Clickity clack clickity clack... tap tap tap... click... click... >And with that the deed was done. >You hoped it was enough. >Just a moment a while ago your friend got off for the night. >Or at least she though she did. >She had apparently left her computer on. >It wasn't too uncommon for her to do that. >It is thanks to that habit that you know where to send the gift. >You had heard her mention her address when she was either ordering something or needed something fixed. >But this today you heard her crying. >You have no idea why but she sounded absolutely devastated. >A while before she mentioned she really wanted to buy a venus fly trap but couldn't afford it. >Hopefully it get's there tomorrow. >What to do now though? >No particularly interesting threads on any part of ponechan today. >A bit too tired to play anything at the moment. >Don't really feel like working on any of your projects either. >Maybe you'll just go to sleep. >You crawl onto your fold up couch. >You should really fold it out into a bed but it was always such a pain in the ass. >You'll probably get around to it when your back starts to hurt like it usually ends up doing. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK >Who could that be? >You didn't order any food today... >You look out the peep hole. >It's a stallion, and he doesn't seem to have food. >You unlock all the locks and open the door a bit and stick your head out. >"H-hello?" >"Hey, Cipher right?" >WHO THE FUCK IS HE?! >HOW DOES HE NOW YOUR NAME?! >OH CELESTIA! >HE'S ONE OF THOSE GLOW IN THE DARK MOTHER FUCKERS! >THIS IS HOW IT ENDS! >I got some of your mail today in my mailbox today. >Oh... >He's just a neighbor. >He gives you some junk mail addressed to you. >Not sure why he thought you would care about that. >"Th-thanks" >Just a "Thanks" and not a "Thank you"? now he's gonna think you hate him. >Damnit why do you have to over think this shit? >Wait why is he still standing there? >"That's not the only reason I came here..." >What other reason could he possibly have for coming here? >Hopefully you didn't fuck something up. >"Some of the other tenants and I are having a Hearths Warming party tomorrow night." >Oh, he just came to warn you about the noise, that's perfectly- >"And I came here to invite you!" >Invite... me? to a party?! >"I'm not sure if you have anything already planned for tomorrow, but if you can make it we'd be glad to have you!" >This would have been much easier if he had just come to kill you. >"I'll uh... see what I can do..." you say, shrinking back behind the door a bit. >"Well we hope you can make it! if you are able it's down in apartment 36, and it should be starting around 7 or so." >"G-great" This conversation has gone on longer then you're comfortable with. >"Hope to see you there!" he says before going down the hall. >You swiftly shut the door, press you back against it and slide down onto the floor. >A party? >You? >Well... you don't have to go. >But you were invited to... >It's not like you're doing anything special that night. >But that means socializing, and you're terrible at that. >What are you going to even talk about? Compilers? switch statements? calls to sub routines? >You are one boring pony. >Well you have until tomorrow night to figure out what to talk about, or decide whether to not to actually go. >You do something nice for somepony else and this is how the universe thanks you. >No good deed goes unpunished you guess. >Maybe you should go to sleep and gather your thoughts when you wake up. >You return to your fold up couch and lay down. >You awake probably 10 hours later, but still lay on that couch. >Gazing at the ceiling thinking about your options. >Maybe you shouldn't go... >It's probably better they don't get to know you and realize what a weirdo you are. >On the other hand, there is probably free food, and it's probably better then what you've been eating most of the time... >The prospect of fancy food is pretty enticing. >Fuck it. >It will be probably be better then spending your night blowing your baby batter into tissues like usual. >Damnit, that means taking a shower... >Just some time to think about what to talk about you guess... and maybe some other things... >You go to the bathroom and get in the shower. >That grey-green spot has gotten bigger... >Whatever, you have more pressing matters at hoof. >You soap yourself up and start scrubbing. >While doing so you remember that mare who was in front of you at the convenience store with the piercings... >Well why not? >Maybe it'll keep you from popping a boner at the party, at least for a while anyway. >Afterwards you turn off the water and shake yourself off before stepping out. >You stepo out of the bathroom and look at the clock. >5:53 PM >Shit, seems your shower thoughts took longer then you thought. >You still have about an hour... >You still don't have idea what to talk about... >Guess you'll just have to wing it. >Just gotta remember not to drop any Z bombs. >As long as you don't do that, you should hopefully be fine. >With much better things to do you instead decide to browse ponechan a bit instead of using your time wisely to think up things to talk about. >You look at the time. >6:48 >Better get going... >With a deep breath you step out into the hallway and head towards the stairs. >The elevator works perfectly fine but you're trying to buy some time. >Well, here you are... apartment 36. >You can hear lots talking from inside. >This is going to be rough. >Another heavy sigh. >You knock on the door. >The pony who invited answers the door. >"Cipher! you made it!" >"Hey..." >Uhh... >YOU FORGOT HIS NAME?! >Wait... did he even tell you his name? >You freeze up >Off to great start already >"Sunny! Where are the extra cups?" >He looks back at a pink mare with blue hair. >"Oh, hello there." She approaches you you. >"Hey, Candy! this is Cipher, he lives on your floor." >She shakes your hoof. >Oh shit, a mare touched you. >"It's nice to meet you!" She says. >"It-it's n-nice to meet you t-too" >Probably a good thing you took a long shower. >Popping a boner over a hoofshake would make for a terrible first impression. >"Come on in, come on in!" Sunny says as he ushers you in. >"There is food over on that table there" Candy point over to a large table covered in various snacks and drinks. >"Now if you'll excuse me, Sunny and I need to find the cups." She turns around and heads to what you guess is the kitchen with Sunny. >Now it's just you and a bunch of ponies in a stranger's living room. >You carefully make your way to the food. >Lots to choose from. >As you decide what to snack on something bumps into you. >A very pink mare has backed into you. >Oh sweet Celestia, another mare touched you. >This time with her butt. >You touched a mares butt! >Uh oh. >A twitch. >"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry!" >That voice sounds familiar... >As she turned to face you catch a glimpse of her cutie mark. >Balloons. >It couldn't be... >You look at the mares face. >It looks like her... >But her mane is different... >It's flattened out, not wild and curly. >The resemblance and cutie mark are pretty uncanny though. >"Hi! I'm Pi- Party Favor!" She says. >"H-hey, I'm C-Cipher" >"It's so nice to meet you Cipher! Are you having a good time?" >"Um, y-yeah! A great time!" You did get to touch a mares butt, so it is going pretty well. >"Ooooh! what do we have here?!" she looks at the table of goodies and get distracted picking out things to eat. >You can't believe you thought Pinkie Pie would be here. >Could you imagine? >Touching Pinkie Pie's butt? >How soft and warm it would be as you... >WAIT >NO >STAHP >You quickly grab a plate and start focusing on the food on the table. >There was quite a bit to choose from. >Baked goods, fancy crackers and cheeses and veggie platters. >A lot of choices to distract you from boner thoughts. >"Hello there!" >You turn to see a burly blue stallion holding out his hoof. >"H-hi" You say as you reach out to meet his hoof. >Upon contact he starts violently shaking it as he introduces himself. >"Rusty Wrench! Plumber by trade" >"Oh... n-neat." he's going to tear your arm off at this rate. >"How about you?" >How about I wha- OH >"Cipher, I'm a uhhh... programmer" >"Really?" he finally lets go of your hoof. >"What do you program?" He seems genuinely interested. >"Uhh... well, a lot of scripts automate various tasks to allow ponies to focus on more important tasks that can't or shouldn't be automated." >"Huh, that sounds pretty fancy" >Those kinda of things were pretty basic, but you suppose that would sound pretty fancy if you had no knowledge of programming. >"Oh hey, is that hummus?" >He moves past you and starts plopping some dollops of Hummus on a plate while striking up a conversation with Party Favor. >Whew... >All this excitement has got your bladder worked up. >You go in search of the bathroom. >Fortunately you don't need to ask anyone where it is. >You go in and lock the door and turn the handle to be absolutely sure it's locked. >As you start relieving yourself you notice Sunny's choice of bathroom reading. >Neighshonal Geographic. >Huh... Wonder if he's got any with Zeeb titties? >After you finish you take a look. >Oh yeah he does... >OH CELESTIA DAMNIT! >It's fine, a little chub, but nothing that won't go down in a bit. >You put the magazine back and flush the toilet. >Huh... >Isn't the water supposed to go down? >You flush it again. >Uhhh... >Uh oh... >It's rising really fast. >SHIT >PANIC TIME >You find the plunger and start pumping. >Nothing. >How did this happen?! >All did was take a piss! >Wait... Rusty! >You step out of the bathroom and bump into Sunny. >"Hey Cipher! having a good time?" >Not at this moment. >"Umm, the uhh... the bathroom... umm... I uhh..." It's kinda hard to admit to your host you may have flooded his bathroom. >He look's confused. >He looks into the bathroom. >"OH DAMNIT!" >That's it, he hates you now. >You fucked up his nice bathroom. >And now everypony is going to know you as the guy who ruined the Hearths Warming party. >Your face is burning up. >Rusty comes over and looks inside. >"I told him that pipe was still fucked up from last year! Shoulda just taken care of it myself." >What? >It wasn't your fault? >Oh thank Celestia! >"Crap, we're gonna have to end the party early..." >It just keeps getting better! >"Everpony! could I get your attention!?" >Everypony turns to Sunny as he explains the situation. >"If some of you could stick around and help clean up that would be great!" >Your first instinct is to say "Fuck that" and sneak out. >But >They did invite you and you did have a nice time... >You could help out, if just for a little bit >You help by piling towels in front of the bathroom door to help soak up the flood from the toilet. >Rusty apparently went to the root of the problem in the basement, swearing the whole way out. >Afterwards Candy gives you a wrapped plate >"A little something for you to snack on when you get home" she says. >"Th-thank you." That was really nice, especially since you didn't actually get to eat anything. >"Oh and here." Sunny gives you a brightly colored bag. >"Just a little Hearths Warming present." >You grab it by the handle with your mouth. >"Shank yoush" >"See ya later! Don't be stranger now!" Sunny says as you head out. >You wave to him as you leave. >That was awfully nice of him. >Upon returning home you set the plate down on the counter and drop the bag gently on the floor and look inside. >A fancy cheese, cracker and mustard box alongside a a festive coffee mug. >This whole thing went a lot better then it probably should have. >You didn't make a huge ass of yourself and kinda made some... acquaintances. >Probably a bit too early to call them friends just yet. >And now that you're in the privacy of your own home... >You can resume that thought about Pinkie Pie's soft round ass. END