stream of concious writing coming through. >Be you. >December 2020 >you've kind of wanted to die since april. >y'know... >because of the thing. >You work retail so that makes it worse. >quietly sit alone in apatment. >stare at ceiling >don't remember last time you saw someone not family or a coworker >fuckit.jpeg >make a phone call. >say a few codewords to the dude on the line >get "Him" talking to you >Tell him you need a fucking break and something new. >He tells you to meet him at the abandoned bowling alley in two hours. >spend the next hour pacing before grabbing your coat, mask, and keys. >drive across town. >He's waiting for you. >haven't been in the bowling alley since it got raided. >it's had it's grand re-opening twice since then >he leads you into the back. >Graffiti is everywhere. >rotted stuff toys >empty water bowls. >he hands you a small pill container. >tells you it's "The New formula" >What are they calling it? >GRFN >open container, joints. >wat.png >tells you it "runs through the system faster" when inhaled. >make a comment about being worried about lung disease >he tells you to stop being a bitch before tossing you a zippo with a yin-yang symbol on it. >Sit down on a moldy couch. >light up. >inhale. >never done weed or anything like that, don't know if you're doing it right. >hold it in for a few seconds >cough out a slightly pink-ish smoke >concern. >repeat the process until it's easier. >melt into couch. >metaphorically. >I know what thread I'm writing for. >you look up at the dealer and go "how do I know it's work...oh." >full blown >all over >body itch. >thanksIhateit.jpg >realise you've basically inhaled the whole blunt >the melted feeling turns into a weird "rebuilding" feeling as you look at your hands, blending together and reshaping." >shoulder blades are screaming at you >thought this shit would make you sleep through the change >Scream at dealer. >The noise that comes out of your mouth is something mixed between a loud, ugly, orgasm, and the sound equivalent to a dog having it's leg stepped on >pretty sure your legs ripped your pants to shreds >yell at dealer to "fucking do something!" in a voice that grows increasingly feminine as your swollen body parts shrink, ripped clothes becoming baggier than you're used to as you roll on the couch. >pretty sure your dick is gone. >accidentally throw yourself off the couch. >hit the back of your head You are dreaming. Calm. Your dancing with a cute pony to a very lively recording of swing music playing out of a record player. Your wings flap with the rhythm a bit every now and again. She smiles at you. You smile are her. You kiss each other on the dance floor. >You Wake up >the dealer is a man of culture and has you loosely bundled up in a soft blanket. >slowly push yourself up. >Claws. >paws. >long tail. >This is your brain on GRFN >Dealer notices your awake >helps you off the couch >walks along side with you to a mirror propped against a wall in another room. >You look like some mix between a Snow Oil and a Persian cat. >kinda nice. >Dealer picks you up. >carries you back to room with couch >you both chill there for hours. >third dude brings burger king >chill with fries. >sleep over at bowling alley >for the first time in forever sleep without an ounce of depression or existential fear. >wake up next day as your old self >shake hands with dealer while saying thank you. >agree to another meeting >go home >watch pony show. >for first time in a very long time >All is right with the world.