=Am I Evil 14=

Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0569Wt-cZ0

>You rifle through the posters and memorabilia at your fingertips.
>No…no…no…crap…crap…that one was porn.
>The Neighponese had both the best and worst merchandise in the world.
>You’re so busy that you don’t notice the shop aide come up beside you. “Help?” she asks in her heavily accented tongue.
>Uhhh…
“No, no thank you.” You say shaking her head.
>The aide tils her head to the side still looking at you before she picks up a black shirt with red arrows on it. “Help?”
>No. Fuck.
>Eris hadn’t shut up speaking Neighponese the entire flight over and you stand there awkwardly trying to remember a word of it.
>Wait, shit, what was that apparent catch-all term she gave you?
“Uhh…欠 を 食べる.”
>The aide blinks a few times and looks taken aback. “Hai?”
>FUCK.
>You put your hands together and bow to her.
“欠 を 食べる.” You say again.
>You begin backing out of the store, keeping your head bowed before you turn on your heel and hightail it down the street.
>Smooth as silk, Anon.

>Yoketo’s streets were kept cleaner than you were used to. No errant scraps of paper or bird shit anywhere, no fucked up paint jobs or dropped cups. Just clean orderly streets.
>It gave you the fucking willies, no city should be this clean, and there was no charm. This entire island needed to stop making movies about giant monsters fucking their shit up and actually have it happen.
>You were kidding, of course.
>Probably.
>Still, it surprised you that Filthy had insisted you all come out here.
>According to Filthy, heavy metal had a giant underground scene in Neighpon where Equestrian values weren’t held onto so tightly. Not as hard as their idol values which were basically the same shit with skirts on, but it was at least there.
>His logic was that in order to properly get your hooks into the region, you had to strike out early and keep striking.
>That meant attracting kids as much as it did adults.
>And so that meant you got to be special guests on the biggest national program, Happy Road Adventures: Cloth Friends Magicka.
>Basically a kid’s show with puppets. You’d never heard of it.
>It filmed out of this several block radius of functional amusement park style area where actors would be in character all the time while they filmed the show.
>The plan was for you all to meet the kids and parents before playing something for them.
>That was the plan, anyway. The rest of the band might say “fuck that” and go do something more fun.
>You hoped so, anyway.

>You walked up to the hotel you were staying at to find Eris and head-what was she holding.
“Eris, what the fuck is that.”
>”Hahn?” she asks, pulling her eyes away from her phone.
“That.”
>You point to the four foot long pillow she was holding under one arm like it wasn’t no thing.
“What is that.”
>”It’s my Dakimakura.”
“What the hell kind of word is that.”
>”A local word, you gaijin.” She scoffs, going back to her phone.
“What is it FOR?”
>”Cuddling in bed.”
>You do a double take.
“You’re going to SLEEP with that thing?”
>”Oh relax, it’s not like it’ll take your spot or anything. I bought it because I liked the character.”
“…This fat bearded guy?”
>”Ron-sempai is not fat, he’s big boned.”
>She raises the pillow of the blushing tub o’ lard to her face and nuzzles it. “And I like the feeling of his beard on my face~.”
>You visibly recoil a bit.
>”Pussy.”
“Were you officially crowned Queen of Weebs or is it a self-claimed title?”
>”Baka-gaijin.” She says with a wink.
>You sigh and stand next to her as people pass by you.
“Where’re the others?”
>”At the place thing already, they went ahead.”
>That was weird.
“Why didn’t you go with them?”
>”I figured we could walk there together.” She says as she puts her phone away.
>Oh.
>Huh.
“Yeah…I’d like that, let’s boogie oogie.”
>You take her free hand and start walking down the road, getting a nod from the doorman on the way.
“欠 を 食べる.” You say to him with a nod.
>This earns you a gutbusting laugh from Eris.
“What!?” you exclaim.
>”I can’t believe you just said that!”
“You told me to on the plane!”
>”I was –fucking with you- Anon!” she cries as she holds in chuckles.
>Wait…that means…
“Eris, what the FUCK have I been saying all day?”
>She leans over and whispers in your ear.
>…
”God fucking dammit.”

>You and Eris end up at the studio lot where the episode is being film. VIP status got you past all the mothers trying to get their kids in to see the characters and maybe be in the background.
“Uhh…hi.” You say to the door guard.
>Eris bows.
>Fucking weeb.
“We’re with the Neon Knights? We’re playing today instead of the Three Peace Band.”
>This whole country had been all about that peace since the war.
>The guard nods as he checks his list “Through there.” He says with an accent.
>You and Eris step inside into bizarre world.
>It was a street, a fully functioning street with shops and stores and places you could get coffee. It also had people in full costume or animatronics or puppets where the puppeteers could hide and a gross of kids that were running around having a ball.
“Jeeze!” you shout as one bumps into your leg.
>Next to you, Eris claps excitedly. “Oohhhh! I’m gonna go to Mr Barson’s shop first and then ride the S.S. SSSSSSSSSSS, And then eat lunch under the wishing tree!”
>Wait.
“The S.S. what?”
>“Bertie only had an S stencil.”
“You –like- this show? It’s for toddlers!”
>Eris cocks an eyebrow at you like you were fucking retarded. “Do you KNOW how long Happy Road Adventures: Cloth Friends Magicka has been on the air?”
“Nnnnnnno? Is this just because you’re a weeb?”
>Eris doesn’t pay attention to you, opting to look past and exclaim. “Sugary dream rolls!” before she runs off to a roadside food purveyor.
>You slink off hoping to find some sanity somewhere.

>You amble along down the road until a familiar voice catches your ear.
>”-sure he didn’t mean it.”
“Huh?”
>You turn your head and walk down an alley.
“Sombra?”
>”I just don’t know.” Another voice says.
>You round a corner and find Sombra sitting on a box next to what looks like a talking lemon with hair. Sitting at both their feet are about twelve kids.
>”Oh, hey Anon.” Sombra says as all the locals turn to look at you. “Kids this is Anonymous. He’s my friend.”
>The kids all wave or say hello, you offer a wave back.
“What are you doing back here?”
>Sombra pats the lemon’s back. “Just helping my boy Bort here with some boyfriend troubles.”
>What the fuck kind of name is Bort.
“Huh?”
>One of the kids pipes up. “Bort’s friend Arnie has been making him sad.”
>Bort sighs. “He leaves his clothes out, he puts his feet on my chair.”
>Sombra reacts uncharacteristically concerned. “Have you asked him not to?”
>Bort sighs again. “You know how he is.”
>One of the kids chimes in. “Friends will always listen if they care about you.”
>The rest of the kids all nod and offer their agreement, Sombra points at the one who spoke. “He’s right.”
>Bort sighs one more time. “I guess I should talk to him.”
“Really?”
>Is this really happening?
>Sombra looks up at you.
“You…know this stuff?”
>Sombra just stares at you for a few seconds. “Dude, everyone knows Bort and Arnie.”
>This country is fucking bonkers.

>You escaped the alleyway of insanity and continued down the road, looking for anything worth doing while you waited for the set. You found it hiding off in her own little corner of the world staring at a wall while sitting under a tree.
“…Hey Chrys.”
>”Hey Anon.” she says.
>You lean against the tree next to her. 
“What’s up?”
>She looks away from you and blows air out through her teeth.
“Oh come on, don’t give me that. I thought we were close.”
>”Having sex doesn’t make us close.”
“It does when you stay for breakfast. Come on Chrys, this is me asking. Not Arty or the others.”
>The Changeling Queen sighs. “It’s these kids.”
“Hmmm?”
>You take a seat down next to her.
“What’s up?”
>”I haven’t…been around kids in a long time. Not really.”
“Aaaand?” you ask.
>”And so it got me thinking.”
>You skootch closer as she talks. “I’m thinking how…in the past before everything, you know, happened. How I was a totally different person.”
“What do you mean?”
>”It’s like…I was the Queen, the head matron of the hive. I took care of thousands of our young over the years…”
“…Any of your own?”
>Chrysalis doesn’t answer and just looks away, you put your hand on her shoulder to try to comfort your friend.
>”It’s been…so long since then, I knew I was bound to change.” She looks back at you with the slightest bit of sarcastic mirth. “I swear, I wasn’t as promiscuous back then.”
“What? You? Sleep around? Perish the thought.”
>Chrysalis laughs that kinda laugh where you only exhale through your nose once, sharp and quick.
>”Being here with these kids…I dunno, I just don’t think who I am now can be the mom to these kids I used to be.” She says lowering her head.
>You pat Chrysalis’ shoulder.
>”Well why do you have to?”

>You and Chrysalis look behind the tree to where an 8 foot tall bipedal bird was standing.
>You –hear- Chrysalis’s face drop. “Bymyancestorsit’sPillaringPetrel.”
“Oh god, not you too.”
>Pillaring Petrel walks around the tree and cants his head to the side. “Hi!”
“…Hello.”
>Chrysalis meeps. It was cute.
>”Are you guys with the new band?” he asks.
>You nod.
“Yeah, we’re filling in for the Three Piece Band.”
<The bird ruffles its feathers. “Well, I bet you guys are gonna be really great!” He then looks around. “Oh. But…you’re here all alone…”
>You nod again and point to Chrysalis. 
“You heard us talking before. My friend can be…skittish around kids.”
>Petrel nods. “Yeah…I heard that…”
>He waddles over to her. “What’s your name?” he asks.
>Chrys looks up at him with big eyes. “…Chrysalis.”
>”Hi Chrysalis…”
>This guy had to know her reputation from the Canterlot invasion…he had to.
>”Is it true? Are you afraid you can’t be like a mom to all the kids here?”
>She nods.
>"Gosh.  Maybe you don't need to be a mom to these kids.  They'll be happy enough if you'll just be their friend.  Hmm...you used to be just like them.  Be the kind of friend that you needed as a little girl." Petrel says.
>The air hangs still for a moment with that just out there before Petrel scampers to the sidewalk again. “Well, it was nice meeting you! I have to go into town to meet my friends now, but I’ll see you at your show!”
>You and chrysalis sit in stunned silence for a moment more.
“…Smart bird.”
>”Yeah…”
>…
>”Anon? Let’s go hang out with the kids and play our song.” She says, standing up.
>You rise too.
“Any ideas?”
>”I was thinking giving an old pop hit our own flair~” she coos.
“I know that smirk, what are you getting at?”
>Chrysalis skips off down the street. “You’ll see! Now hurry up!”

>Over the day, all of you had been caught on camera hanging out with the cast members and kids, Eris and Artemis even ended up in one of their skits about alphabet letters.
>When they cut for lunch, Huey and the roadies came in and set up the instruments and amps in a corner of the street.
>Chrysalis stands at the mic and waits for the recording light on the cameras to come on.
>”One! Two! Three! Hit it!”
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPMPnrz7enw
>You slide your hand down the neck of your guitar, holding one string while messing with your noise gate. You and Artemis smack out the simple chords that those preteen rejects wrote a decade back and bob around your simple performing space.
>Everywhere you look, you see happy faces and dancing kids. The cameras move around through the prepubescent mosh pit and capture everything they can.
>The performers and actors were on point too, improvising dances and interacting with the kids.
>Parents who enjoyed it and kids who grew up listening to it obviously enjoyed the familiar lyrics with a new swing.
>It wasn’t exactly the most –technical- song you’ve ever played, but it wasn’t about that. Power Chords existed for a reason.
>In your mind, fun was what mattered.
>You and Night Terror stand at your shared microphone and sing the chorus alongside Chrysalis as you rock the most magical street in the world.

-That night-
>”Snort! Snort! Snort! Snort!” the four of you shout.
>Eris sticks the straw to her nose, bends down, and snorts. The face she makes as the wasabi passes into her nose will be one you remember for all time.
>”OH FUCK.” She exclaims as she falls out of her seat, rolling on the floor with wasabi leaking from her nose.
>The four of you bust a gut laughing as she writhes.
>You sip your drink.
“I didn’t know you lot were all such big fans of that show.”
>”It’s been on for years, Anon.” Sombra says. “Everyone here’s seen a few episodes.”
>Chrysalis nods in affirmation. “Mhm. And it’s…nice having at least one thing out there telling kids to follow their dreams, whatever they may be.”
>”Well I’m glad you think so.”
>You turn your head and see a tall lanky man with a scruffy beard walk to your table and extend his hand.
>”Hi, I’m James.”
“…Hi James.”
>You shake his hand, he shakes the other’s hands as you sip your drink.
>”I just wanted to thank you personally for the show you put on, we really appreciated it. You made the kids happy, I like when they’re happy.”
>Oh…well…
“Sure thing, James. We were happy to be there.”
>James nods and waves as he walks off. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
>You turn back to your band. 
“Nice gu-“
>The rest of the band are all still staring at where James was with their eyes wide and jaws on the floor.
>”Holy…shit.”
>”I can’t believe he talked to us.”
>”I can’t believe the creator of the show was so nice!”
>”I can’t believe the only time I met him was when I had wasabi up my nose.”
>At this point you weren’t asking anymore questions. You just sip your drink.