A little tongue in cheek fic created in response to a ywwnly thread.

>"Hey Anon we're back!"
>"Why were we so quick, you ask, darling?"
>"Well, ah reckon that's fer us tah know an' you tah find out, now ain't it?"
>"Oh boy Nonny this is soooo exciting! I call dibs!"
>"Now now, girls, I think you're all getting ahead of yourselves. I still have my reservations about the validity of these claims."
>"Oh my, I think we might be scaring him a bit."
>"Alright, Anon."
>Twilight's magic focuses in around your head
>"I know you're new around here, to say the least, so now is going to be your impromptu orientation."
>she calms herself
>"There's some things you're going to have to learn to fit in, for your own good. Now just answer me honestly so that I can know best how to help you, okay?"
>her nose scrunches up
>"Did you tell Rainbow Dash that you are a virgin?"
"Yes."
>"Are you a virgin?"
"Yes."
>her spell vanishes
>her eyes shoot open
>she stares off into nothing for a few moments before looking to you in utter disbelief
>"Oh my sweet Celestia."
>she then looks back to her friends
>Pinkie's grin looks like it's about to completely wrap around her head
>"I called dibs! Dibs!"
>Pinkie bolts over to you
>Twilight cranes her neck up
>"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE SPIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!"
>the little dragon quickly appears
>"Get ready to write a letter to Celestia. Just write down everything you're about to see, I'll write another one later."
>her horn lights up and you're enveloped in her magic
>you're simultaneously enveloped in another light glow
>Twilight holds you splayed up against the wall as Rarity's magic swiftly works your clothes off
>Pinkie's about to jackhammer a hole clean through the floor
"Uh... what are you guys doing?"
>Applejack shoots you a funny look
>"Well what's it look like we're doin', sugarcube? We sure ain't throwing you a surprise birthday party."
>Pinkie bursts at the mention of such a thing
>"Or are we? Maybe it is Nonny's birthday! That would be the super bestest thing ever, just totally perfect! Is it? Isit?Isit?Isit?Isit?Isit?Isit?Isit?"
"No, Pinkie, it's not my birthday. But if I say it is would you guys let me go as my birthday wish?"
>"Aw... But no. There's no way we could just let you go. Not when you're going to love it so much after you actually try it."
>you wiggle your arms a bit at the magic
>all this does is make your now exposed dick flop about a bit
>"Because what kind of friends would we be if we let you do something like that to yourself? Just refusing something you'll never want to give up just because you weren't willing to live a little?"
>"I don't think we would be, darling."
>"Exactly!"
>upon seeing your exposed bottom half her attention flips like a goldfish
>Fluttershy peers out with wide eyes
>"It's so cute."
"I'd really appreciate it if you guys could let me go before you do whatever it is you're about to do."
>Rainbow Dash facehoofs
>"Oh for... Come on, Anon! Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
>after a few seconds of staring, she continues
>"We. Are. Going. To. Steal. Your. Virginity."
"Who's 'we'?"
>she rolls her eyes and concedes defeat
>"Darling, I understand that you are, for obvious—and perfectly understandable (albeit woefully in need of correcting)—reasons less than knowledgeable in romantic matters, but to suggest that you don't even know what 'we' means is simply absurd."
>Pinkie then suddenly takes you into her mouth
>you quickly grow to full mast
>Fluttershy ducks back behind one of her friends
>"Eep! I don't like it anymore. It's too big and scary."
>"Oh come on Fluttershy, that thing's tiny! How can you be scared of something that's not even as big as your leg?"
>both Spike and Twilight are madly scribbling away on a scroll and notepad respectively
>Pinkie twirls herself around in a pink tornado before stopping with her rear end perfectly aligned with you
"Sorry, Pinkie, but I'm just not really attracted to-"
>in the very next instant she's impaled herself on you, shockwaves rippling throughout her ass as it collides with your pelvis
>your jaw hangs limp, your eyes nearly cross
>you can feel every square millimeter of your dick being played with, squeezed, felt, loved, everything and more at once by the warm walls around you
>and then she pulls herself off of you, only the smallest portion of your top still being inside of her, and slams herself back down
>you twitch inside of the magical grip around you
>she does it again
>every woman you've ever seen flashes into your mind, and then all at once they vanish
>what's left in their place is mares
>only mares for as far as you can think
>try as you might, you can't will the image of a woman into your mind no matter how many attempts you make
>for just a moment you wonder if women themselves were just a figment of your imagination, if humans were a male-only species, if men were built and crafted for mares
>well, at least one of those is true
>but with Pinkie continuing to absolutely destroy you and your eyes starting to roll back into your head you can't say for certain which one it is that's true
>as Dash's mouth also hangs open your tongue now lolls out of yours
>soon Pinkie's assault overwhelms you
>not just with brute force, but with simultaneous surgical precision at every step of the way
>your mind simply... explodes
>Pinkie pins you against the wall with all her might, burying every last inch of you and then some inside of her
>afterwards you just go limp
>as Pinkie finally unlatches herself from you the magical grip on you gently sets you down on a nearby couch
>"Two minutes even. So much for your human stamina, Anonymous. I guess you were lying to me before when you said twenty. Though I guess I should've asked that when I had the chance. Anyways... Anon?
>you lay there motionless on the bench, eyes in the back of your head, drool spilling out, as she nudges you
>"Pinkie, you broke him!"
>Pinkie just dumbly giggles
>"Argh, fine. Fluttershy, help me with Anon. The rest of you can go do something for a few hours while we fix him."
>"But ah thought yew said-"
>"It still counts as long as it's on the same day."
>the other three dejectedly leave with one very giggly and bubbly pink pony in tow
>Twilight magically picks you up and begins walking upstairs with you
>"Though I've gotta say, two minutes as a baseline, with no stamina magic? I'm definitely interested to see how far you can go."
>Fluttershy sighs as she follows Twilight to the second floor
>"I knew I should've been the one to do it. He needed the soft touch of some well-honed maternal instincts."
>"Fluttershy, you were just going to sit there and let him do whatever he wanted."
>"Well yes, but that's what he needed, to do it at his own pace."
>"He wouldn't have done anything. Don't you know that they just never know what they want? Even the experienced ones need someone else to tell them what they want."
>"But, but look at him..."
>"Oh I'm looking at him alright."
>Fluttershy glares at her
>"Yeah, okay, so what if he wasn't able to fully handle it? I think that you're the one who needs to look at him. He clearly just had the best time of his entire life. Besides, now when he gets to you he'll be begging you to do everything you could imagine with him."
>"B-bu-"
>"Hay, maybe you could even get him to call you mommy."
>Fluttershy freezes in place and audibly gulps, her face going beet red
>after blinking a few times she shakes her head and continues following Twilight
>Twilight lays you down on the bed and grabs some supplies
>the two soon get to work caring for you
>they also both steal occasional licks of your sweaty body while hoping the other doesn't notice
>soon enough you're back in working order
>Twilight leaves Fluttershy to go get the rest of the gang
>as you regain your mental faculties you see Fluttershy sitting next to you, gently stroking your head with her hoof
>she shushes you as you look up to her
>"It's alright sweetie. Mommy's here for you. There there, you've got nothing to be afraid of now."
"Mommy?"
>her breath catches
>she nearly falls onto you
>you can swear a pipe just sprang a leak somewhere
>"Yes, yes, I'm right here, your mommy's right here."
"I'm not calling you that."
>it's like you can visibly see and physically feel the words echo through her mind
>then glass shatters
>she looks to you with her hollow eyes
>soon enough they're full
>full of tears
>she clenches her eyes shut and sprints away
>only after she gets out of sight do you hear her begin bawling like no one ever has
>just as you sit up in the bed you're face to face with one extremely angry totally-not-a-lesbian
>"Anon! What did you just do to her?"
>Rainbow Dash shoves you back onto the bed
>before you can even put your hands up in front of you she's standing right over you, sneering at you from inches away
>"Don't think that just because you're not a virgin anymore that it means you can just go doing whatever you want to My friends!"
"Woah, chill out, alright?"
>"Chill out? You've got some explaining And apologizing to do."
"All I said was that I wouldn't call her mommy, alright? Geez, now would you at least get off of me?"
>she stares at you for a second longer before standing upright
>"BAHAHAHAHA!"
>she falls over right next to you while still busting her gut
>"That's it? You two really had me going there for a second."
>just as she finishes, Twilight rushes up
>"Anon!"
>"That was very rude of you, Anon. You really hurt Fluttershy's feelings."
"She wanted me to call her mommy."
>"I know."
"That's just weird."
>"Too bad. You need to be more considerate of others."
>Rainbow Dash finally gets up from the bed
>"He's got a point, Twilight, that is pretty freaky."
>"You too!?"
>Twilight shakes her head
>"How would you feel if Anon did something like that to do? Imagine if Anon called the Wonderbolts lame and said you were lame for liking them."
>"Ha, as if! Besides, even if he did say that I'd just make him admit that they're cool."
>"You aren't getting the point."
>Dash looks back to you
>"You do think the Wonderbolts are cool, right?"
>you just shrug at her
>she looks concerned, but doesn't press any farther
>"Aha!" Twilight suddenly shouts
>"What if he tells you he won't buck you in a Wonderbolts uniform? What then?"
>"Then I'd just make him. Easy."
>"Argh! And what if you couldn't?"
>"I can," Rainbow Dash, says smugly
>"But what if?"
>"Well then I'd... I-"
>her face scrunches up
>she turns to you
>"Anon that was really lame. I'm gonna bring her back up here, and when I do you're gonna call her mommy, got it?"
"But I-"
>before you can finish, she bolts out for Fluttershy
>Twilight sighs
>"I hope you're willing to at least try getting along."
"What, you want me to, to basically roleplay with her?"
>"Yes, Anon. Is that really so much to ask?"
"Yes. I didn't sign up for any of this. And why didn't I have to do some weird roleplay stuff with Pinkie?"
>"Because Pinkie's Pinkie. She wanted to help you get adjusted quickly and give you a nice welcoming party so she didn't make you do anything with her. That's the kind of mare Pinkie is."
"What, she fucks every new guy who wanders into town?"
>"No! Anon, at this point I'm starting to think you're just being deliberately difficult."
>before you can respond, Rainbow Dash flies in with Fluttershy in tow
>she puts her down right in front of you
>Fluttershy looks up to you with puppy dog eyes and a tiny smile on her face
>Rainbow butts in
>"Well? What are you waiting for?"
"Fine. But not while you two are in here."
>"Oh no, you're gonna call her-"
>Twilight puts a hoof over Rainbow and motions for the two of them to leave
>"But-"
>"Just let them have their space."
>after a few seconds she concedes
>"Alright, but if she comes crying again you're gonna get it. Got it?"
>with that, they leave you and Fluttershy alone
>"Could you lay down for mommy? If you don't mind, that is."
>you lay back down on the bed and roll your eyes
"Yes, mommy."
>she squeaks at that and rubs a hoof on your stomach
>"Thank you for being such a good boy for mommy, honey."
>she crawls up onto the bed and lays down next to you
>wrapping your head in her hooves, she pulls your face into her chest
>"Mommy loves you so much, dear."
>she pulls your head back just a few inches
"I love you too, mommy."
>you feel something splatter onto your leg
>"Don't worry, your mommy's gonna take care of you, honey."
>"Shh... Just let mommy worry about it."
>she lets go of your head and looks down at you
>you nod and she gets up
>she positions herself atop you and stares down into you
>gently bringing herself to resting on you, she begins rubbing herself with your dick
>she quivers with each little movement she makes
>feeling awkward from just staring at her, you look off to some other part of the room to distract yourself
>or rather, you try to
>as soon as you turn your head she takes your chin by her hoof and makes you look back at her
>"No no no, dearie, you need to look at mommy, okay?"
>you just nod at her
>"Good. Mommy just needs to be able to see how you're feeling. Just keep looking at mommy, alright sweetie?"
>by the time she's done correcting you, you've gotten hard
>"Okay honey, just listen to mommy. This next part might be a bit scary at first, but if you listen to mommy she'll make sure everything goes well."
>she's practically trembling now
>that doesn't stop her from aligning the two of you almost instinctually
>she moans the whole way down as she slowly lowers herself onto you
>you decide to just let her do her work
>and work she does
>she places her hooves on your shoulders, still maintaining unbroken eye contact the whole time
>as soon as she takes your whole length, she begins slowly and sensually bobbing up and down on you
>"If it gets too scary just tell mommy and she'll slow down, okay sweetie?"
>she continues drenching you in herself as she rides you, also gradually moving her face closer to yours
>"Mommy can feel you getting close. Don't worry, this next part is going to be the best one. Make sure you give mommy All of your love."
>pressing her muzzle to your face, she starts moaning into your mouth
>"Yes, yes!"
>soon you are pushed past your limit
>you wrap your arms around her
"Y-yes, mommy, I-"
>you erupt into her, being careful to not break eye contact
"I love you, mommy."
>with that, she breaks
>her back arches and her head points to the sky
>she moans loud enough for half the town to hear
>eventually she collapses onto you
>the two of you lay there for several minutes
>after some time the silence is broken by a few ponies entering
>"Well ah'll be, yer a natural at this, Anon!"
>Twilight walks in behind her, blushing
>"Sorry, Fluttershy, but Anon does need to get moving so that he can get to the rest of us."
>despite that meaning you two won't be able to rest together any longer, Fluttershy surprisingly doesn't look disappointed or sad
>she gives you a kiss on the forehead before getting up
>"Well? Go on. Go make your mommy proud."
"Uhh..."
>"Alrighty, ya'll just follow me now and we'll be gettin' this done in no time flat."
>quick learner that you are, you decide to just go along with her
>Fluttershy gives you a light tap on the ass as you leave
>she wipes a tear from her eye with a hoof
>"They grow up so fast..."
>the others watch you as you walk through the library behind Applejack
>Rainbow Dash throws her hooves out
>"What the hay!? I thought it was my turn with him?"
>Twilight puts a hoof on Rainbow's withers
>"Ugh, fine."
>Applejack lets out a little chuckle as you follow her out
>"Don't you worry, I'll get him back still in workin' order fer ya."
>Dash just sighs as they watch the two of you leave
>"Now..."
>she starts into a trot
>you begin powerwalking to keep pace
>thankfully she leads you around the edge of town rather than straight through it
>as she turns away from town altogether she picks up a canter
>you start jogging behind her, watching her mane, tale, and hat bob up and down as she goes
>Ponyville starts fading off into the horizon behind you
>while you're distracted, Applejack breaks into a full on gallop
>you notice just in time to start sprinting and not get left completely in the dust
>despite the intense workout you're getting, you can't help but watch her mane and tail flow in the wind behind her
>and with her tail straight back you get almost a full view of her hindquarters
>even ignoring the obvious, her flank is damn impressive
>at this point you're getting serious tunnel vision for multiple reasons, but you just opt to ignore that
>the muscles of her backside all working in unison to produce a pair of immensely powerful legs with an exceptional gait
>before you can even react she's stopped on a dime
>you go shooting past her, taking who knows how many yards to slow yourself to a stop
>once you do, however, all that sprinting hits you like a damn freight train
>you only manage to avoid completely collapsing thanks to propping yourself up against a tree
>Applejack walks up beside you and whistles
>"Hoowee, I sure wasn't expecting that. Gotta say, I'm rightly impressed with ya, 'Non."
>lungs still on fire and that little place on the side of your stomach still trying to collapse in on itself, you neglect to respond
>you just give her a thumbs up, which she seems to take as... something
>probably an invitation
>she walks up to you and, after a moment of looking you over, takes a lick from your side
>it barely registers to you for several moments, but does somehow ease the pain a tiny bit
>after savoring the taste she audibly gulps before continuing to stare at you with half-lidded eyes
>"Mmm..."
>"Well yer just a right salt lick there, sugarcube. Salty and sweet."
>she takes another longer drag from you
>"I could use this. Gonna have to put that off 'til later though."
>she spins you around and pins you to the tree with her hooves
>"Right now I got more important business to worry 'bout."
>she turns herself around and lifts her tail
>thinking back to her strength, you can't help but worry about whether or not you will be in working order by the end of this
>apparently seeing the concern on your face, she speaks
>"I know what I'm doing."
>she bucks the tree behind you, her hooves grazing the tiny hairs on either side of your torso
>you didn't even know you had hair there
"Ouch."
>an apple ricochets off your head and then ricochets again off of Applejack's ass
>her tail brushes against your chest as she begins backing up into you
>without even looking she guides your dick straight into her
>and with just your head inside you can already attest to her capabilities
>if Pinkie was surgical, Applejack is straight up nanoengineering
>but of course, it never stops at "just the tip"
>with each inch that gets buried inside of her the sensory overload only becomes exponentially more extreme
>by the time you're hilted, your mind is blank
>you can't think, only act
>you grab Applejack and start thrusting in tandem with her
>it's like every single strand of DNA throughout every last cell in every piece of your body has been completely reprogrammed
>at this moment your entire being exists for one singular purpose: breed Applejack
>and so you rut her
>you rut her like your life depends on it
>with her tail in your face her scents flood through your body
>as though a switch has been flipped, you break
>you glaze her apples with your sugar
>you give her all of yourself and then some
>that may or may not be in part due to how she can very deliberately coax every last drop out of you
>with yourself spent, you collapse behind her, laying against the tree
>this also puts you face to face with her flank
>as you watch her powerful winks, you also notice something else
>or rather, the lack of something else
>not even the tiniest drop of your semen
>aside from her own juices, it looks completely clean
>as you look to her face, you see it scrunched
>her expression wiggles about a bit as she continues winking
>after a few moments it instantly changes to satisfaction
>"Aha, there we go. Finally got that last bit."
"What?"
>"Just had to get that last little bit inside. Couldn't let any go to waste of course."
"But there wasn't any there at all."
>she gives you a sly, smug grin
>your mind stalls for several moments before you come up with a possible answer
>your eyes go wide
"No..."
>"Mhmm."
"Wow."
>you don't even know what to say
>what can you say
>that kind of control isn't even something you can comprehend
>"Well, we better get goin'. Don't want you bein' late for anypony else."
>her face sours for a moment
>"And definitely not her. Wouldn't hear the end of her whining."
>she shakes her head
>"Alright, hop on."
"What?"
>does she really mean?
>your question is answered as she pulls you up onto her as best she can
>you adjust yourself to actually be sitting on her rather than just draped over her
>after you grab hold of her as best you can she begins trotting away
>out of the corner of your eye you notice something red behind a tree
>and a wet puddle off to the side of it
>your focus is brought back to Applejack as she picks up the pace
>soon you're back into town, but surprisingly not headed toward the library
>instead she pulls up alongside a very colorful round building
>it certainly stands out from the other normal abodes of Ponyville