>You are Anon, of Barbaria. >The walk to Sugarcube Corner is a quiet one. Nop0ny in sight as far as the eye can see. >As you approach the entrance of the bakery, you pause. >Pinkie Pie works here. >You remember what you just experienced at Rarity's… >The aftertaste still lingers on your tongue. >It would be safe to assume that Pinkie is going to be worse. >You take time to collect your thoughts before going through the door, readying yourself for the coming storm. >Don't Panic. >With those reassuring words echoing in your mind, you open wide the door. >Pastries there, and nothing more. >You walk up to the counter and ring a small call bell near the register. >You hear somep0ny approaching the counter. >As the the sound reaches the doorway to the kitchen, you throw your arms up in a defensive position, cradling your head and clenching your eyes shut. >… >"Um, Anon, what are you doing?" >Huh? >You lower your arms to see Mr. Cake standing at the register. >Phew... >Wait… >MR. Cake? >But Twilight said that all the stallions are sent away during Estrus… >Was she mistaken? >Wait again… "I came to get food, but can I use your bathroom first?" >"Uh, sure. It's right over there." >Mr. Cake looks at you, confused, then points to a door on the far side of the room. >You thank him and dash into the restroom, locking the door behind you. >You look in the mirror. >The brand had mirrored Fluttershy's cutie mark this morning, when you were alone with her. >And it had shown Rarity's after seeing her… >Was your earlier theory true? >Could it change to reflect the p0nies around you? >You hold your breath as you stretch the neck of your shirt down. >… >Three diamonds stare back at you. >Last you checked, Mr. Cake was a baker. *Sigh* >You release your new shirt's neck. >So much for that theory... >You unlock the door and return to the counter. >Mr. Cake walks back out of the kitchen and glances nervously at you. >"Are you ok, Anon?" >… >You don't know how to answer… >You break out the awkward smile. "Ye- yeah…" >The two of you stand in silence for a brief moment. Neither of you were the particularly chatty type. "I heard that you were having a sale on ice cream?" >Mr. Cake perks up at this. >"Oh yes! What flavor would you like?" >You think. >Vanilla is your favorite… >Rarity flashes across your mindscape. >Her scent… Vanilla… "Chocolate would be nice." >You hate chocolate ice cream. >Mr. Cake smiles at you. >"Coming right up!" >As he gets your cold dairy treat, you decide to get some information. "Hey, Mr. Cake?" >"Hmm? What is it, Anon?" "…" "Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here?" >He leans his head to the side. >"What do you mean?" "Twilight told me that all stallions are sent away during Estrus, but if you're here, that can't be true." >He laughs. >Oh~ that. Well, it's because I'm married." "What?" >You are about to press him further when the kitchen door is thrown open. >Reflexively, you cover your head and try to defend yourself. >… >"Um, Anon, what are you doing?" >Huh? >You lower your arms to see Mrs. Cake standing beside Mr. Cake. >Phew… >You exhale in relief. >Then you take a sharp breath as a pang rings through your chest. >Mr. Cake smiles at you and lets out a small chuckle. >"Oh, nothing dear. We were just joking with each other." >Nice cover Carrot. >"Well, sorry to interrupt you stallions." >Mrs. Cake looks at her husband. >"Dear, when you get the chance, I need your help in the kitchen." >She slaps Mr. Cake on his flank and walks out. >Mr. Cake watches his wife's flank as she leaves, biting his lip. >"Anon, when a stallion enters a relationship, his mare can 'claim' him." >"Claim?" >"Yes, it's a scent that lets other mares know that a stallion is spoken for." >Mr. Cake looks like he's having a hard time not running after his wife. He continues to stare at the kitchen door while he talks. >"Because of this, stallions who are married or in a long-standing relationship are allowed to stay at home during Estrus." >The amber earth p0ny gives you your ice cream. "Thanks…" >You still have no bits on you. "How much do I owe you?" >Mr. Cake is already blasting through the kitchen door. >"On the house, Anon!" >You'd say it was your lucky day… >But it wasn't. >As you exit the bakery, something collides with your stomach, pushing you back inside and causing you to lose your grip on the ice cream. >You fall to the ground, something heavy resting on your chest. >"Hey Anon. What are you doing?!" >Shit, so close. >You chest burns as you open your eyes, becoming aware of the mink menace shaking excitingly on top of you. "Hey Pinkie I-" *Splat* >Your ice cream lands on your face. >You wipe your eyes and see an ice cream smudge on the ceiling. >"Ohmygosh, Anon. I'msososososososososososorry!" >Pinkie leans down and begins to lick your face, cleaning some of the confectionary treat off. >"Mmm!" *Gulp* >Pinkie swallows audibly. >She speaks in a sultry voice. >"Salty~." >She assails your face with renewed vigor, slurping and sucking. >Oh God, no… >Her flat tongue laps at the sweet treat, covering you in spit. >Not again… >You struggle against Pinkie's efforts, but are held down. >"Just wait Anon, I'm al~most done." *Thump-thump* >You relax as she continues her assault. >… >But why? >… *Slurp* *Slurp* *Sluuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrp* >… *GULP* >"Ahhh~~~" >It sounds like she just came. >Pinkie sits on your chest, staring at the ceiling. >"Anon…" "Ye-Yes?" >"There's still ice cream on the ceiling…" >You blink in disbelief. >THAT is what she wants?! >Somewhere deep inside, you feel your pride crack. >You pick Pinkie Pie up and pitch her precariously at the ceiling. *Slam* >Pinkie's face sticks to the spot where the ice cream was. >Her body dangles limply, like some kind of glow worm hanging from a cave. *Pop* >Pinkie releases her suction on the ceiling. >She falls to the ground, performing several summersaults and landing on all fours. >"Ta-da!" >Confetti explodes out of nowhere and covers the room as Pinkie strikes a dramatic pose. >You just stare. >... *Beep* *Beep* >The noise causes you to glance at your phone. >10:31 AM >… >15% Battery left. >Shouldn't have played those games in an attempt to alleviate your depression last night. >Especially since it didn't help... >"Hey, Anon." >Your eyes snap back to the pink p0ny. "Yeah?" >"Are you OK? You look pretty bad… Oh no! Is it because I ate your ice cream?!" >She looks like she's about to cry. >You rush to calm her down, her tears are renowned for their plentious nature. "No, no. I just have a lot to do today is all." >You let out an exasperated sigh. "And I need to go see Twilight again, but…" >"But what?" >She stares intently at you. "She told me to stay away while she's… you know..." >Her head tilts quizzically to the side. "In Estrus." >Pinkie giggles. >"Oh right, I almost forgot! That is this week!" >Almost forgo- "Are you not-?" >"N~ope!" >She strikes another pose. >"My cycle isn't until next week!" >There's some kind of bizarre shuffle dancing going on in front of you. >Because Pinkie. >... "I'm done." >You walk to the door. >Pinkie follows talking about pickles and trying to draw stuff for you. >Before you exit she shoves a piece of paper into your face. >A lone "O" is displayed in the center. "I- I don't-" >She draws a slash through the "O" at an angle. >A Zero, maybe? "…" "I don't understand, Pinkie. I'm sure someone will, but I just don't get it." >With that you're bound for the library. >You arrive at the library a few minutes later. >You reach up to knock on the door, but stop yourself. >Will she be mad? >Was it just an emotional episode, or something more… >You knock on the door. >… >No answer. >You knock harder. "Twilight! Are you home?" >… >Still nothing. >You ready your fist for another round of knocking, but are halted by the sudden appearance of a blue pegasus. >"What's cookin', good lookin'?" "Rainbow…" >This pain in your chest… >Again? >Dash grins at you. >"Aren't you supposed to be helping AJ? She's going to tear you a new one!" "Right…" >You take one last longing look at the library, then leave. >Rainbow accompanies you on the trek to the farm. >Though you are talking, you pay little attention to what is said. >That pain has afflicted you whenever you were alone with another p0ny… >No… >MR. Cake didn't give you that pang. >… >But MRS. Cake did. >Could it be… "Mares?" >"What's that, Anon?" >Rainbow Dash hovers in front of you, staring into your eyes. >The smell of fresh rain washes over you. "Nothing, sorry." >You end your internal queries, choosing to converse with Dash for the rest of the journey. >"TWO CELESTIA DARN DAYS!" >Applejack was not happy about you being late again. >"IS IT SO HARD TO GET HERE ON TIME?!" >Not happy at all. "I'm sorry, Applejack. I've had a rough morning…" >"Well so have Ah." >She jabs your stomach, knocking the wind out of you. >"Ah have th' entire south orchard ta buck before next week. If Ah had your attitude, Sweet Apple Acres 'd be bankrupt quicker than a timber wolf chasing a little filly." >She stares you down. >You avert your eyes and smile awkwardly. "I- I'll just get to work." >"Yes ya will, and ya WON'T come back up from that there room till Ah say you can." *Thump-thump* >You have a sinking feeling that today is only going to get worse. >"Hey AJ, got a sec?" >Rainbow Dash talks to Applejack as you head to the cellar. >As you descend the stairs, you hear AJ shout. >"That prissy p0ny said she did WHAT?!" >You can't hear the rest as you close the cellar doors and head to the small office. >Your phone displays the time. >11:15 AM >To preserve power, you decide to shut off your phone for the time being. >You sigh as you sit down and begin to work.