> be anon
> be mayor mare's assistant 
> it's been a long few years, definitely worthy of reflection
> you came to equestria in a portal or somefuck on some rainy day while hiking in the alps 
> probably
> lucky for you, your skills working with a leasing firm in sunny nyc as an accountant bode well for your equestrian career prospects
> specifically, it appealed to one mayor mare, mayor of ponyville 
> honestly, it was a desirable set of skills for more than one business, mostly because ponies seemed to only know how to do one specific job for some reason and rarely hired other help unless it was specific enough for them to actually be of help
> someone with such a diverse and marketable skillset, like yourself, was in high demand even in the quiet little hamlet 
> but that was years ago, and you had seen a lot in your time here 
> managing a town was obviously not easy work, especially when shit was going down every motherfucking tuesday like nobody's business 
> hungry parasite infestation 
> dragons 
> bug horses 
> runaway storm systems being chased after by weather ponies 
> it was all a little much, and keeping track of the finances involved with repairing the town every other day wasn't anything you ever expected to have to deal with in your line of work
> ideally, you'd settle down in some comfy office-space and find some cute, quiet girl to make incredibly uncomfortable and awkwardly invite to lunch on your day off that would absolutely end in you being turned down
> the good life, you know
> but things aren't always so simple, and now you work for a talking horse whose name is also her title 
> "Anonymous? Are you in here, dear?" 
> speak of the devil
> you quickly shuffle the stack of papers in front of you to look busy - some floor plans for a new thatch-roof cottage somewhere on the outskirts of ponyville
> everything is a thatch-roof cottage here
> it wasn't really necessary, though, because she ends up pushing the papers off of your desk anyways and slams a fresh stack of papers in front of you that you hadn't seen on her when she walked in
> how the fuck did she even carry this
> "Anonymous, I need you to get started on this right away - formal requests passed along from the city council that need my signature."
> you stare her down
"Right... If they need your signature, why are you handing them off to me?" 
> She giggles like a little schoolgirl and rolls her eyes
> "Oh, anon! That's what I like about you: you've always got to get to the bottom of things. You'll understand why I'm passing this on to you when you take a look through the first few. I'll leave you to it!" 
> as quickly as she came, the tan mare ducks into the hallway with a little wave and a flick of her tail, her hoofsteps trailing off down in the direction of her office
> curious, you skim over the stack, taking a couple sheets from the top and laying them out in front of you
> 'formal request for an extra hour of sunlight at the end of the afternoon for faster crop growth'
> 'formal request for an alcoholic bar to open in the middle of ponyville' 
> 'formal request for fluttershy to get rid of her animals - stinking up the entire town'
> the last one gets a smile out of you, but you quickly realize just how mundane all of this shit is 
> are these really the most pressing issues here in ponyville? 
> you guess that colorful cartoon horses probably don't have any real concerns or problems here (besides the randomly generated doomsday events and all) so this is probably the majority of what usually floods town hall 
> a quick leaf through the rest of the stack confirms your suspicions: it's more of the same kind of bullshit 
> it occurs to you that, amid the stack, the mayor left a stamp and ink pad bearing her cutie mark for you to use at your discretion as you decide what needs to and doesn't need to be approved 
> it's not really in your job description, but you figure she's got a lot on her plate already 
> well, better not keep her waiting 

> it takes the better part of the afternoon, but soon a stack of marked documents rests in your hands and you're lightly tapping at the mayor's office door with your foot 
> to your surprise, the mayor immediately opens the door and, after glancing you over and seeing the stack of papers in your hands, she snatches it from your hands and hands you another stack 
> "Just in time, anonymous! Here, take these as well - I'm sure you already know what to do!" 
> she slams the door closed in your face and you're left standing there, just as confused as you were when she first dropped the monstrous pile of paper on your desk earlier that day
> the rest of the day continues similarly, with you performing these busywork tasks you're not exactly qualified to oversee and her piling more onto your plate before you can even take a lunch break
> at this point, you're starting to suspect that she's just trying to distract you or something; the mayor has seemed a little dodgy lately for some reason, but you haven't had the opportunity to question her about it yet
> by the fifth or sixth stack of bullshit, you're starting to get a little annoyed 
> does she think you can't handle actual paperwork or something? you thought you were past that kind of thing considering how long you've been working in town hall, directly under the mayor herself 
> in your frustrated internal ramblings, you failed to notice mayor mare sneak into the room, a massive grin on her face
> "Anonymous? Are you busy, by chance? I've got something really special for you to work on next." 
> you roll your eyes, barely biting back some kind of remark that'd likely have you jobless next week
"...Not at all, Mayor. What's up?" 
> for the first time, the mayor seems to be at a loss for words
> she shuffles nervously in place, kneading the floorboards below with a forehoof and turning her head to her side, her lips pursed in thought 
> her graying mane falls over her cerulean eyes and she finally looks at you after a few more moments of awkwardness 
> "It's... a secret! Yes, that's right - a secret. You'll just have to come with me and see for yourself, Anonymous!" 
> at this point you're totally floored 
> if this is some sort of weird pony thing, you're definitely not on the uptake 
> you stuff your hands into your trouser pockets and stand from your desk, relishing the relief your posterior feels after hours in your shitty pony-sized desk chair 
> you see a formal request being submitted to the city counsel in your future 
"All right. Lead the way, Mayor." 
> you see a bright and cheery smile spreading over a cherry-red blush and can't help but wonder what's got this mare riled so much 

> a short while later, you're both standing in front of her office
> you tried to open the door for her, but she quickly swatted your hoof away and took a stance in front of the door
> "Actually, could you wait here a moment? I just remembered that there's something I have to do before I can show you!"
> you raise a brow
"Uh, sure? I guess I'll just stand here then." 
> she nods her head affirmatively and rushes inside, slamming the door behind her
> a variety of cartoonish noises sound off in the room, including a few horse-y sounding nickers and whinnies 
> the mayor appears again, a few bits of confetti dotting her mane and tan colored coat, adding to your confusion immensely 
> "Right! Well, let's not keep you waiting. Go on, I'll be right behind you."
> she waves you into the office, door still flush against its frame and the rest of the wall
> you're a little curious, but the onslaught of tedious signature-forging this afternoon left you a little drained and you can't help but deflate a little more at the prospect of doing more of it
> as you turn the handle and open the heavy wooden door, you're shoved aside as Mayor Mare rushes past you and rears up on her hind legs 
> you suddenly realize it
> it's your birthday today

> "Surprise! Happy birthday, Anonymous!"
> an interesting sight lay before you in the room, both explaining her insistence on keeping you busy for the day and also forcing you to admire just how much work she'd done herself 
> the room, an impressively sized office space for just one pony, had been transformed into a little one-person party room 
> streamers lined the ceiling, a giant 'happy birthday!' banner was draped across the back wall and the mayor's desk was covered in a purple sheet, a small pink cake and a bowl of punch settled on top 
> there were balloons and other birthday party standards littered about the room, which made it feel a little smaller than it usually did 
> it wasn't your first time in here, after all
> you're speechless, but in a good way - you had completely forgot it was your birthday
> actually, you forgot that you even mentioned it to her in the first place, and that she bothered to remember such a seemingly insignificant detail about her strange alien employee 
> the mayor trots up to you and blows a party horn in your face, a massive smile plastered on her face
> "Anonymous, I just wanted to thank you for all the years of dutiful, hard work under this roof. I know that I can be a little overbearing sometimes, and push a little bit more than you can handle on your plate, but you've taken it all in stride and I can't begin to tell you how impressed I am and how appreciated you are here in Ponyville!" 
> she blows the horn again and hands you a party hat before trotting over to the punch bowl, no doubt to pour herself some of the drink 
> as you struggle to fit the hat designed for small pony heads over your thick dome, you take a glance around 
> "Not to sound ungrateful, but did you invite anyone else? Seems kind of... barren for a party." 
> the mayor, having poured herself a cup of punch and was beginning to take little sips of the drink, spat the purple liquid out and avoided your questioning gaze as best she could 
> "Ah! W-well, that's a... perfectly good question. That's what I like about you, Anonymous!" She wipes her mouth with a napkin and places her cup of punch back down on the desk before trotting over to the opposite side of the room, where a single wrapped gift is tucked away against the wall 
> "Hew, comom gwadith foe meh!" 
> you assume she means to give the gift to you so you take a few steps in her direction and kneel down, taking the gift from her mouth and looking it over
> there's a bit of saliva on the wrapping but it's packaged pretty well - an impressive feat for someone with four hooves
> it's not very large, or very heavy, but it's still a present and you make a point not to seem disappointed with presents no matter what they end up being
> even if they're socks
> god you hope they aren't socks
> you consider giving it a playful little shake but considering it's obviously a fucking book or something it'd make you look pretty stupid so you decide to just tear it open and 
"...?"
> it's a hand receipt taped to a birthday card of some kind 
> you gently tear it from the tape and inspect the text on the receipt while ignoring Mayor Mare's loaded smile beneath you, only slightly twinged with the beginnings of a nervous breakdown
"Mayor, is this...?"
> she nods her head vigorously, still a little anxious despite your neutral tone 
> "I've taken the liberty of jotting down all of your little suggestions you've made throughout the years - including the request for a human-sized desk and chair, among other things. I know that you're aware how tight our budget is here in Town Hall considering all the repairs we've had to pay for directly out of the treasury and my own pockets, but I know you've earned it, Anonymous."
> again, you're left relatively speechless
"Wow, I really don't know what to say, Mayor. I really appreciate it."
> the card catches your attention, however, and you quickly flip it open, expecting some cheesy birthday message hastily scrawled across the card's stock text in ink
> you're surprised to see that it's a another hand (hoof?) receipt, except it's for something else entirely - a restaurant by the looks of it
> again, you're seeing the cute, embarrassed side of your employer and it fascinates/confuses you greatly 
"What's this?" 
> Mayor Mare looks you in the eye and, after a few moments of hesitation, she speaks up
> "This may be a little forward, but, I've also noticed a few other things about you. You're very handsome, Anonymous, even for a... well, a human..."
> she trails off awkwardly before clearing her throat and starting again
> "That being said, I'd like to take you to a favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant of mine on the other side of Ponyville tomorrow, if you're interested?" 
> she cautiously met your gaze with her own and it seemed to you like she'd bolt no matter what you said
> did your boss just... ask you out? on a date? and call you handsome? 
> it was something that hadn't crossed your mind yet despite how long you'd been without any kind of meaningful interaction with the opposite sex
> while it was true that equestria's pony population was predominately female, you'd yet to really think about ponies being suitable partners in any kind of way
> they were almost like children in your eyes
> but there was definitely something to be said about the mayor, now that you were being put on the spot 
> her mature confidence and competence as both a respected figure of authority in town and as a knowledgeable adult woman (mare, you guess) gave her a sort of charm that no one else in town really gave off 
> she was definitely the pick of the litter, so to speak
> you fiddle with the receipt in your hands and clear your throat
"You know, I never really bothered to go out with coworkers, especially my boss, at any point when I was back on earth. I guess it was just some sort of rule of mine to avoid drama?"
> you see her ears begin to droop and her smile falters ever so slightly so you continue without any especially long pauses
"-that being said, I can't say I don't regret it at all. There were a lot of things I missed out on back on earth and I sort of feel like I've been given a second chance here in Equestria... or something. I think I'll take you up on that offer, Mayor."
> she immediately brightens up and nearly hugs you, or you think she's about to, but she simply straightens her little collar-plume and pushes her mane out of her face 
> "Great! You can take the day off tomorrow, and I'll see you here at sunset, then!"
> you nod and begin to say something but Mayor Mare quickly pushes you out of the room, her hoof on the door
> "By the way, I'd like you to call me 'Mare' from now on, if you don't mind."
> for something so mundane, it fills you with a little excitement to be on... last name terms with the mayor 
> this could be the start of something really special 
"I'll see you tomorrow then, Mare."
> her eyes widen - clearly she hadn't expected you to call her that immediately 
> "R-right! Off you go then, Anonymous - I've got some cleaning up to do!" 
> you stroll off down the hall, a little pep in your step, though something does weigh heavily in the back of your mind
"I never even got any cake..."