>"Come on Twi! If you don't bucking hurry up we're gonna leave you here!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming! Just give me another minute!"
>Your eyes snapped over to your mirror, checking to see if you looked presentable
>Your mane was neatly combed as was your fur
>Your face was clean and without blemishes
>You had taken TWO baths not too long ago so smelling bad wasn't going to be a problem...
>Alright...
>It looked like you were ready
>Closing your eyes you took a few deep breaths
"Alright Twilight," you mutter, staring at your reflection. "You don't need to panic. The girls are just taking you out to a bar to have a little fun. You all are going to have a few drinks, you'll dance, and you'll all come home without a problem. You. Don't. Need. To. Panic."
>Unfortunately not all that you just said to yourself was true
>You and the girls were going out to a bar true, but the main intent of such a visit wasn't to just have a little fun
>For some reason Rainbow had gotten it into her head that you needed to get out and mingle
>Go out and talk to ponies; let loose, shake your groove thing...
>...Hit on some stallions...
>Talk to a stallion at all really...
>You had insisted that the party scene wasn't for you--because it wasn't-- but your rainbow-maned friend had insisted
>And then Rarity had insisted
>...And then Applejack and Pinkie Pie were insisting that you go
>So, in the face of ever mounting peer pressure, you had caved in
>And that meant instead of spending your friday night in your treerary reading the newest edition of D.O.R.K.S you had to go with your friends to a club
>You were Twilight Sparkle
>Ponyville's resident smartass/book enthusiast
>And you would have given half of your horn to stop the pounding in your chest
>Knees weak, hooves sweaty and all that
"You'll have fun. You'll have the greatest time of your life. You're going to dance and look cool and YOU'LLSTOPSHAKINGFORCELESTIA'SSAKE!!!"
>Groaning, you let your head flop onto the counter
 
>Why couldn't you have just told your friends no?!
>It wouldn't have been that hard!
>You even knew just the spell to seal your house if they kept being so pushy!
>You weren't good at things like this!
>And you most certainly weren't ready for what Rainbow and the other girls had planned for you!
>So what if you didn't have all that much luck with stallions?
>It wasn't your fault!
>Whenever you tried to talk to one and get to know them your brain turned to mush and you started to use really big words andyouhavetoreallygotothebathroomANDYOU'REJUSTNOTGOODWITHSTALLIONSOKAY?!?!?!
>Why didn't Fluttershy have to come and suffer through this with you?
>It wasn't like SHE was swimming in the cock either
>...At least you don't think so...
>...
>What if--
>You couldn't help but jump as your bedroom door was open
"Bucking!--"
>You grunted as you hit the chair you had been sitting on at a funny angle
>The chair gave way from underneath you and in an instant you found yourself face planting on your own floor
>...Welp
>You could tell that you night was going to be something else!
>"Come on, Twilight, quit messing around."
>A low groan escaped your lips as you were pulled to your hooves
>Turning your head you see Rainbow staring back at you with a look of irritation on her face
>Unlike you the pegasus hadn't brushed her mane or coat or any of that
>In fact you were pretty sure that she hadn't even showered today
>...But you bet that she'd still go home with a colt while you came home to Mr. Quaker (aka your dildo) for some relief
>Stupid Rainbow...
>Grumbling, you allow your friend to guide you out of your bedroom and downstairs where your friends were waiting
>"Alright, I got molasses missy over here," Rainbow said, nudging your side just a little too hard. "Now we can go out and have some fun!"
>"WHOO!" Pinkie yelled, throwing her hooves in the air like she just didn't give a darn. "Momma's gonna get some tonight!"
 
>Applejack grinned, walking over and gently bumping your shoulder with her's
>"Ya ready fer tonight, Twi," she asked gently
>Nope
>Nada
>Not at all
>In fact you'd rather be doing anything other than what you're about to do
"Y-Yep. I couldn't b-be more ready for anything i-if I tried," you managed to stutter, a big, fake ol' smile coming to your face
>Applejack smiles at that, giving you another nudge
>"That'a girl, sugarcube."
>Without another word you and the other girls spill out into the night
>While the other girls were chatting about this or that you were mentally preparing yourself for what was to come
>Though Ponyville, at first glance, looked like a sleepy little village it actually had quite the nightlife
>In fact the only place that boasted more clubs and what have you was Canterlot
>Which meant that the second that the weekday turned into the weekend the streets were filled with ponies looking for a good time
>Drunk, sober, stallion, and mare; they came in all different shapes and sizes
>"Alright, Twi," Rainbow said, suddenly appearing by your side and wrapping a hoof around your neck. "Before we dive off in the clubhead first we need to set up a game plan to get you some D."
>Oh
>Welp
>Hopefully that warmth coming to your face isn't a blush
>That'd be embarrassing
>"Yes, we should have a pow wow before joining the fray, dear," Rarity added, appearing on your left
"A-Alright," you mumbled. "What do you h-have in mind?"
>Both of your friends looked at each other, humming thoughtfully
>"Well... The place where we're taking you to is usually filled with cunt hungry sluts so it should be a breeze to get you some action," Rainbow said, scratching her chin. "But we don't want you getting with any nasty colts..."
>"A trip to the clinic isn't a fun one," Rarity remarked with a shudder
>Skittles and marshmallows hummed and hawed a bit more before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above Rainbow's head
 
>Grinning widely she started to playfully shake you around
>"I got it! Me and Rare can pick a stallions out for you!"
>Rarity gasped
>"Rainbow, darling, that might be the most intelligent thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth!"
>"...Well, maybe not--"
>"Just think of it! You and I, veterans in the art of seducing stallions, can teach Twilight here our ways!"
>For a moment it looks like Rarity's going to hop into the air but she just fussed her mane instead
>Celestia forbid that she lets loose for a second and hops into the air...
>Stupid Rarity, stupid Rainbow...
>Maybe you didn't WANT to go home with a stallion!
>Maybe you just wanted to spend the evening reading your Neighpon comics and eating all of the rocky road ice cream in your house!
>...
>Are you being salty because you don't wanna go to this bar?
>...
>...
>...
>You're starting to think that you are...
>Your ears fold back against your head as a pang of guilt hits you
>Here your friends are trying to help you out in the stallion department and you're talking smack about them in your mind because you're a little scared about talking to the opposite sex
>That's not a good pony thinking
>That's bad pony thinking
>BAD Twilight
>BAD
"...I'm willing to go with whatever you guys plan to do," you say, doing your best to sound resolute
>Rarity and Rainbow smile and you couldn't help but look away from them in shame
"And... I'm really sorry if I'm coming off grumpy tonight. I'm just really nervous and stuff..."
>You look around to see that all of your friends were smiling at you in understanding
>"It ain't no biggy, sugarcube," Applejack said with a tip of her hat. "I'm sure all o' us were just as twitchy first time we went out ta get us some flank." Applejack mused with a sly grin
 
>"Yeah, even I had butterflies in my belly the first time I went out. Now look at me! I'm a sexual deviant!" Pinkie said with a happy little hop
>You...
>You didn't want to know THAT to be honest
>In fact you didn't want to know ANYTHING about Pinkie's sex life
>But you appreciate the sentiment all the same
>You smiled, and were about to tell them as much, when the sound of music blasting found its way to your ears
>"Ohhh! We're almost there! Come on everypony! Let's hurry up before all the good cock gets taken!"
>The four of you hurry onward and upward
>You know, maybe tonight wasn't going to be all that bad?
>Sure, this wasn't your thing but maybe it'd be fun?
>You really hoped so...
>In no time at all you and the girls find yourselves standing in front of Ponyville's most famous nightclub, "Hushed Whispers"
>Though there's an absolutely MASSIVE line stretching around the block you all get in no problem
>For some reason Pinkie knew the bouncer of the place
>And the bartender 
>And even the owner of the bar if what she told you was right
>Party pony knew some ponies; who'd of thunk it?
>The second that you all step into the massive building you're bombarded with stimuli
>Music is blasting so loudly and the bass is turned up so much that it feels like your ears were going to bleed
>Lights were flashing on and off and there were flashes and the lights were changing color every half a second so your eyes were hurting in under a minute 
>And then there was the army of ponies
>Mare, stallion, a... stallion(?) dressed up in drag
>There must have been three hundred of them crammed into this tight space, all of them talking and dancing and doing all of the nightlife... stuff
>Why was that mare over there selling breath fresheners that had heart shapes on them?
>And why was she covered in glow sticks?
>...
>Did you need to go over there and buy one of them?
>You were pretty sure that your breath doesn't stink right now but it never hurt to be prepared!
 
>You were about to walk over to the nice breath mint mare when Rainbow stopped you with a wing 
>"ALRIGHT, TWILIGHT, FOLLOW ME AND WE'LL WALK AROUND THE BAR AND SCOPE OUT THE MEAT!"
"WAIT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS MUSIC!"
>"I SAID FOLLOW ME AND WE'LL LOOK AT THE STALLIONS!"
"WAIT? THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, RAINBOW, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
>"I SAID--"
"WHAT?"
>"I SAID--"
"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP LOUDER!!!"
>"...Celestia dammit..."
>Shaking her head, Rainbow grabbed you and started to drag you deeper into the crowd with Rarity trailing right behind
>Waving and mouthing good luck, Pinkie and Applejack made their way over to the bar as you, Rainbow, and Rarity began to mingle
>Some time passed
>You weren't counting how long but it felt like a while
>The three of you wormed your way into various crowds
>You talked to mare and stallion alike about this and that and some such
>You had tried to dance but were immediately stopped by Rarity
>Probably because this establishment wouldn't be able to handle you if you had continued
>You were even forced to take a disgusting shot or two
>All the while you were walking around you had tried to absorb everything that your two friends were doing
>From the way that they moved to the way they talk to how their voices changed you did your best to copy everything they did when you talked to a stallion
>You gave it your best shot, really, you did but in the end you didn't have any takers
>No matter what you or Rarity or Rainbow said or did not a single stallion even tried to whisper sweet nothings into your ear
>...Or whatever stallions did to single to a mare that they were interested
>Rainbow, even though she got slapped a few times, had some stallions showing some interest
>And Rarity had colts eating out of her hooves the moment that she saw them
>But you?
>Not a one
 
>At best they'd giggle and say something you couldn't hear over the blasting music before walking away from you
>And...
>And that didn't make you feel all that great...
>What the hay was wrong with you?
>Were you not pretty?
>Did stallions not like the color of your coat?
>Were you too short?
>Too chubby?
>...
>...
>...
>Was your bottom too big?
>As Rarity talked to a group of stallions about some such nonsense you snuck a look at your backside
>To your horror you saw that it was just JUTTING out there
>Being big and huge and... unsightly
>Biting your lip you sneak a glance at your friends bottoms (no homo)
>Rainbow had a tight little muscle-y butt
>Rarity's butt might have been just a little bit bigger than Rainbow's but it was still a heck of alot smaller than yours
>In fact, now that you were looking at mare's flanks (in an entirely nonsexual way of course) you saw that you had the biggest butt in the club
>Bigger than Pinkie's
>Bigger than Applejack's
>Even bigger than that shemale gentlecolt/mare with the pink wig over there!
>It had to be your butt then right?
>Stallion's didn't like mares with giant bottoms
>They like mares with small, tight butts
>... And you didn't have that...
"I-I'm going to go get a drink," you mumble to nopony in particular, turning around and walking away from Rarity and Rainbow
>As engrossed as they were with the stallions they were talking to neither noticed you leave
>Nor did they notice you sniffle or hastily wiping the tears out of your eyes
>Which was good
>You were already a big butted weirdo that couldn't talk to stallions
>You didn't want to be known as a cry baby to top it all off
 
>With your fatal flaw realized, you couldn't help but notice your flank with every step you took
>The thing bumped into everypony you walked past
>It jiggled and wiggle with every step you took
>You could feel your cheeks rubbing against each other with every step
>Even when you sat down on one of the stools at the club's bar you could feel your flank threatening to spill off your seat
>You couldn't help but sniffle as you ordered yourself something to drink
>You bet your horn that stallions were looking over and laughing at you
>Calling you names and making fun of your butt
>And your horn
>And how dumb your mane style and coat and cutie mark was...
>...It wasn't your fault that you butt was so big
>You tried to watch what you ate
>You exercised a healthy amount
>But you still had this giant butt for some stupid reason
>Heck, you were sure that you botton rivaled your teacher!
>Stupid butt...
>Stupid stallions...
>You sunk into your chair with a sniffle and were about to take a drink of the appletini when you felt somepony sit beside you
>You didn't see it, and it shouldn't be possible to hear them over this blasting music, whoever they were, but you could feel them sitting next to you all the same
>"You alright there, sister? You look like you're having a crappy night."
>Looking up from your drink you see... something sitting next to you
>It wasn't a pony, or a gryphon, or anything else that you've seen or read about
>From the odd but stylish suit that he was wearing and his cheek bone structure you had to guess that he was a... stallion?
>Or at least a male whatever he was...
>Though a part of you just wanted to ignore him and enjoy your drink while you wallowed in your misery you had been taught to be respectful to all stallions, no matter what their race or how tfw you were
>...And besides, maybe you could ask him a couple of questions
>Like what he was, why he was so tall, why he was green?
>...And were those canines you saw?
 
>It wasn't like he was interested in a big butted dork like you anyway, so it wouldn't hurt to ask right?
>The worst he could say was no...
"...Y-Yeah, my night's been a little rough," you say, looking down at your drink with your ears pinned against your head
>The male looks you up and down, as if looking for something, before he nudges your side
>"Well, as luck would have it I'm having a pretty bad night myself."
>The bartender walks over and sets a mug of clear liquid in front of the male
>Not looking away from you he grabs the drink and drains it in two swallows
>...Wow...
>You don't think you've ever seen a stallion drink like that
>...Well you really have seen that many stallions drink but you get the point...
>Making a face he sets the glass down
>"So, since we're bad night buddies, why don't you tell me your name?"
>Wow...
>Now that you really looked at him you couldn't help but notice that he smile was really ni--
>Oh shoot!
>A stallion just asked your name!
>Don't be a sperg Sparkle!
>And don't you dare blush filly!
"I-I'm Twilight Sparkle. I-It's nice to meet you."
>The bartender walks over and refills his glass
>Picking it up he tapped his glass against yours
>"Well, Twilight Sparkle, I can say without a doubt that it is my greatest pleasure to meet you."
>He throws back his drink again and you couldn't help but feel obliged to take a sip of your apple based beverage
>Hmmm, Apple-y
>"My name's Anonymous. My friends call me Anon."
>Never in your life had a bad turned around for you so quickly after meeting somepony
>You and Anon must have talked for hours as you sipped your drinks
>Well you sipped; Anon drank like a thirsty sailor
>The two of you talked about everything you could think of; you asking Anon anything that came to mind and the "hyoo-man" getting you to talk about yourself
>The longer you talked to him the quieter the music seemed to get
>The crowd just seemed to disappear to so it was just the two of you
 
>Even your big butt, which had bummed you out so much that you had originally wanted to just leave the club so you could go home and eat ice cream like the pig that you were, was forgotten as you talked with this interesting and thoughtful male
>In just minutes the two of your were conversing like you have known each other all of your lives, laughing and joking and carrying on like neither of you had a care in the world
>And, by the grace of Celestia, you managed to keep yourself together while talking to an admittedly attractive male!
>...For the most part
>You still got real blushy every once in awhile when he touched or teased you, and more than once you caught yourself using big words to try and impress him, but you liked to think that you handled yourself pretty well
>Anon, the wonderful stallion that he was, made sure to gently guide you back toward normal whenever you were in danger of entering the sperg zone
>It also helped that he was so easy to talk to
>And funny
>And honestly and genuinely nice
>And good looking
>And smart
>And did you mention that he was nice? >Because he was
>Not like most other stallions
>No, this one was a keeper!
>Right in front of you was a colt that you could bring home to your father with your head help up high!
>...
>N-Not that you were p-planning to d-do anything with Anon!
>...It wasn't like he'd be interested in a fatty like you...
>He was probably just talking to you because he felt sorry for you or something...
>The look on your face must have been something because Anon placed a hand on your shoulder
>"You alright there, Twilight?"
>Rocking back forth on your stool you managed to move your head in what you hoped looked like a nod
"Yash, I'm okay," you slurred, doing your best to focus on him
>It looked like you had just a little too much to drink...
>The smile that had been on Anon's face diminished somewhat
>"You sure?" he asked grabbing your chin and looking you over. "You look a little red..."
 
>Red... hehe
>Red was the color of apples
>And the apple family were a bunch of rednecks...
>You drunkenly started to laugh at your word association
>You started laughing so hard in fact that your body jerked unsuspectingly
>Before you could react you found yourself falling off the stool
>You would have hit the ground to, and looked like the biggest dork in the universe in the process, if Anonymous hadn't quickly snatched you up
>"Easy there, starbutt," he said pulling you close to his chest. "We don't want you face planting there."
>Hehehehehe
>Plants don't have faces you silly colt
>You giggle all the harder, covering your face with your hooves
>Any other time you'd be horrified that a stallion was marehandling you like this but you were drunk
>Very drunk
>So you were alright with being held in a giant stallion's arms like you were a small filly
>Future Twilight could deal with the embarrassment and ridicule
>Right now was silly drunk pony giggle time
>"Hey barkeep, get me some water wouldcha? This little mare's had herself too much to drink."
"My friendsh," you slur, your eyes half lidded. "Take mesh to my friiiiendsh."
>Shushing you, Anon patted you on the head
>"You can see your friends in the morning, Twiggles," he said. "I'm going to take you home. Oh thanks."
>You felt a cup being brought to your lips
>"Come on now, drink up. You're gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning but if you have some H2O it won't be as bad."
>Heh, H2O
>That's the molecular structure for water!
>Chemistry's so funny
>Still giggling, you gulp down the water as you wiggled around in your new friend's arms
>"Barkeep, get me another water. I'm making sure this one gets home safe and sound."
>Heh, sound is the vibrations in the air that the sensitive organs in the ear can pick up not a state of being
 
>Who knew colts were so silly?
>You sure as hay didn't!
>...Why did it feel like you had a bowl over your head?
>Oh who cares?
>You're too busy feeling warm and tingly and...
>...And...
>Stuff!
>You barely notice as Anonymous carries you out of the club and into the night
>"Do me a favor and tell me if you gotta throw up, alright Twilight? I don't feel like getting puked on."
>You nodded your head, taking a little sip of your water
"Okaysh..."
>You looked up at Anon
"Anonsh?"
>"Yeah, Twi?"
"Thanksh for spending the nightsh with me. I hadsh I lotta fun."
>Anon smiles and for some reason you feel butterflies starting to flying around in your tummy
>"I had a lot of fun too, Twi. Thanks for, making my shitty day better."
>This time you couldn't help but blush, your back legs twitching as you looked away from Anon
"Y-Yoush too..."
>The rest of the walk is spent in comfortable silence, you trying to get all of the hay back into your pockets and Anon looking around where he was...
>Wherever he was taking you to...
"Anonsh? Wheresh we going?"
>"Since you're probably too drunk to tell me where you life and I don't live that far from the bar I'm taking you to my place," Anon chirped. "You can crash there for the night. How's that sound?"
>...
>...
>...
>HAH!
>YOU GOT INVITED TO A STALLION'S PLACE!
>TAKE THAT MOM!
>I'M NOT GAY!
>YOU'RE GAY!
>YOU'RE GAY!!!!
>You break into another fit of delighted giggles as Anonymous makes his way over to one of the houses and opens the door
 
>"Here we are! Home sweet home."
>You blink as lights are flicked on
>"Come on, let's get some more water into you huh?"
>You couldn't help but smile as Anon sets you down on an old but comfortable couch and wraps a blanket around you
"T-Thank you," you mumble,holding the blanket tight and taking a deep breath
>It smelled nice
>...Just like Anon...
>You spend the next hour or so just sitting on Anon's couch drinking water while the two of you continued to talk to each other
>After a little while you sober up enough to notice that the two of you were leaning against each other
>You cuddled under a far too big blanket and Anon with his arm wrapped around you
>He felt so warm
>You felt so comfortable
>And in your comfortable and happy state you couldn't help but think thoughts
>Thoughts that you should not be thinking with Anonymous sitting right there
>Especially since most of those thoughts were about Anon himself
"...A-Anon?"
>Anonymous looks down at you with a smile that turned your legs to jelly
>"Yeah, Twilight? Did you ne--thmph!"
>You keep your eyes shut nice and tight as you wrapped your hooves around Anon's neck and pulled him into a kiss
>You didn't dare open your your eyes
>You didn't want to see the disgust or outrage in them because you were doing this
>You knew that doing something like this was dumb, maybe the dumbest thing that you could do
>If Anon didn't take this well, and he probably wasn't going to take you kissing him well, the best you could hope for was just getting thrown out of his house
>But buck it
>You just wanted to enjoy this moment kissing this great, kind stallion
>You just wanted to imagine that you had a chance with him for JUST one moment...
 
>...You wanted your first kiss to feel special...
>You could feel the beginnings of tears starting to form out of the corners of your eyes but you continue to kiss him
>Any moment you expected Anon to push you away
>Any second now you expected that he'd start screaming at you
>But it didn't happen
>In fact, if you didn't know any better, you'd say that Anon was kissing you back
>Though you wanted to just sit here kissing this stallion forever you needed to breathe
>And while Anon's lips were soft and supple and delicious they didn't produce oxygen or nitrogen or any of the other gases that you needed to live
>Hold it for a little longer, Twilight!
>Hold on for a little longer!
>You needed to savor this kiss!
>SAVOR IT!
>When you finally couldn't take it anymore you pulled away from Anon with a gasp, your eyes bulging out of your head as you sucked up as much oxygen that you could with your mouth hole
>Resting your hooves on Anon's shoulders you leaned back so we not to get any spit or snot or tears on Anon
>To your surprise you feel one of his hands on the small of your back, supporting you so that you didn't just fall over
>"Well... that was something."
>You stiffen
>With your heart pounding in your chest you looked down at Anon
>To your surprise and immeasurable relief he didn't look outraged or angry or anything like that!
>In fact he was smiling!
>SMILING!!!
>A dopey smile comes to your face
"Y-Yeah... sorry about that," you say, since you... really didn't know what else to say in this situation
>You've never kissed a stallion before so you didn't know what to do now that you had gotten the whole kissing business out of the way
>Should you hug him?
>Did you need to get him a drink or something?
>Were the two of you married now?
>Should you kiss him some more?
 
>You felt like you should wrap your hooves around him and kiss him some more...
>Like a lot more
>Like every second of every day and twice before bedtime!
>...You got it!
>Pick up lines!
>You could use pickup lines to show Anonymous your interest and seal the deal
>IT WAS THE PERFECT PLAN!
>THEPERFECTPLAN!!!!
"H-Hey A-Anon? Do you have eleven protons? 'Cause you SODIUM fine!"
>Oh sweet Celestia...
>That sounded a lot better in your head
>You better stop while you're--
"Can I be the p-phasor to your e-electron and t-take you to an e-excited state?"
>Wat R U doing filly?!
>You were supposed to stop!
>SO BUCKING STOP!
"A-Are you made of Copper and T-Tellurium? B-Because you are Cu-Te..."
>YOU COULDN'T STOP!
>WHY THE BUCK COULDN'T STOP?!?!?!?!?!
>With each horrible, horrible pick up line your face got redder and redder and redder
>Anon's smile grew and grew as he leaned forward and gave you a kiss on the nose
>You flinched and reeled back, as red as a tomato, but Anon was relentless as he gave you snoozle another kiss
>Then another
>Then you found yourself sitting in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck
>The two of you had your foreheads touching with your horn out of the way so you didn't stab him (Celestia knows how THAT'D ruin the mood) just looking at each other
>"Has anyone ever told you that you're adorable, Twilight?"
>Your breath caught in your throat as you felt Anon placing his hands on your sides
>You could feel a fire building up in your belly, arousal making your head spin
"H-Has anypony ever a-asked if y-your pants were were space p-pants? 'Cause y-your flank is out o-of this world..."
 
>Chuckling, Anon puckered his lips as you slowly leaned up and kissed him again
>Your tongue darted out of your mouth and licked his lips
>This was how they did it r-right?
>Your back legs twitched as Anon opens his mouth and his tongue comes out to greet yours
>Though yours was a good deal bigger than his Anon actually knew how to prench kiss, so in a bout of drunken wisdom you let him set the pace
>Patiently Anon guides your tongues into his mouth, stroking and teasing your wet muscle as you excitedly explored
>By this point your eyes were shut tight and it felt like you were going to explode
>This was too much
>There was too much stimulation for your poor body to handle
>You let out a moan, running your hooves up and down Anon's back as you savored him
>You could taste the liquor that he had been drinking as well as something that you couldn't identify
>You moaned again as Anon's hands grazed your cutiemarks
>Oh buck!
>OH BUCK!
>YOU WERE GOING TO LOSE YOUR MIND!
>YOU NEEDED SOMETHING IN YOU RIGHT THE BUCK NOW!!!
>Whimpering, you ran your tongue over Anon's teeth before breaking the kiss
>Anon let out a playful growl, giving your nose another kiss
>"Adorable and feisty huh?"
>You bit your lip hard as he gave your rump a squeeze
>"Man I really lucked out tonight didn't I?"
>He was about to lean in for another kiss but he stopped, instead looking down at his lap
>Chuckling, he looked back at you with a grin
>"Adorable, feisty, and more than a little excited by the looks of it."
>Though by this point your mind was screaming at you to just rip this gorgeous stallion's clothes off and ride him until your pelvis broke you couldn't help but look down to see what me meant
>What you saw both sobered you the buck up and turned you redder than Big Mac
>Anon's entire lap and the lower part of his shirt was absolutely soaked with your... excitement...
 
>...Oh...
>Oh crud
>If Anon didn't have such a good grip on your flanks you would have launched yourself off of his lap in embarrassment
"OhsweetCelestiaI'msosorryAnon!"
>You tried to wiggle out of the human's clutches but he held you fast, laughter in his eyes
"Ididn'tmeantoruinyourpantsandshirtIpromisethatI'llbuyyousomenewonestomakeupforthefacethatI-thmp!"
>You nearly jump out of your fur when Anon's mouth mashed up against your's
>You started to struggle a little bit, more embarrassed than you had ever been in your entire life, as Anon stood up and started to carry you somewhere all the while not breaking the kiss
>You felt his tongue dart into your mouth and start to play with your tongue
>Though you didn't like it your tongue started to once again wrestle his for dominance
>...Oh who the buck were you kidding?
>You liked the kiss
>Kissing was rad
>Moaning into Anon's mouth you feel yourself melting in his arms as he carried you up a flight of stairs and into what looked like a bedroom
>Your horn lights up and begins to fiddle with his pants as he sets you down on a giant bed
>Without thinking you grabbed him and yanked him into the bed on top of you just as you managed to unbutton his pants
>This was it!
>You were in a male's house, tongue kissing a stallion in his bed
>This was your moment
>You were finally going to do it
>Time to make your ancestors proud and rut this colt's brains out
"W-Wait. wait!' you cried, breaking the kiss. "A-Anon, are you sure t-that you w-wanna do this? I d-don't want to t-take advantage of y-you because you had t-to much to d-drink."
>Anon smiles again
>"Don't you dare go and think that you're pressuring me to do anything here, Twi," he said, kissing your cheek. "This isn't the alcohol; I really want to do this."
 
>A shiver runs through your body when he kisses your neck
>"I can't think of anything better--"
>You let out a moan when he slides down a little further and kisses you right in between your neck and your collarbone
>"--than having a little fun with a spectacular little unicorn like yourself."
>Your back legs kick when he gently bites the fur on your chest before kissing it
"B-Buck..."
>You closed your eyes, savoring the sensation of Anon sliding down your body, kissing and biting and licking the whole way
>Desperate to grab onto something your hooves cling to Anon's head
>Anon looks up at you just as he reaches your lower belly and winks
>What the buck doeshethinkthathe'sdoingsweetCelestiaAAAABBBBOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE!
"A-AHHHh~!"
>Your eyes snapped open and immediately crossed when Anon's lips wrap around one of your teats
>Your hips start to buck as he started to suck
>oerignelkrfnewirbgw;iurbkerjbfeorfneo!
>ertoginefnvflwbcrwnerfwierubf!
>OhmybuckingCelestiawhatdoeshethinghe'sdoingwiththose?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
>You could feel your marehood aching for something to fill it
>More than anything you wanted Anon to stop messing around and mount you like a stallion
>You wanted to feel him spurting inside of you until you were filled to the brim
>But even more than that you wanted him to keep playing with your teats
>"H-Hmmm~ H-Harder--"
>Managing to open an eye you look down at Anon
>The fire in your belly burns just a little bit hotter when you see him sucking on your teat while looking up at your face
>Your eye snaps back shut when he lets go of it with a lewd pop and starts to suck on the other
>O-Oh yeah
>This is waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than using your hoof or a toy...
>For the next few minutes Anon continued to play with your teats, sucking them, licking them, and even gently biting them
>Those few minutes were the best and most torturous of your young life
>Eventually you couldn't handle it anymore
>You were only a mortal mare
 
With a whimper you started to nudge his head with a shaking hoof
"A-Anon, P-Please..."
>Getting the idea, Anon gave both of your rock hard and hyper sensitive teats a parting kiss before sliding the last few inches so that his mouth was just a few inches from your beyond soaked marehood
>Your eyes snapped open, watching his every moment
>His eyes snapped back up to your face as his hands found purchase on your hips
>O-Oh buck
>H-He was going to eat you o-out
>He w-was going t-to eat y-you out w-while looking up a-at you
>U-Unf...
>Your already heavy breathing starts to quicken even more as you feel Anon's hot, moist breath on your nethers
>Ohwaitabuckingminute!
>Youneededtocalmdown
>Ifyoudidn'tcalmdownyouweregoingto--
>You tried to reach down and stop Anon before it was too late
>Puckering his lips Anon leaned forward and planted a kiss on your marehood
>The kissing, the teat-playing, the gropped, and the smiling had left you at your bursting point
>That single, dirty little kiss was more than enough to send you flying past it
>Your whole body tenses and you shut your eyes nice and tight
>Your hips buck upward, crushing your cunny against Anon's face and your horn erupts with magic
>Throwing your head back you wrap your back legs around Anon's head and you cum harder than you had ever cum in your life
"BUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
>Wave after wave after wave of pleasure crashed through your body as you twitched and kicked
>You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, so hard and so fast that you were scared that it was going to burst
>It felt like you were floating on a wave of warmth
>You couldn't think
>You couldn't breathe
>You could only cum and hope that you'd be alright when it was all over
>Far too soon the pleasure stops, and with a groan you let your head flop onto the bed
 
"Holy... bucking... buck," you mumble, letting your body go limp as you caught your breath. "That... was... awesome..."
>"...Well I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Even if I didn't do all of that much..."
>...
>ANON?!
>YOU FORGOT THAT ANON WAS IN BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!!!
>OH SWEET LUNA, YOU DIDN'T HURT HIM DID YOU?!
>Your eyes snapped open and you looked down to see a cum covered Anon looking up at you in bemusement
>You were about to start yelling apologizes when he licked his lips
>"But I guess that that's my fault. Not a lot of mares can handle all that much teasing..."
>Giving your very sensitive marehood a lic-
>ERgonerfokernflkfnwoienflkrnf!
>A-A lick he gets up off his knees and stands up to his full height
>Taking off his shirt Anon wipes his fact and...
>...Are those teats?
>...
>Buck it
>You didn't care if Anon was a girl at this point
>After what he just did to you you had NO problem being a filly fooler
>"Now that we got your first cum out of the way how about we got on to the real fun huh?"
>Your eyes widen when you see a noticeable bulge in Anon's pants
>O-Oh...
>He's a male...
>Thank Celestia...
>Idly, you couldn't help but remember the silver candle holder that you had first masterbated with when you were fifteen
>It had been your great, great grandfathers and it had hurt like a MOTHERBUCKER when it broke your hymen
>After putting it inside of yourself you had bled everywhere,
>Freaking out you had rushed to your bathroom to clean it
>After realizing that you weren't going to bleed to death you had then gone back with family heirloom on hoof and had a little fun
>Pathetic?
>Probably
>But you were a horny teenager and you had figured that a candleholder was the best that you were going to get
>But, years later, here you were
>What awaited you was most certainly NOT a candleholder
>You bit your lip as Anon pulled down his pants, revealing smaller pants beneath his pants (that he was wearing for some reason...)
 
>In these thinner, looser pants you could see the bulge twitching
>You couldn't wait to see what Anon's willy looked like
>But boy were you bucking nervous about this part...
>Excitement and nervous battled for supremacy as Anon slowly pulled off his under pants
>...
>Yep
>That wasn't a candleholder
>That wasn't a candleholder at all
>Not even a little bit
>Ohmygoodnessthatthing'sgoingtogoinsideofyou!
>There must have been a look of panic on your face because Anon crawled onto the bed and wrapped you in a hug
>"Hey, if you don't want to do this we don't have to do anything more tonight," he said
>You shivered
>You could feel his thing brushing against your stomach...
>Oh my gosh, U-Unf!!!
>Returning the hug you gave him a peck on the cheek
"N-no, no, I'm j-just a little nervous is all," you said, looking up into those green eyes of his
>If you weren't careful you'd get lost in those eyes...
>Gulping, you kissed him again
"Please p-put it inside me," you begged. "P-Please make me a mare..."
>Anonymous looked at you for a moment longer, as if judging whether or not you were actually ready for this, before nodded
>"Alright, if that's what you want."
>He grabbed onto your flank again and dragged you to the edge of the bed
>Though he looked calm and collected on the outside you could see the hunger in his eyes
>He wanted more than another to just stick it in you but he was taking his time
>He wanted to make sure that you felt good...
>A smile works its way onto your face at the thought
>Heh
>This colt really is one in a million...
>"I know that ponies usually don't like doing to belly-to belly like this but I'd looking at the cutie that I'm having sex with if you don't mind~"
>D-Dolphin style?
>L-Lewd
"It's fine," you say, wiggling your hips. "N-Now could you please rut me alright?"
>Chuckling, Anon positioned himself over you
 
>"As you wish, madam."
>The tip of his cock prodded your entrance, coating it in your juices
>You wiggled your hips in a hopefully alluring way
>Alright, Twi
>You got all the excitement out of your system
>DON'T BUCKING CUM LIKE THAT AGAIN
>You wanted to make Anon feel good too, not be some two second susan!
>Anon bucked his hips just a tiny bit, letting his cock slide up your slit
>He then pulled back and grabbed the base of his cock and was about to spread your lips and enter you when you looked up at him
"A-Anon?"
>Anonymous stopped and looked at you
"D-Do you mind giving me a k-kiss while you put it i-in me? J-Just a little one?"
>You expected him to look irritated that you were dragging your hooves this much but he just smiled
>"Alright," he said leaning toward you. "Just a little one."
>You leaned up to meet him, your lips puckered
>Anon began to push into you, filling you up, but all you could think about were those soft lips of his
>And his lovely sparkling green eyes
>And the loving way that he was holding you
>...And THEN you thought about his penis
>Then you thought about it more
>And more
>And ohmygoshhestillhasn'tbottomedoutyet!
>You moaned into Anon's mouth
>Though just an inch or two of him was in you you already felt filled up but he just kept coming
>He was slow and gentle so he didn't hurt you but he just kept coming
>It was maddening, it was amazing, it was everything you had ever dreamed about and more
>Yep
>Sex was awesome
>And sex was doubly awesome when you were having it with someone that you maybe, kind, sorta, like-liked
>Your marehood twitched, inviting Anon to push even deeper into you
>Your eyelids fluttered as Anon's stallionhood slide along your inner wall, stimulating you in ways that you'd ever before imagined
 
>It was taking all of your willpower to not just cum right away
>Ohmygoshthisisbuckingamazing!
>Your back legs wrapped around Anon's hips, trying to make him go faster
>Your mind felt like it was turning into mush
>You let out another little moan when you felt Anon twitch inside of you, his eyes glazing over the deeper he sank into you
>Breaking the kiss you cupped the stallion's face and just stared into his eyes
>You wanted to see the look on his face as he bottomed out in you
>You wanted to see the look of pure bliss as he came inside of you
>You wanted all of these things and you wanted him to see that he was making you feel just as good if not better
>...And STILL he hadn't bottomed out yet
"C-Come on, Anon," you mumble. "A-All the way in. All the--epp!"
>A dull slapping sound could be heard as Anon's pelvis slapped against your's
>A groan escaped your throat
>FINALLY!
>He-- hiltafovianofvbairubfjh!
>With a groan of his own Anon gives your nose a kiss
>"You... you alright there Twilight?"
"J-Just... just g-give me a m-minute please," you replied, taking short, controlled breaths
>Whoo...
>It feels like Anon's dick is in your stomach...
>But in the best way possible
>After getting used to the cock inside of you you give Anon the nod to continue
>He does so eagerly, slowly pulling back until the tip of his cock was inside of you before thrusting back in
>With each thrust he started going faster and he started being a little less gentle
>Both of you began moaning, and your moans started to get louder and more animalistic
>Soon the bed was creaking under your lovemaking and wet, slapping sounds filled the air
>You did your best to keep your mind off of the pleasure but it was starting to become too much
>You were once again nearing your limit
 
>Your breathing was becoming shallow and your horn was starting to glow
>The fire in your belly was starting to make your body tingly
>Though you were laid awkwardly on your back you did your best to meet Anon's thrusts with your own and you tried your hardest to squeeze his cock as hard as you could, massaging and teasing the member to the best of your ability
>You figured that since you had no idea what the hay you were doing that wasn't doing much
>But you could feel Anon's cock twitching harder and harder with each thrust and his movements were becoming a little more jerky
>So you must have been doing something right
>All the while your hooves hadn't left the wonderful stallion's face
>The whole time you stared into each other's eyes as you bucked
>And it was more wonderful than you could possibly put into words
"C-Come on, Anon," you say. "You b-buck this tight p-pony pussy."
>Anon let out a groan, slamming into you
>Your back legs tightened around Anon's hips
"Come o-on, c-cum inside me. I w-wanna see the l-look on your f-face when you c-cum."
>You wanted to say more but, all of the sudden, your own finish came speeding toward you
>Holyhorseapplesyou'recumming!
>With one final moan your vision explodes into different colors
"A-ah! Oh buck! OHBUCK!"
>Your inner walls clamp down hard on Anon's still thrusting cock, trying to coax out his seed, but he keeps thrusting
>Sdfinosfbvsfdjnvnslfdkvnslkn!
>sofngvswdfibv lslskdjfvsldkfjbg vsljgbwircbflsdfkjclkjdfvnldfkfndk!
>You let got of Anon's head and let yours fall onto the bed
>"Twi! TWI!"
"...Huh? Wut?"
>"Where do you want it?"
>He's cumming?
>AWESOME!
"Inside," you mumble. "Inside!"
>Closing his eyes Anon's hips become a blur as he readies himself to cum
>Your marehood, which still hadn't recovered from your second orgasm of the night, started to clutch around Anon's member as tight as it could
 
>Oh buck
>Oh BUCK!
>You were going to cum aginsodifbealirbfr fbcaljbf!
>Hilting you a final time Anon holds you close and grunts
>You let out a squeak when you felt the first spurt of cum fire into you
>By the second you were cumming once again
>OhsweetCelestiayouweregoingtomarrythiscoltandlivehappilyeveryafterandhaveawholebunchofkidsandkisshiminthemorningandbuckbuckbuckBUCKBUCK!!!!!!
>Your vision goes dark for a moment
>The second after that you find yourself staring up at the ceiling drenched in sweat and panting very, very hard
>Anon was laying on top of you, his body weight pressing you down onto the bed, with his arms wrapped around you and his head buried in the nape of your neck
>Through a haze of exhaustion you couldn't help but smile at the sight
>Heh
>Call your pussy nyquil
>Cause it puts colts to sleep!
>...Sorry
>That was horrible...
>Reaching down you start to pet Anon's head, running your hooves through his mane
>That seems to bring the colt out of his stupor, because he lifts his head and looks at you
>Though there's a content smile on his face (thank Celestia) you could see the same look in his eyes that had been there since he saw you
>Warmth, kindness, delight
>A dorky, squiggly smile comes to your face as you haul Anon up from your neck so that the two of you were face-to-face
>The two of you wrapped arms and hooves around each other
>"Goodnight, Twilight."
>Pressing yourself as close to Anon as you could you kissed him on the cheek
>Your horn glowed, pulling the covers over the two of you
"Goodnight Anon. Don't let the bed breezies bite."
>As you closed your eyes you heard Anon tiredly chuckle
>"Sweet Christ above are you a dork."
>Your smile widened just a hair when he kissed you on the cheek
>"A cute dork but a dork nonetheless."
 
 
~.._..~
 
>The first thing that you noticed when you opened your eyes was that, like usual, you didn't have a headache after spending most of the night before slamming drinks back like Jordan slammed dunks
>Fucking pony alcohol...
>The second thing that you noticed was that there was a particular smell in the air
>It was sugary, eggy, maybe with a hint of burnt
>Someone was making, or at least trying to make, breakfast in your house
>Like a train the events of last night hit you
>Going to that horse bar with the intent of drinking until either the place was empty of booze or you died from alcohol poisoning
>Saying hello to a qt3.14 little unicorn with the biggest, most beautiful ass that you had even seen
>Talking to said unicorn for like half of the night
>Carrying like adorable little horse home and fucking her brains out like the pimp you were
>Letting your head flop down onto your pillow you take a deep breath
>Yep
>That's the smell of sex alright
>You know that smell anywhere
>And to top it all off you were naked and kind of sticky under these blankets
>So it looked like you didn't just have some weird alcohol-induced dream...
>Huh, neat
>With a groan you throw off the covers (which were probably going to need to be cleaned later today) and shuffled out of your room and toward your kitchen
>With each step the smell of food grows stronger and stronger
>As does that burnt smell
>Hopefully the little unicorn hadn't burned anything down
>...Twilight
>Twilight was her name...
>Yeah, you remember it now...
>The second that you reached the bottom of your stairs you could hear a someone humming a tune
>"Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, Sex pancakes, sex pancakes, there's nothing better than sex after pancakes..."
>You couldn't help but chuckle quietly to yourself as you walked into your kitchen
 
>There, leaning on your stove with utensils floating all around her, was Twilight herself
>Beside the little mare on your counter were a stack of pancakes
>All of them were misshapen, most of them were burnt, but even so you found yourself smiling hugely as Twilight, still humming, flipped a half finished pancake into the air
>"Sex pancakes, sex pancakes, sugary and fluffy and sweet. Sex pancakes, sex pancakes, they always taste so neat!"
>Your eyes gravitate toward Twilight's rump as she shakes it back and forth
>Sweet Jesus look at that thing...
>Unf...
>Realizing that you had been standing in the doorway of your bathroom butt naked without saying anything to your guest you figured that you should probably say something
"So are any of those sex pancakes for me? Because you're making them sound pretty rad."
>Twilight yelped, launching herself into the air
>The utensils all held up by her magic were flung around your kitchen, thankfully not breaking anything, as Twilight hit the floor with a meaty thud
>You winced, and you were about to walk over there to help the little mare up, but she was already back on her hooves
>"A-Anon?" she said, her face red with embarrassment as she spun around to face you. "What are you... why... how... you're naked..."
>You look down at yourself
"Looks like it huh?"
>Her eyes drifted down to your junk and stayed there
>...And stayed there
>...And stayed there
>This little hoers...
>Still smiling you cleared your throat
>Twilight's eyes snapped back toward your face, her blush deepening
>"G-Good morning!" she said with a smile
>Her smile twitched when she saw the mess that she had made
>"S-Sorry," she said, looking down at the floor. "I j-just wanted to make you breakfast but I usually don't cook formyselfbutIstillwantedtotrybecauseIthoughtthatbreakfastinbedwouldberomanticand--"
 
>A certain warmth fills your chest as you make your way over toward the adorable little dork
>"--IpromisethatI'llcleanthisupandleaveifI'mbotheringyouand--epp!"
>Leaning down you picked Twilight up
>She let out another yelp, looking up at you in embarrassment and confusion
>Turning off your stove you looked down at the little horse now in your arms
"Twilight, could you be a dear and grab those pancakes please?"
>"O-Okay."
>Nodding a little too fast Twilight's horn sparked to life, encasing the plate of pancakes in her magic and lifting them into the air
>Without another word you make your way into your living room
>Walking over to your lazyboy you sit down, setting Twilight in your lap
>Reaching behind you you grabbed the blanket draped over your chair
"So how are ya feeling?" you asked, opening up the blanket. "I remember that you had a lot to drink last night
>Every single muscle on the little mare was tensed as she sat in your lap
>That was until you wrapped your blanket around both her and yourself, pressing her back against your chest and wrapped your arms around your barrel
>Twilight sighed, leaning back against you
>You bit your lip as she wiggled her hips back and forth, those glorious cheeks of hers hotdogging your johnson
>If she kept doing that you were going to wreck this little mare
>And you'd do it too
>"...My head hurts a little bit," she admitted. "But after what... what happened last night it's worth it."
>The unicorn lifted her head up to look at you
>"A-Anon? Is it alright if I ask you s-something?"
"Ask me whatever you want, Twi," you answered without missing a beat
>She smiled, rubbing herself against you
>"W-Why did you pick me? T-There were a-a lot better l-looking mares in t-that club."
>She looked back down
>"N-Not many stallion's want a big butted dork like me..."
>Frowning, you spun Twilight around in your lap
>Grabbing her chin you forced her to look up at you
 
>Twilight tried to look down, her ears pinned against her head, but you didn't let her
"But you know what? Whoever else I would have picked probably wouldn't have made my night as fun as you did. They probably wouldn't have made me laugh or anything like that; they would have acted macho, they would have fucked me--"
>Leaning down you kissed Twilight on the nose
"And they would have been gone by morning."
>Smiling now you give Twilight's face a light squeeze
"I think that the second I saw you I knew that you'd be different. That you were... special."
>Twilight looks a hell of a lot happier as you kissed her nose again
"And look at you! You got up and tried to make pancakes even though you're hungover."
>You kissed her again
"But most importantly when I woke up you were still here. You were here and you said good morning."
>Sniffling, Twilight wrapped her hooves around your neck and hugged you
>Nuzzling her neck you hugged her back
>"S-So you're okay with my big butt?" she whispered
>Big butt this, big butt that
>This little pone needs to stop worrying over her assets
>Her big, wonderful, mouthwatering assets
"Can you keep a secret, Twi?"
>Twilight nodded, still holding you closely
"I might have seen that you were special when I walked over and talked with you, but it was this--"
>The mare let out a quiet gasp as you reached down and gave her flank a squeeze
>Your fingers sunk into the malleable flesh
>Oh yes
>You were fucking this dork's brains out when all of these feels were out of the way
"--This was what got me over there in the first place."
>Suddenly Twilight broke the hug, pulling away so she could look up at you with wide eyes
>"R-Really?!" she asked, excited
"Really-really," you told her
>The joy on Twilight's face when she heard that made you want to kiss the little horse again
 
>So, without another thought, you did just that
>This time though Twilight was ready, leaning up so that she could capture her lips with yours
>Though you couldn't see if, there was a thoughtful look in her eyes as the two of you kissed
 
 
>Be Celestia
"Which to pick, which to pick..."
>The Day Court had just concluded
>You had sent your assistants away
>And you were in your room getting ready to do what all super ancient mares did in the privacy of their own bedrooms
>Masterbate
>At that moment you were walking back and forth in front of your bed
>On your bed where every one of your dildos and a gallon of lube stand in a row
>And where did you get a whole gallon of lube you might be asking yourself?
>None of your bucking business was the answer to THAT question
>But anyway, there you were deciding what toy to use
>A far more difficult decision than one might think
>You had dozens of dildos of different sizes, colors, and shapes
>Sitting before you were the cocks of every creature on this planet, from the simple pony to the mighty dragon!
>Your collect had taken many, many years to collect, and you could say with the utmost certainty that you had used every single one on multiple occasions
>...
>...
>...Holy horse apples were you lonely...
>With a sigh you just snatched the first toy that caught your eye
"It looks like the two of you have a date with destiny, Ol' Faithful," you mutter, wiggling the dragon dildo back and forth
>...You wouldn't have all of these toys if you could just find yourself a stallion
>If you found a colt that'd be willing to date you you'd have as much cock as you'd need
>But therein lies the problem
>It had been centuries since you had take a stallion to your bed
>Or any male at all really
>And it sure as buck wasn't for lack of trying
>You had tried for YEARS to court somepony, and each time you did you had been rejected
 
>Not harshly or cruelly mind you, most stallions didn't want to spend a night in the dungeons, but you were rejected nonetheless
>Had that bothered you?
>Yeah, for a number of years, but you had gotten over it
>You were a very busy mare after all and one needed to spend a lot of time with their stallion if they managed to snatch one up
>But that all changed when you sister had returned
>Luna had, almost instantly, become a hit with the male populace, rutting nearly any colt that she wished
>Stallions liked a bad girl and what was badder than trying to cast the world in everlasting darkness?
>And Luna, being the loving sister that she was, started to tease you about your lack of male attention
>The blue jerk...
>And that teasing only increased when she found out about your Hent--MANGA! 
>YOUR MANGA!
>YOU DIDN"T HAVE NO DIRTY HENTAI UNDER YOUR MATTRESS!
>NOPE!
>THAT'D BE WEIRD!
>...
>So, in the face of this teasing, you had once again tried to play the field
>Tried to find a stallion to warm your bed at night
>But, just like before, you were shot down time and time and TIME again
>You were like their mom, colts said
>They had too much on their mind to start dating, others said
>I'm looking for a mare that's a little mess...bookish, you had been told
>I'm looking for a mare with a little less junk in their trunk, one brave stallion had said to your FACE
>TO
>YOUR
>FACE!
>If you didn't understand the stallions of yesteryear now they were completely alien to you
>You didn't know what to say
>You didn't know how to act around them
>AND THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR BUTT!
>IT WAS A PERFECTLY HEALTHY BUTT!
>YOU WERE A BIG MARE, IT ONLY MADE SENSE THAT YOU BUTT WAS A LITTLE BIGGER!
>SO WHAT IF LUNA HAD A TINY FLANK THAT EXCITED THE STALLIONS SO?!
>YOU HAD FEELINGS!
>YOU WERE INTERESTING!
>YOU'D HAVE A LOT TO BRING TO THE BUCKING TABLE IF SOMEPONY GAVE YOU A BUCKING CHANCE!
 
>WHYWOULDN'TTHEYGIVEYOUACHANCE?!
>...Puff
>Whatever...
>Time to get off so you could forget about being forever alone for a little while...
>Realizing that you were squeezing Ol' Faithful a little too hard with you magic you sighed again 
>Picking up one end of your mattress you pulled out one of your favorite Hen-Manga's
"Well... time to--"
 
SWOOSH!
 
>You blinked as a letter materialized in front of you with a flash of green fire
>A letter from Twilight?
>Interesting...
>It had been a while since she had sent you anything...
"What do we have here?..."
>Setting down Ol' Faithful and your gallon of lubricant you opened up the letter and began to read:
 
 
Dear Princess Celestia,
A few days ago I met a rather interesting stallion that has a very particular taste...