(Author's Note: Original paste was https://ponepaste.org/3029 , but was marked as posted by guest after I edited it with an update.) (AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: THIS IS ABANDONED AND WILL NEVER BE FINISHED) >Be Twilight Sparkle. >Hey girls, you ever wonder why Anon is always alone? >Five heads turn towards the table to the left of theirs. >"Well if *my* fashion sense" Rarity points to herself in an exaggerated motion before pointing to the solitary man, "was as atrocious as *his*, I wouldn't want to be seen in public!" >"Don't be so cruel, Rarity. Maybe he's just an introvert." You say. >Fluttershy blinks. >"Introverts need friends too..." >You think for a moment. >"Hey, here's an idea! Why don't we invite him out with us this weekend?" >Fluttershy smiles, but Rarity speaks before Fluttershy gets a chance to. >"Well he *could* benefit from a talking-to about his clothing choice" >Applejack speaks next. >"I reckon everybody needs a friend or two" >"It's settled then! I'll go talk to him." >Little did your friends know, you have an ulterior motive. >You've heard what they say about canadians... >Be Anon. >Chilling at your table listening to Tonetta's 777 Vol III. >You feel like the luckiest motherfucker in the world every single lunch period. >You've always hated talking to other people, though you usually didn't let them know it. >At your old school you constantly had people bothering you, asking to hang out and go to parties and whatnot. >Sure, you went and had fun. >But it's nothing compared to this. >The peace! The quiet! The utter pleasure that is chilling all alone, perving at babes! >You lean back and let out a satisfied sigh, listening to the music in your ears. >Be Twilight. >It looks like you and the girls were right. >As you were approaching, Anon's loneliness had reached its' upper limit. >He had just leaned back in his chair and let out the saddest sound you had ever heard someone make. >He must be in dire need of a friend! >As you approach, you can hear a little of the music Anon is listening to. Yummy yummy yummy yummy pizza Yummy yummy yummy yummy you (oh yeah) >This sounds like something Pinkie would love! >You had a feeling Anon would fit right in among your friend group. >Be Anon. >You have not noticed the presence rapidly approaching from behind. >You feel a tap on your shoulder. >Who dare disturbs your peace? >You take out your right earbud and turn around with a frown. >"What?" >A girl with brightly colored hair and thick glasses stands behind you. >Be Twilight yet again. >"Ah...er...um.... I'm Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, and, uh..." >Think Twilight, Think! >Oh no, you knew this would happen, you should have thought of what you were going to say beforehand. >Why is it so easy to talk with friends yet so hard with strangers? >"I-is it true that canadians buy milk in bags?" >"Not everyone, but it's common." >"And I was wondering if, uh, you wanted to hang out at the park with me and my friends this weekend?" >Be Anon. >You are not entertained. >Look behind the yapping girl, at her friends watching the two of you talk. >Hmmm... >That pink haired one looked like a catch. >A blonde, too. >... >"Twilight Sparkle, I would love to." >A few days later. >Be Pinkie Pie. >Be only just now hearing about a potential NEW FRIEND! >Normally, this would make you incredibly happy. >But this time, you have more mixed feelings. >Anonymous sat at a table all alone, and checked out girls walking by for the entire lunch period... >You're not sure if anyone else had noticed. >If they had, they hadn't said anything about it. >Additionally, once you had overheard the music Anon was listening to. "I JUST WANT TO STICK IT IN MY ASS, UP M-" >You shudder. >Surely Anon was a class-A pervert. >But maybe he was a really good, fantastic guy with a filthy exterior! >You decide that you need to find out, and protect your friends if he was a bad guy. >You hope he isn't, though... >Be Anon. >Holding a printed photograph of a young Winona Rider. >Carving a hole in the mouth of a printed photograph of a young Winona Rider. >Inserting penis into the mouth hole in a printed photograph of a young Winona Rider. >Preforming Auto-Fellatio while staring into the eyes a printed photograph of a young Winona Rider. >Be Pinkie. >Be looking through a window. >Be crying. >Now that was some good, old-fashioned fun! >You smile to yourself and a dollop of goo drips from your mouth onto your naked thigh. >... >Did you hear something? >You walk over to your window, where the sound emanated. >You don't see anything. >It must have been a rabbit. >Damn things are always eating at the vegetable garden. >You go into the bathroom and wash out your mouth before brushing your teeth. >After stopping to consider it, you get into the shower. >Have to be sure there is no evidence of your sin. >Indeed, you're going to the park tomorrow morning. >And you're not going alone. >The hot water strikes the skin on your back. >It feels good. >By the time you get out, your skin is red. >You sit down on your bed and pick up the copy of "Rampaging Hulk #23". >You watch as two gay men try to rape Bruce in the shower, and think of ways to impress the girls tomorrow. >Be Twilight. >You were just on the phone with Pinkie Pie. >She said she wasn't coming tomorrow. >She didn't sound well. >You are very concerned. >Concerned enough that you're standing on the doorstep of her house. >You let yourself in, you've always been made to feel welcome at her house. >You knock on her bedroom door. >A minute passes. >"Pinkie? I'm coming in." >You open the door and step in. >It's completely dark inside the room. >Pinkie is sitting on the floor, but she looks over as you enter. >Her eyes are a muted blue. >Did her jawline get sharper? >"Uh, Pinkie, what are you doing?" >No response. >"Are you alright? You know you tell me if something's going on, right?" >... >"Twilight. Have you been where I've been? Have you seen what I've seen? Hell is real, Twilight. It's where we live. In those books of yours, have they talked about Samsara, Twilight? It's a Sanskrit word, and it refers to the fact the the foundation of life is suffering. There will be suffering, and suffering is guaranteed. There is no living being on this planet who has not experienced pain. There is happiness, but there is no guarantee of happiness. And then there's Nirvana, you know anything about that? It's death, Twilight. And it's the goal. It's the closest thing to happiness anyone can get." >"W-what?" >"Twilight, you asked me if I was alright just now. The answer is no. I'm not alright. How could anyone be? How could anyone accept this, the state of the world? I wish I was dead, Twilight - no, I wish I had never born." >You have no idea what to say. >Instead of speaking, you walk over and sit next to Pinkie. >"What happened, Pinkie?" >"The doubled-over man, the ouroboros. What must happen to everyone, eventually. The fruit that brings the knowledge of good and evil. I'll be alright Twilight, I pinky promise. Go have fun while you still can." >"If you're sure..." >You don't want to leave, but you know it wouldn't help Pinkie to have you here. >Besides, Pinkie promised. >And Pinkie Pie never breaks a pinky promise. >Be Anon. >Looking in your mirror. >Today is the day you agreed to go to the park. >And you have a HUGE problem. >A red, oily, swollen problem. >There is a greasy pimple smack-dab in the center of your forehead. >... >Suddenly, you realize that you do not give a shit, have never given a shit, and will not, in the future, begin to give a shit. >You give your mirrored self an eyebrow raise and a smile. >Still got it, baby! >Be Rarity. >Be hyperventilating. >There is a small rash across your chest. >You put your hands on both sides of the sink basin and breathe deeply. >Calm, Rarity. Calm. >You can wear the top you got last week, that comes together in the back with a couple cute buttons. >It's going to be fine. >You check your phone. >If you delay too much longer you will be late. >It would not reflect well for you to be late. >You run across the hall to your bedroom, scream into a pillow, then walk balk to the bathroom and splash your face with frigid water. >Let's do this. >Be Twilight. >Wake up on the floor, next to your bed. >As you sit up, you knock over a few glass bottles. >You have a killer headache. >You stumble over to the light and turn it on, instantly regretting your decision as the light pervades your retinas. >You groan and lean back against your wall. >A second later, your eyes open wide. >You look at the digital alarm clock on your desk, which you forgot to set. >You're late! >You went way way too hard last night. >You run to your desk, putting away the chemistry book you had given up sleep to read. >You grab the glass Yoo-hoo bottles on your floor and throw them into the trash. >You barely have time to brush your hair and get dressed before you're out the door. >Gosh darn-it Fluttershy, making you meet up so early! >Be Applejack. >Be wearing your cowgirl hat. >Be grinning to yourself. >You love your cowgirl hat. >You take it off and leave it under your bed. >"Now you just sit tight right there, hun." >Your can never let your friends know >Be Fluttershy. >You asked your friends if they were able to meet in the morning. >You sure hope you didn't cause them any trouble. >Oh dear. >It makes you feel a bit selfish, considering you're indulging yourself later in the day. >A local veterinarian agreed to let you shadow him. >They all seemed fine with the time, though. >Well, except Rainbow, but that's just how Rainbow is. >You glance at your the clock mounted on your wall and leave 15 minutes earlier than you need to. >Be RainbowDash. >Fuck whoever invented alarm clocks. >Fuck waking up this early. >You slam your bathroom door open, down a handful of advil, and leave your house. >You hope this isn't boring. >You hate being bored. >Be Anon. >Walking up behind a scared-looking blonde haired girl sitting on a park bench. >You are at least 50% sure this is one of the Sparkle-girl's friends. >A little prank will certainly calm her nerves! >You take another step closer, and grab both her shoulders. >"Boo!" >The girl lets out an ear-piercing scream and immediately falls unconscious. >You run to the other side of the bench and look at the girl. >A few seconds later, she opens her eyes. >You're glad you won't have to be doing any digging today. "What, uh.." >Fluttershy blinks hard, twice. "What just happened?" >The ball is in your court. >"You must have fallen asleep while you were waiting for everyone." >Time to put on the moves. >You sit down next to Fluttershy and put your arm around her. >She immediately stiffens. >She must be trying to impress you with her posture. >Not one to to lose at this game, you straighten up too, before you begin to speak. >"Ya know, Bitsy." "My name is-" >You lean over and subtly ogle Fluttershy's chest. >"Listen Golden. I have a feeling we're going to be real good friends." "My nam-" >"I get it. You get it. Look, I gotta go take a leak so keep the seat warm for me, yeah?" "I-" >"Thanks, Sugar." >You walk away with a grin on your face. >Surely, you have FlutterShy in the palm of your hand. >Be FlutterShy. >A little after Anon leaves, you see Rarity approaching. >You are slightly angry at Anon for wrapping his arm around you. >A little confused from all the pet names, too. >Maybe he just expressed friendship in a strange way. "FlutterShy! I see you're early as always." >You look at up her. >A look of concern crosses her face when she sees your expression. "What's wrong, Dear?" >"Um. Anon got here before you. He has, a, sort of dominating personality." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You are *quite* shy, though. He might not know to talk to people like you. >"Yeah, um, that's true." "Actually hun, would you be a dear and wait here while I visit the ladies room? I'll be back in a touch." >"Uh, yeah, sure." >Rarity leaves. >You are alone again. >Be Anon, in the bathroom. >Being so close to the blonde has made you incredibly horny. >You needed some relief. >You enter the park's only bathroom, a unisex, with a twig you found on the way there. >It was just small enough to serve its' purpose. >You sit down on the closed porcelain seat, zip down your fly, and take your flaccid penis out. >You leave your pants on and your button buttoned, of course. >You massage your genitals until you have an erection. >Grimacing, you spread your meatus with one hand. >You then insert the twig, and push down. >Hurts like a bitch! >Soon only an inch of the previously-long twig sticks out. >You've been practicing this next bit for a while now. >You hop of the seat, and turn to face the toilet. >You put the top of your head on the ground in reverence of the white throne before you. >You kick into a headstand, and flex your abdominal muscles to hold it. >You grab your balls in one hand, and the tip of the twig in the other. >Using the twig to gyrate your penis around its' base. Feels good. >The door opens. >Be Rarity. >Be screaming. >Be seeing a penis for the first time in your life. >"WHY IS THERE SOMETHING INSIDE IT?" >You take a step back, and your foot catches on something. >You fall, and land on your ass. >The sudden force causes the two buttons holding your shirt together to pop off. >The mild tension that held it in place is released, and your shirt flops down, revealing your right breast and the rash on your chest. >Anon's eyes widen and his mouth goes into an "O" shape. >You see his balls contract. >Something drips off the twig. >The twig then flies out of Anon and hits the wall next to you. >Two ropes of white Ichor follow. >You stare for a second. >You put your head in your hands, and sob. >Be Anon. >Be in the afterglow. >You are happy. Very happy. >After all, this is the first time you've seen a girl's tatas! >She is crying though. >You better do something to cheer her up. >"Hey." >You probably should figure out their names at some point. >"You know you've got some shapely honkers, right?" >Rarity, still crying, gets up and starts to run away. >Huh, what's got her panties in a knot? >You guess your complement didn't do much to cheer her up. >You sigh and wash your hands before returning to the rest of the girls. >Rainbow notices you first. "Hey." >"Oh, hey. I saw the purple haired girl on my way back, she said something came up and that she had to leave." "That's weird. Wait, which purple hair girl?" >"Uh, the one that wasn't twilight?" "Oh, that was Rarity. I'm Rainbow." >You smile and shake her outstretched hand. >You think you've seen this girl on the track team. >You hope she's not a lezbo. >"I'm Anon." >You're hoping that Rarity is embarrassed enough to not tell any of the girls what happened. >That would ruin your chances of getting with one of these babes! "Cool, we're just waiting on Twilight and Pinkie then." "Oh, umm" Fluttershy speaks up, "Pinkie's not coming." "What? Why?" Rainbow looks concerned. "I don't know." >"Something probably came up." "Yeah, probably..." >Twilight showed up after about ten minutes, and the rest of the morning was uneventful. >You enjoyed it, though. >You had plenty of chances to ogle the girls. >And in the evening, it was time to start planning "The Big One". >All of the equipment had arrived. >800 of your dollars well spent. >Be Twilight. >You found out that Rarity had left early. >She tried to convince you over the phone that she was fine. >She said that she had a wardrobe malfunction and had to leave. >You wanted to believe her, but she sounded off. >You've been really worried about your friends lately. >Maybe there's some commonality between what happened. >This idea requires some examination. >Be Anon. >When you first moved here, the first goal was to find a base to chill in. >Eventually you found somewhere that was perfectly secluded. >An abandoned building, where you are now. >There could not be a better place to store your playboy magazines. >You even have a DVD player and a copy of Brokeback Mountain. >Shame the electricity was shut off. >You ready the pot and the hotplate you brought from your house. >You had filled the pot with water from a nearby pond. >It had just started to boil. >Be AppleJack. >Heading towards your secret cowgirl hideout. >You have your special cowgirl hat in your backpack. >As you enter the building, you hear a noise. >Afraid, you peek around a corner and into the largest room in the building. >... >Is that Anon? >It looks like he's going to cook something, he has a pot boiling. >What's that noise? >Is he unzipping his pants? >You are unable to look away as Anon, pants still on, lowers his dick and balls into the pot of water. >He lets out a girly scream. >He is very obviously in pain. >Anon stands up, and ejaculates from his flaccid penis. >His ejaculate falls into the pot with a hiss. "Oh yeah, you hurt me good baby. Reeeaaaal good." >You run from the scene.