>"Halt! FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE WILL YOU BUCKING--"
>The little guard horse let out a squeak as you booped him on the nose as you walked past him
>Nofucksgiven
>His eyes crossed, his muzzle scrunched and he was so overwhelmed with the boop he had to sit down
>"S-Stop..."
>The other guard nervously looked at his downed partner, and he tried to take a step toward with his his spear raised
>Whatever courage that he had was gone the second that you looked at him though, extending your pointer finger to booping height
>With a whimper, guard pone stepped out of your way, allowing you to walk over and knock on Luna's door
"Luna, it's me!"
>Without waiting for an answer you opened the door and stepped into the room
"Now what the hell did you want me fo--"
>As you entered the bedroom proper you saw that moon hoers was laying on her bed under the covers with her eyes half lidded, a small smile on her face
>While seeing her snuggled in her sheets like this would usually make you smile the adorableness is diminished slightly when you saw two big lumps wiggling around under those covers
>You stop walking just as Luna let out a quiet moan, lifting the covers to look at all that was going on underneath them
>...Goddamnit...
>Sighing, you walked over and hopped on top of the only table in the room
"You know, if I had the common sense to just tell you to come to my room whenever either of us needs something I wouldn't have to walk in on shit like this."
>Whoever, or whatever, was wiggling under the covers froze as your voice carried through the room
>There was some more wiggling and the covers were pulled off of Luna's chest, revealing two red-faced and panting little maid horses. Swiffer and Glass Cleaner
>"O-Oh... Good morning, Anon!" Swiffer said with a little wave as she 'discreetly' tried to wipe the marecum off of her muzzle
>At least Glass Cleaner had the decency not to try to play this off, instead looking up at Luna
>"You didn't say that the monkey would be joining us, your highness."
>She looked back over at you, flashing you a saucy smile
>"Not that I'm not okay with that or anything~"
>With a groan Luna grabbed Glass Cleaner and pushed her back down in between her legs
>"If Anon wants to join you can have all that fun you want, but right now you have a princess to please, my little pony," she said with a ruffle of her feathers. "Now get back to licking."
>Swiffer could only blush harder as Glass Cleaner disappeared under the covers once again with a giggle
>Luna's hoof reached up and started pushing under the covers
>"W-Well, it was n-nice to see you- mthptmhtp!"
>Sighing, Luna let her head flop down onto her pillows as she closed her eyes
>"Yeah... that's it... keep using your tongue like--"
>You clear your throat
>One of Luna's eyes snapped open and she regarded you
"Do you want me to come back later or are you going to tell me what you want?"
>...And THERE'S the smell of sex
>Yep, it just hit you right there
>Just what you wanted on this bright and beautiful tuesday morning...
>The smell of horse cum
>"No, No I actually Do hAVE! something impORTanT that I need to tell yOU!"
>You could hear moaning under the covers as Cleaner and Swiffer went at it
>And you felt nothing
>NOTHING
>You were having a conversation with a mare that was having her help eat her out and you didn't feel a gosh darn thing!
>AND THAT'S NOT OKAY!!!
>Luna's ears perked up and she looked around the room like she was looking for something
>"I said I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU!"
>There's a pause before there was a knock at the door
>Luna's eyes widened in surprise
>"Oh... I wonder who that could be at this hour," she said, bringing a hoof to her chest. "Please, please come in mystery pony so that we may know your intentions!"
>You frowned at the display
>Did this little horse buy you a hooker again?
>Because that shit wasn't funny the first--
>Your eyes widened as Princess Celestia, an unreadable expression on her face, opened the door
>OhSHIT!
>Before she could even lift up a hoof to take a step forward you had hopped off of the table, getting down into a kneeling position
>"Yeah... lift that rump a little bit higher. Momma likes how those pants fit. She likes it a LOT."
>...Fucking Luna
>"Sister... Anonymous..."
>You keep your head to the floor as Celestia walked into the room until she was standing over you
>You could feel her gaze on you, searching for any nonsense that she could scream about
"Good morning your highness," you say as you feel something tug at your pants
>Risking a glance back you see a blue magical aura pulling on your underwear
>Looking over at Luna you see that there's a smile on her face and the tip of her horn was glowing
>FUCKINGLUNA!!!!
>You were about to make a face at her when a white wing appears out of the corner of your vision
>You stiffen as you felt Celestia's wing tip slipped under your chin, the soft feathers tickling your skin
>"Up, up, Anonymous," the Princess of the Sun said, tapping your chin with her wing. "I need to speak with you and I cannot do that when you're groveling as you are."
>Though her tone was tense and harsh like always today it seemed a little... different?
>Not as cunty maybe?
>Though you were confused why Celestia wasn't chewing you out about something or another like she usually did you allowed her to pull you up to your feet
>Looking down at the princess you see that she's glaring at you with a red face and a scrunched up nose
>Alright...
>Princess Celestia wants to talk to you...
>Looking away from her you started fiddling with your hands
"...Did you need something, Princess?"
>You couldn't help but flinch as she snorted
>"Yes. You and I need to have a little... CHAT, Anonymous..."
>Oh god
>This was going to be it
>Celestia was going to murder you in cold blood while Luna watched
>Justlikeinyourdreams!
>You began to sweat as the princess started to circle you
>"The other day I was sitting in my private chambers having my afternoon tea," she began. "I was about to help myself to a cake when I heard somepony knocking on my door."
>Don'trunaway!
>Ifyourunshe'llcatchandeatyou!
>YougottastaystilllikewiththeT-rex!
>"Upon opening the door I saw one of my little ponies with a letter in her mouth. A letter that was addressed to me from a certain human."
>Celestia tightened her circle around you, and you had to huddle close to yourself so that her mane or tail wasn't touching you
>"Being the kind and benevolent mare that I am I decided to read your LETTER."
>She stopped in front of you, a frown on her face as she took a step forward and poked your chest with a hoof
>"I do not appreciate you treating my little ponies like your personal servants, you butt. Next time that you see Mrs. Skies I expect you to apologize for wasting her time with your nonsense."
>The room is once again silent for a few moments before Celestia's eyes narrowed and you realized that you needed to say something back
"Y-Yes princess. Of course princess," you say, stopping just shy of saluting
>Though she doesn't look happy with your answer she nodded
>"Good. And make sure you put a little feeling into it will you?"
>You flinched as she roughly poked your chest again
"Yes Princess."
>Staring at you hard Celestia sighed and looked away
>"That being SAID... I do believe that what you wrote in your letter has some truth," she said, rubbing a front leg. "I MIGHT have been a little... hard on you these past couple of months."
>Might have?
>This crazy horse had been nothing but cunty to you pretty much since you started living here!
>BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT!
>She read your letter!
>She didn't just go and tear it up like you thought she would!
>If that wasn't some progress you didn't know what was! 
"...So what are you--"
>"I'M STILL TALKING."
>Your mouth snaps shut and you nervously motion for her to continue
>Whoo
>Your asshole clenched up real tight right there...
>Giving you a look, Celestia continued
>"So, in the name of friendship, I have decided to get to know you a little better, Anonymous."
>The blush on her face, which had largely dissipated during her little intimidating walk around, came back in force as she looked you up and down one last time
>"N-Not that I think you'd be interesting o-or anything. A-And I most c-certainly don't want t-to be your friends really-really. Y-You see I just have an obligati--"
>You didn't hear a single word that came out of that giant horse's mouth as you lunged forward
>With happiness oozing out of every orifice-- EVERY orifice-- you picked her up and wrapped her in a hug, pressing your face into the tuft of fur on her chest
"REALLY?!" you cried, nuzzling her as she squeaked, all four legs kicking wildly
>Though you think you could hear Luna laughing in the background you couldn't help but tune it out as the silky smooth fur on Celestia chest tickled your cheek
"FANTASTIC! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO KNOW YOU FOR MONTHS! ANDNOWICANFINALLYDOIT!!!"
>To your delight the princess had this sunflower-y, woody smell to her and she was warm and soft and ever so huggable
>Like Luna except SHE wasn't going to try to poke at your junk when your guard was down
>...Hopefully
"OH, WE'RE GONNA BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, PRINCESS! I JUST KNOW IT!"
>As occupied with the tuft as you were you didn't notice that Celestia, nearly half of her body bright red, had closed her eyes
>Gritting her teeth her horn sparked to life, and before you could even blink she disappeared from your arms
You blinked, wondering where your brand new huggle buddy had gone, when an unseen force grabbed you and tossed you into the air
>Holyshitingshit!
>You flailed around uselessly with a yelp before you hit Luna's carpeted floor, rolling across it before you hit a cabinet
>Dizzy, disorientated and in a bit of pain you couldn't help but let out a groan as you stared up at the ceiling
>...Ow
>"A-Anonymous!"
>Somehow managing to pick your head up off the floor you see Celestia stomping toward you, her face, neck and chest bright red and her snozzle scrunched to dangerous levels
>...Why
>Why the hell did you have to go and do that?
>The Princess wanted to try to be your friend and you went and hugged her like some dumbfuck
>And now she's probably going to kill you for picking her up and throwing her around like a sack of potatoes
>Good job Anon
>You fucking autists
>Groaning again, you let your head fall back into the carpet, your fate accepted
>A moment later the Princess of the Sun was looming over you, her eyes blazing and her face on fire
>In the metaphorical sense, not the literal one
>Thank god
>"W-Wait a few days b-before touching me w-with your big, g-grimy hands, b-baka!" she cried, poking your chest with a hoof. "A-And give me a-a little warning you--"`
>"Oh WIll yoU Two JUst kiSS alREADY?--Ah~! I swear to the stars it's--Oh! like watching a bucking drAMA!"
>Fucking
>Luna
>You closed your eyes as Celestia twitched and spun around to glare at her sister
>"K-KISS?! As if I would-- WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING LUNA?!?!"
>Lifting your head back up you see that Luna was about ready to blow
>Her eyes are glazed, her mane was whipping wildly around her head, every few seconds she was twitching and making these little moaning sounds and she had both Cleaner and Swiffer pressed firmly against her crotch
>Celestia reeled from the sight, confusion, embarrassment, and outrage on her face
>Luna, being the no fucks given kind of mare that she was, simply shrugged at her sister's question
>"I HAVE --unf~! two marES eating me--ahh~! out."
>If you weren't on the floor in pain you might have laughed as Celestia's eyes bugged out of her head
>"WHAT?!?!"
>"Yep--Ahh, right there! Keep licking RIGHT THERE!-- and I gotta say that this--ohh~! heartwarming scene is REALLY helping me along."
>As her sister stutters and shimmers, Luna turned her attention toward you
>"Anon! ANON! I need you right now! Call me a whorse!"
>...No
"No Luna."
>Letting out a whimper, Luna started to gently buck her hips
>"I-I'm so close! Just call me a whorse! Please"
>...You weren't going to do that
>You weren't going to do that one little bit
>You--
>Your nose scrunches up as Luna gave you the dreaded puppy dog eyes
"...You're a whorse, Luna."
>"LOUDER! SAY IT LOUDER!"
"...You're a dirty little whorse, Luna. The dirtiest little whorse in the world."
>Luna's wings extended and her back arched, her eyes rolling around in her head 
>She crushed the little maid horses against her nethers and bit her lip hard
>You were just about ready to let your head hit the carpet again but Luna's eye met yours
>...No
>Not again
>Don't you fucking do this moon hoers
>Don'y you dar--
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>You feel a little of yourself die on the inside as Luna threw back her head and screamed loud and long, her horn firing some sort of magical goo
>Groaning in the midst of her screams, you let your head fall back down onto the carpet and close your eyes
"I used to have a pretty normal life. I had a pretty nice apartment, a dog; hell, I even had a girlfriend."
>"WHOO! TAKE MOMMA TO THE MOOOON!"
>You threw an arm up helplessly as Luna's bed groaned and squeaked as the alicorn rode out her orgasm
"Now look at me. I'm a fucker that makes horse princesses cum by calling them names. Are you proud dad?"
>...
>...
>...
>The worst thing is that your fucking dad would probably be proud of it
>The sick bastard
>...God do you miss him...
>Him and all of his weird fetishes...
>Celestia, unbeknownst to you, was not taking the fact that her sister was cumming right in front of her very well
>Not very well at all
>"WelllookatthetimeIreallyneedtobegettingtothatthingthatIhadtodotoday!"
>Her horn sparked to life
>"NowexusemewhileIgoandbleachmyeyeballs!"
 
POP!
 
>Eventually Luna stopped screaming and she let her body go limp
>"Ha... ha... whoo! Good going ladies," she said, patting the two lumps. "Momma hasn't cum that hard in at least a month."
>Her horn sparked to life and the two maid pones disappeared out of the room with a pop, leaving you and Luna alone
>Humming as she basked in her afterglow, Luna looked over at your prone form with a dopey little grin
>Her horn sparked to life once again and her magic encased you, picking you up off the ground
"Let go me of, Luna."
>"No, I need a cuddle buddy right now, and since you WERE the one that helped me finish you kinda--"
"You fucking twisted my arm!" you retorted, kicking at the air as Luna levitated you over
>Luna snorted as she pulled down her covers and set you down next to her
>The second that your back hit the bed moon hores was upon you, wrapping all four hooves around you and pulling you close
>"I'll twist something else if you'd like~"
>You make a face as you wrap an arm around your fucking crazy, dirty friend
>With a sigh, Luna nuzzled your neck and closed her eyes
>"So did you like your surprise?" she sweetly asked.
"This bed smells funny."
>"I couldn't believe when I sister came to me wanting to set this little get together up."
"It's way too warm under these sheets."
>Luna smiled, looking into your dead, expressionless eyes
>"I guess you're finally getting what you wanted, my little human."
"You're really sweaty and sticky."
>"You get to chum it up with my big sis AND you have the honor of calling yourself my best human friend. Lucky you huh?"
"I wish I was back in my room huddled in my shower crying."
>With a quiet giggle, Luna, making sure that you weren't going anywhere, kissed your cheek and closed her eyes
>"Who knows? Maybe if you play your cards right you might even manage to convince the two of you to have a three-way with you. I'd be up for it~"
"I'm going to have nightmares about this. I'm going to have nightmares about this for what feels like the millionth time, Luna."
>"Yep, everything seems to be looking up for your monkey behind. Your nice, nice monkey behind."
>You don't even do anything as Luna reached down and pinched your ass
>You just stared at the little horse that was forcing you to lay on her dirty bed
>There were a lot of things that you wanted to say to her to sum up just how fucked up this whole thing was
>Why the hell did she think it was a good idea to have ponies tongue-fucking her with her sister in the room?
>Couldn't she maybe have waited for five minutes before doing it?
"...Fuck you Luna."
>Moon hoers yawned
>"Maybe later. Now we gotta post coitus snuggle."
"But--"
>"Post sex snuggle."
"B--"
>"SNUGGLE!"
>...
>...
>...
>Fucking Luna....
>"Your majesty, is everything-epp!"
>One of your guards hits the deck as you leapt over him, your face on fire and your wings stiff
>WHAT THE BUCK WAS WRONG WITH YOUR SISTER?!
>You asked her to invite Anonymous into her room so that you could talk to him and she does THAT?!
>What made her think that that was a good idea at all?
>And where did she get those maids?!
>You had talked to her about five minutes before you went back into the room!
>What, did she have them there already?!
>...Actually you don't think you want an answer for that...
>Running through your halls like your tail was on fire, and ignoring any concerned bystander, you eventually made it back to your room
>Nearly ripping the door off its hinges you hop into the room and slam it behind you
"Oh horse apples..."
>Reaching behind you you tried your best to push down your stiff wings
>...Nope
>They won't go down
>They won't go down one little bit...
>Bucking fantastic...
>Hopefully anypony that you ran across just thought that your wings were up like this because you were running so fast
>Because THAT was not a discussion you wanted to have during the Day Court...
>Slumping against your door you closed your eyes, taking a moment to catch your breath
>You...
>You were GOING to have a talk with your sister about this
>Having a little fun in the privacy in your bedroom was fine (you might not have been okay with ALL of the fun that she had in her bedroom but your sister was an adult that could make her own decisions) but you were NOT okay with having a conversation with her while somepony's getting her off
>You are not okay with that one little bit!
>...That being said your little heart-to-heart with Anonymous went well
>He didn't suspect that you were trying to uncover his evil plot(s)
>He had even HUGGED you when you had told him that you wanted to give him a chance
>Humph!
>How dare he try to hug you!
>You had JUST extended the olive branch to him and like the SAVAGE he was he rushed you and picked you up
>With those strong arms of his...
>And that dumb, happy smile on his face as he pressed you against his nice smelling chest...
>Your wings twitch as you pick yourself off the floor and make your way over to your bedroom
>Bah!
>Nevermind that!
>Now that you had actually pulled the wool over that baka's head you needed to capitalize on it!
>You needed him to think of you as his most trusted and bestest friend!
>...But how were you going to go about that?
>Hopping onto your bed you ponder...
>...Until an idea came to you
>An idea that was so amazing and wonderful that even you were shocked at how great it was
>Cackling to yourself, you look over toward your balcony
>It was a lovely day outside
>Your sun was shining
>The birds were chirping
"And Anonymous doesn't have a clue what he's in for..."