>Day motherfucking cold on Earth
>But hey, at least you've got a place to stay
>Sure would be shitty to be homeless at this time of year
>But you were doing pretty good for yourself, after getting out of the military, you had got a job as a cop in Edmonton
>Your first sergeant had worked up to being a lieutenant on the force there and got you on the ERT within a year of joining
>It was good paying, full benefits, and you got to do what you loved
>You have your vices of course, just like any other man does
>But instead of a hooker or two, or the occasional line of coke, you had ponies
>Yeah, colourful pastel versions of unicorns, pegasi, and normal ponies
>But you weren't one of those autistic faggot 'bronies' that the news was always going on about, calling them pedos or retards and the like
>No, you just got called a faggot when you bring up the idea that human Celestia may look better than normal Celestia
>And to be fair, pony Celestia did have a pretty nice ass
>No matter, her ass wasn't near as delicious as Lyra
>Ooh, that minty little human lover, the things she would do if only you scratched behind her ears with your so unique fingers
>Oh god dammit, now you have a boner
>Oh well, it was half past nine and you didn't work tomorrow anyway
>As you go to open the heavily encrypted, almost illegaly so, file folder of clop, hidden behind a dozen other folders
>And good luck to anyone who tried to track it down over the net, hah! You were behind seven proxies
>But before that, maybe a little 4chan was in order
>The first thread is called "Story Time"
>Hey, writefags can be pretty cool sometimes, so let's check it out
>First though, gotta read the OP and figure out what kinda stories were going on in here
>Hmm, a choice between two options, go to Equestria but no sex, or your favourite pony to Earth and she falls in love with you but she isn't allowed to be seen
>Well, you know you need to make a post on this, not a writing post but definitely an answer to it
>So you open up your suggestive folder, post a picture of Lyra in panties, and make a relatively comedic post
>'Who the fuck would ever want to remain a sexless neckbeard living with ponies? Let's get laid! OPTION 2 IS A GO GO!'
>Snickering to yourself, you hit the 'Submit' button and watch the post appear below a picture of Venelope von Schweetz seeing her first dick and talking about the Nazis
>Fucking weird for a thread about the option to fuck ponies
>Holy shit you even got doubles, Bateman has smiled upon you tonight
>Hell, maybe you'll actually get your wish
>The thought makes you laugh a bit, then your heart dies a little as you realize that will never happen
>No matter, you'd delayed the inevitable long enough
>You go into the clop folder and pull up the first pic
>It had been a while since you'd organized it and, hey look it was that Christmas comic with Derpy delivering the presents way too late
>You start stroking through your jeans, looking at those messed up eyes
>Sure, Derpy was second worst pony, and sure she was basically the embodiment of the ring of Pandara, but the artist did a damn good job making her hot
>And your dick certainly wasn't one to disagree
>You put the pics on 'slideshow' and the rest of the comic slowly rolls on
>And just as you're getting close, a knock came at your door
>God fucking dammit, every time you wanted just a bit of alone time someone wanted to hang out
>You zip up your dick, shout in pain as it catches before fixing yourself
>With a new scar that hopefully no woman would ever notice, you open up the door to either the weirdest or scariest sight you'd ever seen
>A man...a monster in a trench coat, taller than you and possibly three times your width, filled the doorway
"Who the fuck are you supposed to be?"
>The thing just gives you a leering smile, blank spaces in places of some teeth and the few remaining yellow in colour
>The reek of cheetos and halitosis poured over you like a cloud of CS gas
>The...thing punches you in the face and knocks you over
>The monstrous smell and surprisingly violent punch knock you flat on your ass, your nose bleeding
>Then a heavy sackcloth bag lands on your guy and knocks the wind out of you
>Then it speaks in a voice that belongs to someone like Lois Griffin rather than the Creature from the Black Lagoon
>"Enjoy."
>Then is disappears, no thud of displaced air, no flapping of wings or coattails, it was just gone
>You scratch your head, but forget it when you notice the slight, rhythmic movement of breathing disturbing the bag
>Oh shit, there's something in there nigger
>You untie the neck of the sack and pull it aside just a bit
>A blonde tail
>God fucking dammit, whatever it was wasn't Lyra
>Well, Applejack wasn't so bad, best background pony and all that
>Then you pull more of it aside and see something you had hoped to not see
>A grey leg
>And bubbles on the flank
>Fuck
>You got Derpy
--------------------------------------------------
>Damn, AJ wouldn't have been too bad, those thighs after all, just u-unf
>Well, at least Bubble Butt wasn't as bad as Aryan Fashionista
>Or for that matter, Krusty Kunt
>Well, maybe Derpy was just third worst pony
>You take out the knife you always keep on your belt and cut away the rest of the bag, careful to not harm the little pony inside
>Sure she wasn't your favourite, but you wouldn't go out of your way to hurt her
>Or any pony really, unless they did something to hurt Lyra, or the ponies you liked
>Pulling away the remains of the bag, you reveal the body of the little grey pegasus
>She was in pretty bad shape, cuts, scrapes, and bruises covering her torso and legs, with a particularily nasty goose egg on her head
>And...oh God, her wing
>Her left wing was twisted in several different places, obviously broken and quite severely
>There were no protruding bones, but she'd need medical attention
>You couldn't move her anymore, not with the shape she was in
>You run into your bathroom and grab the trauma kit you have there in case of emergencies
>It was far more extensive than most first aid kits and included a stretcher, different kinds of splints, and even a couple morphine stylettes you had nabbed from the TCCC kit you had in the army
>You just reported it as "combat loss" and they never questioned you on it
>The dosage was enough to keep a two-hundred pound man bursting with adrenaline down on his back for a good six hours
>So you only gave her a quarter of the dosage, sticking the needle underneath the wing after wiping the tip down with an alcohol swab
>It would hopefully keep her under while you splinted that nasty looking wing
>First thing first, you stretch the appendage to its max extent, doing the same to the other one to be sure of the correct positions for the bones to be in
>With delicate care, you move the bones about under the skin, always slowly and surely so to not break the skin or make the injury worse
>It took you about thirty minutes, and Derpy hadn't moved once during the treatment
>You use a flexible medical tape to keep the joints together and the bones relatively stright
>Manipulating her other wing, you figure out how the wing folds shut
>With that figured out, it was a simple matter to fold the broken one into her side at a natural position
>You take a long, rolled up bandage from the kit and wrap it about her midsection, trapping her wing in place
>With a couple of pins, you keep the bandage from slipping and give it a firm hold on her wing
>There, now she won't be able to try and fly, only to make it worse
>After that little trial, you clean the rest of her wounds with alcohol swabs and put small adhesive bandages over them
>When you've finally finished the medical work, it's about eleven
>You pick the still sleeping pegasus up and carry her to your bed
>Sure she was just thrown into your home, and she wasn't a person, but she had come in through the front door, technically
>Guests were to be treated better than you would treat yourself, and even your family, so it was the bed for her
>So after tucking her under the covers, and praying that you wouldn't have to wash them too much, you decided it was time for internet
>Sitting down in front of your computer, you notice that the thread had got a few more replies, some praise for some story by some namefag in the thread
>In a reply to the OP, you fish out the angriest reaction image you can find and place it in the picture section with a fairly simple message
>'Fuck you in the dick hole with a banana OP. I didn't get what I wanted you cunt.'
>You submit it and close out the tab with the thread up in it and sit back, feeling satisfied
>Well, no time to relax, you had work to do
>You quickly start up a multi-engine search on caring for ponies
>Obviously there would be quite a bunch of different things, but you figure that some basic stuff could apply
>So no meat, brushing of their coat at least twice a week, and monthly washing them down
>Seemed too easy to be true
>Then it hit you
>Oh shit, you would have to buy more vegetables, and couldn't eat meat without it being disguised
>You didn't want to be rude, after all
>You hear a moan coming from the bedroom
>Well, it was time to go and greet your guest
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Turns out the grey pegasus was just having a nightmare
>Must have been a pretty bad one too, the poor pony was tossing and turning, rolling right over her broken wing
>You immediately grabbed and held the pegasus in your arms, praying that her wing wasn't worse off than before
>You stroke her mane and gently whisper in her ear
>It seems to calm her down, and she goes back to a fitful sleep
>You don't want her to start rolling again, so you decide that it's okay to stay with her, only to keep her safe of course
>Honestly, you couldn't think of ever really doing anything with Derpy, sure she wasn't a huge cunt but her only appearence made her out like a total retard that wrecked shit all day long
>Sorry Derpy, that's not the fetish of this fellow
>Although...
>Asleep like this, streched out across your lap and nuzzling into the hand that you rested behind her ear, was giving you a fairly insecure erection
>You shift so that, if she wakes up and you're still hard, it will just feel like a little bump in your body
>Slowly, gently, you move back so that you're leaning against the backboard and don't have to devote so much energy to staying upright
>You lift her up a bit so she's resting on your chest, remembering somewhere about baby animals being calmed by a beating heart or something
>You figure that the steadiness of it will be calming at least
>She nuzzles your chest, still asleep, exposing her neck
>You gently scratch at the exposed, sensitive area and the pony immediately responds in an odd way
>She curls up a bit more, and starts sucking on your forefinger
>Huh...nursing instincts maybe? But a weird stimuli to trigger them anyway
>You're getting drowsy yourself anyway and lean your head against the backboard
>Closing your eyes for a few minutes won't be a problem
>Yeah, just a few minutes, then you can get up and take care of everything else
>Your eyelids finally become too much of an effort to keep open, and you slowly drift off to gentle dreams
>A tickle in your nose makes you wake up
>The tickle gets worse, and you sneeze suddenly
>Right onto Derpy who's nuzzling against your neck
>The poor pegasus jumped into the air, or at least tried to
>Your positioning drove her straight into your nose, not breaking it but hitting it hard enough to make it bleed
>You clamp your hands over it immediately and run off to your bathroom
>You hear her call in from the room
>"Are you okay?"
>Stuffing some tissue up your nostrils to stop the bleeding, you walk outside the bathroom to find a concerned looking pegasus sitting on your bed, tears brimming in her eyes
>Ah shit, there's no way you can be mad at that
"I'm fine, don't worry about it."
>She shuffles her hooves, messing up the already messy bedsheets
>"Uh..mister, can I ask you a question?"
>You walk over to her without any sort of concern and sit on the bed next to her
"Well, that was one. But go ahead."
>The joke makes a slight whistle as it flies over her head
>"Well, it's just...where am I? What's going on? Who are you? How did I get here?"
>With each question she asks, her voice cracks a bit more and the tears in her eyes become more substantial
>You go to put a hand behind her ears and scratch, but she shies away from it
>She's much more timid than she was when she was sleeping, though it's probably because she actually knows something is wrong now
>You sigh and pull your hand back, but keep it near her hoof
"Honestly? I can't answer all those questions because I don't know a lot of what you want to. As for the information I can give you, I am Anonymous, you are on Earth, I guess a different dimension than Equestria...And as for how you got here..."
>You pause and run a hand through your messy hair
"Last night, some guy came to my door with a burlap sack that you were in. Your wing was broken and you had lots of cuts and bruises. I fixed you up as best I could, as you can see by the work on the wing, and then let you sleep in my bed."
>This next part was going to be harder to justify
"You were crying out when you were sleeping, and rolling about. I was scared you might break that wing even more, so I picked you up to stop you from moving. You just kinda...relaxed when I did, so I just let you sleep there. I must have fallen asleep a while after that."
>You realize that she's started sniffling and has laid her head down on the bed
>Dammit, it was too much too fast
>She doesn't resist this time when you start scratching behind her ears
>"I wanna go home..."
>Shit
>Cuteness and childlike naiivite, your one weakness
>Well besides sex, but that clearly wasn't something that was appropriate or desired right now
>You sigh heavily and scratch at your eyes
"You know what, I'll help you get back home okay?"
>She looks up at you, tears clearing from her eyes
>"Y-you will?"
>You smile in a way that you hope is endearing and trustworthy
"Sure. I just need you to trust me okay? What's your name?"
>She sits up, a sight happier at the offering of help
>"I'm Ditzy, but everyone calls me Derpy. You can too if you want!"
>The little white lies to keep her from being scared of the fact that, in this world, she wasn't real were entirely acceptable to you
"So uh, Derpy, what do you like to do for fun?"
>She scratches her chin with a hoof, thoughtful
>The strabismus made the gesture heart-meltingly adorable
>You can feel the spaghetti build to critical levels, so you decide to quickly change the subject to avoid an apocalypse of pastafarian levels
"Hey uh, you must be hungry eh? Do you want me to get you anything?"
>This one she answers almost right away, perking up and looking right at your with her adorable, golden eyes
>"Muffins!"
>Hey, that's right, she likes muffins a lot
"Well follow me, do you want them warmed up?"
>She answers as she gets up with you and follows in your footsteps into the kitchen
>"Yes please! Warm is always the best!"
>You can't disagree with that one
>Popping open a plastic container that was sitting on the counter, you take out two lemon poppyseed muffins that you had been saving
>You had no idea what for, maybe a snack or something?
>No matter, this counted as a special occasion
>You popped the muffins onto a plate and into the microwave
>You glance at the clock and realize it's a good thing that it's your day off
>Half-past noon, you had slept for a long damn time
>But it was good as well, because it meant that you had got to actually talk with Derpy and figure some stuff out, even if it was very little
>The microwave beeps, signing an end to the heating of the muffins
>Jesus, your thoughts sometimes made things out to be so much more dramatic than they were
>You take out the now steaming muffins to Derpy's delight
>"Yay! Muffins!"
>You pass her one of them, which she takes in her mouth eagerly
>She lays in the middle of the floor, munching the pastry with single minded intent
>Meanwhile, you walk over to the computer and switch it on
>You had a few questions for 4chan...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>'Hey faggots, how would you take care of a pony IRL? Like, what would you be feeding her, how often would you brush her, or how would you break the news of people wanting to cum inside her?'
>You kept the thread on auto-refresh and open up the main page in a new one
>Hey, look what was on the top of the first page again
>That same storytime thread you saw last night
>...Just before Derpy showed up
>You stary cruising the thread, reading the stories people had about their own experiences with these ponies
>And there was one trend that always popped up
>That guy in the trench coat delivering unconscious ponies via the Burlap Express
>Hm, interesting enough
>You set the page to auto-refresh and take a look at your thread, which has got a few replies of its own
>There's of course the obligatory rape posts that have to be done, but then there's some actual discussion of pony care
>Most people agree on flowers being treats to them, and normal greens are their main courses
>A few people settle around the idea that they could eat seeds as well, but that seemed a bit iffy
>Actual horse owners told you pretty much what you could find on the web, brush them often, bathe once in a while
>Only one post was specifically devoted to pegasi
>It said that they should get regular exercise, being the way they were, and that they had an extra bit of care no other ponies had
>Their wings
>The wings needed regular preening to remove dead or broken feathers, as well as to clean them for parasites
>In fact, their wings were apparently very similar to those of birds, including the need for oiling, another reason for preening
>You knew that, for a while at least, you'd be preening one of Derpy's wings
>You knew that taking care of this pony would be different from so many others
>She was more childish, more naiive than most others so she would need to be cared for differently, at least psychologically
>There would always be a barrier between you two, because you had thought of her as an example of Hasbro's pandering forever
>But every minute you spent in her company was changing your opinion of her
>Hell, you were actually starting to LIKE her
>You'd never tell her of course, you had a role to fulfil as host, not one part of which included macking on your guest
>You switch back to the "Story Time" post and scroll up to the OP
>'Option 2...'
>Well, Derpy wasn't your favourite pony but...
>Oh shit, you had been jerking it to a picture of her when she'd shown up
>God dammit dick, you've made so much trouble in the past, why now?
>That kindly old gentleman gives no response of course, leaving you annoyed about the prospect of being cheated out of some minty ass
>So deep in your stewing you are that you don't notice Derpy coming up on you
>She jumps on your shoulders, with dexterity that she had never displayed in the show
>Granted though, she was looping her legs through your armpits to stay onboard
>Ater the momentary shock, you find your voice
"Yes, Derpy. What can I do for you?"
>She looks up at the glowing computer screen
>"What's that?"
>Looking over, you realize 4chan is still up
>You quickly alt-tab to the contant porn search you have prepared for just such an occasion
"It's a computer. We humans use them to chat and share pictures of each other and stuff. Like electric mail."
>Her mouth forms an 'O', but then she frowns
>"Do you mean you don't have mailponies anymore?"
>You grimace
"Well, technically, we never had mail ponies, but we do have mail men and women. And while they're declining in number, I don't think they'll be gone for good
>She nuzzles your cheek, seemingly more playful than suggestive
>"That's good.
>You shrug at the statement
>For all the times Canada Post had screwed you over...
>No matter
>You smile at the cross-eyes pony hanging off your back
"So, Derpy, what do you want to do today?
---------------------------------------------
>Her eyes uncross momentarily as she looks up at you with glee on her face
>The glee quickly turns to confusion and she cocks her head to the side
>God damn that was cute
>"Uh...wait, Carrot Top said I shouldn't be with strangers when I'm alone..."
>You sigh, but decide to be a smartass in hopes of elliciting a giggle
"But you already know me, I'm Anonymous. And you're Derpy. See, we know each other!"
>You get that giggle you were looking for, along with a grin that outlasted it
>"Okay, Anonymous! What is there to do around here?"
>Oh...
>Well shit, she wasn't allowed to be seen by anyone, lest she be disappeared back to...wait it never specified Equestria
>It was distinctly possible that she would just be killed or something
>You've got to find a way to sidestep that little fact, but how...
>You snap your fingers
>Derpy looks up with excitement on her face
>"Didya think of something Anon?"
>Hell yeah you had
"Hell yeah I did! Come on, let's go play some video games."
>Her looks turns back to one of confusion
>"Anon...what's a video game?"
>You grin at her, this is going to be fun
"Come on and I'll show you."
>She follows you into the bedroom, bouncing along on your heels
>You gesture to the foot of your bed and she hops up on it
>You've got a pretty sweet battle station set up
>30" flatscreen, a PS3 you'd got for a present and a 360 you'd stolen from a guy you had been helping move
>Custom built (read: shittily wired) surround sound system with five speakers
>Your plebian console needs were satisfied here, while the beast of a PC beside your bed took care of your more elitist requirements
>But in this case, you know that the console is what you'll be needing
>Multiple players and all that
>You pluck through your horrifically disorganized library of titles, looking for something not overly violent
>Hmmm, Soul Calibre IV, The Force Unleashed, Halo 2, Gears of War
>God damn, why were you such a shooter fan?
>Wait, what's this one?
>You take out the case and read the title
"PERFECT!"
>Derpy jumps three feet in the air and lands on her face, on the matress at least
>You ignore her for now and pop the disc into the 360
>A familiar song starts playing, and the logo that defined a great deal of your opinion of indie games popped up
>'Pop Cap'
>The start screen loads, and a familiar blue-grey unicorn greets you with the options for a new game
>Oh fuck yeah, it's Peggle time
>Derpy perks up at the music and bright colours diplayed on the screen
>"What's that, Anon?"
>You chuckle as the demo starts playing, turning to the little pony eagerly looking at the screen, the splashes of light reflecting in her crossed eyes
>You feel a stirring in your heart
>Attraction, you were gravitating towards her
>No, dammit! I must stay strong for muh waifu!
"It's Peggle, Derpy. You see, you make the thing there shoot out the ball and angle it so it hits all the pegs. Get rid of all the pegs and you beat the level. It's about luck just as much as skill."
>You start up a new game on adventure mode and make an example of the first level
"See how it didn't go in there? That's okay, you have extras, but if you don't beat the level by the time you run out, you lose. Pretty simple eh?"
>She nods, clearly hypnotized by the game
>"C-can I try, Anon?"
>You scratch your short beard, kept neatly trimmed always
"Uh, sure. But I don't know how you'll work the buttons and stuff."
>She unfurls her good wing and, somehow, manipulates the individual feathers on it
>That's pretty badass
>You set the controller in front of the curious pegasus and watch how she'll do this
>Interesting, she uses the tip of her hoof to press the launch button, and the feathers to carefully position the launcher
>You notice that, as she lines up, she closes one eye to make sure
>And damn is she concentrated
>'pop'
>There goes the first shot
>It bounces around, hitting maybe 2/3 of the pins before dropping neatly into the catcher at the bottom
>Your jaw drops, that was shit you'd only seen in videos
>But the little grey pagasus frowns
"Derpy? What's wrong, that was amazing!"
>She looks down at the controller
>"But I didn't hit them all."
>Wait, what?
>You could hardly believe it, Derpy was a perfectionist
>Well, it kinda makes sense
>People would have mocked her for years about her strambismus, so she felt the need to do everything perfect
>Well, that's what it would be for a human anyway
"Derpy, look. You still have five chances to get rid of the rest, don't worry about it."
>Almost unconsciously, your arm has found its way around her lower back
>She looks at you, her eyes straightening for a second before going back to their natural state
>And she smiles
>"Thanks Anon."
>Then she hugs you
>Wait, what?
"Uh, Derpy. Why are you hugging me?"
>She nuzzles at your neck before answering, but you can feel her face heat up from embaressment, or perhaps something else
>"'Cause you treat me really nice, and you tell me I'm doing good, even if I'm not. And I...well, I kinda like you."
>Oh shit, the Panda Ring wanted your dick
>Your brain goes into happening overdrive before finally thinking straight for a few seconds
>She only said she liked you, Anon. She didn't try to put your dick in and around her mouth, hell she didn't even try and kiss you. You're fine
>You take a deep breath, then return the hug
>Derpy coos happily at the attention, and you find yourself stroking her mane before you can tell your hands no
>You feel a number of knots in it, however, and think back to the 'How do I care for pony' thread
"Derpy, I'm going to draw a bath, okay?"
>Clearly she hasn't understood the implication yet
>"'Kay Anon!"
>You tweak her ear to get her attention away from the game for a second
"It's a bath for you, Derpy."
>The game pauses, she puts down the controller and looks up at you
>"But I don't need one, I'm fine!"
>You pet her behind her ears and crouch to her level
"You've got mats and knots in your mane. I just want to get them out so you look more pretty, okay?"
>She blushes, the crimson showing even through her thick, grey coat
>"O-oh, that sounds okay Anon. I'll take that bath.."
>You smile and walk back to the bathroom, with the bather in tow
"I knew you'd agree with me Derpy. It's for the best anyway."
>She nods, looking sullenly at the floor
>Huh, maybe she wasn't stupid like 4chan said
>She seemed more...childish, like she hadn't matured when all the other fillies had
>She wasn't retarded, just underdeveloped
>And that triggered something in you, a protective, paternal instinct for sure but for some reason it got you hard as well
>You couldn't understand the power and desire of the dick, for the dick worked in mysterious ways
>But you weren't going to take advantage of her
>Though, if the thread was right, you wouldn't have to
>But there was no matter for that now
>You turned off the taps that were running the hot water to the bath and gesture for her to get in
>She places her hooves on the rim of the tub and looks up at you, pleadingly
>"Do I have to?"
>You chuckle and grab her haunches with a careful grip, gently lifting her into the warm water
>When she's finally in, she starts swimming about as best she can in the small pool
>You notice that she starts preening her left wing, the unbroken one
>It's a very meticulous and careful process, unlike what you had seen birds doing
>Must have been something involving how birds move with all that darting about
>She stops and stares at you
>"Anon..."
>It snaps you out of the little trance you had been in
"Huh, what's up, Derpy?"
>She blushes a deep crimson
>"Can...can you get my back with the soap? I don't have the reach, and my wing..."
>You scratch behind her ears and smile, after rolling up your sleeves
"Say no more. I gotcha."
>She smiles and goes back to preening
>You squirt a bit of shampoo onto your hands and massage it into her back, from the base of her neck to the dock of her tail
>She coos, clearly enjoying the gentle massage you were giving her
>Then your fingertips brush the point where her wings meet her body
>She gasps and moans, making you pull away out of shock
>So...the wings were erotic, good to know
>She looks over her shoulder at you, her wing half covering her face
>"Oh, Anon...I didn't know you uh..."
>More of her face disappears behind the extended wing, but you reach past it and carress her cheek, not romantically but parentally
"I'm sorry, Derpy. I didn't know wings were like that. I'll try not to touch you there anymore, okay?"
>She looks shocked at your explaination, but then nods though with a sad undertone
>"Oh, uh yeah. Thanks...Anon."
>She ducks under the water and quickly washes the soap from her body
>The quick dive, however, soaks your shirt with the splash and makes you sputter from the soapy water geting into your mouth
>She surfaces and once more wears a grin on her face
>"All done!"
>She slips trying to get out of the tub, so you take her under her armpits and lift her out
>You take a towel and rub her down, careful to avoid the errogenous zones on her wings, drying her off thoroughly
>You look at the smiling pegasus when you're crouched down after drying her mane
"Bedtime?"
>She nods and yawns
>You pick her up in your arms and carry her into the bedroom
>Sure, it was just through the closet, but you liked carrying her like she was your own kid, and she clearly liked being coddled
>So you pull back the covers on your bed and lay her down, tucking her in tightly
>"A-Anon?"
>You turn back from walking out of the room
"What is it, Derpy?"
>You can see she's blushing again
>"Would you...kiss me goodnight?"
>You hesitate for a moment, and she clearly notices because she looks away from you
>But you walk over to her and kiss her forehead, rubbing her behind the ears and smiling
"Good night, Derpy. Have a good sleep, okay?"
>She smiles up at you
>"I will, Anon. Goodnight!"
>You leave the room with a smile on your face and a growing warmth in your heart
>You won't be sleeping with her, or even in a bed, tonight but you certainly wouldn't be cold
--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The morning comes around and you wake up with the sun shining into your eyes
>It's not the most pleasent wake up, but you slept well so it was fine
>Sunday...420 praise it niggers
>A slight vibration draws your attention to the face that something is weighing on your chest, a warm mass a little bit shorter than your torso
>And there's a familiar tickling on your chin
>Looking down you find Derpy, your little houseguest, curled up on your chest
>She must have come from the bedroom sometime during the night
>Probably had a nightmare again, the poor lass
>You start stroking her mane gently, careful to not wake the sleeping pony up
>Looking down at the blonde maned pegasus, you start thinking to yourself about what she had been doing when she was ripped away from her world
>Was she delivering a package to the Cakes? Helping a family move their stuff to a new house?
>And yet, when she woke up, she had taken in the new surroundings so well
>Even you, a species that she had no idea what you were and that could have been the one to kidnap her, she had immediately trusted, or appeared to at least
>Was that a show of how powerful that echantement, that would make her love you, was?
>If so, you certainly didn't need any convincing
>Twisting a mind that badly generally required severe trauma, like Stockholm Syndrome and such things as that
>But Derpy seemed perfectly healthy
>You think about your actions towards her over the past few days
>You had trusted her right away too, now that you think about it
>Unsurprising, given that you did watch the show before and already knew about Derpy and her clumsiness
>But you weren't one to trust anything immediately, much less start caring for them as though they're your kin
>Was that echantement a double whammy? Who could say, most schools of magic on earth are phony and the rest are misguided, so you wouldn't get any help from them
>It scared you to think that there could be something affecting your brain, and you were powerless to stop it, or even know what it was
>The pony resting on your chest stirs a bit and brings you back to the present
>She rolls onto her side, hugging the arm that had been petting her and exposing her broken wing
>Your stomach drops at the sight of the splint and bandages
>~You know, you're the one that did this~
>The thoughts come to you without want for your feelings
>~She was already crooked, now she's crippled. She'll never fly again, thanks to you.~
>You didn't know; it was just another thread on /mlp/ like a dozen others before it
>Oh god, you're so sorry
>You begin chanting an apology, almost like a mantra, under your breath
"I'm so sorry, Derpy. I'm so sorry."
>You repeat it, quite literally, ad nauseum
>That's when you stop, when the room starts spinning in time with your stomach
>And at that moment, with perfect timing, the golden-eyed pegasus opens her tired, glistening eyes and looks right up at you
>She has the most adorable smile on her face, just making her that much prettier
>"Good morning, Anon. Why'd you stop singing?"
>Singing? You hadn't been singing, it was just a ch--
>Right, singning
"My throat was getting sore, that's all."
>You clear it to make the point a little clearer
>She hugs you and nuzzles your chest, and you can't help but hug back
>The she says something that surprises you
>"I forgive you, Anonymous."
>The dam bursts on your guilt and self-pity, flooding the room with pain, tears, and spaghetti
>And Derpy, that beautiful, naiive mare holds you in a comforting embrace the entire time
>You blubber out everything, about how she got here, about why she had come instead of Lyra, even about her being from a childrens show
>She doesn't react, not visibly anyway, until well after you've stopped though
>And even then, she contains herself well
>"S-so, I'm just a fake pony that someone made up?"
>You see the tears about to come forth and hurridly compose yourself, and an explaination
"No, Derpy, YOU are not a fake, and no one made you up. It's just the same as if someone made a play about you, it's not the real you on stage, and the playwright didn't make you. Do you understand?"
>She nods, but you can't tell whether she's telling the truth or lying for your sake
"And you know what, Derpy? Even if you were fake, I'd still treat you like the queen you deserve to be repected and served as, okay?"
>She smiles up at you, not a sad smile like before but a true expression of hapiness
>"But I'm not a queen, Anon! That's just silly!"
>You arch a brow at her and, after putting her down on the floor, get up and go to your walk in closet
>Now where was that piece from that Halloween costime from years ago?
>Ah, here we are
>You turn to see Derpy staring at you like you're insane
>But you just place the plastic crown on her head and kneel before her
"What is your first commandment, my queen?"
>Her face reddens, and she giggle at your supreme silliness
>"Rise my subject. My first and only commandement is that there be muffins at every meal, for every day!"
>God dammit, that was adorable
>You make a silly bow, to her and she struts off to the kitchen in an exagerated form of what she clearly thought was a dignified, regal walk
>It looked a bit like smoother goose stepping to you
>You hear a roar from below you and realize that her destination was probably a good decision
>What to make now for dinner...
------------------------------------------------------------------
>You know what, who could go wrong with everyones favourite pasta
>Macaroni and cheese!
>You take out everything you need from the cupboards, a pot, macaroni noodles, and some salt
>You fill the pot with water and set it to boil on the stove
>While it's boiling, you turn to the still royally prancing Derpy
"Your majesty, have you ever tried the exotic dish, 'Macaroni Noodles with Cheese sauce'?"
>She stops and looks at you, her nose scrunching up in confusion
>Well if that didn't just give you a spot of angina...
>"I don't believe I have, subject. Make it for us immediately!"
>Holy shit, an over the top royal voice
>It's just too much for you
>That, or it was the four or more energy drinks a day and shitty diet
>Either way, you collapse to the floor, writhing in agony as a sharp pain assaults your heart
>God dammit, where were those nitro pills the doctor had for you?
>In the medicine cabinet, of course
>You finally become aware of Derpy standing over you, tearfully screaming at you to wake up
"D-Derpy, I need you t-too get some pills from the bathroom. It's a little orange bottle..."
>You trail off, in too much pain to think straight
>She takes off galloping with those meager instructions
>Who would take care of her if you died here?
>No, that wouldn't happen
>In a minute, you'd have your pills, and everything would be better
>You don't last that minute though
>A darkness swallows you, and you drift in an empty ocean
>You feel more than see a being swim around you in the void, like a shark around prey
>"So, you're one of those human things that have been taking ponies across the multiverse, far away from their home in the lands of Equestria are you?"
>John deLancie? What was he doing here
>But the disembodied voice continued to circle around you and speak
>"So rude of you to take them away from their homes, don't you think? And for what, some entertainment? Even I don't treat ponies that badly
>A cold chuckle makes your non-existent skin shiver
>"Well, not anymore at least. However, you seem to be treating little Derpy well enough, and she seems quite happy to stay. So I won't take her back, and I'll even return you to your little life. But if you mess this up...well, I'm the god of Chaos, I can think of some abstract punishment."
>A snap tears through the darkness and you feel yourself stretching out
>It hurts, as though every molecule of your being is pulling away from each other
>And suddenly, there's a mare crying on your chest, a broken and spilled bottle of pills sitting next to her
>When you speak, your voice is hoarse
"Hey, Derpy? Could you get off my chest? It's kinda hard to breathe."
>She jumps straight up in the air and, as soon as she lands and recovers, wraps her hooves around your shoulder
>"Anon! I was so scared, you weren't breathing and you wouldn't swallow the pill. I thought I had done something wrong and that you were dead. I'm sorry I was so slow, I'm sorry!"
>You hug her back, petting her mane with a care that you had never shown to anyone, or anything, else
"Derpy, it's okay. You got my pills and brought them back as fast as you could. I'm going to be fine, so don't worry, okay?"
>She sniffles and keeps her face buried in your chest
>Clearly she just needed to be close to you right now
>That's no problem for you
>Then you smell the pot of water and noodles you had put on before you passed out
"Derpy, hang on."
>She tightens her grip, and you bring yourself to a sitting position
>You wait for the spinning in your head to dissipate before standing, holding Derpy up in one arm
>With the other, you stir the pot
>Good, the water was boiling and the noodles had softened, time to start adding ingredients
>You take proccessed cheese slices and homogenized milk from your fridge
>You unwrap the cheese and throw it in, in chunks and then you add perhaps a cup of milk to the mix
>Finally, you add a gratuitous amount of salt, for flavour
>Then you go back to steadily stirring it, after putting the ingredients away of course
>Then entire time, Derpy clings to you with her face firmly planted in your chest
>But it didn't bother you, if anything you kinda liked the attention
>Finally, it is finished
>Father into your hands, I commit my pasta
>You pry Derpy away from your body and set her down on the floor beside you
>She looks up at you, off-set eyes begging to know what she did wrong
"I've got to drain the noodles, okay? I need two hands so I don't hurt myself."
>She nods in understanding, settling for nuzzling against your leg
>With the macaroni thus prepared, you dish out two portions on the plates that were already set out for that purpose
>A bigger bit for you, of course
>You had to work in the morning, after all
"Come on Derpy, let's get to the table."
>Out of pure habit, it was set for two
>Of course, you had no idea why you would place out cutlery for Derpy, but there it was
>You sit beside her at the small table and take the first bite of your food
>Mmmm, cheesy and salty noodles
>After a tenative lick, Derpy digs right into the stuff
>Oh right, salt was like alcohol to ponies
>You continue eating your plate, but Derpy has already finished hers and was licking up the last of the cheese sauce
>She looks at you, eyes wide and pupils dilated
>God dammit
>You roll your eyes and give her half the remaining food on your plate
>She squees and devours it faster than you can have two bites
>Before she can beg for more, you finish off your own food
>"That was great, Anon! But why'd you put so much salt in it?"
>You notice she's slurring a bit, and stumbling over her words
>Ah right, the alcoholic effect
"Because salt makes everything better."
>She gives you what you could only think of as an attempt at a seductive smile
>"You know what else makes things better, Anon?"
>Shit, you weren't near drunk enough for this
"Derpy, I hope you're not going where I think you are..."
>She slides off her chair and puts her head in your lap, pouting up at you with her crossed eyes wide
>Oh god dammit
>You get off your chair and speed walk over to the liquor cabinet
>This would be a fun one to explain to 4chan, let alone the parents
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Prying open the door to the liquor cupboard and start taking out bottles
>Jack Daniel's, no...Smirnoff, no too shitty, Ah there it was, the Stolichnaya, the true vodka of the People
>You open the bottle and take a tumbler from the shelf
>Placing the glass on the counter, you look into the bottle, then down at Derpy
>You look at her face, flushed with arousal and salt intoxication
>Those hypertropic eyes, one locked on yours and the other on the ceiling
>You couldn't do it
>You replace the cap on the bottle and put it back in the cabinet
>With that, you crouch down and pick up the drunken little pony
>She clumsily kisses your cheek, bumping her forehead against your nose as she does so
>"What're you gonna do to me, Anon?"
>You sigh and walk towards the bedroom
>The shit you had to put up with, and from a pony no less
"I'm going to make sure you don't puke all over my stuff and that you get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be kinda shitty, if salt gives you hangovers."
>She gripes and complains about it all the way to the bed
>"It's not my bed time though! I'm not tired yet, Anon! Anon, could you tire me out first?"
>The last one was said with a wink, and at the foot of the bed
>You almost dropped her then and there, but you refrained from doing so, and instead put her under the covers and tucked her in
>"Anon, could I get a good night hug?"
>Well, that seemed reasonable enough
>You lean down into the waiting forelegs of the drunk pony and hug her
>With a sudden flap of her good wing, she pulls you off balance and you fall on top of her
>Somehow, she'd managed to get the angle just perfect, and you end up kissing her
>You know, besides her drunken clumsiness, it's not too bad a kiss
>You pull away and shake the though from your head
>No god dammit, you must stay strong, for the greater waifu!
>She looks up at you with fully flushed cheeks
>"You're a great kisser Anon."
>You sigh and scratch behind her ears
>She's is very drunk, so you forgive her inept actions
"Thank you, Derpy. Now will you go to sleep?"
>She just smiles at you and rolls over, closing her eyes
>"G'night, Anon."
>That childlike voice, the little slur on her words, the little yawn punctuating her sentence
>Oh god dammit
>You lean down and kiss behind her ear, an action that makes the little thing twitch
>And Derpy's smile grows just a bit wider as you whisper back to her
"Good night, Derpy. Sweet dreams."
>With that, you walk out of the room and turn on your computer
>You still had some paperwork due tomorrow, so you had best get on it
>But something nags at you
>Some unknown feeling, a sinking sensation in your gut that pulls at your attention
>You'd have to leave her alone tomorrow
>Well then, you suppose you'll have to write a note for her
>'Dear Derpy, I've gone to work. I'll be back around half-past 4. Muffins are on the counter, help yourself. If you need to get in touch with me, I'll have the computer set up so you can just make one click to call me.'
>Wait, did she know how to click?
>Shit, better make an instruction for that too
>You tear off a small piece of paper and colour in a red dot on it
>You tape it on the left click button on the touchpad, and below that, you tape another note
>'This is the button you push to call me, okay?'
>You go back to the main note, with the sub-note taken care off
>'Call me if you need anything. Love, Anonymous'
>Hm, the 'love' part may bring some not so welcome consequences when you get home, but hopefully it would tide her over until you got back
>With that settled, you head back to doing your paperwork
>Two hours later, it's half-past nine and your eyes are burning from being in front of the computer, six inches away from the screen
>You'd broken your reading glasses a while back and hadn't replaced them yet
>Rubbing the spots from your eyes, you set the alarm on your phone for 6 and close your laptop
>You go into the little kitchen and pour a glass of water for yourself
>As you drink it, you think about Derpy
>Why did she seem so infatuated with you?
>Sure, you took care of her, gave her food and stuff, but it just didn't make sense why she had attatched herself to you so quickly
>It was thought that she had a lover and a child, so she had companions and family
>Maybe it was just her child-like nature, to attatch to whoever took care of her
>No matter, she was here to stay
>And you brought her here, so it was your responsibility to take care of her
>You finish off the water and put the cup into the sink
>You could worry about that stuff tomorrow, after work
>You walk into the darkened bedroom and are greeted by the soft snores of your little house guest
>That puts a smile on your dour expression
>You strip down to your pants and take a pillow from your bed
>You lay it on the ground and take you Ranger blanket from your closet
>She was your guest, not a stuffed animal to be cuddled with
>You place your alarm beside your pillow and lay down
>The long day, combined with the rhythmic, gentle snores of Derpy, lull you to sleep quickly
>At least your dreams are warm
-------------------------------------------------------
>The wonderful sounds of Insomnium pull you from the gentle drift of sleep
>You waken further as the song progresses, finally coming to full awareness as the first main riff blasts through the speaker
>And in your wakened state you realize that your left arm is trapped
>And there's a warm lump putting pressure against your stomach and morning wood
>You look down and realize that Derpy, at some point during the night, had crawled into your makeshift bed that night
>You gently extricate yourself from her, ensuring that the little pony doesn't awaken
>Time for breakfast
>You make your way to the kitchen, after dressing in your work uniform, and pop down some bread into the toaster
>While you wait for that to cook, you make yourself some coffee with Bailey's
>Sure it was alcohol before work, but everyone needed a bit of a pick me up before a boring day at work
>Well, it would be boring unless something bad were to happen
>You consider the wisdom of thinking such things, especially since your life has somehow been turned into what was dangerously close to a cliched, 6/10 fanfic
>But then, after another couple sips from your coffee, it occurs to you why your life was indeed YOUR life
>You hadn't fucked the pony
>The toast popping from the toaster interupts your musing
>You take out the nutella and a plate and start spreading the nectar of Christ all over your breakfast
>You hear the squeak of your bedroom door opening and the gentle clopping of against the linoleum
>"'Nonymous...what're you doin' up?"
>Well, you had hoped the note could do the hard job for you, but clearly this was something that you needed to do
>You take a bite of your God's-Own-Semen toast and kneel down to her level
>She looks onto your eyes as best she can, and it seems she's really trying
>But then a yawn splits her muzzle and she closes her eyes
>You feel your heart skip a beat as the most adorable expression of drowsiness that has ever been appears before your eyes
>When they're open again, she looks noticeably more attentive, though her hypertropia has gone back to its normal, severe state
"Well, Derpy, I need to go to work today. I didn't want to wake you up so I left a note for you. But since you're up, would you like some breakfast?"
>She shakes her head and yawns again
>"No thanks, Anon. I just wanna go back to sleep."
>You smile, at least she's honest
"Okay, Derpy. I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in, okay?"
>She gives you a tired grin and slowly walks back to the bedroom
>Taking another bite of the sandwich, you clean up what little mess you made with the simple breakfast
>Oh shoot, you've still got to set up the computer
>Consuming the rest of the nutella and toast, you walk over to your laptop and open it up
>Skype is still open and ready to call your cell phone, the red dot is on the left click button, and its accompanying note is still there
>Perfect, you set up the cursor over the "call" button and make sure that it won't go to sleep, so long as it's plugged in
>Thinking of that, you make sure that it is indeed plugged in
>It is and the UPS is working properly
>Loading up a small, metal flask with vodka and slipping it into your pocket, you get your boots on and prepare to go to work
>Oh shit, you forgot about Derpy
>You clomp over to your bedroom and see her laying on her side, breathing steadily
>You walk over and kiss her on the cheek
>You get to enjoy her shuffle and mumble something incomprehensible in her sleep
>With that taken care of, you walk out your door and close and lock it behind you
>Well, time for a boring day at work
>But hey, maybe Derpy would call you
--------------------------------------------------
>Oh god, your job is shitty
>You'd signed onto the ERT a year ago, expecting gunslinging, door kicking action but only got a desk job where you had the chance to be called up sometimes
>In your time on the force, you'd done two raids on drug dens, neither of which allowed you to fire your weapon
>It was just...tedious
>You reject another request, for another course that the requester wasn't qualified for
>And for the hundredth time in an hour, you wonder what Derpy's up to
>You weren't worried about her safety, more about what she'd be doing to entertain herself
>Potential property damage aside, you didn't want her going through your personal shit
>Suddenly, the phone on your hip vibrates
>A call? Fuck yeah
>Please be work, please be work, pleasebework!
>'The Fortress of Solitude'
>God dammit, it was Derpy calling from home
>You hold the phone up to your ear and hit the talk key
"This is Corporal Anonymous, how can I help you, sir or ma'am?"
>Standard greeting proceedure, no one could know you're taking a personal call
>"Hey Anon, it's me! I just wanted to talk to you 'cause I'm bored and there's nothing to do."
>What? there was plenty to do
>She could read a book...no the hooves and strabismus would make that hard
>What about TV? No, the same problems would arise with the remote
>Hold on, your fancy smart phone could activate the TV from here
>Perfect!
"Hey, I'm going to hang up now. But in a minute, the TV will turn on. Just watch it, and I'll be home in a few hours, okay?"
>The voice over the phone perks up noticeably
>"Okay Anon! Thanks! I love you, bye!"
>You smile at her eagerness
"See you when I get home, bye."
>You turn it off and click on the little app that used the net to hook up to your TV
>There was some kind of science behind it, but it may as well have been magic for how you understood it
>You turn on the TV and flick it over to CTV News
>That'd be relatively safe, and she could learn more about your world
>You put up a little message for her, set to expire in a minute, that would come up across the screen
>'Derpy, some things on here may be scary but it will teach you about my world. If it gets too scary, just call me or go into another room. Love Anon'
>There, that took care of that
>Buzz, buzz
>Huh, another call
"Corporal Anonymous, how can I help you, sir or ma'am?"
>"Anon, can I have a muffin?"
>Of course it was Derpy
>You suppose she missed the note you had left for her about that, oh well
"Sure Derpy, no worries."
>You can practically hear the smile on her face
>"Thanks Anon! You're the be--"
>Beep-beep
>Oh, another call
"Alright Derpy, gotta go. Love you."
>You hadn't even thought of the last part as you said it, but it was too late to think about it
>You were already on the line with the other caller
"Corporal Anonymous, how can I help you, sir or ma--"
>The voice from the other end shouts loud enough to near bust the speaker
>"Anonymous, get your ass down to the armoury! We've got a shooting going on, right fucking now."
>Ah, the sergeant, always pleasent
>You don't bother responding, simply closing your phone, locking your computer, and sprinting through the cubicles towards the armoury
>Finally, this was the shit you had joined for
>You arrive at the armoury to find you're NOT the last one there for once
"Hey, where Kaidanovsky?"
>One of two women on your team, who was loading bullets into a magazine, Garcia if you remember right, looked up and responded
>"I think he busted his leg or something. Either way, he ain't here."
>You shrug and pull on your plate carrier over top of the uniform you're already wearing
>The entire sequence of going from daily uniform to tactical badass took all of five minutes
>Your team piles into the armoured van and it takes off with the stressed squeal of tires
>You all arrive at the scene within ten minutes of the call going out
>As soon as you're out of the door, you take cover behind some concrete barriers there
>The normal beat cops are already hanging out there
>Being the first one out, you crawl over to them to get the scoop
"Hey, what the fuck's going on here?"
>He looks at you, in your baller getup and blinks in disbelief before responding
>"Three guys went in here and just started shooting people. The security footage suggests they've got explosives too."
>You nod and peek over the barricade
"Okay. Where's the situation boss?"
>The officer gestures to a small tent set up about twenty meters away
>You look at the sergeant to your rear and gesture to the tent, and you both head over there
>The commander on the scene nods to you both when you enter the tent
>"Gentlemen, good to see you here. We've got three men with armour, automatic weapons, and grenades. They've killed fifteen so far. We need you guys to make sure they don't kill anyone else."
>He points you to the blueprint of the building and steps aside
>Neither of you even need to speak to the other, there's only one way into the building that's left unblocked
>With that settled, you two walk out, and the sergeant briefs the team
>It's a pretty standard plan, stack, breach, 9 banger, shoot the bad guys that have guns
>Easy shit
>You all stack up on the door, the breacher standing across from you, the first man in the stack
>You have your flash grenade in your hand and primed, waiting for the door to go away
>There's the count, three, two, one
>The shotgun slugs tears through handle of the door and a combat boot kicks it in
>The flash bang grenade flies into the door and, after a few seconds, does exactly as advertised
>You burst into the building, shouting for anyone still there to get down and not move
>You're considering the contradicting nature of these statements as one of the bad guys comes around the corner, weapon blazing
>You fire two controlled bursts and he drops to the floor
>Of course, you're busy with something else and never get to see that
>"Man down, man down!"
>Dammit Garcia, I know you're the medic but do you really have to shout so damn loud?
>Then you notice that you're staring up at the ceiling and you can feel some kind of pressure on your abdomen
>Your helmet and balaclava leave your face and a pair of gloved hands run over it
>A light pour into your eyes, and through it you notice two things
>One, Garcia is looming over you like the inconvenient civilian casualties in the Iraq war
>And there's a cameraman too
>Wait, what?
>Just before your sense of pain returns, you manage to question what the fuck a newsguy is doing following you around
>Then the screaming starts
>The pain is enough to reduce you to a screaming lump, but not enough to make you pass out
>Garcia finally shoves the cameraman away and jabs a needle of morphine into your neck
>It takes effect almost immediately and the pain is replaced with a slight haze around everything
>You're dragged into a sitting position against the nearest wall, and can finally look at why the hell you were hurting so bad
>Блять
>That was at least one of your kidneys gone
>It looked like three bullets had hit you gut, and at least one had gone through the vest
>But you were still breathing, and not vomiting blood, so you were okay for now
>You idly stare at Garcia tending to your injuries when you feel something odd in the grenade pouch on your vest
>Buzz, buzz
>That's weird, there was nothing in there, you always reserved that pouch for your--
>Buzz, buzz
>Oh right, your phone
>With a weak movement, you manage to take it out and hit the talk key
>Garcia is too distracted with trying to keep you from bleeding to do anything though
>As soon as you put the speaker to your ear, a femenine voice floods through
>"--please just be okay! Oh Celestia, Anon, don't die please! I don't wanna be alone Anon, please come back!"
>You have to cut her off
>And despire her volume, you do it with a choked, quiet voice
"Hey, I'm okay. Just a little gut shot is all."
>Her tearful words break down into sobs
>She's utterly distraught and you can't do anything about it
"Hey, Derpy, listen to me. I'm gonna be okay. You just wait for me, okay? Can you do that for me, Derpy? Just wait a little while, okay?"
>Through her sobbing, you can make out a quiet 'yes' before Garcia finally notices your little escapade and hangs up with a quick 'He's busy, he'll call you later'
>You hoped you would anyway
>She looks at you and shakes her head before slinging you over her shoulders and sprinting to the waiting ambulance outside
>The ride is pretty uneventful, and then you get to the ER
>You're immediately brought to an operating theatre and put under
>What happens then is only for the living to know
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>The steady beep of a machine pulls you from the dark hole you had been wallowing in
>Your eyes open, and are flooded with sunlight
>As they adjust, you finally can look at where you are
>Sterilized white walls, stainless steel furnishings polished to a high gloss, medical items everywhere
>Oh, the hospital, that means...
>You look down and see the faint trace of bandages through the dressing gown
>Well, at least you aren't bleeding anymore
>You test out your limbs to ensure they're working alright
>Left arm, check. Right arm, check. Both legs, check.
>With that you, very slowly, swing your legs off the bed and rest them on the floor
>Carefully does it now
>Grabbing onto the IV drip frame, you pull yourself into standing
>Whoa, a little bit of dizziness and some starts floating across your eyes
>Means you just need to take it a bit easier
>On the bright side, your guts weren't aching so you would probably be able to walk just fine
>Time to test that theory
>You take a tenative few steps only to find that your legs are fully capable of still supporting you
>How long were you out?
>Couldn't have been too long, you didn't feel any weakness from lack of nutrition or anything
>You let go of the framework and take a couple, unsupported baby steps
>When you don't fall down, you start walking about normally
>You have a couple dizzy spells, but otherwise you're doing just fine
>That's good, now where are your...
>Ah, a pair of unattended pants and undies for an unattended lower half
>You slip them on and tear off the dressing gown
>Well, you've got pants, but you're still shirtless unless...
>Hey look, one of those nurses shirts, what are they called again, scrubs?
>No matter, you throw that on over your chest and suddenly you feel that much better at being in normal clothes
>Now, time to get outta here
>Buzz, buzz
>Huh, what was that?
>You turn back to your bed, where the noise came from
>Buzz, buzz
>Oh, there's a phone sitting on the bedside table
>You pick it up and read the call display 
>'The Fortress of Solitude'
>Oh, shit it's yours
>You pick up immediately, old habits taking over again
"Corporal Anonymous, how may I help you sir or ma'am?"
>A heartwrenching sob comes from the other end, along with what sounds like a strangled cry of "Anon" but you can't be sure
>But you know just who the hell it is
"Derpy, I'm okay. Don't worry, I'll be coming home soon. Just need to pick up my keys and I'll be on my way. I'm okay Derpy, don't worry. I'll be home soon. Bye."
>You hang up
>Cold as it was to do that, you really did need to get going
>You slip the phone into your pocket and take one last look around to see if you'd forgotten anything
>Nope, you're good
>With that settled, you walk out the door and into the hallway
>Hmmm, there must be a sign around here somewhere directing people
>Aha! There it is
>So the stairs are thataway, and the exit is on the ground floor
>Easy enough
>You follow what the sign says and reach the stairs without incident
>The hospital is fairly crowded this afternoon, and soon you're swept up in a sea of dressing gowns and nursing scrubs
>No matter, you easily pushed your way through the shoal and get onto the decidedly less crowded stairway
>Well, there was a bright side to having you keys attatched to your phone at least
>That's what you think as you exit the hospital without saying you're checking out
>It's less that you didn't want to check out, and more that you didn't think to do so
>Your mind is drawn to getting home and making sure that Derpy was okay
>With that thought in mind, you flag down a taxi and hop inside
"Precinct 39, please."
>The driver doesn't even try to make conversation on the way there
>He seems like an alright lad anyway, just a bit quiet
>You reach the building without incident and he points at the meter
>'29.65'
>Shit, you don't have any money
"I've got to go inside and pick something up. I'll still need a ride after that. That's cool yeah?"
>He nods, implying that it is indeed cool
>With that, you run into the building, tossing a greeting over your shoulder to the secretary
>You arrive at your desk without incident and unlock the drawers
>There we go, there was your wallet and other personal effects that fit in your pocket
>That was all you ever brought to work, arriving and departing in your full uniform
>You sprint back out to find the cab driver sitting on the hood of his car, smoking
>That's fine, you could use one too
>You step up to the cab and light up one of your own
>It gives you some time to think
>You figured the reason you probably were still able to move at all was because of the dosage of drugs they had given you while you were under
>When you'd seen the bandages around your belly, they were clean so you hadn't been bleeding since their last change
>But you also knew that the internal damage from getting hit by a bullet could be devastating
>Though, in the same breath, it could be nothing at all
>You would check it out later though, when you had the materials on hand to do so
>You take another drag of the cigarette, and the grey smoke tht swirls playfully about your head reminds you of the playful grey pegasus waiting at home
>Even though you were okay, she was probably worried to literal sickness
>Out of curiousity, you check your phone
>'143 missed calls'
>Holy shit, the phone must have been going all night long, it was a miracle the battery hadn't drained to zero
>That drives home the urgency of getting back to Derpy
>The driver finishes his smoke and you stub out the rest of yours
>As soon as you're in the car and tell him the address, and offer double if he gets there in five minutes, you're flattened against the seat by accelleration
>You didn't even have time to buckle up
>Four and a half minutes later, you arrive at the apartment where you lived
>You pay the cabbie, double like you promised, and bound out the door
>The key has already unlocked the front door and you're in before you can even think about it
>You press the button on the elevator, but after five seconds you sprint for the stairs
>Thank god you're tall, you take the stairs three at a time
>Finally, you reach the fifth floor and dash down the hallway
>You nearly tumble over at the sudden stop outside your doorway, and you shove the key into the lock
>Twisting it violently, you throw the door open and bound into the bedroom
>Derpy is huddled behind the bed, clearly frightened at the immense noises you had been making on your flight to the bedroom
>But when she sees you, her expression of fear morphs into one of shock and she pounces on you, as a tiger would on a helpless, unexpecting schoolboy
>Normally, that wouldn't knock you over, but you allowed it to propel you backwards onto the bed
>She hugs you and sobs into your chest, making your shirt saltier than an episode of Fighterpedia
>You hug her back of course, stroking her mane and whispering that you were okay and everything would be fine
>You didn't know if it would be, of course
>But with your health coverage and the compensation for being wounded in the line of duty, you figured that it'd be just fine
>Eventually Derpy runs out of tears to cry, but remains hugging you with her face buried in your chest
>And after going and getting yourself shot you figure the least you can do is let her be comforted
>That god damn cameraman, if he hadn't been filming Derpy would never know you'd been shot
>She never would have been so worried, never would have been so distraught
>But then, what if you hadn't pulled through?
>No, you couldn't think about the 'what ifs'
>You had survived and were here for Derpy, that's all that mattered
>After a while, it's clear Derpy has fallen asleep
>You cradle her like a kid and walk into the kitchen
>Your last meal had been...god only knew how long ago, and your guts were aching from hunger
>You take out a frying pan and put it down on the stove, setting it to a high heat and spraying it with Pam
>Then you take a couple eggs from the fridge
>A few years ago, a buddy of your who was a military cook showed you how to crack eggs with one hand
>Good lad, shitty that he'd been killed overseas
>A rocket right into the kitchen, and they'd not found the launchers
>Bastard Taliban
>No matter, you crack the eggs and set them to frying in the pan
>You take a spatula from the drawer and wait
>Two minutes later, you flip them
>At that precise moment, your cellphone rings
>Who could that be?
>You flip it open and press the talk key, holding it to your ear with your shoulder
"Corporal Anonymous, how can I help you?"
>A decidedly concerned voice that you didn't recognize comes over the other end
>"Mr. Anonymous, this is Dr. Elly Ross, from the hospital. Uh...where are you right now?"
>You hardly hesitate to answer
"I'm at home, cuddling with someone who was very hurt seeing me shot."
>There's an uncomfortable pause before the doctor continues
>"We need you to come back to the hospital, to make sure there's no complications."
>You roll your eyes at generic excuse to get you back to the hospital
"No can do, doc. You need me, I'll be at home with someone who ACTUALLY needs me."
>Another pause
>"But we need to give you your medication. I'm certain you can feel what we gave you wearing off already. Your metabolism is quite remarkable."
>You had noticed a tightening in your guts, but you had figured it was just hunger
"Well, just have someone bring them over, okay? I'm not leaving until I've not got a bunch holes in my guts."
>A heavy sigh breaks over the line
>"Fine. I'll send your sergeant over with your pills tomorrow. Make sure you do nothing too strenuous. And whether you agree or not, you'll be back here next week. Is that clear enough, Mr. Anonymous?"
>You smile with the knowledge that you've won
"You've got it doc. Have a nice day."
>Without waiing for a response, you hang up the phone
>The eggs are ready, so you take them out and put them on the waiting play
>Then you turn off the stove, put the pan and spatula in the sink, and dig into your piping hot eggs
>Over easy, just perfect
>Derpy is still laying on your chest, breathing steadily
>You look at her with metaphorical new eyes
>She had been worried to an excessive extent when you were in the hospital, far more than just a friend would be
>What did she consider you, a caretaker, a friend, someone who could be her lover?
>But strangely, out of all those options, the most appealing one that you could think of was lover...
>It had been a long time since you'd shared such feelings with anyone but Palmela Handerson and the internet
>Maybe you could work through the differences of human and pony, and somehow work out a working relationship
>You're snapped from your musing with a yawn
>You could think about it in the morning, maybe even talk about it with Derpy
>The idea of sleep draws you into the bedroom, carrying Derpy with you
>You lay her down first after peeling the blankets back
>You crawl in after her and take her in your arms
>The warm, little pony curls into a tight ball, her own forelimbs holding your own hands in her belly
>You kiss her behind the ear and whisper to her before you close your eyes
"I love you, Derpy."
>And with that, you nuzzle into her neck and fall gently into sleep
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"Embedded in fertile plain, snared in pulp and stone..."
>Ah hell, it's too early to wake up
>"Confounded being emerges, surrounded yet alone"
>The the melody starts playing
>It's six in the morning, once again, says your brain
>Today is a Tuesday, which means the alarm is Be'lakor
>Fucking Australia
>You pull yourself away from the warm body of the little pony that was curled up next to you
>Oh, she must have crawled into bed with you last night
>What an adorable little pegasus she was
>You walk into the bathroom and do your daily mirror check
>I'd fuck me, you think to yourself as you look into the reflecting glass
>You notice you're still wearing your day clothes, gross
>You peel the jeans off first, then the shirt
>You pause after taking off the topwear and look at your belly
>Or to be more accurate, the bandages around your stomach
>Had something happened or...?
>It comes back in a rush, the raid, getting shot, waking up in, and subsequently escaping from, a hospital
>A twinge of agony shoots through your torso
>Shit, best to check it out now
>You unpin the bandage and slowly unravel it from your belly
>Soon enough, it's gone and showing the gauze underneat, medical taped over the approximate area of your kidney
>Only one though so, coupled with the blotchy bruising on the rest of your stomach, only a single  bullet had gone through the plate
>Two out of three wasn't bad, but better to only be bruised than shot
>You take off the gauze too, and check out the hole itself
>Rather, what was left of the hole
>The doctors had sealed it, it seemed., though they'd clearly had to cut you open to get inside you
>They'd left a scar but it was fine by you, you didn't need to be seeing your insides this early
>You turn around to check out the rear for any other damage
>Nothing, not even a patch of gauze
>So the thing had actually stopped in your guts which explained why they'd cut you open
>You wonder if it had fragmented in you and left something behind
>Oh well, it wasn't hurting too bad for now
>You wet down a cloth and wipe it under your armpits to wet them down
>You grab your loofa and put some soap on it after soaking it
>It wasn't a full on shower, but you couldn't get those stitches wet so a hobo bath it was
>It was over quick enough, there wasn't a hell of a lot to do for it
>With that taken care of, you walk back into the bedroom
>Derpy is still sleeping, though she's shivering as if she's cold, and twitching as well
>Well, you didn't have to go to work today so...
>You crawl back into bed and wrap your arms around the shuddering pony
>She stops almost instantly, her breathing returning to a normal rhythm and a content smile appearing on her face
>Before you nuzzle up to her and go to sleep, you wonder if she had ever been sleeping at all
>When next you waken, it's because you can't breathe
>You struggle against a weight that's holding you down, trying to smother you
>But then you feel a strange, warm pressure inside your mouth, moving about like a worm
>You finally wake up enough to focus on the thing that was holding you down
>It was...Derpy?
>You grab her by the sides of her head and pull her off, pinning her beaneath you as you roll over
"Derpy, what the hell?"
>She's wearing the look of a kid that's been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, but a grin that said "do what you must, I have already won" 
>Your scowl deepens and she looks away, realizing that you weren't fooling about
"I asked you a question, dammit."
>Her mouth opens and closes several times before she answers in a stuttering, timid voice
>"I just...you looked so nice sleeping...and I wanted to..."
>She breaks down into tears, but you can piece together what she wanted
"Look, Derpy, I like you but I just don't know if I want that, okay? And even if I did, smothering me with a kiss when I'm sleeping. That just isn't cool."
>She turns away from you and keeps crying
>These aren't crocodile tears, she's actually distraught by your reaction
>You reach over and pet her mane, comforting her the same way you had the night before
>After a little while of your attention, she quiets down
>You roll her over to face you so you can talk to her
>Her eyes are bloodshot from crying and you can see the paths that the tears and mucous had taken coming out of her
>You stroke her cheek with your thumb and smile
"You're a very pretty pony, Derpy."
>She lets out a choked laugh and her frown twists into a small grin
>You take this as an affirmative sign and continue
"Derpy, I really care for you, honestly I do. But the thing is, I treat you so much like a daughter that it seems kinda odd to kiss you and...be intimate"
>Her crooked eyes look into yours, her face a stoic mask
>"Why can't you treat me like you would with another mare, Anon? I can be something more than somepony you treat like a daughter. I WANT to be that. Please?"
>Oh god, that face, that adorable voice trying so hard to be seductive but sound like a kiddy imitation
>But you couldn't deny that she was a very beautiful pony, her body sleek from years of flying all over Equestria, her golden eyes that would glisten in the sunset, her strange ability to be adorable as a kitten, but fuckable as a model
>You sigh, this was not going to make mum and dad happy
"Okay, Derpy, we'll give it a try. JUST light stuff for now, okay? So kissing is fine, cuddling is good, and we can curl up and watch movies and eat dinner together. Does that sound good to you?"
>Her face brightens in an instant and she wraps her forelegs around you
>"Oh thank you Anon! I promise I'll be the best special somepony that you could ever want and make you love me! Oh thank you thank you thankyou!"
>You cough and hug her back, a smile growing on your own face
>You had been in good relationships, bad relationships, and even absusive relationships, but this was your first relationship with a pony
>But you had a feeling that it would last
>And that felt good
>It's still fairly early, so you just hold her there and cuddle, until you're interrupted
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>A knock at the door pulls you out of the warm, fuzzy stupor you'd entered
>Ah hell, who was that who dared to pull you away from the deliciously toasty cuddling under the covers
>You let Derpy go and move to the door to find the answer to your question
>You pull it open a crack, the chain still attached
>Oh, it was Kaidonovski
"Hey man, what's going on?"
>Kaidonovski was a cop back when he had lived in Russia, so he got in under some special program to widen the range of experience on the force
>He was a big, cheery man with a beard that barely stayed in regulations and a distinct taste for hard house music
>He grins before responding in his characteristic booming voice and thick accent
>"Anonymous, my friend! How are you feeling?"
>You can't help but smile back at the Russian giant, and you open the door fully after undoing the chain
"I'd be a lot better if you'd been first in the stack like you were supposed to."
>Your grin betrays the goodhearted nature of the little jab, and though his English wasn't the best, the visitor goes along with it
>"I look on the bright side, friend. If I were first in the stack, I would have been shot! The missus would not have been kind to me about that."
>You both burst out laughing, until you double over in pain
>"What is it, my friend? Perhaps it is atmosphere of the neighborhood, yes? It is worse than a Vladivostok slum here!"
>You shrug at the statement
"The rent's cheap, and no one's bothered me yet."
>You get another, violent bolt of agony through your stomach
"Ah shit, you got the meds there, mate?"
>He holds up a brown paper bag in front of your eyes
>"You think I come here to visit your terrible home? It smells like an old shoes in here."
>Suddenly, you hear a board creak behind you and a voice comes from your back
>"Nonny, who's that?"
>Oh shit, Derpy had decided to follow you out here
>But Kaidonovski just hears a feminine voice and winks at you before calling out to what he thought was just another woman
>"I am his friend delivering medicine for the pain. I am sorry to take up so much time."
>He winks at you before wishing you well and leaving, after leaving the meds inside
>You shut the door and turn to Derpy
>She's standing behind you, her crooked eyes bleary with tiredness, slumped against the wall
>You pick her up and cradle her like a baby
>She seemed to enjoy it, and it was easy for you to do
>She smiles and you kiss her forehead
"That was Kaidonovski, a fellow I work with. He was just dropping of the medication I need for my stomach."
>Speaking of...
>A twinge of pain shoots through your belly, reminding you that you actually had the meds for a reason
>You carry your little pony and the brown bag of pills and such into the kitchen
"Do you want anything to eat or drink while were in here, Derpy?"
>She shakes her head and then lays it on your chest
>God that was cute
>You pour a glass of water for yourself and take two pills from the bottle
>You pop the pills into your mouth and wash them down with the water you had poured
>It was morphine, so you figured it would be fast acting
>With that, you carry Derpy back to the bedroom and lay out on your bed
"Wanna watch something?"
>She shrugs, an odd motion for a pony you think
>Bloody indecisive pony
"Alright, let's watch a movie then. How does "Wreck-it Ralph sound?"
>She nuzzles against your chest like a kitten
>"Whatever you decide is best, Anon."
>Wreck-it Ralp it is
>You flick on the TV and turn over to your pirated Netflix
>It paid to have friends that could actually into stealing stuff from the cable company
>And it was American no less, so you had twice the selection you'd normally have
>You find what you're looking for and turn it on
>The Disney logo comes up, and you hear a tired Derpy comment on it from her position on your chest
>"That looks like Canterlot!"
>You can't help but smile, she is kinda right
>It gets to the first scene, showcasing all the arcade machines and she excitedly starts telling you about the time that she played on one in Ponyville
>The movie keeps playing, but you're distracted by Derpy's commentary
>It isn't annoying to you, you'd already seen this movie a dozen times or more
>The more she talks, the more you learn about what Equestria is really like
>And it really does sound like a utopia
>You're already starting to reconsider your decision for choosing option two
>Sure no sex would suck, but you'd be with your true waifu for as long as you two lived
>You can feel yourself tearing up thinking about it
>The movie has reached the part where Ralph smashes Venelope's car, so Derpy mistakes your crying for being triggered by that scene
>She nuzzles and kisses your neck, trying to distract you
>You rub against the top of her head in turn, drying your tears on her mane
>You notice that, as a line of warmth runs down your neck, she's crying too
>The movie continues, oblivious to the emotional reaction it's inducing
>It finally reaches its climax, the bugs invading Sugar Rush
>She shrieks when the first one appears from bellow the track
>As the scene continues, she clings ever tighter to you
>She lets out a confused 'huh' when Ralph starts destroying the volcano, and cheers when he beats Turbo/Candy King
>Then it hits her, what he's doing out of love for his friends, as Ralph plummets towards the volcano, repeating the BadAnon meeting
>She starts sobbing, and doesn't even stop when he gets rescued by Venelope
>The rest of the movie is lost in a blur of tears for her, and an onslaught of stroking and hugging for you
>And yet, through it all, the final spoken line of the movie tugs at your heartstrings enough to make your eyes hot
>"...because if that little girl likes me, how bad can I be?"
>The credits roll, and Derpy is still sniffling in your chest as you pet her
>The sun goes down and your room is engulfed in the darkness of a moonless night
>Your stomach is starting to twinge, so you get up
>Derpy keeps clinging to your body as you walk into the kitchen
>You take your pills again and look around the kitchen
>Your eyes stop on the box of muffins
>Perfect
>Derpy's head was still pressed against your chest
>You pop two muffins into the microwave and start it up
>She pulls herself away and looks in the direction of the cooking pastries
>"What's that, Anon?"
>You press her head against your chest again
"It's a surprise, no peeking."
>She gives your neck a playful nip
>"Meanie."
>You chuckle and tousle her mane
"I guess I am, aren't I?"
>She struggles in your arm like a little kid, so you let her down onto the floor
>She uses her good wing to propel herself onto the counter with a jump, and then onto the half-wall you're leaning on
>She looks at you with those big, crooked eyes and, before you can blink, kisses you
>You quickly respond by grabbing the sides of her face and pulling her into it more
>Your tongues colide and wrestle in an intimate display of love
>The beeping of the microwave interrupts your affectionate moment and you push her away to go collect the contents of the microwave
>Her face takes on an exagerated look of sadness and she follows you
>You withdraw the two muffins with grandeur that was worthy of a Legend of Zelda Item Catch
>Derpy's face instantly brightens and she propels herself with a jump and one wing just high enough to grab the muffin from your hand
>She munches happily on her prize and you take a bite of the muffin she hadn't grabbed
"Nice snag."
>She looks up at you, positively beaming at the even slight praise
>"Thanks Anon!"
>She mumbles it around a mouthful muffins and gets cuter by the second
>She finishes off the muffin and looks up at you with puppy dog eyes, begging for yours
>The effect is only slightly marred by her strabismus
>But in a way, it makes the gesture that much more adorable
>You roll your eyes and toss the pastry in the air above her
>She jumps for it like a seal after a fish, catching it in mid air
>You chortle and clap for her, to which she stands up on her hind legs, raising her hooves above her head to receive your applause
>Your morphine pills start kicking in and you yawn, kneeling down and extending your arms for Derpy to climb into
>She obliges you, kissing your neck as she settles in
>You bring her into the bedroom with you and, unceremoniously, toss her on the bed, careful to do it in a way that she doesn't slam onto her broken wing
>She lands and looks up at you with a wistful gaze
>Or is it seductive?
>Either way, you were too fucked to do anything tonight
>So you just grab her and spoon her, kissing her neck and cheeks occasionally
>She gives a contented sigh and says her final words before sleeping
>"Good night, Anon. And...I want you to know...I love you."
>You smile and boop her muzzle, silently laughing when she scrunches her face up
"I know. And you know, I was hesitant at first, I didn't know if it would work between us. But I think I love you too, Derpy."
>She sighs again, more a lovestruck one, and presses her face against your neck
>You curl around her much smaller frame and drift off as well
>An odd thought crosses through as you fall into the well of slumber though
>What will tomorrow bring for you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>A crash echoes in your living room
>It startles you to wakefulness, and Derpy jumps in time
>You pet her mane to comfort her, listening to a whisper coming from outside your bedroom
>You gently push the little pony down and lean over the edge of your bed
>You take the shoebox you'd stored under there as a sort of 'in case of emergency' thing for this neighborhood
>You take the item stored within
>A weapon that was able to get you a longer sentence than what you did with it
>You load the hold-out pistol with hollow point rounds that you had modified yourself
>They were .32 ACP hollow-points that you had cut in such a way to resemble the banned "Black Talon" round
>And, of course, a teflon coating to make damn sure
>You take a small tube from the box and start twisting it over the barrel
>The final touch
>Not even the neighbors would hear you
>You step gently out of the bed, careful to make as little noise as possible
>You could hear the intruders clomping around, doing their best to remain silent
>Their best wasn't enough
>You don't hear Derpy get out of bed, but you feel her tug on your pantleg
>Once more, you give her a gentle push as emphasis to stay put
>Then you go and stand beside the door, preparing, mentally and physically, to rush out and teach whoever dared to intrude on your property a lesson in manners
>Three
>Two
>One
>You give the door a mighty kick and it flies open
>You follow it as it moves, your pistol up and made ready to fire
>The first ski mask goes down in the middle of his turn
>The second, a luchadore mask, gets his pistol halfway into an aiming position before his heart is neatly turned into so much paste
>A flash of light and a mighty roar echoes to your left
>You feel a lance of agony sear through your hip and into your pelvis
>The adrenaline ramps up further and you turn to the shooter
>A Japanese oni mask
>Even behind the mask, you can see his eyes widen
>He fumbles the action on his revolver and raises it once more
>Another draconic roar, and another burning line of pain, this one through your right lung
>You drop to your knees, panting from shock and the sudden loss of breath
>The adrenaline keeps most the pain away, and a strange red haze seems to glow around everything
>You still have enough wits about you though
With your left hand, you raise your own pistol at the demon
>Tick, tick, tick
>Three shots, textbook center of mass, remove a lung, his right kidney, the heart, and of course, his life
>As the monster collapses in a loose heap, you nearly follow, stopping just before you smash into the ground
>You hear the gallop of hooves as Derpy rushes over to you
>"Anon, Anon! What happened, are you okay?"
>Your smile, though bloody and twisted from pain, is genuine
>Here you were, bleeding onto the floor of your apartment, and she was asking if you were okay?
>You lower yourself to the floor and roll onto your back, running a bloodstained hand through her mane
"I'm okay, Derpy. Just need to lie down."
>Your voice is soft and hoarse, losing that lung had really messed you up
>A pounding comes at the door
>"This is police, open up the door, friend!"
>Dammit Kaidonovski, why'd you have to be the one to respond to this call?
>You hear the lock go to splinters and boots pounding the linoleum of the kitchen
>You raise your head, just in time to see the giant Russian jump around the corner, carbine raised, and stop when he sees you surrounded by three bodies and petting a magical pony
>The cold voice of memory echoes through your mind
>No one but you can know of her existence in this world
"Derpy, hide."
>She stays by your side, burying her face in your chest and crying her eyes out
>To his credit, the bearlike police officer barely reacts to Derpy's presence, instead opting to grab his belt-on first aid kit
>He sprinkles Quik Clot over the bullet holes, setting your side and hip on fire
>You let out a pained moan
>You know it's too late for that
>And too late for Derpy as well
>You feel her mane turn to something insubstantial
>You feel her pull away, hear her scream, and then smell an ashen scent on the breeze that has appeared from nothing
>Your sight is already gone, that can't be good
>And now, Derpy's gone too
>You cry as Kaidonovski picks up your body and sprints towards his squad car to get you to a hospital
>You cry for yourself, for the three intruders you just killed, for the giant that had tried to save your life, for the team you would be abandoning
>But most of all, you cry for the faithful, grey pegasus that had been at your side even as your breath shuddered and wheezed uselessly through your damaged pneumonics
>The beautiful pony that had held you when you cried over nothing, who had shared her warmth with you
>Derpy, loyal friend and companion in the cold nights
>And she had gone before you
>The road the car travels is slick with black ice
>Kaidonovski drives far too quickly, perhaps unknowing, perhaps uncaring
>A sharp bend, a slight oversteer, a great deal of overcorrection for the skid
>You feel your body take flight, an impact delaying your entry to the cold, bitter winds only momentarily
>The cold snow cradles your broken body, the ditch was deep and long
>White everywhere, you could see it even in your blindness
>The fire of your wounds dies painfully in the numbing bite of the wind and ice
>You know this is your last moment
>Alone, adrift in a sea of snow, ice, and wind
>You see the ghostly shimmer of a grey horse with a mane of spun daffodils and eyes of burnished gold
>A warm sensation engulfs your body, and a bright light fills your vision
>And then, all sights, all sensation
>All fades away, and you slip the tenuous grasp that life held on you, and you drift into the all becoming darkness
>Bone jarring impact, the taste of earth in your mouth, the musky smell of hot vegetation, the moist feel of dirt on your skin
>You spit the mud from your mouth and open your eyes
>Wait, how can you open your eyes?
>Wait longer, how the fuck are you thinking?
>That is you thinking, right brain? Right, okay it is
>Now onto the question of the hour, shouted at the top of your intact, healthy lungs
"What in the nine hells is going on?"
>You feel the ruffle of feathers on your shoulder and whirl about
>It's a small, purple unicorn
>No wait, those wings, that cutie mark...
"Twilicorn?"
>The creature seems unsure of how to respond to the question
>"Er, no. My name's Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to Equestria, Anonymous. We've been waiting for you."
>Wait what?
"Waiting for me? What do you mean?"
>Twilight paws the dirt with her hoof
>"Ever since ponies began disappearing we, that is the princess' and I, have been tracing each of the ponies' unique magical imprints. It seems they all go to your world in some way or another. All we can do is watch, though."
>She frowns and looks at the ground
>"Cadance was the first one to develop the spell. Me, Luna, even Celestia herself all were brought to your world. Maybe Cadance was too, she refuses to talk about anything relating to it."
>You scratch your head as she continues
>"Anyway, I saw your soul enter the Beyond but it just kinda...floated there, like it was lost. So I decided, given that you seemed to be a good fellow, to guide it towards Equestria, towards us. As soon as it arrived, I guess your old body assembled around it. I don't entirely understand it but with a few tests I'm sure--"
>You cut her off with a gesture
"Alright princess egghead, you've made your point. Now where's Ponyville?"
>Twilight growls at being interrupted, but begrudgingly points the way
>You take off at a dead sprint
>This was the day you had been waiting for ever since you'd discovered Friendship is Magic
>Oh man, you wish you could tell the guys on /mlp/ about this one
>After a short while, you arrive on the outskirts of the town, but you don't stop there
>Your erratic path takes you, in a roundabout manner, straight to the square
>And there she is sitting on the bench in her usual manner
>Lyra
>Her gaze meets yours and her jaw drops in disbelief
>You take on a more regal walk and move towards her
>Finally, you arrive in front of the shocked unicorn
"Hi there, my name's Anonymous."
>The hand you had extended to shake is grasped by desperate hooves and violently shaken
>"Ohmigosh I never thought I'd seen another human in my life! How did you get here? Where are you from? What's having hands really like?"
>You smile as she continues to chatter on excidedly, and you take a seat next to her
>She continues to assault you with inquiries, barely pausing to breathe let alone for you to respond
>But you feel an odd pressure on the back of your neck
>It's that same sensation that you feel when someone stares at you, that little sixth sense every person possessed
>You turn around, only to catch a fleeting glimpse of a grey blur rounding a corner
>A guilty pit forms in your stomach
>Lyra chatters away, completely oblivious to your discomfort
>You don't even hear her as you think to yourself
>That was Derpy, it had to be
>She had made it back to Equestria, and she had seen you with Lyra
>But Lyra was your waifu, how could you turn down a chance to be with her?
>Your heart makes it easy
"Lyra, stop."
>The dead tone in your voice makes her stop mid sentence
"Listen, when I was on Earth, I idolized you. You were the best thing that I had ever found. But I made a promise to another pony. I'd be glad to answer your questions, but not now."
>Without waiting for a response, you take off sprinting for where you had seen the grey blur flee
>Rounding the corner, you see nothing
>But then you hear it
>A heartwrenching sob
>Silently, you make your way towards where it had come from
>A pile of trash behind the building
>You round on it and find exactly what you were looking for
>A little mailmare named Derpy
>Her sobs stop when she sees you loom over her
>You smile like you would to a long lost friend and hold out a hand to her
>She moves stiffly, but places her own hoof in your hand
>With that, you pull her up and hug her
>She starts crying again, this time out of happiness
>And she isn't alone either, you think as your own cheeks moisten
>You pull her away and look into her eyes
>Those glistening, crooked eyes steal all meaning of time for you
>But you're yanked back to the present as the pegasus kisses you
>Soon enough, you're kissing her back, returning her passion with your own
>The kiss ends too soon, and yet leaves you happier than ever
>"Anonymous...I thought you were never coming back. And not to a crippled mare like me..."
>You smile and give her a gentle slap on the cheek
"Hey, I'll always come back. And you shut up about being crippled. You're strong and beautiful as any other mare."
>She smiles and nuzzles against your neck
>The sun is setting, painting the town bloody red
>You both look to the West and sigh contentedly
>"Hey Anonymous?"
>You look down at her, though she keeps staring at the suns path
>You can't tell because of the shading, but you could swear she's blushing
>"I...I love you, Anonymous."
>You smile warmly and kiss the top of her head, rubbing her back
"I love you too, Derpy."
>And so you both stare at the setting sun, enjoying the last warmth of the star, but enjoying the warmth of each other far more
>And in the end, isn't that what really matters?