>Be the one and only
>Anon
>In your home in Equestria
>Having an amazing day
>Today is gonna be the best
>You can feel it in your bones
>Today is yours and nothing will stop you from taking it
>You know this as you sit on your couch and contemplate how you are going to take today by the horns and flip it on its back
>You feel the raw power emanate from your very being 
>Nothing can hold you back 
>Nothing
>As you get ready to leave the couch behind and show the world you mean business, you notice something off
>On the other half of the couch there is something that doesn't belong
>Something that wasn't there before
>A dakimakura
>A Discord dakimakura
>All your confidence and bravado that you previously held leaves you instantaneously
>You slouch a little and rub the side of your face wearily
"What do you want Discord?" you call out to the ominous daki
>As if on cue, the daki stands straight up and Discord bursts out of it with a wide grin and a blast of confetti that rains down all over your living room
>"Anon! My favorite green friend! Your senes are as sharp as ever! How did you know that I was hiding here?"
"You already know the answer to that question, so lets just cut to the chase, what do you want from me?" you ask grumpily
>Discord recoils slightly "My my, it seems like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was just on my way to the train station, and I figured I would pay my good friend a visit and see how his day was going."
"That is such a load shit and you know it! The only time you ever come to see me is when you wanna fuck around with me or make me look like a fool in front of everypony!" 
>You jab your finger at Discord who happens to have materialized a halo around his head and is currently whistling inconspicuously
"And dont you even think for a moment I have forgotten how you made all my clothes disappear in front of everypony at Pinkie Pies last party." you seethe with an amount of venom that would put a manticore to shame
>Discord rolls his eyes and plucks the halo from around his head and twirls it around his fingers
>"I cant believe your still hung up on that. The only reason I did that is because everypony had matching outfits except you, and I didnt want you to feel left out or embarrassed. Besides nopony was complaining about your nudity but you! If anything I think it was pretty well received. I mean you should hear how often Fluttershy brings it up during tea! All good things I assure you." Discord winks
>You feel your face go slightly red with embarrassment, but fortunately you're still pretty angry
"You know exactly what you were doing and so do I, and frankly I dont appreciate it, so If your gonna screw with me again just so you can get your sick kicks, go ahead and do it already! I have shit I gotta do today."
>Discord sits down on your couch and solemnly looks down at the floorboards as if he were contemplating an inner sadness that you knew nothing about
>A sad violin tune can be heard playing from out of nowhere
>"You know Anon....do you ever think that maybe the reason I play little tricks on you is because I want you to notice me and for you to be my friend?"
"No, that isnt why you do it, you do it because your sadistic and you love causing mayhem so you can enjoy your own twisted laughs." You state matter of factly
>Discord's expression quickly reverts to its joker self "Well that's only a part of it! There are other parts too! I also like to sometimes incorporate a valuable lesson into my chaos, and I do also use it to get friends and by extension attention sometimes! Some of that last part is true for the pranks I pulled on you as well!"
>Discord teleports next to you and puts his arm around your shoulder "I mean I was right there next to you in the nude when I exposed all your bare humanness to the world! We were like brothers in arms! Not afraid to show Equestria what we are made of!"
>You kind of wanna strangle this draconequus right now
You let out a sigh seeing as how you cant win with this guy "I'll say this again Discord, what do you want from me?"
>Discord takes his hand from your shoulder and walks over to the door, he snaps his fingers and a suitcase poofs in next to him "Oh nothing really, just wanted to see if you were finished packing, thats all. I mean I guess if you were it would be pointless now."
"Packing? Why would I be packing?"
>"To get out of ponyville of course! I mean, you are leaving Ponyville right? Oh what am I saying!? Of course, your leaving Ponyville or at least maybe you were thinking about it, no man in their right mind would stay here knowing how hot its about to get in a couple of hours!"
>Your anger slightly subsides as it is slowly replaced with confusion
"Ok, stop being cryptic for a moment and tell me what the hell are you talking about."
> Discord's expression suddenly becomes serious and a little uneasy "Oh my Anon, do you not really know?"
"Know? What the hell am I supposed to know!?"
>Discord brings his talon up to his beard and strokes it quizzically "My this isnt good, this is really not good. I could have sworn I told everypony" He mutters to himself
>You start to feel your agitation return to you
"What! What is it! Tell me already damn it!"
>Discord snaps his fingers and a lit lightbulb appears above his head "That's right! I did tell everyPONY, but you're not a pony so I didn't tell you! That's why you dont know about the ferocious heatwave about to hit Ponyville! Silly me, I'll have to make sure to tell everyBODY next time! "
"Heatwave? You mean like the weather?"
>"Oh no no no Anon, this is a different kind of heatwave! One of the carnal sort. And its going to be affecting all the mares in the town in just a few minu- I mean hours! Surely you have read a few greens on this very premise no?"
>Discord drops a fat stack of papers on your coffee table 
>The papers seemed to all be covered with >green text 
>"Pretty soon all the mares in Ponyville are going to be tearing up the town in search of some poor stallion that they can ravage for the entire length of their weakness!" Discord says this with the widest smile you have seen on him yet
"Y-you mean like estrus? D-do all mares even go through heat at the same? I know its seasonal...but surely not everypony will turn at the same time..right?"
>Discord shrugs "Whos to say Anon? The inner workings of a mare are surely a wonderful yet mysterious thing! There isnt really any way for us to tell how this wave is gonna affect everypony or if it will for that matter. All I know is that my chaos radar was going nuts because of this wave so I figured as the protector of Equestria and by extension, Ponyville, I had a duty to make sure all the stallions were evacuated to safe mare-free locations before this thing hits!" Discord kneels down to face level and whispers to you "I also did a little ""looking"" and between you and me this heatwave seems like its gonna be one heck of a hot one! Almost abnormally so, as if someone had used a little magic to crank up its intensity twofold and then add a contagious element into the mix. Not that that's what happened however, I mean who would have the kind of magical reality-warping power to pull off that kind of thing?"
"Ok so, a few things, why didn't I get evacuated as well?"
>"Must of slipped my mind like with how I forgot to tell the non-ponys, I can be so forgetful sometimes! Dont worry, I'll make sure to remember you for next time!"
"What about Spike, are you saying Spike is still here in Ponyville?
>"What? Of course not! He was one of the first to be evacuated. You should have seen how much he insisted on taking shelter at Rarity's house." Discord nudges you with his elbow "But I knew what that old horndog was up to so I made sure he got taken to a safe place with all the others."
"So you managed to remember Spike, but not me....ok, so are you going to evacuate me now?"
>Discord retrieves an oversized pocket watch from nowhere and looks at it "Oh I would love to Anon, but I got a train to catch so I dont have any time, unfortunately. Just dont go outside for a few days and you might be fine....maybe."
"You said I got a few hours before this thing hits, I could probably also catch the train if I really hurry."
>Discord raises an eyebrow and flips his clock upside down "Oh silly me, I seemed to have made a mistake! You actually only have a few minutes!" Discord chuckles "Minutes, not hours! Im so bad when it comes to reading military time. Sorry about the confusion Anon."
"Your fucking with me again, you're orchestrating this whole thing to fuck with me again I know it!"
>You feel a small weight placed on top of your head, it being a tin foil hat
>"Calm down Anonymouse, what makes you think im behind all of this? What would I have to gain from trapping you in a town full of some of the horniest mares in Equestria? Im not even going to be here to watch! I have more important things to take care of." At the end of his sentence discord snaps his finger and he is suddenly wearing a checkered, black-and-sea-foam-green robe with a black katana strapped to his side. "Oh but if anything """interesting""" does happen to you, make sure you catch it on video!" Discord snaps his fingers again and a small video camera falls into your hands "I know a few individuals that are willing to pay top bits for a little interspecies footage!"
>You give him your best death glare showing your unamused self
>"Oh Anon, you're making a bigger stink out of this than it really is. Just don't go outside and you wont get your private parts bulldozed by everymare in Ponyville! I mean honestly, I thought you would be into that sort of thing."
>Ayo, hol up, the assholeonequus has point, you are kind of into that sort of thing. Your disposition brightens slightly as you finally realize the bigger picture here 
>"Just dont let anyone into your house and your precious human purity should go undefiled by those sex-crazed mares lurking out there! It's as simple as that."
"Alright, alright, I think I understand. Just stay at home for a few days until this whole thing blows over."
>"Exactly, thats all there is to it Anonymous."
In a false gesture, you bring your hand up to the side of your head as if you had forgotten something important "Oh shit, I forgot Rainbow and I were gonna have our bro out today at my house! Shit, I can't just cancel that out of nowhere because of her thing, that would be very un-bro-like. Maybe it will be fine if I just hang with her a little bit and then send her home..."
>Discord raises an eyebrow at you
You snap your fingers in false realization "Oh, and AppleJack is probably gonna come over tomorrow morning to pick me up for work on the farm! Well, I'll just have to invite her inside and explain I need a few day off until this whole thing is over with, she will understand." You feel your grin widen with the thought of each lewd confrontation you might have with your friends.
>Discord is now frowning obviously un-amused for some reason
"And then Pinkie Pie just likes to pop up in my house every now and then.....usually when I'm naked for some reason.....well im sure she will respect my boundaries and keep the poping up to a minimum. Oh and then I do have an overdue book I gotta return to Twilight, she usually comes around eventually to collect them, cant say I know where it is in here exactly. Ah and my clothes order from Rarity, If I dont go over to pick them she will probably end up bring them over here......."
>Discord in an obviously soured tone shakes his head disapprovingly "My, my Anon I'm shocked, if I didn't know any better I would say you were thinking of taking advantage of your friends during their moment of weakness."
"What? No....I mean if any of them did try anything, I would obviously and respectfully decline!"
>"Uh-huh."
"And I mean if they tried to overpower me, I would obviously put up a fight! I wouldn't just let them have their way with me or anything!"
>"Mmmmm hmmmm
"I mean who's to say who would win in that scenario? I have been feeling a little ill as of late, so I might not be up to my full strength, but I think I got enough stamina to las- to protect myself. I'm pretty sure I got this whole situation under control!"
>Discord rolls his eyes so much that they fall out of his head and bounce on the floor as if they were balls of rubber. He bends down to pick them up and puts them back in their sockets "Well based on your claims, it does seem like you have this whole situation """""Under Control""""", buuuuuuuuuuut since you and me are the best of pals im gonna give you a little trump card in case things get too under control for you."
>Discord shoves a claw into a mysterious pocket on the side of his body and begins furiously digging for something "Hmmm where did I put it?" All manner of cartoonish noises can be heard as he continues searching for his mystery object "No, thats not it.....I think it was around here.....hmmmmm AH here we are!" Discord takes his hand from out of his pocket and shows you some weird metal cage
>You observe the object and frankly you are disturbed and repulsed, It is one of those chastity cages for men, but this one had a little metal plate on the base with Discords smiling face engraved upon it
>"Just put this bad boy on and your risk of you falling victim to a mares furious lust drops to zero! It has a lock and everything, and the only way to open it is this key that I will be wearing around my neck!" Discord flashes his new necklace which has a tiny hand cuff-looking key dangling around it. "Pretty ingenious I must say!"
You give discord a deadpan glare "There is no way in hell that I am wearing that cuck cage."
>Discord frown briefly, but then he smirks "Well, if that's the case, I mean we can always go with plan B, that wouldn't be my first choice, but it seems like we are all out of options."
"Plan B? What the hell is plan B?"
>"This!" Discord snaps his fingers and suddenly you drop to the floor in pain, as if somebody had just point blank kicked you in the balls
"Ugh.........what.......the.......fuck.....did.....you do?" you choke out as you writhe in agony 
>the pain is immense, but it slowly begins to fade
>"Oh, sorry about that Anon, just a little side effect from the spell, it will wear off pretty quickly."
>You manage to pull yourself back to your feet, but you have to lean on your couch for support. You reach a free hand down your pants to check for damage, but everything seems rather.....normal.
"You son of a bitch, that hurt like hell, what did you do to me?!"
>"Just a simple spell really, I tied your life force to the seamen count in your testicles. If you were to expel any significant amount then you would probably fall over and perish. Nothing too amazing. This little incentive should help boost your resolve as you try to keep yourself in check."
You cant believe what you just heard, that's so outlandish and sadistic that he has to be fucking with you. "That's so fucked, I don't fucking believe you, you probably just wanted to make an excuse to hit me in the balls because you're an asshole!"
>"Oh but im not lieing anon! Chaos's honer!" Discord holds three fingers up making the scout's honor sign
>You are finally able to compose yourself normally and you seriously consider strangling this dumpster dragon whatever
"Like I would believe any of the shit that you swear by! Hurry up and get the fuck out of my house!"
>"Hmmmm seems like you really don't believe me then, guess I'll have to give you an example. Wouldnt want you to end up accidentally doing yourself in." Discord materializes a rubber glove and with a long stretching motion, stretches it over one of his hands as he slowly approaches you
"Woah, hold the fuck up, what are you planning on doing!? Don't come near me!" You slowly back to the wall and begin to feel yourself start to panic at the idea of being sexually assaulted by this gross old draconequus
>"Im just gonna show you what happens when you ejaculate. Nothing weird!" With his gloved hand, Discord reaches behind his head and pulls down a zipper from the back of his head down to his chest. 
>His skin falls to the floor as if it were a dress and what stands where Discord once stood was something else.
>It looked kind of like Discord, but it wasn't. It is definitely a draconequus, but more girly in appearance. It was more slender and feminine as well as having a large amount of white silky hair pooling over her face
"D-discord?" you ask hesitantly
>"Yes, but mostly no! Its Eris actually, but you can call me whatever makes you happy while I work you over!" This not Discord person continues to approach you with an eager look on her face
"W-wait a minute! Are you Discord or are you a girl or guy or wh-what are you! And whatever your thinking of doing, I'm not really into trannys so just back off for a moment!"
>Eris pauses for a moment "You seem pretty confused Anon so let me explain. Discord is the guy me, and Eris is the girl me! I switch back and forth depending on the situation. I really only switch when im going to reversed gender universes, but since we are such good friends, I don't mind switching for you. Now drop those pants!"
"N-no way! I'm not into dudes!"
>Eris lets out a chuckle "Jeez, dont worry about the little details Anon, and if it makes you feel any better, when I finally decided to start personifying chaos, Eris existed three fractions of a second before Discord did! So technically I was her before I was him! Now hurry up and pull it out, I gotta train to catch!"
"Im.....still very much on the fence about this for multiple reasons!"
>"Oh wait, I just remembered a party trick that I have." Eris snaps her fingers and suddenly all your clothes disappear from your body leaving you nude
>Oh shit
>Before you can raise your hand in protest Eris quickly coils around you with a blinding speed as if she were an anaconda and you were her prey about to be devoured.
>In no time flat her face is level with yours and her body is coiled around you making it so you are unable to move your arms as they are held firmly to your sides
>"Ha! Gotcha! Now let's see about our little friend here."
>You feel something soft and moist press against your flaccid penis. You look down and see what appears to be Eris's soft lower lips resting on the side of your dick. As you notice them they begin to get to work and start rubbing against your dick in a playful grinding motion causing you to gasp
>"Oh, looks like someones starting to get excited" Eris chirps
>Despite your efforts to resist, the amazing feeling of Eris's pussy is too much for you as it continues to brush against your penis causing you to get full mast in no time
"Y-you can't do this! This is rape!"
>"Nooo, it's just me proving that I wasn't lying! I mean if you want me to stop I will, just say the word."
>As you open your mouth to say stop, Eris quickly slams her pussy all the way onto your cock causing you to gasp for air as you try not to burst right there
"Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk."
>Eris blushes a little "Im glad you think so highly of my abilities Anon, It's been centuries since I have done something like this, now let me show you what draconequus pussy can really do!"
>With that statement Eris begins to slap her dripping wet pussy on top of your manhood relentlessly and with incredible speed, leaving you no room to catch your breath
>All you can do is moan in pleasure as her hot privates milk you for all that you're worth
>Eris looks you in the eyes while letting out little labored breaths of her own "Are you almost finished Anon? Let me know when you are about to die, okay?"
>You cant respond or even think about what she said. The way her pussy is relentlessly impaling itself over and over again upon your shaft is making your mind blank out from ecstasy
>She continues to brutally slam down on you for a few minutes and you feel like you might just burst at any second
>"*Hufh*.........Anon....*huf*...you know.....I gotta train to catch.......*huff*.......so we are gonna have to...*ugh*.....wrap this up okay?"
>All you can do is moan in response
>"Alright then lemme just..." Eris suddenly halts her assault on your crotch and quickly twists her box 90 degrees with your penis still inside it
>You dont know what she did, but the key-like twisting motion of her vagina around your dick sent an intense jolt of pleasure through your body causing you to climax and paint her insides white with the biggest load you have ever had.
> Your barely standing body collapses and your vision begins to blur
>All you can make out is a smiling Eris waving you goodbye as you drift into the cold blackness

>A droning flatline is all that can be heard as you  are one with the cold nothingness
>You remember this dreaded cold feeling as you have felt it before
>The feeling you had felt before you came to Equestria
>Of course there wasn't that droning flatline noise
>What is that you are just barely able to wonder
>Then suddenly a jolt of electricity runs through your body and the sound of a faint beeping and a female voice can be heard
>It says "CLEAR."
>Another jolt courses through your body and noises get even louder
>"CLEAR."
>Finally a third jolt hits you forcing your eyes open and causing you to immediately sit up
>"Ah Anon your awake! Welcome back!" A cheery Eris in a nurse outfit greets you with a beeping heart monitor right next to her
"Wh-what happened! Where am I!" You ask in a panic
>"Oh, well after you dumped a gallon of your baby batter inside me, you died just like I said you would! I told you so!" she says smugly
"W-what!? I died and you brought me back?!"
>"Pretty much, It was kind of like a reverse suck out the poison situation since your life force is now tied to your semen. I had to suck out all of that tangy cum of yours out of my vagina, there was a lot by the way congratulations, and put it all back inside you by blowing it back into your penis. Quite the tricky medical procedure I must say." Eris lifts up her defib unit  "And luckily I had my trusty shock paddles here to get you going again once it was back where it needed to be. I did keep a few cells just in case, might need an heir one day. Any more questions" Eris asks with a big grin that suggests that everything is fine and nothing fucked up had just happened
>You are still a bit dazed and confused from blowing the biggest load of your life, dying, getting a reverse blowjob, and being shocked back to life.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuu..."
>Suddenly, an alarm goes off on Eris's large watch. "Welp, sorry Anon, but that's all the time I have for today, its been really fun, but I have got a train to catch!" Eris materializes her suitcase and stuffs her Discord skin inside it which had been previously just laying on the floor. "Remember don't leave the house and don't blow any loads and if anything spicy like what just happened now occurs, catch it on video!" she says as she makes her way to the door
"W-Wait! Undo the spell.......damn it!"
>"Ah, I would but I can't, dont worry, it wears off after a couple of days."
"Th-that's bullshit!....there has to be something you can do! I could fucking die again and this is all your fucking fault anyways so take responsibility!"
>"Ugh, fine you big cry baby." Eris materializes a pen and paper and begins writing something down
>after a moment or two she finishes writing and tosses you the paper
>"Put all those ingredients in a jug of water and stir it really well, drink some of it and it should unbind your life force from your baby juice. Well hopefully we can have more fun together if you survive this Anon, ta taa!" and with a poof, Eris is gone
>You furiously scan over the list hopping for some quick solution to your beyond screwd situation 
>You feel your heart sink
>She......
>She is fucking with you again
>This list proves it, because it's absolutely fucked!


>~The Magic Potion of Unbinding: Chaos Style*~<
>*human edition

>1. A strand of Rainbow hair

>2. An apple straight from the farm

>3. Sweat from a book horse

>4. Black string from a white pony

>5. Orange frosting 

>6. Tea from Fluttershy

>-------------------- ~Love Eris    P.s. Yes it will really work!



>Beyond fucked
>That Discord......Eris.....whatever the fuck it is just gave you the biggest fuck you in all of Equestria
>This is a literal kill yourself list
>There is no way you could ever get all of these ingredients without getting sexually assaulted
>So you have only one other option
>Barricade the fuck out of your house and try not to coom in your sleep
>Best get to work then as you are short on time
>You were really supposed to hang out with Rainbow today, more specifically 3 hours from now, so you should probably get everything ready for when she inevtably come knocking on your door

>1 hour later<

>You are still the one and only
>Anon
>Sitting on the your couch
>In the dark
>Contemplating what life choices had directed you down this path and thus landed you in the most fucked situation of your life so far
>Hell even recalling the last couple of hours makes you consider that maybe this all just a very terrible dream and that you really wanna wake up from
>Your most hated nemesis transformed himself into a cute gir-.....into a girl and proceeded to rape you and then kill you and then bring back to life
>Your not sure what your supposed to do about that
>Who do you tell
>Twilight?
>Celestia?
>The Ponice?
>Would any of them even believe you?
>Actually more importantly
>Will you even live long enough to tell anyone?
>According to what Eris or ummmm Bitchcord told you, all the mares of Ponyville have got a really bad craving for some "PTSD"
>Pretty thick and strong dick
>haha that was bad
>You gotta keep your spirits up in these dark times however
>Espically considering that your the only male in Ponyville and if you orgasm your pretty much fucking dead
>Your just hoping none of them try to break into your house
>Nopony has before. (not counting Pinkie Pie) But even then you made sure your house looked as abandoned as possible
>You have locked all your doors and windows and closed every blind and curtain
>You turned off all the lights
>You also duct tape shut a few of Pinkie Pie's favorite "Appear out of nowhere spots"
>You prey to whoever is listening that its enough to keep you safe for the next few days
>Now all you have to do is wait...
>Which immediately brings you to your next crisis
>Its only been an hour and you are already bored to tears
>Sitting alone in the dark with nothing but the sound of dead quite can only be entertaining for so long
>You cant do anything that would require lots of light or that would make to much noise
>You cant even consider going outside  as well
>And the worst part is you cant even masturbate 
>Not that your really feeling like it at the moment anyways
>The fear of death is a pretty good boner killer
>That and you were still feeling a bit "off" from being raped earlier
>Your not sure if your gonna have to get therapy for that
>So its easy to say your not quite in the mood to whack it, but damn it do you still like having the option!
>And what the hell are you supposed to do when you get a boner? Just hope it goes away on its own?!
>Sound like torture to be frank, you should probably focus on not getting boners while your life is on the line
>As long as you dont think of anything that puts you in the mood you shouldnt have to wory about being horny
>Just dont think about stuff like Rainbow Dash's amazing thighs
>Dont think about how they perfectly tonned and fit they are
>So rock hard that she could probably juice watermelon between them
>Damn those thighs are so perfect, your certain they would vice grip around your head if you ever found yourself going down on her marehood
>And despite their utter solid perfectness they still look as soft as a pillow
>Perfect for providing cushioning to any high impact force suddenly being applied back and forth to the area
>What you wouldnt give to mating pres-
>You feel a disturbance in your pants
>Oh shit!
>Of fuck!
>You got a chub!
>Just calm down Anon, think unsexy thoughts, unsexy thought!
>uhhhhh
>Book
>Discord
>Pears
>Centipede
>Ok 
>Your fine
>That was a close one
>Cant let your mind slip like that again
>It could be the death of you
>Now where were we?
>Ah yes! Giving Dashy a mating pre-
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>Your entire body tenses up and you freeze
>There is a someone knocking at your door
>You wonder who it could 
>It cant be Rainbow Dash
>You arent expecting her for another hour
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>A familiar raspy voice rings out from behing the door "Anon! are you home!?"
>OH SHIT! ITS RAINBOW DASH!
>What the hell is she doing here this early?
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>*Knock*
>"Anon! Its Rainbow, could you open this dumb door alread please?"
>You hear the knob on the door jiggle as you assume she tries to open the door herself
>"Locked!? You never lock your door! Can you please open up?! I gotta talk to you about something important!" Rainbow cries out sounding somewhat desperate