"Floor! Floor, you little dork, what did you do to make us break the data cap again?!"
>You were fine downloading a few roms
>Until your phone buzzed
>Your last courtesy month has been officially used up
>You know you use maybe 45% per month if you aren't filling your hard drives
>The little nerd pushes you up to around 90% per month if she's actively playing those lame multiplayer games or downloading anime to watch and then immediately delete
>You glance around at your desk, and then under it
>As tiny as she is, it's a wonder that she can use a laptop at all but tiny hooves meeting a mechanical keyboard has allowed her to shitpost with the greatest of ease
>Sadly that's the only thing she seems to have an affinity for these days
>You still remember when you adopted her
>She was barely the size of a kitten, and didn't like using her words
>But she was affectionate as all and didn't ever break any rules
>Until she discovered the internet
>Then she went from an adorable filly to an increasingly antisocial
>She's always viewed you as a big brother
>But thanks to those damned Japanime cartoon pictures, she keeps acting like you've escalated into some forbidden romance
>You wouldn't trade her for the world but you've yet to fall to that level of perversion to romance a tiny talking horse
"FLOOR."
>Floor Bored, the one and only, is splayed out on her side with the laptop off
>She looks dead
>You nudge her with your foot
"You ain't fooling me this time. I got that email not five minutes ago."
>Nothing
>The first time she pulled this, you did go into a genuine panic
>But now you're tempted to cremate her and be done with it
"Dang... she's really dead this time... I guess I better make use of her body while it's still warm..."
>Hearing that, her tail flickers
"AHA, YOU LIVE YET!"
>That sets her off
>Her tired eyes burst open and she looks at you like a deer in the headlights of an 18-wheeler
>"I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FLAC FORMAT!"
"LIES! DAMNABLE LIES! COME HERE!"
>You lunge down to grab at her, but bang your head on the corner of your desk
>Floorb scampers off, scurrying like a roach until she's under your bed
>She used to gallop and trot around but now she always hunkers down when she's moving
>You caught her, once, mimicking Solid Snake down to repeating everything she heard and going 'hmmm' after examining everything from a sock to an empty candy wrapper
>You slip out of your chair and hop onto your mattress, leering over the corners
>If you can keep quiet, she'll usually think you've wandered off somewhere
>She gives you a lot of credit for some things, like keeping her fed and entertained, but she seems to think that you have the intelligence of an early PS2 mook
>It takes a minute, but you see an off-white snout pop out from under the bed
>A few sniffs
>A gruff giggle
>"Colonel... I lost 'im. Proceeding with the mission."
>Belly sliding against the carpet, Floor squints hard and crawls out from under the bed
>Every few inches she stops to rub herself against the carpet
>You really don't want to give her The Talk but you get the feeling that it'll come sooner than later
>You wait for her to move out another few inches before you lower your hand toward her
>With a scream that only a scary skeleton could give, you grab her flank
>The pint-sized pony matches the scream with her own and leaps up, curling into herself
>Her mane an even bigger mess than usual, she peeks up at you with one exposed eye
"You really gotta be careful with what you grab."
>She nods
"If this happens next month too, we're gonna get charged extra. That's not small money."
>Her gaze stays on you, not budging an inch
"That means less snack money for you."
>The little dork whines out something that's surely a perfectly valid, sensible excuse as to why she lost control of how much she was downloading
"What was that?"
>She mumbles out something
>And coughs
>"...er....sorry..."
>She doesn't exactly sound sorry
>You go limp and melt into the bed
>Your knuckles rest on the carpet
>She used to follow rules and instructions far better
>Is this the equivalent of pony puberty or something?
>A few minutes of closing your eyes, you feel something wet rub against your hand
>It's her tongue
>"I'm sorry... I was making you a rar of audiobooks."
>She curls up around your hand and wrist
>You get the feeling it's far more than that
>But it's probably partially true
"Yeah..."
>Your reply is half-muffled by cushioning fabric
>Good thing you live alone, aside from her
>You relax, having lost the will to continue with your own archiving
>"Hey... Anon?"
>She sounds as quiet as ever
"Mmmhmmph?"
>You don't even lift your face away from the comfortable pitch darkness
>"...can I still have snacks?"
"Mmmph."
>You're too damn soft with her sometimes
>"Sweet."
>You can hear her whisper to herself
>The licking resumes again
>You can't prove it but you think she has an ulterior motive for doing it
>"Anoooooon..."
"Mmmmph."
>"Are you still my bf?"
>She's still on about the 'bf/gf' thing
>You don't particularly dislike the idea but it still seems odd since you effectively raised her
>She hasn't been subtle with the hints lately either
>She once sent you a message containing shortstack porn
>While you were at work
>With a message of 'do u thnk i could do that lolz'
>She is a horrible typist
>But her words per minute rate is astonishing given how tiny she is
>Rather than dignify that question with an answer, you drag your head up and stare at your computer
"If I say 'yes', will you stop downloading three hundred gigs, only to delete it all within the same hour?"
>You hear a nervous giggle
>"L... love overcomes all trials..."
>So that was her way of saying 'no'
>You start to raise her hand up so it can rejoin your body
>Floorb shrieks and glomps onto it as tightly as she can
>Treating her like a dollop of slime, you whip your hand around
>To no avail
>She's gripping onto you with the strength of gorilla glue
>More worried about accidentally bonking her against something than getting her off your hand, you quit after a minute and just set your hand down on the bed
>Dizzy but successful, Floor releases your hand and sluggishly drags herself to your side
>"I'm sorry... I'm a bad pony."
>That she is
>You huff, unable to think of how you can help implement a better rule system
>Those internet may-mays are starting to warp her brain
>What brain she has left
>"I'm a naaaughty pony..."
>Floor whispers, rubbing her head against your side
>Here it comes
>"Punish me, onii-chan..."
>Ok, that's it
>You slap your hand down on the lower half of her body
>She's still growing, but as of now she can still find a way to curl up in your hands if she's a tight enough ball
"You... are powering for a showering."
>While the pseudo-spank causes her to imitate some sort of hentai horse noise, the threat causes her to sort herself out
>"S-sorry, Anon... I'll be good. I'll send an email next time I want something bigger than a single song."
"Thank you."
>You want to get up and get back to things but you can feel her nuzzle against you
>She's slowly assimilating your hand into her fluffy body
>"Let's take a nap... and once we're done thinking about it, we can have some ice cream to celebrate me having learned my lesson for today."
"Yeah... sure."
>You want to be mad at her but you can't
"But if I wake up and you're on that school calculator you call a laptop, I'm using the oatmeal shampoo."
>"You got funny fetishes... that's ok, I do too."
>When did she even learn that word!?
>Fucking internet
>Floor used to be a good little pony

>You don't sleep for too long
>It's the curse of the weekends; so much free time and chances to do anything
>So the best thing your body can stick to is sleeping
>Floor tends to sleep entire days away as is
>She has her energetic bursts of energy, though
>Last time she did was when you introduced her to the original Power Rangers
>Rather than making a mask, she made a turtle shell and blended the blue ranger with Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
>She really was such a sweet thing before she learned about sexual things
>She still is
>You grumble something about turtles when you finally come to
>Evidently in your sleep you went from laying on your stomach to laying on your back
>You feel your sides and have no signs of tiny pony
"...Floor?"
>You don't feel anything under you so you didn't turn over and squish her
>Your back creaks as you sit up
>You didn't want to check, but you do
>Floor's laying between your legs
>Face mashed into your crotch
>You normally stick to boxers and a shirt when at home
>You didn't really think anything of it
>You might need to change that
"...Floor. Floor!"
>You watch Floorb visibly shudder
>And hear her inhale as hard as she possibly can
>She nuzzles her muzzle up against one of your boys
"Come on, wake up. Ice cream waits for no mare."
>She muffles out some sort of excuse, shaking her head back and forth
>A little embarrassed by her attempt to motorboat your lads, you scoot back
>You see an intoxicated Floorb shaking her face back and forth
>She opens her mouth wide, extends her tongue
...
>And opens one eye
>Not only is her mouth empty
>Not only is the warmth and scent of you gone
>But she sees you glaring down at her
>She stays in that pose
>Unblinking
>Unmoving
>A strand of saliva drips down from her tongue
>You purse your lips and sigh
"Have a good nap, did you?"
>No response
>She seems completely married to the concept of acting like a statue
>Like maybe if she does it long enough, she'll convince you that she wasn't going at it with you
"You know, you shouldn't do that."
>No change in movement
"How long were you actually sleeping, anyway?"
>Not a single budge on her part
>Another strand of saliva drips from the corner of her mouth and onto the bed
>You get that she's a growing pony, but this is just uncomfortable
"Alright... you stay there. I'm going up and having some shebert. Might even have a Pocky stick or two thrown in, like what you see in those anime shows..."
>You turn and get up
>Less than two steps away from the bed, you see a blur of black and white zip past you, down the hallway and into the kitchen
>One of these days you're gonna understand her
>By the time you reach the kitchen, you see Floorb prancing around the fridge door in some sort of ritualistic dance
>"Semenai de! Kesanai de! Makenai de!"
>If she actually made an effort to pick up another language skill, you'd be impressed
>But you recognize those lyrics
"Oh hey, you're up! You know, I had the funniest thought that you were napping with your mouth open. and your eye open. And not at all actually napping."
>Floor stops her dance, peeks over her shoulder to see you, and slowly gets back down on all four hooves
>"O-oh. Good morning Anon! Y-yeah, f-funny thing huh..."
>She's a terrible liar
>You think she does it just to save face for her own sake
>You don't have any friends so it's not like you'll ever tell anyone about all of her... moments
>You shake your head and scoff
"Crazy thing... I shudder to think what would happen if I didn't wake up when I did."
>The munchkin pony laughs a loud, awkward, uncomfortable laugh as you set up the snacks
>"Y-yeah, imagine that! I mean, what? Me? No, I'd never imagine that! No, never. Certainly not because it's you, big bro!"
>You choose not to answer her
>You do have a few boxes of Pocky kept in reserve
>Far above and beyond anything that could resemble her reach
>You think that's a reason why she never really rebels against you
>You've heard her screech and reee before, mostly at whatever is taunting her on her computer
>But she hasn't ever done that to you
>Except that one time
>You left her in a pet carrier for an entire eight hours when you went out for work as punishment
>When you came back, she was comotose
>The only thing that revived her was one of those hazelnut mochi blobs and the promise of watching Inuyasha
"Alright... chocolate or strawberry?"
>"STRAWB--wait, what type of sherbet do we have?"
"Orange."
>"NO, CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATIZE ME, CAP'N!"
>That gets a snort out of you
>She meshes really well with you, humor-wise
>She meshes well with you on a ton of things, really
"Alright, two orders of the good stuff! Now head back to..."
>You try to show her the bowls and she's already gone
>"I'M ALREADY HERE, LET'S WATCH SOME STUFF!"
>God damn she's fast if she wants to be
>You walk back to your room and see her sitting in place
>The smile she's giving you is... odd
"What are you doing?"
>"Colon three."
"Wat."
>"Colon three."
"Wat."
>"Colon three."
"Wat."
>"ICE CREAM PIE ME ALREADY DADDY!"
"Oh God damn it Floor."
>You sit down on the floor and set her helping down first
>Rather than a human-sized bowl, it's a tiny plate that has a scoop and a half of shebert
>From a tea spoon
>You also stuck two tiny segments of Pocky stick into it
>One with chocolate
>The other with strawberry
>She lets out a joyful, awkward scream when she sees it
>"BOTH!? I LOVE YOU!"
>You watch her cease her screaming only when it's full of orange goodness
>It lasts for maybe three entire chomps before she falls over, fainting goat style
"Brainfreeze, huh."
>She knows better, she just lacks self control
>You shudder to think what would happen to her if you were really sick or unable to do much
>You were sick once
>You never saw such a tiny thing cry so much
"So, we got Death Note to finish... and Chobits."
>Your answer is a chilled whimper