>"Wub, wub, wub, wub, wub." >You watched as the flank in front of you swayed side-to-side, rhythmically, hypnotically >"Wuba wuba dub." >Each cheek was about the size of your head >There was a bit more chub on this flank than some of the other mares, but there was still more than enough muscle in it to give the butt that was being wiggled in front of you shape >Amazing, amazing shape >The flesh rippled and jiggled with each pop of the hips, the red j-string that was mare was wearing doing nothing to cover her flank up in any way >"Wub, wub, wub." >Ponville's one and only DJ, a DJ who knew EXACTLY what she was doing with all of that flank waving, looked back at you >"You fellas alright back there?" she asked, her blood red eyes filled with mischief. "You haven't said too much since you came over here." >... >Why was it always the white mares? >First Redheart and Rarity now Vinyl >Were all ponies with white coats just genetically dispositioned to have big, beautiful butts or was it just like that in Ponyville? >Vinyl bucked her hips >Her rump lifted up into the air a bit before her cheeks slammed together, causing a satisfying clapping sound >Anon put a hand over his heart >"You know, Tavia's been getting on me about eating so much junk food," Vinyl said, moving her butt in a circular motion. "She keeps telling me that no stallion is going to want a mare with a big ol' flank like this." >Mr. Cake awkwardly coughed as Vinyl's tail "accidentally" flicked out of the way, revealing that her panties covered NOTHING >Nothing at all >A grin came to Vinyl's face >"What do you fella's think? Should I stop eating junk food and start going to the gym? Or do you like this big ol' flank of mine~?" >You don't break contact with Vinyl's flank as you cocked your hoof back and punched Anon right in his thigh >The human yelped, hopping into the air before he fell flat on his back >He rolled around a bit, cursing like a sailor, before he went quiet >"...Thank you Caramel," he mumbled >You nodded, eyeballing the bulge in his pants before looking away "Don't mention it. Now do you need me to--" >"Now call me a bad monkey." "--TO hit you again or are you alright?" >Anon looked up at the sky as he collected himself, rubbing the leg that you hit >"...No. No. I think I'll be alright," he said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off >With his hands on his hips he looked down at the grinning DJ >"I don't suppose that Octavia knows that you're here, does she Vinyl?" he asked >Vinyl shook her head >"Nope!" she chirped, a grin on her face. "Octy's in Manehattan for a concert!" >Anon's eyes narrowed as he looked her rump over >"...Those panties wouldn't happen to be her's would they?" >"...I have no idea what you're talking about. But, curiousity's sake, what would make you think that?" >"Octavia's name is on the tag, Vinyl." >Vinyl's nose scrunched up >"Is it?" >Her horn glowed, and with a pop the panties teleported off her rump and reappeared in front of her >She scrutinized the garment for a few moments before frowning >"Why the BUCK would you put your name on a pair of panties?" she mumbled to herself as Anon knelt beside her >"Probably so that her roommate doesn't try to steal them when she's out of town," he answered, straightening out her tail with a hand >Though most mares would tense up or let out a groan or a squeak at getting their tail pulled Vinyl barely seemed to notice it, her snozzle still scrunched up as she stared at the panties with narrowed eyes >"Well if that was Tavia's plan it didn't work out so well," she muttered, widening her stance as Anon placed his hands on the top of her rump. "I managed to steal them pretty well." >"You know that she doesn't like you stealing her shit, Vinyl." >Vinyl snorted >"I'm gonna clean them when this is all over! And besides, if she didn't want me to borrow 'em then she should have hidden them--epp!" >You couldn't help but bite your lip as Vinyl's flank jiggled from Anon's slap >Whoo... >You could get behind that extra little chub on a mare now that you thought about it... >"Alright... It looks like you aren't using any magic..." Anon murmured, rubbing his chin >Vinyl glared at him >"What the buck was that for?!" she demanded >"That's what you get for nearly giving me a fucking heartattack you tease," Anon smartly replied >He looked over at Spark Plug >"Hey Sparky, why don't you come over here and help me with the judging?" >Spark Plug, who had been eyeing Vinyl's rump harder than any of you, jumped a bit in surprise >"W-What?" >"Come over here and help me with the judging," Anon repeated, gesturing him forward with a finger. "Time Turner, Thunderlane and Caramel over there got their turn touching mare's behinds; I figured that you'd want in on some groping action." >Spark Plug's eyes widened >"O-Oh, no thank you," he said, a blush coming to his face as he quickly looked away. "I-I'm alright." >Anon leaned over to Vinyl and whispered something, causing the mare to giggle, before he got back to his feet and made his way over to the pegasus >"Come on, none of that," he said, reaching down >"Anon, seriously, I'm fine with just-- ANON! PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" >Though Spark Plug did his best to squirm out of Anon's grasp the human would not be denied, carrying the pegasus over and plopping him down in front of Vinyl's rump >Spark Plug froze as the DJ, giving Anon a wink, began to wave her flank in his face >"I um, ho, ha, heh..." >Crouching back down, Anon patting him on the back >"Come on, it's not that bad. Vinyl even took her panties off herself so the hard parts done. Now how about you start and I'll keep an eye out to make sure that you do the judging right?" >Spark Plug took a half step away, biting his lip >"Aw come on, I won't bite," Vinyl promised. "Come back over here and help Anon judge this big ol' flank of mine." >Spark Plug was always the shy one in your group >Though he was a good looking stallion and easily got the attention of a lot of mares he hadn't really been confident enough to really talk or interact with any of them; no matter how much he seemed to want to >But now? >Now you could see his natural shyness fighting with want >Needy, lusty want >Vinyl popped her flank up again, and another clap filled the air >Blushing like there was no tomorrow and with his ears pinned back against his head, Spark Plug finally gave in >"A-Alright! I'll help y-you out, Anon," he mumbled, stepping forward so that he was side-to-side with Anon >Speaking of the human, he looked absolutely pleased as punch, winking at Vinyl before patting Spark Plug on the back >... >You and the fellas couldn't help but find yourselves smiling >Aw... this was really sweet of Anon... >"That's the spirit! Now what do we have to look for first when judging a flank?" >"W-We have to see if her fur's trimmed and clean by touching her f-flank?" >Anon nodded as Spark Plug slowly lifted his hooves toward the mass of flank in front of him >He looked at the human for conformation that what he was doing was right >Anon nodded once more, encouraging him with a hand motion >Spark Plug gulped, making eye contact with Vinyl's flank as he placed his hooves on it >Vinyl tensed a bit >"Whoo, those are some COLD hooves," she joked >Almost immediately Spark Plug removed his hooves from her flank >"I'mreallysorryitsjustthatit'skindofcoldouthereandIhave--" >Vinyl let out another eep as Anon slapped her rump again, a frown on his face >"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the DJ said, wincing as she rubbed her rump. "I was just teasing! I WAS JUST TEASING!" >Anon gave the mare a look before he looked over toward Spark Plug >"Don't mind Scratchy; she's a little funny in the head," he said, all smiles once more. "It makes her say all sorts of silly things." >"Hey! I'll have you know that--epp!" >You could see hand marks start to form on Vinyl's flanks, and from the look on her face you could tell that Anon's smacks hurt just as much as they looked >"I mean... YEAH! Yep, I have a whole bunch of things wrong with my noggin! I couldn't be normal if I tried!" >Despite the fact that he looked like he was about ready to run away, Spark Plug let out a weak giggle >"O-Oh... hehe..." >Anon patted him on the back again >"She'll be good this time, Sparky," he told him. "Go ahead and put those hooves to work." >Once again Spark Plug lifted up his hooves toward Vinyl's flank, gently placing them on the massive cheeks >This time Vinyl, with the threat of Anon's slaps hanging over her head, decided to keep her mouth shut, though you could tell that she wanted to tease Spark a bit more >Anon nodded, looking pleased >"Alright, now don't be afraid to really give those flanks a squeeze," he said. "Sometimes it's a little hard to feel any clumps or untidy fur." >From the look on Spark Plug's face you doubt that he heard a word that Anon had just said >He had all of his attention on Vinyl's flank, his deep violet eyes as wide as you have ever seen them >Spark Plug gave each cheek a little squeeze, watching as his hooves sunk into the mass of muscle and fat >Vinyl let out a throaty giggle >"Yeah... Just like that~" she murmured >Spark Plug slowly began to explore Vinyl's flank, moving from one place to another >At one point he had his hooves spread out so wide that it looked like he was hugging her flank >At another he nearly had his hooves together just pinching and squeezing >As he did this Anon just knelt there quietly keeping his hands to himself >Every once in a while he'd mutter something to the stallion that you couldn't quite make out but other than that he was silent >Vinyl was the complete opposite, egging him on or letting out a lewd moan here or there, wiggling her butt all the while >Spark Plug's breathing quickly became ragged, and just like with Derpy you noticed that he had popped out of his sheath for the world to see >His groping started to become more aggressive, his nostrils flaring >Soon it was too much for him, and with a wild look in his eyes he started rubbing his face against Vinyl's flank >The unicorn giggled, pressing her flank against his face >"There you go, big guy," she cooed, rubbing her cheeks against his nose. "Just like that~" >From ten feet away you could hear Spark Plug let out a snort, his eyes slightly glassy as his nuzzles slowly started edging toward Vinyl's tail >Was he?... >Oh sweet Celestia no... >You were about to shout out to him, but just as Spark Plug was about to stick his muzzle under Vinyl's tail Anon pulled him back >"Easy there big fella," he said. "Last time I checked public indecency is my thing not yours." >That seemed to snap Sparky out of it >Slowly blinking, Spark Plug looked at Anon >"I-I, um... o-oh..." >With a blush returning to his face, he then looked at Vinyl, who looked just a little hot under the color >"I-I'm sorry, Vinyl, I d-didn't--" >"Whoo... there's nothing to... be sorry about, handsome," the DJ interrupted. "Nothing at... whoo... all." >Anon hummed thoughtfully >"Hey, Vinyl, do you and Tavia have a coltfriend?" >Giving her backside a little wiggle, Vinyl shook her head >"Nah, but we were... in the market for... one." >She looked over her shoulder at Sparky, who smiled shyly at her >The mare winked and the pegasus let out a giggle >Aw... >Anon cleared his throat, nudging Spark Plug in the ribs before handing him his marker >"Why don't you do the honors and give Vinyl her score, Sparky?" >Spark Plug looked down at the marker >"A-Alright," he said with a smile, picking up the marker and uncapping it >As he brought it toward Vinyl's flank Anon got up, dusted himself off and walked over to you >"Looks like we got our first ten, huh?" he said to nopony in particular >You nodded "Yep, it looks like it," you said >You and the fellas all watched as Vinyl, with a ten on her flank, let out a cheer, spinning around and pulling Spark Plug into a hug >Spark Plug looked about ready to faint, though he was wearing the biggest smile that you think you've ever seen on his face >A warm grew in your chest as you watched the adorable little scene unfold in front of you "That was a nice thing that you did, Anon," you said, looking up at him >"I have no idea what you're talking about," Anon said, inspecting his fingernails. "I just wanted a little break from all of the judging." >The smile on your face grew as you bumped him with your rump "Well, since you had your "break" why don't we go onto the next m-m-ma..." >... >... >... >Oh sweet Celestia above... >How did you not see that... that THING before?! >Amethyst Star's chest puffed out when she caught you all staring >"You colts take a good look," she said. "Take a REALLLLLLY good look." >Now, you knew Amethyst Star >You and her weren't BFF's but you were familiar with the mare >Her butt really wasn't anything to write home about, and while you didn't make it a point to stare at any mare's flank you've seen her's enough to give her a six or seven out of ten >Maybe an eight if you were feeling REALLY generous >It seemed that the unicorn knew that she was lacking in the flank department too, and had gone to GREAT lengths to improve her situation >And, as you look at what her flank had become, you could honestly say that she didn't do a very good job at it >Not a very good job at all >It was easy to see that the mare had used some sort of spell on herself to make her flank bigger >The thing was easily twice the size of the biggest mare that you had judged; almost balloon-like in its appearance >From what you've seen with the other mares that had tried their hooves at cheating they had used illusion magic or had stuffed their panties or something along those lines, but Amethyst here looked different >The bad kind of different... >You don't know what kind of spell that she had used on herself, and , if you were being honest with yourself, you kind of didn't want to know >... >Hopefully she ACTUALLY used magic on herself rather than doing something gross like inflating her butt with helium or air or something... >... >You really, really, really, REALLY hoped that she didn't do anything like that... >Celestia help you >Anon let out a snort as he scratched his chin >From behind you you could hear Thunderlane and Time Turner doing their best to stifle their giggles >You, as you continued to stare at this ridiculous flank, couldn't help but feel yourself start to giggle as well >Since she couldn't look over her flank at you and since you were being too quiet for her to hear your laughter, Amethyst took your "silence" as awe >"Yeah, I usually don't like to come out and shame a bunch of fillies but when I heard that a competition like this was going on I figured I'm come out and show you fellas what my momma gave me," she said, giving her behind a shake >While most flanks would have jiggled this particular flank wobbled, the cheeks bouncing together like a pair of big rubber balls that were trapped in a really big pillow >You let out a loud guffaw at the thought, quickly covering your mouth with both of your hooves >Y-You could p-practically hear the 'bong" when her cheeks slapped together >... >... >... >PFFFFFFFFFFFF! >And just like the dam broke >You hooves went to your belly and you threw your head up as you began to laugh hard >This sent off the rest of the boys >"...What are you laughing at?" Amethyst demanded, trying to turn around so that she could look at you >Since her flank was so big however all she managed to do was knock the mare beside her off of her hooves, sending her crashing into the mare next to her >This time you actually heard the 'bong' "S-Sweet Celestia, look at that--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" >You leaned against Anon, tears streaming down your face >To your left you watched as Time Turner fell to his side, clutching his stomach as his legs kicked >"WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?!" Amethyst demanded, knocking mares left and right with her flank as she tried to turn around. "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY FLANK! NOTHING! NOT--" >Somehow, Amethyst's flank bounced against the ground, sending the mare high into the air with a yelp >"BUCKING!--" >Her hooves wildly kicked as she bounced again before landing heavily onto her back >Both you and Anon fell to the ground in a heap, struggling to breath as you laughed >From behind you you could also hear mares cracking up as Amethyst, as red as could be, tried to get to her hooves, an act that she spectacularly failed at because so was so bottom heavy >"WILL SOMEPONY HELP ME? I CAN'T BUCKING GET UP BECAUSE OF MY HUGE, AMAZING FLANK!" >Over the laughter you could hear Amethyst growl >"IT'S REAL DAMMIT! MY FLANK IS BUCKING REAL! THIS IS ALLLLL ME!" >In her anger her butt cheeks tensed, making a sound that sounded awfully close to two bouncy balls rubbing to- >T-To-- >HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! >OH SWEET CELESTIA! >HOW DID SHE THINK THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? >JUST LOOK AT THAT THING! >It took a while, but eventually you all stopped laughing and helped Amethyst to her hooves >She, of course, got a zero because she had cheated, something which she wasn't too happy about but she had no say in the matter because there wasn't a single pony here that would take her side >With that, tears still on your faces and your stomachs hurting, you continued on with the mares >There weren't very many cheaters after Amethyst, but there weren't very many mares that deserved to get a ten like Vinyl >And to be fair you think that she probably deserved more of a nine than a straight up ten >Having a flank that was considered the middle of the road meant that there wasn't really a whole bunch of flanks that stood out to you >There just wasn't enough unicorns in Ponyville for you to REALLY pick from, so you probably weren't getting the best that unicorn kind had to offer, and because you had already judged the earth pony and pegasi flanks you were a bit spoiled on butts >But you eventually did decide to give it to a few more mares that you would consider having a ten out of ten flank >Apple Stars had a really good flank, as did Ballad and Banana Fluff >Beyond's flank was also something impressive >After clearing the rest of the unicorns off of the "stage", Anon had told the mares to put their panties back on >You had expected him to have something brought forward or pull something out of that jacket of his but all he did was draw a circle in the dirt >It wasn't a very big circle, maybe twenty or thirty hooves across >But that was it >No props, no cups, nothing >"Alright! First I want to congratulate you all on becoming our finalists for the unicorns," Anon say, standing in front of the remaining mares with a smile. "Just like with the other finalists you should hold your heads up high after this is all over." >Turning away from the mares Anon stepped into the middle of the circle >"Now, I bet you're all wondering what the heck this is about," he said, gesturing to the lines that he had drawn with a stick. "Could you ladies please step into the circle with me for a moment?" >Though they looked at each other in confusion the mares did as he asked >"Good! Now, here's what your competition is: You wanna knock the other mares out of this circle so that you're the only one standing." >Anon bumped Banana Fluff's rump with his own >The mare bit her lip, her eyes becoming cloudy >... >Okaaay... >That's just a little weird... >"The only thing that you can use is your rump. No magic, no legs, no heads or withers; only rump power will win you the day in this ring!" >Anon stepped out of the ring as the mares began eyeing each other >"If you ladies could please find a place at the edge of the circle I'd be more than happy to count you down." "What does this have to do with unicorn flanks?" you asked. "Aren't these supposed to broadcast the race's natural abilities or something >"I couldn't think of what unicorns could do so I decided to pick this," Anon whispered, leaning toward you >You frowned >"Hey, YOU try setting all of this up and still have time to think of decent shit for the finalists to do," Anon said before standing back up and clapping his hands together >"Alright! Get ready ladies!" >The mares tensed, crouching down as they eyeballed each other >"On your mark!" >Knees were bent and flanks were wiggled >"Get set!" >Banana Fluff licked her lips and Vinyl made kissy faces at the mare on the opposite side of her >"GO!" >The five finalists launched themselves forward >Ballad spun around and rammed her flank into Apple Star's face >The mare counterattacked by slapping the butt away with her butt and driving the mare off balance by dumping her hard in the side >Banana Fluff and Beyond went after Vinyl, who appeared set on standing her ground in the center of the ring >They both tried ramming into her in every direction but Vinyl didn't move except to send one of the mares careening through the air with a flick of her hips >Each time she did so her attackers were up in an instant charging her >This was... odd >You almost felt like somepony should be taking bets... >... >Was that weird? Thinking like that? >You kind of felt like it was weird... >For minutes the butt battle continued >Apple Star and Ballad fought on every single inch of the ring, both of them nearly stepping out of or being forced out of the ring but both of them saving themselves at the last minute >Though Vinyl seemed like an immovable force Banana Fluff and Beyond were persistent >Though were was sweat dripping down their faces and they were breathing hard they launched themselves at Vinyl with more and more force and with greater and greater frequency >The wet, meaty slapping of flanks hitting body parts grew louder as Vinyl was slowly pushed back inch by inch >You could see a look of panic on Vinyl's face >She tried to step forward, tried to attack one of her attackers, but each time she did it one of the mares was hitting her, driving her back and nearly knocking her off balance >The only thing that the DJ could do was dig her heels in and stand firm as she waited for one of them to make a mistake >While that was going on, Apple Star was driving Ballad toward the edge of the ring >Though Ballad was faster Apple Star had more weight that she could bring so bare, so with each bump the bigger, stronger mare drove the weaker, smaller one backward >You, along with most of the crowd, leaned in as Ballad was within a foot of the edge of the circle >Apple Star, seeing that victory was within her grasp, let out a bellowing war cry and charged forward >Ballad stood her ground, bracing herself... >...Or at least that was what you thought, before she stepped out of the way at the last minute, sticking her hoof out >Apple Star tumbled out of the ring with an "omph!" landing on her back as the crowd cheered >As you all cheered for her though, Vinyl was also at the edge of the ring, looking tired and exhausted, breathing hard as her legs shook >"Come on... you buckers," she croaked to the equally tired mares ganging up on her. "I'll get you... both right the... buck here." >With a snarl Beyond launched herself forward >Banana Fluff wasn't far behind, looking like she was about to smack a filly >Vinyl puffed her chest out, letting out a loud whinny as the two came baring down on her >"LETS GO!" she roared, spinning around and presenting her butt to the two. "THIS FLANK IS GONNA SEND YA TO THE MOON!" >Beyond leapt into the air and spun around >Vinyl, seeing this, cocked her butt back and tensed her cheeks >Beyond's eyes widened at the sight, and she tried to stop herself, but it was no use >Vinyl, using every bit of her big ol' flank, slammed herself into Beyond, sending the unicorn FLYING through the air toward the crowd, where she was caught by a group of mares >Though Vinyl had managed to beat her first attacker her move had put her off balance >Banana, seeing this, spun herself around and bumped her flank against the DJ's >Though it didn't have as much force behind it as many of her other attacks did, the butt smack was just enough to knock Vinyl out of the circle face-first, her flanks wobbling in the breeze >The crowd roared once more, and even you couldn't help but let out a cheer >Banana stumbled but managed to righten herself so that she could turn around to face Ballad, who had been watching their little battle while she had caught her breath >Smart mare >Banana, panting like a race horse (...and NO, that's not racist) glared at the mare, who glared right back >Though you could tell that Ballad just wanted to charge in while Banana was exhausted she was still standing dangerously close to the edge of the circle >No matter how rested she was if she made a mistake Banana would send her over the line just like she had with Apple Star >So the two just stared at each other, both of them desperately trying to catch their breath >As they did this the crowd worked themselves into a frenzy, shouting insults, encouragements, and everything in between >You also was bits being exchanged >...With Anon being the bet jockey >...Bucking Anon... >"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" >Banana threw herself forward >Growling, Ballad sprinted forward a second later >Though they couldn't build up the speed you were sure that wanted when they spun around and slammed their rumps together the sound rippled throughout the crowd >You could see the strain on the mares faces as he pushed against each other >It looked like they weren't going to be doing anymore running around >This last fight looked like it was going to be fought in the middle of the ring with both of the finalists trying to push the other out >This was where it was going to be interesting >Both mares were about the same size, and both were tired from the earlier fighting >The one that was the one that wanted it more >... >Heh >You almost sounded like one of those sports announcers or something... >Banana bucked her hips, pulling back before slamming her rump against the rump of Ballad >Ballad growled, bucking right back >This went on for what felt like hours, each mare pushing and shoving but not giving an inch, until there was a shift >Banana bucked her hips and slammed her butt against Ballad's butt, causing Ballad to stagger back >Before the mare could situate herself , Banana bounded over and slammed her again, and again, and again until she had driven the mare to the edge of the circle >Ballad, looking like she was about to fall over, tried one last time but drive her attacker back with a weak booty bump, but Banana would not be denied >With one final yell, Banana slammed her butt into Ballad, sending the mare over the line and to the ground >Before Ballad had hit the dirt every single one of you threw back your heads and began cheering >Whoo... >You take back what you said about this being a stupid idea >You weren't a sporty colt and even you got a kick out of watching this! >Anon began walking forward, no doubt with the intent to hoist the mare onto his should, when Banana's horn glowed >POP! >The mare disappeared as a puff of smoke surrounded her >A second later the smoke dispersed, revealing Lyra motherbucking Heartstrings >... >... >... >WHAT?! >HOW THE BUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?! >Anon's eyes widened as the harpists, a grin on her face, launched herself toward him >"ANON!" she yelled, tacking the human and sending the two of them into the ground in a heap. "IT WAS ME! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! I WAS BANANA FLUFF!" >The second that he was on the ground Anon began trying to throw the crazy green unicorn off of him >"GODDAMMIT, LYRA! WILL YOU STOP WITH THE CHAMELEON SHIT?! >Lyra tried grabbing his hands but Anon quickly booped her >Her nose scrunched up but she continued to fight on >"NEVER!" >The two rolled around for a bit, hands and hooves flying everywhere >"I AM BANANA FLUFF, ANON! I'M ALSO BUBBLE POP, TWINKLE LIGHT, AND DIAMOND SHINE!" >"GET OFF OF ME YOU CRAZY HORSE!" >"I WAS ALL OF THE MARES! ALL OF THEM!" >"BONBON? BONBON?! YOU LET YOUR FUCKING MAREFRIEND OUT OF YOUR SIGHT AGAIN!" >"YOU'RE RESISTANCE IS ONLY GOING TO MAKE ME PLAY WITH YOUR HANDS HARDER, ANON!" >"YOU'RE A FUCKING LOON!" >"A BUCKING LOON AND A MASTER OF DISGUISE! NOWLETMEPLAYWITHYOURHANDSYOUBUCKINGSLUT!!!