>You pause in front of the mail boxes.
>It wouldn’t hurt to check, right?
>No point, not like anypony wants to write to you
>Heading upstairs to your apartment, you enter the empty home.
“I’m home.”
>Silence greets you.
>Dropping your bags, you pull out the bottle you bought.
>You head into the living room and put on a record.
“Some music will help me relax while I drink.”
>’You do know that drinking will only make it worse.’
“I don’t care.”
>’We’ll see about that.’
>Opening the bottle, the smell bucks you in the face.
“A little strong.”
>You pour yourself a glass and prepare yourself.
“I remember others saying I should down it in one go, so here goes nothing.”
>Quickly mimicking what you’ve seen, the liquor goes down your throat.
>It feels like your throat is on fire, and you start coughing.
>’Bad move Connie.’
>Your body heaves, and eventually the coughing slows down.
“How do ponies drink this?!”
>A small bit of warmth starts to course through you.
>’Look at you, a drinker now. Are you going to whore yourself out too?’
“Shut up.”
>You pour another glass and drink it just like before.
>And like before, you cough again.
>’Keep drinking, maybe you’ll do something right and die.’
“I said shut up.”
>The warmth grows, and you don’t feel as hollow.
“More is the answer, right?”
>Filling another glass, you down it this time without coughing.
>’Going to keep drinking to shut down the truth? You know the orchestra already is judging you.’
“Fuck off.”
>’When they smell the alcohol on your breath, they will get rid of you for sure.’
>You shake your head, you feel a little woozy.
“No, this is just temporary. The doctor will get back to me and everything will be fine.”
>Taking another drink, the hollowness you felt is gone.
>However, you start to feel sad.

>’There is no cure for what Eri is going through remember? Since you’re a bigger freak, there isn’t one for you either. You’re fucked Connie.’
>Without warning a sob escapes.
“No.”
>’You’ve already ruined your career, your friendships, and now, your life.’
“I didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident.”
>’They don’t see it that way. Remember how Feather only cared about herself? Remember how she lied to you?’
>You hunch over and more tears escape.
“She’s my friend, she didn’t lie to me.”

>’Wow, you actually believe that? What kind of pony would be your friend? You’ve always been awkward, don’t you remember how the other foals ignored you?’
>You try to ignore it and finish the bottle.
“Why isn’t this working? I don’t want to hurt.”
>’You’ve always been alone, you’re a freak and a loser. Do the world a favor and end it all Connie.’
>Sobbing, you cry out.
“No, please stop this!”
>’Stop? No! It’s high time you hear the truth, from yourself no less. No pony loves you and you’re a waste of space.’
>Falling from the stool you curl into a ball crying.
>’You can’t escape this, not anymore. This is what you really want, to finally be free.’
>Mind keeps racing, heart is pounding, and your vision is blurry.
“No! I don’t want that.”
>’Stop lying to yourself! Death is what you really want, so die already you freak of nature!”
>Coughing, you barely whisper out.
“I can’t do this, I don’t want to.”
>’MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF, SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT!’
>Grabbing your own head, you bash it off the ground.
>Each hit is agonizing, but the thoughts don’t stop.
>’THAT ISN’T ENOUGH CONNIE! DO IT! END YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE YOU CALL A LIFE!’
>Your throat aches, and you desperately try to fight back
“No, make it stop!”
>’DO IT!’

>Finally, you have had enough.
>Standing, you grab the bottle and shatter it against the table.
“No more thoughts, no pain, no more want, no more worry!”
>Holding the broken bottle in your hoof, you shake violently.
>Just as you’re about to bring it to your neck, you hesitate for a second.
>A small thought pulls its way through.
>Don’t do this.
>’DON’T BE A COWARD, FINISH THE JOB CONNIE!’
>Shaking your head, you focus once more.
“Time to go asleep.”
>In one movement, you bring the broken bottle across your neck.
>Agony fills your senses and you stumble.
>Words no longer escape.
>Your legs give out from underneath you and you fall to the ground.
>All you can hear the record playing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOwXwB5wf5w
>You’ve always loved this song.
>Laying there, you stare at the ceiling.
>It gets colder, but the pain finally ends.
>The thoughts are gone finally.
>It feels like you’re slipping into a warm bath.
>So soothing.
>Vision is fading fast.
>But it’s okay
>Free at last.