Chapter 1: Life in Nightville

>"I created the Other World one hundred years ago today."
>Princess Twilight Sparkle stands in the center of an auditorium
>the eyes of hundreds of intellectuals, scholars, and sorcerers are fixed firmly upon her
>which is just as well for you
>because, behind all the intellectuals, scholars and sorcerers
>you creep unseen in the shadows
>"The Other World is a magical construct, powered by the minds of the ordinary ponies who use and benefit from it every day."
>you locate your target, and curse under your breath
>you entered the auditorium on the exact wrong side
>all right Anon, this could take a little time
>"It is, exactly as the name implies, another world. You can't get there from any place in Equestria, but at the same time, you can get there from any place in Equestria."
>that's it, keep talking, you old fart
>"Progress began with the invention of the horn band, also created by yours truly."
>crawling
>creeping
>on your toes and fingertips
>torso close to the ground
>silent
>like some kind of huge snake
>but with legs
>"The horn band was designed to give earth ponies and pegasi a means for casting spells. It even worked with several non-equine races."
>all right
>you probably don't have to move so fucking slow
>let's pick up he pace a little bit here
>"I have, unfortunately, been forced to ban these general-purpose horn bands by now in the interest of public safety. But years before that, I noticed that they produced an unexpected effect."
>all right
>you're about to pass a door
>hopefully nobody opens it while you're in front of it
>"A wise mare once said, 'Magic is as magic does,' and anyone who's experimented in magic knows the absolute truth of this statement."
>the door swings open in front of you
>by instinct, you fling yourself against the wall
>"The horn bands communicated with each other of their own accord. While investigating this phenomenon, I was taken into the first incarnation of the Other World. Immediately, I saw the potential it afforded."
>oh fuck
>it's a guard
>"The rest, as they say, is history. I and many others spent a long time forming this raw magical energy into a comprehensive world, and today there are special-purpose horn bands available to allow anyone to access it whenever they'd like."
>his eyes
>pass directly over you
>and then
>he walks on by as if you weren't there
>you sigh
>then grin
>of course you know that ponies can't see you here in the Other World
>but sometimes you don't believe it
>besides, they can bump into you sometimes
>"Without further ado, allow me to present the pony who's bringing a change to the Other World almost as significant as its very creation, Professor Turing Test, of the Ponyville University for Applied Magics. Professor Test, I leave the stage to you."
>all right, fuck this
>you probably don't need all this stealth
>not tonight anyways
>you stand up
>"Thank you, Princess. Thank you. I am very excited to explain my discovery to you all."
>your target is a old, fat mare with a charcoal coat and a silver mane by the name of Ashy Pool
>she's only about twenty feet away now
>she's in the back row
>this should be easy
>"This can be seen as another magical construction. Similar to the Other World itself, it is powered by the minds of those who participate in it."
>oh shit
>the mare who just bumped into you is a serious cutie
>silvery coat
>snow white mane
>a little black dress that hugs her rump perfectly
>she's looking around vacantly
>trying to see what she's bumped
>trying to see what she can't
>you give that rump a firm smack as you walk on by it
>"Unlike the Other World, this construct is intelligent in and of itself."
>Ashy Pool is fairly well distracted by the scandalized shriek of the little cutie in the black dress
>she doesn't notice your hand reaching into the deep pockets of her big fur coat
>or coming back out with the scroll you've been payed to retrieve
>you smile
>good shit
>"Open up! Anonymous Poster, we know you're in there!"
>oh shit
>that's coming from the Real World

>you yank your band off of your head and stuff it in your pocket
>your sparse little apartment that smells like booze and BO comes rushing back
>damn
>since when do the cops come into downtown Ponyville?
>"Anonymous Poster! You have until the count of ten before we enter by force!"
>welp
>time to see that SP you picked up Nightville was worth the neobits
>you grab the special-purpose band off of the table
>and slip it on over your head
>to verify that it works, you take a look at your arm
>or, rather, you don't
>invisibility spell
>very illegal
>very expensive
>but also very useful for someone like you
>unfortunately, you're not nearly as unnoticeable in the Real World as you are in the Other World
>disadvantages of being a giant space-monkey among little talking ponies
>the door splinters and falls inward
>you press yourself as flat against the wall as you can get
>"He's hiding in here somewhere, we saw him come in and we didn't see him come out. Search everything!"
>now hold up just a minute
>these aren't the guards at all
>they wear a similar armor
>but it's jet-black as opposed to the gold of the real guards
>these guys are somebody's private security force
>oh, that's just awesome
>assholes left the door open
>they're too busy looking for you to see you slip out
>you put a little pep in your step as you head down the flights of stairs to the ground level
>once outside of the apartment complex, you look up at where you guess your window should be
"Shit."
>welp
>nothing for it but to head down to Nightville

>you make your way through the dingy streets of downtown Ponyville
>tall buildings with bright AM lights stand on either side of your path, lighting up the night almost as bright as day
>just all the wrong colors
>finally, in a little out-of-the-way alley, you see it
>the entrance you use to get into Nightville is essentially what you'd refer to as a manhole
>the ponies have some other name for it, pony-hole or something like that
>you flip the cover off the manhole and get on the ladder down
>it's always a pain to pull the cover back on while you're on the ladder
>so much of a pain that only a six-foot biped with opposable thumbs could do it
>the nice thing about that is that this is basically your own private entrance to the underground city
>when you get to the bottom, you notice a tattered band sitting on the ground in the dim AM lighting
>and then you notice your legs
"Cheap piece of crap."
>you've got a few hundred yards of sewer to navigate before you reach Nightville
>once you get there, the AM lighing becomes bright and multicolored, just like upstairs
>Nightville is essentially a single straightaway of defunct sewer under Ponyville
>to get to where you're headed, you've got to walk through the marketplace
>vendors at their neon stands shout at you, trying to get you to buy their wares
>these wares consist mainly of shady AMs
>AM, by the way, is applied magic
>it's essentially the equivalent to what you knew on Earth as gadgets
>the inhabitants of this world never developed electricity or combustion
>but they never needed to
>a large portion of this planet's creatures have psychokinetic abilities which they refer to as magic
>you understand they've gone through something like a technological revolution in the past 100 years
>that was when they figured out how to apply their magics to gadgets
>hence AMs
>but not all of these AMs are strictly speaking perfectly safe and legal
>hence the AM black market
>that's what this stretch of Nightville is
>don't worry, there are drugs too
>you stop to pick up a few grams of something ponies call "horseradish"
>you're not really sure what it is
>but it's good shit
>once you're finally past the market, you reach Nightville's residential area
>from here, it looks like a lot of random wooden boards
>but underneath each board is a hole
>and through each hole is somebody's home
>you reach the board you were looking for and knock on it
>a little green unicorn pushes the board off to the side from underneath and smiles at you with unfocused eyes
>you can always count on this mare to be fried as bacon
<"Oh hey Anon. What's up?"
"Hey Lentil. My apartment isn't safe right now. Somebody's private security force just barged into it. I need a place to crash for a few days."
>Lentil blinks
<"I keep telling you, it's not safe for you to live upstairs. Why don't you just move in with me?"
"I might just take you up on that."
>"Really?"
"Yeah. Oh, and I brought you something."
>you toss her the bag of horseradish
<"Oh, nice! Yeah, come on in dude, come on in."

<"Have a seat, make yourself at home, dude."
>you really have no choice but to sit
>the ceiling is too low for you to stand
>Lentil eyes the bag of horseradish eagerly
<"I'm gonna go, uh, make us some tea. Be right back."
"Yeah, sounds good, thanks."
>lentil disappears into the kitchen
"Hey, Lentil."
<"Yeah?"
"I'm gonna band up while you're in there. Come and poke me when that tea's ready."
<"Sure thing, space-monkey."
>"space-monkey," by the way, is a reference to what you are and how you got here
>the space part comes from the fact that you are Lieutenant Junior Grade Anonymous Poster, US Spacefleet
>or, you were
>til you crash-landed here
>to this day, you don't understand how your fighter went from Earth's orbit to a smouldering wreck on another planet
>and you probably never will, since anyone who could explain it is still on Earth
>you'll probably die here too, unless they develop feasible interstellar travel back home within your lifetime
>the monkey part comes from the fact that Lentil had a hard time believing your claim of being related to primates
>you guess it's fair though, since she doesn't look much like a horse herself
>the weird part is that they have monkeys on an unknown planet at all
>the weirder part is that the dominant language here is nearly identical to English
>again, anyone who could explain all of this is still on Earth
>you were only taught to fly a fighter
>the band slips on easily
>you're back in the auditorium
>it's all empty now, save for a few lingerers standing around chatting
>the scroll is still in your hand
>you hide it in your jacket before anyone sees a scroll just floating around and figures something's up
>and out the door you go
>navigating the Other World proper is sort of like piloting a fighter
>except the fighter is your body
>or, it feels like your body
>really it's your mind
>there are vast regions of the Other World that have never been formed into any definite shape
>and you hope they never will be
>the entrance to the place you're looking for is represented to your mind as a big red question mark
>you touch it
>the little room has a number of mailboxes with different names on them
>you find the one labeled Anonymous, and place the scroll inside
>this room belongs to someone who calls himself Darkstar
>you have no idea who he is
>but he's either got some powerful AMs, or he's a powerful unicorn
>because you can already feel your payment falling into your lap in the Real World
>you band out
>before your very eyes, neobits are appearing out of little flashes of magic and scattering all over the couch
>Lentil is sitting on the floor, across the room from you
>smiling vacantly
<"Anon."
"What?"
<"I forgot how to make tea."
>oh geez
"Did you do all that horseradish already?"
<"Uh huh."
>you gather up your neobits and stuff them in your pockets at fast as you can
>you know what's coming next
>slowly
>and unsurely
>Lentil climbs up onto the couch that's barely big enough for just you
>sprawls out across your lap
>and passes out

>Swift got it all wrong
>no
>worse than that
>Swift was full of shit
>when Gulliver wrecks his boat in a fantastic land, he's not taken off to see the king to discuss ethics
>and talking horses anything but enlightened paragons of morality and reason
>Lentil is your fault
>she's the first pony you met on this planet
>naturally
>it was her uptown townhome you crashed into
>for some reason, she wasn't too mad about being homeless
>for some reason, she insisted on sticking around with you
>you, the traumatized spacefleet vet
>of course you got into drugs
>of course you got Lentil into drugs too
>no more white collar jobs for her
>and no jobs at all for you, on account of your being human
>no, it's not they didn't hire you for being a big scary space alien
>actually, there are a lot of species on this planet, some of them very different from ponies
>they all get along
>not harmoniously or anything
>but more or less peacefully
>though you're only one of your species in this world
>you're not so special
>no
>your problem was that you're invisible in the Other World
>how can an invisible man conduct legitimate business?
>he can't
>that's why Darkstar is paying your rent
>most of your spending money goes toward Lentil's rent
>and drugs
>mostly for her
>Lentil twitches
>you stroke her mane
>your fault

>Lentil stirs and groans from your lap
<"Anon? When did you get here?"
"Couple hours ago. My place isn't safe right now. Just got busted into by somebody's private security."
<"Mh. I keep telling you it isn't safe for you upstairs. Why don't you just move in with me?"
>you sigh
"Yeah. I'll probably do that. I can't keep paying two rents anyway."
>the stoned little unicorn nuzzles your crotch absentmindedly
<"Yeah… You'll like it better down here anyway."
"Shit Lents, I need the sky over me."
<"We'll paint the ceiling blue."
"Let's start saving. We'll move out to the country."
<"The fuck are we gonna do in the country?"
"I dunno. We'll farm. Live off the fat of the land."
<"Lotta work."
"You ever see the stars, Lentil? It's worth it."
<"I wanna see stars… I guess…"
>and she's out cold again
>gently
>carefully
>you push her off of your lap and get up
>you regret it when your head makes contact with the concrete ceiling
>fuck this
>you've gotta get topside
>you all but throw the board off of the entry-hole and climb out into the stagnant sewer air of Nightville
>the ceiling looks solid black from down here
>probably not safe to head upstairs for a few days
>your pocket rumbles with magic for an instant
>your next paycheck
>sure enough, there's a letter in your pocket that your didn't put there
>"Anonymous. Be at Cosmos' tomorrow at noon. D.S."
>Cosmos is an AM vendor down here in Nightville
>he's the asshole who sold you that cheap invisibility SP
>the letter crumples easily in your hand

/"Hey, if it isn't my good friend Mr. Poster. How's that special-purpose working for you?"
"Worked great. For all of 15 minutes."
>Cosmos throws his hooves up
/"Hey, all sales are final."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm not here about that anyway. I'm meeting someone."
>Cosmos wears strings of pulsating AM lights strewn over his face and horn
>in the light of his headgear, you can see similar lines in the veins of his eyes
>over his bloodshot eyes, you can see his eyebrows shoot up
/"You get a letter from Mr. Darkstar?"
"Uh, yeah. You know him?"
/"He sends me neos, I give AMs to his friends. You got a friend waiting for you in the back."
>beyond the black curtain of the shop  
>reclining on a dingy armchair is a little silver cutie in a black dress
"Oh, hey."
>she frowns at you
~"Do I know you?"
"Uh…"
>well, not in the strictest sense
"No."
>her frown turns into a glare
~"Sun. Darkstar put me up with a monster. What are you supposed to be, the muscle?"
>a distinctive accent, country yet high class, drifts in from the other side of the curtain
_"No, dear. That'd be you."
>a donkey with lipstick and thick black eyelashes enters the room and looks at you seriously
>you don't recognize her
>but the little silver cutie's jaw clatters on the ground
~"Linwood Jinny?"
_"Yes, child."
"You two know each other?"
~"No, but I know the richest donkey in Equestria when I see her."
"This is classy company, then."
>the wealthy donkey ignores your remark
_"Silver Lining, this is Anonymous Poster. He can go about the Other World as unnoticed as you can go about the Real World. Perhaps moreso."
>Silver Lining's eyes narrow to itty bitty slits
~"How unnoticed?"
"100% invisible, babe. It's a disability."
>the little grey pony hops out of her chair
>marches right up to you
>glares at your hand up close
>then glares right into your eyes
"See something?"
~"Just wondering how those claws would feel on my ass."
"I, uh, think you already know."
~"Jackass."
>Linwood Jinny coughs rather loudly
>Silver Lining balks
~"No offense."
_"None taken. Mr. Poster is a creature from another world. His mind contains something totally incomprehensible to Equestrian life, so that, while navigating the Other World as nothing but mind, he is quite imperceptible to us."
"It's all true. You said something about Little Miss Sunshine here being the muscle of this operation?"
_"Yes. I do believe you've provoked her into showing you."
>Silver Lining's eyes are closed
>does anyone else smell smoke?
>the little black dress she was wearing goes up in a rapid fireball
>the first thing you notice is that the dress was hiding a pair of wings
>the second thing you notice is a cute little cloud stamped on her butt
>the last thing you notice is dozens of little bumps in her coat, all along her torso and wings
>this makes you look twice
"Holy shit, is that all…"
_"Implants. I've got more AMs sewed up under my skin than I care to remember."
>Linwood Jinny nods serenely
~"Yes. Due to Silver Lining's considerable augmentation, she is a more proficient spellcaster than many unicorns. The fact that she is, in fact, a pegasus, allows her to pass unsuspected through checkpoints which natural spellcasters would be barred from."
"All right, well that's all well and good. So what do you do?"
>the wealthy donkey taps her chest with dignity
_"I am your liason with Darkstar. And I am paying for this whole operation."

Chapter 2: The Job

>the Ponyville University for Applied Magics
>there is, of course, a building for it in the Real World
>but, like all respectable institutions these days, there's also one in the Other World
>you'd be surprised, most students actually prefer to go to the real thing
>the thing that's really interesting about PVU-FAM, however
>not only is its Other World building an exact copy of its Real World one
>there's actually some kind of magical link between the two
>it's mostly just there so the eggheads can croon about it
>and it's mostly just used so that otherworldly students can attend the same lectures as the bodily ones
>but Linwood Jinny claims that Darkstar has found another use for this link
>how exactly you can take advantage of that is yet a mystery to you
>apparently Darkstar is gonna show you himself
>whoah
>look at the ass on that co-ed
>speaking of nice asses…
>inside your jacket is the image of a little white cloud
>you reach in and touch it
>the room you're taken to is a little private movie theater
>the movie?
>everything Silver Lining is seeing and hearing right now
~"All right, jackass. Are you watching? You said you'd be watching by this time, so you'd better be. Look, you see this door? Go wait right outside of it."
>aye aye, ma'am
>you had been surprised to see Linwood Jinny take your band and hold it down on Silver Lining's back until it glowed
>SPs aren't supposed to be modifiable, you see
>but you were assured that no real modification had taken place
>apparently, all Other World horn bands can all be paired with a certain AM implant
>one of which Silver Lining has bulging directly out of her spinal cord
>you step out the door of the theater and find yourself in the otherworldly halls of PVU-FAM once more
>uh, what was that door number?
>3-218?
>fuck man
>you're still on the ground floor
>there are some otherworldly venues where you can just take off like a fighter, just like you can outside
>there are some where you can even clip right through solid objects
>but in a respectable institution like this?
>normal laws of physics only
>you break into a run
>when you find the door, you touch the cloud in your jacket again
~"-not watching by now I'm gonna be so pissed."
>in first person view, you watch a lithe, grey foreleg raise
>and spew fire into the door
>a bespectacled unicorn stallion looks with surprise through the now-empty doorframe
>"Why, Silver Lining, what in the world is the meaning of-"
>he's cut off by the hoof spraying forth some kind of purple miasma
>his eyes droop, and then close, and then fall to the floor along with the rest of him
~"Nighty night, Dr. Test."
>the sleeping professor belches in his sleep
~"Ugh. Do your thing, jackass."
>out the door
>into the hall
>and
>whoah
>the door to Dr. Test's office is just as burnt down here as it is in the Real World
>you stroll in
>head over to the desk where you saw the professor fall
>and wait
"All right, Mr. Star, just waiting on those instructions. Any time now."
>oh, Anon
>when will you learn to keep your big fucking mouth shut?
>no sooner do you speak than…
>something happens
>your hands seem to move of their own volition
>they trace out a pair of glasses
>over and over and over again
>until finally, a solid glasses-shape hangs in the air over the desk
"Oh, I don't like that. What am I supposed to do, touch it?"
>no answer
>you're left in complete control of your body
>or… your mind, technically
"All right, fine."
>you touch the glasses
>inside is a region much like the Other World proper
>except that
>in the ether
>swim hundreds of copies of that old unicorn professor
>holy shit
>Jinny wasn't lying
>you actually got inside of somebody's brain from the Other World

>long story short
>the something guided you through the doc's brain
>you grabbed a scroll from deep inside
>dropped it off in Darkstar's box
>got a fat payoff
>blew most of it on something called "rainbow"
>and now you're sitting just outside of your hole in Nightville
>staring into Lentil's eyes
>seeing a sea of stars
>she says she can see heaps of gold in yours
<"Dude…"
"Yeah."
<"Dude…"
"Yeah."
>a hoof plants itself on your back
~"Anonymous?"
>Silver Lining apparently had another black dress
>in her eyes you can see puffy white clouds in a happy blue sky
"Liner, what's up? Lents, this is Liner. She helped me pay for the rainbow."
<"Eternally grateful, dude."
>Silver Lining blinks
~"You blew your payoff on a cheap high?"
"No, no, of course not. That'd be stupid. I blew it on a really expensive high. Want some?"
~"Uh, sorry, I don't get high."
>Lentil insists
<"You sure? It's really good shit."
>Lining looks at her hooves
~"No, I mean… I mean drugs don't work on me. I've got an implant for that."
>Lentil pops another rainbow
<"Bummer."
>Silver Lining scowls at you
~"Sun, you two are really baked, aren't you?"
"Like cookies."
~"Look, uh, Darkstar sent me a letter saying I would find you here. Said I should get to know you a little."
"Why? Mission's over, isn't it?"
~"There's gonna be more. Darkstar's got a goal in mind. Says once he reaches it there'll be a payoff like you've never imagined. Says he'll be able to get us anything we want."
>Lentil giggles
<"There's that little house in the country, space-monkey."
>Liner frowns
~"She your girl, Anonymous?"
>you scratch your head
"Uh…"
>Lentil answers by throwing herself on top of your crossed legs
<"Yeah. Sure. Fuck it. Why not?"
>she has a giggling fit right there in your lap
>apparently
>when you're high on rainbow
>you get to bypass all the uncomfortable conversations and formalities that would normally precede such a declaration
"Okay, I guess she is. Why?"
>Liner really likes looking at her hooves today
~"Uh, no reason. I was just…"
>she sighs
~"Look, I get that you're high, but do you have to… I don't know, act so much like it?"
>you stare at Silver Lining like she's got flies in her eyes
>actually, you can see flies in her eyes
>Lentil clambers up your torso and smiles
<"Yeah. 'Cause that's the whole point of getting high."
~"Huh?"
<"Yeah, dude. It's like drinking. You get drunk so you have an excuse to stumble around and dance on tables and shit, right?"
~"I don't get drunk either."
<"Yeah, yeah, but you get what I'm saying, right? Like, what's the point of wasting all these neos on… on, like, fucking poison and shit, if I don't even get to look at my hoof and say how weird it is?"
>Lentil hasn't sounded this eloquent in months
>Liner's eyes have become a pair of whirling kaleidoscopes
>for the first time since showing up, she sits down
~"Fuck it. Lemme try one of those. Maybe the implant wasn't made with this stuff in mind."
"Fuckin' right. Let's ruin the fuck out of your life, Liner."
>you hand her a rainbow
~"Sure."
>she pops it
>and swallows
>no sooner does she swallow the little pill than there's a flash of light
>and the rainbow clatters to the floor beneath her
~"Nope."
>Lentil reaches for the pill and pops it herself
<"Bummer, dude."

>you're awoken by a sheet of paper slapping you in the face
>you're kept awake by a strong itch pretty much everywhere in your body
>Lentil is still curled up at your side
>she's twitching and groaning
>but she seems more or less asleep
>the letter reads
>"Anonymous, are you quite sober yet? I can't tell how much of what Silver Lining told you last night you remember, so I'm sending Linwood Jinny to your hole to tell you what I want. Do hear her out. By the time I'm through I'll be able to reward you with quite literally anything you want. That little house in the country? Done. Rehab for you and your mare? Easy. All you've got to do is help me out here. - D.S."
"Geez."
<"Anon…"
"Yeah?"
<"We got any more of that rainbow?"
"No."
<"Shit."
>Lentil rolls out of bed and lands hard on her hooves
<"We got anything?"
"Some pain-killers, maybe."
<"That'll work."
>you sit up
>and immediately bash your head on the low ceiling
>by the time you quit yelling and rubbing your head, you make out Lentil fiddling with a bottle
>she's shivering
"Lentil…"
<"Yeah?"
"You got it real bad."
>at last, she manages to pop the lid off
>it flies into some corner of the room
<"I know."
>what is that?
>a dozen pills in her hoof?
>nope, they're down her throat now
"Listen, I'm getting a job offer. He's promising a big payoff."
<"Yeah?"
"Big enough to get us both rehab. Big enough to get us both out of Ponyville."
>she glares at you
<"Anon…"
"Look at yourself. You're OD'ing on aspirin just to function."
<"The hell is aspirin?"
"It's, uh, what we called pain-killers back home. That's not the point. The point is, we don't have to live like this. I can make up for fucking up your life."
<"Anon."
>Lentil takes a deep breath
>stops shivering
>leans against the wall
>sits down
<"You didn't fuck up my life. With my job, I could have had enough for an apartment within a month. I chose to come with you. I fucked up my own life, of my own free will, like a big girl."
"But why, for fuck's sake?"
<"Because fuck office work. My cutie mark is a flower, I'm supposed to be a gardener. But there's no room to have a garden here in this shithole city. Figured I'd rather hang out with a space alien than spend another minute in that damned cubicle. Is that so weird?"
"Well, sorry if I've been kind of boring for a space alien. But I can get you that garden."
<"Anon, you can't trust every Nightville scumbag who promises you the moon. It's probably a scam."
"It's the same guy I've been working for. He hasn't missed a payoff yet."
>Lentil sighs
<"Big payoff means a big job."
"Yeah."
<"How big?"
"Don't know yet. Someone's coming over to tell me about it."
<"Anyone I know?"
"Calls herself Linwood Jinny. Apparently she's some kind of mega-wealthy donkey."
<"That Linwood Jinny?"
"Yeah. Geez, how come everyone has heard of this donkey but me?"
<"Because you're new in this world."
>something pounds on your doorboard
"Yeah, well, that's probably her. Hang on a sec, you'll get to meet a celebrity."
>you push the board off of the hole
>sure enough, the old, posh donkey is right there
"Hey, Jinny, Darkstar said you'd be coming."
_"I know."
"Uh, well, come on down, make yourself at-"
>you're interuppted by a big clattering sound from behind you
"Lentil?"

>it was Linwood Jinny's idea to get Lentil to Nightville's black market clinic
>Lentil hasn't opened her eyes since she collapsed
>she's twitching and groaning and sweating on a hospital bed
>you're nearby, holding her hoof
>Linwood Jinny is somewhere in the background
>harrumphing like a rich jackass
_"It was quite fortunate I arrived when I did."
"Yeah. Real excellent timing. Makes you wonder."
_"I say. What does it make you wonder, Anonymous?"
>you stroke Lentil's mane
_"I will tell you, Anonymous, that I received a letter from Darkstar telling me you'd be in need of my help."
"I bet you did."
>a darkly-colored unicorn doctor walks into the room
>he's holding a syringe in his magic
>he gives Lentil the shot
"What's that supposed to do?"
>the doctor ignores you and walks out of the room
_"It's a bit of mundane medicine, Anonymous. As in, no magic involved. The effects may seem a bit shocking to you, but please do not panic."
>Lentil
>stops
>fucking
>breathing
>you whirl on the donkey
"You fucking had her killed!"
_"No. No. No, I did not. Darkstar called it a 'chemically-induced false death.' Your friend is on the verge of multiple organ failure due to heavy drug use. This chemical will keep her preserved in this state until she is ready to be revived."
"You mean until I've finished whatever job it is Darkstar wants me to do."
_"More or less, yes."
"Seems like an awful drastic measure to take to get one broke pillhead working for you."
_"Quite. Unfortunately for you, you're a bit more valuable than the average broke pillhead." 
"I was gonna take the damn job anyway."
_"And now you won't back out."
>something sharp pricks you right in the butt
>the dark unicorn doctor snuck up behind you and injected you with something
"The hell'd you just have him do to me?"
_"He's fixed you. Now, you are not a pillhead at all."
"An implant?"
_"Yes. For the success of our mission, it will be better for you to avoid drug use entirely."
"Son of a bitch, that hurts. The hell is this mission anyway?"
_"A number of assignments. We're going to do a bit of travelling around the country for the expedience of Silver Lining's physical missions. You're going to come with so that we can keep track of you."
"And at the end?"
_"Whatever you want. Your mare is restored to health, and you retire to the country. Perhaps more, depending on what exactly Darkstar is able to gain through our assistance.
"If this is some kind of scam-"
_"-It isn't."
"If this is some kind of fucking scam, lady, and if Darkstar doesn't show his face for me to flatten…"
_"Oh, what?"
"I'm gonna wring your fucking neck."

Chapter 3: The Crystal Heart

>Ponyville Train Station is a big, dirty, grey building that probably used to be clean and white
>it's full of lots and lots of cute little ponies
>all of them giving you weird, sidelong glances
>in a big city like this, the general populace never really gets used to having a big space alien living among them
>but they do get used to weirdness in general
>so their glances don't last too long
>the anti-narcotic implant in your butt keeps you from feeling the effects of the cigarette in your mouth
>but it would feel weird to stand around doing absolutely nothing
>so you smoke away regardless
>someone tugs at your pant-leg
~"Filthy habit, you know."
>you take a long drag before responding
"Not for me it isn't. Not anymore, anyway."
>Silver Lining is clad in her signature black dress, plus a black, wide-brimmed hat and a pair of opaque sunglasses
~"Jinny hook you up with an implant?"
"Yup."
~"You know, that implant is really designed for folks like me, who run the risk of getting poisoned or drugged against our will. But for a pillhead as bad as you…"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. What's with the hat? Were we supposed to bring disguises?"
~"No, no, I just… don't like showing my face out in big places like this. Makes me nervous. Besides, you're pretty much un-disguisable."
"True."
>your train squeals to a stop in front of you
>you take another, long, ineffectual drag from your useless cigarette
>then you cast it to the ground and crush it, leaving it to its final rest among hundreds of its brothers
"What do you know about Darkstar?"
~"Hm?"
"Darkstar. Our boss. What do you know about him?"
~"Uh, not much. Anonymous, do you think maybe we should wait til we get somewhere a little more private to discuss this?"
"Relax. We both sneak around for a living, right?"
~"Uh, sure."
"People aren't half as observant as you'd expect. And half the time, when they do notice something, they pretend not to. I don't think anyone here knows who Darkstar is, anyway."
~"Okay, fine. I still don't know much."
>the doors on the train whirr open
>ponies come filing out
"What do you know?"
~"First got a hold of me about nine months ago. Makes a little note pop up in my face, tells me to do something, makes neos pop up in my face when I do it."
"Same here. That's all he's ever done?"
~"Well, what else do you think he could do?"
"I dunno. Ever have any weird coincidences with him? Anything like he's watching you, or reading your mind or something? Or anything… I dunno, weird?"
~"I mean, he probably has to know where we are to send us letters and money."
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Shit, you're right."
~"Anonymous, what's all this about?"
"Lentil's in a coma."
~"Sun, Anonymous, I'm sorry. And you're saying Darkstar did it?"
"I dunno. I mean, she was chugging pain-killers when it happened, but it was a weird coincidence. Linwood Jinny drops by, my mare passes out, and Jinny is all ready with a hospital room and a chemical to put her into a coma."
~"Oh, Sun, and she told you she wasn't gonna cure Lentil til the job was finished?"
"Yup."
~"That's fucked up. How come I never got anything like that?"
"I gots a special brain."
>the ponies stop filing out of the train
>AM letters light up on signs over the doors
>"ALL ABOARD TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE"

"The hell do they call this place the Crystal Empire for?"
~"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, it's not crystal, and it's not an empire. This place looks just like Ponyville."
~"Well, uh, I've heard it's got some crystal buildings near the center of town. And I guess it used to be an empire before Equestria had it. I dunno, it's got its own princess."
"I thought there was only one princess."
~"I mean, there pretty much is. I think the royal family up here is just a ceremonial thing."
"Oh, so there's a whole family of princesses?"
~"There's, like, three crystal princesses."
"You'd think the oldest one would just call herself the empress."
~"I don't think Princess Twilight would let her. An empress is above a princess, you know."
_"Discussing politics, are we?"
>Linwood Jinny meets you on the platform
>a big, fuzzy scarf is coiled around her neck like some kind of arctic python
"Sure."
_"How wonderful. There are so few who take an interest in such things anymore. But now is the time to discuss the task at hoof. Come with me."
>Linwood Jinny's cab is drawn by a couple of ponies who look extra pastel
>the inside is probably spacious for a donkey
>but you have to hunch over
_"Are the two of you familiar with the artifact that protects the Crystal Empire from the bitter winters of the north?"
~"The Crystal Heart?"
"The what?"
_"The Crystal Heart. It's an ancient artifact of great power, fueled by the feelings of the ponies of the Crystal Empire. Fueled by pride and joy, it casts a protective shield over the Empire and projects harmony across all of Equestria."
"I haven't exactly noticed a lot of harmony in Equestria."
_"Yes, well, the Empire has declined somewhat. There isn't much pride or joy in these parts anymore. Just enough to keep the city from being consumed by the cold."
"All right. What happens if it's fueled by something else?"
_"Then the Empire is vulnerable to enslavement, and the Heart projects misery and darkness over all of Equestria."
"Shit, a literal heart of darkness. I bet the princesses here throw fantastic holiday parties."
_"What is a heart of darkness?"
"It's a, um, an expression from my world. I guess it doesn't really apply here."
~"Okay, wait. What does the Crystal Heart have to do with us?"
>Linwood Jinny claps her hooves together once
_"We're going to steal it."
~"Oooooh, I was so afraid you were gonna say that!"
_"Calm down, child. We're not going to steal the whole thing. I believe you have an implant that contains a cutting spell somewhere in you?"
~"Yeah, I do. Still, it's completely impossible!"
_"Of course it's possible. The Crystal Empire is not as wealthy as it once was. The Crystal Heart has only one guard posted at a time."
~"And he's definitely got an alert implant!"
"A what?"
~"It means that if he sees something wrong, or if any harm comes to him, someone - probably the princesses themselves - will know immediately."
"And you get a faceful of alicorn magic."
~"Yeah. Not fun."
_"Buckets of fun, dear. You forget, we have Anonymous."
"What can I do?"
_"Didn't Darkstar only just show you how to enter a mind from the Other World?"
>you grimace
"Hell."

>the Other World flows around you
"You know, I actually have no idea what to do."
>the Crystal Castle doesn't have a magically-linked Other World location like PVU-FAM did
>it's not like you can just waltz up to the spot where the guard would be right now
>and he's obviously not going to be banded up right now
>so it's not like you can just find him in the Other World
/"Testing, testing, 1 2 3, can you hear me, Mr. Poster?"
"Holy shit. Cosmos?"
/"Ah, not exactly. Touch that little triangle there."
>you look around until your eyes land on on a grey, isosceles triangle with rounded corners
"Oh boy."
>you touch it
>the room you're taken into resembles your hole in Nightville
>Cosmos stands grinning proudly at you from the middle of it
/"Hey, Anon. Like the decor?"
>you bump your head
"Not even a little."
/"Ugh. Picky."
>Cosmos' horn glows for a moment
>and the room becomes a spacefleet stateroom
>just like you'd find on the fighter carrier you were attached to
>and you fall flat on your ass
"Holy fuck!"
/"Ah, I take it you were hoping for less familiar, not more."
>Cosmos' horn glows once more
>and you're in Cosmos' AM shop
/"Yeah, I guess this setting makes the most sense, considering what I look like."
"Uh…"
/"Obvious question time?"
"Yeah. How can you see me?"
/"Oh, that's not so hard. As the only being in this world without any kind of magic, the space you occupy appears as a void in the Other World to a mind as powerful as mine. From there it's not too hard to figure out what you look like right now and fill in the details."
"Right. You're not Cosmos."
/"We've been over that already."
"Yeah. One more obvious question."
>Cosmos grins and holds out his hoof
/"Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name."
"Darkstar."
/"You bet."

>now that you've gotten some instructions, the task seems fairly doable
>apparently, you can lock on to the guard's alert implant itself
>every guard in this city has one
>but Darkstar said you'd know the right one when you saw it
>of course there's the question of why Darkstar can't just do it himself
>but he says that the alert implant would notice him traipsing around in the guard's mind and get triggered
>now
>if you'll just focus on the concept of alertness
>back on Earth, there was a concept called "planoforming"
>this was the tech that was going to take mankind out of the Solar System
>the theory went that, with the right equipment, a fighter pilot could pass through "space2"
>that is, 2-dimensional space
>there'd been a few successful experiments with it
>but it wasn't a sure enough thing that it could be deployed to the spacefleet at large
>it wasn't the sort of thing they were gonna trust a lieutenant junior grade with
>but the all-knowing "they" said that it worked by imagining where you wanted to go
>in other words, you imagine Mars, fold space with your fucking mind, and end up in Mars' orbit two seconds later
>it's the sort of exciting military technology that all the cadets and recruits talk about excitedly for years on end before it gets shitcanned due to budget cuts
>the older instructors at the Academy used this sort of wording to compare it to the experimental laser cannons of decades ago
>anyway
>navigating the Other World proper is a lot like how they say planoforming works
>which is good, because otherwise searching for something specific in an infinite magical void would be impossible
>this, then, what you're looking at
>this is probably the most distinctive alert implant in the Crystal Empire
>it's not necessarily that it's distinctive in and of itself
>it's that it seems to be connected to something that's very distinctive
>something very bright
>something you almost can't bear to look at
>you're guessing it's the Crystal Heart
>okey dokey then
>you grab hold of the little red exclamation mark
>and close your eyes
>and focus
>and when you open your eyes
>you're in

>the guard's mind is very different from the old professor's
>there are no guards anywhere in sight
>and rather than an ethereal void, this mind has the appearance of a classical pantheon
>shining white pillars are placed logically throughout the building
>besides the exit door, there are dozens of doorways cut into the marble walls, all labelled and sorted according to category
>there are doors for memories, fears, hopes, senses, and many more functions of the mind
>in the center of the space stands a massive, imposing, pink princess pony
>this, you assume, must be an image of the Crystal Empire's chief princess
>as a former officer, this is actually quite astonishing to you
>this level of order and loyalty would be unimaginable in the US Spacefleet
>you barely even remember who the president was when you got sucked here less than a year ago
>anyway, Darkstar said you'd have to find a way to get the guard to not see Silver Lining
>easy, right?
>well, at least the door to the senses is clearly labeled
>inside the senses door, there are a number of machines with buttons and screens
>they're a lot like you'd find on the bridge of a space ship, actually
>huh
>there's no way this guard pony could know what an OJ-1000 computer display console looks like
>you wonder how much of what you're seeing is from the guard, and how much of it is your own mind's interpretation
>anyway
>you pick out the console that displays what the guard is seeing
>in the corner of his vision, you can pick out a shiny, floating, blue heart
>but what he's staring at is a cute little silver mare in a little black dress
>what the hell is she doing?
>waiting for some kind of sign, probably
>well
>you were qualified on a few consoles
>maybe if you just re-center the display a few times, the guard will just start looking in another direction
>fiddling with the trackball to this end for a few minutes proves fruitless
>the guard looks in another direction for about a second
>and then looks right back at Liner
>Darkstar said it would be difficult to just up and override a mind's free will
>except for yours, apparently, because you're a weak-willed drug addict
>considering how organized this guy's mind is, you're probably not going to steal his motor functions from him any time soon
>hm
>maybe turning off the console would make him go blind
>but then, maybe if he suddenly goes blind that'll set off the alarm implant
>well
>radars and other sensors aren't always perfectly accurate
>sometimes they mistake a cloud of space dust for a Chinese dreadnought
>so these consoles were made with a certain feature
>console watchstanders are never ever authorized to use it
>therefore every console watchstander in the spacefleet knows how to do it perfectly
>taking the trackball, you click on Silver Lining
>a number of options appear on the character readout screen
>one of them is "mark track as noise"
>you select this one
>Silver Lining winks out of existence
>the guard's vision shakes slightly
>a voice crackles out of one of the other machines
>"Huh. I coulda sworn I saw someone."
>nice
>you touch the little cloud in your jacket
>all you gotta do now is sit back and enjoy the show
>except that there is no show
>Silver Lining sees the guard's head moving as he scans the room for threats
>but she has no idea what to do with it
~"So… is that it?"
>fuck's sake
>you run out the theater door
>sit your ass back down at that console
>and re-center the display up and down a few times
>that should make the guard look like he's nodding
>and you touch the cloud again
~"Uh, okay then."
>as Silver Lining approaches the Heart, the guard does not react
>nor does he react when a thin jet of blowtorch fire erupts from Liner's hoof
>he doesn't even seem to notice your partner when she pockets the little shard of crystal she's cut off from the Heart
>but when another guard walks in through the door behind him
>and when that other guard shouts at Silver Lining
>well
>that gets his attention

>okay
>fuck
>you run out of the theater
>in the guard's visual console, you can definitely see Liner again
>the hearing machine crackles to life
>"You! What are you doing?"
"Who, me? I'm just, um…"
>you can do it, Liner
>just talk your way out of it
>just act like you didn't know you weren't supposed to get so close
>piece of cake
>you got this
>Silver Liner closes her eyes
>and turns invisible
>"What? Where did she go?"
>red lights begin flashing in the guard's mind while a siren wails obnoxiously
>well
>if you had to guess
>you'd say the alert implant has gone off
>wonderful
>you reach for the circuit breaker on the console and flip it down
>"Hey! I can't see!"
>well at least that worked
>"Lockdown in 10…"
>holy fuck
>time to go
>"9…"
>you're running across the main part of the mind
>"5…"
>there's the door
>"3…"
>and you're out
>huh
>wasn't quite as climactic as you'd hoped
>these sorts of escapes are supposed to be a bit more last-second
>no, wait, you spoke too soon
>the red exclamation mark that symbolizes the alert implant is flashing and wailing too
>there's about a dozen guardponies flying right for it
>ah, of course they have guards stationed in the Other World too
>don't wanna bump into these guys
>you band out
>in the Real World, you've been sitting on a crystal couch in a crystal hotel room
>between the hard rocks under your ass and the sun shining through the walls, it's actually really uncomfortable
>Linwood Jinny is seated across from you, sipping some tea
"Yes, Anonymous? Are you finished?"
"Uh, sort of."
"What does 'sort of' mean?"
"It means that Silver Lining grabbed a shard of that Crystal Heart…"
"So you're finished?"
"But she's also being chased by guards right now."
>Jinny sighs
"Oh, dear."
"Yeah. What do we do?"
>Jinny looks out the window for a moment
"There's nothing we can do."
"Oh, come on, aren't you supposed to be rich? Can't you send, like, bodyguards in there or something?"
"That would be a very quick way to stop being rich."
"Can't Darkstar just poof her out of there?"
"Not while the castle is on alert, no. There are certain protections in place right now."
"Well… fuck."
"If you would like to do something, Anonymous, you can put your band back on. Monitor Silver Lining and tell me whether she gets captured or escapes."
>so you band up
>and you touch that little cloud

>Silver Lining creeps invisible through the Crystal Castle
>she secures herself in a dark room, and scans the area to make sure she's alone
~"Hey, jackass, you watching?"
~"I bet you're wondering why I didn't just pretend to be some tourist and back off from those guards."
~"Well, the truth is… so am I."
~"Sun, I'm a dumbass."
~"I'm gonna try something pretty stupid. It's gonna scramble all my AMs for a few minutes and attract all the guards, so if it doesn't work I'm screwed."
>Liner approaches the thick crystal wall and taps it a few times with her hoof
>it makes short, thick thudding sounds, like smacking the ground
~"Oh, never mind, the sound blast won't work here."
~"Shit."
~"Shit!"
>Silver Lining waves her hoof in front of her face
>she can see it
>she focuses on her invisibility implant
>tries to make it work again
>but it's no good
~"Cheap piece of crap."
~"Well."
>Liner slips out of her dress
>she lays it out on the floor in front of her
>using her blowtorch implant, she cuts two holes out of the sides
>Silver Lining puts her dress back on and slides her wings through the holes she cut out
~"Hey, jackass, you said ponies aren't as observant as we think they are."
~"Think they'll notice all the bumps in my wings?"
~"I'll just try to keep my feathers fluffed up a bit."

~"All right, I'm gonna try that idea to pass as a tourist now."
>Silver Lining steps into the passageway and looks at everything with wide-eyes
>she squints and grunts for a moment
>and a map of the castle appears in the corner of her left eye's vision
>it's got a little moving red blip to mark Liner's position, like one of those first-person video games from a hundred years ago
~"Neat trick, huh? Let's just take a left here, and…"
>going around the corner, she all but smacks into a guard
>"You!"
>Liner jumps back, making a point of spreading her wings in surprise
>the guard pauses and sighs
>"Tourists are supposed to wait in the lobby. There's a dangerous mare in here, it's not safe to wander alone like that."
~"A dangerous mare? Is that her?"
>she points to behind the guard
>the guard turns to look at what she's pointing at
>Silver Lining flexes her wing and pokes a bump under her dress with it
>in the distance, a silver earth pony mare in a black dress runs across the passageway
>"Hey! Stop!"
>the guard runs off after the dangerous mare
>Silver Lining keeps on walking
~"Like that illusion implant? It's even touchier than the invisibility one, it usually only works once a day."
>she groans
~"Oh, Sun. I probably should've just let him take me to the lobby. That's where the front door is."
>she's trotting down a stairwell now
~"Yeah, I know, my plan doesn't sound smart, but it's the only exit I've got."
>down, down, down she goes
>at last, Silver Lining picks a door to go through
>she's in a large room filled with milling tourists and fidgety guards
>"You there!"
>again, Liner shrinks while spreading her wings
~"Th-the other guy told me all tourists had to come here…"
>the guards glare at the wings and groan
>"All right. Just wait in here with the others until the security alert is over."
>Silver Lining salutes and giggles
~"Yes, sir!"
>then she stalks off to the corner
~"All right, show's basically over. I'm just gonna wait here til they let us go."
>bright letters scroll over the map display in her left eye
>"No. Can hear guards comms. Already suspect you. Leave now before discovery. - D.S."
~"Whoah. Darkstar?"
>no further lettering appears to answer her question
~"Well, guess I'm leaving now."
>Silver Lining takes brisk steps toward the guard posted at the palace door
>"Ma'am, nobody is leaving during security alert."
~"Oh, no, I just had a question."
>"What?"
>she points her hoof at the guard
>there's a huge, ear-shattering noise
>the theater dissapears, leaving you in the Other World proper
>you rip your band off and cradle your poor ears
>Linwood Jinny looks up
_"Well? Did she get away?"
"I, uh, I think so."

>it isn't til it's dark out that your hotel room's door opens and closes on its own
>Silver Lining flickers in and out of visibility
"I see you."
~"I know, I know."
>in a moment, the silver pegasus stands fully visible
>her little black dress is completely missing
"So? What happened next?"
~"Huh?"
"After you blasted the guard, I didn't get to see the ending."
~"Oh. No, you pretty much did. I flew as fast as I could to the downtown area and mingled with the lowlifes for a couple hours. Then I went invisible and walked here."
"Meet any nice lowlifes?"
~"Never."
_"Silver Lining, your clothes are missing. Do you still have the piece of the Crystal Heart?"
~"Yeah, uh, the dress started coming apart after I cut those wing-holes into it. The shard is right…"
>Liner sticks her hoof up under her wing
~"Here."
>Jinny takes the shard
_"Excellent. We'll leave for Canterlot tomorrow. I advise you to get your rest now."
>Linwood Jinny saunters off to another room
>moonlight is diffused through the crystal walls
>it gives Silver Lining's coat an ivory luster
"Hey, Liner."
>she sighs
~"Do you have to call me that?"
"What?"
~"Liner."
"It's a nickname."
~"Just use my name."
"Silver Lining is too long, Silver by itself sounds dumb, and Lining by itself sounds wierd."
>a whining groan escapes her lips
~"That's no fair. Anonymous is long, wierd, and dumb, and my only nickname for you offends Jinny."
"Lots of folks call me Anon."
~"All right, fine. What did you want, Anon?"
"Why are you here?"
~"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, like, I already told you what happened with Lentil."
~"Right."
~"Honestly, everything I've done with Darkstar has been about supporting Lentil in the first place."
"Okay."
~"So what's your stake in all this?"
>Liner frowns
~"No stake."
"All this risking your life, breaking the law…?"
~"Just trying to get paid."
"That's it?"
>Liner scoffs
~"Yeah. That's it. Nothing wrong with making money, is there?"
"No, sure, that's-"
~"What you should really be asking is what's Jinny's stake in all this."
~"Because she sure as shit doesn't need the money."

Chapter 4: The Last Job

>Canterlot Mountain is now visible from the train
>should be close enough
>technically, you can access any part of the Other World from any part of the Real World
>but otherworldly locales with real equivalents are weird
>if you try to get into them from too far away, it kind of hurts your head
>anyway, Liner has been somewhat less than a talkative companion today
>so you slip your band on
>and you make your way to the Canterlot Library
>inside the venue are shelves and shelves and shelves of books
>fortunately, you don't have to sift through any of them
>you sit down at the nearest table
"Who is Linwood Jinny?"
>a copy Who's Who in Equestria - 1111th Year of the Sun falls onto the table before you, open to a page with Jinny's face plastered onto it
>to anyone walking by, it'll look like the book is reading itself
>"Linwood Jinny was born in the 1024th year of the Sun…"
>that makes you look twice
>holy shit
>she's nearly a hundred years old
>you figured she was in her 60s or something
>"… in the frontier town of Dodge Junction. When Jinny was very youung, her parents came to a bad end by burglars."
>well that sucks
>"She was adopted by her great uncle, a burro named Dismule, and went to live with him in Canterlot."
"What the hell is a burro?"
>a copy of Western Slang and You - A Guide for the Not-So-Wild, 1005 edition flops open to the relevant page
>"We ain't got no donkeys out here in the Wild West, just burros. Burros count themselves as different from donkeys, and take pride in their history of hard work and rugged independence. You can find a few burros in almost every settlement in the West, every one of them happy to offer a smile and a helping hoof."
>right, got it
>apparently Equestria had a Wild West back in the day
>the more you know
>back to Who's Who
>"Dismule had spent decades of his life mining the fields outside of towns such as Picacholt and Marenberg. During this time he amassed a great fortune, and when Jinny joined him he was enjoying a very lavish retirement. When he passed away, his fortune went to Jinny."
>uh huh
>but what did she do with that fortune?
>you turn the page
>and on it is a passage about some guy named Loose Cannon
>huh?
>you flip back to the previous page
>that's it?
>Jinny's story ends with her inheriting her fortune
>which probably happened over seventy years ago
>the hell's she been doing since then?
>surely she's not famous just for being rich
"Uh, get me any books at all that mention Linwood Jinny."
>a half a dozen books clatter onto the table
>the one that catches your eye is the one open to a photo of Linwood Jinny shaking hooves with Princess Twilight Sparkle
>"Linwood Jinny pictured with Princess Twilight at the grand opening of the Dismule Hotel."
>oh, photo op with the princess?
>"The Dismule Hotel was the first building to feature interior lighting based on applied magics. This revolutionary sctructure was the first of many which Linwood Jinny would finance for Picacholt, launching what had been a little apple-farming settlement into the avant garde of the modern age."
>reading on, it seems like Jinny turned this Picacholt into a sort of Equestrian Reno
>Reno as opposed to Las Vegas, because you happen to know of a casino city called Las Pegasus
>but why Picacholt?
>what's so special about it?
>is it just because her uncle mined there?
"Tell me about Picacholt."
>The History of Picacolt plops open to page one
>"Picacholt was founded in 985 by Cider Donut of the Apple Family…"
>yeah, yeah, yeah
>you sort of skim through the book til you notice something that interests you
>and it interests you a whole lot
>"Landmarks nearby: McCowlick's Leap, The Ghost Town of Marenberg, Darkstar's Mountain…"
>"Darkstar's Mountain…"
>holy hell
"All right, get all of this shit off the table and tell me all about Darkstar's Mountain."
>the pile of books disappears
>in their place falls an old map
>you can pick out Darkstar's Mountain easily enough between Picacholt and Marenberg
>but that's all the information you can get out of the map
"What the fuck, is that it? I need-"
>something pokes you in the Real World
>you nearly jump out of your fucking skin
>the band comes off
>Silver Lining is staring at you
~"Anon, we're here."

_"Ah, Canterlot. I can still remember when it was the capital."
"Why would Canterlot be the capital? I thought the princess lived in Ponyville."
_"When I was very young, Princess Twilight was only one of five princesses. Though really, it was three, since the Crystal princesses are more ceremonial than anything."
~"Oh, come on, even you weren't born before Celestia and Luna disappeared."
_"I was, actually. They had more or less handed the kingdom to Princess Twilight by the time I was born, but I was a school-filly before they disappeared."
~"What? How old are you?"
_"That's an impolite question."
"94."
_"Snooping. Even less polite."
"So is kidnapping my mare. So these other two princesses lived here in Canterlot?"
_"Yes, yes, yes. In that very castle, as a matter of fact."
~"Hang on, am I the only one who's totally not okay with Jinny being in her 90s?"
_"What? You didn't think I was a pretty young thing like you, did you?"
~"I mean, sure, you're old, but… how?"
_"Don't think you're the only one who can afford implants, Ms. Lining. Furthermore…"
>Jinny glances at you suggestively
_"Don't think I don't know how you could."
>Liner looks at the ground
"Huh?"
_"Our next assignment will be to retrieve something from the warehouses of Canterlot Applied Magics. A single horn band. It will be under heavy magical shielding, so you, Anonymous, will have to do something about it from the Other World."
"Well how the hell do I do that?"
_"I am to give you the shard from the Crystal Heart, and then you are to speak with Darkstar in the Other World."
~"And whenever that's done I sneak in and take the band?"
_"And Ashy Pool won't know what hit her."
"Ashy Pool?"
>Liner sighs
~"Yeah. CEO of Canterlot Applied Magics."
_"Anonymous has met her before, in a manner of speaking."
>Silver Lining's eyes narrow in realization
~"Oh, I bet he did."
"Yeah, yeah, it was that time I slapped your ass."
>Linwood Jinny breaks out into loud, braying guffaws
_"Oh, my."

>Silver Lining slips into the warehouse without much trouble
>and you band up and wait
>pretty soon, you see that little horn-shape that takes you out of the Other World proper
/"Anon! How's my favorite human?"
>Darkstar is, again, standing in the guise of Cosmos within an otherworldly replica of Cosmos' AM shop
"Fantastic. How the hell do I crack that shield?"
/"Oh that's easy, easy. You got the shard from the Crystal Heart with you?"
"In the Real World, yeah."
/"Perfect, this'll work just fine then."
>Darkstar waves his hoof, and a scroll falls into it
/"Little spell I cooked up. I'd cast it myself, only I can't."
"Well, I'm the only creature on this planet without any magic of any kind, so I'm not sure what you want me to do with it."
/"Ah, don't worry about that, don't worry. I got Silver Lining staring right at the shield. It's generated by an artifact that was created by some old fart named Starswirl, who you've probably never heard of."
"You're right, I haven't heard of him."
/"That's fine. You can look him up next time you try digging into my business at the library."
"Saw that, did you?"
>Darkstar grins
/"Ain't much in this Other World I don't see."
"I'm probably gonna keep digging, you know."
>Darkstar shrugs
/"Yeah, whatever. That's fine. In fact, I encourage it. Dig away."
"Uh huh. The shield."
/"Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. It's real easy. The Crystal Heart is both a shield-generating artifact and an empathy-generating artifact."
"Meaning?"
/"Meaning that when you cast that spell, the shard in your pocket is gonna start cozying up to the shield until it's able to replicate the shield's substance perfectly."
"So… it'll be a double shield?"
/"No. My spell is gonna use the replicated shield substance to punch a tunnel right through the shield. Silver Lining will sneak through, grab the band, and teleport out."
"She's got an implant to teleport?"
/"Nope. But that horn band is general purpose."
>general purpose
>the words punch you in the gut and force you to exhale
>even you know that GP bands are the holy grail of AMs
>anyone who's got one can use it to do almost anything imaginable
>they're probably the most illegal thing on the planet
"So that's why you want it."
>Darkstar looks up and sways his head in thought
/"Eh, among other reasons."
"All right, okay. But how do I use the spell?"
/"Oh, right. It's easy, real easy, I swear. All you gotta do is flip into Silver Lining's theater, stare straight at the shield, and read what's on the scroll."
"That's it?"
/"Uh, a timer will appear. Keep it in your jacket, check up on it in about an hour, and then it should be ready."
"An hour?"
/"Yeah, yeah yeah. Spend a little time doing whatever, then take out the timer and push the red button on the top."
"Then the tunnel will appear?"
/"Yep. Silver Lining gets the band, gets out, mission accomplished."
"Huh."
/"Aw, what's the matter? You look like you got a burning question on your mind."
"I have about a billion."
/"Ah! Only got time for one."
"Okay, how the hell is it possible for me to cast this spell?"
>Darkstar scoffs
/"What a waste of a question."
"Well?"
/"Eh, you'll find out. Later."
>the AM shop disappears, leaving you floating in the swirling Other World proper

>sure enough, the big screen in Liner's head is occupied by a big blue dome
>you take a seat and unroll the scroll Darkstar gave you
>what the hell even is this?
>you can't recognize this language as anything
>but Darkstar had the courtesy to write it out in the English alphabet
>so you sound out the words out loud
>there's no perceptible change in the shield
>you're not sure if it worked
>but a few words scroll across Liner's map display
>"Hour starts now."
>Silver Lining blinks, shakes her head, and sighs
~"Finally. I'm gonna go sneak around a little."
>"Don't get in too much trouble now."
~"Yeah, whatever."
>the picture on the screen changes ever so slightly
>it takes you a moment to realize that Silver Lining's muzzle has disappeared from view
~"Going invisible. You can stick around and watch if you want, Anon, but it probably won't be as exciting as last time."
>you do stick around for a few minutes
>but it doesn't take long for you to get bored of Silver Lining winding through grey passageways
>you make sure the timer is in your jacket
>then you head out the theater door
>a quick flight later and you're in the Canterlot Library again
>what?
>Darkstar said 'dig away'
>finding a table, you get to work right away
"Tell me about Darkstar's Mountain."
>once again, the old map falls on the table
>not much help
"Okay, smartass, now why is it called Darkstar's Mountain?"
>a book titled Once Upon a Time in the West plops open to a story titled "Darkstar the Peg-Horned"

>"Many years before the First Year of the Sun, before the Princesses came to Equestria, and before Equestria came to the West, there was a sorcerer named Darkstar."
>"Darkstar left his home among the Unicorn Tribe to seek fortune and warmth in the West, for in those days the squabbling of the Three Tribes made the East very cold."
>"Darkstar found a place in a village, and for a while his magic made life very good for his fellow settlers."
>"But, like so many who would come after Darkstar, the hardness and heat of the desert turned him cruel."
>"He became a bandit, the first the West had ever known."
>"His magic, which he had once used to give so freely, was now used to take what he wanted from other settlers in the West."
>"But one day, he fell in love with a beautiful young mare, and promised to her that she would live in luxury all the days of her life if she would but marry him."
>"But the young mare wouldn't have Darkstar, and had him shamefully driven out of her village."
>"So, in the dead of night, Darkstar snuck into her house and stole her away."
>"Now the young mare's father was a sherrif, and he gathered a band of stallions and tracked Darkstar through the desert.
>"It happened that Darkstar's lair was two days' journey from the village. So when the next night fell, Darkstar made camp by the mountains, bound his prisoner fast, and slept."
>"But the sherrif pursued his daughter without rest, and caught up with Darkstar that very same night."
>"So, while Darkstar was sleeping, the sherrif stamped upon his horn so hard that it broke. So great was Darkstar's pain that he immediately lept up and ran senselessly into the mountains, where the sherrif assumed he must surely perish."
>"The sherrif took his daughter home, and they lived happily for the rest of their lives."
>"But Darkstar still lived."
>"In the mountain he'd fled to, he carved a new horn for himself out of stone and afixed it upon his head. With it, his magical powers were even greater than before."
>"And so, Darkstar became known as Darkstar the Peg-Horned. With his Peg-Horn he continued to raid the villages of the West for many years. It is said that when he grew tired of raiding, he turned his Peg-Horn to the creation of many dark magical artifacts, to which many settlers attribute the lawlessness of the West to this very day."
>after the story, there's a few footnotes from the editor
>"Many sorcerers in the time since Darkstar have tried to make Peg-Horns of their own. None have succeeded, and the means of its creation remains a mystery even in the modern age."
>"For centuries, it was believed that Darkstar's Mountain was still haunted by the dark sorcerer. Reports of strange, apparently-magical phenomena were commonly reported over Darkstar's Mountain until the year 1005, at which point such sightings suddenly grew scarce."
>"Today, the city of Picacholt lies in the shadow of Darkstar's Mountain. You won't find many ponies there who still believe the old legend, but the apple farmers who first settled the land attributed the success of their farms to the unknown magics of Darkstar."

>okay
>so Darkstar named himself after a fairy tale villain
>this might not be super useful in finding out anything about him
>still…
>you can't help noticing that there's a connection between Linwood Jinny and Darkstar
>Picacholt
>Jinny's fortune was made there
>Darkstar's namesake was made there
>is it a coincidence that these two are working together?

>all right
>you're not sure what to make of all this just yet
>you pull the timer out of your jacket
>you've still got a good bit of time before the spell is finished
>even so, you reach for the little cloud
>just to take a little break from all of the digging
>Silver Lining is crouched in what you assume is a ventilation system
>through the grate, an old, fat, grey mare sits at a desk
>Ashy Pool
>without her big fur coat, you now see a pair of wings sticking out of holes in what appears to be the pony equivalent of a pantsuit
>Liner's hoof is pointed directly at the sitting figure
>Silver Lining's breathing is a faint, but ragged and irregular series of gasps and sobs
>the sound of her own heartbeat is so dominating that the theater is vibrating with each thumping contraction
>text flashes across her map display
>"Stop."
>the little silver hoof straightens its aim and steadies itself
>holy shit
>she's going for a kill
>"You'll spoil the mission."
>Silver Lining is frozen
>even her breathing has stopped
>"I'll help you later, I promise."
>the obvious question of "why should I believe you?" seems to occur to Darkstar
>and he answers it without being asked
>"I'd like her out of the way too."
>"I can pay you."
>what the hell?
>you get up and make your way to the theater door
>but you're walking backwards
>because you're unable to tear your eyes away from the screen
>but Silver Lining sighs, almost inaudibly
>she looks away
>you exit the theater

>back in the library, you regret taking your little break
>that was supposed to take your mind off or the questions you already had
>instead, it's given you even more questions to chew on
>just on the off-chance it works…
"What's Silver Lining's relationship with Ashy Pool?"
>nothing appears to answer your question
"Figures. Give me a history of Picacholt."
>your old friend, The History of Picacholt, lands on the table, open to page one
>it's actually kind of a thick book
>you check your timer again
>yeah, no, definitely not enough time to get through it all
>you flip through a few pages until a chart labled "Picacholt's Prehistory" catches your eye
>it's a brief overview of the town's founding in 985 to the opening of the Dismule Hotel in 1056
>an entry under the year 1005 catches your eye
>"The Peg-Horn of Darkstar is recovered by Anonymous the Man."
>you close your eyes
>when you open them, the sentence is still there
>so you blink again
>to no avail, as the impossible sentence remains
>Anonymous… the Man?
>isn't that you?
>unless…
>you flip to the back of the book until you find a glossary
>the entry you're looking for is right near the top of the page
>"Anonymous the Man - a creature from another world. He was educated by Twilight Sparkle upon his unexplained arrival in Equestria in the year 1003. In the year 1005 he set out on his own for Picacholt, and eventually became the Last Legend of the West."
>holy shit
>there was a real life human being in Equestria over a hundred years before you showed up
>and in the year 1005…
>would that have put him in Picacholt at the same time as Dismule?
>and he was taken in by Twilight Sparkle at one point…
>is there something more to that photo of Princess Twilight with Linwood Jinny than meets the eye?
>the theory that's been conceived in your mind is insane
>impossible
>but it provides a feasible explanation for at least one question
>maybe even more feasible than the one Darkstar himself gave you
>How can Darkstar see you in the Other World?

>your insane idea doesn't get as far as getting put into  words
>the timer in your jacket starts buzzing obnoxiously
>library-goers are staring in your general direction, wondering what the hell that empty table is doing
>you touch the cloud
>Liner's theater is now showing an action flick
>the heroine of the film is engaged in a magical firefight against guards with similar augmentations to hers
>actually…
>their black armor looks awful familiar
>if you had to guess, you'd say that these were the goons who broke into your apartment all those days ago
>which makes sense, because you'd just stolen from Ashy Pool
>but it also terrifies you, because that means Ashy Pool knows you stole from her
>what the hell did you steal from her anyway?
>words flash bright red on Liner's eye-display
>"Anon, not yet."
~"Oh, is he watching now? Hang on a second, jackass!"
>"You are surrounded, Silver Lining!"
>judging by that voice's flabby quality, you'd guess that it belongs to Ashy Pool herself
>"Did you really think someone with so many implants would be able to sneak into my warehouse undetected? I was able to watch your movements the whole time!"
~"Fuck me, what a bitch. Hold on just a sec, Anon. One good sound blast should knock them all out."
>the words in Silver Lining's eye panic at this
>"Anon, now!"
>Liner leaps from behind her cover
>you press the button on the timer
>the sound blast tears the theater to pieces
>you're sitting in the Canterlot Library again
>a few seconds later, something warm plops into your lap in the Real World
>you take off your band
>Silver Lining is lying belly up on your lap, hindlegs crossed and forelegs folded under her head
>stretched beneath Liner's mane is a shimmering band of rainbow light
>she grins
~"Neat, huh?"

Chapter 5: Darkstar's Mountain

>when the job was finished, Jinny led you and Silver Lining to two big potato sacks full of bits
>real bits, not neobits
>as in, the ones made with real gold
>after that, you and Liner parted ways
>you went on the first train back to Ponyville
>she chose to stay in Canterlot
>but you made sure Linwood Jinny came with you to Ponyville
>took her to the black market hospital in Nightville
>made her get Lentil fixed up
>get Lentil one of those anti-drug implants
>get Lentil woken up
>Jinny went off to wherever the hell it is she went off to
>Lentil was confused
>didn't realize it had been days since her collapse
>she said it was nice that you'd gotten the money
>but she seemed kind of uneasy
>you took her back to the hole
>wanted to get started on planning your new lives together
>with thousands of gold bits, you could buy the nicest house in any part of the country she liked
>get her that garden she's wanted since she was little
>Lentil seemed quietly enthusiastic
>but first, she wanted to pick up some rainbow
>when you told her about the implant
>that's when the problems started
<"You had them implant me?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I've got one too. We're better now, we'll never have to waste our time on horseradish or rainbow or anything else ever again."
<"I happened to like horseradish and rainbow."
"It's a dangerous habit."
<"It's a habit I happened to like!"
>that was three days ago
>today, you're holding a note in your hands
>a heap of country living brochures lies crumpled up beneath your back
>a plate of the fanciest herbs and flowers in Nightville sits uneaten on the table
>a trail of bits leads from your potato sack to just underneath the entrance-board 
>you found the note tacked up to the board this morning
>"You ruined my life."
>you're alone in the hole

>how long have you been staring at that note?
>days?
>seconds?
>you feel warm
>there's a helium baloon in the back of your head
>and a nasty tuna salad in your gut
>your mouth feels sewn shut
>poof
>a new note winks into existence and flutters down onto your chest
>you pick it up
>"Quit moping and meet me in the Other World already."
>without thinking about who exactly wants to meet you, you get up and grab your band
>it slides on smoothly
/"There you are. All right, you know the drill. Touch the little grey triangle."
>the image of Cosmos in the image of Cosmos' AM shop
>the entity who calls himself Darkstar
"I wasn't moping that long, was I?"
/"Eh, it was a couple hours. I got sick of waiting."
"What do you want?"
>Darkstar grins and shakes his head
/"Man, what a hussy, yeah?"
>you can't find a response to this
/"I mean, all you do for the past nine months is everything for her, and how does she repay you?"
"What do you want, Darkstar?"
/"Listen, I got a story for you. Wanna hear it?"
"Not really."
/"That's the spirit. Once upon a time, there was a young mare who lived in the Old West. The ancient West, really."
/"She was a sheriff's daughter. Never had to work a day in her life. She was bored, Anon. Bored out of her fucking skull."
/"One day, a famous outlaw, a unicorn wizard of evil reputation, came to her town. When the outlaw saw the girl, he fell in love immediately, and asked her to run away with him."
/"She agreed, and that very night the two of them made off into the desert."
/"As they journeyed to the evil wizard's lair, the girl began to realize that he wasn't so evil after all."
/"Oh sure, he stole and terrorized, and even killed sometimes…"
/"But, smitten with the young mare's beauty, the wizard's worldview was turned on its head. He made flourishing, poetic promises to commit no more crimes, and to use his powers to help good villages like the one the young mare came from."
/"Yes, the evil wizard had, within him, aspirations to goodness."
/"And the sherrif's daughter was disgusted."
/"On the second night, the girl saw her father, searching for her in the desert night."
/"The sherrif would have passed the girl by, if she hadn't screamed for him."
/"The rest of the story goes more or less like the version you read in the library."
>you frown
"You didn't ask me here to tell me a story."
>Darkstar laughs
/"Well of course that's not all I wanted to do, but I thought the story might help you."
"It didn't."
/"The moral of the story will. The sherrif's daughter has something in common with your missing mare."
>you can feel your lip curling into a scowl
"And what's that?"
/"Self-destruction."
"What?"
/"Well, think about it. You're a gardener by cutie mark, but you're stuck working some office job you hate."
/"But one day, a big, scary monster drops out of the sky and blows up your home. Almost immediately, he gets caught up in crimes and drugs, turns into a total lowlife."
"Yeah, I know what I did."
/"But did you ever ask yourself, what reason could a well-off mare possibly have for running off with someone like that?"
>a flourescent lightbulb in your brain gradually flickers on
"You're saying…"
/"Yup."
"And all that talk about fixing up our lives…"
/"In her mind? An unforgivable offense. The exact opposite of what attracted her to you in the first place. Your sweet little Lentil wanted to be used up, stepped on, and destroyed."
"But why?"
/"Who knows? Some folks are just like that. They're chronically bored, is what they are."
>you stand still
>just processing this theory
"So the sherrif's daughter, did she really live happily ever after, just like in the book from the library?"
>Darkstar laughs
/"Oh, no. Many years passed, turning the pretty young mare into an ugly old spinster. She sought out the mountain lair she'd driven the wizard into. Threw herself at his hooves. Begged him to save her from the dullness of everyday life."
"So what'd he do?"
>Darkstar grins
>wide and toothy
>like a crocodile
/"He trapped her in a crystal ball and buried it deep beneath the mountain. She's still there to this day, doomed to eternal boredom."
>a laugh bursts through your lips
"That's a good story, man."
>and you frown
"But you're not that wizard, are you?"
>Darkstar smiles and shakes his head
/"Not exactly, no. I'm not Darkstar the Peg-Horned, if that's what you're asking."
"So who are you?"
/"I like to think of myself as Darkstar the Mind-Melder."
"But who are you in the Real World?"
>Darkstar's mirth reaches a fever pitch
>he spends several minutes letting out bellowing guffaws
/"Tell you what. When you band out, you'll find a little present waiting for you in your hole. Take it, and come look for me. I think you know where to find me."
>before you can say anything, Darkstar sweeps his horn across the room, destroying it and leaving you floating in the Other World proper
>something is definitely in your lap in the Real World
>you take off your band to see what it is
>and there in your lap sits a shimmering band of rainbow

>even with the missing hoofful of bits Lentil stole, you're still a wealthy man
>you've booked yourself a first class seat on a train out West
>a train to Picacholt
>why the hell are you doing this?
>maybe it's because you've never lived without a purpose before
>going through the Academy to become a Spacefleet pilot
>climbing the ranks in the Spacefleet
>though you were only in long enough to climb one rank
>then you crash landed here
>and you made Lentil the purpose of your life pretty quick
>which was pretty dumb, in retrospect
>she's gone now
>so what do you do?
>you hop onto the next train that seems to offer a purpose
>no, that's not it
>you're purposeless already
>let's say you do meet Darkstar face-to-face in Picacholt
>then what?
>you work for him?
>why?
>between your big bag of bits and the GP sitting folded in your pocket, you'll never have a reason to work again
>no
>you're heading out West because of your crazy theory
>the impossible theory you came up with in the Canterlot Library
>the insane theory that you haven't put into words til now:
>you think Darkstar is human
>you think Darkstar is a human called Anonymous the Man, who came to this world in the year 1003
>even though that's impossible
>even though that'd make him well over 120 years old now
>but it's like Jinny said
>there are implants that can prolong life
>but Jinny herself is a testament to the fact that they can't put off aging totally
>no
>he's got something better than implants
>the Peg-Horn
>with that, maybe he could stay young forever
/"If that were the case, Darkstar would still alive right now. The original Darkstar, I mean."
>sitting across from you is a shriveled old man with a long, grizzled beard
"Darkstar?"
/"Quiet now, you're the only one who can see me. Don't want folks to stare now."
>(how are you doing this?)
/"That's it, just think. I'll hear you."
>(so how are you doing this?)
/"Oh, that's easy. Thanks to you and Silver Lining, I've gotten a lot stronger."
>(how?)
/"That's all pretty technical, who cares?"
>(fine, so you are human after all?)
>Darkstar's eyes widen in surprise, and he looks down at himself
/"Is this what you think I look like?"
>(yeah, I guess)
>(maybe a little bit younger)
>Darkstar's beard gets a little bit shorter and darker
/"Heh. Well, I'm not one to spoil a good ending. I'll keep you guessing til you see me."
>(fuck you)
/"Hey. Listen. Since you're so interested in the other guy, the other Anon, I'll tell you a little story about him."
>Darkstar slides into the edge of his seat
/"There was a time when he had to take a train into the Crystal Empire. But he was in a bit of trouble, and the guards were looking for him. You know what he did?"
>(what'd he do?)
/"He wrapped himself up in fabric, put on a fake accent, and crawled onboard the train on his hands and knees. He was trying to pass for an old mare from Stalliongrad."
>(and then what?)
/"Oh, he got into the city, saved the day. I guess that's the interesting part, but the point I wanted to get across was the disguise."
>(why?)
/"There's a squadron of CAM private guards about two minutes away from barging into this car."
>well, shit
>(it's not like there's any fabric nearby I can make a disguise out of)
/"Don't need it. You got a GP in your pocket, don't you?"
>that's true
>(think anyone'll notice me putting it on?)
>(or fucking shapeshifting?)
>Darkstar waves his hoof dismissively
/"Nah. It's like you said, folks don't notice things. And if they do, they pretend not to."
>(okey dokey then)
>the shimmering band of rainbow slides onto your head

>amidst the flashing lights and bustling lowlives of Picacholt at night, a train pulls in
>a red pegasus stallion, with a field of stars and planets stamped on his butt, gets off here
>needless to say, this pony is, in fact, you
>which is just as well, since you can see squadrons of CAM guards searching the station for a big, bipedal space alien
>you're making your way through the streets
>magic powers the obnoxious neon logos which turn the black of the desert night into the pink-and-yellow swirls of modern Equestria
>ponies with their manes done up in spikes lunge at each other with knives, where once cowponies had faced each other with steady pistols
>cops are walking off with hookers down the very same streets where sherrifs once brawled with outlaws
>or at least, that's how you assume Picacholt used to be like
>you're naturally coloring your idea of Equestria's Wild West with impressions of Earthly western films
>you can only say for sure that Picacholt as it is now is kind of a shithole
>you've gotta get to the edge of town
>but it's a huge, sprawling city
>and from the edge of the city to the mountain range…
/"Yeah, it's gonna take forever."
>the image of Cosmos is walking alongside you
"I liked you better before I could see you in the Real World."
>these streets are much too crowded for anyone to notice you talking to yourself
/"Well when you get up into the mountain, I won't be able to do this anymore."
"That's a pretty strong incentive. I think I'll break into a run now."
/"Run? Run?! You're wearing a GP! Just teleport!"
"Oh shit, you're right."
/"Yeah. Let's get a move on now!"
>you blink, and Darkstar is gone
>all right, let's see how this shit works
>now if you just focus on the mountain
>relative to here, it's a few miles to the northeast
>so…
>it takes you a minute to realize that your surroundings have changed
>you're standing at the base of a dark mountain
>well, the entrance is probably some ways up
>let's aim for… that spot up there
>you're standing on a jutting rock near the top of the mountain
>if you had to guess, you'd say that there's probably an entrance up here somewhere
>and sure enough, the juttting rock is jutting out of a cave
>hopefully this cave actually leads to something
>down through the winding caverns you go
>there's a few landmarks in the tunnels of some note
>a sitting room
>a pile of bones
>a pit of lava
>all interesting stuff
>the bone-pile especially
>but none of this really seems to contain anything useful in it
>the sitting room, at least, seems to indicate that ponies once lived in this tunnel
>which makes it seem somewhat more likely to be the right tunnel in your mind
>but after hours of walking, you're starting to have doubts
>is this even the right mountain?
>and then you see it
>a metal wall with a thick, wooden door set in it
>you try the door in various ways for a few minutes
>naturally, it's locked
>it's also got some kind of protection against teleportation and lockpicking spells
>frustrated, you pull the GP off and regain your human form
>you try some good old fashioned brute force on the door
>but it's just too sturdy
>in your final discouragement, you lean back on the door and slide down to the floor
"Well fuck me, right?"
>a letter winks into existence and smacks you in the face
>"Just wait. She'll have to come out eventually. Good luck in there, once you're in I won't be able to communicate with you. - D.S."
>and so
>you wait

>eventually, you get tired of waiting
>so you slip your band on
>the Other World band, not the GP
>the little cloud is still present in your jacket
>whatever Silver Lining is doing, it's probably more entertaining than watching stalactites form
>besides, she doesn't have to know you're still creeping on her
>you touch the cloud
>the first thing you notice on the screen is the sentence "He's here."
>damnit, Darkstar
~"Oh, hey jackass. I was wondering if you'd show up."
>she's currently engaged in picking a lock
~"I thought about un-pairing my implant from your band, but…"
>the lock pops open
~"I like having an excuse to talk to myself on these little adventures."
>she pushes the door open slowly, so as not to make a squeak
>then she quickly darts her head in and out of the room
>not having seen anything, she sticks her head back in, at a more relaxed pace
>finally, she steps through the door
>after glancing at all the corners, she seems satisfied that she's alone
~"You're probably wondering what I'm doing."
~"Well, I'm about to kill my mother."
~"I don't know if you figured this out already, but that would be Ashy Pool."
>actually, hadn't figured that out
>you hadn't put a whole lot of thought into the topic of Liner's parentage
>but after that scene in the vent?
>it kind of makes sense
~"I bet you're wondering why. Well…"
>she scans the room once again
~"Fuck it. I might bite it on this mission. I might as well make sure someone I like knows my story, just in case."
~"Fuck me, I sound full of myself. No, that's not it."
~"I guess I just want to put it off for a bit. I mean, you know, killing my fucking mother."
>Liner finds herself a dark corner, lies down in it, and curls up
~"I mean, uh, is she really my mother? I have all her DNA, but it's not like she gave birth to me. Or even really raised me."
~"Oh, I guess that's weird. Let me explain."
~"So, once upon a time there was a mare named Ashy Pool, who pulled off a hostile takeover on Canterlot Applied Magics."
~"She got it into her head that she wanted CAM to be some kind of family empire. She wanted a kid to pass off the corporation to."
~"Just one problem: stallions found her fucking repulsive. Or, that's what I like to think. She'd always spout off some bullshit about romance being a waste of time."
~"Being wealthy and elite, Ashy Pool happened to be aware that Princess Twilight had gotten her hooves on a mundane science lab many years previously."
~"That lab is where I was born. Or grown. Or created. I don't know what the right word is."
~"Huh?"
>words are scrolling across her eye-display
>"Tell him where the lab is."
~"Why the fuck does that matter? Uh, obviously I haven't been there since I was a foal, and I don't remember being there, but uh…"
~"I think it was just outside of Picacholt. In some mountain."
>hang on
>what?
>Darkstar said "she" would come out eventually
>"she" is Princess Twilight?
>is she in there with Darkstar?
>how exactly is she involved in all this?
>if your theory about Darkstar is right, then she's been his friend for well over a hundred years
>at any rate, she's worked with Jinny in the past
>and apparently with Ashy Pool as well
~"-don't know why she agreed to do it."
>oh
>you spaced out of Liner's story there
~"Anyways, at some point, mother got the idea of testing out experimental AMs on me."
~"And when implants were invented, well… now you know why I've got so many."
~"She wasn't really involved in my life outside of experiments. I pretty much raised myself."
~"I liked playing in the clouds, Anon. I liked playing with the weather. I got my cutie mark as a weather pony."
~"Mother wasn't happy about that. I was supposed to be into business, like her."
~"You know what she did about it?"
~"She paid her engineers to invent AMs to control the weather. They hit the market when I was 16. Every weather pony in Equestria has been out of a job ever since."
~"That was when I ran away from home. With all my augmentations, I didn't have a hard time finding a new vocation."
~"And the other day, at the CAM warehouse? That was the first time I'd seen Ashy Pool since running away."
~"I guess it just flipped a switch in me. Now all I can think about is wiping that- oh."
>Darkstar is sending you a message through Silver Lining's eye display
>"Anon, get up. She's coming."
~"Well, I guess you're doing something exciting too. Bye Anon. I think after this I'll get some of my implants removed, I'll come get fried with you and Lentil."
>upon returning to the Real World, you stand up
>and face the door
>and the door swings open

>her pupils are the size of little pinpricks
>she steps up close to you
>looks up into your eyes
>her chin is almost parallel with your torso
>then she backs away again
>scans you from head to toe
>her breaths are lengthy, but shallow
>"Anon?"
"Uh, yes. Sort of."
>something about the rank of "princess" exhumes the tattered corpse of your military bearing from its lonely grave
"Good evening, ma'am. You must be Princess Twilight Sparkle. My name is Anonymous Poster."
>the princess's furrowing eyebrows invade the vast fields of white in her eyes
>"Anonymous… Poster…"
>her eyes close
>she sighs
>"No relation to an Anonymous Faggot, I suppose?"
"Would that be the same Anonymous as Anonymous the Man?"
>"Yes. They sometimes called him that, down in Picacholt. He was the only man in Equestria at the time."
"Then no. No relation, ma'am."
>her eyes open
>they don't meet yours
>"Of course. It was a… silly question. What brings you here, Mr. Poster?"
"Actually, I had a few questions for you. Some of them about Anonymous Faggot."
>finally, a small, formal smile graces the princess's face
>"I'm always happy to talk about my friends. That was my original title, you know, Princess of Friendship. Anon thought that was stupid though."
>her slender, purple hoof darts to her mouth
>"Whoops. I guess you're Anon too. Of course, I meant my Anon."
"R-right."
>"Why don't you come in? I'll get you some tea, and then we can talk."
"Sure."
>the princess leads you through a series of circular rooms, connected by more heavy, wooden doors
>the interior lighting here doesn't look like anything you've seen in Equestria before
>it's not candles, gas, lightning bugs, AMs, or any other kind of magic
>actually, it looks like old-fashioned lightbulbs
>with filaments and everything
>if this is the place Silver Lining was describing, then it's a "mundane science lab"
>mundane as opposed to arcane?
>finally, you're led into what seems to be a central hub, with multiple doors all around
>from there she leads you into a sparse dining area
>just a plain, old, wooden table and some plain, old, wooden chairs
>they look like they were bought from a Wild West general store
>they probably were
>already, a steaming kettle, two cups, two spoons, and a dish full of sugarcubes are floating into the room on the princess's shimmering miasma of magic
>"Have a seat. I'm sure you're tired after your climb."
>climb?
>oh, right
>this is a mountain
>and you're not supposed to be able to teleport
"Sure. Thank you."
>before you is set a cup, which is filled with hot, brown liquid
>"How many sugarcubes do you want?"
"Just one, please."
>one sugarcube makes ripples in your teacup
>then Princess Twilight sets about making her own cup of tea
>she takes two sugarcubes
>you can't bring yourself to touch your tea
>neither can she
>"Wow."

>the princess slides out of her seat
>walks right up to you
>gets uncomfortably close
>stares
>"You look just like him."
"Really?"
>"Well, I think so. Maybe not, I haven't exactly seen a lot of human faces."
"Do you, uh, know where he is right now?"
>she looks down and shuffles her hooves a bit
>"Well, gosh, it must be… forty years or so since he passed away. I hope he's in a better place."
"Passed away?"
>"Of course. I first met him some… hundred fifteen years ago."
>she sighs
>"Just about everyone I used to know is gone now. Celestia went and disappeared, Starlight passed away, my brother passed away, Discord disappeared when Fluttershy passed away… well, Fluttershy didn't exactly pass away, but…"
"Uh, what's that supposed to mean?"
>the immortal princess of Equestria gigglesnorts
>"Oh, it's just a little something I did for my five closest friends. I would have done it for everyone, but I could only find five pods, and I couldn't make sense of most of Phylum Strata's notes."
"Who's Phylum Strata?"
>"Oh, she was the previous owner of the mountain. She built the lab we're standing in now. She was a master of the mundane sciences; the things she could do without magic were almost more magical than magic itself. I'm an arcane scientist myself, so I've had a hard time recreating what she did. But that's not so important, she passed away in 1005."
"When… Anon came."
>"Mhm. Anon didn't like to talk about it. But while he was escaping, he found the Peg-Horn of Darkstar, and made all of this possible."
"What do you mean by 'all of this'?"
>"Applied magics. The Other World."
"What?"
>"I went public with all of this about a week ago. When Turing Test and I announced the existence of Darkstar."
>you grab your teacup and take a big gulp
>it burns
>but you needed a second to think
"The existence of Darkstar?"
>"Mhm. A magically-created mind that lives in the Other World."
"You didn't make this announcement in a big auditorium in the Other World, did you?"
>"Yes, actually. I did. Why do you ask?"
"Uh, I think I was there. But I left before the end."
>"Well, you should have stuck around."
"I was, uh, there for a specific purpose."
>to steal from Ashy Pool
"Could you explain Darkstar to me like you did at the conference? Is Darkstar… you know, Darkstar?"
>the princess giggles
>"If you're asking if Darkstar is Darkstar the Peg-Horned, the answer is no. But…"
>Princess Twilight's horn glows until something poofs into the room
>it's grey, thin, and conical
>roughly the same size and shape as a unicorn horn
>"… You could say that he is Darkstar's Peg-Horn."
>"In a manner of speaking, Darkstar was created about nine months ago by the joint work of myself, Professor Turing Test, and engineers from Canterlot Applied Magics. With generous donations from Linwood Jinny, of course."
>"In another manner of speaking, Darkstar was a latent personality who was always present in the Other World, even before we gave him a consciousness."
>"Anonymous, do you know what the difference between applied magics and artifacts is?"
"Well, one is an object that does something magical, and, uh, the other is… an object that does something magical."
>"Precisely. There is no difference. Artifacts are just ancient applied magics. Applied magics are just mass-produced artifacts. Specifically, they're mass-produced Peg-Horns."
"Wait, hang on. Most AMs are special-purpose. They can only do one thing."
>the princess shakes her head
>"No. This isn't something I admitted at the conference, but… all AMs are general-purpose. Or they would be, if certain magical restrictions weren't placed on them before commercial release."
>"Artifacts are incredibly difficult to produce. At least, original artifacts are incredibly difficult to produce. Duplicating them is quite a bit easier."
"So, when you invented AMs…"
>"Yes. I was making duplicates of the Peg-Horn. That's why the first applied magics were general-purpose horn bands."
>"At the time I didn't know it, but artifacts contain a remnant of their creator's personality. The Peg-Horn had a piece of Darkstar inside of it, and so did every AM that was based off of it. And thanks to the fact that all artifacts and AMs naturally interact with each other on the plane we know as the Other World…"
>the princess shudders
>"Darkstar has been everywhere for decades now."

"You sound like you don't like that."
>"Well, nine months ago, I thought that bringing Darkstar out of the ether would be a way to get a glimpse into the mind of an important sorcerer."
>"Somehow I seemed to forget that he was also a notorious outlaw."
>"I did find a way to potentially weaken him, over time. Though really, I'd been working on this project for nearly a hundred years."
>"Specifically, I finally managed to create a horn band on my own. As in, with my own magic, and my own personality."
>"I sent it out to CAM and requested that they base all of their future applied magics off of it, but..."
>"As far as I'm aware they never did."
>"Even worse, I've heard it's been stolen."
"Uh, would this band have been general-purpose? Maybe look something like a shimmery rainbow?"
>"Actually, yes. It would."
"I, uh, brought it with me."
>you procure the GP from your pocket
>Princess Twilight's eyes sparkle at the sight
>she snatches it up in her magic
>"Why, thank you! You have no idea how much effort you've saved me."
>she looks at the band absent-mindedly for a moment
>the notion that you were involved in stealing the band doesn't seem to occur to her
>"You want to see what I've been working on?"
"Sure."
>"Wait here. I'll be right back."
>Princess Twilight gets up
>thinks for a moment
>then teleports a stack of papers into the room
>she lays them out on the table
>"Here, since you were interested in Anon. You can look at these while I get things ready."
>and she's out of the room
>the "papers" on the table are in fact old photographs
>in all of them is a man
>the pictures were clearly taken over many years, as he and the others in the photos grow older the farther down the stack you look
>there are several ponies who feature prominently in many of the photos alongside the man
>a blue pegasus
>a yellow pegasus
>a white unicorn
>a pink earth pony
>an orange earth pony
>these five are usually pictured together, along with Princess Twilight
>there are some ponies who don't seem to appear with the above six very often, but are still within multiple photos
>there's a young, red earth pony mare with a jet-black mane
>she features with a brown earth pony mare a number of times
>a pair of creme colored mares with red manes show up in a scattering of the photos
>there's an old donkey in many of the photos
>this, you assume, is Dismule
>you reach a photo that makes you pause
>Anonymous Faggot can be seen with Dismule beside him
>and a very young donkey bouncing on his knee
>it's a baby picture of Linwood Jinny
>of course, there's the man himself
>Anonymous Faggot
>does he look something like you?
>maybe
>there's something odd about the guy
>particularly in the photos with Princess Twilight
>it's like he doesn't quite want to look at her
>"Anon."
>you set the photos down
"Yes?"
>"It's ready. Do you still want to see it?"

>the room you're led to has five colorful machines sitting in its center
>each one the color of the ancient mare lying suspended within
>"This... is what I did for my five closest friends!"
>the princess giggles
>"I always figured I could figure out some way to have them back eventually."
>"We found out the hard way that anti-aging spells only work for so long, and my own alicorn magic still isn't mature enough to actually turn other ponies into alicorns."
>"But, there was a prophecy that said I wouldn't outlive my friends, and, well.. you can't argue with fate, you know?"
"Uh... huh."
>she spends a few seconds laughing and snorting
>this pony seems completely unhinged
>she's almost nothing at all like the public figure you've come to recognize these past few months
>"I'm not sure what Phylum Strata was going to use these pods for, or why she didn't use one herself if she was so scared of getting old, but they were one of her easier inventions for me to understand."
>she's grinning and rapidly stomping her hooves now
>"I thought I was gonna have to wait for centuries before I could have my friends back, to grow powerful enough to make them all immortal alicorns."
>"But, when Darkstar was discovered, I realized that artifacts could carry personality within the Other World. And when I made my first horn band, the one that wasn't a duplicate, I realized that I could make my own artifacts!"
>"I set about doing the necessary magics with the pods, and it worked... sort of."
>"When we were all together, our friendship was the most powerful source of magic in the world."
>"And it seems like it still is, but... only in a... what's the word... collective? A collective sort of sense?"
>"I guess collective is the best way to put it. Instead of five separate personalities, there's one collective one."
>"She's very intelligent, and very powerful, but... she's incomplete."
>"She says I need to join with her in order to complete her."
>"And that's what scares me. I mean, I'd like to be with my friends again, and I'd like to complete my work, but..."
>"I guess I'm kind of scared to lose my individuality, you know?"
>you've honestly been failing to take most of this in
>but she's staring expectantly at you, as though you're supposed to have a reply
"Uh, yeah, totally. I hate it when that happens."
>"Mm. But I understand that Darkstar has been growing more powerful. I'm guessing you have something to do with that, since you seem to the one who stole my horn band from Ashy Pool."
"Oh, you figured that out, huh?"
>"Of course. Many of the thefts that have happened recently could have only been possible with a human working from the Other World. Taking advantage of your invisibility there."
>"I suppose you don't know what exactly it is you were stealing."
"Uh, scrolls, I guess? And a piece of the Crystal Heart. And a horn band."
>"Did you ever read what was on those scrolls?"
"No?"
>"Bits of information I took away from Darkstar when I realized his intentions were ill. Information about himself. I took four bits of information, put them into scrolls, and gave one to each of Darkstar's creators. One for me, one for Turing Test, one for Ashy Pool, and one for Linwood Jinny."
>"Ashy Pool's was stolen out of her coat. After that, I told the others to store their information deeper within their minds, but Turing Test's scroll was stolen from even there."
"Is that right?"
>"I know that it must have been you. The theft of Ashy Pool's scroll could have only been pulled off by you. But how did you get Turing's...?"
>she gasps
>"With instructions from Darkstar himself! He was already powerful enough to make out your outline in the Other World!"
"Yeah. Yeah, that's how it went, I admit it."
>"Then it's just mine and Jinny's scrolls left."
"Jinny probably already gave hers up. She was the one paying me to steal stuff for him."
>"Oh, dear... Yes, she always saw Darkstar's discovery as a way to live forever. And if his plan is completed, he might just be powerful enough to make that happen."
"His plan?"
>"Of course! You didn't think he was just doing things for no reason, did you?"
"I guess I didn't think about it."
>"If Darkstar completes himself, he'll be able to become the Other World itself. There are many artifacts which interact with the Other World and have nothing to do with him. They have other latent personalities dormant within them, such as Starswirl the Bearded's. Most of them carry out a vital role in the balance of Equestria."
>"But if Darkstar takes my scroll, he'll be able to replace every latent personality in every artifact with his own. All the applied magic in the world will be under his direct control."
>"He'll be able to unlock all the special purpose AMs made from the Peg-Horn as well, turning them essentially into millions of general purpose horn bands, and granting him unlimited power in the Real World as well as the Other."
"Oh, is that all?"
>"He'll be able to subvert the collective personality of my friends as well. If that happens, they'll all die for real. And given the prophecy, I probably will too."
"Well, uh, it's a good thing he's not gonna get that last scroll out of you, right?"
>the princess shakes her head
>"The only way to be sure of that is to destroy him."
>"And I could do that, but... I'm scared to."
"You have to join the collective personality you created?"
>"Yes. The friendship between me and my friends is the most powerful source of magic Equestria has ever known. If I were to complete it, all those things a completed Darkstar could do, I'd be able to do."
"Is that any better?"
>"I'm not an ancient outlaw."
"Yeah."
>"Anyway, since this is largely your fault, I have a favor to ask you."
>she holds out the GP in her hoof
>"Put this on, and go into the Other World with it. Talk to her for a little bit, and then tell me if you think I should go through with it."
"That's all you want? A second opinion?"
>the immortal princess of an alien world is smiling sheepishly at you
>"Yeah."

>is the Other World prettier when accessed through a GP?
>or is it just you?
>you don't have much time to appreciate the Other World proper
>you're pulled off into a room
>you didn't will it, but you can't honestly call it against your will
>the room shining white on all sides, like polished ivory
>the mare standing within is white as well, but so bright as to stand out clearly against the walls
>she's a massive princess pony, with both a horn and wings, standing at about twice your height
>her mane is the same shimmering rainbow as the GP band, and floats upon an unfelt wind
>she's smiling at you
>"Welcome, Anonymous."
"Uh, hey."
>"You had questions for me, I believe?"
"Yeah, yeah, I thought I did. Can't quite remember any of them right now."
>she chuckles softly
>"Allow me to choose one of the questions that's slipped your mind. Would you like to know how you came to Equestria?"
"How could you possibly know that?"
>"Based on the information available to me through the instruments in Darkstar's Mountain, the knowledge available to me from the learning of Twilight Sparkle, the vast sums of literature stored in the Other World, and impressions taken directly from your own mind, I can calculate to a 95% probability that your arrival here was not, strictly speaking, an accident."
"How can you do that?"
>"I am pure mind, and the source from which I draw my existence is the friendship which makes up the most powerful source of magic in the world. Therefore, I am the most powerful mind in the world. Would you like to know now?"
"Well, sure."
>"Your government was testing the effects of a planoforming engine accidentally activating. They placed one onboard your fighter, set it to activate at a fixed time, and never told you."
>you slap your forehead
"Well gee, why does that not surprise me?"
>"Because it is a conclusion based on your own impressions and beliefs regarding your government."
>you're sure you'll hate yourself for not asking more questions about this later
>but this is too weird
>you need to change the subject
"Look, I came here for a reason."
>"And I have given you one. Even now, I am dying."
"Hang on. What?"
>"You were sent by Twilight Sparkle to find a reason why should join with me, correct?"
"Sure."
>"She sent you here via a horn band derived from her own mind, correct?"
"That's how she described the GP, yeah."
>"If you had come to me through a horn band derived from the Peg-Horn, then Darkstar and I would have faced each other as two naked minds. Darkstar would have obtained the information from Twilight's scroll through me, and completed himself."
"All right, so it makes sense that she sent me through the GP."
>"But she forgot to ask you if you have any implants."
"Yeah, I have the drug… implant…"
>"Do you understand now? You have brought Darkstar to me through your implant, and in so doing you have doomed this world."
"But you brought me here! Knowing all of that shit, why would you do that?"
>"Twilight needed an incentive."
"But that's fucked up! She's scared for a good reason! She's scared to lose her individuality!"
>"She won't. Rather, I will lose my individuality. It must be hard for you to comprehend the sheer power of Twilight's love for her friends, but I assure you that when it is completed, it will be powerful enough to maintain six separate personalities. Twilight's friends will be restored to her."
>"In other words, I would cease to be a collective personality, and become a communal personality. A society in my own right  There would be no 'me' to speak of, only an 'us'."
"And how do you know she'll believe that? That's a hell of a claim to entrust the fate of a world to!"
>"Whether she believes it or not is irrelevant. I know Twilight Sparkle."
>she smiles
>"And I know that she won't be able to resist the chance to save the world with her friends, one last time."

>the band comes off
>the Real World comes flooding back
>Princess Twilight is sweating
>her breathing is labored
>"Anon. You don't have any implants, do you?"
"Yeah. An anti-drug one. Look, she told me about it. She knew I had it before she contacted me."
>"And Darkstar sent you here with it."
"Yeah."
>"Then Darkstar's and Falada's plans both came to this moment."
"Falada?"
>"That's what I call her. I took the name from one of your Earthly fairy tales."
"I'm not familiar with it."
>"Really?"
>the princess looks past you and smiles into the ether
>"Anon always liked to tell me Earth-stories about horses."
"I'm afraid all I can think of is Gulliver's Travels."
>"Oh, Anon told me about that one."
>decades of unshed tears threaten to spill over the levy of the princess's self-control
>"My goodness. To compare Equestrian ponies to the talking horses from that story… it's even worse now than it was then."
>she's blinking hard now
>"So much worse. You can't even make the comparison anymore."
>the flooding contained for now, her eyes lock with yours
>"Do you think it's my fault? I mean, Princess Celestia ruled over a near-utopia for well over a thousand years. Then I come along and in barely over a hundred everything is ruined."
"I don't know."
>"I wonder if Celestia is watching all this from somewhere. Waiting for me to make everything right. Maybe she's losing her patience. Maybe she'll come back and make everything all better."
>her eyebrows lock themselves up and outboard over her eyes
>"Or maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't care at all."
"Uh, listen, princess. I don't know about all that. But you're here now. And you can stop at least one major problem right now."
>"I can. But at what cost?"
>"Falada isn't the sum of my friends, Anon. Not exactly. Rather, she's the sum of my friendship. In other words, she's magic.And magic is as magic does."
>"If I complete her, she'll be all-powerful. Moreover, she'll have a Real World body to operate in. Namely, mine. I might lose my own personality. And for what? There's no guarantee that she has anyone's best interests in mind."
"Uh, she said something to the effect of you'd be able to keep your personality, and all of your friends would get theirs back as well."
>"I'm sure she did say that. And it could happen that way. The problem is, she would have to choose it for herself. She'd have to choose, essentially, to die. Because once my friends' personalities are restored, Falada's will cease to exist. There's just no guarantee that she'd do that."
>Twilight groans
>"What else did she say?"
"That you wouldn't be able to resist saving the world with your friends again."
>she stomps her hoof once
>the growls
>then sighs
>"She's probably right about that. Maybe I'm being silly. How could anything powered by friendship be a potential danger?"
>"Maybe I'm just being scared and selfish for no good reason."
>her foreleg gives out
>she collapses onto the floor
>"It's true… Darkstar is threatening all the magic in the world right now. It's also true that he'll kill Falada. And if Falada dies, so do all of my friends… and so do I."
>the princess rises back up to her hooves
>"Fine. I'll do it. But I want to put it off for a bit."
"Why?"
>"Because I'm scared!"
"All right."
>"Shush! Just let me think. This might be my last ever chance to think for myself."
>she doesn't seem to get very far in her thoughts before she sighs
>"I'm doing it again, aren't I?"
"Doing what?"
>"Not treating Anon right. I mean, here you are offering support to someone you just met less than an hour ago, for a cause that really has nothing to do with you."
"What do you mean it has nothing to do with me? Darkstar is threatening this world, and I live in this world now."
>she shakes her head
>"No. As a creature with no inherent magic whatsoever, you'll be completely unaffected by Darkstar's takeover of magic. And if he manages to take over Equestria in the Real World, you'll probably be treated well for helping him."
"All right, I didn't think about it like that. Still though, just look at yourself. You can barely stand up."
>"My goodness. You're really just like him."
>Twilight walks up very close to you
>"I think there's only one thing I need to do."
"What?"
>and she looks you in the eye
>"Anon. Did you ever forgive me?"
"Forgive you? For… what…?"
>her eyes are dark as midnight, and deep as the sky
"You're… not talking to me, are you?"
>Twilight rears up on her hindlegs
>and leans into your torso, still staring you in the eye
>"Anon. Did you ever forgive me?"
>she's obviously weak, and growing weaker every second
>her whole body is shuddering with the strain of standing upright
>her breath is growing shaky and erratic
>and her mind, fixated for so long on distant yesterdays, has finally confused past and present
>she's not seeing you
>not speaking to you
>not holding you
"Yeah. Yeah, of course I forgave you. I forgave you ages ago… Twilight."
>she gets down from you, and stands on all four shaky hooves
>"I'm ready."

>and that's the story of how you came to an alien world
>and how you almost destroyed it
>and how nobody noticed

Epilogue: Her Closest Friends

=On the Train back to Ponyville

>the interior of the train is dark, except for the desert morning sunlight streaming in through the windows
>the AM lights aren't working anymore
>according to the newspaper you grabbed from the Picacholt train station, no AMs anywhere are working
>you stick your hand in your pocket
>the GP you're fingering right now is probably the only working AM anywhere on this planet
>fortunately, the trains themselves still run on good old-fashioned, mundane coal

=In Ponyville

>the streets seem dark, even in midday
>no more brightly-colored AM logos to flash and dazzle potential customers inside the massive, commercial towers
>from an alleyway, a small herd of tough-looking stallions are glaring at you
>what the hell is their problem?
>wait a sec
>these guys look kind of familiar
>and then it hits you
>these are the CAM guards who broke into your apartment
>hard to recognize them without their armor on
>actually, this is the first time they've ever actually seen you, isn't it?
>one of them sees you looking at them
>he tries to pretend to be engrossed in the newspaper in his hoof
>but after a second or two, his glare turns into a scowl
>he throws the paper down and stalks off
>and all his buddies follow

=In the Newspaper

>"TEARFUL REUNION"
>"Amidst the destruction of the Canterlot Applied Magics Tower in Canterlot, CEO Ashy Pool was found alive, but not alone."
>"The sixty-four year old businessmare was found in the rubble, embracing and crying with her long-estranged daughter, Silver Lining."
>"This is the first public sighting of the twenty-one year old AMs heiress since she reportedly ran away from home five years ago."
>"Experts are unsure why the tower collapsed, but some theorize that it may be the cause of the worldwide failure in applied magics."
>"Princess Twilight has pledged to work with Canterlot Applied Magics and the Ponyville University for Applied Magics to bring AMs back to the market as soon as possible."

=In the Apartment Building

"I'm moving out."
>the clerk frowns up at you over her glasses
>"We'll be terribly sorry to see you go, Mr. Poster. You owe us three weeks' notice."
>you toss her a gold bit
"Will that cover it?"
>she picks up the bit and stares at it wide-eyed
>"Uh, y-you also owe us repayment for the damaged door in your apartment."
>you toss her two gold bits

==In Nightville

>the street has grown quiet
>all the light in the tunnel is coming from candles and lamps and makeshift torches
>the illicit AMs vendors have nothing to sell anymore
>the drug dealers are still there though
>your anti-drug implant, like most AMs, has ceased to function
>all the same, you don't really feel like getting high right now
/"Well if it isn't my good friend, Mr. Poster!"
>you turn around and are stunned to see the form of Cosmos bounding toward you
>you shriek and fall flat on your ass
/"Hey, what's the problem now, Mr. Poster. It's just your good friend Cosmos!"
"Oh, shit."
>you climb back up to your feet
"I thought you were… someone else. What do you want, Cosmos?"
/"I want you to come to my shop! I've got the deal of the century, Mr. Poster, and I want you to be the first to know."
"Cosmos, we both know that your AMs don't work anymore."
/"Not true, not true! Princess Twilight came to me in a dream, told me that all of my AMs would work again. And when I woke up, they did! What do you think about that, eh?"
"I think…"
>your hand slips into your pocket, and wraps the GP around itself
"This."
>at the snap of your fingers, a small bolt of lightning zaps Cosmos' ass
/"Yee-yikes! I see you've found yourself a new supplier!"

=In the Hole

>you have to leave the board-door open to let the light in
>all the same, you almost step on Lentil
>she's sprawled out on the floor among open bottles of pills
>twitching and murmuring and drooling
>you step over her and make your way to your bag of bits
>with the bag slung over your shoulder, you prepare to leave the hole
>but you make out something that Lentil is murmuring
<"A… non…"
>you toss her a gold bit
>that'll cover her three weeks' notice
>or a pound of rainbow
>her choice

=In the Desert

>it's been about a week since you stood by and watched someone else save the world
>you finally went and got yourself that little house in the country
>an old, crumbling cottage on the near side of Darkstar's Mountain
>you have no neighbors
>except the metal monsters said to prowl about the ghost town of Marenberg
>which is about a twenty minute walk from your dream-home
>apparently living off the fat of the land is a lot harder than you thought
>so you're cheating with the GP to get food
>at least until the apple trees you had carted out here start bearing fruit
>you've thought about using the GP to get home
>but you've done your homework on teleportation
>apparently it only works if you have an idea of where point B is relative to point A
>plus, the longest recorded teleportation was only a few miles
>besides, you've still got a few years left on your spacefleet commission
>if you came back now, they'd definitely make you serve it
>and fuck that

=In the Other World

>the Other World is just starting to become populated with po⁣nies again
>not a lot
>even areas that had been busy highways are still only speckled with minds
>without contracts to steal shit, there's nothing for you to do here anymore
>you're about to band out when something catches your eye
>a pony is staring straight at you
>and waving
>and calling your name
>she's a purple princess po⁣ny
>and standing close behind her are her five closest friends in the whole world