>They say if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.
>Well, you’re staying into something that could be considered an abyss, but then why does it have eyes? Pale eyes, that follow you, your every move.
>Why doesn’t it scare you? You should be afraid, but you’re not. It’s probably because there was something comforting in the darkness. A peace perhaps? No, that isn’t it.
>Your thoughts are distracted by a noise.
>A sound akin to insects crawling rises slowly, something about it is off. You can’t quite place it though. Whatever it is, it’s making your skin crawl.
>Slowly, the abyss takes shape. The features attempting to form from the nothingness. The eyes stare back at you the whole time, they are familiar. A face you know, like an old friend you haven’t talked to in years.
>A head takes form and with it, the features mold to it. Features you should know, but don’t.
>Why can’t you recognize it.
>Run says your instincts.
>What?
>YOU NEED TO RUN.
>You can’t.
>Eyes and a head now, it’s a pony, like you.
>The rest of the creature takes form just like its head. Each somehow wrong, but right at the same time. It’s alien in nature, somehow natural at the same time.
>The eyes never leave you.
>Whispers join the rising noise, unintelligentable words.
>A single word rises above this sea of chaos. Not a word, but a name.
>Eri.
>Ice fills your veins, your bones, your mind, your soul.
>You can’t move your legs, they won’t let you escape this terror.
>Eri.
>You try to move your head away from the horror, it betrays you as well.
>Eri.
>The pony slowly walks, no that isn’t right, shambles itself to you.
>Each limb attempting to mimic a natural movement, but limbs don’t bend like that.
>Your eyes won’t shut, no tears to block out the visage before you.
>The creature stands in front of you.
>All of its features clear to you, each so horrible.
>It's now you recognize the creature.
>It's you.
>Cold, dead, lifeless eyes.
>Coat is missing large patches of fur.
>Muscle and bone beneath the tears in the flesh.
>Its mouth opens, and a massive writhing mess of insects crawl out.
>Eri.
>You scream.

>Practically flying out of bed, your eyes shoot around the room.
>A cold sweat drenches your body.
>Your hyperventilating.
>A single choked cry escapes your throat.
>Tears cascade down your face.
>Grabbing the pillow, you hug it tightly, rocking gently as you sob uncontrollably.
>The same nightmare, its reoccurring. Not every night, but often enough.
>It plagues you, never once do you adapt to it.
>Slowly, you get your crying under control.
>You feel so pathetic, it’s just a nightmare you freak.
>Turning to look to your clock, you see its 3 am.
>Another three hours of sleep.
“Wonderful.”
>Might as well get up, no point in trying to fall asleep again.
>Releasing your pillow, you crawl out of bed and head to bathroom.
>Looking to the mirror, you catch your reflection.
>Same gray coat, same black mane, same dyed red streak.
>Large bags have formed under your eyes.
>A single word describes you perfectly.
“Disgusting.”
>Turning away, you start a cold bath.
>As the tub slowly fills, you sit down and let your mind wander.
>From the corner of your eyes, a reflection catches your attention.
>On the sink nearby, a single razor sits. A reminder of your habit.
>Staring at the blade, you hear the sweet whisper.
>’Bleed away the sorrow.’
>Your heartbeat starts to rise, and the noise of the tub slowly drowns out.
>You start to reach for the blade, when ice hits your leg.
>Jumping, you turn to the source and see you have overfilled the tub. Again.
>Shaking your head, you turn it off and let it drain a little.
>The cold hurts, but it numbs the hole in your soul.
>No point in trying to bathe, you have no one to impress.
>That’s not true, you have one pony who you could call a friend.
>She isn’t around as often as you like, but she does visit.
>’For how long Eri?’
“Until she is sick of me like the others, and abandons me.”
>Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you snap out of it.
“Not again” You already cried enough this morning.
>You finish up your bath and dry off.
>Heading back to the bedroom, you should try writing.

>Staring at the blank page, your mind drawing a blank.
>The clock ticks slowly nearby, being the only sound in the room.
>A knocking at the front door breaks the silence.
>Fear creeps up on you, though you are certain you know who it is.
>Leaving your room, you head down stairs to the living room.
>Opening the door to a familiar face, a small bit of relief is granted.
>”Good morning Eri, can I come in?”
>Before you is the one you would call a friend. Deep Rest.
“Ye-yeah, sure.” You stand back and let her into the disaster that is your home.
>Making her way to your couch, she sits down for a moment, before looking back at you.
>She has been visiting you for sometime now since your last attempt.
>No doubt to make sure you don’t try again, but you try to ignore that.
>’The attention she gives is more than you deserve’
>Please, not now.
>”Eri? Are you alright?” Rest says with a concerned look on her face.
“What? Uh? Yeah, sure. Just lost in thought.” A lie, but she doesn’t need to know.
>Joining her, you feel a small emotion enter your heart.
>”Did you sleep well last night?”
“Yeah, I did.” Another lie, you’re such a fucking liar.
>Giving you a look of doubt, she seemingly looks into your soul.
>”Please tell me the truth Eri. I can see that you don’t look well.”
>Those words stab you in the heart, and the truth bled out.
“I’m sorry, it’s the same nightmare haunting me again.” You say looking down.
>She reaches out and touches your whither.
>Your breath hitches, It’s not often you feel the touch of another.
>Turning back to her, you can see the look of concern.
>”It’s okay, dreams come and go, especially nightmares. We can get through that.”
>Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you start to break down like the filly you are.
>Rest pulls you close, and slowly rocks you. All the while whispering. “It’s okay, It’s alright.”
>Why does she help you?
>You’re a freak, you’re disgusting, you’re nothing.
>She wants to help you. A part of you knows its the truth, but doubt still plagues you.
>Your cries finally die down, and you pull back.
>Shame hits you as you see the tears and mucus on her coat, so you look away.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it. I ruined your coat.”
>”Hey, it’s okay, I’ll wash it off later.” She smiles “Please look at me Eri.”
>You look back into those red eyes, and feel a small bit of hope.
>While she doesn’t fully understand you, she is the closest out of everypony you ever knew to attempt to. 
>”Do you remember what I said when you were in the hospital?”
>That place was hell, so sterile and lifeless.
>The only light, was Rest.
>You nod slowly, still sniffling.
“That we will get through this together.”
>A smile forms on her face. “That’s right, I promised I would help you no matter what.”
>You still cling to that, it’s your only rock in this storm that you call your life.
>”Although my shift starts soon, I promise I will be back after work. We can talk more then. Can you promise me to be safe?”
>You want to tell her the truth, you really do, but you know better.
>So you lie, like always.
“Ye-yeah, I’ll be safe, I promise.” Such a disgusting lie.
>She somehow accepts it.
>”Alright, now remember, no matter what. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, try to think of me, okay?”
“Yes Rest.” You say with a small smile.
>She nods and as she gets up, but stops for a moment.
>Turning back to you, she gives you another hug.
>You freeze up, but slowly accept it. She smells so nice.
>Letting go, she looks at you again before making her way to the door.
>”Good bye Eri, please stay safe.” Reminding you again.
“Yo-you too.” You stutter out.
>As she leaves you, silence rejoins you.
>A small pang of hunger hits you, normally you would ignore it, but talking to Rest has granted you the strength to eat.

>You make a bowl of oatmeal to eat.
>As you eat, you taste the blandness of your food, but you don’t care.
>Stray thoughts cross your mind.
>Looking down, you absentmindedly rub your hoof over your scars.
>A permanent reminder of your acts.
>Rest’s words fill your mind. “Please stay safe.”
>Knocking draws your attention.
“Is it Rest? Did she not have to work today?” Hope fills you, so you get up.
>Quickly making your way to the door, and open it without a second thought.
“Rest!”
>”Sorry? Who-wait a moment. Eri? Is that really you? It’s been so long.”
>Your mind locks up with a flurry of emotions.
>Before you, nightmare made manifest, is the ghost of your past.
>”Don’t you recognize me? It’s me, Connie Amore. I’m visiting Ponyville this week, and figured I could swing by to catch up.” She says with a smile.
>Feeling stunned, you can’t fathom how to react other than just standing there.
>”Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Do you mind me coming in so we can talk?”
>A single emotion enters your mind above the sea of chaos.
>Rage.
“Why.” You barely whisper.
>”Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” She leans a little closer to hear you.
>Feeling the burning fury within, your breathing and heartbeat rises.
“You can’t be here, no, you don’t deserve to be here.”
>”Excuse me, what do you mean?” She looks at you in worry.
“Get out.”
>”Eri please, its been so long. I want to make things right.”
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!” You scream and slam the door in her face.
>You can hear her rapidly knocking the door and trying to reopen it.
>Barely holding it closed, you managed to lock it.
>”Eri please! Don’t lock me out, I’m your friend! Please try remember.” She seems desperate now.
>You fall to the ground, with your head in your hooves. Rocking in an attempt to calm down.
>A loud bang breaks you out of your attempts and the door shakes violently.
>Did she just try to buck your door down?
>Another bang, so you start to cry.
>”ERI PLEASE!”
“NO! GO AWAY!” Your cries turn to sobs. “Go away, go away, go away…”
>One final bang before silence.
>Crying still and waiting in anticipation for her to try again, you count the seconds.
>Minutes pass and still nothing.
>You must see if the demon is gone. Slowly, you crawl off the ground and peek through the window.
>She is gone, but the damage is done.
>Falling to the ground again, the memories from your past flash freshly in your mind. She was, keyword was, your best friend.
>Then she betrayed and left you alone.
>You sob uncontrollably now.
“Why? Out of all the times, why now?” You cough. “I was starting to feel a little better, and now she comes back to torment me.” Shuddering again. “Wasn’t it enough when I was little?”
>’Bleed away the sorrow Eri.’
“No.”
>’It’s the only way Eri.’
>Hearing the echos of Rest. “If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, think of me.”
>Although you try, the pain remains.
>’You don’t have to cut deep, just a little cut to make the pain go away.’
“Bu-but Rest asked me not to.”
>’She doesn’t have to know, it’s our little secret.’
>You don’t want to, but deep down, you know the thought is right.
>Slowly, you drag yourself up the stairs.

>In the bathroom, on the sink, your salvation awaits.
>Vision has tunneled in on the blade before you.
>Reaching down, you pick it up and tightly grip it with your teeth.
>You set your sets on a old spot you haven’t cut in a while.
>’Time to add another one Eri.’
>As your about to cut, your reflection catches you.
>A broken mare stares back, and the word from before comes back.
“Disgusting.” Saying through clenched teeth.
>In a single breath, you slice into your foreleg.
>Fresh pain fills your senses as you suck in air sharply.
>Crimson oozes through your fur and down your leg.
>’Good filly.’
>It’s not enough, you know that.
“One more to be sure.”
>In your attempt you shudder and cut a little deeper.
“FUCK!” You cry out and drop the blade.
>Slamming back into the wall, you stumble around in pain until your head hits the tub rim.
>Falling face first, the darkness consumes you.

>The sound of thunder and something else slowly draws your from your slumber.
>It’s the sound of your heartbeat and? Sobbing?
>”Please wake up, please wake up!”
>You know that voice anywhere.
“Rest?” Your voice is barely a whisper.
>Vision has returned and the mare is over you with tears streaming down her face.
>”Eri! Thank Celestia, I’m going to try get you to the hospital.”
>Panic hits you as her words fall upon you.
“No!” You attempt to move, but she restrains you.
>”You’re injured and I’ve dressed it to the best of my ability, but you need to get to the hospital now!”
>While you’re certain she is right, you don’t want to go back. Not again.
“I said no! Please Rest, don’t make me go back there! It was all an accident, I swear!” You attempt to plead to her.
>She looks at you with anger.
>”Eri for fucks sake! I know the place is hell, but you can’t just let this go untreated.”
“Please Rest, I’m begging you. If you’re really my friend, then don’t do this!”
>Conflict crosses her face, and then a mixture of emotions you don’t recognize before she stands.
>”For fucks sake Eri! We are friends, but you can’t expect me to ignore my duties as a medical professional for somepony in need!” She shouts at you.
>Flinching back, her face switches to that of remorse.
>”Please Eri. Do it for me.”
>’Don’t listen to her, she’s lying to you. They will lock you away again.’
“Rest I-”
>”I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise you.”
“Okay.” You say in a little voice.
>She smiles before helping you up.
>You lean on her, trying not to move the injured leg. It’s wrapped in a brown towel, though it’s starting to turn red now.
>Slowly, the two of you make it out of your home and into the evening night down the road.