==1000== <"Anoooooooooon! Come down here, I need your help!" >your eyes crack open >you can see that the attic you call home is awash with the white light that's flooding in through your window <"Anoooooooooooooooooooon! I need you now!" >damnit >you stretch >you swing your legs out of bed >the clothes you were wearing last night are strewn on the floor >you throw them on >on the window, you can see Trottingham covered in a layer of snow about an inch or two thick >ponies wearing top hats and scarves trot about with a spring in their step and cheerily chat <"Anoooooooooooooooooooooooooon!" "I'm coming, I'm coming!" >you find Ruby in the kitchen "What's the deal? You said you weren't gonna make me work on New Year's Eve." <"Oh, this isn't work, sweetie. This is a favor." "What's the difference?" <"I don't pay you for favors." "Damnit, Ruby." <"Oh, you love me." "I don't. What do you want?" <"Could you reach up on that shelf and grab me that jar of sugar?" "Don't you have magic that can reach up there?" <"Yes, but I can't see up there. What if I grab the wrong jar?" >you sigh and get her the jar <"Oh, thank you so much!" >Ruby takes the jar over to a pot of what appears to be berries in boiling water and pours in a measured amount "What's that?" <"Oh, it's just a little something for dinner tonight." "Oh? Who all's coming to that?" <"I'm just planning on my sister this year." "Not your mother?" <"No, no. I'm afraid she's gotten a bit too old to be staying up til midnight. Red and I will visit her tomorrow." >Ruby smells her concoction and groans in nosmic ecstasy <"Anon, sweetie, would you be a dear and tidy up the jewelry shop for me? Red should be here in about an hour." "As a favor?" >Ruby giggles <"Yes, please." "All right." <"Thank you! I'll make us some breakfast while you're doing that." ==1100== >Ruby's breakfast turned into a brunch >on the table in the kitchen is a bountiful feast consisting of pancakes, eggs, potatoes, and fruits >there are some grasses and flowers too >unfortunately, you're not at the table >you're in the shop area >staring at the door with Ruby >the smell of brunch torturing your appetite "Looks like your sister is running a little bit late." <"Oh, well, you know Red. She's always late to things like this." "Yeah." <"The seas near Trottingham are a little bit rough around this time of year. She's probably just waiting for a safe time to moor." "She pulls in at the Trottingham harbor?" <"Yes. Why wouldn't she?" "Because she's a pirate?" <"Oh, sweetie. Half the ponies in this town have pirates in their families. If the coast guard didn't turn a blind eye around Hearthswarming and New Year's, it would simply ruin the holidays." "That's awfully polite. And don't call me sweetie." <"Sweetie." >outside, it starts to snow >a fried potato with your name on it sends a telegram to your nose >Ruby sighs "So...?" <"All right, Anon, we'll start eating without Red." ==1200== >no sooner are the last leftovers in the icebox than there's a knock on the door <"Ah! Finally!" >Ruby cheerily trots over to the door and opens it _"Hi, Ruby." <"Oh. Sketchy. How do you do?" _"I do well." >the wind picks up, blowing frozen confetti into Ruby's face >Sketchy smiles <"Would you like to come in?" _"Yes please." >the wierd little bald mare enters the jewelry shop and closes the door behind her >she notices you and jumps a little before flashing you an awkward smile "'Sup, Sketchers? What brings you here?" _"I-I was just in the area for my job. And I wanted to ask if I could come in and warm my hooves up for a little bit before heading out." >job? "What exactly is it you do for a job again?" _"Well, I, um, uh... I, uh... travel." >there's a giant battle axe conspicuously strapped to her back "Well, right. What do you do for money?" >there are some sort of mysterious dark stains on the blade _"Odd jobs?" <"Sketchy, sweetie, do you have some place to stay tonight?" _"Well... no." <"Why don't you spend the night here, with us? If I had known you'd be in town I would have invited you to anyway." _"Oh, could I?" <"Certainly! You can share Anon's bed with him." >Sketchy gasps _"I-I'd... like that." <"Good. Now, we've got a little brunch in the icebox. It's probably still hot. Please, help yourself to some." _"Oh, thank you, Ruby!" >Sketchy heads off toward the kitchen >Ruby winks at you >you [wut] internally ==1300== _"Checkmate!" "No, Sketchy. That's my pawn." _"Well I checkmated it." >you move the pawn diagonally one space and capture Sketchy's bishop >she pouts _"This game is stupid." >there's a knock on the door <"Anon, can you get that?" >Ruby's working in the kitchen again >you get up >and open the door >and almost fall flat on your ass >standing in the doorway is a powder-blue mare with a silvery mane >for a second you thought it was somebody you used to know >but a second glance reveals that you've never seen this pony before in your life >thank fuck >"Why, hello there. I'm looking for a Miss Ruby, does she still live here?" <"Anon, what was that girlish squeal? Who's there?" >"Oh, she is still here!" >the stranger squirms past you, and Ruby meets her in the entrance to the kitchen <"Locket! What are you doing back here?" >"Oh, well, I'm home for the holidays and I figured I'd pay my favorite ex-boss a visit." <"Well, I'm certainly glad to see you." <"Oh, ah, Anon, Sketchy, this is Silver Locket. She was my assistant before I hired you, Anon." <"And Locket, this is Anon, the, erm... creature I hired after you left. And Sketchy, my, uh, friend." >creature, huh? >this bitch is about to get a civil rights case up her ass <"Now, do you want some cocoa or something, Locket?" >"No, no, this is only a quick visit. I've got a catch a train back to Canterlot before this snow blocks up all the tracks." <"Oh. You-you've got a store in Canterlot now?" >"Oh, yes. It's only just opened." <"Well, that's lovely. What would that be, your third location?" >"My tenth." <"Well... that's... wondeful." >"I certainly think so. Not that there's anything wrong with the whole 'local business' thing, but I always knew I was destined for bigger and better things." <"Apparently... you... are." "Didn't you try to open a store in Canter-" <"No." "But then it f-" <"No. That never happened." >"You opened a second loc-" <"Certainly not. I love my little local business." >"Oh, I know you do. But I'm sure you could make it on the nationwide market if you tried. After all, you taught me everything I know!" <"And I'm so... very... very proud of you." >Locket glances out the window >"Well, I really do have to be going. It was lovely chatting with you, Ruby. Give Red my best when you see her. Ta-ta!" >Silver Locket blows a kiss at her ex-boss and disappears into the thickening snow _"I like her!" >Ruby falls to her knees and opens her mouth really wide >is she screaming... silently? ==1400== >at last, Ruby finally comes out of the kitchen <"All right. I've got a nice big hay casserole slow-cooking in the oven for us. And a little one without hay, for the assistant who claims he can't digest grasses." "What do you want from me? I've only got one stomach." <"Right. Now what exactly are you two doing?" _"Slaps." <"Slaps?" _"Mm hm. It's this game Anon just taught me. We hold our hooves out like this, mine above his, and then he tr-" >you whip your hands up and smack Sketchy's hooves into the fucking floor _"Ow!" <"And what, he just hits you? How is that a game?" _"Well, I'm supposed to dodge it." <"I see. Do you ever change roles?" "Holy crackers, no. My soft, fleshy hands getting pulverized by rock hard hooves? I might never be able to set a diamond for you ever again!" <"Riiiight. Well, I'll leave you two to it then." >Ruby goes over to the window and stares out >the snow's really coming down now >she sighs "Worried about Red?" <"A little." "Aw, she's a big girl. I'm sure she's all right." <"I suppose." >while you're distracted, Sketchy zips her hooves under your hands and smacks them into your face >the noise you make is a little bit less than dignified _"I win!" ==1500== >there's a knock on the door >Ruby springs to her hooves and opens the door <"Finally! There you- oh." /"Mein freund, you sound unhappy to see me." <"Oh, I'm not, I'm not. I've just been expecting my sister all day. Please do come in." /"I shall. Thank you." >Aryanne stomps her hooves on the welcome mat before crossing the threshold >and then she sees you >currently, your body is wrapped around Sketchy's >no, not like that you fucking perv >she's got you in a chokehold, and all contorted with your face near the ground /"Vhat are you two doing?" "Wrestling! You want in? Sketchy's an animal!" /"I do so enjoy martial sports... but first, I must ask our gracious hostess for one small favor." <"Favor?" /"Yes, if you would be so kind." <"This isn't anything like the time you had me leave that suitcase outside the griffin community center, is it?" /"No, nonononononononono! No trouble, I am promise." <"Ah... all right then. What do you need?" /"I vas travelling to my native Germaneia to spend the New Year vith family. Alas, my train vas stalled here in Trottingham, most likely for the night. I have come to beg sojourn in your home." <"What?" /"Can I spend the night here?" "I didn't know you had a family, nazi horse." >somehow she heard you, despite the fact that you were muffled by Sketchy's leg in your mouth /"There is much you do not know about me, Anonymous. I have two sisters, and one little niece. And I love them very dearly." >Sketchy stops biting your arm long enough to make a comment _"That sounds adorable." >Aryanne looks pleadingly at Ruby <"Well of course you can stay. If Red gets here tonight, we'll have the whole merry band together!" /"I hope she comes soon. They vill probably close the port before long in this veather." "Like the law's ever stopped Red before." >Sketchy skillfully twists your arm _"I already have dibs on Anon's bed!" >Aryanne shrugs at Ruby >and then throws herself upon you and Sketchy ==1600== >you and Sketchy are panting heavily >again, not like that you fucking perv >Aryanne rears up to her hind legs and poses like a mighty goddess /"I am a prime specimen of Equaryan fitness and martial prowess. Do not feel bad, the two of you could not have hoped to defeat me." "I mostly just feel bad out of physical pain right now, to be perfectly honest." _"W-we can give each other massages tonight." "Might take you up on that, Sketchers." _"Eep!" <"Are you quite done fighting in my shop?" "Yeah." <"Excellent. Anonymous, could you do me a favor and grab some firewood from the cellar? It's starting to get dark." "Aye aye, cap'n." >you groan dramatically as you pull yourself to your feet and stumble away >and out you go into the freezing cold blizzard >who the hell still has cellar doors outside of their homes? >Ruby Ring, that's who >fuckin rustic bitch "Hey what are you looking at?" >a pony has stopped outside of Ruby's lawn and is staring at you >he screams eerily at you >and then trudges off into the night "Yeah, you better run!" >now >where's that cellar door? >there it is >you open it and hop down out of the wind >you grab as much firewood as you can carry >and you rush back into the house >it's official >this weather is completely nasty ==1700== >the fire is warming your back very nicely >Sketchy has curled up into a little spoon position in front of you and seems to be asleep >there's absolutely no light coming in through the window >and Ruby decided it wasn't worth it to light any candles or lamps >Aryanne has chosen to take advantage of the atmosphere by telling a traditional Germaneian ghost story /"...And vhen she voke up... she vas a zebra! The end..." "But who was phone?" /"Vhat?" >Sketchy snores loudly >you scratch the weird papery skin behind her ear >she nudges in closer to you <"Never mind him, sweetie. That was a... uh, lovely story." /"It vasn't supposed to be lovely though?" <"I mean, uh, it was awful." /"You didn't like it?" <"Erm..." "She's trying to say it was pretty spooky." /"Yes, the spooks, quite. Mein little niece Luftkrieg always tells me that one gives her the spooks." >Ruby buries her head into her hooves and sighs <"Red probably isn't coming tonight." "Probably not." /"Ah, I know your struggle. Mein own sisters are probably fretting over me in that same way." "My family is in another reality, and I haven't been able to visit them in over eight years." <"All right this isn't a competition." "No. It isn't. But Red will be here as soon as the storm clears up. So cheer up." ==1800== >Sketchy stretches and yawns _"Did I miss the New Year?" "No, I would've woken you up. We've still got a while til New Year's." _"Did Red show up yet?" <"No..." _"Oh." "I don't think she's coming til tomorrow." _"Oh... That's too bad." >Sketchy thinks for a moment _"Hey Aryanne?" /"Ja?" _"Do you think you can stick around til Red shows up tomorrow?" _"Sketchy, I have mein family to see." _"Oh, yeah. It's just been so long since we all hung out together." /"Mmmnh, it has been long..." >Aryanne scratches her chin /"I maybe can vait for noontime train." _"Yay!" >Sketchy gets up, trots over to Aryanne, and gives her a big hug >Ruby pulls her face out of her hooves >her eyes look a little bit red >but she's smiling now <"That sounds like a wonderful plan." >there's a knock on the door "Well that might be Red now." <"Maybe." >Ruby opens the door >a pony wrapped in cold weather gear pitches forward and collapses <"Red?" >"I can't... I can't... I can't run anymore." <"Who are you? Are you okay?" >the stranger doesn't respond <"Anon, this mare is positively frozen! Help me get these clothes off of her, then carry her to the fireplace!" ==1900== >the stranger is a lavender mare >her mane is a dark midnight blue with one purple stripe and one pink stripe >she is an earth pony >and she's beginning to wake up >Ruby, who's been standing by with a cup of hot cocoa, rushes over <"Here, sweetie, try to drink some of this." >the stranger stares at the cup for a second >then frowns >then sits up and awkwardly grasps the cup with her hooves >"That's good. Thank you." <"What happened to you? Did you get caught in the storm?" >"I've been running from the storm all day, ever since it started in the Everfree Forest." <"The Everfree Forest?" "The one near Ponyville?" >"Yeah. Where am I now?" <"Trottingham." /"A very impressive journey." _"Aren't you Twilight Sparkle?" "No, Twilight Sparkle is a unicorn." <"And she's a princess now, with wings and everything." "Ugh." >"I was Twilight Sparkle." <"Was?" >"Yeah. I guess I'm just Earth Pony Twilight now. And I won't even be that for much longer." <"Why don't you tell us what happened?" >"The world is coming to an end." "That's awful dramatic." <"I'm sure she doesn't mean that literally. Why don't you tell us what happened to you, from the beginning?" >"I was there when it started. I thought I'd pay a visit to the Tree of Harmony-" "The what?" >"It's a... tree. If you know what the Elements of Harmony are, that's where we've been storing them." _"Those gemstone thingies that saved the world a couple times, right?" >"Right. I was there when the Elements were stolen." <"Stolen? By whom?" >"She looked... well, actually, she looked a lot like you, Miss..." <"Ruby." >"Ruby. I tried to stop her, but she threw a substance at me which I believe as a magical powder from Zebrica, and it turned me into an earth pony." >"Almost immediately, some sort of ancient evil from the forest was unleashed. A horrible blizzard consumed the forest and spread into Ponyville. I found my friends and we chased after the thief, but..." "Did something happen to them?" >"Yes. As the storm caught up with us, my friends began to freeze, and when they froze, they turned... strange?" "Sort of ambling, shuffling, trudging strange?" >"Yes. Yes, that's exactly it." "Sort of like zombies?" >"Yeah, like zombies. How did you know?" "Well, I'm not all that good at celebrity trivia, but I think those are your friends out there about to break through the window." >glass clatters onto the floor <"Everybody into the attic!" ==2000== "You ever get the feeling that your life is a bad fanfiction?" <"Only every single day." >for once, you're glad Ruby's house-shop is such an old fashioned building >the trapdoor entrance with its retractable ladder is all but impervious to zombies >but just to be on the safe side, you've piled all of your stuff on top of the door <"So, to be clear, Miss Twilight, you're convinced that there's absolutely no way to save Equestria from this?" >"Well, if I could get my hooves on the Elements of Harmony, I might be able to cure my friends with them and then use them to defeat the ancient evil." _"Well that's not so bad." >"I don't know who it was that took the Elements or where she is. And without my magic I can't locate her." >Earth Pony Twilight scratches at her chin >"Unless... Are you a powerful spellcaster, Miss Ruby?" >Ruby's face scrunches <"N-n-no..." >"Right. So it's more or less hopeless." /"Vell, maybe yes maybe no. Let us be rational, like equines. Vhat do ve know about the thief? I think ve may identify her." <"Uh, she looks a lot like me." "She stole priceless magical artifacts?" /"And she has had dealing vith zebras!" <"Red!" ==2100== >"Okay, so to be perfectly clear, your sister is a bloodthirsty pirate?" <"I wouldn't say... bloodthirsty, exactly." _"Yeah, Red likes orange juice, not blood!" >"And you think that she may be the one who stole the Elements of Harmony and unleashed this world-ending ancient evil upon us all?" /"And backed up the trains." <"I'm sure she didn't... mean anything by it." >"And she may be coming here with the Elements?" <"Possibly." >"Well, I guess there's a chance that this could turn out all right." _"Really?" >"Maybe." >there's an uncomfortable silence in the air <"Um, what about... I mean... You're not going to do anything to my sister, are you?" >Earth Pony Twilight sighs >"That's a pretty serious question. I don't think it'll even be in my hooves." <"Oh..." >there's a pounding on the trapdoor "Oh fuck it's happening!" >the pounding stops >silence >hoofbeats on the roof >the sound seems to stop directly above the attic window >Sketchy nuzzles into your chest >this is the end >a head pops down in front of the window, its seeing eyes gleaming in the dim light of the single candle in the attic >it's over >it's time to die >it's... <"Red?" >it's Red >Ruby groans and opens the window with her magic >Red lithely swings her body inside ~"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, you won't believe the crazy day I've had today." "I might." ~"I didn't know Aryanne and Sketchy were gonna be here! And is that... uh..." <"Red... did you steal about six gemstones from some sort of tree near Ponyville today?" ~"I mean, you can't really steal from a tree, you know?" <"Red!" ~"Geez! Chill out! I missed Hearthswarming and I figured I'd get something special for you and Mom, what's the big deal?" <"The big deal is... uh... I think Miss Twilight Sparkle here explained it pretty well." ~"Oh, so that is... wow, I could have sworn we met somewhere before." >"We met this morning." ~"Right." >"When you turned me into an earth pony." ~"Memory's a little hazy on that." >"And you unleashed an ancient evil that's threatening to doom Equestria." ~"What?" <"She's talking about the blizzard." "And the zombies." ~"Uh, no, all I did was take these jewels." >Red dumps her bag on the ground, and sure enough, six gaudy gemstones tumble out >Earth Pony Twilight sighs >"Just help me clear all the stuff off the door so I can fix this." ==2200== >there were some noises and flashy lights >but tl;dr it stopped snowing and all the zombies turned back to normal >Twilight even got her horn back >wings too, unfortunately >she's glaring at Red >"Okay, so here's what I'm thinking." >"What you did was totally and completely wrong!" >"But..." >"Going so far out of your way, putting yourself in that much danger, and walking all those miles, just to deliver a gift..." >"I think that could have only been done for the right reasons." >"Furthermore, I am, as far as I know, the only government employee who knows that this whole mess was your fault, and I really don't feel like doing paperwork over the holidays." >"So... if you can promise to NEVER EVER do anything like this ever again..." >"I can just go back to Ponyville and forget that I ever saw you, and you won't go to the Moon." ~"Sounds good." >"Do you promise?" ~"Cross my heart and hope to die." >"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to see if I can salvage the Ponyville New Year's Eve party." >with that, Twilight Sparkle leave's Ruby's jewelry shop, most likely never to return ~"Dude, what a bitch." <"Red!" ~"What?" <"You almost ended the world!" ~"Psshhh, that's just Tuesday for me." _"But it's Monday." ~"The important thing is that nobody died and the gang's all here. Also, I've been running all day, what's for dinner?" >Ruby gasps <"My casserole! It's been sitting in the oven for eight hours!" ==2300== >thank fuck, the casserole was mostly edible <"Well that's the nice thing about slow-cooking. It's a merciful process." >for a vegetarian meal, it's all right >your enjoyment is probably enhanced by the somewhat stressful night you've just had >you're sitting cross-legged by the fireplace >and Sketchy is, once again, curled up and asleep in your lap >you scratch her head "Heh, sleepy pone." <"You know if we don't wake her up soon she'll miss the New Year." >Aryanne unleashes a mighty yawn /"If ve don't do something to stay up, ve shall all miss the new year." ~"Yeah, that was a lot of food." >Red rubs her eyes ~"Hang on, I've got an idea. Everyone grab your coats and meet me in the attic." >as it turns out, Red wants to show you all how to climb onto the roof from the window >you go up last after helping to lift Ruby and Sketchy up to Red and Aryanne >Red holds her hoof out to you "Bitch please, my ancestors lived in the trees." >you grab the gutter >the gutter is covered in ice >you land on your ass in the snow some twenty feet below >the second time around you take Red's hoof >the five of you lie down on the snowy roof and look up at the sky ~"There. We won't fall asleep up here." "Speak for yourself. Sketchball here is out like a light again." _"No... I'm not... asleep yet. Don't let me fall asleep Anon." >she says as she snuggles into your side >Red sighs ~"Damnit. Now I don't have a present for you and Mom, Ruby." <"Oh, don't worry about that." ~"Are you sure?" <"Quite. You weren't here for Hearthswarming, so I didn't get you anything either." ~"Wow." "Maybe the greatest gift of all is the lesson we learned today." ~"Oh yeah? And what's that?" "I have no fucking idea." ==0000== "Hey, Sketchers, you awake?" _"Mm hm." "Well be more awake, it's about to happen... now!" >in the center of Trottingham is a massive clocktower >every hour it tolls out the appropriate amount of bells, like a right proper clock tower should >once you get used to it, the bells go almost unnoticed >but not this time >now that the storm has stopped, it's actually a pretty bright night >and you've been watching the clock >waiting for the timing to be perfect >and now it starts >Sketchy sits upright at the first toll >so do you >you can see everyone else sitting up too >the second bell rings >a lonely whoop emanates from somewhere in the city >the third bell rings >a single firework goes up nearby >it almost seems like it's rushing >the fourth bell rings >the shouting and fireworks are coming in a small but steady trickle now >the fifth bell rings >Ruby is gazing out toward Canterlot Mountain >for a mare in the fashion industry, you know that Canterlot represents all kinds of ambitions and dreams >in the far distance, you can see the high city illumined with colorful magical lights >you're sure that someday she'll see that light show up close >the sixth bell rings >Red is staring dead straight at the clock tower >and she's doing something you never thought possible for her >sitting perfectly still >the seventh bell rings >Aryanne is looking out through the wooded north >from here, it's possible to make out the Black Forest >not nearly as dangerous as the Everfree you've heard, despite the ominous name >you know that just beyond the Black Forest >there lies Germaneia >the eighth bell rings >Sketchy is staring down at her hooves >and pressing her head into your arm >how in the world did this happen? >the ninth bell rings >you don't really have a direction to look toward >the tenth bell rings >your home might be on the other side of the universe >or another universe altogether, for all you know >no real ambitions here, either >Equestria is a good place to just live >the eleventh bell rings >well >there might be something you can look at >the final bell tolls >all the ponies on this roof top >they're your friends >and you look at them >and they look at you >and they look at each other >Red coughs ~"All right this is getting pretty gay. New Year's here, I'm going to bed." "The hell you are!" ~"Huh?!" >you bound toward the pirate pony and scoop her up in a big hug >Aryanne pounces on the two of you from behind <"D-don't jump so much, you'll damage the r-" >Sketchy shoves Ruby into the group hug, and then joins in herself >it's so warm and cuddly ~"Yeah, okay, now this is super gay." "Yeah, kind of. Let's go to bed." >the ponies all clamber back inside through the attic window with your help >you do one more group hug before they all exit the attic to the various places they've chosen to sleep >you pull up the attic door and look out window again >you can see Trottingham covered in a layer of snow about a foot or two thick >ponies wearing top hats and scarves trot about with a spring in their step and cheerily chat >and then you look at your bed "Heh." >Sketchy is lying down on it >already fast asleep >carefully >oh, so carefully >you slide under the blankets >and you cuddle up to Sketchy >and you fall asleep with the weird little bald mare breathing slowly in your arms