>"Twilight, what have I told you about drinking your coffee so quickly?" Rarity chided, a grin on her face even while she shook her head >Her horn glowed, her magic encasing your tongue >Your pain wiggles slow down as the pain in your tongue quickly ceases >... >Is the entire store looking at you? >... >Yep >Yep, everypony here is looking at you >10/10 >Seeing that her spell--a spell which you were going to have to get from her in the near future-- did its job, Rarity leaned forward >"Now, what has you in such a fuss that you had to call an emergency meeting out of the blue like this?" >"Yeah," Rainbow said, yawning hugely. "Some of us were TRYING to nap you know." >Your nose scrunched up a little more as you looked over at the lazy pegasus, who stuck her tongue out at you >MakeEquestriaGreatAgainbyBuildingaWallthePegasiareStealingOurJobs.scroll >Not one to take a challenge laying down, you stuck your tongue out as well >This caused Rainbow to stick her tongue out a little more, leaning forward on the table >This made you stuck your tongue out even, even more nearly laying on the ta-- >"Twi, if ya have somethin' ta say can ya just spit it out?" Appljack asked, pushing her now empty glass to the center of the table. "I gotta lot o' work ta do back at the farm." >... >Oh right... >Clearing your throat, you sat back in your seat "Have you girls heard about Anon's new gym that he opened up in the middle of town?" >The girls nodded >"Yeppers!" Pinkie chirped, pulling her now snow white muzzle from her bowl. "Nonny came in when it first opened to ask if he could put up a few flyers announcing that it opened!" >"I heard Roseluck talking about it when I was getting carrots for Angel Bunny," Fluttershy whisper-mumbled >Rainbow crossed her hooves >"We've all heard about it, Egghead. So what does it have to do with us?" she demanded >IsTwilightSparklegonnahavetoslapafilly? "Just give me a second, Rainbow, I'm getting there" you said. "Though you don't think it is this is actually pretty important." >The pegasus huffed but said nothing as you turned back toward Pinkie "Now, Pinkie, I saw that Mr. Cake was in Anon's gym this morning." >Pinkie nodded >"Yep! He's been going there every morning for the last couple of weeks before he starts work." >You leaned on the table slightly, a small, worried frown coming to your face "Has Mr. Cake been acting any... different? Has his behavior changed any at all?" >Pinkie's bright, cheery smile diminished somewhat as she looked down at the table, thoughtfully humming >"Wellllllll... He's been eating a lot more than he used to," she said. "And Mrs. Cake seems a little nervous around him because he likes to touch her flank when she's bent over the--" >NOPE! >Too much information! >TOO MUCH INFORMATION! >NOPONY HERE NEEDS TO HEAR ABOUT MRS. CAKE'S FAT, FAT, FATTY FLANK THANK YOU! "He's a lot more aggressive than he was before he started going to Anon's gym right?" you interrupted >Pinkie nodded once again, shifting in her seat uncomfortably >"Yeah... it's almost like he's been acting like a..." "A mare?" >"Yeah! But one of big meanie mares that whistle at stallions when they cross the street and touch their butts when they're not looking!" >You hummed, tapping your hoof against your chin >So the stallions just didn't act like that in the gym... >They were aggressive even in the privacy of their own homes... >Your mind scuffled through all of the stallions that you had seen in the gym before you had had to retreat >Many of them had been older stallions; stallions with foals and herds and businesses >And if their experiences were anything like Flutter Butter's and Mrs. Cake's then you can only imagine how badly they were taking having their stallions turn into... this >... >You liked Anon, you really did, and you knew that even though he was HUGE he wouldn't hurt a fly, but his gym was causing problems >Somehow, for some reason, the stallions coming out of that gym were turning into... not stallions >They were more aggressive, more authoritative, DIFFERENT >You might have been a progressive mare but having stallions like THIS was too different, almost... wrong >It was turning harmony into chaos >It was turning the sanctity of herding >It was... BAD! >If you didn't do something there was going to be anarchy in the streets, and maybe worse if this continued... >You motioned for the girls to huddle together >They did, all of them looking at you expectantly "Alright, I'm going to start from the beginning. See, I was sitting at this very table waiting for my food when..." >You took a deep breath as you looked around the gym floor >YOUR gym floor >It was about noon time, so the place was mostly empty, though there was a stallion or two getting their workout on and you were pretty sure there was a mare over at the dumbbells >... >At least it looked like a mare... >... >Whatever... >In an hour or two the gym would be filled to the brim with the afternoon crowd, but right now the gym was mostly silent >In this silence, you took stock, breathing in the sweat and the blood and the tears and the smell of that made up your gym >You had done it >After all of those years of working like a dog, after having to start all over when you found yourself in horseland, you had a gym >You had a gym full of equipment that was nobody else's but yours >And not only did you have a gym you had (what appeared to be) a successful one >About a hundred and fifty ponies, made up of both mares AND stallions, came in and out of this building everyday, with more and more joining by the day >And sure, it was nice that you were RAKING in the bits, but that's not why you made this gym, nor was it why you were so happy >You could care less about the bits; you weren't trying to make a quick buck and hoping for a New Year's crowd >No >You wanted LIFTERS; weirdos like you who didn't treat the gym like a chore or just another thing in their schedule, but as a lifestyle >You wanted people who went to bed at twelve at night and got up at four in the morning so that they could get in a lift before they went to work >You wanted people who just ate the same thing at the same time everyday without failure >Powerlifters, Olympic lifters, Bodybuilders, you didn't give a damn >You just wanted LIFTERS >And, to your surprise, you found some in this little town >You smiled as you took another deep breath, putting your hands on your hips as you looked around YOUR gym >Smelly and with some rusted and slightly busted equipment, but it was still your gym... >.... >Your gym... >A rumbling in your tummy brought you back to reality >Quickly looking over at the clock that you had on the wall you noticed that it was twelve-thirty >Aka the time when you stuffed your face so you didn't to catabolic and shrink into nothing >With one last look around the gym, you spun around and made your way through the door into the lobby >The fellas had invited you to the park today for lunch >Mr. Cake had insisted that you come since he was working on these protein brownies that he wanted you to try ou-- >"Nonny!" >You blinked as you found your face pressed against someone's furry, pink tummy as they hugged your head like the adorable little face hugger that they were >... >Eh >4/10, assassin attempt could have been better >You gently peeled your pink attacker off of you and held them out in front of you by the scruff of their neck >Pinkie Pie? "Pank?" >The pink party pony giggled, squirming in the air as she looked up at you >"Nonny!" she chirped, spreading her hooves out wide >While this pone, just like many other pones, was usually AGGRESSIVELY naked, today Ponto had a headband on that forehead of her's >She also had a hoof(?)band on each of her legs >... >"Pinkie! Honestly we can't keep our eyes off of you for five seconds, can we!" >A blue aura encased the pank, floating her out of your grasp and onto the floor >You looked away from Pinkie to see that there were other little horses standing in your lobby >There was shit bird pone, Appulz, Twiggles, Rararara and Fluttershy >... >Jesus Christ... >You didn't even notice them... >Someone REALLY needed to put a bell of these tiny, silent little horses... >... >Where the HELL was your receptionists? >"What if you would have hurt poor Anon with your shenanigans?" Rarity demanded, her nose scrunched up as she stood beside her friend >Pinkie snorted >"Pl-ease, Rarity! The only way I could knock Nonny over is if I took his pants off and used my tongue to--" >You loudly cleared your throat "So... what can I do you girls for?" you asked >As you looked down at them a certain... feeling overcame you >It wasn't a very good feeling >It felt like you were sitting in a doctor's office waiting for the results of an STD test that you just took >Nervousness, a feeling like your world was about to change, slight satisfaction in the fact that you only cried for five minutes after the girl who may or may not have almost ruined your life had wanted offered to do anal with you >You weren't the one giving >... >She also didn't take no for an answer >"Anon? Are you okay there? You look a little... overwhelmed..." >Oh you had been overwhelmed alright... >You didn't think that all of if would fit inside of you but she managed to CRAM every inch of it in >And in and in and in... >... >She didn't even cuddle afterward >"Anon?" >You jumped slightly as Rarity touched your leg "Wha--who--I'm alright! I'm ALRIGHT!" you said a little too loudly >Easy Anon, Easy >You're in a different dimension now >She can't get you OR your butt >You're a big man >A >BIG >MAN >Awkwardly clearing your throat, you looked back down at the girls "Sorry about that, It's been a long day. Now, what can I do you for?" >The girls looked at each other in a way you didn't like before Twiggles took a step forward and puffed her chest out >"The girls and I would like to join your gym, Anon," she said confidently >Though Rararara's nose scrunched up a bit she nodded as well >"Yes... we wish to get fit and grow our muscles and all of that," she said, halfheartedly pumping a hoof into the air >... >Oh... >Oh... >That about to be butt raped feeling wasn't going away; in fact it wasn't going away even a little bit >And that's when Twilight said it; a collection of words that set off your normie meter so hard that it took your breath away >It wasn't something you were supposed to say aloud in a gym like this, not if you didn't want to get thrown out of the place by the gym regulars anyway >In fact, if you weren't the patron to this fine establishment, an establishment that you wanted to have a good name for the foreseeable future, you would have tossed these little horses out without a second thought > "We were also wondering if you had trainers so me and the girls could learn the ropes? I don't know if you guys practice crossflex here but I've kinda always wanted to try it out, so if you have somepony for that could you point them out to us please? >"Could you explain the mechanics of this movement again?" "Twilight." >"I know that I have to bend my knees but at what degrees do I have to bend them?" "Twilight." >"And is there a optimum amount of air that I need to breath in for each rep? Or maybe there's a certain technique to the breathing that will help me with the exercise?" >You scratched your chin as you looked down at Twiggles >... >She was trying >No matter what she was trying, Anon, and that was the first step >The purple princess smiled up at you with the innocence of a new born babe > You could SMELL the normie on her "Twilight... You know that you're just stretching right?" you carefully asked. "We're just doing this so you can get warmed up." >"Oh, I KNOW," Twiggles said with a giggle, waving a hoof. "But there has to be a way that I can do these stretches in the best way right? I mean I've only read a little bit on the subject but what I've found--" >You looked away from the Princess of Friendship toward the dumbbell rack >Rainbow and Applejack were standing in front of the mirror, wildly flailing the heaviest weights that they could get their grubby little hooves on as they eyed each other like the closet lesbians that they were >... >They were going to pull something >They were going to pull something and someone was going to have to get an ice pack or possibly take a trip to the doctors... >You looked away from those two dummies to where you had some treadmills sitting >There was Mrs. Rarity on one of your machines >The fashionista had her treadmill on the lowest setting, trying to chat with a few of the stallions standing around the power racks that she was near >More like flirting that talking, but, to your pride, the stallion's completely ignored her >"--And, though Clean and Snatch's hypothesis might not be as tested as I would like, it seems to have some real--" >Your nose scrunched up as you looked back down at Twilight for a half-second >She was still talking? >...Jesus Christ... >Shaking your head, you looked over toward where you kept the weight balls and other, larger gym equipment >Somehow, in the minute and a half since you looked at her, Pinkie had managed to make this... contraption out of medicine balls, logs, and two barbells >You had no idea what the hell it was for but you didn't like that look in Pinkie's eyes... >You didn't like it one little bit >And from the looks of the other gym patrons they didn't like it all that much either "Pinkie! Put that shit back where you found it!" you yelled from across the gym >"Aw! But I was going to start the fire!" "I'm going to light a fire under your ass if you screw up my gym equipment you little horse!" >Almost everyone in the gym sighed in relief as Pinkie, with a disappointed groan, began to deconstruct the monstrosity that she had created >... >"--I know that Sheepish monks of the Highlands like to use the Bahamian method to relax the joints but--" "Twilight, fuck up for a goddamn minute," you finally snapped, your nose scrunching up when you couldn't find the last pain in your ass that you had unwillingly let loose amongst your people >Where the hell was Flutter-- >Oh, there she was >Flutter-butter was laying on a mat near one of the only windows that you had in this big ass room >The pegasus looked like she was attempting push ups, her widdle nose scrunched up in concentration as she tried to pick herself back up with both her hooves and her wings >She wasn't really getting anywhere, more wiggling than anything else, but like Twilight she was trying >Trying her little heart out >You awed quietly >Don't give up lil' Flutters... >Someday you'll make it... >You scratched your chin as you looked back down at Twilight, the only one who had decided to stretch with you >To be fair neither of you had gotten all that much stretching done, what with Twilight and all of her fucking questions, but fuck it >Time to throw this little horse to the lions >The iron lions "Alright, Twiggles, I think we got enough stretching done. Why don't you go and get the rest of your little buddies so we can start these lessons?" >Twilight blinked >"...But Anon, you still haven't answered any of my questi--thmp!" "Go and get your friends before I pop a blood vessel, Spackle," you said, keeping your hand firmly clamped around her muzzle. "PLEASE." >Jesus Zyzz Christ... "Urgh!" >Be Time Turner >"HAH! One, two, thre. Breath, breath, breath. HAH! Push it! PUSH IT!" >You were spending your Thursday morning participating in your third favorite activity: that being lifting heavy objects, usually of the metallic variety "Hah! Big as a bear! BIG AS A BEAR! HAH!" >At that moment you were on one of the many deadlifting platforms playing the most dangerous game of all >The deadlifting game "Hah! Get it up! GET. It. Up. COLT!" >A puff of chalk hit you square in the face as you slammed a chalky hoof against your chest >There was a thin sheen of sweat coating your body as you stood over what was soon going to be your new max >You were also breathing pretty heavily, your eyes bugged out and your expression crazed >Ever since you had woken up this morning you had been getting ready for this lift >You had yourself a VERY hearty breakfast, you took a FAR more preworkout than the equine body could properly handle, and your bedazzled lifting belt looked REALLY good in this lighting >You were ready >... >You were ready, and for some reason you could see EVERYTHING > Dat preworkout tho' >Growling to yourself, you got into position, gripping onto the bar as hard as you could "Come on! COMEON! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!" >You jerked the bar, causing it to bend slightly as the weight resisted you >Yeah... >YEAH! >This was just what you needed after a whole week of getting bugged by your mares about not making them breakfast in the morning anymore! "Come one! Shark week! Red balloon! Alfalfa! Stingray!" >What? Couldn't they make breakfast themselves?! >You already made them lunch and dinner-- and did a FINE job of it thank you very much-- and didn't get so much as a thank you from ANY of them! >You grunted again, a snarl on your face as you jerked at the bar >Couldn't you just have a little time to yourself in the morning? >Couldn't your mares get off their lazy flanks every once in a while and cook for themselves? >You've seen them cook before; you KNOW that they can do it >So was it too much to ask if they just made their OWN breakfast? >Was that REALLY too much to ask? >Was it? >WAS IT?! >[angry swole stallion noises] >You took a deep breath, your dilated eyes staring at the small orange goblin from across the room, and you tighten up your body > Thepre'sgotmejohnny.jpg "HHHHAAAAAAAAA--" >"Howdy, Turner!" >Your roar of triumph turns into a yelp of surprise as somepony up and slaps you on the back >The bar, which you had been griping so tightly how were you even doing that? You didn't even have hooves yo... slipped out of your hooves >Your weight SLAMMED against the platform as you stumbled backward >... >The moment was gone >YOU WERE ABOUT TO MAX OUT AND NOW THE MOMENT WAS GONE! >THERE WAS NO BUCKING WAY THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET IT UP NOW!" >Gritting your teeth, you spun around to see who would be STUPID enough to interrupt somepony while they were in the middle of a lift; a lift that was VERY dangerous if not fully focused on it >"Whoo howdy! That sure it a lotta weight! Are ya sure ya can pick something like that up?!" >Your anger diminishes somewhat as you stare at the smiling, oblivious face of Applejack "...Applejack?" you muttered, your nose scrunching up >Applejack smiled that country smile of her's that her and her whole family were so, so good at >A smile that, even now, brought a bit of a smile to your face >Not much of one, the bucking filly just RUINED your lift, but it was still there >"Ah just wanted ta come 'ver and say hello since I saw ya over here, Turner," Applejack said, nudging you. "Big Mac also wanted me ta tell ya that he'd be more 'an happy ta go ta that wine thingy in Manehattan with ya, so I figured I'd mosey on over an' tell ya!" >... >Awesome! >That meant-- >...Wait a minute... >This filly darn near killed you over that?! >Mac could have told you that himself later today! >She didn't need to risk your SPINE over that! >But >BUT... >You knew Applejack >While she was a looker she didn't have all that much going on in the cute little noggin of her's >She probably didn't even realize what she did to you, the country bumpkin that she was... >100% mad reduced to 50% mad "Well, that's great, Applejack, but--" >"Hey, Turner! Watch this!" >You turned your head to look back at your weight >There, straining with all of her might to pick up the weight, was Rainbow Dash >"Yeah... I'm gonna... lift this weight... so bucking... good!" >A noise escaped Rainbow's throat that sounded almost like a pained whine, her wings desperately flapping >She... >She... >She was going to REALLY hurt herself... >You took a step back, concern coming to your face when you noticed how curled the pegasi's back was >... >Okay... >First Applejack appears and now Rainbow? >You don't remember seeing these fillies ever coming to this gym before... "Um... Rainbow? Maybe you should take some of the weights off to warm up before you start lifting that much weight? You know, so you don't hurt yourself?" >Seeing that she wasn't able to pick up the weight, Rainbow then tried her hoof at pushing the weight >While the plates that you had on your bar were ROUND she seemed to be doing a VERY poor job of it >Pegasi be light yo >"Nah... I got... I bucking got... this," Rainbow grunted, pushing with all of her might. "I got this SO... bucking much..." >... >You stood there for a moment as a certain feeling began to overcome you >You've never felt this feeling before, but, for some reason, it felt so so right >Your ears perked up as you heard a whisper of a sound >Something that only a chosen few could hear reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... > "Normies," you muttered, a feeling of utter and overpowering disgust filling you to the brim "Get out of my bucking gym.... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! >And that's when the screaming began