>Day COFFEE in Equestria
>You are tired. So very, very tired.
>Only one thing can save you from this sluggish hellhole you find yourself trapped in.
>That glorious black liquid.
>The kettle's boiling right now.
>You make instant coffee because FUCK YOU.
>Suddenly a Rainbow Dash hovering in your kitchen.
>"Hey dude what yo-" she says before you cut her off with a swift palm in front of her snout.
"Shush!" 
>Your stare at the kettle grows more intensive as the seconds tick by.
>If your eyes were flamethrowers you'd have burnt a hole to Pony-China by now.
>Just as well they aren't, because that would be stupid.
>"Anon, come on man, you're freakin' me out here!" Rainbow begs, hoping for some sort of reply.
"Coffee."
"Brain no work good."
>Uh oh, that isn't good, you lost higher levels of speech.
>This damn coffee better be done soon.
>"Ah, right. I gotcha." she says, understanding creeping into her voice, "Why didn't you just go see Pinkie? She always has a pot brewing."
>...
>Pinkie?
"OF COURSE!"
>Your face breaks out into the most ridiculous grin you've ever had the fortune to never see.
"PINKIE!" you shout, turning to Rainbow Dash.
>You grab her by the shoulders.
"TAKE ME TO THE PINK ONE!" you yell, somehow louder than the shouting.
>You walk towards the door, still holding Rainbow in mid-air by her shoulders.
>"Uh, Anon? You ca-"
>*BANG CRACK SMASH*
>You kick the door right off it's hinges.
"That door was shit anyway." you cry out.
>Rainbow just gives you a look that seems like she's trying to poop.
>Or maybe it's her *niggayouforreal?* face.
>You never could tell.
>With no time to lose you break out into a sprint.
>You speed through PonyVille like a bat out of hell, making all the drunks heading home try and fail miserably to look in wonder.
>Oh that's right, you were supposed to go out drinking with Rainbow.
>Drink later coffee now.
>"Aw man, the bars closed now. What have you been DOING all night?" she asks accusingly.
"Masturbating."
>Smooth.
>"Oh, uuuh, okay. Would you mind putting me down so I can cut all my fur off and have an acid bath?"
>Eh? What?
"No time for your nonsense Dashie! COFFEE!"
>You are closing in on the Pink one's cave of coffee.
>Rainbow gets tossed like a rugby ball right through Pinkie's window.
>You hear Pinkie through the smashed up window.
>Sounds like she's awake now anyway.
>Excellent.
>PP:"Hiya Dashie! What brings you dropping by?"
>You leap towards the wall and scale it in record time, no doubt doing your distant ancestors proud.
Doing a dive roll through her window you land in front of her, on her bed.
>She's tucked in and has the cutest nightcap on.
"PINK ONE! I REQUIRE COFFEE!"
>PP:"Hiya Anon! Sure, one fresh cup of coffee coming riiiight up!"
>She pulls a pot of coffee out of her mane, it's boiling hot.
>You long ago learned never to question her methods.
>A mug is placed in your hand, and some of that delectable brown nectar is poured into it.
>Sugar and milk are also added because shut up it's how you like it.
>You drink the whole thing in one gulp.
>A warm, fuzzy feeling spreads from your throat and stomach all through your body.
>PP:"All better Nonny?" she queries, all sunshine and rainbows.
"Yes."
>RD:"Can we go drinking nooow? Or do you have to clop some more?" she smirks.
>PP:"Ooooh, Nonny was cloppin'?" she is beaming now.
"Yeah sure, why not. Say Pinkie? Do you want to get really drunk with me and Dashie?"
>Rainbow rolls her eyes at the nickname.
>PP:"How is that even a question? Of course I do silly!"
>Sweet.
"Dashie can you get the booze from my house? You know where it's at."
>She should, she has to keep stocking it up.
>RD:"Why can't your lazy flank go?" she huffs.
"Because you are faster, now mush!" you reply, a whip crack sounding out from somewhere, probably Pinkie.
>RD:"Oh yeah, duh."
>She's off like a shot.
"So Pinkie, more coffee?" you suggest.
>"Absolutely!" she beams, pouring more milky coffee with enough sugar in it to fuel the sun for a week.
>You drink this one in a single gulp too.
>That lovely fuzzy feeling comes back.
>Rainbow blasts back through the window.
>She is covered in soot, and has saddlebags full of alcohol.
>RD:"So, uh, hey dude. You know you never turned off your kettle right?"
>Oh shit.
>RD:"Well, uh, I'm not sure how to say this, but your house kinda burned down. I managed to save the booze though."
"Ah well, we have what really matters booze and coffee."
>PP:"And each other!"
"Ugh, yes and each other. Now shut up and drink."
>PP:"Nonny if you need a place to sleep, you can crash here. You too Rainbow."
>RD:"In the same bed?" she jokes.
"Alright, if you want."
>PP:"YIPPEE!!"

>It was the warmest sleep you've ever had.