"I can't tell you how sorry I am, my little pony. I let my anger get the better of me and because of that you were injured."
>Sergeant Hoplite squirmed in his hospital bed as you used your magic to push his blanket over him, making sure to tuck in the ends so that he'd be nice and snug
>You felt horrible
>More than horrible actually
>You had let your anger get the better of you and you had knocked one of your own sworn guards out in your rage
>He had sworn to protect you with his life, he suffered through the rigors of his training and he had fought your enemies valiantly 
>And because of that... BUTT you had accidently blown his eardrums out and sent him to the castle's ward
>If Anonymous wasn't there, and if he wouldn't have set you off like he did NONE of that would have happened!
>...Where the buck did he get off acting like he did anyway?
>You had graciously offered him asylum, you made sure that he was clothed and fed, and how does he repay you?
>You looked you right in the eye and THANKED YOU
>Puff
>And the most forced, underhooved thank you you had ever heard in your entire life!
>Ponies didn't smile when thanking somepony!
>Their eyes didn't shine and sparkle like a flawless gem!
>And they most certainly didn't seem completely at ease with you, making you want to run over to them so you could hug and or maybe smell their hair while they weren't looking!
>GRRRRRRRR!
>You hate that BUTT SO MUCH!!!!
>Him and his nice smelling hair!!!
>Though anger does it's best to take your mind off of the task at hoof you brush the emotion away
>You could punish Anonymous for his transgressions later
>Right now you had to make everything right with a stallion that may as well have been one of your kids
>Walking over to Hoplite's bedside you leaned down and nuzzled his cheek
"Now, I know that the doctor said that you were fine but I want you to take a few days off to be better safe than sorry."
>Using one of your wings you brush a stray bit of hair out of his face
"And after you feel well enough I want you to go to your commanding officer. He'll have some words with you."
>Though giving your little pony a pay raise and a little vacation doesn't make you feel any better about this situation you hoped that it would somewhat make it up to him
>You could REALLY make it up to young Hoplite here when his birthday came around
>He might be getting that bouncy castle that he's been talking about for months...
>You couldn't help but smile at the thought as the Sergeant looked up at you with a weak smile
>"You really don't need to do all of this, your highness," he mumbled, wiggling under his sheets
>Aw
>You could just pinch his cheek!
"I might not have to do it, my little pony, but I'm going to do it anyway," you tell the colt, nuzzling his cheek one more time before stepping away
>Your horn sparked to life and the lamp on the nightstand shut off, casting the room in darkness
>You cast another spell and with a pop a night light appeared by your head
>Poor Hoplite was afraid of the dark and though you had replaced the regular hospital bed with a much nicer one you figured that this would help him drift off onto your sister's realm with ease
"Now, make sure to get some rest. I'll make sure to check up on you in the morning."
>Hoplite nodded with a yawn, snuggling under his covers
>"Yes, your highness. Thank you, your highness."
>His eyes closed as you tip-toed out of the room and quietly shut the door behind you
>The Poor dear must have been exhausted after the day that he had...
>"So did you give'em a big ol' kiss goodnight, sis?"
>Your eyes widened in surprise when you spot your dearest sister waiting for you outside Hoplite's door
>...Why was she leaning on the wall like that?
"Oh, hello Luna," you say with a smile, walking over and nuzzling her. "Did something happen? I thought that you were supposed to be at the Night Court now."
>Your sister turned around and nudged her head down the hall before she began walking
>Raising an eyebrow you followed
>Why hadn't she said anything?
>Was there something wrong?
>Had somepony been mean to your sister?!
>It was one of those nobles wasn't it?!?!
>"I called the Night Court off tonight, sis."
>Your eyes widen slightly and you find your paced quickening just a hair
>YOU KNEW IT!
>OHHHH! SOMEPONY WAS GOING TO GET A TALKING TO IN THE MORNING!
"Are you having trouble with the Court again, Luna?" you asked concerned. "Because if you--"
>"No, no; nothing's wrong with the Night Court, Cel," Luna said with a wave of the wing. "I just wanted to take the day off and spend some time with my big sister!"
>Really?
>...Thank goodness...
>A smile once again makes its way onto your face
>You were about to yell your sister that you'd be happy to spend a little time with her but then your mouth shuts
>You remember that it's Luna that's talking
>The sister that makes a... PASS at you at least once a day
>And you most certainly weren't okay with spending THAT kind of quality time with her
"...If spending some time with me is your way of suggesting something naughty then I'll have to decline."
>Your sister giggled, looking over her shoulder with a lewd smile
>"Are you sure about that, sister mine?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at you. "I've been working on this cock-growing spell that I'm SURE you'll really appreciate..."
>You flinched, a blush coming to your face
"I swear by the sun that something's wrong with you, Luna," you say, batting her wing-- which was trying to tickle your chest-- away with your own
>"Hey, I've always wanted to mount a mare that was bigger than me. I don't see anything wrong with that."
"I'M YOUR SISTER!"
>Slowing down until the two of your were walking side-by-side, Luna bumped your rump with her's
>"Give me twenty minutes and me being your sister will be the LAST thing on your mind~"
>Ew
>EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!
>YOUDON'TWANTANYOFTHESEIMAGESINYOURHEAD
>THEY'REDIRTY!REALLYDIRTY!
>Swallowing the bile in your throat, you look at you little sister disapprovingly
>And you mean REALLY lay on the disapproval
>She just chuckles, nudging you again
>"I'm just kidding, Cel," she said with a teasing grin. "I really do just want to spend some time with you. Maybe we could sit outside in the garden and enjoy some tea for a little while until you have to go to sleep?"
>You eye your sister, looking for any signs of mischief, but it honestly looked like she was being genuine
"...If that's all we're going to do then I'd be delighted," you say, your smile returning
>"Well, if you'd want to--"
"Moon. I swear MOON."
>You shake your head as Luna breaks into another fit of giggles
>While you were a BIT suspicious that your beloved sister would want to spend some time with you that suspicion Tripled when you saw that a table was already set up outside
>With tea and cakes and everything
>That meant that Luna had PREPARED this beforehoof
>And she NEVER prepared for anything
>AND she made tea
>She HATED tea
>You knew your sister
>She wanted to butter you up for something
>You could just FEEL it in your bones
>"You alright there, sis?"
>Blinking, you look across the table and see that Luna had already sat down 
>Your nose scrunches up slightly
>What to do, what to do?
>Should you just ask her what she wanted so that the two of you could enjoy the night together?
>Or did you let Luna take this in whatever direction she wanted so that she could ask in her own time?
>...
>Buck it
>You were asking her
"What do you want, Luna?" you bluntly asked, sitting yourself down as Luna poured the two of you some tea
>"I have no idea what you're talking about, Celestia," Luna said with a dainty sniff. "I just wanted to sit out here and have tea with you."
>Horse apples
"Horse apples. Now why don't you just tell me what you want or what's on your mind."
>Please don't let it be about having a national orgy day
>Anything but that please!
>You knew you'd lose it if she tried to bring it up again
>YOU KNEW!
>Luna sighed and took a sip of her tea
>"...What gave it away? Was it the tea?"
>Making a face she poured the tea out onto the grass and magicked a big cup of what you assumed was coffee
>You couldn't help but giggle as she took a big gulp of her probably molten hot drink and started to swirl it around in her mouth, no doubt trying to get rid of the tea taste
"Well we both know how much you hate tea," you say, taking a sip of your tea
>Hmmm
>Earl Grey
>That's the stuff right there
>It's good for the soul
>"You could have at least let me get into the buttering up a bit," your sister said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I had this whole thing set up..."
>You lean back and cross your hooves
"Well you don't anymore, sister mine. Now tell me what's bothering you."
>If it's national orgy day you're gonna lose it
>You're gonna lose it SO hard
>Luna's nose scrunches up
>"Alright... fine."
>She leans forward
>"We need to talk about you bothering my little human, sister."
>It takes a few seconds for you to register what your dearest sister had said but when you did you weren't too happy about it
>The anger that had been brewing in your stomach since this morning started to once again resurface
>In your mind's eye you could see that... BUTT
>That dumb smile on his face
>His funny looking clothes 
>His weird grabby bits!
>HISWEIRDGRABBYBITS
>YOUKNEWTHEYWERECALLEDHANDSBUTBUCKIT
>BUCKIT!!!!
>A snort escaped you as your eyes narrowed
"Yes, I believe that you're right, Luna," you said, a hint of anger in your voice. "I do believe that the two of us need to discuss what needs to be done about that... Ne'er-do-well."
>You could feel your body start to get warm with righteous fury and your wings started to twitch
>In fact if you weren't such a calm and collected mare you might have flipped this table in your quickly building rage
>Though you were sure that Luna could see the anger on your face your little sister barely blinked
>"Come on, Cell, there's no need to get huffy like that. You know that Anon--"
"I will NOT have that menace's name said in my presence, Luna," you snap, slamming a hoof on the table. "That human is a terror! A nuisance! A... A... BUTT!"
>Your breath started to quicken as your sister just stared at you, her eyes narrowing
>You didn't like that contemplative look on her face but you weren't in the state to call her out on it
"I tried to be the kind and loving ruler! I tried to offer a hoof in peace by letting... HIM stay in our castle, even though I was against it--"
>"I recall you insisting that Anon stay in the castle, Sister, even after everypony, Anon included, asked that you let him stay in Ponyville with your student."
>SHE SAID HIS NAME AGAIN!!
>AND SHE JUST DIDN'T SAY HIS NAME AGAIN SHE SAID IT TWICE!!!!!!!
>TWICE!!!!
"--And what does he do? He terrorizes the castle staff--"
>"Cell."
"--He puts my guards on edge with his very presence--"
>"Most of the guard and the staff are Anon's friends, Ce--"
"--He encourages your filthy behavior! He might have made them wor--"
>You couldn't help but jump as your little sister slams her hooves against the table
>"Hey!Thousands of years of delving into filthy dreams made me the pervert I am today!" she growled. "And we both know that Anon hasn't hurt a bucking FLY since he's been here!"
>She leaned across the table, indignation burning in her eyes
>Not one to be cowed you leaned forward yourself
"I don't understand why you've taken such a shine to that... that... cretin, Luna! Everywhere he goes he causes mischief and mayhem!"
>"He does not and you know--"
>Your sister's eyes widened and she fell back into her seat, realization coming to her face
>Was?...
>Did your words finally convince her?
>...You actually think so...
>You couldn't help but beam
>You must have finally said something that convinced her that that b-baka was up to no good!
>Quick!
>Press the advantage!
"And not only that I find that he's ugly and he has an unpleasant odor," you continue, hoping to drive your point home. "We must do something about him and quickly, before--"
>"Let's banish him, Sister."
>You nearly fall out of your chair in surprise
"...W-What?"
>Luna calmly took a sip of her coffee as you stared at her in confusion
>"You're right sister. Anonymous IS stinky and smelly and dumb and up to no good."
>She took another sip
>"Why just the other day I followed him into the marketplace since he wanted a carton of blackberries since the kitchen doesn't stock them. I watched as he walked up to the stand where a pretty young mare was selling what this BEAST yarned for--"
>Though you could hear just a bit of sarcasm in Luna's tone you ignored it and listened
>You might have not TOTALLY agreed with banishing that butthead but it seemed like your sister had some juicy information on him
>YES!
>You were sure of it!
>Your sister had some proof of that dummy's vileness!
>You could--
>"And she flirted with him, Cell."
>Your eye twitched as your sister raised her hooves and started wiggling them while making ghost sounds
>"She flirted with him and he... flirted... baaaaccccckkkkk!!!"
>...
>Without thinking you grabbed the end of the table
>With a red face and flames exploding across your mane you throw the table across the garden, sending tea and cakes and coffee everywhere
"WHAT THE BUCK WAS HER NAME?! WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE?!" you screamed, getting into your sister's face. "DO YOU THIN--epp!"
>Rolling her eyes Luna licked your nose, and in your surprise you stumbled backwards and fell onto your rump
>...Ow
>"I too share your concern, sister mine," Luna said, sounding... smug? "Anonymous is not only stomping around our castle like he owns the place also he's trying to seduce the populace!"
>Another feeling starts to overpower the rage in your belly
>"Just the thought of him settling down with some random mare, holding her close while they slept together, kissing her after a difficult day, cooking and eating a meal together just makes me sick to my stomach!"
>And if you didn't know any better you would have said that the feeling you were feeling was jealousy
>B-But you knew that that was a load of horse apples
>W-What did you have to be jealous a-about?
>I-It wasn't like you wanted to be kissed or held by that green dummy!!
>Nope!
>You didn't want that ONE LITTLE BIT!
>No siree!
>Not you!
>"I might have once thought that he was my friend but I think you convinced me that he's too great a threat to be living under our roof, sister."
>Using her magic Luna summoned up another cup of coffee while you squirmed under her gaze FOR NO REASON!
>"So let's banish Anon to the farthest reaches of Equestria. That way he won't bother anypony ever--"
"W-Wait..."
>Wow
>Is this grass interesting or what?
>You could stare at it all day
"W-We can't just BANISH him..."
>Your sister raised an eyebrow
>"We are the rulers of this kingdom, Celestia. If we wish to banish somepony I think we can get away with it."
>While your sister WAS technically right you couldn't do something like that
>While you HATED that dummy's guts banishing somepony without good cause wasn't right
>You liked to think that you were a good ruler; not a dictator that did what she wanted consequences be damned!
>"...But if you need a reason to properly punish Anon then why don't you have somepony watch him?"
>...
>...
>...
>That...
>THAT'S GENIUS!
>IF YOU HAD SOMEPONY FOLLOW THAT B-BAKA AROUND YOU COULD SEE WHAT HE WAS UP TO!
>...What he liked
>What his hobbies were
>What were his preferences were in a mar-- MARKER!
>IN A MARKER!
>FOR COLORING AND S-STUFF!
"Y-Yes... That is an excellent idea, sister mine," you say, rubbing your hooves together in glee
>Oh!
>He was going to get it SOOOOO hard when you find proof of his evilness!
>Humming, Luna hopped out of her chair and sat next to you
>"But who should we assign to tail him?" she asked
>You opened your mouth to answer but closely closed it
>That's... That's a good question...
>WHO would you and your sister send to watch this vile, dumb, smelly creature?
>You couldn't send any of your guards
>Most of them had already been won over by his silver tongue
>And Twilight and her friends were over in the Minotaur lands dealing with a friendship problem...
>Hmmmm....
>Who to choose, who to choose...
>Wait, you got it
"I'll do it."
>Luna smiles, nearly giggling, before her face becomes disapproving and stern
>"You, sister? Don't be ridiculous!"
>The floor now seems a heck of a lot less interesting, which means you're able to look up at your dear sister
>Aw
>She's worried that that BUTT might do something to you...
>You square your shoulders and smile, extending a wing and placing it on her shoulder
"I'm the only one that can do this, Luna," you say. "Everypony else that might be able to tail him have already brushed him off as harmless."
>Luna opens her mouth to say something but you cut her off by raising a hoof
"And you cannot do it because if he sees you he might become suspicious. I have the power to remain unseen, I can defend myself if I have to and I haven't succumbed to his influence. Though I appreciate your worry only I can do this."
>It might cut into your duties and free time but there was no helping that
>HE was up to something
>You KNEW it
>And you were going to find out what that something was, even if you had to stal-- follow him around for the rest of his life
>Hiding in his closet
>Searching through his things
>Watching him show--
>"Very well then, sister," you sister, the picture of solemn, said. "If that is your wish then I will not stop you."
>Standing up you pull your sister into a quick hug before turning around and trotting back toward the castle 
"It is. Now I hope you will excuse me, sister, but there is much to do!"
>As you make your way back to the castle, the visions of bringing HIM to justice, you don't notice your sister chuckling to herself
>You also don't hear what she says when you're out of earshot:
>"So THAT'S what's got you all in a tizzy huh? Heh, this is going to be SOMETHING alright..."