Mia did do the exam, without cheating. We're still following the spirit of the laws. Now, about your end of our bargain?[/i]"
 "[i]Yes, on the day after tomorrow, if that works for you?[/i]"
 "[i]It will, thank you.[/i]" Proctor Fríðasdóttir closes the door.

"[i]What was that all about?[/i]" I ask
 "[i]The proctor wasn't taking a monetary bribe. So I gave her an intellectual bribe instead. Now I owe her a visit to Equestria.[/i]"
 "[i]I see. You do this a lot? Bribing public officials?[/i]"
 "[i]When I have to. Only when I have to.[/i]"

"[i]Now with that distraction all over with, let's get back to the last adjustments of the plan[/i]" Sarah gets the discussion back on track.
 "[i]I just have a question.[/i]"
 "[i]Yes?[/i]"
 "[i]When are we doing this?[/i]"
 "[i]Now.[/i]"
 "[i]Wait, right now?[/i]"
 "[i]Within the hour. I was gonna get you after this meeting, hoping you'd help out. You coming early saves us time.[/i]"
[hr]
The briefing went on for over an hour.

Charlie's death has a script, full of cues and directions. Most from Charlie himself.
 They even set up an emergency signal for Beth to end his life quickly, in case he can't take the pain.
 Eventually Happy joined, confirmed the room was finished, and the last minutes changes did not require any further modifications
 Sadly, setting up the room didn't trigger her cutie mark.
 Apparently that had done it trice before.

Sarah leaves to take care of some more paperwork, while the rest of us board the old shaft-elevator down into the cave.
 I can see Charlie shake with nervousness. Yet Happy seems quite calm about this.
 "[i]The two of you are really ready to die, just like that?[/i]"
 "[i]S-sure. I mean. I have done it before. This will be the first time I have gone though w-with planning something this elaborate though[/i]" Charlie explains.
 "[i]On m-my last death, I was just a participant, the extra. At the end of the act, I was strung up, left dangling, unable to breathe. I loved it. And on m-my very first death, I was just gassed. Nitrogen chamber. C-completely painless[/i]"
 "[i]If it gets too much, just give me the signal.[/i]" Beth assures him
 "[i]A... and you, Happy, you're really ready...[/i]"
 "[i]The-question-is-are-you-ready-Ashy?[/i]"
 "[i]What?[/i]"
 "[i]We-are-relying-on-you-to-execute-me-at-just-the-right-moment![/i]"
 "[i]Uh. I will do my best.[/i]"
 "[i]If you can't do it, Ash, just yell for me. Even if it might ruin the recording, the slaughter is more important.[/i]"

The elevator lands at the cave floor.
 Beth and Charlie walk off in one direction.
 I move to follow.
 "[i]This way, Ash[/i]" Happy corrects me.

Beth and Charlie heads to what is labeled as the preparation room, while Happy is guiding me to the observation room.
 I open the door.
 "[i]Again, you're really fine with this?[/i]"
 "[i]Come-on-Ashy-this-will-be-fun! Just... Take off your clothes. If you have to use the knife, it's-gonna-get-messy![/i]"

Well, might as well.
 The observation room is completely private. And apparently Happy's little ritual involves sex.
 Well, I prefer dudes, but I'm not saying no to pussy when offered. Especially not when it's dripping with arousal.

"[i]Come-on-Ashy! I-wanna-get-started![/i]" She says, tying a noose without even looking, and wears it around her neck.
 I drop of my clothes just inside the door,
 I pick up the far end of the rope. And tie the knife's sheath to my left forearm using some of the leftover rope.

The observation room is dark. I can barely make out anything. At the far wall, there's a large two-way mirror, showing the well-lit killroom. Facing it are three rows of padded benches. Is this what's called bleachers?  I reach up to the ceiling, where I was told to expect a durable support rod. It was originally design to hang camera equipment, or even seats. I was assured it could easily handle Happy's weight.
 Finding it, I loop the rope around. Happy grins.

I sit down on the front bench, and Happy looks at me with anticipation, and starts masturbating. Right there. While I'm watching.
 "[i]Uh-come-on![/i]"
 "[i]What?[/i]"
 "[i]You-gotta-get-stiffer-than-that?![/i]"
 Damn, I was not even realizing. Well, it's the plan, is... woah!
 "[i]Take a deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath, Ashy-boy[/i]"
 She has jumped up on my face. Again. And now she's pushing her pussy onto my nose!
 I comply, taking in her smell. Holy crap that's sweet. I reach out with my tongue. Holy crap, that's a sweet taste.
 "[i]Tee-hee. That-tickles-Ashy![/i]"
 She jumps back down. Thank fuck for that, my neck was really feeling that.

While we were busy, Beth and Charlie has entered the kill room. Beth keeps waving, pointing at the camera.
 Uh.
 Finding the control panel on the wall next to me, I activate the camera. I presume there is some status-light, as she stops waving.
 "[i]Finally[/i]"
 Ahhh... Happy does one long lick on my now very erect dick, then starts climbing up on me.
 Charlie and Beth are talking, looking towards one of cameras. I can't make out what they are saying.
 Apparently done, they walk off somwhere. I can't see where. Happy is getting in the way, situating herself to ride my dick, facing away from me.
 "[i]Ready?[/i]" She asks.
 "[i]Yes[/i]"
 ...
 "[i]Uh right.[/i]"
 I tug on the rope until I support most of her weight.
 She moans in pleasure, and lets her legs go. [b]Oof[/b]! That's a lot of sudden weight.
 I can't quite hold her, she drops, impaling herself onto my dick. Damn, it went right in.
 Fuck, I think she's even warmer than James.
 With Happy sitting on my... well, not my lap. With Happy now sitting on my dick, I can see over her.

Charlie has been secured to some kind of railing, over a grate. Beth is working on a hose with a thin head.
 She tests the hose.

Happy moves her hoof, slowly rubbing herself. As if sitting on my dick is not enough for her.

Beth goes behind Charlie, inserts the head of the hose, I can't see from here, but I can guess where. The hose turns on. I can see Charlie's belly move as the water rushes in. Woah! He clearly likes it. He got his tongue out, moaning.
 Beth removes the hose, and charlie bends his head down. It looks like maybe he's pushing.
 I can see something splatter between his legs. And something splash. He sure is reliving himself.
 And if they kept that camera under that grate, I'm sure it's getting all the content Charlie wants for his scat-video.

I feel Happy adjust her position. Just a little bit, but it feels amazing. I don't think I will last long when she starts grinding for real. Or squatting, like James did.

Beth sprays Charlie with a wide hosehead, cleaning him
 Done, she unlocks his straps.

Beth leads Charlie towards the butchering table. He walks funny. I guess that's to... Happy just shifted her position again.
 "[i]Mmm... Pull it, Ashy! Pull-it! Just-a-bit![/i]"
 I pull on the rope, lifting her a little bit for a secund, then let her down.
 "[i]Aah! Agai... No. We should wait. I wanna cum just before I die.[/i]"

Charlie stations himself on top of a short platform, his back to the table. Beth grabs and lifts his half-erect dick up on the table, it's at a perfect height.
 She strokes it a bit, and it starts to harden. Then she walks of, fetching a bottle of lube, and a masturbation sleeve from the wall cabinet.

Beth lubes up his cock, insert him into the tool, and begin stroking him, deeply.
 She kiss him on the back of his head. He starts panting.
 With her free hand, she grabs a sharp knife.
 Happy starts grinding on me now. Fuck. Already?

Charlie tenses up, and shoots out cum!
 That looked like an amazing orgasm. "[i]H... Happy? If... if you keep going like that...[/i]" She stops.
 "[i]Aww... But we are about to get to the good part.[/i]"

Beth removes the now very sticky sleeve, angles the knife over the head of Charlie's cock.
 She cuts! Charlie's head bucks upwards!
 "[b][i][color=#be4343]AAAAAAH![/color][/i][/b]" I can hear his scream all the way in here, if a bit muffled.
 Cum and blood pour out of both the severed tip, and the cut.
 Beth moves her knife tiny bit down the shaft, and prepearing the next cut.
 Meanwhile her other hand puts the sliced cockhead on waiting plate on a wheeled serving table.
 "[b][i][color=#be4343]AH![/color][/i][/b]" A much shorter yell this time, as Beth makes her next cut.
 The cut makes a nice slice of dick shaft.
 As Beth moves for another cut, Happy starts grinding again.
 "[b][i][color=#be4343]AH[/color][/i][/b]" Another cut.
 "[i]Happy, plea...[/i]" But before I can finish the warning, I feel something clamp onto my dick, pumping it, I feel liquid running down.
 "[i]Ah... ah... [b]ahhhh[/b][/i]" Happy cums.
 "[i]Ah... ah... [b]Aaaah![/b][/i]" Not having much of a choice, I cum too. Fuck, she was already tight to begin with.
 "AH!" Charlie's dick is now cut down to his medial ring.
 Happy stops moving, and I'm just left panting
 "[b][i]AH![/i][/b]" Charlie's yells are softer now
 "[b][i]![/i][/b]" That last one was barely a sound. Charlie's dick has been cut all the way so his sheath.
 Blood and cum dripping everywhere.

Done with the cock for now, Beth slice open Charlie's ballsack, exposing his massive (to human standards) testicles.
 She cuts one testicle free, then the other.
 Happy slowly starts grinding and masturbating again. That's fine. I'm not soft yet, though I'm unlikely to cum again, not for a good while, at least.

With the testicles now joining the dick slices on the table, Beth pulls cables from the ceiling.
 The cables appears to be attached to a winch, which is again hooked up to a rail running across the room, and into an adjacent room.
 Beth attaches the cabes to Charlie's limbs, activates the winch lifting him up.
 The winch setup pulls the cables so that it helps her rotate him around. Satisfied with his new orientation, she has the winch lower him back down, placing him down with his back on the table.

Beth grabs a different knife, and starts cutting out the remainder of Charlie's genitals.
 Meanwhile, Charlie is biting onto his hoof, hard. It's bleeding. His eyes are shut, tears dripping. His free forehoof is mimicking the emergency signal in the air. Three quick pokes or kicks on Beth. He reaches his hoof over to her, but just before he can commit to giving up, Beth moves away. She has extracted the genitals. Placing them on a different plate on the serving table.

Charlie is now bleeding even worse than before. The better half of the butchering table is now stained with his blood.
 Angling her knife, Beth is getting ready to cut open Charlie's belly.
 "[i]Now-Ash! Pull-me-up-pull-me-up-pull-me-up![/i]"

I pull hard on the rope. Damn she's heavy.
 I feel Happy leaving my dick. Damn, it's chilly. I guess my dick got used to being in there.
 Once she's properly dangling, I tie the rope to a rod under the bench.

Happy tries to reach over to masterbate, again. But she can't quite reach while dangeling.
 I move over, I see Beth has cut Charlie open. But just as she leans in with her knife to cut something, a blinding light fills the observation room.
 Suddenly, the two-way mirror becomes, well, a mirror.
 Something kicks me. It's Happy. She's grinning. But also breathing. As predicted, she's too light for the rope.
 As the light to something barely blinding, I can see where it comes from. Happy's hips.
 I can't make out her cutie mark, or even confirm that this is what it is. But I was warned to expect a bright flash.
 I grab the knife from my left forearm, and stand up to face Happy.
 She's still reaching for her pussy. It's dripping cum, but hers and mine.

I stay my knife for now, and lick her pussy.
 "[i]Mmmm. Amazing. Kick me once when you're ready.[/i]"

She moves her head in what might be a nod.
 I keep the knife in my right hand, ready by her throat.
 While my left is down there, as I insert my fingers into her vagina, one by one
 And then I get my tongue to work her clit.

I try to be as aggressive as possible. I also rub my forehead on her crotch-nipples.
 Shaking as she's dangling, she kicks me.
 I look up. The flash is fading more.
 She kicks again.
 I stab the knife deep into her throat!
 Now she's really wriggling.
 I withdraw the knife on an angle, making a much bigger cut.
 She's fountaining blood now!
 Fuck, I'm getting soaked!

I turn towards the two-way mirror, or window, I suppose.
 Beth is starring right at us. Smiling. Intestines in her hands.

The light fades much faster now.
 Beth returns to Charlie, digging out his insides.
 Charlie seems to be twitching. But i can't tell if that's him doing it, or just shakes from Beth's cuts.
 I look back at Happy. I think her heart has stopped now. The blood has stopped fountaining.

Honestly, I can't tell which of them died first. Probobly Happy.
 I look back. Huh. Beth's gone. Suddenly the door behind me opens.
 "[i]Here, help me get her on this table[/i]"
 I nod. "[i]Ok. I'll cut her down. ready?[/i]" Beth grabs onto Happy's back legs. I take hold of one of her forelegs, and puts my knife to the rope.
 "[i]On three?[/i]" She nods.
 "[i]One... two...[/i]" I cut the rope "[i]Three![/i]"
 Swiftly I move my other arm to catch Happy.
 As we carry Happy Noose to the cart Beth left waiting, I finally get a good look on Happy's new cutie mark. It has a knife over a noose dripping with something white.

I watch as Beth wheels Happy out though the preparation room, and onto into the kill room, joining next to Charlie.

I watch as Beth grabs a small scanner from a cabinet, just like the one Dr. Matter used on me.
 But unlike what he did, she pulls some tiny probes from the device. All connected by wire. She pulls a protective box from her pocket, she opens it, takes the crystal, and inserts it in the scanner, then places the probes on Charlie's head. The device flashes blue. She removes the crystal, returning it to its box, and place them on a safe socket on the serving table. I grab it with my least bloody hand, and put it in my own pocket.
 Then moves the probes to Happy's head. Pulling out a different box and installing a different crystal, she repeats the process. Again, the device flashes blue.
 placing the box next to the other on the table. Finally she packs up the scanner, and returns it to the cabinet.

With that done, she starts cutting our up the ponies' cutie marks. Deep cuts, she pulls out some muscle tissue full of small sacks. She repeats this on both, extracting four slabs of meat with those sacks.

Next she cuts off the remaining limbs, and decapitates first Charlie, then Happy.
 With the cutting done, she picks up some meathookes that were waiting by the wall, installs them on the rail, and hangs each cut on its own hook.
 She then push the hooks to the adjacent room. A white mist appears as the door opens. Ah. Of course. It's a freezer.
 Closing the door, the returns to the service table, and wheel it out towards the preperation room.
 I pull on my boxers, and meet her outside.

"[i]This is it? The cutie slices?[/i]"
 "[i]Weird little things are they not?[/i]"
 One set of cutie slices are glowing, the sacks notably bigger than the other pair. I can make out a faint imprint of Happy's new cutie mark.
 If such an imprint is on the cuts from Charlie, they are too faint to see.

"[i]I need to get these though the portal, STAT. Meanwhile you, I think you should wash up. In the shower please. Don't use the lake. That never ends well.
 I will drive you home once I'm back.[/i]"
 "[i]Sounds like a plan[/i]"