>"Hey Anon!"
>You jump in surprise at the sudden voice from the window behind you, but react quickly
>right hand slaps the underside of the monitor, turning it off, left hand hits the return to desktop hotkeys
>You look over your shoulder, sweating bullets, but it's too late
>she clearly saw the porn, as evidenced by her smug expression and slight blush
"fuck, dash! Why can't you use a door like a normal person."
>"I'm not a person? Also, you never answer the door, so it wouldn't matter if I did."
>damn, she's got you there
>You never get the door on principle, you had a rough time with solicitors and such on Earth, and no one ever actually visited you
>"Besides, if I used the door I wouldn't be able to catch you looking at weird stuff"
>She clambers in through your window, and hops up, laying her front hooves on your leg, glancing curiously at your now-dark screen
>"What was that anyway? Why are you so embarrassed about having pictures of the princesses?"
"If I show you, can you promise not to tell anyone? I'm dead serious about this, I'm gonna need you to pinkie promise me"
>"Wow, yeah. If it's that important, then I pinkie promise. Now show me, c'mon!"
>Breathing out a slow, concerned sigh you turn the screen back on and bring the image back up
>It clearly depicts the two royal sisters, hip-to-hip, dripping wet, winking, and looking back to the viewer with lusty gazes
>She looks at the image for a while, seemingly confused
>"Why do you have this, anyway? I'll admit it's kinda making me feel weird, but what's the big deal? It's just a picture of the princesses."
>Shocked, you take a moment before responding
"Dash, you aren't creeped out by me having porn of them?"
>"What's porn?"
. . .
>Several seconds pass in a heavy silence as you consider whether she's fucking with you or not, before you ask (very quietly) whether ponies masturbate to each other
>"Master bait? What, like fishing?"
"uhh...  I..."
>Wow, at this point you're certain she's not kidding
>Her cheeks are puffed up in mild frustration at all these things she doesn't get

"Dash, I'm gonna need a raincheck on answering those questions. I need to go research some stuff about ponies, and it might take a while."
>"Okay? I was supposed to come remind you to visit Twilight today, anyway. You're supposed to be doing that human culture thing with her, right?"
"Shit, I totally forgot that was today. I guess that works out, then. Just remember, you promised not to tell anyone what we talked about!"
>"Yeah, yeah. I got it, so you should probably go before Twilight starts freaking out about you being late."
>You turn your PC off and hop up, grabbing your jacket from the floor and Dash (despite her protests that she could just go back out the window), and tuck one under each arm as you head out
>Despite her huffs of frustration, you don't let Dash fly ahead to tell Twilight you're coming. You want to be sure she doesn't take off after, since this talk might need to include her.
. . .
>After arriving at Twilight's and explaining why you're carrying Dash, she shows the two of you over to a table with some snacks, drinks, and writing supplies neatly laid out on it
>You drop Dash on Twilight's side of the table and drag another cushion over for her, which she promptly flops onto, grabbing one of the sandwiches to stuff her face with
>Seating yourself opposite them, you take a deep breath before looking Twilight in the eye, carefully considering your next words
"Twilight, in some of our last discussions we talked about differences in romance between humans and ponies, right?"
>She nods her assent, before her magic gently shakes a couple of scrolls on a shelf to your left
>"Want me to get those out, if they relate to what you want to discuss?"
"No, I just want to expand the subject slightly. I'm not entirely certain about a few things, after a certain. . . incident. . ."
>You trail off slightly, eyes trailing towards Dash uncomfortably, only to find her scarfing down snacks, completely tuning out the conversation

"Twillight, do ponies masturbate?"

>She blinks, confused but curious, before asking "Is that another one of those human terms, like computer?"
>At this, you're stunned into silence, mind whirling at the idea of a race that doesn't get themselves off, before you stop to ask a clarifying question
"Twilight, masturbation is when one stimulates their reproductive organs on their own, for pleasure. Do ponies not do that?"
>She begins writing rapidly, while confessing that as far as she knows, they do not
>Her eyes light up as something begins to form in her head, before she asks: "You said before that humans don't have mating seasons, correct?"
>You nod your head, slightly confused.
>"If what you're describing is a standard human activity, meant to simulate intercourse, then I believe ponies might not do it because they only mate in set times of the year!"
>You lean back, letting out a low whistle, before taking a drink from the cup she offers you
"So if ponies don't masturbate, then I suppose pornogrophy isn't something that exists here either?"
>She tilts her head in confusion, clearly not knowing the term
"Pornogrophy is images or videos meant to excite humans sexually, to encourage arousal prior to and during masturbation"
>At this, her quill becomes a blur, and her eyes glaze over as she considers what this might entail
>Abruptly, her quill stops and she turns her head slowly between Dash and you, wheels turing in the egghead's noggin before she asks: "Did Dash see this "pornogrophy" and not know what it was either?"
"Yeah, she surprised me by coming in through my window, which resulted in her seeing it before I could hide it."
>"Hide it? Why would you do that?"
"I've mentioned before that humans cover themselves for modesty, and generally are uncomfortable with discussing sex, right? This is a similar situation, where letting others see you view such things is considered a major taboo"

>She nods, replying: "So you brought Dash with you to hear whether this was a common difference, rather than one specific to her?"
>Dash finally comes around to paying attention, after hearing her name so many times, and says: "I don't see what the big deal is, ponies might not do it, but if this is something all humans do, then it's not really that weird, right?"
>The two of you stare at her silently, before she asks: "What? It's true, isn't it? If he's the only one here who does it, then nopony else is gonna care, are they?"
>Twilight considers it for a moment, before replying: "I suppose not, though this does warrant more study."
>You jerk to attention at this, waving your hands a bit
"I don't think that's really necessary, since it's such a niche thing in this world, it'd be better if I was the only one who thought about it. We can just forget I brought it up, and finish up today with whatever other questions you had prepared for today."
>Both mares seem startled by your sudden shift in attitude, but Dash steps up, walking over to stand beside you, she leans in and smiles encouragingly
>"You don't have to be scared, Anon! I'm sure Twilight just wants to see this for her notes."
>Twilight nods, clarifying the point: "I'm really interested in the mechanics of such an act, since it's one foreign to pony culture"
>"I understand that it might be uncomfortable for you, but if you are ashamed of it, it might cause your time in Equestria to be very difficult for you"
>Dash drapes herself across your lap with a loud groan, clearly losing patience with the situation
>"Ugh, this is sooo boring! What's the big deal anyway? Just..."
>She trails off slowly, before lifting her head and glancing down at your lap with a frown, where a noticable bulge is tenting your pants, preventing her from resting her head comfortably
"Sorry, that just uhh... kinda happens if someone brushes up against it..."

>"Seriously? How do you ever get anything done if you're ready to rut /all/ the time?"
"That's kinda what the point of masurbating is, it helps keep that under control, so it's not a issue during my day"
>"If it keeps this from happening, why's it like this now?"
>Realization sudden dawns on her, before she asks: "Is this because I kept you from doing it earlier? 'Cause if that's the case, why not take care of it now?"
>You cough in surprise, the tea you were sipping sloshing out of the cup slightly, some hitting the table and your pants
>Cursing under your breath, you grab some napkins from the table to dab up the growing wetness on your pants, the motion not helping with your unceasing downstairs salute
>Dash watches silently, her eyes trained on the bobbing motion your member makes as you scrub around it
>It's at this time that you recall that her face is in extreme proximity to your junk, and you jump up in embarrassment, quickly leaving the table
>You can hear the two of them calling out to you, but you pay them no mind as you sprint out the door, heading home