=Am I Evil Bonus Track=

>Sleep…blissful sleep…
>”Anon! Anon get up!”
>Fuck your life.
>You grunt and feel someone fall on top of your ribs to jolt you awake.
“HLORF! I’M UP, I’M UP! WHERE’S THE FIRE?!”
>Eris giggles and kicks her feet dangling off the bed. “No fire! It’s today it’s today!”
>You grind the gears in your brain, trying to figure out what day it was.
>You’re not the brightest bulb so you come up with nothing.
“…It’s Sunday?”
>Eris leaps up and pushes you down to the bed again, straddling you. “It’s Hearthswarming!
“Hahn??”
>You turn your clock and examine the date at the bottom.
“Well fuck me sideways…”
>Eris rolls off your waist and bicycle kicks her legs in the air over on her side of the bed. “It’s Hearthswarming! It’s Hearthswarming! Whatdja get me??” she asks turning to face you.
>You meanwhile are still laying with no shirt, pajama pants, and morning wood.
“Did you get into the fucking sugar again?”
>”I love the holidays! Come on, come on!” she exclaims.
“But I’m tiiiiired…”
>What’s the point of being rich and successful if you can’t do what you want.
>Eris gives you the puppy dog eyes, like her eyes actually inflate to get bigger and teary-er. 
“Oh god, come on…”
>”Pleeeeaaase Anon?”
“Eris stooooop.”
>”Pweeeaaase huggy-bear?”
>You squint your eyes shut and groan, throwing your feet over the bed.
“Fine! Fine! Let’s go be festive at this hour!”
>”Yay!” Eris squeels, floating up to and latching onto your back. “Carry me!”
>You grunt.
>”I already have the video camera set up!”
>Oh…great…

>You walk with Eris on your back through the halls of your home towards wear the living room and Hearthswarming decorations are.
>But you also swerve at the last minute and go into the kitchen. Eris expresses puzzlement.
>”Huh? Wha—Anonymous, my presents are in there.
“Yeah, but my toast is in here.”
>You let her down and fish out some bread from the cabinets.
>Eris leans over the island counter and groans.
>”UUUUUUHHHHHHGGGGG THIS IS THE WORST.”
“You’re insanely old, did you never learn some patience?”
>”Clearly I didn’t!”
>You laugh once and put two good looking pieces into the toaster.
>It had been about 18 months since the Neon Knights had defeated Grogar in a rock off and your second holiday with Eris since you were “official”. Since then you and her had used your hard earned money to get a nice contemporary house on the other side of Canterlot Mountain. The privacy ensured any prying eyes were warded off and let you both blare your amps.
>The newfound fame had been good to you both, and it made your plans for the evening set in stone.
>”At this rate my presents are gonna be unopened while we’re at the concert!”
>You munch.
“The Canterlot Hearthswarming Charity Concert isn’t for another fourteen hours.”
>”AND YOU’RE TAKING THAT LONG TO EAT!”
>Eris’s eyes bug out when you hold the last piece of toast in front of your mouth but waver about putting it in.
>”We have to break up.” She says.
>You laugh and munch the toast down.
“Patience grasshopper.”
>”I’ll be patient when I’m dead. Presents now!”
>Eris grabs you by the hand and leads you into the living room.

>The red and green packaging of your gift crumples in your hand as you tear it off to reveal-
“Wow Eris…another scarf.”
>”The mountains get cold at night!”
“I know baby, but seven?”
>”Now you have one for each day of the week!” she says, clapping her hands together in excitement.
>You run that through your head and chuckle dryly, then plant one on her forehead.
“Thanks cutie, I love it.”
>Eris wraps her arms around you and purrs into your neck, you laugh and pet her hair.
“After the chocolate fountain with my face on it, I was worried you’d outdo me this year.”
>”No way, not when you do the decorating, you always make it better than Hearthswarming stuff.”
>That had some truth to it. You always liked Christmas back on earth and brought some of the Yuletide spirit with you here. You’d insisted to Eris that you get a tree that gets decorated and have some lights put up, as well as the requisite number of stars.
>”Now smile!”
>You flash the horns while Eris tilts her head sideways and does a double peace sign to the flashing red video camera. 
“Are we doing the holidays with the others too?”
>”I mean after the celebration we’ll probably be allowed to crash at the palace.”
“It’s not like we live far away.”
>”Chrysalis is always sweet on you, should we guilt her into swinging by here after?”
“I unno.”
>Eris brings her feet up and moves all the gifts you’d given one another to the side so she can rest on the couch.
“You have a good holiday, Eri?”
>”Every day is good when you’re here.”
“Pffft. Gaaaay.”
>”Totally.”
>You tilts your head back and close your eyes, sighing and taking stock of things so far.
>”How long until we have to be at the celebration?”
“Sound check is at 5 sharp.”
>”Good then we have a few hours for the last gift.”
“Wha-whoa!”
>Eris gets up from her spot next to you and straddles your waist again, kissing your lips and moving your hands to her rump. With an even motion she lifts her shirt off of her chest and tosses it over the camera.

-Later-
>The Neon Knights stand in sweaters and thermal clothing behind the curtain at the Canterlot Hearhtswarming Charity Concert.
>Lifting the curtain bottom up, you can see people stretch out from the stage through the square the concert was being held in, down the streets of the city.
>”Is watching you bend over my Christmas gift, Anonymous?”
>You redden in the cheeks under your mask a shade and stand upright.
“Careful Chrys, I’m a taken man.”
>The Changeling queen rolls her eyes and puts on her beanie and mittens. “Because that’s stopped me.”
>You walk back over to the her strumming on your guitar.
“Good holiday so far?”
>”I just got back from a jaunty skiing trip with Photo yesterday afternoon.”
“Kinky.”
>”You have no idea.”
“You know Eri wanted to extend you an invite to spend the eve or two at our place if you had nowhere else you’d rather be.”
>Chrysalis laughs her noblewoman’s laugh and boops your nose.
>”Be a good boy and I might just take you up on that~”
>You bat her hand away and head over to the others. Artemis and Sombra compare matching tattoos they got while Eris tugs her hoodie tighter.
>”Okay!” Chrysalis says. “Are we ready for some goddamn holiday cheer?”
>Sombra leaps behind the drums and gives a thumbs up while Artemis grabs an acoustic guitar.
>Huey sticks his face out. “Thirty seconds.”
“Let’s kill this.”
>Eris and you assume your positions and the curtain begins to raise just as Chrysalis assumes hers.
>The throngs of people cheer and applaud as the lights flick on and they see you, leading right into the song.

Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=751tnagDoaQ

>Artemis begins playing his guitar and you string along on a half held note. Chrysalis raises her arms to the side and closes her eyes.
>Lighters begin to pluck up from the crowd when the lights go down and she begins to sing.
>You’d brought this song from your memories of home. Your uncle and you would always play this each year when he taught you how to play guitar.
>Chrysalis wiggles her mittens and makes illusionary green snow begin to fall from the sky, which pops into sparkling fractals when Sombra starts on the skins.
>This song wasn’t the heaviest or most complex, but seasonal songs hardly ever were. Chrysalis’s second verse was identical to the first, but the message radiated across the crowd and lifted their spirits.
>A glowing green snowflake appeared above your heads, spinning slowly in the hearthfire while you blared your solo. Your hand drifts up and down the neck of your guitar while you slam the strings. Your hips gyrate and you tilt down as you transfer to the more complex second portion of it that ends with Chrysalis continuing to sing.
>You get too wrapped up in pinwheeling the power chords that Eris needs to bump her butt against yours to remind you of your place for the chorus.
>The three of you take your places at microphones and repeat the same chant over and over again. Through Chrysalis’s magic you can feel it worm its way into the crowd. It takes less than one repetition for them to repeat the chant back at you and begin swaying their lighters back and forth in time to the beat.
>Chrysalis swells her hands as the chorus continues and sends emerald lanterns floating into the sky where they pop once the song ends.
>You all step to the front of the stage to soak up the applause while Chrysalis takes the microphone.
>”I hope the new year’s a good one, everyone! Thank you!”