>Be Anon. >Be Anon now living with Dash for about a week after dating her for a few months. >How you made it this far is still kind of a mystery. >She was even kind enough to help you get a ladder installed on the side of her house for you to get in and out without her taxiing you up and down every time. >One things for damn sure though... >No way your going to fuck this up. >Asking her out took courage. >Getting to this point had to be some kind of luck, but no way are you going to let it slip away. >Shes great. >Shes always looks good. >And above all, you care about her. >So much so that you find yourself doing things that you would normally hate with a burning passion, however, when she asks you to do it... >Suddenly it doesn't seem so bad. >"Hey Anon, can you clean the living room?" "Got it" >"Anon, you got dinner tonight?" "No prob." >"Anon can you do me a favor and clean out Tank's water and food bowls?" "I'm on it!" >Anything she asks... >Which normally isn't very much. >One night in particular she asks you to make the bed and of course you don't object. >Making the bed ain't bad at all. >However one thing you hadn't taken into consideration was that: your a dude. >Bed making is one thing you still think to do like a guy. >Which is that the bed should only need to be made once every fiscal year... >So that same night not long before bed time your making that bed like a man makes a bed; tucking the sheets in 4 feet, getting those perfect folds at the pillows. >Getting them snug and tight. >If you had a staple or a nail gun you'd nail those things in. >Needless to say, the bed is made. >One thing you did not take into consideration was that she is about 3 feet tall. >Her bed is big. >big enough even for you. >Making the bed with that kind of precision tends to make you short-sheet it. >Just a tad... >> >Not much later that night you both get into bed and the blanket may be fine, but the sheets barely come to her hip. >Your laying against the back frame with your arm wrapped around her as she struggles to get the sheets up to a comfortable position. >"What the... I-I can't get- gah! What did you do to the blankets??" >She gives you a slightly annoyed look. >Aw hell. >N-No problems! >Got this shit... >You grab the sheets and grip them tightly. "Whoa whoa, Dash relax." You peck her on the cheek, making her blush just a bit. "I got this." >You pull on the sheet yielding no results. They don't budge. >She gives you an unimpressed look, making you grow a little nervous. >C'mon man! >Now more determined, you grab and pull even harder. "HNNNNNN!!" >Dash lets out an annoyed sigh. >"Anon if you can't-" >Before she can finish, your hand slips and you punch her in the face. Knocking her head back against the bed frame and knocking her unconscious. "D...Dash?" >Oh... >Th-there are no words for this. >Can't even... >You stare at her for what feels like an eternity. >Secretly hoping she doesn't wake up so she can kill you. >You nudge her shoulder and tap her cheek. >Nope. >She is out. >Frankly you believe you've really out-done yourself here. >That was extraordinary! >Way to fucking go... >Have definatly skipped some levels on the "How to make others think you are beating your girlfreind" charts. >...well while shes passed out may as well grab her but, yeah. >Yeah thats some hot business right there alright! >Hopefully she won't remember this. >> >You stand atop a mountainside looking over a cliff. >A raging storm of thunder and fury roars on in the skies above, a physical manifestation of the anger you currently face. >The booming thunder echoes across the plains below, with lightning cracking the sky to light up the entire view for a split second at a time. >"ANON!!" >A voice calls your name, the crackling thunder accompanying it's call. >You fall to your knees and face the mare who is now an embodiment of pure rage, hovering a mere few feet in front of you. "OH god! Dash, I'm so sorry!" You beg, "I didn't mean it! Please! spare my miserable life!" >Your plea only makes her giggle, her laugh is accompanied by the strike of lightning behind her. Adding a menacing tone to her already unhinged emotions. >She is so enraged to the point where she is hysterical. >"Oh, Anon." She says, "Begging like a dog isn't going to help you now..." >Now quivering in fear on your knees, you know that the only option you have is to run. >But where? How? Shes too fast to get away from. And its not like you can just fly off the damn edge here. "D-Dashie, h-honey, listen; I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have hit you! I'm sorry!" You cry, tears running down your face, "Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?" >Again, she only laughs. >A cold chill runs down your spine and goosebumps cover your body, making you quiver. >There's no telling what she'll do. >"Anon..." She says calmly, "I know how loyal you are, its part of the reason why I chose you as my special somepony..." >Dash lowers herself to the ground and approaches you. >"And as the Element of Loyalty, its what I value more then anything." >She gets a little closer, her face now only a few inches from yours. "Do...do you really mean that? Y-you aren't angry at me anymore?" >"Oh Anon," She says into your ear while caressing your cheek, "your loyalty is so touching, but that isn't the most important thing in your life right now..." "Whoa, Dash! What are you doing?!" >Dash lifts you off the ground and takes to the sky, keeping you afloat over the cliff. >Lightning strikes. Revealing the jagged, sharp rocks that await you at the ground should she let go. >"But what -is- important Anon, is gravity!" >She changes her grip, holding you up by your ankle with only one hoof. >"I have to remind you Anon, this is my weak hoof!" "Please no! Don't do this!" >"Hey Anon," She says with her eye twitching, "Remember when I promised to kill you last?" "Th-thats right Dash, you did!" >"I lied..." >Her grip loosens and lets you go, leaving you tumbling and writhing in the wind as you fall to meet your death. "AHHHHH!!" >> >You bolt upright in bed, covered in a cold sweat and panting uncontrollably. "Wha...What the hell?" >A quick scan of your surroundings helps bring you back to reality. >Your at Dash's house. >You live here, remember? >Right... >It was early morning, and the sun had just started to barely peak through the window curtain, illuminating the room just enough to see clearly. >You lean to your right, seeing the blue Pegasus still asleep. >Or knocked out still... >She lay on her side, face half buried into the pillow, her mane blowing in and out of her nose as she takes each breath. >You brush her mane to the side just enough to not obstruct her breathing. >Looking down, you see the blankets and sheets still tightly tucked into the sides of the bed. >Still at her waist line. >Last time you ever make the damn bed. "Hey, Dash." >She doesn't say anything, only grunts in her sleep. "Dash!" You nudge her shoulder, making sure shes okay. >"No Spitfire, I don't wanna mop the sunshine off the run ways again..." >Shes okay. >Thank Christ. >You breath a sigh of relief. Theres no telling what her friends or, fuck that, Spitfire or the other Wonderbolts would do to your ass if they found out what happened. >Now all you have to do is find a way to make up for last night's debacle, or meet with a grim, mountain top "Commando" style death. >Breakfast in bed? Breakfast in bed. >Quietly, you slither your way out of bed, weaving yourself out of the sheets and make your way to the kitchen. >> >You awaken in a daze and with a throbbing headache. >What happened last night? "Ugh my head... M-my head? Why does my head hurt?" You ask yourself, rubbing your temples. >Wait a sec. >Its all coming back now. >Anon made the bed, the sheets were too short, and then... "And then... ugh, can't remember. Oh well. Probably not important anyway." >You yawn and stretch, fully extending your wings and legs. Working out any cramps and scratching any needed to be scratched areas. "Hnnn, ahh. Well, whatever reason I have this headache, at least I slept really good." >Everything but your head feels okay at least. >Well, save for your right eye. >Feels a little swollen. >Actually now that your thinking about it. It kinda hurts. >Like a lot. "Owe!" you rub at your eye, "Why does..." >Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of the door to your room opening up. >In walks Anon, holding a platter of food. >"Good morning Dash!" He says entering the room, "I just uhhh, whoa shit..." "What? Whats up?" >"N-nothing! I was just bringing you breakfast is all!" >Well that was nice of him! >Doing this for nor reason... "Aww, thanks Anon! You didn't have to though." >He walks over by the side of the bed and lays the platter at your waist. >"Here ya go, hope I was able to get it right and not burn any of them without realizing..." >The platter consisted of a stack pancakes smothered in syrup, with a side of whipped cream. As well as a square slice of butter, partially melted on it's surface and running down the side mixed in with the syrup. >Lastly, there was a small side of grapes covered by whipped cream. >The cream much like the butter was partially mixed in with the syrup, and slightly melted from the heat of the pancakes. "Wow, this looks awesome!" You say taking a whiff, "How long did it take to make all this?" >"Not that long, really. But before I forget..." >He leaves the room and re-enters a moment later. >With a mug of... "Cider?!" >"Thats right, just for you." He says placing on the stand next to your side of the bed. >Wow, this is great! Breakfast in bed, cider, and- >Wait a minute. >What did he do? "Hey Anon," You say, glaring at him, "whats with all this nice stuff huh? I don't ever remember me asking you to do anything like this." >"Uhhhh... w-well like I said, I'm just repaying you for inviting me to live with you is all." He says scratching the back of his head. "Thanks, I...ugh." >You can't help but be reminded of the pain in your right eye when you look up. >The sunlight from the window makes it hurt. >"Dash? Whats wrong?" >Damn this headache, and the eye! >Why does your eye hurt so damn much? "I have a headache, and my eye really hurts for some reason. Can you bring me a mirror?" >Anon seems to grow nervous at your request, tripping over his words. >"A m-mirror? Why?" He says nervously, "You look great! You don't need a mirror for that, come on now..." "Yeah great, thanks. I just wanna see if theres anything in my eyes." >With a heavy sigh, he leaves the room and leaves to grab a mirror from the restroom. >Well, may as well start eating. >Maybe the food and cider would help take your mind off the pain. >A few bites in and low and behold the pain starts to recede, Anon did a good job. >Maybe... you shouldn't ask him to do so much around the house. >Anon walks back in looking at the ground. >"Heres the mirror..." "Thanks! The food is really good by the way," you say raising the mirror to examine yourself, "I really appreciate-" >Your heart sinks. >A black eye?? >How?! "How did I get a black eye?!" >Anon stand there scratching the back of his head. >"Y-yeah...about that." >> >"YOU WHAT?!" She screams, "YOU'VE RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" >Okay admittedly this is actually going better then you thought. >Your still alive for one thing. "N-now Dash listen, it was an accident. I didn't mean to-" >"My eye! Look what you've done to my eye!" >Rainbow Dash flips the tray of food off her legs and fixates her gaze on you. >You can actually feel her eyes burning a hole into your face. "Dash! Be reasonable! I uhhh, uhhhh..." >You grab a pancake from the floor and hold it up as if to present it to her as a gift. "Pancake?" >Not only does your pancake not work, she goes off even louder then before. Her face turns red and her eyes roll into the back of her head. >Okay maybe not that. >But you could swear she said something in Latin before attempting to leap at you. >"You are so DEA- Wahh!" >As Dash makes her first attempt at ripping out your jugular, she is caught by the bed sheets still wrapped tighty around her waist. >She bounces back into the mattress, letting out a cough from having the air knocked out of her slightly. Giving you the precious seconds needed to make your escape. >You make a break for the door, sprinting at full speed down the hall. >"COME BACK HERE!" >That was all you heard before going out the front door and sliding down the ladder, almost jumping right off in the process. >Now in a dead ass sprint, you make you way to Ponyville wearing only your boxers and a sweatshirt. >Maybe you can find a place to lay low until she cools off. >From behind you you can hear a loud crash, followed by the sound of pure, unfiltered rage. >Taking a glance back too see if you still ahead, you are stricken with a sight to behold. >"AAANOOON!" >Rainbow Dash has broken a hole through the roof of her own house. >Its made of clouds, sure, but still though... "Oh no, Oh God, OH FUCK! Game over man, GAME OVER!" >You pick up the pace, and go straight down the main road through Ponyville. >If she sees you, then there is no way. You screwed! She'll do horrible things to your body! >...Sounds kinda hot. >Maybe you should... >Wait, NO! Must keep mind out of gutter! Focus on survival! >Still sprinting, you notice a small opening between two houses. Diving right in, you stop and lean against one of the walls. >Panting and sweating profusely, you catch your breath. "Oh god. Oh no, ohgodohno, I'm dead! I'm so screwed!" >Okay okay, just stay calm, be cool and you will live for at least 15 more minutes before she finds you. >A minute goes by. You peek your head out of the corner and with a heavy sigh of relief, you slide to the ground with your back against the wall. "Its okay...its okay." You tell yourself, "I just... I just have to talk to her, thats all." >Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a jet-like object screaming past the opening where you hide, leaving behind a trail of rainbow. >"I'll find you Anon!" >Actually maybe talking is still a no go. "Okay, maybe not talk." You bury your face in your hands, "Aw hell! what am I gonna do? I can't keep playing hide and seek!" >"Hide and seek!?" >You turn to see a typically chipper then ever Pinkie Pie. >"Can I play Nonny?" She says excitedly, "I know all the best spots!" "No! I'm not playing, I'm hiding from death--best spots you say?" >Pinkie sits on her haunches and clops her hooves together, "Well sure! If anypony knows how to play Hide and Seek, its Pinkie Pie!" "Thats great! But do me a favor and keep your voice down would ya?" >Pinkie giggles and makes a gesture of zipping her own mouth shut, locking it up, and throwing away the key. >"You can hide but you can't run! I'll find you eventually!" Rainbow calls out from the streets, her voice echoing off the walls. "Pinkie, can you tell me where a good hiding spot is?" >Pinkie taps her chin and looks to be deep in thought. She tugs on your shirt sleeve, and points a hoof to the Apple farm. "Pinkie your a genius!" >She closes her eyes and nods in agreement, still not talking. >Making a break for it from behind the houses and out of sight, you head straight to the farm. >> >Oh once you find him, he's gonna get it! >He thinks he can just run off before you lay into him about this!? >Be Rainbow Dash, also pissed off and angry again! "I saw him running this way, but I don't..." You think to yourself. >Scanning the horizon, you notice a familiar face walking out from between a couple of houses. "Pinkie!" You shout, getting the part pony's attention, "Hey, Pinkie!" >"Oh, hi Dashie!" she says waving her hoof from below, "Are you the one whos playing Hide and Seek with Anon?" >Hide and what? >What is she even... >Never mind, its Pinkie Pie. >Wait, Anon!? "What about Anon!? Where is he??" >"Oh Dashie I can't tell you, that would ruin the game." She says waving a hoof, "Say, what happened to your eye?" "Anon hit me and then ran off, thats why I'm trying to find him!" >"He, -hit- you??" "On accident yeah, did you-" >"But why!? Why would he? I thought you were his special somepony!" Pinkie cries, "Well he can forget me playing!" "Ugh." You cover your face and shake your head, "did you see him or not?" >Pinkie sniffs, wipes her muzzle, and points towards the Apple farm. >Perfect, AJ will no doubt help you fin him, that is assuming you don't catch up to his big slow rump before then. >You wind yourself back and launch forward, leaving only a poof of smoke behind you. >> >Lets face it. >Running for prolonged periods of time really blows. >But with the right motivation, the human body can go for miles without stopping. >This being a perfect example, because your still sprinting for dear life. >The farm grows closer and closer upon the horizon, and theres no sign of Dash following you. >Not yet at least. >Still, would be wise to find a suitable hiding spot asap. >You hop the fence surrounding the chicken coup and make straight for the barn, focusing so hard on the barn door that you completely ignore the basement door now directly beneath you. >Which you fall into. >Way to go dipshit. "Ahhh! Owe! Fucking, fucker fuck!" >You stumble and tumble down the stairs, until you meet the ground face first. >Looking up and trying to get your bearings, everything seems hazy. >Whether its from the dust you kicked up or from the impact you don't really know. >But what you do know is that this blows even harder now... "Ugh...damn that sucked." You say picking yourself up. >Looking around and observing the darkened area, you come to the conclusion that this may actually be the ideal hiding spot. "Y'know come to think of it, this might work." >Your just about to stand up, until you see a ghostly figure approach you from the darkness. >The figure hovers over to you, dawning an all grey outfit, and is...human? >What? >"There will be a Mint-Jula on the other side, son." The figure says, fully revealing itself. "G-ghost of... Stonewall Jackson?" You ask. >"Indeed I am." "Ghost of Stonewall Jackson, what are you doing here in Equestria? Am... Am I already dead?" >"These questions are irrelevant, Mr. Anonymous." >The ghost of Stonewall Jackson raises his hands. "What...what are you doing?" >You feel a tingly feeling in your body. >"Release your soul to me..." >You feel a pulling sensation in your stomach, and suddenly a white ghostly figure of yourself begins to trail out of your mouth. "N-no! Whats happening?!" >The ghost of Stonewall Jackson laughs manically, draining you of your essence. >"May the lord anoint this hallowed basement, as your grave!" "NOOOOOO-" >> "OOO!" >"Anon! Anon wake up! Its me, Applejack!" >You awaken to find your self still on the ground of the basement floor, being shaken back to your senses by Applejack. >"Anon? Are you okay? You were sound'n like you were having one heck of a nightmare!" >You rub your head and eyes, shaking off the vision you just had. "Yeah... I'm fine now though. Thanks, AJ." >Fucking Stonewall Jackson...why? >Applejack looks at the basement entrance then back to you. >"What in the heck were you doing down'ere anyway?" >Uhhhhhhhh.... "I was just uhh, testing the durability of these stairs...with my spine." You say now brushing yourself off, "They passed if your wondering." >AppleJack looks at you with bewilderment. >"Uhhh. Thanks?" She says scratching the back of her head, "I still think your not right from that fall though, maybe you should see a doctor." >"ANON! I know your here! I saw you!" >Oh fucknuts, thats Dash's voice! "Uh-oh..." >"Oh hey, I think thats Rainbow!" AppleJack says now walking up the stairs, "I'll bet shes worried sick about yah from the sound of it." >Applehorse plz... >> "Applejack, wait!" You call out, making sure not to alert Rainbow to your presence, "Listen, Dash isn't exactly worried about my well being right now. Shes looking for me for uhhh, another reason..." >The orange mare stops in her tracks and squints her eyes. >"Alright then, why -is- she looking so hard for you?" She says coming back down the stairs. >Oh lord, this is gonna be a hard story to tell without pissing her off. >You take a deep breath and softly clap your hands together. "Okay so, I may or may not have done something to Dash that was kind of...bad." >Applejack cocks her head slightly to the side and scoffs. >"Aw c'mon, it can't be that bad. Rainbow may be brash or short tempered at times but, she doesn't throw fits over little stuff." "I gave her a black eye." >"I mean I remember when- wait, you WHAT?" >Applejack's calm expression quickly changes to one of anger and concern. >"Okay, start explaining! Now!" She says tapping her hoof with each word. "It was an accident! Honest!" You take a step back, "I'll tell you what happened..." >Without sparing any detail, you sit down and explain to her the situation. >The living with Dash, the short sheeting, the black eye... "And so, here I am." You say scratching the back of your head. >Applejack taps her chin, contemplating your plight. >"So, lemme get this straight." Applejack takes off her hat and sits down on the bottom step, "You think that Dash, my friend Rainbow Dash, is gonna kill you for accidentally giving her a black eye?" "Well yeah! I mean, I've done my best to take good care of her and never do anything wrong I just-" >"Thats crazy, and your a coward." >What? "What?" >She puts her hat back on and sighs, "Anon, you wanted to prove to Dash your not a wuss by being able to pull the sheets up for her right?" "Yeah." >"And by doing that, you accidentally hurt her, right?" "Yeah..." >"So why then, wouldn't you just y'know, -talk- to her about it? Like a couple should when they have a problem?" "Well I wanted to, but she was so angry I just kinda...ran off. Like a cow-" >Oh fuck. >You look down to the ground, Applejack's words ringing in your head. >You really are a coward. >Great, now Dash probably thinks your a total pussy now. >Not even man enough to own up to your fuck up. >God dammit. No! >What a fool you've been! >Well, can't let this be the end of your relationship. There has gotta be something you can do to make up for this. >You love her, dammit! "Applejack, your right. I've been a complete idiot in how I went about this." >Applejack raises a brow, "Ya think?" She says, in a monotone voice. >With a heavy sigh, you rise back to your feet. "I'm gonna talk to her. And soon, this will all be just water under the bridge. Just a funny story to tell at parties!" >"Well good on ya!" Applejack says with a smile, "Glad you found your nerve." >With newfound confidence, you ascend the stairs. Ready to face Rainbow Dash and tell her how sorry you are. >You stop hesitantly just below the entrance, checking to see if the coast is clear. >It seems that way... >Alright, lets do this! >Any second now, and this will be just something to look back and laugh at. >Yeah! Any second now. >...Your still standing here. Whats the hold up? >"Any day, Anon." Applejack says from the bottom step. "I'm gonna, just give me a minute!" >You take a deep, breathe, and think to yourself the age old expression that sees you through every hard time or moment of turmoil. "Fuck it." >You emerge half way from the basement, squinting your eyes at the daylight. >For thousands of years you lay dormant, who dares?! >Okay enough. >The sky is a clear ocean blue, save for a few clouds here and there. >The cool breeze feels great in your thighs. >Oh, right. Your still in your boxers. >"She out there?" >Taking a look around, you examine the area. Looking for any blue Pegasi. "I don't see anyone." >Maybe she went looking someplace else? >"I'm behind you smart one." A familiar voice says. >Oh... "Oh! Dash! I uh, didn't see you!" >She says nothing. Only hovering there, a few feat of the ground with an annoyed expression. "Alright, alright. I can explain!" >"Do tell." She says crossing her hooves, her wings fluttering oh so casually. "Listen, I know your really pissed about the eye, okay? I get it." >"Oh really? Thats good, thought you were totally clueless about it all..." She says with much sarcasm. >You do your best to keep eye contact while explaining yourself. Her black eye almost swelling completely shut now, making it hard to focus. >Oh fuck you better do something amazing to make up for this... >You fully emerge from the basement, with Applejack following in tow. "It was an accident. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just short sheet'd the bed too much and uhhh," You look away for a second, and then back to her. "...lost my grip." >"Lost your grip huh?" She says, hooves still crossed. "I'm sorry." >Rainbow Dash hovers down and softly lands on the ground. >Her look of anger has seemed to tone down a bit to "pretty annoyed". "I love you, and I'm sorry." You say, being as sincere as you can, "I should have kept a better grip, heh. And I shouldn't have ran away..." >She raises her brow, not very impressed but still listening at least. "I've failed you. I should've stood there and owned up to what I did, even if it was an accident. I should have communicated better." >You continue on, now growing angrier at yourself as you go. "I was a complete idiot for running! I know you were mad and probably wanted to kill me. But still!" You stare at the ground. The anger turning to remorse, "I mean, j-just look at me!" >It all starts to quickly rise to the surface. You've always wondered whether or not your worthy of her. >Whether or not you could really have what it takes to be with her. "Even now! I'm crying like a bitch after running away from the only one who makes me feel like I'm worth anything!" >You breath a heavy sigh and wipe at your face, getting the tear that was welling up in the corner of your eye. "I'll understand. If you don't wanna be with me anymore, I mean..." >> >Well this is certainly not what you expected. >In fact, nothing about this morning was normal. >First you find out you have black eye, then you get syrup and cream all over your floor, THEN you accidentally break a hole into the roof after breaking yourself free from the sheets. >Yeah. Eventful, to say the least. >And now, it seems you have another problem right here in front of you. >Oh Rainbow, what a mess. >Anon continues looking at the ground, looking like he really meant what he said. >Maybe...you went a little overboard at the start? >You look over to AJ, who is sitting at the other end of the basement entrance. >She shrugs, and waves her hoof for you to say something. "Anon..." >"Yeah?" "I'm sorry too." You say sitting down, "I kinda...overreacted at first. I just saw my eye and well...y'know." >"Maybe we both went a bit over the top?" "Guess so." >"...." "...." >"Just a quick question?" "Yeah?" >"Were you really that angry? I mean, you put a hole in the roof." >Oh crap, forgot about that. "Well when you ran out of the door I tried to get out of the sheets to stop you, but the sheets caught me the first time I tried to get up." You scratch the back of your head, drawing circles in the ground. "And I kinda launched myself straight up without realizing how hard, to free myself..." >Gonna have to fix that later... >"Well...we can fix that later I suppose." >Perfect. >"This is real heartwarming and all," Applejack interjects, "but I kinda have work to do." >Oh whoops. "Heh, Sorry AJ. We'll get out of your mane." >Both you and Anon begin making your way back home, making idle conversation on the way back. >"Listen, Dash, I just wanna say again that I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I swear!" "Well you better!" You say flying by his shoulder, "I won't be able to fly straight with my eye like this for awhile!" >Anon rubs the back of his head, "Well I got that much!" He says now waving his hands, "I'll find a way, I promise!" >Damn straight. No telling what Rarity or Twilight will say when they find out about this... >Not to mention, what are you gonna tell Spitfire? >Your gonna miss a week of practice at least! She won't be happy.