"What do I do... Rainbow Dash is getting so much bolder... I thought Anon returned my love. I mean... I think he loves me back. He said so, you know. But he just needs me to... I don't know what he needs me to do. But I can't do nothing..."
>"Yeah huh."
>THWACK
>You've been so terribly sad over the last few days
>You've cried as much as you have masturbated
>You're sure Rainbow Dash is laughing at you too
>She knows that you and Anon share a special bond
>She knows that your love of his thick, creamy, warm yogurt is only the tip of the iceberg for why you love him so
>You've tried talking to Rarity about this but as soon as you entered her parlor, she made a big panic about how she was in the middle of packing
>There's going to be a really big fashion show in Manehattan
>And she said she doesn't know how long it'll be, but she'll be gone and unable to help any further
>Good for her
>Your second option was to go to Applejack!
>She's such a good listener
>You don't know how she might help you with Anon but you need to get a friend's opinion
"Have you ever felt this sort of anxiety, Applejack? I know you are such a hard worker and do not have as many opportunities to meet a nice colt..."
>"Yeah huh."
>THWACK
>You've been walking with her for an hour now, talking to her while she goes from tree to tree
>She bucks them so hard, you're surprised the trees haven't fallen over!
>You wish you could buck Anon that hard
>He would probably buck back
>You clear your throat and flap your wings
>Your body has been so terribly sore lately, but some things just don't want to quit
"I'm so glad I'm not the only one... how can I make him and I work? It seems like Rainbow Dash is sticking to him harder and harder now... she still wears those bracelets. And one time, when I was... visiting them for a surprise, I heard them..."
>"Yeah huh."
>THWACK
"She had that silly retainer on... and she was quite loud... I, I did not watch them. Not really. But Anon really liked that..."
>"Yeah huh."
>THWACK
"I'm so jealous I, I could just..."
>You stomp down with your hoof as hard as you can
>But not too hard
>You wouldn't want to disrupt any worms that are working hard to make the soil soft and healthy
>You don't really know what worms to, to be honest
>But they would not appreciate the racket
>"Yeah huh..."
>THWACK
>"Listen, sugercube. Ah got sum stuff goin' on so ah ain't gonna be able to do a ton for ya."
>You hang your head
>You wish you wore your hoodie
>It helps keep attention off your face when the hood is up
>And Anon still likes that sort of thing
"I understand... I appreciate you listening to me either way."
>"But..."
>Applejack stretches out her hooves, each one popping and crackling
>She's so strong
>And smart too
>"Ah gotta work double quick on these here apples. Ahm gettin' a new shipment of cider in and ah gotta send them the best picks of the litter so next batch is even better. Why don't y'all come down here and try some out? Ahm gonna get everyone to show up. Rarity said that she could supply some of our tables with some fancy fabrics an-"
"Rarity?"
>You cock your head, eyes wide
"Oh no, she told me that she would not be able to help. She has a really big fashion show in Manehattan! She's doing so well for herself this season!"
>Applejack looks at you funny
>"...right... well... in any case, it's gonna be a sorta... well it ain't a party. But there will be a lot of cider to drink, food to eat, and it'll be a downright hootenanny!"
>You tilt your head the other way
>Does Anon like cider?
>He's never had it before, you don't think
"Will Rainbow Dash be here too?"
>"Well ah sure as shoot ain't gonna keep anypony out in the cold! Least of all ol' RD, what with her pushing cold clouds an' all."
>She chuckles to herself with her mellow joke
"Oh, I see... when will it be?"
>"Ahdunno. Ah suppose... six or seven? Right before the sun sets. Big Macn' me'll set everything up so we won't be stompin' around in the dark. 'Specially not after a few mugs of the best cider in Ponyville!"
>If you can bring Anon here
>And if he enjoys cider
>And drinks it
>And if you are with Anon while he drinks the cider
>You can talk to him!
>And Rainbow Dash might even be around to stop you!
>A smile spreads on your face
"Oh Applejack, this is exactly what I needed! I'll return with my date right on time!"
>You trot off into a glide before she has a chance to reply
>Fluttershy isn't out of the fight just yet!
>Rainbowdash may have won a battle but you'll win the war!
>Brace yourself, Fluttershy!
>Tonight is Operation Cider time!

>You show up at Anon's work a few minutes before he's supposed to get off
>You've been giving birds very special, very expensive birdseed to sing whenever Rainbow Dash is gone
>Due to how lovely and loud they're singing, the coast is clear
>Once she has enough cider, she won't be able to do anything well
>Once Anon has enough cider...
>Well, you will be able to express your love for him
>And his yogurt
>You giggle to yourself at how silly you've been feeling lately
>At first it was idle adoration
>But with every little adventure you've taken to become closer to him, the more you treasure him
>And the more you see Rainbow Dash as a rival
>She is a very nice, cool friend
>But she can't have Anon
>The giggle starts to turn into a louder laugh
>It's just so funny that you're even thinking of it as a competition!
>Anon is lonely and there isn't another like him in all of Equestria
>It's only natural if he needed Rainbow Dash to take...
>Care of him
>In ways
>That laughing grows louder and more joyous
>It makes so much sense!
>You just need to-
>"Hey Flutbutt. Something funny?"
>Your laughter catches in your throat
>You carefully turn to the voice
>It's Anon!
"Oh my... you caught me in such a wonderful mood! I have the best news for you!"
>"You found out a way to get me a computer?"
"Even better! Applejack is getting a lot of fresh cider and she wants us all to have some! Every pony will be there and we can all drink and have fun!"
>You hop onto your back legs and extend your front legs out for a hug
"It will be amazing!"
>"Eh... pass."
>...what?
"I-I'm sorry...?"
>"Yeah, pass. I'm planning some things for our next O&O stretch."
>The Operation couldn't end this early!
>It simply mustn't!
"B-but..."
>You stumble over your words, unable to stop from feeling panic
"R-Rainbow Dash will be there too!"
>You blurt out without thinking
>Anon looks you over
>You hope he doesn't suspect anything
>"Well... if she's going, sure I'll hang out too."
>You sigh with relief
>You feel bad using Rainbow Dash as bait
>But that is something that will help you
>And help him
>And helping your friends is very much important!
>"Oh yeah. Is the cider... alcoholic?"
"Oh my... I believe so. A lot of it tends to be. I don't know how it's made that way but it is very yummy."
>"Nice... definitely count me in then. Thanks for letting me know."
>And just like that he walks past you
>He's disengaging!?
>You drop down to normal pony posture and gallop to close the distance between you and him
"W-wait! Could I show up with you? I want to show Applejack that she doesn't have to wait for all of us to show up one by one to get things set up."
>"Sure, I don't see why not."
>Date confirmed, Fluttershy!
>You truly do have a silver tongue
>It is still pink, of course
"Wonderful! Would you like me to wear my neat clothing?"
>You watch Anon's face for any reactions
>The twitch on his lips and the laugh he gives says enough
>"Sure, why not? It looks nice on you. Makes me feel at home to see ponies wearing... well, what I consider to be normal stuff."
"Especially if you find it appealing, right?"
>"Well sure, of course. Seeing more beautiful ponies is always a pleasant sight for my sore eyes."
>You squee at the compliment
>You were modest but you did know that you were seen as attractive
>But being seen as beautiful by Anon himself?
>It's enough to make your legs weak
>"Then I promise I will wear everything! I am proud of wearing those for you!"
>You fail to contain yourself
>A giggle comes out
"Maybe after some cider, you could take them off of me?"
>Your voice turns sultry
>You've heard Rarity do that a lot to ponies when she wants something from them
>And boy oh boy do you want something from Anon
>His face turns red
>"...yeah. Drinking cider could cause you to warm up to... sure. I don't see why not."
"Oh my, thank you Anon. I know that I can trust you with my body any day of the week!"
>You feel some excitement running down your leg
>You are very happy that he is ahead of you by a human step
>But you also would enjoy showing yourself all to him, regardless of if any ponies would be watching
>You believe quite firmly that love should have no barrier
>Some of your romantic novels focus on that!
>He stops at a small branch in the road
>Your home is more away to his than it is close
>"What time will it all go down, anyway?"
"Oh, don't you worry! I will go get dressed, and we can go immediately after! If we show up early, we can explore Applejack's land. You've never seen it, have you?"
>He shrugs
>"Can't say I have."
"Then it'll be wonderful!"
>You hug onto his leg, hiding a shivering whimper
>Even his leg feels so strong and warm
>You bet he could lift you like it were nothing and do anything to you
>ANYTHING
"I will be back soon, I promise."
>"...right. You keep safe, alright?"
>He ruffles your hair with his hand and distances himself before walking off
>This is going swimmingly so far!
>But being so close to him
>And the pure satisfaction you feel by inviting him to a date before Rainbow Dash is even aware of it
>It tastes so good
>You'll have to be quick when you get home
>If you don't squeeze and work your muscles, you'll make such a scene from even a kiss!
>...Anon kissing you sends butterflies to your stomach
>Maybe you can just...
>Go behind some trees
>Then go home and get dressed

>You've heard of Applejack's famous cider and cider accessories but you've never actually tried it
>Fluttershy seems excited for it
>And Rainbow Dash will be there too
>So you really have no reason not to go
>Especially if it's free
>After swapping out some of your jars and a few quick taste tests on something, you slip out of your scrubs and fit yourself into a bit more festive
>It's really just a blue shirt and slacks that were tapered with you in mind
>Rarity made a few pairs of those for you when you first popped up
>You're not sure why some are striped or off-color
>You think she once talked about how seasons had colors in the world of fashion
>Or that colors had seasons
>"Anon! Are you home? I'm coming in... if that's ok!"
>Speaking of colorful
>You stumble out of your room, tugging the sash-belt hybrid woven into your slacks
"Yeah, yeah hold on. You know where her place is? Rainbow Dash talked about how she did some demoli...tion..."
>You see that she's wearing another hoodie, with the hood up
>Sky blue
>With bunny ears
>Those dorky glasses are on her too
"...nice. Very nice."
>She squees with a gigantic smile
>"I just knew you would like it! Rarity wasn't able to make me a new one for when we go out so I went to another really good friend and she made this and look-"
>She waggles her head back and forth
>"Bunny ears like Angel!"
>She's as goofy as usual
>But the magnifying lens glasses really just make her come across as a cuter flavor of nerd
>It's your weakness, what can you say
>"-said that if tonight goes well, she can even start making baby clothes!"
>That snaps you back to reality
"Wait, what?"
>She trots in place, giggling
>"I'm so excited, let's go!"
"Yeah, sure, lead the way."
>You really gotta start paying better attention to these things


>You follow the bouncing blue and yellow pegasus while she prattles on about how much she loves her neat fashion and that she has thought a ton on how she could be a better O&O player
>She's really taken a shining to your things
>You thought that she might've asked you about your yogurt recipes or something like that
>Maybe you pegged her wrong
>The farmland, animals, orchard and more come into view almost out of nowhere
"Jesus...these trees cover up everything. How come I've never been here before if it's so massive?"
>Think of the ingredients you could find here
>Would apple yogurt even be good?
>You don't even notice that Fluttershy has been tugging on her hand with her front hooves
>"We're almost there! I would love to take you on a tour! There's hay to roll in, apple trees to buck until you're sore, and all sorts of animals!"
>The notion of a pony owning farm animals both confuse and worry you
"Like... cows and stuff?"
>"Oh my, yes! They're the most adorable things for being so large!"
"Weird. So, where do we go fro-"
>"INCOMIIIIIIIIIIING!"
>Hey that sounds familiar
>You feel something fly against your back, a pair of legs wrapping around your neck
>"YOU MADE IT! I knew you wouldn't pass up a chance like this! Applejack's cider is the freakin' BEST!"
>You like to think that you're more civilized than you actually are
>But you did go between choked screaming and garbled threats
>You manage to grab her by the wings and stomp forward, flinging her over your shoulders
>She spins over a dozen times from your hurl, but corrects herself and dive bombs you
>You feel a sense of zen calmness
>Rather than panic, you take a solid stance
>Hold out your hand
>And extend your middle and index finger
>Rainbow Dash's charge is stopped in an instant
>You smile and nod to yourself
>Until you realize that rather than poking her eyes out, Three Stooges style, your fingers went up her nostrils
>"O... oh my..."
>Fluttershy whispers
>Rainbow Dash looks
>Well she looks mortified
>And confused
>As confused as you, but you do your best to maintain your zen sense
>You're not sure what to say to this
>Rainbow Dash flaps in the air, staring you in the eye
>"SHTOP FINGERING ME!"
>That sudden nasally scream causes you to flinch and regain your senses
>You pull your hand back, grimacing at your now glistening fingers
>She lands and turns her head away snorting and coughing
>"What gives?! Who said you could just stick whatever you like wherever you want?! The gall!"
"I was aiming for your eyes you little freak!"
>"You'd blind me?!"
"As eagerly as you'd break my neck!"
>You wipe your fingers clean and curl your fingers into fists
>Before you and her can start another round, Fluttershy clears her throat with a tender yet stern 'ahem'
>"Don't things usually turn out like this after everyone drinks cider?"
>Oh yeah
"Hey, what's her cider like, anyway?"
>"Which type?"
"She's got types of cider?!"
>"Dude, she's got it all! Now I don't know for sure but I can smell it from here and it seems like..."
>Going from hostile to friendly in an instant, you walk with the little blue hellion, discussing cider flavors all the way
>Fluttershy tries to interject but Rainbow Dash keeps interrupting her
>Which isn't the most civil thing to do but you are enthralled by gleaming what ingredients could be used
>Applejack meets you at the 'entrance' of her property
>"Well howdy y'all! Ain't you just the most energetic trio of troublemakers!"
"Hey there cowpoke, what's on tap for today?"
>"Only the finest darn cider this side of Equestria and further! RD sure knows what I'm talkin' about!"
>RD?
>Rainbow Dash gives a hoot and rushes off
>"Well dad gum she moves like someone lit her tail on fire..."
>The tall glass of southern lass focuses back on you and Fluttershy
>But does a doubletake on Fluttershy
>"Er... is it Halloween already?"
>If she's trying to hide back a smirk she's failing pretty hard
>"Oh no, not at all!"
>She whips her head back and forth, swatting her own face with the hoodie's bunny ears
>Giggling at the flappy fabric, she poses
>"It's my neat fashion sense! Anon's favorite!"
>Why did she say it like that?
"Well I like it, sure, but..."
>Applejack gives you a queer look
>"...boy, that earlier conversation sure does make more sense now, huh."
"Huh?"
>The earth pony shakes her head
>"Anyway, this way! Y'all give weird a run for it's money but you ain't gonna be able to run two hooves after you guzzle down this sweet stuff!"
>You have no clue what she just said but you're sure it'll lead to you getting blitzed so you follow
>Fluttershy follows closely, bobbing her head left and right to give the bunny ears more bounce
>You'd have thought her glasses would've fallen off by now

>Coming here was a good idea
>Though you were surprised to see Anon and Rainbow Dash fight and make up without even apologizing to each other, you're glad that she ran off ahead
>The upgraded clothing really helps too!
>The ears are the cutest things you could imagine
>The glasses are even sillier looking but they're actually like costume goggles!
>Now you can see everything fine and capture Anon's heart!
>Though you know you're early, you already see your other best friends, Twilight, Pinkie Pie
And Rarity too!
>As soon as you see her, you trot over to her, putting an extra bounce in your step to emphasize the ears
>Rarity, once she realizes it's you, spits out her cider and looks around like she's in a tizzy
"Rarity, you made it! I didn't know you would be able to fix your schedule like this!"
>"O-oh, I, um... w-why yes, Fluttershy! I'm afraid I won't be long for my trip but I just thought that I might..."
>She looks over your outfit
>You beam at her
>It really is an improvement from the initial design
>"Darling... did you make this on your own?"
>You giggle and whip your head to and fro
>The ear tips harmlessly bounce off of your eyewear, making you all the more eager to flop them around
"I haven't! I asked Pinkie Pie to help me make it a little more festive. The glasses are bigger and easier to see through. The sweater has the adorable ears and it has a color Anon likes more!"
>Rarity
>Doesn't look as happy as you thought she'd be
>"And... he likes that blue?"
"Oh my, yes he does!"
>"That very shade?"
"The one and the same!"
>"The blue that looks oh so very similar to one of our friends?"
>You blush and nod
"It is. Now that I'm blue too, I'm almost certain to catch his eye!"
>Rarity watches you, speechless
>She sighs and gulps down the rest of her cider
>"Oh Fluttershy... sometimes only experience will set you on the right path."
>Well you are on the right path, you know that much!
"Thank you for the advice, Rarity! I hope you cheer me on!"
>You stick to Anon like glue, after meeting and greeting everypony
>Some that you don't even know that well pop up too, just because they're aware of the new shipment of cider
>You think it's rather clever that Applejack makes them pay while all of her friends get to drink for free
>And Anon gets to drink too
>You aren't sure if he's really Applejack's friend but she doesn't seem to mind it
"Anon, how do you like Applejack's world famous cider? It sure is yummy, isn't it?"
>You smile the best you can at him
>He must've been thirsty, he chugged down two entire mugs of it in an instant!
"BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!"
>He howls, towering above every pony else
>Out of nowhere, Rainbow Dash rockets down from on high and swoops into him from behind
>They're going to crash!
>Except... they don't?
>Rainbow Dash slams against his back without a lick of sober grace and hugs him tight from behind
>What are they doing?
>Her wings spread out and Anon strikes a pose
>"DASHING ANON ZORD!"
>He throws his head back and lets out a screeching "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Rainbow Dash mirrors him with a just as hair raising "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>You aren't embarrassed by much
>Certainly not when you're with your very best friends
>But
>You feel yourself shrinking and backing away from the duo, who is attracting awfully funny looks from every pair of eyes
>"AWAY, THE CITIZENS NEED US!"
>Just like that, Anon takes off in a full sprint!
>How did he get so fast?!
"A-anon, wait! It's not safe to run and drink!"
>You chase after him, in your own adorable attire, adding to the scene
>Rainbow Dash flaps her wings once as Anon takes a lurching leap forward
>Your jaw drops
>Your pace slows as you watch, in slow motion, as Rainbow Dash propels Anon so high up that he clears an entire apple tree!
>You listen, utterly shocked and in awe, as they screech a musical duet of "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"s
"A-anon..."
>You whimper
"I could be a zord too..."
>Whatever that is

>Be a moderately blasted Anon
>More importantly
>Be a flying Anon
>Kinda
>After the third superhero-esque leap, you realize that you're not too sure how to land on a sloped surface
>As such, you splat flat against an upward hill
>The grass is soft, but Rainbow Dash's head is hard
>It bonks into the back of your neck, further pressing your face into the mud
>"...EeEeEeee..."
>She sounds like a motor dying down
>At least plunging into the earth slapped the sobriety back into you
"Oh... shit..."
>You groan and peel yourself off the ground
>Rainbow Dash flops off of you, still out of it
"Hey... hey! Check it out, I made an imprint!"
>You look at Rainbow Dash and nudge her
>She isn't responding
>You think she won the drinking competition but that's only because you got the glorious idea to go flying
"Psst... Dash. D-bash. D-bag."
>You keep poking her with your finger while muttering until she looks at you
>She looks kinda spacey
>"Pfft..."
"What?"
>"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
>She slaps the grass with her front leg
>"Did you see how everyone reacted? They thought you were crazy!"
"Hey, they thought WE were crazy."
>"No way, I'm innocent!"
"You're loose enough to be squeezed under a door and rolled up into a newspaper!"
>"N... am I?"
"You totally are."
>"Mm... we should have more cider."
"I agree."
>You lay on your side, facing her
>You feel like you've been in a car wreck, no matter how soft the landing was
"Hey Blue."
>"Ha?"
"Get me booze."
>"What, why?"
"Booze me, Blue baby."
>"Why can't you get it yourself?"
"Booze me part two: electric boozaloo."
>That gets her to snort and burst into laughter
>She wobbles to her feet, visibly off-balance but able to stand after
>"Fiiiiine... you owe me big time."
>You watch her swish and saunter off
"Thank youuuuuuuuuu!"
>You try to flop your arm as a wave but it doesn't want to move
>You close your eyes for a moment so the world stops spinning
>This cider shit is the good shit
>"Anon! Anon, are you ok?"
"Mm?"
>You feel a wooden mug lower near your hand
>With strength you didn't know you had, you lift it and bring it to your mouth to drink
>"I saw you and Rainbow Dash fly off and... you were magnificent! But, uhm... you crashed! Are you ok? Where did Rainbow Dash go?"
>What is this pony talking about
>After letting the fresh batch of cider slide down into your stomach, you open your eye as well as you can
>Blue pony
"Blue!"
>You exclaim and lurch over, grabbing your friend
"That was fucking awesome, man! You even got me the drink... God I love you sometimes."
>Your partner in crime freezes solid
>"Did... did you just say...?"
>You chuckle and give her an extra hard squeeze, your hand petting her flank
>Man, her fur feels kinda weird
"Oh don't you pretend! I will have you know that this is the goodest of good shit. And you know what? I'm gonna be upfront and bold. FFFFFfffffffffffffffffffuck anyone who say otherwise!"
>You swipe your hand away as to dismiss any neigh-sayers
>Only to slap the chops of the pony you confessed to
>You snort and laugh
"Oh fuck, I didn't mean that Blue."
>You try to refocus your eyes on your target
>She really is blue all over, just like remember
>But her face is kinda weird and her eyes are really bugged out
>You test your advanced theory of reality by poking one of her eyes
>They're hard like plastic and she doesn't seem to mind
"You got some freaky eyes, man."
>"A-Anon, they're... well, you like them, don't you?"
"Of course I do! Who could ever say otherwise? You dressing up like a complete fucking dork... God damn."
>You pull her close
>As close as you can, given your cider-induced excitement
"You... are one sexy creature. And I'm gonna make you mine."
>You hear a gasp and a whimper
>"W-what, what?! Really!?"
"Come on, you know you know I know you know it was gonna happen."
>"A-anon! I... I had no idea!"
"Oh you sure as sure know now."
>You grind against her with a lewd chuckle
"And before you know it, you're gonna be Misses A-"

>Be Fluttershy
>You're terrified, excited, confused, and worried all at once
>Anon is moving so fast!
>Granted, you wanted his babies and then a lovely date after, but this was a mix of both!
>He's acting so... masculine too
>In the midst of everything, you hear a slurred
>"IIINCOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING"
>Oh horse feathers, it's Rainbow Dash!
>She can't see you making love with Anon here and now!
>Anon reflexively drags his arms up to his face and screams in preparation of getting dive-bombed
>You scramble over him, dipping into the Anon-sized crater in the soft soil
>Rather than hearing a crash, you hear drunk giggling
>"Buahahahaha! Look at you! You totally thought I was gonna crash into you!"
>You peek out and over from Anon's side
>Rainbow Dash is back, somehow balancing a full mug on top of her head
>Oh my, she is dexterous
>"I had to get a refill before I got some more for you so... yeah!"
"My hero!"
>Anon swipes the mug off of her head and guzzles it down
>You're happy to see Anon so carefree and happy
>And the feeling of him against you...
>But he's drunk!
>Impossibly out of it!
>He's...
>...vulnerablel
>Oh but Fluttershy, you wouldn't!
>Would you?
>Could you?
>Your arousing schemes are cut off by Anon gasping for air after gulping down the entire mug in no time flat
>Your eyes would surely bug out of your head if not for your neat fashion glasses, when you see him grabbing Rainbow Dash
>Except it's even worse than when he grabbed you!
>His hand fluidly snakes down between her hind legs while his other arm wraps around her chest
>"A-Anon, not here!"
>"Yes here, Blue. You sexy little something."
>"N-no way, what if someone sees? What if all of the cider is gone when we're done?!"
>"Listen here, horse. I... am going to fuck you rabid. And Applejack's gonna be here and go 'wut in darnation' and act like this really bothers her."
>You giggle at his impression of Applejack
>Shocking you to your core, Anon turns his head back to you and nods
>"Thank you, Blue. I always knew you found me funny."
>While you're expecting the worse to happen, he goes back to the blue pony in his arms that's weakly writhing to escape his clutches
>"And you know what I'm gonna say to her?"
>"S-seriously, we can't!"
>"I'm gonna say I love you and that I'm gonna filly a dozen little fathers from you. And fuck it, I've seen wide-awake nightmares. How bad could things really turn out?"
>Despite the excitement and the voyeuristic rush you get from such a show, you feel your blood run cold
>He couldn't have meant that
>Rainbow Dash stops her attempts to escape
>You can see the look in her glazed over, inebriated eyes
>"W...wut? Really?"
>"Really. Just wait until I...."
>Anon goes limp, yawning
>"Just wait until I... have another drink..."
>"W-wait, don't just pass out! Say that again!"
>Rainbow Dash looks very angry!
>Oh my, you would be too if you were told such beautiful things yet it didn't actually commence!
>You squeak and hunker down in the Anon crater as Rainbow Dash climbs on top of Anon
>She stomps her hooves into his shoulder, trying to rouse him
>"Don't just tell me that and pass out you moron! Make good on it at least!"
>She sounds terribly angry
>"Don't make me beat you up! I'll do it!"
>Though it is kinda funny to see Rainbow Dash's face turn bright red, you think it may be time to escape
>It would be terrible if you were found out!
>"Wake up you big...!"
>In the middle of slapping her hooves against Anon's shoulder, he turns over
>But he turns over on the wrong side!
>You panic and try to scamper out of Anon's hole but end up getting pinned!
>You hear Rainbow Dash yelp as well
>One of her hind legs kick into your flank, even!
"Ow! Rainbow Dash, wake up Anon, I'm stuck un-"
>You try to cry out for help but
>Something
>Jams against your mouth
>"Anon, get your fat head off my chest!"
>"Mmmm... blue chest..."

>Be Rainbowdash
>Be on your back with an intoxicated Anon snuggling your chest
>You've had more than enough for it to not be safe to fly too
>But he looks like he's having the time of his life
"Ha... man, you're silly. You know that?"
>Anon gives you a lustful look and shivers, pushing his hips down hard
>As erotic as the sight is, you can't help but laugh again
"Are you really so worked up a hole in the ground will work?"
>He shakes his head
>"No, it's not you."
>Your eyes go wide
>You wiggle your lower legs around until one goes free
>It's around his chest
"Nu uh... I'm not down there!"
>Anon nods hard, rubbing his face into your fur
>"Oh yes you are. And I'm gonna..."
>He squeezes you into a hug so tight you squeak
>His hips jut forward a solid inch, like he finally penetrated
>The cider in your system makes you burst out laughing again
>He's actually sticking his flag pole in the ground!
>The pleased look on his expression looks hilarious
>You've never actually seen his face while you were doing... these sorts of things, anyway
>You don't look like this when Anon is doing things to you
>You hope
>You hear some muffled gurgling and spurt spittle out through your lips
"Is that your stomach now too?"
>Anon doesn't seem to focus
>Instead, he looks like a possessed animal
>You sigh and shake your head at his dirt pounding
>From the way he's huffing against you, he must really be into it
>Rather than feel awkward, you feel kinda proud that he's so worked up from what must be your scent
>Doing a few loops through a storm cloud would make any pony smell awesome
>And maybe charge them up to the point that you could make an apple explode
>Applejack still hasn't accepted your apology for that fruity execution
>You can hear a distinct wet noise from under him
>It sounds like he's making an actual puddle in the dirt
>But it's probably mud now
>You wouldn't be surprised if he hit the ground so hard he'd cause a river to form
"Geeze... Applejack ain't gonna be happy once she finds an Anon-shaped hole in the ground..."
>As fun as this is to watch, you're still thirsty for more cider
>You glance at the empty mugs and check a few
>Yup
>They're all empty
>You stare up at the sky while Anon strikes the earth with genuine intent
"A-Anon..."
>"Mmm... Blue..."
"...next time we have cider... you wanna do it to the real deal and not dirt?"
>"Mmm..."
>He nods, dragging his face against your fur
>You're trying to play it cool but you can feel your face burning up
>"Every time."
>This is getting to be too intimate
>The weird noises he's causing under him doesn't help the situation either
>You like him
>Obviously
>But you really aren't good with this sort of thing
"A-Anon... wanna let me go and I can get some more cider for us?"
>He shakes his head
>"Nnnoo... not yet..."
>Not yet?!
>Your eyes bug out
"W-wait, seriously? Are you really gonna do that right now?"
>He nods hard
>The wet pounding noise under him intensifies
>He's going to dig a hole to Manehattan at this point!
>You freeze as he holds you and seizes up
>He lets out a staggered breath
>And another
>And another
>And a hard shudder
"F-for Celestia's sake..."
>You grin
>He really did that because he was so worked up from your awesome fur!
>Who else in Equestria could even claim something half as great?!
"I sure hope you didn't just plant an Anon tree there."
>You snort and chuckle at the pleased look on his face
"Now you're all muddy AND soiled all over... you can't blame me on this, you know! I'm taking all of the blame and putting it on you!"
>Anon's only answer is another shudder and a content sigh
>"Oh man... I love you Blue."
>That catches you off guard
>You can't make fun of him while he's saying that!
"S-shut up... you're just drunk..."
>You finally manage to wriggle your way free of him
"Let's... uh... let's go back. Last one to finish off another four mugs has to wear the retainer!"
>You and Anon spend the rest of the evening partying it up
>Even if no one else is really partying
>Anon, clothing covered in mud of various densities, acts far more relaxed but it doesn't take long before both of you are back to mutually awesome antics
>Including swiping an entire barrel and dunking your heads into it
>It was fun until you lost your lunch in said barrel
>But it was more than half empty anyway
>By sundown, everything was spinning
>Somehow, you and Anon didn't leave each others' sides
>Even after being chased out of Sweet Apple Acres, there was no need to call it a night
>"TO SAVE OUR MOTHER EARTH FROM ANY UNICORN ATTACK"
"FROM VICIOUS BORING PARTY POOPERS WHO HAVE ONCE AGAIN COME BACK"
>"WE'LL UNLEASH ALL OF OUR FORCES, WE DON'T FUCK AROUND LIKE THAT"
"THE E V S DEPLOYS!"
>Between marching around Sugarcube Corner, visiting the hospital to steal bedpan helmets, and drunkenly scaring town guards, you somehow ended up in a ditch
>Anon's in the ditch with you, of course
>You don't hear a lot of stuff that makes sense but you hear a lot of angry shouting
>You look at him
>He looks at you and presents a large bundle of flowers that have been brutally yanked out from the ground, clumps of dirt still attached to their roots
>Both of you cackle silently while the fuming and screaming continues
>Everything swirls around and happens all at once until you finally wake up
>In Anon's bed
>By Celestia, let death come quickly
>You squint and try to look around
>Your head lolls from side to side
>Why do you smell flowers and cider?
>You spend a good few moments on a white box that's sitting on the edge of the bed
>When your focusing pays off you notice it's not a box
>It's a folded piece of paper
>You drag your face against it until it opens up
>It reveals a scribbled, nonsensical letter
>"Blue hoers, I loove cider. And you. But mostly you with cider. Shit work time, alarm hurts. If murdered, wear my helmet with pride."
>You start to laugh but the first snort causes your entire world to spin again until it blacks out into a blur
>When you come to again, you see a pair of bedpans
>One's on the bed, the other is on Anon's dresser
>Where did those come from?
>You weakly reach for the bedpan on the bed hug it close
>The cold metal feels so nice
>Anon feels nicer
>If things keep getting better like this you might have to...
>Might have to
>Whether it's the sweetness of those thoughts or the intense amount of cider mixed with flowers and trace amounts of dirt, your stomach isn't as happy as your heart
>You empty the contents of one of them into the bedpan

>Be Fluttershy
>A very quiet, hoarse Fluttershy
>While you didn't partake in Applejack's delicious cider all that much, you did watch Anon have fun
>And then he crashed, thanks to Rainbow Dash
>And then you helped sooth him
>And then
>He showed you, in no uncertain terms, that he was indeed a man
>After Anon got up and left, you were so dazed and close to leaving this world that you didn't know what to do!
>Your jaw hurt
>Your throat hurt
>Your neck all over hurt
>And you're pretty sure you might have had a misfire triggered from the sheer...
>Brutal
>Dangerous
>Painful
>Loving
>With your hoodie stained with mud, your own fluids and Anon's VERY special yogurt, you opted to quietly leave the orchard and go back home
>You were, for once, far too tired to self-sooth
>You were, for once, also so unbelievably satisfied that merely thinking about how a big strong human used you like a cheap ragpony caused a series of stampeding quakes
>By morning, your throat hurt even more
>You weren't a loud mouth pony, of course, but even now you sound even quieter than ever!
>But it didn't stop you from giving all of the animals around your home their yummy breakfasts
>Seeds, petals, cut up fruits
>Nuts
>A lot of nuts
>You think you added peanuts and cashews to almost everypony's meal!
>You couldn't shake your focus on nuts for some reason
>Oh Fluttershy, you absolute fanatic
>You smile to yourself, shuddering and listening to your body excitedly spray yet another soon-to-be mess to clean up
>Your poor, tender throat sure does hurt
>Maybe you should visit the hospital
>You're so very sure that Anon could help you out
>Maybe you could bring him some special cider as payment

Operation Cider: S U C C E S S
Sore throats: 1
Human Dicks Touched: ONE (1) ENTIRE HUMAN DICK
Human Dicks Sucked: ONE (1) E N T I R E HUMAN DICK
Marefriend Status: 'he doesn't know he's going to propose to me but I expect it any day now'
Jealousy Percentage: -100%
Rank: Mosquito