Transferred from https://pastebin.com/dmFF9qp3 Originally published MAR 22ND, 2016 >You live in Ponyville, and the only place to get clothing without going on a fucking adventure is Rarity's place >Except Rarity is a dirty, dirty horse and doesn't listen. >She sells you clothes really cheap, but they are always way, way more erotic than needed. >At this point you would kill for normal, comfy underwear and not the sparkling studded lacey shit Rarara rarars in her rararacave. >It would be nice if you didn't have to take a day-long train ride just to shop around, and shopping around while being an alien is a whole other thing entirely.. >One day, an associate of Rarity arrives in town. >Supposedly she is half her worker, half franchisee, half student, all fashion horse. >She looks way less pervy though. That's a plus. >Taking your chances, you corner her away from Rarararara and place an order for some REAL UNDERPANTS at last. >You know that kind of boxers, that are, like, really big? >The kind that makes you feel like you're going commando? >The kind your dad wore at home. >And sometimes used to mop up a spill on floor >And then dad wore them again be cause he gave zero fucks at all You miss the old fart >The soft, 0% fancy ass, cock and ball privacy guards. >You explain your forbidden desires to Coco. After taking some quick measurements, she agrees. >"Anonymous, I can't promise anything, but I will try and do it by next week." *** >A week later, Coco is in town again to discuss some horse clothing shit with Rarity >You don't give a fuck, you just need your dadpants >You barge into Rarara's rarousel rarotique >"Welcome to Carousel Bout--" ""Did you bring the stuff?" >"Anonymous, darling, it's not that I don't like seeing you, quite the contrary, but-" "Coco! Do you have THEM?" >"Yes, Anonymous, just let me-" >You grab the parcel and head to a changing booth >"...Coco, Anonymous? What is happening? Mon Chere, you commissioned clothing and didn't tell your good friend Rarity? Am I not good enough--" >Ignoring everything, you drop your pants and tear the package apart. >Inside are the most... plain-looking pink underpants you've ever seen. >"Anonymous? I must admit that I chose a color that I've heard you might not like, but, ..but you told me that you don't care how they look, and this was the softest fabric I could get!" "Blue, yellow pink, whatever, I just need proper pants" >It's closer to salmon anyway. >God they're soft. They are so soft it makes you want to rub your face in them. >Your balls can't wait any longer, and you put the underpants on. *** >Oh. > ...ooh. >Oh my god. >There are no atheists in these pants. >It's completely unlike the shit Squiggletail tries to pull. >It feels like a gentle angel is protecting your scrotum from the harsh realities of the world. >Taking a few tentative steps, you feel your junk rub against the soft fabric. >Or, rather, barely feel it. >It's like you're wearing nothing at all, and the air around you just stays warm and opaque out of courtesy and respect. >Are these pants that good, or are your poor jimmies so rustled by Rarity's designs that even normal pants feel like this? >There is only one thing to be done. >You pull the privacy curtain away and come out, half-naked as you are. >"Coco, really, is that the best you could possibly do? It looks like you just draped a sack-" "Shut up." >Rarity looks like she noticed a dead fly in her morning coffee >Coco... like she is about to cry. "Coco Pommel" >"A-a-anonymous?..." >Unable to contain yourself, you kneel before her, and take her hoof in your hands. >Is this what love feels like? "Coco Pommel, I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my cock and balls." >Coco is beet-red with lewd >Rarity is beet-red with jelly >Today was a "perhaps horsemarriage isn't that bad an idea after all" day