> at a little past four in the morning you hear a knock on your door
> "Anonymous? Pardon us for waking you, but we believe we may have been the unfortunate victim of some ill-mannered joke."
> the dubious tone of luna's voice tells you that she's a little peeved, but at four in the motherfucking morning you struggle to come up with anything she could possibly have to be upset about
"...Luna, do you know what time it is? I'm sure you do, considering you're in charge of the night and all."
> it's likely that luna winced from behind the closed bedroom door
> you were pretty cordial with her most of the time since she was a stellar roommate 
> that being said, getting woken up at FOUR IN THE MORNING is not going to bring forth your most pleasant behavior

> "We are aware of the time, yes, but this is urgent and requires your attention. As master of the house, it is your duty and obligation to ensure the safety of your fellow dwellers."

"Luna, please stop talking like that. I'll be out in a second."
> luna shuts her trap and presumably waits outside like a good horse
> seriously, she isn't that bad of a roommate 
> you've been through your share of shitty horse housemates, but luna is as clean and tidy as one would expect of a probably immortal princess 
> the details had always been a little fuzzy, but luna was supposedly taking a "break" from castle duties as per some agreement with celestia and had decided to shack up with you a few weeks after winter had rolled around
> why you?
> because twinkle spiggle recommended you, that's why
> so it was that your peaceful anonshack in the outer-reaches of ponyville became shared property with princess luna 

> you exit the room with a yawn and scratch your ass through the thin fabric of your maroon pjs 
> luna is quite literally standing mere inches from your door, and if it had opened the opposite way you would have knocked her on her ass when leaving
> after stepping around the blue mare, you blink into the darkness of your living room and fish for the switch on the wall to your left
> in an instant, you're reminded of how your meager and humble abode became the residence of equestria's unpredictable co-ruler 
> your furniture had all been replaced by fancy, top-of-the-line canterlot shit a day after she'd moved in
> although she insisted the impromptu living room makeover hadn't been at her behest, it didn't change the fact that you were now out an entire living and dining room set 
> can't imagine she's going to just leave this expensive shit when she eventually makes her way back to canterlot, after all
> at least she spared your christmas decorations

"So, where is this mysterious 'joke' that bothered you enough to wake me up from that good-ass slumber, Princess?" 
> luna steps out from beside you and trots over to the kitchen, urging you to follow with a swishing of her blue tail 
> crossing into the kitchen from the living room, you flip another switch and are greeted by...
> an incredibly normal looking kitchen

> "There! We were not lying, if you thought we were! Who might have done such a thing? We have been home all day, and have seen no other ponies enter your home." 
> you squint, trying to find whatever the fuck was giving her such a malfunction
> your kitchen was similarly decorated for the holidays, with strings of colorful MAGIC lights tacked up above your cabinets 
> a sidetable lay in the far corner upon which a tiny christmas tree stood
> and there, hanging above the threshold of the door doubling back into the living room, hung luna's plight 

"...The fuckin' mistletoe?" 

> a cherry blush quickly spilled out onto luna's cheeks and she covered her muzzle with a hoof, struggling to meet your stern gaze
> "Have you never heard of the tradition?" 
> you roll your eyes
> what, is she really worried about that?
> a day before, you'd spotted the decorative twig and berries in some store while shopping and had snatched it up on a whim
> it reminded you of some good memories from back home, and would fit right in with the rest of your near-obssessive christmas decorating 
> 'hearth's warming' was the blasphemous mockery of a holiday they celebrated in equestria, but that didn't stop you from letting everyone you came across that it was, indeed, christmastime
> if you were a little heftier, you'd bust out the red suit and beard and give these fuckers a run for their money
> that was neither here nor there, though

"Are you a kid? It's just a decoration. Can I go back to sleep now?" 
> luna shakes her head before she can reasonably argue with you, which leaves her fumbling around for a justification to suit waking you for something so insignificant 

>"W-while it may appear to be merely a... 'decoration,' as you have stated, the sprig of m-mistletoe that hangs above the precipice there presents a number of difficulties in our living arrangements!" 

"I'll remind you that I had no say in these arrangements, and I'll also remind you that you're welcome to leave anytime--I was perfectly happy by myself." 

> luna ignores you, fixating nervously on the plant again
> "What if we were to carelessly waltz through the kitchen right as you were entering, and we happened to find ourselves under the mistletoe... together?" 
> you consider just ripping the thing down and being done with the issues, but a spark of mischief flies behind your annoyed stare
> you cross your arms, mocking a ponderous expression for a moment before shrugging your shoulders

"I guess we'd have to kiss, wouldn't we?" 

> luna's eyes grow as wide as saucers and vigorously shakes her head
> "W-we? W-with... But, we have never even... W-we could not! If our sister were to hear, sh-she would-" 

"It can be our little secret, Luna. Y'know--just between roommates." 
> you tactfully maneuver around luna, who now stood between you and the 'ill-mannered joke'
> she fails to notice your intentions and quickly backs away, allowing you to press your advance on the flustered mare

> "While we appreciate the thought, Anonymous, we do believe that it would be much too great a leap outside the bounds of our arrangement as dwellers of this abode. If we were to enter such an.. such an illicit relationship with the lord of the house, i-it would cast suspicion on our very intentions in selecting you as our sponsor for this stay, and could perhaps l-lead to any and all manner of unsavory rumors..." 
> during her panicked nonsense luna was pushed further into the kitchen and consequently closer to the doorway, upon which hung the dreaded mistletoe
> she was none the wiser, however

"C'mon Luna, I don't think anyone would really care. I mean, it IS tradition, right? It's only natural that something like this would happen around the holidays." 
> with each additional step, you found it more difficult to contain your mounting amusement 
> luna was losing her composure at a rapid pace--her eyes were darting all over the place in an attempt to look anywhere but your direction, and her movements were almost mechanically tense
> she continued to blab on about some other panicked nonsense until you finally stopped approaching her
> she might have looked relieved if it hadn't suddenly dawned on her where the two of you had ended up
> right under the mistletoe 
> you innocently glance up, and she does the same; the mistletoe hangs above you in an almost taunting way

"Oh--would you look at that?"
> luna blinks once, then slowly
> slowly
> slowly brings her eyes back down to meet your own
> you can't immediately tell what she's thinking, but after watching her nervously shuffle around for a few seconds you realize you may have gone too far
> though her bright-red blush remains and she trembles like a leaf, luna softly closes her eyes and leans toward you
> is she... 
> wait
> waitwaitwait
> you might have fucked up
> while you expected a certain amount of awkwardness, much to your pleasure, this was definitely not the intended outcome
> you'd expected luna to realize what you were doing and yank the twig off the door or something
> but you'd underestimated how pure and honest this mare was
> even though there was nothing legally binding that said she had to kiss you, she had nonetheless puckered up and accepted her fate 

> a few seconds had ticked by, and you felt like you could almost hear luna's heart beating out of her big blue chest 
> you couldn't see this ending well at all
> you could just play it off as a joke, of course, but you'd seen how seriously she'd taken the tradition
> this wasn't your first social faux pas in equestria, and you were well aware that tradition was an important thing to ponies 
> who knows what kind of shit this could lead to if you refused 
> not to mention this is a PRINCESS 
> with the clout she holds as co-ruler of equestria, she could have you imprisoned for breaking some old pony law that says you have to kiss under a sprig of mistletoe
> man
> you're a fucking idiot
> hesitantly, you purse your lips and attempt to kiss the mare
>
>
>
> ...and nearly lose your balance after leaning into absolutely nothing
> "HUZZAH! We have finally managed to 'prank' Anonymous, who himself had claimed to be un-prankable! Are you not impressed with our cunning and tact?"
> striking a triumphant pose a short distance away from you, luna grinned smugly in your direction 
> did she just
> she really fucking
> she fucking tricked you
> she woke you up at four in the morning to prank you 

"I'm gonna fucking kill you, Moonie." 
> luna giggles like a schoolgirl and gallops out of the doorway; you chase after her as fast as your tiny two-bedroom cottage allows 

> "You must be faster than that if you ever hope to catch us, Anonymous--you are a thousand years too young to outrun a Princess!" 

"I'm going to give you a thousand year ass-whooping you sleep-thief!" 
>
>
>
> and then, you were both on the floor of the living room
> at some point in your shenanigans you'd tackled the cackling blue mare to the ground after cutting her off at the end of the hallway that led to the laundry room, which had gotten an 'OOF!' out of her 
> the both of you had at least worked up a light sweat running around the house like children, and by the time you'd stopped panting and caught your breath luna was peering up at you inquisitvely 

> "Should we expect this 'thousand year ass-whooping' after you've sufficiently recovered from this light bit of morning galavanting?"
> your eyes narrow but you're too exhausted to retort immediately

"You... are the worst." 
> luna sticks her tongue out at you in defiance 
> 
> "We believe you to be a sore loser, Anonymous; however, we acknowledge your efforts and ability to outmaneuver an alicorn. We shall allow you to punish us however you see fit." 
> this wasn't literal, of course--luna probably wasn't expecting you to break out the belt and give her a few lashes 
> kind of weird that you'd thought of that, actually
> but judging by her playful demeanor, you were guessing that she expected you to just give up and go back to bed 
> not a chance

"Close your eyes."

> surprised, luna held your gaze for a moment and searched for any signs of an ulterior motive
> you were dead serious, however
> the lunar princess meekly complied, displaying a rare bit of humility as she closed her eyes and patiently awaited whatever you were going to do
> from your position straddled overtop of her, you could see the slow rise and fall of her barrel and the twitching of her eyelids as she lay back against the wooden floor
> her wings had spread sometime during your playful jaunt, which had probably slowed her down significantly in retrospect; beneath you, they spread wide just above your knees 
> you took one of luna's naked hooves, which she held demurely beneath her chin, and stroked it
> no strong reaction from her yet
> another hand snaked down to her chest and gave her blue fur a little rub
> one of luna's wings jostled beside you, but she still held her calm and reserved expression 
> you traced a finger up from luna's chest along her slender neck and up to her chin
> at this point, luna let out some kind of muffled noise and that familiar blush crept back onto her muzzle 
> as you passed her chin, your hand grasped the sides of her muzzle and you turned it in your direction 
> you could have sworn luna had opened one eye just a tad to see what you were doing, but she dutifully kept them shut as you continued to tease her
"You're beautiful, Luna--have I ever told you that?" 

> even though her eyes were shut, luna still tried to pry her muzzle away from you at your compliment's prompting to hide the embarrassed trembling of her lips
> she couldn't quite resist the firm grip you held on her, though, and in the moments that followed you brought your face close enough to hers that you could feel her labored breath on your cheeks
> at this point, your noses were touching, and though you couldn't see it you could feel her lips part just slightly as your own approached 
> a few centimeters closer and you'd be kissing her
> unbeknownst to you, this would be luna's first kiss 
> despite her having a thousand years on you, in her own words, luna had never taken a lover 
> in fact, she'd never even held hooves with anyone
> she firmly believed that you would have teased her relentlessly if you'd been aware of that 
> but you weren't, which is why you felt absolutely no shame in standing straight up and releasing the poor mare

"All right, I'm going back to bed. See you tomorrow, Luna--actually, I guess it'd be 'see you today,' since it's morning already." 

> you watch luna pick herself up from the floor, ruffling her feathery wings as she tucked them beside her 
> the expression on her face was a mixture of several unpleasant emotions, and you briefly wondered if you'd gone too far
> "...I believe we are even."
> luna's words put an end to your early-morning goofing, but you couldn't help but feel like you weren't exactly the winner in this scenario 
> leaving you to stand there like a jackass, the princess quietly made her way back to her room 

"Shit."

///

> a wise man once said, "never play with a mare's heart"
> at least, you imagine a wise man once said that
> it might've been you, actually, tackling a situation in which a wise man definitely would not have ended up
> it started with a brief nightmare, which left you clutching at your sheets and struggling to catch your breath in the face of the first few rays of daylight 
> you found yourself in an increasing number of saw-esque situations, each designed to inflict the most pain and damage on your most precious manly apparatuses 
> you shudder and protectively cover your johnson from the cbt demons that had haunted your dreams
> despite there having been no way to prove it, you couldn't help but think that your unfortunate post-slumber experiences had directly resulted from the series of events that had transpired hours earlier between you and your roommate, luna

> mostly over your terror, you slip on your good robe and cautiously peer into the murky morning darkness of your living room
> luna is nowhere to be found, which brings you momentary relief 
> you make your way to the kitchen to abate your dire hunger
> equestria wasn't big on breakfast food, unfortunately, and it had been your immediate short-term goal to explain the wonders of unlicensed toasted oat breakfast circles to any and all that would heed your advice
> pinkie had actually done the honors of reproducing with much skill the cereal you had so craved--and in an impressively short amount of time, you might add
> you flushed the bowl of cereal you'd just poured with a healthy amount of milk--which you tried to imagine had not come from something capable of complex thought and speech--and found a seat in the living room to enjoy yesterday's newspaper

> "We findeth great pleasure in seeing thy chipper mood this pleasant morning, Anonymous." 
> the sudden olden speak cutting through the silent air sends a chill down your spite, and you turn to the blue alicorn that had snuck into the living room while you'd gotten your grub

"Oh, uh... hey. What's with the 'ye olde' stuff?"
 
> luna blinks stoically; she'd splayed herself casually across the sofa, which was by far the largest and most comfortable place to sit in the living room, leaving you with a shitty backless barstool upon which to enjoy your rapidly soggifying breakfast
> "Whatever dost thou mean, Anonymous? 'Tis tradition to address our subjects with a dignity and eloquence befitting Equestrian royalty." 

"Is it also tradition to let your horse-tits hang out in full view of your subjects?"
> luna's eyes bulged in stark contrast to her previous nonchalance and she quickly shifted her hind legs to cover herself
> you hadn't really been looking, but you guessed that she'd been in compromising enough a position to prompt her panicked reaction

> "W-we would advise thee to refrain from gazing upon thy princess with impropriety--historically, ponies hath been executed for lesser offenses." 
> you elected not to give her quip a follow-up; in hindsight, you probably shouldn't have said anything
> your now-soggy pony cheerios found their way to your mouth in relative silence
> luna had long since turned away from you and casually flipped through the pages of a book she'd picked up from... somewhere
> a glance in that direction told you she was apparently leafing through a dictionary
> luna chanced a look up from the book and met your gaze momentarily before quickly flipping through a few more pages and studying the shit out of whatever she was reading
> you awkwardly look away from the spectacle and pick at your cereal

> breakfast in the anon household was typically anything but boring
> luna fancied herself a chef and would regularly attempt to cook things for the both of you
> most of it was garbage, but you didn't have the heart to tell her things like, 'i can't fucking eat hay,' and 'toast isn't supposed to be black'
> the lack of baking sounds and the delighted humming of the usually-upbeat princess only served to enhance the oppressive silence, which was disturbed occasionally by the clanking of dishware and the occasional muttering of luna as she attempted to look as though she were legitimately invested in the fucking dictionary
> this was your doing, of course
> what else could it be?
> maybe you should do something about it

"...Hey, Luna." 
> the mare ignored you, licking her hoof and deliberately flipping another page
> her unskilled action had unfortunately resulted in the page being nearly torn from the spine, and luna grimaced before quickly flipping through a few more pages 
"Luna."
> it appeared that her ears had suddenly decided to start working again; luna peered up from the dictionary, doing her best to appear disinterested 

> "Requireth thee our attention?"

"Look, about last night..." 

> the blue alicorn snapped the dictionary shut and forcefully ejected it from her magical grip
> "Excuse us, Anonymous."
> luna hopped up from the sofa and, with a brief stretch, departed from the living room toward the kitchen
> you assumed she was going to get some food of her own, but it was pretty obvious she was avoiding you
> the empty bowl in your hands your only friend, you sigh and abandon your barstool in favor of chasing after the mare

> "We hath already forgiven thee." 
> you stare, puzzled by her response
> despite her words, luna had clearly NOT forgiven you
> for one, the way she was talking certainly got on your nerves and was not at all what a normal luna would sound like
> she also refused to look you in the eye, opting instead to shovel mouthfuls of cereal into her maw with the biggest spoon in your kitchen
> you must have gotten her in the mood for the stuff
> she sat atop the counter, just beside your kitchen sink and below a row of cabinets, which had likely been flung open in luna's attempt to find something suitable to quell both her rage and appetite; her legs protectively curled into her abdomen, denying you the pleasure of calling her out on more accidental exhibitionism

"Yeah, but I really don't feel like you have--I mean, you won't even look at me!" 
> luna continued noisily munching on her cereal, sparing you not even a single glance
> the licking and chewing of the disrespectful princess was deafening 
> realizing that this was a problem that wouldn't clear itself up, you sighed once more and sat down at the kitchen table, head in your hands
> there was always... THAT
> that despicable, awful thing that made your skin crawl and your hair stand on end
> you were your own man, and no one could tell you what to do
> even the princess had found scant little to maneuver with when she'd negotiated the terms of her stay in your home
> by the very terms to which she and celestia both had agreed, you reserved all power and authority to kick the princess from your home at any point should you feel the need
> as recompense for recommending you as a prime candidate for luna's vacation, twilight offered to hire some sort of pony law expert to help you negotiate the terms of the deal 
> there was apparently some sort of law in place that gave you a bit to work with as far as your rights as a homeowner and keeping the princess in check
> all that said, it was looking more and more like you would have to reel in your pride and call upon the ancient rites man has relied on since time immemorial when placed in such a predicament as this
> to calm the rage of the beast known as woman, there is only one thing a man can do

> you pick yourself up from the kitchen table suddenly; luna briefly looked up from her breakfast--which she had actually finished a while ago--to show her surprise at the sudden action
> making your way back to your room, you fished around for some loose paper and a pen and returned to the kitchen where luna awaited
> you scribbled something quickly on the paper and handed it to the princess, who suspiciously eyed the item for a moment before setting her bowl down on the counter and reading over its contents
>
'This contract hereby awards one PRINCESS LUNA OF EQUESTRIA with full control and reign over the human ANONYMOUS for approximately twenty-four hours from the awarding of this note. To the owner of these privileges goes the right to demand any and all manner of servitude from the aforementioned attendant short of bodily harm or legal repercussions. Please sign here _______ to acknowledge your rights.'
>
> luna seemed to read over the paper a few times, and even flipped it over to inspect the back, before snatching the pen from your outstretched hand with her sparkly blue magic and hastily copying her signature in the blank
> despite your earlier reverence, this was something you'd seen in an anime or tv show long ago and had absolutely no confidence in until luna had immediately played along--much to your utter disbelief 
> practically floating off of the countertop, luna's entire demeanor changed in an instant
> she wore a pleased, almost smug expression, and clopped her way out of the kitchen and to the front door
> "Come along, Anonymous--we have not been this excited in eons!"
> somehow, you had the feeling you were going to regret this about 24 hours from now

> running around town at princess luna's behest was, in short, an absolutely fucking exhausting endeavor 
> it was everything you figured it would be, though your mental preparation for what had come was definitely lacking
> everything luna had you do was a mixture of both mundane and unusual--which suited the princess, really
> clearing out sugarcube corner at your expense? 
> absolutely
> paying a visit to the ponyville zoo, which you had no idea existed, and scaring all of the animals half to death with luna's nightmare manic energy?
> of course
> painting the side of a bridge with a likeness of celestia's admittedly robust rear-end and later getting fined for the defacement of public property?
> you know it
> that last one had been an incredibly awkward conversation between you and mayor mare, the latter of whom had struggled to understand your unique predicament 
> did you tell her that you had offended her co-princess by straddling her and embarrassing her to the point of ignoring you for most of the morning?
> or that you had essentially given yourself as a slave to the lunar mare in compensation? 
> all the while, luna had an innocent smile plastered across her smug-laden muzzle 
> when all was said and done, however, it wasn't the WORST thing in the world
> luna had been rather reserved in her demands, actually, and most of what she'd asked of you would have still seemed reasonable under other circumstances 
> why didn't she just ask you out more often?
> you admire luna's carefree humming and idle swishing of her tail as she trots in front of you while munching on a cupcake 
> you also admire luna's waxing gibbous, which she tosses to-and-fro with an exuberance you'd rarely seen out of her during her stay in your home
> maybe you should start pissing her off more often
> "How much time have we left remaining, Anonymous?" 

> her sing-song voice pulls you from your posterior-oriented musings and you find yourself a few steps away from luna's subdued grin
> her lips are caked with frosting, which you resist the urge to obsessively wipe from her horsey face
> eugh
"I dunno--another ten hours and some change, probably."
> luna closes her eyes in bemusement and resumes walking a head of you, her enthusiasm held for the remainder of the walk back home 

> the rest of luna's demands are surprisingly mild, even compared to the lukewarm advantage she took of your contract earlier in the day
> a hoof massage, to which you reluctantly agreed
> serving her breakfast for dinner, which got your vote of approval considering it was something you'd introduced to her when she first moved in
> she'd asked for you to spoon-feed her at first, but quickly changed her mind
> judging by the cherry hue that had crept onto her snout and your relative nonchalance, it was likely more embarrassing for her than it was humiliating for you
> last was something you didn't expect at all
> luna had been in her thoughts after the meal, which left you pondering what sort of nasty surprise was waiting for you before the long day was over, before speaking up in a reserved tone
> "...Anonymous." 
> you looked over from your position in front of the christmas tree
> you had been rearranging the decorations idly, which was something you often found yourself doing without anything else on your hands 
> decorating for the holidays was one of the only things you gave a shit about--and give a MASSIVE shit about christmas you indeed did

"Hm? What's up?"

> luna cleared her throat; her eyes faltered for just a moment, piquing your curiosity 
> "Come sit with us," she said, which she eventually appended with a, "please"
> suspecting some kind of nefarious prank, you cautiously approached the princess
> it seemed as though she'd completely taken over your couch, which was one a choice resting spot for anonymous after a long day of running the mail around
> your choice of profession was mail delivery
> wasn't much of a choice considering nobody but the goofy-eyed pegasus would hire the two-legged abomination 
> luna moseyed over, leaving you a space on the couch to squeeze in beside her
> when you had settled nice and good, you quirked a brow at her odd behavior--luna still wasn't really looking at you, and seemed to be searching for what to say next
> "Hast thee- Er, excuse us;" luna cleared her throat. "Have you enjoyed being our 'slave' for the day, Anonymous?" 
> you shrug

"Not the worst thing I've had to deal with. You're an unexpectedly reasonable slave driver." 
> despite her awkwardness, luna let slip a womanly giggle behind the protective barrier her hoof had formed over her red-tinged muzzle

> "We are most aware how properly to lord over another, Anonymous--we have only done it our entire life. Didst thou--did you honestly think your misery would please us?"
> another shrug

"Wasn't really thinking at the time. I kinda just panicked and figured you'd get a kick out of telling me what to do for the day." 
> you shrug again and luna lowers her hoof, finally regarding you properly
> her smile is gentle and for a second you forget that she's supposed to be mad at you
> she DID say she forgave you earlier, though, didn't she?

> luna says something, but you have her repeat it--you didn't hear her quite right, after all
> "...Come a little closer, Anonymous." 

> huh
> not one to refuse an order from a princess, you slowly scoot a little closer to the princess
> she's seated on her rump against the arm of the sofa, her forelegs posted between her hind legs near the edge of the sofa
> kinda looks like a cat, actually
> a big, blue, horsey-looking cat
> at this point your leg brushes up against luna's flank and you feel her twitch reflexively 
"Too close?"

> luna quickly shakes her head, eyes staring off in another direction
> you're left to admire luna's flowing mane, which is the only part of her that doesn't seem scared to acknowledge your closeness--it drifts in an invisible wind and tickles your arm
> now's probably as good a time to apologize as ever

"I think I went a little too far last night. Jokes are jokes but doing what I did definitely crossed some line. Look, I understand if that puts a damper on our friendship now and if you want to move out because of it I'd understand. You're always welcome here, though."

> the alicorn turned to face you with surprise 
> "Really? We were under the impression you were simply dealing with our whims. Do you truly enjoy our company?" 

"Yeah, you're one of the better roommates I've had--and I've had a ton of them. If it seems like I'm giving you a hard time, don't take it to heart--that's just the kinda guy I am. Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better roommate."

> luna beams at the compliment, showing you quite possibly the cutest smile you've ever seen 
> heart... hnnggg
> "Truly? And does it bother you to live with a... with a mare?" 
> the princess shoots you an appraising look but you shrug once again

"Really doesn't bother me--why?" 

> "We are aware that certain stallions have- er, would consider us to be 'high-maintenance.' We are not blind to how we have imposed on what many would have considered to be the life of an established bachelor." 

> that got a rise out of you--is that really how it looked to her?
> truth be told, you were just shit at making friends
> from your lonely cottage at the edge of town to your infrequent visits with twilight and her fellow elements, you were convinced that everyone in town considered you a friendless loser

"Trust me, I'd let you know if you were. I mean, tossing my furniture was a little much, yeah, but you're hardly what I'd call high-maintenance. If we're talking relationships, I'm sure any guy would be lucky to wake up beside you every morning."

> maybe it was just your destiny to permanently redding this poor mare's cheeks
> luna once again lost herself behind her dazzling mane of stars, blushing profusely 
> "...Promise us you will not laugh." 

"Promise. What's up?" 

> luna peered out from under her mane, searching your face for the first signs of amusement 
> "We have... never been courted. Thousands of years have passed and not a single stallion has professed to us their love. Our sister, Celestia, has been the recipient of many such propositions--all of which she has turned down, of course--but we alone have remained unsuited for our entire life."
> this throws you for a fucking loop
> luna was by no means an ugly girl-er, mare
> to you, she was just as regal and worthy of admiration as her sister--if not moreso
> you were always a fan of the darker color palette, personally, and the star motif definitely set her apart from the rest
> you also had a hard time believing that luna wouldn't be considered a catch by most of equestria's bachelor stallions
> sure, she could be a little emotional sometimes, and definitely could get on your nerves, but her sweetness shone through most of the time
> to you, that is

> at some point, luna had turned to face you; her forelegs draped over your lap, she was now resting her head on your thighs and gazing up to meet your eyes
> despite being a good deal taller than you and more powerful than you could ever know, the mare had never looked more vulnerable
> under other circumstances, you might have been a little embarrassed
> right now, however, it didn't seem like the right time or place to object to her forwardness

"For what it's worth, I'd pick you over Celestia any day." 
> you mull over what you'd just said, and for the first time in a very long time you feel your cheeks begin to light up
> ...did you really just say that?
> for a second, you think that luna didn't hear you
> after a time, though, she finally speaks up

> "...We have one final request, Anonymous. Would you like to hear?" 

> rising from your lap, luna's eyes level with your own and she stares deep into your eyes; reflected in them is a man with two paths, mere moments away from changing things forever 

"Can I say no?"

> "You cannot."

"Is it going to make things complicated?" 

> "Perhaps."

"...Do you care?" 

> "Not in the slightest."
> luna's soft exhale tickles your lips, and her feathery wings gently unfurl behind her
> you feel your heart thrum loudly in your chest, and suddenly realize that you'd taken one of luna's hooves in your hand at some point
> it was warm, soft, and gently squeezed your palm 

> you blink, and luna kisses you
> luna, the co-ruler of equestria and mistress of the night, kisses the friendless loser that lives on the outskirts of ponyville
> 
>
>
> does this make you a prince? 

///fin