> Be Anon, lover of dicks and tits
> You may have found the perfect...woman? Man? Organism?
> Aria's bulge calls to you like a siren song
> You crash upon the rocks of her anger
> "For the last time, I don't have a dick! I just keep a roll of quarters in my pocket for when I want to punch someone. Like right now!"
> It's cool, you know when to back off
> You leave the laundromat
> "Hey."
> You turn around
> It's the cheese poof, you'd recognize that hair anywhere
> Specifically, the library, some of the security cameras at your job, and near your trash bin
"What's up, poof?"
> She adjusts her small laundry basket under her arm
> "You want to go out sometime? Have some coffee?"
> Eh, you're not feeling it
"Sorry, babe. If you don't got a dick, I ain't interested." 
> You turn to leave
> "Wait, I can have a dick!"
> What
> You turn around to find her stuffing some socks into her underwear
> You just stare
> She adjusts her "package" into the rough shape of a ballsack
> Poof gives you a desperate grin
> "See? Now I have a dick!"
> Okay, that's a little cute
> You walk up to her
"Let me check."
> You can see the worry in her eyes, but she keeps grinning
> You reach low and grab the crotch of her pants, squishing the socks between your fingers
> She presses her pelvis into your hand, her breathing coming a little faster
"This is pretty soft, for a dick getting a handjob."
> She makes a wordless whine, still humping your hand
> Damn
"Come on, let's go to my place."
> "Really? I mean, of course. My dick knows the way."
> She takes a few steps, then pauses
"Your dick is a pile of socks."
> Orangy turns to you, pouting
> "It's your pile of socks. I-if you want it."
> You roll your eyes and take the lead
> She happily follows behind
"So what is your name?"
> "You don't kn- um. It's Adagio. Adagio Dazzling."
"That sounds like a stripper name."
> She draws up close behind you and whispers
> "It can be if you want it to be."
> Damn, this girl is thirsty
> You make it to your door without much incident
> You kick off your shoes and turn to Adagio
> She's looking around the room like she's never seen a neat bachelor pad
> "You -live- here." She breathes
"Like you don't know that, little miss stalker."
> She blushes
> "It's just... different, actually being inside."
"Speaking of which, get over here."
> She drops her basket and skips over
> Poof can't meet your eyes
> That's fine, you aren't in it for the eyes
> You grab her crotch full of socks again, and she moans a little
"That's right, open your mouth for me."
> She obediently opens her mouth, her eyes closed in anticipation
> You lean in and seal her mouth with yours
> Your tongues wrestle and writhe, and she moans again
> With your free hand, you grab her breast through her shirt
> Adagio leans into your touch, humming with pleasure
> You break off the kiss, and she stares up at you with wondering eyes
> "This...is real."
> You start to unbutton her shorts
"That's right. Now take off your clothes."
> The poof happily complies, her jacket falling away, soon followed by her top and bra
> Meanwhile, you get her down to her purple panties stuffed full of socks
> A few fall out, no longer constrained by her shorts
> She makes a move to take off her panties, but you stop her
"We wouldn't want your dick to come off, now would we?"
> "R-right."
"Now bend over the table there, I have to prepare something."
> You shed clothes quickly on your way to the pantry
> You pull out a bottle of olive oil and return to your stalker
> She gives you a questioning look over her shoulder, shifting her weight from one leg to the other
"Trust me. Just look straight ahead."
> "Okay."
> You scoop up her tights and scrunch them up below your uncovered manhood
> Opening the bottle, you pour oil onto your dick, using the stockings to catch the drips
> Prepared thusly, you pull aside Adagio's panties, revealing her wet slit and puckered rear entrance
> You press the tip of your oiled up cock to her anus and she gasps
"Why so surprised? If you have a dick, I can only fuck you in the ass."
> "R-right. Please, ah, please f-fuck me in the a-"
> You press a little further in, her backdoor spasming around the tip of your manhood
"Relax, just let it happen, you dickgirl."
> You rub her thighs, gently thrusting against her anus
> Adagio's breathing evens out, becoming deep, long breathes
> You reach over her hip and grasp the socks still stuck in her panties
> It's... not nearly as erotic as you thought it would be
> You pause in your efforts to plunder Adagio's booty
"I have to say, this sock thing isn't really doing it for me anymore."
> "No!"
> She thrusts herself onto your shaft, her tight passage bringing waves of pleasure
"Fuck!"
> Poof wiggles her ass, and starts digging the socks out
"What do you think you're doing?"
> She stuffs her hand into her vagina, twitching at the stimulation
> "P-pretend my wrist is a c-cock."
> Worth a shot
> You grab her slender wrist and slide your hand up her forearm
> A few more pumps, and yeah, you like it
"Good idea, Poof."
> "Adagio!"
"Adagio."
> You start pumping your dick in and out of her ass, giving her arm a reach around to the same pace
> One hand is not enough for her to keep herself up
> With each thrust, her breasts drag against the kitchen table, and her cheek bunches up where her face rests
> You think you could get to like her glazed expression and the little whimpering noises she makes
> You give her ass a firm slap
> She gasps, ass tightening around your member
> You hear liquid splash onto the floor
"You like that?"
> "Mmhmm!"
"Good."
> Smack
> She shivers in delight
> You keep thrusting into her asshole, spanking her as you hilt
"You're pretty gay, for someone with a dick."
> Poof moans
> Thrust in
"Getting fucked in the ass."
> Pull back
"Getting a hand job from the guy fucking you in the ass."
> Hilt
> You take your free hand and collect some of the juices from her pussy
"I bet you'd eat your own cum."
> You bring your soaked fingers to her lips and she sucks them off greedily
> Hot damn
> You pull your fingers away and give her ass a firm strike
> Adagio shudders
> You're getting pretty close yourself
> You slide your dick back and forth slowly
"You know what I'm going to have you do when we're done here?"
> She looks at you blankly, and swallows
> "What?"
> You lean in close
"I'm going to make you put your hair in your own puddle of cum."
> Her eyes go wide, her anus tightening in dread
> That's enough to send you over the edge, pouring your seed deep inside her
> Your hips keep twitching, pulses of cum painting her insides
> Meanwhile, she's still frozen in shock
> As the last waves of orgasm leave your system, you pull out of her ass and give it a fond pat
> Adagio hesitantly removes her now pruney hand from her snatch
> "Do I really have to..."
> She looks upset
> Fuck
"No, I was just messing with you. Come on, let's take a shower."
> As you walk together, she taps you on the shoulder
> "So, was I a good dickgirl?"
> To be honest?
> You give her butt a swat
"You were great."