>"Jacky! Jacky, are you ok?"
>Dashy comes up to me. Her right wing is bent a little funny. I snort hard, a wad of blood spraying out onto the cobblestone.
"I'm... yeah. I'm ok."
>Everything hurts. Taking some freely given food led to a few ponies getting mouthy. Sparks started it but she did have a point. So what if they always got the freshest food first before?
>That reminds me.
"Sparks?! Where's Sparks?"
>It's hard to see through the thin layer of red, and harder still to focus. I see Sparking limping away, giving me one last glance.
"There she is, come on! Let's-"
>Dashie stops me, extending her good wing.
>"Don't worry about her, she can take care of yourself. You got kicked in the head... let's go home and rest. I'll see if I can get you some medicine."
>I try to trot past her but Sparks is already out of view
"No, you don't get it, she's my friend!"
>Dashie doesn't let me past.
>"No, you don't get it. You're hurt and she's always been fine on her own. We can meet up later... things aren't going to be easy for a while. The best thing is to split up and just lay low for a while."
>Feeling angry, while unfamiliar, fills me with energy. I glare at the two ponies that had issues with having to share for once, or be second to get food.
>They're still breathing but one has a busted jaw. I kicked him hard enough to be sure. The other one got stabbed by Spark's horn and quit when she threatened to blow him up from the inside.
>I know she would never do that. But she sounded like she meant it this time.
>That's why I need to find her.
>But Dashie keeps guiding me away from the scene, into a sewer opening
>"I'll come back for the food, as soon as you lay down. We take too long and all of it will be confiscated anyway."
>I don't like her logic but it makes sense. Even if I keep thinking that Sparks looked really bad.
"We gotta get Sparks... we gotta."
>I repeat to myself again and again, mumbling the same thing as if it will change her mind.
>Before I know it, I'm on my bed. Not a real bed but a lot of fabrics and discarded quilts that have a tendency to collect bloodstains and smears.
"We gotta get Sparks... Sparks and..."
>My legs go weak and I collapse. I can hear Dashie saying something but I can't really hear her.
>Sparks isn't the only one I'm worried about. It was Sparks and...
>My eyes close too soon, fatigue winning again.

>I wake up with a jolt
"Sparks?! Anon!"
>Sparks turns her head back to you from your game
>"Anon went to work a few hours ago. He's working later in the day now, remember?"
>Why does everything feel so sluggish?
>In mid-panic, I scramble over to the unicorn and wrap my front legs around her stomach
"You're safe... oh man..."
>"Uh... should I be concerned about this?"
>I spend a while to calm down
>Evidently long enough for her to pause her game
>"What happened? Did you have a nightmare or something?"
"Sparks, I didn't mean to leave you behind that time. Dashie stopped me and... and I couldn't think straight. I couldn't walk straight!"
>I sound far more frantic than I realize
>Sparks wriggles out from my grip, looking at me funny
>"What are you even talking about?"
"The fight! The food!"
>Sparks squints at me
>And frowns
>She looks like she's thinking hard on something
>"...don't worry about it, you just had a weird dream."
"It was weird but it wasn't just a dream! It felt real! See? Look, I was snorting blood like-"
>I snort against her, almost exactly as I did in the dream
>"Wha-ew?! Don't do that on me, you freak!"
"No, listen! Listen!"
>I reach out and squeeze her tight
>Tight like if I wasn't holding onto her, she would vanish
"I know that stuff happened. I swear it did. You and me and Dashie were fighting ponies for food and we won. But Dashie took me away while you just limped off. I thought you were going to die."
>The discomfort and annoyance on her face says it all
>"...What do you want me to do, make you beg for forgiveness? Act like it was ok? Offer me some bread like it makes up for it?"
"No, Sparking, I swear... I didn't..."
>She looks at me
>Not with pity or annoyance
>I don't think she is displaying an emotion at all
>"What happened then... it really doesn't matter. Where we are now matters. And that sort of thing isn't ever going to happen again. You won't and can't make anything up to me. And I don't want you to either."
>"Besides... Anon would hate it if you did something stupid for a stupid reason. Now let go!"
>She wriggles out of my hooves again, distancing herself
>"Go get something to eat or whatever. You look like you had a rough time."
>I want to argue in favor of doing something for her but I listen and hop out of bed
>My body feels so strong and light, compared to then
>Sure, all I do is lay around and be a mare-do-well
>But it's so much better than anything I did before
>Ma would be proud
>I miss her
>Maybe I'll watch her later
>I see Dashie in the living room, watching a pair of red birds flutter around on the patio
>I have the urge to sneak up on her
>But I have to know something
"Hey Dashie..."
>The pegasus looks over her shoulder and smiles at me
>"Good afternoon, Jacky. I thought you'd be asleep all day."
>Instead of being nice or sensible, I let my words blurt out
"I had a dream about a fight we had... and you left Sparks to limp away. She looked like she was gonna die."
>Dashie flinches at your words
>"I... don't know what you're referring to."
>I press harder
>I can't be the only one who'd remember something that important
"You better not be lying to me... there was Sparks and... and another pony. I know it. I felt it all. It wasn't just a dream."
>Dashie turns around to face me
>She looks a little sad
>"Jacky, it was probably just a dream. If it weren't, wouldn't my wing be off or still hurt?"
>She spreads both of her wings
>I squint at her
>She has a good point
"Yeah... well..."
>I sigh
"It just felt like a real dream, ok... I've never had one so strong like that."
>Dashie quickly changes topic, giggling to herself
>"Oh? You haven't had a dream about Anon that felt as real?"
>I huff and stamp my hoof down
"Well of co..."
>I see what she's doing
>I see through her scheme
"I ain't telling you! As if I'd share something like that..."
>I grumble
>I did have dreams of Anon
>But being awake was far more rewarding than any dream
>Even then...
"Dashie... if something like that actually happened. You'd tell me. Wouldn't you?"
>She nods empathically
>"Of course I would. I don't have anything to gain by lying to you. There's no reason to, especially now."
>She shrugs as if it was just a fleeting thought
>"We're where we are now... and I don't think it's been anyone but us. It's certainly only us now, right?"
"Well, with Anon, obviously..."
>Something about this doesn't sit well with me
>It doesn't sit as well as it should, in any case
"... this new work schedule of his sucks. We gotta be able to help him out somewhere."
>"Oh? Is that what this is really about?"
"Well... no? But yeah. We gotta do something. I remember hearing him talking to Sparks about some stuff a few days ago... it sounded important."
>"Probably about money. From what I remember, it did cost a lot for him to get me out of that place..."
"Exactly!"
>I still have no clue of where I'm going with this, but the gears are turning
"What if we..."
>I sit down, stuck in thought
>What can I do?
"What if we... make money? Anyone can do that, right? Even we made money sometimes."
>She grimaces
>"...yes we did... sometimes."
>I smirk at her
"We have music from the internet now... add my hat and you can sing while we-"
>"Absolutely not! I'm never doing another one of those... song and pony shows!"
"But you did one with Sparks for Anon!"
>She sputters out an attempt to rebut
>"That was different!"
"He would've tipped you!"
>"That's him giving us his own money!"
"And?!"
>"That kills the point of getting money to help out with!"
"...oh. Well yeah, I guess if you put it that way..."
>Dang it
>I really thought I had something there
>I'm not deterred though!
"There's gotta be something... something inside is telling me that I can't just sit here and do nothing. He don't deserve that out of me. All of us really gotta figure something out..."
>I trot away, into the kitchen
>Maybe a brunch will help

>Something still sits weird with me, even after eating
>Knowing Anon won't be home for a few more hours doesn't help
>Dashie doesn't really want to talk about stuff with me
>Sparks is...
>Well she is honest
>And it sounds like she's playing something fun too
>I slink into Anon's room
>And sneak onto the bed, watching her focus on something that looks far too technical for me to do with hooves
>I still do use that bulky controller that Anon got but it really just doesn't compare to magic
>I wish I had magic
"Hey Sparks."
>"Hey."
>She doesn't stop her game
>There's a lot of things that I want to ask her
>But I don't really know if she's the best one to ask
"How good friends were we?"
>She doesn't stop playing
>She doesn't even answer me
"I wasn't that bad, was I?"
>Nothing
>I lay down, my ears flattening back
>That dream really just...
>Flipped a lot of things around
>Did I ever do that sort of thing to someone?
>Bucking and kicking always did come naturally to me
>I never hurt anyone, did I?
"Sparks... we're still friends, aren't we?"
>That finally gets her to pause
>After a few seconds
>"Jacky... you're not the only one who's had those dreams. I think. I've had a few too. And I'm sure Prism has."
>My ears perk up at her answer
"What do they mean? Did we actually do stuff like that?"
>"Is it that hard to believe? We were... scum. We really didn't do much with ourselves. And... we didn't really live. We just kinda..."
>She shrugs
>"Did whatever."
>I feel a bit better that I haven't been the only one with dreams like this
"Does Anon know about these dreams? Have you talked to him about those?"
>She scoffs
>"No? Why would I?"
"Well... maybe he wants to know? I mean, we are dangerous."
>The way I say that makes her smile
>She squints and nods
>"Oh yeah, you're a real killer. I am too. Between the three of us, we're really a trio of psychopaths.Just wait until we get hungry and there's no food left, Anon will be our dinner."
>I stare at her
"...did we eat people too?"
>Her smile fades
>"You're lucky that you're the cute one."
>That doesn't answer my question
>I reach out to poke her flank with my hoof
"I'm serious, we never did that. Right?"
>"Not that I remember..."
>She gives you a sly grin
>"Guess Anon better watch out. Or else I might eat him all up."
>I feel faint
>The blood drains from my face, leading to a cold rush going from my nose down to my chest
"You wouldn't."
>"Oh, I totally would."
>I just stare at her
>What if she's serious
>What if she's done that before
>What if I've done that before?
>The growing discomfort and panic on my face must have had an effect because she eventually sighs
>"Don't worry about it. We did some things but we never went down that road...I don't think we would be here now if we were so far gone."
>That helps
"Yeah... I think so too. We can't have been that bad if we ended up here."
>I relax, kicking my hind legs out
"We're still friends though, right?"
>"Yes we're still friends you freaking dork. You worry too much..."
>What a relief
"Is worrying so bad? If I didn't worry, something bad might happen."
>"I never took you for a worrying sort. Especially not with Anon around."
>She goes back to her game
"Well yeah, someone's gotta be the brains of this operation."
>Whatever Sparky was doing, she absolutely got wrecked
>She opens her mouth to speak
>Shakes her head
>And sighs
>"Ok Jacky."
"Heh heh..."
>I feel satisfied
>Less worried too
>I watch her play
>Though I feel uncomfortable
>I want to talk to Anon
>I want to do... something
>Anything
>As long as I've been here, I've been relaxing
>But Anon has been working
>There has to be something I can do
>Or something Sparks can do
>Or Dashie too
>Or maybe all three of us can do something
>I watch until the front door knob jostles
>In an instant, I'm off the bed and rush to the door
>As soon as he opens it, I dart out into the hallway
"Anon, let's go for a walk!"
>"Eh? Oh, sure."
>I look up at Anon and beam
>He looks a little tired but it is a bit later than his normal time off
>He punctuates my thoughts with a short yawn, keeping pace behind me
>"How'd your day go?"
"Good, but I wanna talk about it... maybe in your car where it's ok?"
>"The car? Sure, you wanna head somewhere?"
"Not really, but... it's kinda important."
>Doing the leading, I reach up and slap the elevator button a few times with my hoof
>I can't risk talking to him about this sort of stuff with the others nearby
>He doesn't seem to mind at least, which is great
>After casually rushing outside and ending up in the car, I sigh
"Anon..."
>"What's up, Jack?"
"I had a dream that I kicked a pony's jaw to pieces, that Sparks almost killed another pony with her horn, Dashie had a broken wing that looked like it was twisted around and it was all over some food and I'm scared that I might have actually hurt someone and it's been scaring me all day since I woke up because what if I did something worse and you aren't safe."
>Anon looks at me with wide eyes and blinks a few times
>"...that must've been one helluva dream. Why do you think it was real and not based off of something else?"
>He's taking me seriously
>I'm glad
>He's always been serious about these sorts of things
"Because... I think there might've been a fourth one of our group. I don't think it used to be just three of us. But..."
>I can see worry on his face
>I can tell immediately that he's worried that I might ask for his help again
>When he's already given so much and more
"N-no, I don't mean to act like I want us to do anything. I think... I think she might have died because of us. Because of me. But I don't know and even if I knew, how could I know if it actually happened? This isn't like a thing of 'oh no, I stole her food now she's gonna be hungry in the tummy for a few days', but I think she actually might have gotten hurt to the point that she... she died! I could've been behind that! All of us could have!"
>Normally everything is so much more slower paced but I can't stop myself from talking and speaking as fast as I can without offering him time to respond or to take it all in
"I'm scared, Anon... dreams like this don't just... happen."
>Rather than speak, he leans over to the passenger seat where I am and wraps his arms around me
>I keep forgetting just how strong he is, human or no
>He drags me onto his lap
>I certainly don't resist him
>He strokes my twin-tail mane
>I've defaulted to that style for so long now that it's just kinda the norm
>I like it too
>I keep waiting for an answer, tense at the possibility of his reaction being less than positive
>But his petting relaxes me far too much
>He keeps petting me until I'm as limp as a noodle, my head bent back to rest on his shoulder and to expose my throat to his hand
>I really don't know what I would do without him
>"Jack."
>He finally speaks
>My ears flicker and twitch to tune into his voice
"Mm."
>That's all I can really do to speak up
>If I speak or move enough, the petting might stop
"That sounds... spooky. But you don't have any scars or anything, do you? I mean, I've never seen or felt any. The other two seem fine too. It could have been a dream."
>He pauses
>"But. It could have actually happened too. Some things, you just can't forget. What happened last night or this morning to freak you out? Maybe there's a link?"
>A link sounds plausible
>But what link would Sparks or Dashie have to trigger any dreams like that?
"Well... I don't know. We watched that Wicker movie."
>"John Wick?"
"Yeah."
>"Well... that was a violent movie."
"Sure but we never had guns... and that was a lot of gun stuff.
>"It was... really not anything close to the westerns."
"Not at all..."
>I sigh, closing my eyes
>He's doing too good a job at calming me down
>I have to stay focused
>I wriggle on his lap, regaining some focus
"Outside of that... I didn't really sleep well. I kept waking up, expecting your alarm."
>"Yeah, I woke up pretty early too, all things considered."
"What if that had something to do with it too?"
>"Maybe."
>It isn't the most insightful conversation but what else could be said?
>I sigh again
"What if I got a friend killed..."
>"There's no real way to know that, for better or worse."
>I don't like that answer
"There has to be a way to know."
>"Maybe you can start a journal or something? Jot down things you recall. Jot down things that Sparks or Dashie will tell you too?"
>That doesn't sound like a bad idea
>"Actually... do you know how to... write?"
"Like, with a pencil?"
>"Yeah."
Obviously I can read
"I... don't know. I mean, I can type. Sorta."
>"Sorta."
"But I never tried... writing. I guess I never really got the chance to try."
>"Huh. Wiggy."
>He casually takes my ear between his thumb and index finger
>My right eye twitches and my lip curls upward
>If he can't see, it's fine
>I try to speak but as long as he does that, I just can't
>"Well... why not type it out, since you've typed to me before?"
>I try to answer but I can only attempt a throaty growl
>He finally stops and chuckles
>Did he do that on purpose?!
"I think that's a good idea. But it has to be password protected. If just anyone can read it..."
>"Yeah, you have a point."
>It feels so weird to go from panicked to
>This
>"What else is on your mind?"
>Of course he'd know something else was up
>Or maybe he's just asking
"You work a lot. And you've always worked. I don't work... none of us do."
>He nods and shifts in the driver's seat
>"Yeah... but you really don't need to."
"It's not about need, Anon. I want it. I want to do a lot of things. But... it's hard."
>"Because hands?"
"Right! Because I just... I can't do anything. Sparks can do whatever she wants, she has magic out her wazoo. Dashie just... I don't know what she does. But she can fly. I think. She could just leave and come and go as she pleased through the patio. And I'm... I'm stuck by a wooden door..."
>I'm not even sad
>I'm just frustrated
"If I can't even use utensils to make food like Sparks can and if I can't even play games like she does, or do anything you can do..."
>I don't want to say it
>But it needs to be said
"What... what good am I?"
>Anon scoops me up into his arms and gives me a hug hard enough to make my tongue pop out
>I exhale just as hard
>"Heh, squeaky toy."
>I grumble and slip my tongue back into my mouth, huffing through my nostrils
>"I've been thinking of that sort of thing too. Believe me, I have. There are some things out there that can help. And I have been thinking of setting up some stuff that'd be more in your guys' range and stuff. As long as you've been here, I really have not been... helpful."
>I disagree but I let him continue
>"Now for money... well. Honestly? I'm fine with you not working. I guess I have some views that would make it appropriate."
>I raise an eyebrow at that
>He's never really mentioned something like that
>"But... if you guys can take care of things and hold down the fort. That would be pretty good for me and you."
"But would it be enough?"
>"Jack, you're enough already. You weren't my friend for some sort of long list of reasons. I never planned on you having obligations and other crap that I'd thrust onto you just because."
>His words really do a number on me
>He's right
>He wanted a friend
"Anon?"
>"What's up?"
"Are we... a healthy thing?"
>"You mean... relationship-wise?"
"Yeah... should we have gotten as close as we have?"

>I'm still not used to waking up before Anon has to go to work
>He's not used to it either
>We usually spend the mornings listening to stuff on YouTube, or get in some extra sleep
>My question from before still pops up in my head
>But I don't want to lose what I have either
>But I don't want him to be so close to... what could've been a killer, or a violent pony
>If that really was who I was
>I haven't had any dreams since then that were that detailed
>Sparks and Dashie don't want to talk to me about it
>I really think that they might know more than they're willing to say
>Maybe if...
>While watching, laying on Anon, I see Sparks creep her head into view
>She's looking dead ahead
>It's kinda spooky
>I stare at her
>Anon stares at her
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?"
>Anon just stares
>Sparks stops screaming and smiles with a sense of contentment
>What the heck was that about?!
>"Something up?"
>"Yeah. Prism helped me make breakfast. It's not gonna be delivered to you so come get some."
>"Cool, thanks."
>"Sure."
>With that, her head pulls back and she hops off the bed, chuckling to herself
>I give Anon a concerned look
"Is... is she ok?"
>He nods
>"She's been getting into spooky games now."
>I shiver, shaking from my head to my flank
"Scary stuff... let's go do breakfast!"
>I straighten out my legs and roll down his body like a log until I stop at the foot of the bed and hop off
>The lumbering man takes a little longer to get up but he quickly matches my stride
>Astonishingly, most of the food is at eye level!
>For me!
>"It's kinda neat to not have to do everything on a stool so-"
>"Sparking took the wheel, as it were, and I helped with more finer mixing and cleanup."
>Dashie looks happy too, puffing out her chest with a dignified smile
>"I'm honestly surprised it was so easy to work with her."
>"Well sh'yeah! I'm awesome, I've done it a lot by now."
"That's great, guys! Can I help next time?"
>They look at me
>I can tell that the burst of enthusiasm they had immediately seeped
>Dashie's smile turns more mild
>"Well of course, Jacky. It's an important skill to learn. Imagine us, cooking!"
>Sparks smirks
>"Yeah, bet you never thought we'd learn real skills, right?"
>I can hear sounds in the bathroom
>I thought Anon was right behind me?
>I look around to check and see that he isn't
"...real quick... guys, do you remember anything more about that dream I told you about?"
>Just like that, the entire atmosphere of the room changes
>Dashie looks concerned
>Sparky just averts her eyes
"Come on...! You know what happened as well as I do!"
>"Jacky, please... let's just have breakfast for now."
>Dashie's voice is low
>My ears fold back and flatten
>I can feel my tail flicker nervously
"But... the dream..."
>"BEHOLD, I. HAVE. AWAKENED."
>Anon bellows out
>Before stumbling over himself
>"Boy, aren't you as graceful as an angel."
>"You shut it, horn horse. What's on the menu for today?"
>"Pancakes, bacon, ham, grilled pineapples, instant mashed potatoes, those bratwursts you had in the fridge, we put tea on the kettle and we were going to add toast but we're out of bread."
>Dashie lists off everything, counting down the list by tapping her hoof down on different parts of the floor
>My jaw drops
>I look at Anon and he's done the same
>"...dang. What the hell convinced you to cook everything and the kitchen sink?"
>Sparks shrugs
>"Well we had to test out everything, right?"
>I look at what they cooked on
>It's a full camping set's worth of stoves, pots and pans
>I heard about it all being set up and even helped Anon haul a lot of boxes from down the hallway into the apartment itself
>But I didn't know all of that was in there
"Wow... how long were you guys making this?"
>"As soon as we woke up, I suppose. You and Anon always sleep so soundly together that we decided we could surprise you two."
>Dashie speaks while Sparks sets up a plate with her magic
>Lacking any proper table area, Anon opts to sit on the floor with a fork
>"Well that's pretty awesome of you guys. Thanks!"
>A big plate is prepared for me next, set up near him
>I am happy but something makes me frown
>"The longer you wait, the colder it gets."
>Sparks chides me, smiling
>"Once we get more used to these, we aren't going to have another feast unless it's a special occasion."
>She has a point
>And I am hungry...
>After eating, the rest of the morning is spent with everyone talking
>Well, I don't join in all that much
>I do add in comments here or there but the topics are a bit above my skillset
>When Anon finally goes off to go take a shower, I watch the two visibly relax
>Something just... feels off about all of this
"Dashie... Sparky... please..."
>I whimper, trying to make sense of all of this
>Almost as if she knows exactly what I'm thinking, Sparks stares at me
>Dashie does the same but she looks more concerned
>"Jacky, we all had the same dream... and we're trying to figure it out. The last thing we need is Anon worrying about this. And anything we tell you, you'll tell him. So, for your sake and his, just relax and do stuff like normal. We don't want you-know-who to even be brought up."
>You-know-who?
>I scan the room with a hard squint
"....uh? Who?"
Sparks sighs and shakes her head back and forth hard enough to make her stumble a bit to the side
>"NO! The..."
>She leans in
>Dashie leans in too
>Because both of them are doing it, I lean in as well
>"Nona. We can't let Anon contact her about this. Call it a dream from a movie. Anything, but don't say it's real. Not until we understand what that means."
>Though it takes a second, clear memories of her come flooding back
"Oh! I had almost forgotten about her..."
>"I've never met her... but I'm willing to trust Sparking on this."
>"You better or she's going to come here and do who knows what!"
>Spark's whispering is harsh and almost too loud to be a whisper
"Come on, Anon would never let that happen..."
>"We know, Jacky. But if Sparking is even a quarter correct on... whatever vibes she's getting..."
>She sighs
>"Regardless, we're remembering things. And whether or not we want to, not all of it is good. We need to figure out what is means."
>I feel so relieved!
"You should've told me... I was panicking about that!"
>"We know, Jacky... how much have you told Anon?"
>I stumble over my own words
"W-well... I mean... not a lot..."
>I avert Dashie's eyes
>"Ahh... crap... that means he knows everything."
>Sparks shoves her way close to me
>"You... need. Need. Ne-ee-ee-ee-ee-d. To keep this secret from him. We're gonna figure this point... but he's got enough going on. And... well, this doesn't concern him."
>Sparks looks at me and Dashie
>"If we got some unfinished business... or we're a lot worse than we thought we were... it doesn't leave us."
>She pauses
>"..until we know it's safe for Anon. Or that we know that him knowing won't endanger us."
"But that doesn't make any sense, why would we be in danger from Anon knowing?"
>What could we have possibly done to make him rethink anything?
"I mean... so maybe we had fights. We stole stuff too, he already knew that. It wasn't for fun. It was so just we would have things to eat and live!"
>They look at me
>And they look at each other
"...right?"

>I lay on Anon, splayed out
"Eughhh..."
>"Blaaaagh..."
>He's been matching my noises for the last ten minutes
>Sparky and Dashie are really getting into the cooking, since they have a kitchen that's more for ponies
>Anon even set up a few small shelves and got a big plastic mat to help with spills
"Blaaaaaaaaablerraaaaaaaa...."
>"..."
"..."
>"...loud exclaim of fatigue."
>I scoff and nuzzle my head against his chest
"Anon?"
>"What's up Jackenstein?"
>I've been thinking about it for a while
>And I can't hide things from him anymore
>It hurts to do that
"I can't cook like them. I can't use magic. I can't make money..."
>I feel his hand rest on my shoulder
"That dream made me realize that I might have even been violent before. Or that I might have hurt someone before. Or worse."
>I pause but he seems intent on listening
>He's always listened before
>Both of us have listened to each other
>That's why I know I should keep speaking despite the growing lump in my throat
"What am I supposed to do with my life? I didn't know I had a life until... basically you."
>It hurts to say that
>But it hurts more how distant I've been
>It doesn't feel good
>It doesn't even feel natural to keep things hidden
>"Jack... if I knew, I'd give you a few tips. But I don't know."
>What?
"What? But you're doing a ton with your life, aren't you?"
>He shrugs under me
>His other hand goes to my stomach
>"I guess. You know how I have a place and... how I just work and kinda goof around on my off time, right?"
"Sure do, I goof around with you too!"
>"And I'm always happy that you do! But... objectively speaking? It's really not a lot."
>I look around
>His room is pretty full of stuff
>And a lot of electronic things too
>Though it sounds funny, I don't laugh
"...really? This isn't a lot of stuff?"
>He shakes his head
>"Well, it's not a house. My savings... which were kinda drained to the last drop... was enough to take care of a list of possible issues but it wasn't a great amount either. My skill set and experiences are... not useless. But far from useful enough to warrant great pay."
>He has mentioned some of his new work but it seems a lot more complicated than shooting shoplifters or stuff like that
>"You and I... we don't really come from good families."
"I... didn't have much of a family. I only really had Dashie and Sparks."
>"Yeah... growing up I had my friends and that was kinda it."
>I don't get it
"Didn't you have a mom and relatives and stuff?"
>"Sure. But they were pretty hostile to each other. The best thing I could do about it was to stay in my room and just do... whatever."
"Oh..."
>"Where I am now? I'm able to have my friends live with me. And I think that's pretty great. But I know that on a wider scale of things? I'm... kind of a nobody. And I may stay a nobody."
"But you aren't nobody, you're Anon!"
>"It's true. But I just can't do things that other people can. I don't have parents that own multiple homes or their own homes. I don't have relatives that own boats. Everything I own is in this place, or my car."
"That... uh... do you own me too?"
>I don't move my head but I do try to look at him from the corner of my eye
>Anon waits
>And nods
>"Yes. I hope you can accept that."
>I smirk
"I'll deal with it."
>I inhale hard and exhale
"A boat, huh..."
>"Yeah. A lot of people own boats so casually. They have big family reunions, summer and winter homes."
"Do you want all of those things?"
>"Not really, no."
"Oh."
>Neither of us say anything
>"What do you want to own, Jack?"
"Me?"
>"Yeah."
>What could I really want?
"Well... I don't have parents or a family. Everyone I know is under this roof."
>I sigh
"I guess I just want to feel like... I have a place in this world. I didn't have one before. I have a hard time feeling like I have a place right now because I just can't do a lot for you. And you do so much for me. Just because... you're physically capable of it."
>"What would you like to do?"
"What wouldn't I like to do! I'd love to be able to go to work with you. I would want to..."
>I frown
"Ok, I wouldn't want to drive..."
>I feel at a loss for words
>I can use a laptop
>Kinda
>I can play some games really well now
>Mostly
"I... I don't know what I want I guess. I don't want a lot of stuff either. I wouldn't know what to want. I guess I just want a family. That's good enough, right?"
>Despite the conversation, I notice that both of our voices are pretty calm
>He does really well at keeping me relaxed during even really tough topics
>"Yeah. I think that's enough. It's what I want too. The friends I had. The guys I called my brothers. The nerds I would've gotten shot for. My longest term goal, outside of making a set amount of money? Just living all under the same roof. Knowing that if I wanted to, I could hang out with them. That we could set up a big, cool movie or anime marathon. That we could play games together as often as we wanted. That we could always cover each other and be there."
"That sounds nice..."
>"It does. I always thought that even if my blood relatives left me in the dirt. Even if they decided they wanted money for being there. Even if they backstabbed me. I'd have my friends. My brothers. The guys I considered my real family."
>He finally starts to sound like it's getting to him
>"But... here I am now, you know? I know you and the other two nerds don't always get together perfectly. But you gotta remember that all you have are each other. You lose that and... you lose a lot. You lose a lot of a lot."
>His hands slide off of me
>I've worried about losing my friends for a long while
>I worried about losing them so much that even when I didn't know anything else, I still knew that I had them
>Maybe we did fight a lot
>But we fought together too
>We shared some of our wins too
>And a lot of losses
"Anon... I wish your friends could have met me. And Dashie. And even Sparky! I think they'd love us."
>His hand pats my stomach
>"Yeah."
>That's all he can say
>He does not sound happy
"I'm... I'm gonna get up real quick. Want me to bring you a drink?"
>"Yeah."
"Alright."
>I slip off of him and get onto my hooves
>No matter how many times I've done it, I still can't help but bounce off of the very last step from the mattress
>I slowly trot into the living room
>And see Sparks and Dashie whispering to each other
>That's new
>Dashie notices me with a quick glance but she doesn't say anything
>I trot up and rear up, grabbing both of them in a tight hug
>"Ack--Jacky?! Get offa me!"
>Sparks is as energetic as ever
>Dashie doesn't seem to mind nearly as much
>"Are you ok?"
"I love you guys."
>I didn't realize it but a tear dropped from my face
"I'm sorry. I'm just a little emotional and Anon and I were-"
>"You can apologize by LETTING GO AND-"
>I squeeze both of them together harder, Sparky's words turning into a garble of strangled syllables and most likely at least one threat
>"Jack...y... air, honey..."
>I ease up on the leg wrapped around Dashie
>But not Sparks
>It wouldn't be normal if I didn't tease her just a little extra
>It's what friends do

>Since Anon came home, we've been laying in the living room
>Sparky has been in his room playing video games all day
>Dashie has been in there too
>I think they left the apartment earlier today for some reason
>I stretch out, my head resting on his arm
>The ceiling isn't a lot to look at but we've been watching it while listening to trippy sounding music
"Anon?"
>"Mm?"
"I've been looking up stuff online today."
>"Oh nice. What've you been looking at?"
>I glance at him with pursed lips
"..."
>"...?"
"...why do they call it a member?"
>I can see Anon's eyes nearly pop out of his head
>He glances at me
>"That's... a good question."
"...you've never called it that."
>"No... no, I haven't."
"...does it have a name?"
>I grin
>"What? No. Why would it?"
"Well Iunno... it would be cool I guess."
>"To name it."
"Yeah!"
>"...well why don't we name your stuff?"
>I spurt out a laugh
"S'yeah right. Like what?"
>"Exactly."
>I frown
>He had a good point
>Both of us stay silent for a bit
"...what about Tuco?"
>"Are you calling it ugly?"
"What? No! Just that Tuco is..."
>"..."
"Ok... how about Angel Eyes?"
>"I do not even know how that would fit."
"Well Angel Eyes scared me at first."
>"Ok, that doesn't help."
"I wasn't but a wee pony..."
>I slip into the accent I had when I first met Anon
>Accents are still really easy to do for some reason
>"That wasn't even! You..."
>He growls out some string of sounds that almost sound like words
>"That nickname fits you better anyway."
>That makes me smile
>I giggle and fidget on the ground
"How about..."
>Not a lot of names stick out
"...The Man With No Name?"
>"...what?"
"Yeah! Like..."
>My eyes widen
"Like.. it's a legend."
>I wave my hooves around from right to left
"Like a story, a fable, that everyone has heard of. Yet never seen up close. Except for a choice few who continue the legend..."
>He doesn't immediately react to your burst of creativity
>"...you telling me that everyone's heard of it but it might not exist?"
>I shrug
"Well isn't it a compliment?"
>"Not if the implication is that it doesn't actually exist."
"Oh..."
>You like the name of it
>Both of us stay quiet for a while longer to enjoy the music
"... is it weird that we're a human and a pony?"
>"Not really. There's weirder out there."
"Well yeah, like talking dogs. But, this isn't the usual, is it?"
>He shakes his head, but brings his arm up to give me a light squeeze
>"It definitely isn't, no."
"Is that really ok with you?"
>"It is."
>I idly nod
>He's weird
>But I really would not want that to change
"What if I were human?"
>"You'd still be you, right?"
"Totally!"
>"Then I would still dig you as much."
"What if I was just as small and still had a tail?"
>He smiles
>"Oh yeah..."
"Y-yeah?"
>That takes me by surprise
"That's... weird though. That's not a normal human shape."
>"No, but it would be hot."
>I almost feel jealous that I'm not human-shaped with a tail
"What if... human body, but same size, same tail, pony face?"
>Now I'm curious
>"It's still you, so obviously I would dig it hard. And it'd give me an excuse to buy you cute clothing to wear."
>Well at least he's creative about--
>Wait a second
"...wait, you can't dress me up now?"
>"Well, sure, but I don't know what would fit you. I don't know what's out there for ponies."
>I tilt my head and nod
>He has a point
"Alright... so... what if I..."
>What's the weirdest thing I can come up with?
"What if I were human, your size, pony head, tail, and could use magic."
>"How would you use magic?"
"Like... handwaving stuff. Or a wand?"
>"Why not be a unicorn in that case then?"
"Because that's not the same!"
>"I guess you have a point."
>He really is kinda hardcore
"Alright, well..."
>"Wait now, what about you? What if I were a human-sized horse all over?"
>I stifle a giggle
"Theeen... things would definitely be the same. But a bit different."
>"Oh yeah, I bet. What if I were human all over, but pony-sized?"
>I gasp
"You could ride me into battle..."
>"With what, a steak knife?"
"Well... sure. Until we win enough battles and you level up your gear."
>"Neat. Do you get armor too?"
"Obviously."
>The conversation dies again
"Anon. Are you really ok that I'm a pony? There's a world of difference and..."
>And he did get me with Applejack in mind
"And I ain't my ma."
>"Yeah. Maybe we aren't doing things perfectly. But we have clear communication, don't we?"
"Well shoot, I sure think so. I guess... someone like Ma would be more confident with this sort of thing."
>I don't feel too confident despite the conversation
"I guess I just worry."
>"That's alright, I don't mind. If I got your ma instead of you, I don't know how things would've turned out."
"Yeah... maybe you'd get that planting stuff done."
>The few plants that Anon has still look ok
>As far as I can tell
>"Eh, they're doing fine. They're watered often enough. Transplanting them would just kinda help with the bigger ones."
"Why don't we do it tomorrow?"
>"Yeah?"
"Yeah! That would be cool to do, and I bet I'm a natural!"
>"I can dig that, let's make a day of it then."
>That sounds great!
"Awesome!"
>I relax, leaning my head back until I watch the wall directly behind me
"Thanks for getting me instead of Ma. And for getting Sparky. And Dashie. I don't know what I could do or say to express that."
>Despite how much it does mean to me, I sound as casual as he does
>"And I'd do it again if given the chance. Same with the other two nerds. But next time.. .let's steal Dashie and save me some money."
>I give a mock gasp
"Stealing is a sin, Anon!"
>"And we're both sinners. We fit pretty well then, don't we?"
>Dang, he has a point
>I bend my neck back and rest the side of my face on his chest
>"Is it ok to do nothing on nights like this?"
"Sure. We're spending time together. I would really prefer to be around you than to be alone. I'm alright when I'm alone. But I'm comfortable when you're around. I'm happier with you around."
>That really makes you smile

>Anon got a lot of dirt the other day
>It doesn't smell like any dirt I'm used to smelling but maybe it's just higher quality
>We didn't get around to actually moving any plants around though
>I kinda wanna surprise him and do a little transplanting, myself
>Doesn't seem too hard to do, anyway
>After watching some YouTube on Anon's bed, I gallop into the living room
>Maybe I can get help from D-
"...hello?"
>She isn't in the living room
>Sparks isn't here either
>I rush back to Anon's room
>Of course they aren't in there either
>I sneak through the second, smaller and empty bedroom
>The bathroom
>The shower
>The fridge
>The closets
>They're nowhere
>I sit down in the hallway, unable to honestly figure out what's going on
>It almost feels like how things were before we found Sparky
"Sparky... Dashie..."
>I whimper
>Anon couldn't have taken them to work and not me too
>Or
>... they weren't kidnapped, where they?
>I look over my shoulder
>What if they were?
>Who would I report it to?
>Who would Anon report it to?
>In the middle of my panic, the front door opens
"WAAAAAGH! HELP, IT'S A-"
>Dashie walks in first
>Then Sparks
>She's levitating a pillowcase above her head
>I leap into Dashie, giving her the tightest hug
"I thought you guys were gone!"
>The pegasus chuckles and welcomes my hug, sighing
>"If I knew you'd be so happy to see me, I might have to leave a little every day."
>Sparks scoffs, as usual, and slinks into the living room
>I let go and follow her
"Hey, where did you guys go? Why didn't you let me know?"
>The bag she has lands on the ground with a slight jingle
"Oh, what's in there?"
>I reach for it and Sparks slaps away my hoof
>"Geez, we're gone for like a few seconds and you freak out! Will you just... go away already?"
"No! You went out with Dashie and didn't even ask to bring me!"
>"Yeah, because you'll freaking blab about it to Anon!"
"What? What's wrong with going out for a walk?"
>I reach for the bag again and manage to push it before Sparks headbutts my leg
>It jingles and opens up on the end
>A lot of coins spill out
"Oh neat! Where'd you get them?"
>Sparks grunts out a frustrated 'UGH'
>"For crying out loud, Jacky!"
>Dashie strolls into the room, watching the fighting
>"Anon could use some help with money... so we just went looking for some. "
>I frown, confused
>Money doesn't just sit around like in video games
>Right?
"Where'd you find all of it? That must be like..."
>I don't really know what they have or how much of it they have but it reminds me of bits from the show
"...like a ton!"
>"We just found it."
>Dashie smiles at me
>She's always had a way with words, and there's no way she would lie to me
>"An awful lot of people tend to leave small coins on the ground. I guess they don't think it's worth it. So we went around, picking up what we could and here we are now. It was very boring, you wouldn't like it at all."
>"What she said..."
>It does sound boring
>But I wanted to be a part of it too!
"Well I guess you have a point but... come on, you know I'd help out too!"
>"Of course we do, you'd do anything to help Anon. We know that."
>Her smile never falters
>"But we also gotta make sure that someone holds down the fort, right?"
>She makes some really good points but I still wish that I could've been a part of it
"Alright... I guess."
>I sit down, huffing
"I guess you two did work well together if it was serious. And helping Anon with money really is a serious thing."
>I watch the bag
"So... what do we do with it? Do we just give it to Anon?"
>Dashie and Sparks look at each other
>Sparks shrugs
>"I guess? I mean... I'm sure he can use these. He's always used a card or paper money. If there's a way to turn coins into either of those, we're set."
"What if he can't?"
>"Well, money is money, Jacky. We'll find a use for it for sure."
>Dashie sits near me and extends a wing to hug me
>"But it's nothing to worry about. It will work out fine, just you see."
>I nod, smiling
"Oh yeah, definitely."
>I watch Sparks spill out the bag, putting various coins into groups based off of how they look
>After a few minutes it does get a little boring to watch
"Hey... Dashie?"
>"Yes, Jacky?"
"If Sparks is gonna spend all day counting, wanna hang out and watch a movie with me?"
>"Absolutely!"
>We both get up and leave the grumbling unicorn
"I saw a few cool things on the internet we can watch and I think Anon would like them too."
>Dashie chuckles and nods
>"I bet he would.My, what would you do with yourself if you didn't have him to think of?"
>I grin
"Hey, you can't blame me! It's like... I don't know, a first chance."
>I feel bad for asking what I did before
>Once we enter the bedroom, I nudge the door so it's more closed than open
"Dashie... I gotta ask... were we ever the bad guys? I mean, I know we did what we had to just to eat and... it ain't our fault that we were like that."
>I did ask her something like that before, I think
>No one's really wanted to talk to me about the dream stuff since it happened
>At least it was kinda just the one dream
>At least for me
>"Should you really worry about that sort of stuff? It was a long time ago. Or it may as well be, given how things are now."
"Well, no, I shouldn't. I should be happy with how things are. But... I guess Anon is rubbing off on me. He always talks about all of that deeper meaning stuff and... maybe there's deeper meaning to find from back then? Iunno..."
>I feel kinda awkward for trying to think like he does
>We did speak about that sort of stuff
>I think
>But I haven't told him everything either
>Dashie ruffles my mane with her hoof
>"He's made you smarter, there's no doubt there. But he is introspective, isn't he..."
>She nods to herself while sitting on the bed with me
>Rather than sitting how I do, she half-lays down
>"He asks a lot of questions, too."
"Well yeah, wouldn't you too if you were him?"
>Dashie shrugs
>"Maybe. I'm afraid I might be afraid of the answers."
"Why?"
>"Because sometimes it's better to not know things."
>It sounds like a riddle
"...what could you know that you wouldn't want to know?"
>Dashie doesn't answer for a few moments
>"Well... are there things you know that you wish you didn't?"
"Like the dream?"
>"Like the dream."
>Would I be better off if I didn't know about the dream?
>Would it be better if I just didn't know how I might've hurt someone or worse?
"I... I don't know. I mean, if it was real. Then it was me. But... I don't want to hurt anyone now. There's no reason to."
>"Would you hurt someone for Anon's sake?"
>I look down
>I don't like that question
>But I also don't like some questions Anon asks too
>If it was for his sake, then it had to have a good reason behind it
>Right?
>Dashie giggles
>"Oh don't get all morose on me, darling. What shall we watch?"
>I shake the gross feeling away
>But not the question
>I'll have to figure out the answer to that later
>But it would be for a good cause
>It would have to be

>Today Anon and I are playing a strategy game
>Or, more like he's playing it and I'm his most valuable adviser
>Right now it's just a pair of people that crash-landed on an ice sheet
"So... how do they survive?"
>"Easy; you see that steam geyser?"
"Yeah?"
>"Well we're gonna have them build a home with that at the center, to give heat."
"Wait, how?"
>"Well, you see all of the steel we have, right?"
"Yeah?"
>"So they build walls from that."
"Oh... how do they know how to do that?"
>"Space knowledge."
>In no time, he makes a few rooms that are loosely kept together
>The game says the temperature is so cold that it's in the negatives
"So... where's food?"
>There was maybe a dozen meals at the start but I've seen how quickly that can run out
"Well, Jackernaught, we're gonna have to find some soil and make a place warm enough to grow food... we can also do cannibalism."
>I grimace
"So... one of them has to eat the other?"
>"Oh no... nothing like that. We can just wait until raiders and then eat them."
>That sounds even worse!
"How are there raiders out on this block of ice?!"
>"Well, how are we on the ice?"
"We crash-landed!"
>"Exactly."
>I grumble while he plays, dissatisfied with the logic of it all
>Though he makes really quick progress despite neither of the people being competent builders
>I go from sitting to laying with my head on his lap as he plays
>He has a desk and a chair but I personally like the bed better
>After a few more in-game days, everything is made and actually pretty comfortable
>He even made a little farm plot for rice
>A lot of it really kinda goes over my head just because of the resources that are being kept, preserved and used
"...so when do we get to the action?"
>"Jack, my dear. This is the action."
>I blink hard a few times
"What?"
>"This is kinda just a relaxing game, once you get used to it."
"Oh... well that's alright too. I'm relaxed."
>I sigh when I feel Anon's hand go to my head
>I've let my mane go back to normal instead of the twin tails
>It feels different enough to feel fresh again
>"By the way, Jack. Can you keep an eye on the place when I'm at work?"
"Mm? Why?"
>I close my eyes and nuzzle his leg
>"Well... keep it between you and me but there have been a few reports of a few vending machines down stairs that were vandalized. Same with that laundry room change maker. I doubt it'll be a big deal but... just don't answer the door if you hear someone knocking, alright? If it's management, they can slip paperwork under the door like normal."
>I nod, inhaling
"I'll keep us safe. I bet Sparky would try something silly like setting him on fire."
>"Yeah... and then everything gets on fire. Just be careful for me, ok? I don't want you girls getting hurt or worse."
>He worries so much
>I nod and exhale
"I'll keep us safe until you come back. I promise."
>"That's my Jack."
>The music from the game puts me into a comfortable half-asleep lull
>Until a loud alarm blares
>"Jack, we got a raid!"
>My head bolts upright, though my eyes aren't able to focus
"Aim for the heart, no survivors!"
>"Check out this warlord, we're gonna have a close call!"
"Fill him full of... holes..."
>He clicks on the singular raider
>He's wearing what's basically a loin cloth and wielding a steel shiv
>A shiv?
"Hey, Anon. What's a shiv?"
>"Tiny knife."
>I squint and watch the lone raider make his way to the base
>Or try to
>Halfway through his journey, he falls over
"...what happened?"
"Guy's dying of hypothermia, seems like. It is like negative thirty out."
>I give Anon a wry look
"...you really wanna call this action?"
>"...well he can become food."
"Ew."
>"Delicious food."
"Ew!"
>"They're both cannibals anyway, it's one of their three traits."
"Ew?!"
>Anon chuckles at my reaction
>"Don't worry, there are wild animals nearby they can shoot too. And once the rice comes in, we'll be set for food as long as we keep it going."
"Well that's better, kinda..."
>I lazily thrash back and forth until I rest on my back
>Anon's thigh makes for a good pillow
>"Anon... what would you do if I could get money for you?"
>"I'd appreciate it. But I wouldn't expect you to do it. You wouldn't have to. Spending time near me... that's really what keeps me going the most. Even if I don't always say it."
>I close my eyes, trying to hide a big smile
"I feel the same way. One day I wanna find ma and introduce you to her. I think she would really like you."
>I feel so comfortable
>I kinda wish I did have ma around to talk to
>She might have some good advice for stuff like this
>Applejack really would be the best ma
>I feel Anon's hand go to my throat and under my chin
>"Yeah... I wish I had a family to show you off too..."
>I listen to the music in the game for a while
>It sounds like western music
>Like a space western
"Anon."
>"What's up?"
"If we land on an alien planet or something, can I have a gun?"
>"How will you fire it?"
"Iunno. Space western tech."
>"Fair enough."
>Though I don't notice when it happened, Sparks ended up on the bed
>Anon keeps petting me so it's hard to focus
>It sounds like something about coins
>His hand stops petting and scratching my chin
>I try to speak up but I feel so tired that I can't even see straight
"Wait... for me."
>I mumble out something
>You gotta remind Sparks and Dashie to not go out, otherwise they might come across whoever was damaging the things
>Just after a nap you'll update them

>Dashie and I decided to go out with our scooters. We went pretty far from home and ended up on a big road somewhere. It was nice and there wasn't anypony else on the road.
>We stopped when we saw what looked like a fallen power line. I had seen electricity before, a lot of really big buildings had it.
"Oh Dashie, check that that thing! It's whipping around like a snake!"
>Dashie looks at it and at me. She isn't too confident about it since we could be blamed for it by some passing authority figure.
>"I don't think I like the looks of it... what do you think we should do?"
>My eyes widen. I've seen stuff like this before!
"Let's launch over it! It'll be awesome!"
>I get ready to scoot off toward it but freeze when I see... is that Anon?! What is he doing here?
>He's near what looks like some utility van. He notices me and grabs some sort of pair of scissors on a long stick. He smiles at me.
>"Who wants a body massage?"
>I star at sheer shock as he comfortably tests out the stick. Dashie scoots up to me while Anon approaches the fallen power line.
>"...what did he just say to us?"
>Anon, in some sort of smooth singing mood, idly vocalizes while trying to grab the whipping line. He looks pretty comfortable with it even though it could really be dangerous.
>I watch him successfully grab onto it. He whips it out of the road with a strong grunt.
>"Mr. Body Massage machine, GO!"
>"Um... what the hell?"
>Dashie looks at me like it was the most alien thing in the world. I look at her the same way but I can't take my eyes off of Anon for long.
>He puts his fists on his hips and winks at me. He seems proud of having taken care of the threat.
>"Body massage."
>I bolt upright with a yelp
>What the hell was that?!
>I frantically look around, just to see that I'm in bed
>Blanket on me, pillow under my head
>An unappealing saliva smear on the pillow
>Anon pokes his head around the hallway corner, into the room
>"Y'alright, Jack?"
>I stare at him like he was some sort of freaky ghost
"Y...yeah... did you give me a body massage?"
>He looks at me a little funny
>"No... but I'm all for giving one if you like."
>I feel a little funny
"L-later..."
>It is a little too early for that
>And I don't think I would be able to handle two body massaging Anons in my head
>After going to the bathroom and waiting to cool down, I join Anon in the living room
>Of course, Sparks and Dashie are in there too
"What's up? It's still kinda early in the morning, isn't it?"
>Anon pats one of the pillows beside Sparks
>Sparks and Dashie are on a pillow
>I join them but can't notice that Anon is out of grabbing distance
>"Now I wanna talk to you girls about something."
>My ears immediately go flat at that tone
>That's a serious tone
>Sparks looks bitter
>Dashie looks worried
"What... what for?"
>"Well, Sparks was kind enough to have found some spare change for us."
>His eyes focus on her
>She doesn't return the eye contact
>"But. Turns out, her finding money fit the story pretty closely to the string of petty vandalism and even attempts at robbery that have been going on around. Both in this building and the ones nearby."
>Sparks scoffs at the implication
>I know exactly what this is about
>"Now... I asked Sparks and she said her and Dashie went out to grab stuff. Granted, for us, but still steal things."
>He looks at Dashie
>She really looks guilty
>"But... Dashie said she had nothing to do with it. That it was all Sparks and she could be the only one to do it even though Sparks says otherwise."
>He looks at me
>The weight of his stare is deeply uncomfortable
>"But what's more interesting is that neither of you said that Jacky is included. So, Jack, do you know what happened with all of this crap?"
>I audibly gulp
>I'm not guilty of anything, he must know that!
>But why are they claiming something different?
>I glance over at the two
>Sparks glares at me
>Dashie keeps a straight pokerface
>She shifts her head to the side a little, almost trying to be as subtle as possible to shake her head
>What's wrong with Dashie?
>I would never lie about either of them!
"Well..."
>"Eyes on me Jack. Please. This is a serious matter. If anyone caught any of you, there would be no doubt of where you came from. If that led to trouble with us keeping the apartment..."
>He sighs
>"To be honest, I don't have the coin right now to afford another place and all of the crap that would be included. Same with a moving vehicle."
>Well that would be true
>And it would really hurt everyone if that happened, most of all him
>I can't lie to him
>Especially on something like this
"I... I saw both Dashie and Sparks come back inside the apartment, once."
>Out of the corner of my eye I can see Sparks smirk
>And Dashie hang her head
"I was so worried that I was alone or caught in a nightmare or something and... they just kinda came back in. But I didn't really get a clear message. I was told that a lot of people just dropped coins and stuff and didn't care."
>Anon looks at me
>Almost like he isn't sure if he believes me
>That look really doesn't feel good
>"People have dropped an entire bag's worth of coins?"
>I shrug, trying to remember what Dashie told me
"Like... remember that one time you dropped a dime and you didn't really care? I thought it was just something like that. So... I didn't worry about it..."
>Anon sighs
>His judgement focuses on Dashie
>She looks twice as guilty now, but I try not to stare
>"So... wanna try again on what's been going on? Sparks seems to be telling the truth. Her details match Jack's."
>Dashie doesn't speak for what feels like hours
>But Sparks and Anon are still just watching her
>This doesn't feel right
>Dashie wasn't right for trying to throw Sparks under the bus
>Again
>She did this before
>"I need to repay you... you spent a lot of money getting me out of wherever I was."
>"And in the process you put everyone here in danger. Including where we live."
>Anon turns to Sparks
>"Same goes for you. You think being honest is supposed to absolve you from this shit? What would you do if someone caught you? Either of you? None of you have any identification, none of you have any way to contact me if I'm not around, most likely no weird normie cares if you guys get sent to... who fucking knows where?!"
>Sparks averts her eyes and sighs
>"Well them maybe you should put a collar on us."
>"...honestly, maybe I should."
>Both Sparks and I look at him
>I look at her and she looks at me
>We're both blushing
>Dashie is the only one who doesn't really seem to care
>"Honestly, I'm not too sure what else would be the best. I don't mind you guys going out or whatever. But you need to stay safe. That's my priority. If it means having a little tag or something to help identify you to me to others... well, we may have to do that."
>"Does that mean leading us around on a leash too?"
>Sparks leers at him with a grin
>Is she taking this seriously?
>"I'm gonna dunk your head in the toilet and give you a swirly if that's what it takes."
>Anon really does not sound happy
"I'm sorry, Anon..."
>He shakes his head
>"I don't want any of you to apologize. Apologies won't undo any of this. I just want all of you to be safe and careful. That's what matters to me."
>Sparks goes back to frowning
>"So... do we return the money?"
>Anon looks at her like she put a shoe on her head
>"What? No, of course we don't. They find out it was us, we're screwed. No it's..."
>He sighs and shakes his head
>"We're just going to keep it. Find a Coinstar or something and then convert it to whatever in dollars. And then never do it again. Or else."
>None of us speak up to him
>We can pretty reliably guess what 'or else' means
>Even if it's coming from him and not some uncaring guard
>All of us sit there, looking at each other
>"So... since this is all settled. And since I know for a fact that none of you would want to endanger any of us... who wants breakfast?"
>Like a bunch of kids, all of us raise our hooves
>"Alright. Dashie."
>She looks at him
>"Let's go grab something, you and me. You can help me carry whatever bags."
>She looks at me
>And Sparks
>And gets up
>When Anon gets up, she follows him
>Sparks and I sit and wait in silence until they leave the apartment
>We wait longer before I finally speak up
"...do you really think we're gonna have collars or something?"
>Sparks sighs
>"Oh I hope so..."
>Now that it's just her and I, I growl
"Sparky... knock it off."
>"No."
"I mean it. That sort of stuff really makes me uneasy."
>"And I get jealous whenever I hear you two doing anything, or talking about doing anything. Like body massaging?"
>My ears finally perk up
"W-wait, that wasn't an innuendo!"
>"Wasn't it?"
"No!"
>I tell her about the dream in a flurry of motions and attempts to deepen my voice
>By the end of it, she just looks at me like I was stupid or something
>"Jacky."
"Yeah?"
>"You're so freaking weird sometimes..."

>I wait in the living room for Anon and Dashie to come back
>After five minutes, Sparky mutters something under her breath and wanders off
>I don't like just... sitting here
>But I don't know what else I can do
>Why did Dashie lie?
>Maybe she wasn't completely truthful before
>Maybe all of us left another behind at least once
>Sparky left me behind once
>I don't remember a lot about it
>I don't want to
>I'm not a criminal like that
>Not anymore
>Anon's probably giving her one of those long talks
>He likes those
>She's not really as talkative
>I finally stand up and check the clock on the laptop that's been hiding behind the makeshift stage curtains
>I don't even really remember how long the stage was made
>It was Dashie and Sparky that were working together to practice singing
>I thought they were getting along so much better
>Even though it's not the same as the laptop I use, I nudge my nose against the track pad to bring up the browser
>Playing some music wouldn't help
>Not really
>Going through the playlist is nice, though
>And there are other tabs
>Wait
>Other tabs?
>I nudge the mouse over and click on them with a boop of the nose
"Dealing with loss... what?"
>Was that something Anon had up?
>He haven't used this laptop in so long
>Sparky wouldn't have done that either
>She's loud and kinda mean sometimes but she hasn't lost anything
>I poke at the next tab
"I feel alone..."
>I go to the next tab
>The next
>The next after
>All of these are about feeling isolated or alone
>There's no way this was Anon
>And there's no way I'd use this laptop or even search for those things
>It would have to be either Sparky or Dashie!
>I gallop, full sprint into Anon's bedroom
>And trip into the mattress, my face slapping into the soft corner of it
>Sparks just looks at me out of the corner of her eye, a controller hovering in front of her
>"Remembered that beds are soft?"
>I get back up, shaking my head hard
"Now ain't the time for jokes, Sparking Shine!"
>Sparky looks at me funny
>And puts down the controller
>"...alright Jacky. What's going on?"
>I climb onto the mattress, staring at her for any signs of... anything that might help
"Do you use the laptop out in the living room?"
>"I haven't touched it in a while, no. I would rather use the one in here or Anon's computer. It's not like I can't use a keyboard without touching it. And I don't know why I would go on the internet when I have games here now. Why?"
"Come on, quick."
>I bounce on the bed once... twice, and then jump off of it
>I don't often get chances to jump on the bed and Anon isn't here to stop me this time
>I gallop back to the living room laptop
>Though Sparky isn't going as fast as me, she is following
>She joins me behind the blanket-turned-curtain and looks at the laptop
>Using some weird shape of shimmering red magic, she looks through the tabs I did
"I don't think Anon looked those up."
>Sparks doesn't really seem to have any sort of expression on her face
>"No... he probably didn't. When this was first set up there weren't any tabs open at all."
"If I didn't do this, you didn't do this, Anon didn't do this..."
>"Then it was most likely Prism."
"Sparking... what do we do? Did you know about this?"
>"Can't say I did, no."
"What do we do? Was she acting weird when you two were out?"
>Sparky sighs and shrugs
>"I really don't know. She acted the same way as she always does. Kinda quiet. Acts like she knows better than you. Let me do most of the work."
>I nod
"Well... magic is kinda really useful around here..."
>She looks at me
>But she really isn't as worried as I am
"What do we do?"
>"I don't know. Neither of us are Anon so I doubt we could pull some speech about understanding out of our asses."
>Her deadpan snark makes me snarl with a snort
"Oh enough of that! We need to help her as ourselves, none of this acting like we're someone else!"
>I look behind me to the curtain, almost expecting them to come back any moment
"We're all friends, none of us are alone! None of us have ever been alone! We've always had each other and we have each other now, and then some!"
>"Should I play some triumphant music for you too?"
>My front legs tense up
>She could really do with a solid kick right about now
"This ain't no time for games, dang it! Why are you making light of this?!"
>Her eyebrows rise up
>"What's with that country accent..."
>She shrugs with a sigh
>"Jacky...I get it. If this really is Prism's work... I get how she feels."
>She averts her gaze from me
>"But... I don't know how to talk to someone who has that sort of thing going on. I don't know how to even talk to myself about that stuff. I don't think I have the tools or skills or whatever I should call it. I hang out with you, Anon, sometimes Prism... and I play video games. And I'm happy with that. I'm happier doing that than I've ever been nursing my wounds on my own, of seeing you two only if there was a job with something in it for me."
"Well I get that... but Dashie's one of us. We ain't us without her. She ain't her without us."
>"I guess that's true. Without her around, I don't think any of us would end up remembering things."
"Ma wouldn't sit by and let this happen... we can't either. We gotta do for her what you and she did for Anon."
>"Jacky, Applejack isn't even..."
>She sighs
>"Alright... so do you have any ideas or plans?"
>I smile at her
"Not a single one."
>"What the hell are you smiling at, then!?"
"Because this can't be some long, convoluted plan. Now they may be back any minute now..."
>"Or they could even be down the hallway."
"Right! So when she gets back... let's just love her!"
>Sparky's eyes widen
>"What?"
"Yeah! Let's just... like... give her some hugs. Massage her wings. Just... whatever we can do that might really help her out. Show her that we care."
>"Are you sure she even wants that?"
>I thrust my hoof out at the laptop
"I'm sure she ain't happy and I'm sure we need to do something about it or else we really aren't friends and if we aren't, we ain't got nothin'!"
>She smiles more and more from my growing attempt at a vaguely southern accent
>"You're really going all in on that, aren't you."
"Darn tootin' I am, now help me figure out the best way to get us into her heart so she ain't lonely no more!"
>Sparky exhales and shakes her head
>"Ok, you can lay off it now, you're going too strong."
"O-oh, ok."
>"But... I guess you have a point. I'm no mind reader but we both know her well enough. But let's not make this such an obvious thing, ok? If I were her, and I'm glad I'm not, I would feel really self-conscious if I were suddenly the center of attention. And she's never been the center of anyone's attention unless it was bad."
"Well I guess that's true too..."
>My eyes wander back to the browser tabs
"...do you think she's opening up to Anon about this?"
>"Probably. He could talk about a rock and it would be interesting."
"Why would you want to talk about a rock?"
>"Jacky, you..."
>She pats your shoulder with her hoof
>"Just worry about what's going on for now. When they come back... let's split up. I'll take Anon and start some information probing. You hang out with Prism and try to gauge her mood. Get a feel for what's on her mind. If she's open to any of us, she's probably been the most open to you due to how close you are, right?"
"Right."
>"Right. So do that and... whenever you and I are alone, we compare notes and go from there. If we're serious about this, we'll be doing a lot of good."
"And we are. I am. Anon is too."
>"Are you speaking for him now?"
"Well come on, you know he would lose sleep over it!"
>"True... well, let's-"
>Your ears perk up and twist to the side
>The front door!
"Save the chatter, let's do it!"

>Sparky and I duck out from behind the stage curtain
>She tosses herself onto a pile of pillows and loudly yawns
>Just in time for Dashie to come into view, with Anon right behind her
>"Hey there, we're back. Didn't decide on what was good so I grabbed some biscuits and delicious biscuit sammiches. Dashie decided on some new stuff so it may be a hit."
>Sparks immediately hops up, pretending to sway a little
>"Oh, awesome! Hey, Anon, I need some advice on where I'm stuck. I kinda napped while waiting for you to come back. Mind if we eat and play?"
>That was pretty smooth
>I didn't know she was so natural with acting like that
>But then again wasn't she playing a game before I talked to her?
>Anon seems to buy it, his eyebrows rising
>"Yeah? Sure, we can do that. I need to talk to you more too about this coin stuff."
>At least he doesn't sound mad or anything
>He sets down the bag and grabs two wrapped up items
>Sparks trails behind, two more full wrappers leaving the bag in an aura of red
>That all sorta just happened without me, didn't it
>I shift my focus to Dashie and she looks...
>Sad
"Well hey, Dashie! What's up? How did it go?"
>Though I did sound cheerful, I was worried
>Dashie basically drags herself to a pillow before plopping down
>I chomp down onto the bag and drag it toward her and take a seat opposite of her
"Dashidoo... why'd you lie? Didn't you go out with Sparky to get that stuff?"
>She looks guilty
>"I... I don't think I meant to."
>That doesn't make sense
"Why? He ain't gonna report us or anything like that."
>Something pokes at the back of my head
>I don't really remember anything like this
>But I speak before I can really think about it
"...You know there ain't any guards here, right? Those types we dealt with before aren't a thing anymore."
>She smiles at me for a moment, relieved
>But her smile doesn't last
>"You really don't need to worry about me, Jacky. You should be hanging out with Anon and doing more normal things than cheering me up."
>I laugh at her with a 'ha!'
"Dashie, cheering each other up is what we all do! If I've learned anything, it's that it's good to talk about things. To not let it all be cooped up."
>She doesn't look completely convinced
>"You've changed. I keep having to remind myself of that."
"Changed?"
>"I suppose I should say that you've grown."
>I puff out my chest
"Well of course I have!"
>A smile returns to her face
>"Jacky... do you remember how we were when we were younger?"
>When we were younger?
>I strain to think back as far as I can
>Anon comes up
>Easily, Anon comes up
>But a few fragmented memories pop up too
"I guess I remember..."
>Us sharing food from the first time we stole something
"...Well, I remember that bakery we stole from. You told me that it would just be for us."
>Her warm smile grows
>"That's right. That was when I decided that we had to do more. That I had to do more."
>I nod, my head leaning to the right
"Yeah... and... I guess before we knew it, that's how we always ate."
>"We sure did eat good, at least."
"Hur, yeah. Sometimes..."
>Her smile melts away
>"I never wanted you to get used to that sort of thing. I tried to keep you out of as much as possible. But I needed help... and you were so strong. So much stronger than me."
>I giggle at the ego stroke, stretching out my back legs
"Yeaaaah, I guess you could say I got ma's bucking prowess down, alright."
>I feel a slight drop in my stomach
>I think back to the dream of kicking someone
"I... uh... I guess I was good at fighting too..."
>"You were. But never for no reason, or to be selfish. It was always to help protect me."
"I guess..."
>I don't really know what to say to her
>I don't know where her head is at
"Dashie... do you really miss those days?"
>Her wings ruffle once
>She doesn't answer immediately
>"Is it bad if I do?"
"Well..."
>What was there to miss?
>It was doing a lot of bad things
>But it was a lot of fun too
>Our lives were really tough
>And a lot of things hurt too
"I don't think so... I kinda see why you would like that."
>I look at the bag of biscuits
>They actually smell really good
"But where we are now... I mean, isn't it all awesome that we have food? Water? Safety? Friends? Comfort?"
>"What do we do with ourselves, Jacky?"
"What do you mean?"
>She sounds like she isn't too happy with everything
>"You have Anon. Sparking has her video games and an entire world that can yield to her magic. I..."
>She trails off, like she wanted to stop herself
>"I don't have a purpose anymore. Even if I stole for hunger, I at least had a goal. I had a place to go to, something to do. Don't you feel like being here is just... listless?"
"Whatless?"
>I furrow my brow
>I understand her
>It's difficult to get used to things
>It's difficult to know that I can't just leave the apartment on my own and visit Anon at work, wherever that is
>It's difficult to feel cooped up
>And I am jealous of the bond Sparks has with Anon
>I want to play video games with him too and do more than be a mere bystander
>I repeat my worries to her, each truth hitting my heart from a new angle
"I don't have a horn... and I don't have wings like you, Dashie. All I have is..."
>I gulp down hard
"All I have is a connection I want to believe exists between me and the pony Anon initially wanted."
>Now that it's said and out there in the world, I feel both lighter and heavier for it
>Dashie still looks sad, but I think it's for another reason
>"Darling, you can look at that... man, and realize that it's only you he's looking at in such a way. I don't think you could ever lose against a cartoon."
>I feel unusually defensive
"Ma ain't just a cartoon! She's...."
>I thought I was going somewhere with that but Dashie's right
"She's... I want her to be real... I want to be more than just a... a gutter pony."
>I remember a guard calling me that
>Not to my face
>But I remember that name clearly
"I know it isn't perfect here... but it's so much better than anything else. And I think we're still better off now than we ever have the right to be."
>I get the feeling of something poking the back of my head
>Wait!
"And... well, about that coin stuff... can you tell us about that stuff before you do it? Even if it was Sparky's idea, can you let Anon and I know? It's not just safety and all of the stuff he said but... well. We're all friends. Almost... like..."
>I start to stumble over my words
"Like... a family? Because that's kinda close, ain't it?"
>I sound hopeful
>I really do like the idea
"I mean, how about it? We've always had each other no matter what! And now Sparky means more to us, Anon's here too. Together, we got all sorts of neat skills and stuff! Like a team!"
>I feel like I've lost the point of trying to cheer her up
>Dashie picks up on what's on my mind
>"Jacky... you worry too much. It really isn't like you to think so hard."
>I squint at her
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
>"It means that Anon's rubbing off on you... let's call it growing pains."
>She smiles at me
>"I guess we're both trying hard, aren't we..."
"Well... yeah. I want to be better. I remember who I was before and it scares me how bad I was."
>"Jacky?"
"Yeah?"
>Dashie leans down and nudges the bag with her nose
>"Let's eat and listen to some music, ok?"
>Just like that, the weight lifts off my shoulders
"Can we listen to that one song you sang?"
>"Of course... by the way, keep this a secret but Sparking chose that song."
>For some reason that revelation cleared my head of the entire conversation and all of my concerns
"That's... wow."
>"Just remember that next time she gets mad at you. She's a big softy inside."
"Is it bad if I want to make fun of her now?"
>"Yes. Make sure Anon and I are around first."