Thread Archive :
https://yuki.la/mlp/26485376#p26515720
*Original Author is Anonymous*
-------------------------------
>”…but you're ugly and weird, Anon. If you couldn't get a girlfriend in the human world, then what made you think that you could get with me in Equestria? Stop trying to get with girls who are WAY out of your league."
>You’re starting to regret joking about how much of a loser you used to be in your old world.
>Probably because, as Twilight pointed out, not much has changed since you came to Equestria.
>Hearts and Hooves was coming up.
>You wanted to try socializing for a change, try to get a date. Something you never tried before.
>Everyone you asked rejected you, and you finally come to Twilight hoping she’ll grant you a pity date if nothing else. She’d always been nice, and it’s not like she’s tripping over suitors herself, after all.
>Not only did this result in sound rejection, but also in a rant about all the reasons /why/ she was rejecting you.
>Now she’s panting, finally over with her tirade.
>Then her eyes slowly widen, as if she’s just now realizing what she’s been saying.
>”Wait- Anon, I didn’t mean to-“
>You hold up a hand.
“It’s fine, Twilight.”
>You shake your head.
“If there’s one thing I have in abundance, it’s self-awareness. Sorry to bother you, I guess I was so caught up in this ‘whole new world’ thing that I forgot some things never change.”
>You stand up, and start walking towards the tree castle’s exit.
>”Anon I’m-I’m really sorry!”
“I’ll be fine, Twilight. I’m used to this sort of thing.”
>You’re out the door.
>…

>It’s a good thing you never told them /how/ you got to Equestria, otherwise she might have been suspicious and tried to ‘help’ you.
>Now… decisions, decisions.
>Do you kill yourself in a way to garner maximum guilt once you’re dead?
>Or do you kill yourself in a spectacular way to at least raise some eyebrows once they find your corpse?
>The last time you killed yourself, you just drank bleach.
>Unpleasant. 0/10 would not suicide again.
>This time’s gonna be a little faster if you can help it.
>You don’t know how to tie a noose…
>No guns to blow your brains out with….
>Plenty of sharp objects you guess, but the idea of bleeding out nauseates you. You don’t like that lightheadedness of blood loss.
>You could… you could…
>You gaze slowly travels up to the great mountain in the distance and the shining city perched upon it.
>…Well you always wanted to go to Canterlot.
>Falling sounds fun while it lasts, and from that distance you don’t think you’d even feel the impact.
>You hope the Princesses (the ones you haven’t met yet, IE the ones that actually do something) don’t mind you using their city as a jumping point.

>Yesterday you spent all your money on a one-way ticket to Canterlot.
>After you arrived, you stole a wine bottle from some fancy place and evaded the guards that came after you.
>Who cares if you’re wanted, you’re going to be dead soon anyway.
>After you lost your pursuers, you drank that wine in a secluded alley until you passed out.
>Now you’re waking up with a killer hangover.
>Guess what day it is.
>It’s Hearts and Hooves day.
>You’ve got a date to die for to get to, so you better get up.
>You groan as you unsteadily get to your feet, the pieces of sticky garbage you used as a blanket last night falling off of you.
>You shuffle your ways around the more secluded alleys of Canterlot, not wanting to be spotted.
>You have a very distinct appearance, unfortunately for you.
>It takes a good while, but eventually you get to it.
>The edge.
>The few ponies loitering around enjoying the view wrinkle their nose once you get close, clearly perturbed by the pungent smell of alley garbage coming off of you.
>You pay them no mind as you practically shamble forward, up to the waist-high wall between you and the rest of Equestria.
>You place your hands on the wall, and simply look.

>Equestria is a beautiful place. In your old world, you never even left your home city. You never got to see things like what stood before you.
>The rolling green hills, the misty mountains in the distance, the great fluffy clouds, the clear blue sky…
>You glance around you to find all the ponies that surrounded you before had left, leaving you as alone as you’ve always been.
>You shrug and climb up onto the little barrier between you and your fall.
>You swing your legs over, sitting on the little wall as you let your legs dangle over the edge.
>You could end it right now.
>…
>But it’s not like you’re being timed. The day is still young.
>You can enjoy the view for a little while longer. It’s the last thing you’re ever going to see, so you might as well savor it.

>You’re lying on your side, face pressed into the stone bricks of your seat.
>It’s sundown, and you still haven’t killed yourself.
>You’re thirsty and hungry.
>The side of your face probably has the stone texture imbedded on it.
>Your legs are numb.
>But you still aren’t dead.
>Is this indecision?
>You still want to kill yourself. It’s not like it scares you, you’ve done it before.
>You just… don’t want to do it yet.
>What good would it do anyway?
>Will it actually kill you for good?
>Or will it just send you off to some other place where you’ll be alone forever?
>You hear trotting behind you.
>But not just any trotting.
>Trotting with the particular metallic clang of stone hitting metal.
>Armored hooves are coming your way.
>You wanted to kill yourself, not get arrested.
>Seems that it’s now or never, Anon.

>With only a moment’s hesitation, you sit up and push yourself off.
>Behind you, you hear a feminine gasp of horror.
>Weird, you thought all the guards were guys.
>As the wind rushes in your ears, you close your eyes and let a kind of peace wash over you.
>You barely even notice the wind.
>…
>No, actually, there’s no wind to notice anymore.
>What the..?
>You open your eyes, and find that there’s still no ground beneath you.
>The grasslands and the bottom of Canterlot Mountain are below you.
>Yet, you aren’t falling. Just floating.
>Why is everything tinted yellow?
>You start to slowly float upwards.
>Ah, now you understand.
>You’d been caught.
>Good going, Anon. You had an opportunity, and you let it pass right on by. Just like every other opportunity in your life.
>Whatever, you just stole a wine bottle and resisted arrest. They’ll probably just sentence you to fifteen minutes in the cuddle dungeon and let you off with a warning. Then you can kill yourself.
>Actually, you don’t know how their justice system really works.
>Maybe they’ll execute you? Seems unlikely, but you can dream.
>After what seems like an age, you finally get back to where you fell from.
>The magic floats you over the little wall, and back onto solid ground.

>Then, you hear a male gasp.
>”It’s the ape thief! You are under-“
>”Silence.” You hear another, female voice.
>There is a moment of tense silence, just as the voice ordered.
>”…Princess, this creature-“
>”Leave us.”
>”But-!”
>”Leave. Us.”
>… No, it couldn’t be.
>As you hear the armored hooves trotting off to parts unknown, you finally work up the nerve to look over your shoulder at your ‘savior’.
>Naturally, it’s exactly who you thought it was.
>There, standing behind you in all her regal glory, was Princess Celestia.
>She was staring down at you with an unreadable expression.
>Well, what a first impression you’ve made.
>You come to her capital, steal from her citizens, get smashed in an alley covered in garbage, then try to kill yourself in front of her.
>Maybe that expression is her way of hiding disgust.
>Maybe she’s about to send you to the moon where there’s no air for your smell to waft through.
>You can’t look at her anymore.
>You stop looking over your shoulder, and just stare at the stone barrier between you and your old pal gravity.

>You wait for her to say something.
>Maybe tell you how disgusting you are.
>Maybe give you some shitty pitying platitudes, about how it’s not worth it or some shit.
>Instead, the silence reigns for a while more.
>Then you hear trotting. She’s coming closer.
>She trots to you, straight to your right side.
>You see her legs from the corner of your eye.
>Then you see her sit down.
>…You feel a wing wrap around your back and cling to your left shoulder.
>Her wing pulls you closer to her effortlessly, pressing your face to her barrel.
>Ah yes, ponies and their touching. You almost forgot.
>…
“You know I slept in garbage, right?”
>She chuckles. “Yes, the smell gives it away I’m afraid.”
>…
>…
>…
>…
>…
“What are you waiting for?”
>You feel her glance down at you. “Hm?”

“Aren’t you going to spew that ‘you have so much to live for’ crap?”
>”Would you listen?”
“Probably not.”
>”Then no.”
>…
>…
“Then what are you doing here?”
>”Well, occasionally I feel rather cooped up in the palace. Sometimes I take walks around the city.”
“I mean what are you doing /here/? /Now/?”
>She stayed silent for a long moment.
>”Over a thousand years ago, I was rather… fond of myself.”
>Oh, good. Story time. That’ll help.
>”I was vain and proud, and I scarcely cared for the feelings of others. Even my own sister…”
>”I considered myself above my little ponies; beyond them. I lorded my perceived superiority over all, and basked in the praises I received.”
>She chuckled bitterly.
>”I remember my Elements were magic, kindness and generosity. What a joke. It’s no surprise that they considered me less and less worthy as time went on. The only surprise was that it didn’t happen sooner.”
>She pauses.
>”…One day, my sister became a monster. A monster I made. A monster I had to stop, to banish…”
>Yeah, yeah. You’ve heard it all before.

>”After my sister was gone, I became truly aware of how alone I was. More than that, I became truly aware of… who I was, as a pony. I gained self-awareness…”
>She sighed.
>”I thought about how selfish I was, how terrible and ignorant I had become. I kept thinking about all the things I told my sister, all the things I told… /everypony/. All the things I did, all with a self-assured, arrogant smile on my face like I was infallible, like I could do no wrong.”
>”I hated many things up to that point, dictators like King Sombra, mad entities like Discord… but soon all my previous hatreds were dwarfed by the hatred I felt for myself…”
>A pause.
>”I wanted to die.”
>…
>”I couldn’t stand the pain of the guilt, I couldn’t stand the disgust that filled me every time I looked into a mirror. I wanted to die so at last my sister would get /some/ kind of justice for all the things I did to her…”
>”So I created a spell. One that would destroy me, in body and mind. I would cast it, and it would all be over.”
>…
“Obviously, that didn’t happen.”
>”No, no it didn’t. Almost every night I would prepare the spell after raising Luna’s moon, and I would stare at the reminder of my sins. But I could never do it. Would you like to know why?”
>You sigh. You’ve listened so far. Might as well let her get to the point.

>”Fear.”
>You blink.
>That’s not the answer you were expecting.
>You look up to the princess, who is staring out over Equestria.
>”Alicorns, we don’t… age. For you, for my ponies, for almost every creature in the world, death is an eventuality. It’s inevitable. It’s easier for you to accept. It’s easier for you to… cut short.”
>She closes her eyes.
>”I don’t know about my fellow alicorns, but death terrifies me. I think it scares me more than anything else. Life is all I’ve known, and even after all this time I don’t think I could muster the courage to do it.”
>She once again chuckles, somehow even more bitter than before.
>”I added cowardly to my list of flaws after that…”
>…
>Was that it?
>Was that the moral, the ‘why’ of ‘why you shouldn’t kill yourself’?
>Death is scary? That’s it?
>You already died once! Death isn’t shit! If she thinks you aren’t going to-
>”I wish I could tell you that my cowardice lead me to realize how much of a fool I was, but it didn’t. It just convinced me even more that if anyone deserved to die, it was me. Yet no matter how great my self-hatred became, my fear was always a little greater. Centuries passed like this, my suicidal depression only held off by my own pathetic nature. All throughout it, my little ponies were none the wiser. I was a /very/ good actor, and I didn’t want to trouble them with my… inadequacies.”

“So when did you snap out of it?”
>”Three years ago, when my sister came back.”
>You jerk in surprise.
>”My sister came back, and she said she loved me. She meant it too, I could feel it. Then I felt like… like I could feel the love of my student.” You wince at her mention. “I could feel the love of my subjects, but it was different from before… it wasn’t just brainless admiration of what they view as superior. They actually thought I was worth loving…”
>She sighed.
>”Sometime over the last thousand years, in my wallowing and sorrow, I had become an entirely different pony. I became the kind and generous leader I always had so arrogantly assumed I already was.”
>…
>”For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t want to die anymore.”
>Well isn’t that nice.
>What’s all this got to do with you? Your circumstances are /vastly/ different.
>”I’m afraid, though.”
>Huh?
>”I’m afraid I’m not actually a different pony… that I’ve just been acting this whole time, just as easily as I’ve been acting like nothing’s wrong with me. I’m afraid that the second I become complacent, the second I let my head inflate… that I’ll become that pony again.”
>Then, silence reigns.
>It reigns for many long moments, with you just waiting for her to continue.
>She seems to be done.

>…
“You still haven’t told me why you’re here.”
>She opens her eyes, laughs, and shakes her head.
>”Ah, yes. I was so absorbed in my story that I forgot where I was going with it.”
>She looks at you, and locks her gaze with yours.
>”Over a thousand years ago, my ego was so large I refused to even consider going to Hearts and Hooves day with anypony beneath my standards. If there was a pony that met those standards, I never met them.”
>She sighs.
>”Then after Luna’s banishment, the idea of any kind of romance was terrifying to me. I was afraid that any suitor I would take would inevitably leave me once they realized what kind of mare I really was…”
>She looked away briefly. Then she looked back at you.
>”I didn’t realize Hearts and Hooves day was coming up until this morning. For the first time ever, I decided I wanted a date. But, with the day already being here, anypony I would have asked already had arrangements.”
>…
>”So imagine how I felt when I finally stumbled across someone who doesn’t have previous arrangements, only for him to jump off of a ledge.”
>She stares at you meaningfully, before averting her gaze.
>”So I suppose in short the reason I’m here is to ask you something, Anonymous.”
>She looks back at you.
>”It’s still a few hours before Hearts and Hooves day is over.”
>She smiles.
>”So would you please take this pathetic old mare out for a pity date?”

>…
>…
>You smile. Slightly.
“Yes. Yes, I guess I can do that.”
>”Thank you,” she says, and she leans in to nuzzle your neck.
>You get goosebumps as you are touched in a way you’d never been touched before.
>She snuggles even closer to your form, apparently truly unbothered by your garbage smell.
>…
>You guess you can kill yourself tomorrow.
>If not then, maybe the next day.
>Or the day after that.
>There’s no reason to rush.
>It’s not like you’re being timed.
~

>It’s been two weeks since you last saw Anon.
>He hasn’t shown up for work, and he hasn’t shown up at his house.
>Did he leave town because of what you said?
>You groan and put your head in your hooves, placing the book you’re currently too distracted to read on an end table.
>You shouldn’t have said what you said, but honestly what was he expecting?
>You’re a /princess/, and even before that you were the /personal/ protégé to Princess Celestia.
>Somepony like you can’t date some weird looking monkey alien!
>Even if he was a handsome pony and wasn’t so cripplingly antisocial, he simply wasn’t important enough to date you! Didn’t he see that?
>Naturally, he didn’t, and you had considered at the time that the reason being was his world’s romance worked differently.
>So, you explained why you refused to him.
>You got a little… excited during your explanation, and you said some things you shouldn’t have.
>But it didn’t make what you said any less true.
>Princess Celestia has never had a coltfriend, because nopony could /ever/ meet her standards. She’s just too magnificent.
>Princess Luna…
>…you actually don’t know if Princess Luna ever had a coltfriend or not. But if she did, you bet that coltfriend was the last male alicorn or a demigod or something.
>Despite how much sense it made…
>Anon was gone now. He just disappeared. He didn’t empty his home, or take any belongings…
>You huff and pick up your book to continue reading.
>How is it YOUR concern that Anon was deluded?
>How is it YOUR concern that Anon ran away the second he had to face reality?
>You’re the Princess of Friendship.
>You don’t have time for Anon. If he wants to run away because the truth hurts, that’s his business.

>It’s been three weeks since you last saw Anon.
>You’ve sent missives to all the major settlements in Equestria (except Canterlot, given that he can’t afford to even /go/ there let alone live there. besides, she would be wasting Princess Celestia’s time), asking them if a bipedal creature called a human has recently moved there.
>Not because he’s important or anything!
>You’re doing this on your own time because…
>…you might feel just a /little/ bit bad.
>Before you thought he was just dealing with his emotions in his own way. You figured he would be back since he never bothered to tell anypony or move anything of his.
>But he still isn’t back.
>What’s worse, is that all the missives you sent all got negative replies.
>Did Anon move out of Equestria?
>Was what you said to him really so hurtful that he decided he’d rather not deal with ponies /at all/?
>Thinking back, you remember some ponies talking about Anon way back just after he disappeared.
>They’d said that he asked them to Hearts and Hooves.
>Were you… the latest in a series of rejections?
>You suppose that would make your words that day much more hurtful…
>You shake your head.
>It doesn’t matter. You’re a Princess of /Equestria/. Why should you concern yourself about Anon if he’s out of your jurisdiction? He’s probably lounging around with some minotaurs or something right now. He’s probably fine.
>…
>…Just in case, you’re going to send out some letters.

>It’s been four weeks since you last saw Anon.
>The griffins haven’t seen him.
>Minotaurs have nothing.
>The saddle arabians saw nothing, and neither did the zebras.
>Your brother and Cadence haven’t seen him at the Empire.
>Finally, Queen Chrysalis said that even if she had seen him, she wouldn’t tell.
>…
>Hmm…
>You’ve got it!
>You know where Anon is now!
>He’s been foalnapped by Chrysalis!
>Wait, no, that doesn’t make sense. Why would she do that?
>…
>Anon moved out of Equestria…
>Because you rejected him…
>And so did a lot of other ponies…
>You gasp.
>Anon has JOINED Chrysalis!
>He has to have! This experience must have planted a hatred of ponies into Anon!
>Chrysalis, sensing his weakness, must have tempted him into joining her ranks!
>It’s perfect! She would have a willing spy that cannot be ousted by changeling detection magic!
>Not to mention all the state secrets Anon-
>Wait, Anon doesn’t know any state secrets.
>…come to think of it, neither do you.
>Well the spy theory is still valid!
>You’ve got to tell Princess Celestia!
>For whatever reason Chrysalis has recruited Anon, you know it can’t be good for Equestria!

>In a flash, you’ve teleported straight into Celestia’s throne room.
>Several petitioners jump back from you in surprise, Celestia herself visibly starting from the unannounced entrance.
>You open your mouth to say something, but gasps come out instead. Your legs are wobbling.
>Yikes, teleporting from Ponyville to Canterlot took a lot out of even alicorns!
>You sit down, and try to catch your breath.
>”Twilight, is everything alright?” Celestia asks from her throne.
“Pr-“ gasp “Princess!” gasp “I-“ gasp “Chrysalis” gasp “hu-“
>”Twilight, catch your breath, please.”
>You nod, and wait for your breathing to steady.
>Soon enough, you can talk again.
“Princess Celestia I-“
>You stop, and look at all the ponies still in court staring at you.
“Err, this is kind of sensitive information…”
>Celestia nods. “We’ll take a recess. Leave us.”
>All of the ponies, including the guards, file out of the throne room.
>Leaving just you and Celestia.
>”Now, Twilight, would you care to tell me what is so important you had to see me personally?”
>You’re about to open your mouth and unleash a veritable tsunami of words, but hold yourself back.
>You’re a princess now. Calm and composed.

“Princess Celestia, do you remember Anonymous? The human I told you about?”
>Celestia smirks, as though she were laughing at a private joke.
>Does she already know? Is this a test?
>”I have some recollection, yes.”
>Nodding, you continue.
“Four weeks ago, he disappeared without a trace. I’ve sent letters, and I can confirm he isn’t anywhere in Equestria, or at least not in any towns or cities. I doubt he would survive on his own out in the wilds…”
>She raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t interrupt.
“After not finding anything in Equestria, I theorized he left the country. After a few letters to our diplomatic allies and some… less friendly acquaintances. None of them had seen him either, or so they claimed.”
>”’So they claimed’?”
“Yes, Queen Chrysalis had some dark… implications in her reply. It’s my belief that due to some unfortunate events that happened around the time of Hearts and Hooves day that do not hold any relevance to the problem at hoof and thus does not bear repeating, Anon hates ponies now.”
>Celestia doesn’t reply at first. She’s just looking at you with this odd expression.
>It’s completely neutral, save the risen eyebrow.

>”Really? He hates ponies?”
>You nod.
“So it’s also likely that he joined up with Chrysalis and her changelings to get revenge.”
>Celestia is silent for a long moment.
>”Twilight, I’m afraid there are some severe flaws in your reasoning.”
“W-What? What could I-“
>”Are you aware of every little thing that happens in Ponyville? New arrivals, departures, and the like?”
“…No.”
>”Are you aware of every little thing that happens in Equestria? If a griffin crossed the border right now, would you know?”
>…
“…No.”
>”Then I’m not entirely certain why you expected the recipients of your letters to be able to accurately tell you whether or not a specific person has entered their borders.”
“But Anon’s a /human/! He’s one of a kind! He’s-“
>”He’s still a single individual. Not to mention that anomalous ‘one-of-a-kind’ beings appear often enough to easily dismiss a quiet-natured one.”
>…That’s all so obvious in hindsight.
>Are you really that stressed out about Anon being missing? That it’s effecting your ability to reason?
>…Maybe you do feel something for him.
>…Maybe you do miss him.

>”Aside from your flaws in reasoning, Twilight, you weren’t thorough.”
>Your eyes widen.
>What!? But you sent a letter to every settlement in Equestria except…
>…except…
>”After all, /I/ never received a letter.”
>As if on cue, the great main doors to the throne room fly open.
>Tall.
>Bipedal gait.
>Hands.
>Before you stood Anon, and looking much better than the last time you saw him.
>He’s actually… smiling…
>”Celly? Why’s everyone just waiting out-“
>He abruptly stops once his eyes settle on you.
>His face becomes very neutral.
>”Princess Twilight,” he greets emotionlessly.
>You can’t muster a reply.

>Your gaze snaps back to Celestia once you hear hoof steps, to see that she had descended from her throne and was walking towards Anon.
>You open your mouth to say something, though you’re not really sure what, when Celestia closes the gap between her and the human.
>She wraps a huge wing around him with a grin and pulled him into-
>WHAT
>WHO
>WHERE
>WHEN
>WHY
>WHAT
>WHAT!?!?
>CELESTIA AND ANON ARE KISSING
>NOT PECK KISSING, NOT LIP KISSING
>TONGUE KISSING
>/WHAT/!?!?!?
>Celestia opens an eye and peers at you, before breaking her kiss (KISS!) with Anon (ANON!).
>Celestia giggles at what you’re guessing is your expression while Anon’s smile returns.
>”Oh, I’m sorry to surprise you in this manner, Twilight. I was going to announce to Equestria that I now have a consort, but Anon didn’t want the attention.”
>You just stare dumbly. What else can you do!?
>”As you can see, Anon is alive, well, and most certainly does not hate ponies.”
>”What?“
>”In fact, I would go so far as to say he /loves/ ponies.”
>Celestia leans in to Anon with bedroom eyes (WHAT WHAT WHAT).
>”I’ve seen physical evidence, after all.” She leans into his ear. “I’ve felt it too~” she whispered still LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
>twilight.exe has stopped responding.

>You woke up some time later.
>You apparently passed out from shock.
>You apologized to Celestia for wasting her time and made a hasty exit.
>So you’re now back in Ponyville, in your bed.
>Reevaluating your…
>Your what?
>Your life? Your beliefs? Your standards?
>…
>You’re reevaluating everything.
>Anon was good enough for Celestia, but not for you.
>…
>Maybe love transcends your position in life?
>You were adamant on staying single for all eternity after becoming an alicorn, but after seeing… /that/…
>You’re having some… thoughts.
>Specifically, thoughts about how lonely you are.
>You never really realized how much you wanted a coltfriend before.
>You threw Anon away like garbage though, and now he had somepony who was better than you in every conceivable way…
>You aren’t really close to any other males except…
>Except…
>…
“SPIIIKE! I NEED SOME HELP WITH SOMETHING!”

-fin-