>Dog days of summer in Equestria
>Be Anon, out in the garden tending to your tomatoes
>Truthfully, the whole garden is just tomatoes
>For some reason Twilight thought they'd "help curb your lust for meat"
AND THEY NEVER WILL!
>you yell at Fluttershy
>You think. She hasn't bothered you for the past few days, but you can never be too safe
>You prune back a few of the lower leaves, pluck off any fruits eaten by bugs, tossing them in a wheelbarrow for composting
>Lucky for you, there's about four big, beefy, round orbs of deliciousness ripe for picking
>Which you do, taking them inside for lunch
Let me just set you down here a moment, my big delecta-balls
>You say as you set the tomatoes on the counter, hoping there was no one in earshot to hear how retarded you are
>A hope which was dashed immediately by your front door being broken through
"D-did you say 'delectable scrotum', Anon?""
>And unsurprisingly, by none other than the yellow wonder herself
You know damn well I didn't, horse.
>You watch her as she slowly approach the wall at a snail's pace
>Incredibly, while she had the strength to ram her head through 4 inches of solid mahogany, she lacked the momentum to follow through
>After a moment her snout slowly, lightly, connects with the wall
>"Ouch"
>With a sigh, you go over and help remove her from the door
>"S-so, no d-d-d-electable scrotum?"
"N-not today," you grunt as you pull her free, "and not ever."
>You both stare at each other
You know you're going to pay for the door, right?
>"Yes."
>She kicks a splinter with her hoof
>"C-can I-"
>You sigh, rubbing your temples
You may have one.
>Fluttering her wings giddily, she prances over to the counter and grabs a tomato, and then leaves through the kitchen door
>You close your broken door as best you can, before returning to the kitchen
>You grab a large tomato, slice it, season it, and make a tomato sandwich
>As you eat, you try to ignore the painful bulge in your pants
>It was a "help me step-bro I'm stuck" type of day