=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15=

-Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-

>Breakfast.
>Toast.
>BURNT toast.
>Again.
"And on her last day of our bet, she decides to be a cunt and burns my food to carbon."
>You toss your ruined toast and watch it break into a million pieces.
>"It slipped." Celestia says.
"How often have those words been uttered around you?"
>Celestia rolls her eyes as you start buttering a sweet role.
>The Royal Family was rather small today, just Luna.
>Armor and Cadence were off in the Crystal Kingdom cleaning up after Sombra's crap.
>You remember that week, you had been on Celly's tits the entire time wondering why she was sending six kids instead of going herself.
>She spouted some crap about it being a test for Twilight.
>Meaning it smelled like a case of the "bad ex"'s to you.
>But that was the past now.
"So how you been, Luna?" you ask as you butter your bread.
>Luna sips her tea and arches an eyebrow. "I have been...well, In-law. I have been spending time out with some friends out in the city."
>Luna.
>Friends.
>Ha.
"And how's that been?"
>"It has been well, I even had a social date the other evening."
>Celestia sighs. "Spending time with those you care for is so nice..."
>You nod.
"That it is."
>"I wish I could get out more often."
"Yeah, it's a bit boring here all the time."
>"So you'll pick me up at eight?"
"Yeah, su-"
>Whoa.
>Wait.
>What?

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwLtFovGyCI-
>You and Celly were in your Sunday best sitting in the middle of the "Le", Canterlot's premier fancy restraint.
>You thought the name was flank-on-head retarded.
>Everyp0ny else sat around the outer edge of the establishment eating and being merry.
>You catch a few glances to your table still.
"Everyone is staring."
>Celly continues to eat her food. "We're royalty, it comes with the territory."
"Don't talk with your damn mouth full."
>"I'm the Sun, I can do what I want."
"You're a Princess, don't be a cunt."
>Celly waggles her eyebrows and puts a few leaves of salad in her mouth before saying "No."
>You resort to your last choice and flip her the bird.
>"Body language, dear. We're in public."
"Since when has public image been something you care about?"
>"Since I've had to pick up after you."
"Just keeping life interesting, don't want you going back into Hyper-Whore mode."
>"It keeps life interesting~" Celly says as she downs her wine.
>Hmm...should fix that.
>Your waiter returns to your table levitating a notepad. "And can I get the royal family anything else this evening?"
"A bottle of Asgardian Black, if you don't mind."
>The waiter balks a bit but regains his composure. "Is His Highness feeling particularly daring today?
>You toss a smile to Celly.
"No, I just like to get wined and dined before I get fucked."

>Celly sent your drink back as soon as it arrived, denying you and sort of fun you had planned and forcing you to do the thing you dreaded doing.
>Talking.
"So what's the plan for next week?"
>"The Prench president is stopping by for a bit of a chat about the situation of Horsaille and later in the week I was thinking about helping teach magical theory at the university."
"So you're gonna smell like cheap cheese and booze for a week, brilliant."
>Celly arches an eyebrow. "You'd prefer if I smell like you do? Sweat and whatever food was tossed at you?"
"Feck off."
>"Always a way with words, dear."
"One of us here has to."
>"And what are your plans for the week?"
"Figured I'd work most days, come home to your bitchy ass, and drink until I can't feel feelings anymore. You know, stuff normal people do as opposed to your God-king schedule."
>Celestia grins down. "Don't tell me you're still jealous~?"
"Don't fucking start that shit again."
>Celly titters and goes back to her meal, letting you spot two familiar faces over her shoulder.
"Hey, check five-thirty and seven."
>Celly looks over her shoulders at Filthy Rich on her right and Fancypants on her left.
>"Small Equestria."
"And you fucked one of them."
>"I have not slept with EVERYONE, dear."
"She said totally believing herself."

>Your soup came in time, one of the only filling things you could get outside of the castle.
"They burnt my soup..."
>"That's what you get for being picky."
"How do you burn soup?"
>"Honestly, I thought the royal chef was going to quit a few times."
"It's SOUP."
>"Why is it that you make half the castle staff almost quit just by being you?"
"Is Sweetie Belle working the backroom or some fucking shit?" 
>"I swear that's the reason I don't take you out on diplomatic missions, you'd start a war in an hour."
>You continue to glance around the restaurant as an older stallion come to your table.
>"Princess Celestia." he began.
>Yeah, just ignore you.
>"It is my great honor to have you in my establishment tonight, and I would just like to ask if there was anything I could do for you to make your evening any more pleasant."
"You burnt my soup."
>Celly and him talk around you.
>"Oh thank you sir, but the dinner was positively lovely."
"Except for my burnt soup."
>"Your praise warms this old heart, Princess, thank you." he says with a bow.
"Do you have a little white filly working in the kitchen?"
>"The praise is well earned, good sir."
"About this tall? Unicorn? Pink hair and a high pitched voice?"
>The stallion bows deep as he continues to ignore you.
>Okay, that's it.
>You grab his ear.
"Hey, can you give me a hand with something?" you whisper.
>His eyes dart between you and her. "What did you have in mind, sir?"
>Oh.
>Something good.

>You kick in the door to the royal apartments.
"Luna! We're home!"
>You hoist the moaning Celestia further onto your back and trudge into through the door, grunting all the way.
"And I could use some damn help here!"
>Luna trots out of her room and balks when she sees you holding a Celestia who frankly looked like death on your back. "In-law! What happened!?"
>You take a few more steps as Luna helps lift Celly off your back.
>You massage the small of your back and groan as Luna looks her sister over.
>"WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" she shouts.
"Ease up on the Royal Voice, she ate pears."
>Luna twists her head a bit. "Pears?"
"She's allergic. Stomach cramps."
>Luna nods her head. "Ah..."
"Care to help me lug her to bed?"
>"O-of course, In-law."
>You help Luna carry your wife upstairs and dump her fat ass on the bed.
>Once Luna is out of the room, you collapse on the bed next to Celly and give her your best grin.
"How ya feeling, Sunshine?"
>She mumbles something, you're sure you hear the word "revenge" in there.
>You pat her head.
"Now don't be like thaaaat, it's all in fun."
>She groans and rolls over as you hop up next to her.
"You gonna warn me if you vomit?"
>She moans again. "Uuhhhhgggggggg...yes..."
>She was totally lying, but that was the price you paid.
>You flip on the TV and nudge her as the show comes on.
"Oh look, Dirty Jobs."
>Celly moans and groans under the covers at the thought of a show about sewers with poop.
>You sigh contentedly.
"I had a good night too, sweetheart.