> ...
"Sunset, this is the little girls section. I feel distinctly uncomfortable."
> "Don't worry, as long as I'm here no one will think you are a pedophile. Now what do you think would look the cutest on Twilight's dog?"
"Her...dog?"
> "Yeah, that little lesbian is trying to seduce Rarity. She asked me for help, and I couldn't say no to such a cute little puppy."
"You do realize that Spike...is a male dog?"
> "You sure? Her voice is really high and girly."
"Yeah, I got an eyeful one time."
> "Ew. Well, if we're not getting...him, gosh that's so weird, ah, cute underwear, is there anything you want here?"
"What?"
> She starts walking towards the adult underwear area of the mall
> You follow closely behind
> "Like, want me to get you a sexy pair of panties and a bra, so you can ironically cross dress or maybe just jack off into them?"
> Sunset is always like this
> Trying to be a bro
> Can't she tell you'd rather have a sis?
> You can never paint your nails right
"N-no, I'm good."
> "Already got some then? Niiiiice. You gotta let me see them sometime, I wanna know what gets your jimmies rustled."
> Some people should not be allowed around memes
"Anyways, let's just get out of here. You hungry? I'm hungry."
> Hamburger for you, hotdog for her
> She gives you a wink
> "Guess who I am!"
> She fellates the hotdog, bun and all
> "I just can't stop sucking all of these cocks!"
> Boner, now is not the time
> You know what she's getting at
> It was a dark day when she saw you browsing 4chan on your phone
> Still, you feel obligated to get it wrong
"Rarity?"
> "Nope! Try again!"
> She rubs the hotdog against her cheek
> "Cocks are all I think about!"
> You glance around, but only the Japanese guy at the sushi counter seems to have noticed
"Pernka Po?"
> She giggles
> "I love how you get her name wrong, every time! So funny! No, I'm OP!"
> You feel a dread building in your soul
> "Because OP is a faggot!"
> Yup, there it is
> Nothing is sacred
> You didn't think anything could be sacred on 4chan, but then Sunset has a special way about her
> It'd make you angry, but your boner overrule you every time
"What an impression."
> "Yup!"
> She takes a bite and almost immediately moans
> Damn
> You try to distract yourself with your hamburger
> It's okay, for being mall food
> Your eyes are glued to her face

> Be Sunset Shimmer
> You had thought that all your sadistic tendencies, your love of power and control would be wiped away in the friendship beam
> You have learned that is not the case
> You love the way Anon squirms when you give him a boner
> The emotional pain when you ham-fistedly force memes into everyday conversation
> Sometimes you call him right before you get in a shower
> "Anon, I'm totally going to pee in the shower."
> "Anon, what sound does the beta rooster make? Cuck."
> If you're really lucky, you can hear his frustrated scream right before he hangs up
> It wasn't a sex thing before, when you were queen of the school
> Now though, you just imagine Anon squirming, or suffering through another bad joke
> Shower time is always fun
> Now what were you doing? 
> Oh yeah
> You hold out the hotdog towards Anon
"Want a bite? It's reeeaaaallly good."

> Be Anon
> She made an offer you can't refuse
> You lean forward and take a bite, your tongue caressing the teethmarks she left behind
> Are you being weird about this?
> You are being weird about this
> Still, gotta act casual
> You chew, nodding slightly
> "Looks like someone else likes to fill their mouths with wieners."
> You swallow
"Says the girl who ordered the hotdog."
> She shrugs 
> "I'm a girl, I'm allowed to like cocks."
"Whatever."
> You back to eating, Sunset following suit 
> About halfway through, you realize something
> You rotate the hamburger, switching to the uneaten side
> You lower your head and start licking the mustard from between the meat and the bun
> She falters mid-bite
> "What are you doing?"
"Eating out."
> Two can play at the pun game
> She glances around nervously
> "Come on, stop that! It's weird."
"You're blushing. Jealous of the hamburger?"
> This is surprisingly fun
> "Seriously, stop, the Japanese guy is watching."
> You look up, and meet his eyes
> You nod at him
> He nods back
"Naw, we're cool. Now if you excuse me, my tongue is scheduled for some deep sea diving."
> You pleasure that hamburger with long, deep tongue strokes
> Finally she just snatches it out of your hands
> "You can have my hotdog, I am confiscating your lunch."
> She takes a bite out of your burger
"You do realize my tongue has been all up inside there, right?"
> Her blush deepens
"Deep inside, covering the meat with my saliva."
> "Shut up."
> You take a bite out of her hotdog
"Do you have a ladyboner thinking about my tongue now?"
> Haha, there are no brakes on the teasing train!
> She won't meet your eyes
> Sunset shifts a little in her seat
> Wait
"You really do have a ladyboner?"
> Her face turns beet red
> "Sh-shut up!"
> You lean back in your chair, mind blown
> It all makes sense now
"You're actually shy? That's it, isn't it? You wanted to model lingerie, but you lost the nerve and made up some lie about thinking Spike was a girl!"
> She puts the hamburger down and glares at you
> "That's not it at all! I was just..."
> She pauses
"It's alright, Sunset, really. I like you. If you want to be my girlfriend, I'm totally on board."
> She buries her face in her hands
> She's pretty cute when she's embarrassed

> You are Sunset Shimmer and everything has gone wrong
> You are the one who is supposed to be making all the innuendo!
> He's not supposed to be erotically removing condiments from sandwiches
> Oh god, he went down on a hamburger
> And now you have some of that hamburger in your stomach
> You might be grossed out if you weren't so turned on
> There has to be a way to salvage this
> What's the bro thing to do?
"N-no homo."
> He laughs
> "Unless you are secretly a man, you just implied yes hetero."
> Abort! Abort!
"I just remembered, I have to go do something, it's been nice eating you!"
> Wait
"Eating with you! No, ugh, goodbye!"
> You grab your purse and powerwalk away

> Your name is Anon, and today was a good day
> Perhaps you'll call her tomorrow morning, right before you take a shower

> Your name is Sunset Shimmer, and everything is under control
> After sleeping on it, you realize that nothing has really changed
> Anon is Anon, and a boy, so you have the advantage
> You stand naked in your bathroom, phone in your hand
> Is your heart supposed to be beating so fast?
> Was this how it always was, and you just didn't notice?
> You push the thought from your mind
> With a decisive twitch, you hit Anon's number
> "Hello?"
> You smile involuntarily at the sound of his voice
> You can do this
"Hi Anon! I just wanted you to know how much I value our friendship."
> Yes, this is how it goes
> "That's nice of you. I value our relationship too."
> Yes, friend zone established
"So, Anon. My parents aren't home, "
> Which isn't a lie, they just happen to be ponies in another dimension
> You can hear his breath quicken at the news
> You get a little shiver of pleasure at the thought
"And I need a big, strong man to mow the lawn."
> Perfect, the old bait-and-switch
> "You know, I'm onto you now."
> Your blood runs cold, yet oddly you find your arousal growing
> "You just want my sweaty, hot bod all to yourself. I'll be right over."
"No! I mean, "
> What was the point of this call anyhow?
> He laughs and hangs up
> Crap
"I just wanted your tortured psyche."
> You set the phone by the sink, no longer feeling up for a quick shower
> Everything is just muddled inside
> Still, you should do something, you are naked
> You turn on the bath faucet, waiting for the hot water to get going
> You eye the column of water thundering into your tub
> That just might be what you need to clear your head
> You lower yourself into the shallow water
> It takes a little sliding, but you rest your legs up on the wall on either side of the faucet
> Water cascades inside you, filling you up with firm but gentle pressure
> You lay back, losing yourself in the sensation
> Unbidden, images of Anon come to your mind
> Skin glistening with sweat, muscles rippling 
> H-hard to believe he thinks you're shy
> You shove the images away
> The insistent pounding of the water makes it hard to concentrate
> The thought comes, ' He'd be gentle. '
> You can just imagine him kissing your cheek, your nose
> Your hands on his chest
> He pecks your lips, but your tongue surges into his mouth
> He pulls back in surprise and you hold your breath
> He grins
> The next kiss has you tingling all over, toes curling in-
> Wait
> Are you really fantasizing about Anon?
> You come to yourself with your hands positioned rather intimately, your hips bucking against the waterfall
> You are so close
> Fuck it
> Anon buries himself deep within you, whispering your name in worship
> You hook your ankles behind his back, your every curve pressed up against his firm masculinity
> Your heart pounds, his fevered breath ghosting across your ear
> "Sunset."
> It's a distant sound, muffled by your building climax and the limits of your imagination
> "Sunset!"
> Your body is wracked with waves of pleasure, a tributary flow to the torrent in your womanhood
> "Sunset!"
> Wait, that's not your imagination
> You hear the front door open
> "Sunset, are you alright?"
"Uh, yes, I'm fine!"
> Crap crap crap
> You turn off the faucet and stagger out of the tub
> "Oh, okay. Sorry for breaking in."
"It's-it's fine."
> You grab a towel and gain a semblance of modesty
> You step out of the bathroom, and
> "Oh."
> You turn slowly to find Anon, standing at the end of the hall, eyes wide
> You point a stern finger at him, your other hand tightly pressing the towel above your bust
"Don't even think about kissing me!"
> He holds up his hands defensively
> "Gonna be honest here. I'm not doing a lot of thinking right now, and it certainly isn't about kissing. Well, it wasn't."
> Your eyes focus on his pants
> Yep, that's a boner
> You wonder how bi-
"Stop it! Get out of my head!"
> "Okay?"
> You storm off to your bedroom to get some clothes and maybe some dignity

> Well Anon, this is not how you expected your yard work/booty call to go
> So while Sunset presumably puts on clothes, you go sit on the couch
> When she does come out, she's in jeans, maybe a shirt, but definitely a fluffy, white winter coat
> Odd
> First things first though, establishing why she asked you over
"So, do you really need me to mow the lawn, or did you want me to mow your lawn, or what?"
> She sits on the other end of the couch and puts her face in her hands
> "I don't know, okay?"
> Hmmm, this is a little serious
"Alright, how about what -were- you hoping for, back when you called me?"
> Sunset takes a deep breath and lowers her hands
> "Honestly? I wanted you to have a case of the blueballs again."
> Huh
"And where does your bathing figure into this? And why is only the back of your head wet?"
> She gingerly touches her hair, sensing the difference
> She looks you square in the eyes, daring you to doubt her next answer
> "It's a girl thing."
> Unfortunately for her, she's been your "bro" for a while, so you know a fair bit about girl things
"Cramps, huh?"
> "No! I mean, yeah, cramps. It started yesterday, that's why I had to go so suddenly."
"Isn't your period usually about two weeks from now?"
> Her face colors
> "How do you know about that?"
> You roll your eyes
"It's when you demand 'brocolates' and have me make you cinnabro tea. Now what's really going on?"
> She just sits there, fidgeting with the coat sleeves
> You wait a bit, watching her face
"Maybe wearing a winter coat in the middle of the summer isn't a great idea."
> Sunset glares at you
> "I'm fine!"
> You raise your eyebrows at that
> You do have a theory, but it's a bit of a long shot
"Is it that you thought you were a lesbian, but then you realized you are also attracted to me?"
> She stares at you blankly

> You stare at him blankly
> That is the most absurd, ridiculous,
> Halfway reasonable? Surprisingly useful explanation

> Sunset Shimmer smiles, a beautiful smile
> "That's it exactly."
> Nailed it
"I get it. You don't want to go too fast with your suddenly hetero feelings. How about we spend today like we normally do, with Super Smash Brothers catfights?"
> She grins at that
> "Promise you'll be gentle?"
"Get real. I'm going to nail you so hard with Samus."
> "You can try, but you'll be lucky if I let you get a shot off."

> It's the sixth match, and you are killing Anon with the Wii Fit Trainer
> It's not going to be like it was before, he isn't oblivious now
> Still, he thinks you want to take it slow, and there is so much you can do with that
> It's a useful lie, and you need to try it out, to see if you can still manipulate him
> Samus claps from her lowly position in the final rankings
"Hey, you will be gentle, right?"
> He gives you a smile and nudges your shoulder with his
> "I'll be what you want me to be."
> You unzip your winter coat, catching the way his eyes drift to your bosom
"Good."
> You still have him wrapped around your finger, just as his girlfriend rather than his bro
> You can live with that.