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The War to End All Wars

Partially inspired by Anonistrator's When Nonny Comes Marchin' Home.

"Battery! Distance five hundred, angle forty-five, high-disperser A! Fire!"
>"Aye!"
>With a slight pull on the rope, complicated machinery of the battle stations starts to work, finally sending a dozen of high-dispersing airburst shells across the sky and to the enemy fort.
>"Cor-nel, we have a hit! One, three, eight, ten hits!" your adjutant proudly reports.
"Good work! Pre-e-pare!"
>Personnel of the battle stations is in a hurry, reloading the magnificent pieces of technology.
>Truly a great sight.
>"Cor-nel!"
"Eh"
>"LIE DOWN!"
>The next second, enemy high-disperser explodes ten foot above your fort.
>Your adjutant has been hit by one of the fragment, so you rush toward her...
>...and wipe a bit of snow off her muzzle.
>Yeah, you weren't expecting this when a brightly-coloured letter ended up in your face via Derpy.
>Letter was calling "anypony who wants to" to war, so you thought your experience in sheriff's office back in old U. S. of A. would help.
>It didn't, though.
>Wars here were only waged in winter and consisted of snowball fights that lasted until one of the sides retreated home; then the winner claimed a bunch of land at the border.
>And "the General Staff" almost had you arrested for alleged war crimes when you at first supposed you could use Pinkie's party cannon as a weapon.

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Still unnamed

>On days like these you really think you'll die of laughter some day.
>Like, really.
>When the applehorse offered you to be a bartender in their new "adult" (oh, man, her intonation at the time was priceless) bar, you reluctantly agreed.
>You had some experience as a bartender back on Earth, but in the land of child-like ponies it was going to be something unusual.
>And God is it unusual.
>First of all, their "adult" cider doesn't have more alcohol percentage than some root beer; how do they even manage to get it out of the drink?
>And ponies visiting your fine establishment definitely were watching too much Noir movies...
>...but they were somehow getting drunk while drinking alcohol-less cider and sugar.
>But running this place is definitely worth it!
>After all, you get to set prices (with Apple family supplying you, well, apples and some other ingredients) and you get to watch the stuff happening here every day - win-win.
>Shadowed door swings open, and a confused young stallion walks in, looking around and finally positioning himself on a stool before you.
"Good evening, sir, and welcome to the Bad Apple Saloon."
>AJ chose this name by herself, thinking it'd sound edgy or something. 
>It does, though...to the ponies.
>Pony before you looks around some more time, visibly kinda scared.
>"Y-yes, g-good evening..."
"What can I make you, sir?"
>"Sorry...I don't know..."
>You slip him a cocktail list. You always keep some of those around.
>"Yeah, make me a...Sunset over Canterlot, please."
>Ah, the good old classic.
>Sunset over Canterlot is one of the cocktails they've made up before your arrival, with you borrowing the recipe from Manehattan via Rarity.
>Half a glass of cider and cold thickened cherry juice on top. 
>Somehow it dissolves in cider only partially, creating a range of orange-y colors.
>Better not to wait with this one, though - as soon as juice warms up, it instantly mixes with cider.
"Your Sunset, sir."
>"T-thank you."
>He takes the glass in his hooves and starts examining it, then inhales loudly and tries to drink all in one sip.
>After finishing it, he gently sets the glass back and gets a little bit more...confident? Yes, something like that.
"Would you like something else?"