*This funny story was finished by two writefags*
Thread archive :https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/37284995/#q37284995
Original author is Anon and Anon
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Prompt:

>That's it! no more lying.
>I've just put the Pinocchio curse on you. Now if you lie, your dick will grow and I'll know it!
>Now, did you take a cookie out of the cookie jar?

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Who, me?
>Yes you!
>Now did you or didn't you?

"Absolutely not. No. No I didn't. I really didn't. Not me..... Eh, just a little more... I did not take that cookie. Alright, that'll do. I took that cookie, and now I'm going to size shame Big Mac and Trouble Shoes."

Twilight seizes you in her aura
"You're not going anywhere, the sentence for cookie theft is death!"

"Twilight, that is the most rational thing I have ever heard in my life, and on top of that I prefer you with wings."
>Your rapidly expanding dong slams into her face like a sledgehammer, before you turn, knocking books off of a shelf, and run for it.

Your newly expanded dong makes it difficult to move,
Not ten minuets later you see Twilight again with a noticeably swelling black eye.
Much more alert and keeping out of range of any sudden penile growth, she announces "Don't make this hard anon, and maybe we can reduce the sentence down to just Tartarus"

>You wince, body dripping with sweat
>It took great effort to furiously stroke your fence post sized dick, but you knew Twilight would catch you sooner rather than later
>You can't exactly run quickly hauling this thing around... Especially with your watermelon sized testes keeping you bow legged
>You let out a roar as Twilight finally shows her face after you've been keeping yourself on the edge, and a cannonfire of jizz rockets from you, exploding against her face like a slingshotted, massive water balloon
>Her eyes are plastered with pearly white cum, as her mouth, throat, and nose are blocked with your thick load
>You approach closer as you dump your weakening spurts against her, almost gluing her to the ground with your viscious sludge
"Fuuuck... Whelp, see you Twi."
>You leg it to the train station, catching the next train out of Ponyville.

Nearing the end of the day the final train for Dodge city was beginning to board.
Then you smelt it before you saw it, a mare, absolutely drenched, fur matted with cum.
"Did you see a human come through here? about yay big, huge dick."

>You look around as ponies half your height board the train
>It'd be a fools errand to try and hide among them
>So instead you opt to do the sensible thing and start muttering to yourself
"Twilight's ass is a normal size. Twilight is so smart. Twilight looks better with wings. I have not wanted to cum all over Twilight since the day I met her."
>As the train pulls away, you use your now limp sea serpent as an enormously thick rope, swinging it around an launching it at the top of the train
>You climb up it, onto the rooftop, and hunker down as the train picks up speed, transporting you to a new life

"Oh pricess, yes I did see him, just as the last train left, he was on top of it, plain for all to see, but it was realy hard to miss when the train picked up speed and the dick started waving about in the wind"
"Where's it heading?"
"Manehattan, should be araiving there just now."
It was difficult to see Twilight's horn light up as it was, like the rest of her, covered in cum.
In an instant she was gone, leaving noting but a small puddle.

"Two plus two is four. The sky is blue. The sun is hot. Celestia has a fat ass. Fluttershy has giant teats."
>You've been rattling off facts for ages, the truth shrinking your monolithic member, though not nearly as effective as lies for growing it
>It also seems like you can't just use the same truth twice
>By the time you're stepping off the train platform and picking up a newspaper to look for a job, your genitals are at a far more managable size
>A footlong hanging over two baseballs

Twilight teleported into manehatten, the explosive entrance coated surronding ponies with flakes of cum.
Several police officers approached Twilight, "Ma'am, you cannot go about in such an indecent manner"
Twilight spread her wings, again trowing cum everywhere, but also showing her royalty.
"As princess of Equestria I hereby enlist you and your department in a man-hunt"
The head officer sighed as her fellow officers called it in.
It's going to be a long night.

>Seeing as you have no actual skills, and cutie marks seem to rule over everything, the only real choice you had was to get into porn
>And with a magically growing cock that's already enormous, the casting couch interview was pretty easy
>You've booked in as many shoots as you can possibly do in as little time as possible
>You then head to the nearest bakery to place a very special order

>Be Casting Couch, best porn director in the industry.
>Some hairless ape comes in, wants a job, about to turn him away, but have a gut feeling.
>He's got a magic dick!
>Hire him on the spot
>hear he's wanted by the princess
>Damn
>Decide to keep him hidden
>Could go to jail for this
>He wants to go to a bakery
>uh, no
>I explain how they've got patrols on every street
>Offer to smuggle him out if he let's me cut his dick off
>seems like a fair deal to me

>Cut
>Your
>Dick
>Off
.....
"Starlight Glimmer isn't a cunt!"
>You let out a yell of pain as the magical expansion goes out of control from the biggest lie you've ever told so far
>Casting Couch is launched off her hooves from what feels like a runaway carriage slamming into her
>She's smashed through the plaster wall behind her, leaving behind a humungous hole
>You furiously rattle off facts while trying to drag your beached killer whale along the ground
>You move through the place with less and less weight pulling at your crotch, as you rob the mare of all the bits you can find, using a great helping of ballsack as an impromptu money bag
>Robbery sure beats being a slut anyway

Nearly instanly the secen is swarming with police.
"We've done it princess!"
"The biggest pony trafficking hub this side of Equestria, and we've got Casting Couch herself at the scene!"
Twilight freshly washed, intently soured the wreckage, and smiled upon finding a distint and famileor jizz stain, "Forget her, we need to find anon."
"What!? We can't just leave this, I've been on this case for years!"
Twilight's horn could be seen glowing this time, and it's mere presence shut down all dissent, "That's what I thought."

>You slam down your testicles, each now merely the size of overinflated basketballs, onto the counter, inside the bakery
>A bundle of bits, held in your ballbag explodes across the counter, as well as a free subscription to 'Teats' magazine
"Quickly, I want every single cookie you have, plus bake me as many as you possibly can, plus the biggest cookie Equestria has ever seen! I don't care if it takes all day, just bake damnit!"
>You shake loose a few more bits from your wrinkled, fleshy ballsack, covered in sweat

Many things were going through Silent Cookie's mind.
First of all was the absolute monster dong in front of her.
Then there was the memory of the police yesterday saying to call them if I saw anything that looks like this thing in front of her.
And then there was all the bits on her counter top, and it's been a slow month for bakers, and her cutie mark couldn't very well turn down someone in need!
Letting loose decorum in this most likely aiding illegality, she took one long sniff of the large dick's musk and invigorated, set to work.

>You pass the time by telling truths, lessening the weight attatched to you
>The weight is also lessened by allowing your giant nuts and monster dong to stay resting on the counter in front of you as you watch the mare work
>Luckily magic is powerful stuff, even when your dick is dwarfing the rest of your entire body, you don't simply die from blood loss, and it's as easy to grow erect as you usually would
>Proven now as you watch the mare's rump swaying back and forth as she bakes, finished tray after tray of cookies piling up more and more over time

"The trail's gone cold now but he couldn't have gotten far!"
Twilight sniffed the air, fresh beaked cookies... she missed Pinkie and the rest of her friends.
Wait a minuet! Baking? at this time of night. That's suspicious. she headed off following her nose.
If anything, at least she'll get something to eat.

>You're not sure why, but apparently this Silent Cookie mare required semen to keep her motivated to bake
>Not exactly a problem when your cum slit is multiple inches long, and oozing precum like a faucet
>Plus it's making her work like an absolute mad mare
>The cookies are piling up more and more, making you step back a little as the influx of baked treats just keep coming

Twilight knocks on the door of the only shop with lights on at this time.
Some panicked noise comes from the other side and then the door opens, and revels a
brown mare with a frazzled pink mane.
"Princess, whatever do I have to honour this blessed visit?"
"Well I was just wondering, who would be baking a t his time of night and..."
"Do I smell cum on your breath?"
"Well it's a privet matter but I have a stallion over"
"Oh, I'll have to insist on inspecting this fine stallion."
Twilight rubbed her legs together and barged through the door.
All the cum in the last few days had her worked up.

>Thousands of cookies
>Thousands of cookies everywhere
>And one enormous cookie so large you're using it as a seat while covering a plate full of cookies in your special white cream
"Are you sure this will help you bake even mo-Twilight!"
>You jump up, dick swaying around and spilling more seed on the floor
"Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later... Twilight, all these cookies are for you, if it will make up for the one that I stole, so you won't have to kill me or send me to Tartarus..."
"I don't know what the hell's been going on this past year, but everything's just gone retarded. Day to day life. Your laws. Even you."
"But I can't just run away from this problem, it seems like this retardation has spread everywhere. Hell, I went to try out for porn and a mare wanted to cut my dick off!"
"No, I can't just run... Ponyville has been the best place I've ever been, I loved my life there... And the truth is... Well, even if you've been acting strangely lately, saying that friendship can't be found in a book but making a school for it... Petrifying a little filly to stone... Getting, wings... All of it..."
"The truth is..."
>You pause and hold your breath before you reveal what's bursting in your heart.
"The truth is, I can't just escape you because... You're my waifu."
>Your genitals rapidly shrink down to micro-proportions, and you allow her a good ten seconds to take in the sight of your half inch long pecker
"And Rarity is a chaste virgin."
>Your dong swells out into a knee dangler once again

Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing, It had to be the most romantic speech she had ever heard, only slightly dimmed by the presences of some random Manehatten baker.
"Well, you did replace the cookie, and maybe I was reading the law too literally"
"All is forgiven, let's get that curse off."

"Oh no, the curse can stay, just don't murder me for cookie theft and you can enjoy all the cock and cum you can handle."
>You offer up a jizz soaked cookie to the adorkable, big butted purple Princess

"anon, it's a curse, and if it's on you for to long it will kill you. If you want a big dick just go to Zecora, she's got a potion for that."

"Oh, well then. Lets get rid of this curse and go visit Zecora then for as many potions as I can carry. Then, sex."

Twilight smiled warmly
"I'd love that"
Silent Cookie, not living up to her name spoke up.
"Can I join?"
THE END

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epilogue
Casting Couch woke with a splitting headache
"Celestia, what happened?"
Looking around, she saw the destruction, and then the police tape. "Oh shit!"
luckily they hadn't arrested her yet.
She moved for an exit she routed for just this situation.
It's all coming back that biped with the magic dong, slipped through my hooves.
It will be mine...