Originally Published March 12th, 2018

>Wednesday in Equestria
>Be Anonymous
>Tuesday passed uneventfully; You took Mr. Bear on his fishing trip, and Fluttershy went to hang with Rarity at the spa
>It was a good day on the whole
>And on the hole as well, as today marked day three-sixty...
>Three-seventy?
>A whole year plus without being raped or having your fetish guessed!
>Aside from that New Year's party where Caramel thought you were his wife
>Though that was less rape and more vigorous, nonconsensual hotdogging.
>But hey, at least you got a free hat out of it!
>A hat which is now currently on your head, shielding your eyes from the sun as you and Spike clamber over rocks on the way to your destination
>Also with the two of you in the Ponyville Badlands today is a cowboy hat
>A cowboy hat which rests on the head of Applejack, who is decidedly not pleased to be here
>She's a nice orange horse, with an honest streak a mile wide and a kick like...well, like a horse
>"Ah am not happy that you lied to me, Anonymous."
>Ooph
>She only used your full name when she was really upset
1/

Well, you wouldn't have come out here otherwise!
>She continues walking, staring straight ahead
Plus, how was I supposed to know "Walking Delicious" was a real kind of apple?
>Still no response
>If anything, she seems to be trying to put more distance between the two of you
>Damn, gotta break out the big guns
>You haven't had to say this to anyone in ages
>At least not since that time Caramel tried to butt-fuck you on New Years
>no homo
I'm sorry.
>She stops
>You and Spike stop as well
>Maybe you aren't as dead as you thought
>"Sorry for what?", A.J. asks, still looking forward
>Damn this obstinate mare
I'm sorry for lying to you so that you'd come hiking with me and Spike. But Spike held me at gunpoint and I had no other options.
>Spike nods sagely
>"Yeah Applejack, he's right...wait what do you mean by gunpoint?! I've never even held a gun!"
>A quiet chuckle cuts through Spike's claims of innocence
>"heh, you can be a real pain sometimes Anon, ya know that?."
2/

>Wew, back on nickname basis
>AJ turns around, a small smile on her face
>"Asides, I needed a reason to get away from the farm anyhow. Granny was having one of her 'Oh Aypplejack, when're yoo gonna find a nice stallion to settle down with and give me some great-grandbabies?" fits, and-wait a second..."
>She stops talking, and her eyes narrow to slits
>A lone tumbleweed rolls through the space between you and A.J.
>You can feel her gaze boring its way into you
>"Did she pay you to take me out here today?"
>Her voiced dripped with venom, and her ears  sucked against her head
>You can almost feel your blood freeze in your veins
Hhhh.
>You're still trying to guage the sudden tone shift, and are too frozen to reply
>She slowly, glacialy, turns her gaze on Spike
>"N-n-no? N-nobody paid us. I don't even get paid by T-twilight half the time. Or the c-comedy club."
>Her gaze stays on him a moment, wringing sweat from his being
>And then she softens again
>"Good! For a minute there I was worried Granny forgot what happened when she tried that last time. And y'all couldn't handle a mare like me anyhow.", she adds with a wink
>...
...last time?
>She lets out a hearty chuckle and starts to walk again
>"Don't you worry your purty head about it none. Now, I reckon that you wouldn't lie to somepony just to go on a hike, so why are we really out here?"
3/

>You and Spike follow after her, quickly catching up to keep pace
>If ever there was a mare who could cut through bullshit, it was AJ
>Well, you were gonna have to tell her eventually
>You swallow your nerves with a gulp.
We're looking for Pinkie.
>Applejack's smile turns into a look of disappointment and pity
>"Anon, it's been over a year."
I know.
>She sighs and pulls her hat down a bit
>"I know how close you two were and all..."
>She struggles on the words, trying to balance keeping the situation calm and saying what needs to be said
>"And I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about, but you have to face facts here. She's-"
>Spike taps her on the shoulder
>"Applejack?"
>AJ shoos him off
>"Spike, hush. Anon needs to hear this."
>He taps her again
>"Applejack...it was my idea to come out here today."
>She stares at him, confused
>Noticing this, he shrugs off his pack and starts digging inside
>"It's...it's just all been weird for me lately. With, well, you know."
>He pulls a gold necklace out of his bag, set with a light-pink gem shaped like a heart
>The Element of Laughter
>"Oh, oh my stars I-"
>AJ's voice hitches in her throat
>You can see tears stream down her face
>And without another word, she draws him in for a hug
>What a softie
>Just giving people warm, fluffy hugs
>Not even asking if you want one
>What a faggot
Can I get a hug too?
>"Oh hush up. Yer a a grown up, ain'tcha? You don't need one. And I ain't crying. It's...uhhh rain."
Suuure.
>You look up
>Oh shit there actually are rainclouds
Damnit, Applehorse!
>You pick the two of them up and head for higher ground
4/

>Be Spike
>Supposed Bearer of The Element of Laughter
>Yes, THAT Element of Laughter
>It's been a pretty eventful year for you, this last week especially
>And that's putting it lightly
>You, Anon, and Applejack are sitting under a tree, waiting for the rain to pass
>The only sound you hear is the rain smacking into the dry ground 
>No one's talked for a while now
>You want to say something, but you're kind of afraid of what will follow
>Sure, Applejack seemed understanding earlier
>She even hugged you, and she's not the kind of pony to be physical in that regard
>She usually just does hoofbumps and hat-tips
>But at the back of your mind, you can feel a nagging sensation
>That she'll get beyond offended at you
>That she'll stop being your friend
>Maybe even worse
>The rain is still smacking down outside
>Anon is sitting between the two of you, drumming his fingers on his knees
>The quiet is making him uncomfortable, you can tell, but it's better than the alternative
>"Sooo. I guess now's as good a time as any, right Spike?"
>Oh horseapples
Y-yeah. I guess.
5/

So, where do I start?
>At the beginning, probably
>Yes, that's a good idea
>All you need to do is speak
>"Why didn't you tell us sooner, Spike?"
>Applejack is looking at you, her eyes filled with...pity? Sympathy?
>It makes you uneasy
I don't know, Applejack.
>You let out a sigh
One of our friends goes missing, and the other died in a blood-filled explosion. I don't why I didn't tell you earlier.
>AJ winces
>The sarcasm only registers with you after the words leave your mouth
>Anon smacks your shoulder
>"C'mon man, ease up."
>You messed up
>Twilight was right about you needing to stop being sarcastic all the time
Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that.
But that is part of it.
>You start fiddling with your claws
Pinkie had been gone for a few weeks when the Element chose me. You remember that, right?
>"Of course Ah do", she nods
You all seemed so happy for me, or at least you, Anon, and Fluttershy did.
>Rainbow brushed it off with her usual careless attitude
>Rarity seemed conflicted about it all
>And Twilight was threatening to blast Discord into Tartarus for 'messing with the elements'
I was happy too. I mean, being the first dragon to be an Element Bearer? Who wouldn't be happy?
>You lock your claws together
But when I thought about it, I just couldn't make sense of it. "Why me? Why not Cheese Sandwich? or Trixie? Or anyone else really."
6/

>Applejack perks her ears up at this
>"Ah thought Discord had something to with that."
Well, not really.
>She wasn't wrong.
>If it wasn't for Discord, you wouldn't have even thought of going where the Elements were stored.
>But he didn't force you to go there.
I didn't even think anything would happen, but then everything just started glowing....
>You stretch your arms out to really make your point
...And now I'm stuck with an Element I'm not even sure I deserve.
>A wet trail snakes its way down your cheek
>C'mon Spike, don't start crying in front of your friends
I mean, when has anypony we know ever laughed at my jokes?
>Anon waves his hand
>"Oh come on Spike, lots of ponies think you're funny."
>"Ah don't know Anon, Ah find his 'jokes' a tad more grating than funny most times."
>Anon raises a finger to make a point
>But then he makes a fist and rests his chin on it
>Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence there Applejack
But that's eaxactly what I mean! Ponies don't find me funny like they did Pinkie.
>You take y- Pinkie's Element from your bag again and rest a claw on the gem
And that's why we're here. Anon said he saw Pinkie head off this way when she disappeared.
And during one of Fluttershy's sessions a last week, I overheard Twilight talk about how the Elements had connections to their previous owners. So I was hoping we might use it to track her.
>"If she's still alive, ya mean."
>The Element pokes into your hand as your grip tightens around it
Y-yeah.
7/

>Be Anon
>The rain has finally stopped coming down
>The three of you step carefully out onto the damp earth
>The clouds are still out, but the sun is poking through them in that special way that makes the clouds seem bright as hell
>It's giving you a pretty nice headache
>You readjust your cap to give your eyes some relief
>Applejack and Spike are still chatting a bit
>"So say if I got lost somewhere, you could use my Element to track me down?"
>"Yup. Twilight said it's supposed to flash or something, but I'm not sure exactly."
>"You do know it's been over a year since we've seen her last, right sugarcube?"
>You decide to step in
Pinkie was pretty well known in the entertainer's circles, so I think we'd have heard something by now if she was dead.
>"We would have heard something if she were alive, too."
>The mood falls again
>Fucking Applejack
>She does have a point though
Well, that's kinda why we asked you along, AJ.
>"Because Ah'd know if she were alive?"
Actually we were hoping you'd bring Winona along too.
>"But hey, you hang around her so much maybe her tracking abilities rubbed off on you!"
>AJ cocks an eybrow at Spike
>"You know, since pets resemble their owners and all?"
Hehe.
>She rolls her eyes
>"Yeah, 'har-de-har' fellas."
>She readjusts her hat
>"But, since Ah'm out here anyways, we might as well take a look around, Ah guess."
>"Where'd you want to start?"
8/

>You look around the badlands
>Desert on the left of you
>Mountains to the right
Stuck in the middle with you....
>"What?"
...Nothing. Let's start with those mountains!
>You really don't know where the fuck you should start, but you're hoping your enthusiasm will mask some of that.
>"Yeah! To the mountains!"
>"YEEEEHAW!"
>Spike and AJ run off ahead of you
>Trails of mud and dust trail them as they go
>Thank goodness
>Wait
HEY WAIT FOR ME, JERKS!
>You run off after your friends, slipping every few steps as you go
-
WHEEEEEEEEZE....
>You made it to the mountains
>Barely. You feel like your sides are about to split and your feet are on fire
>Spike looks no better off than you
>"WHEEEEEEEEEZE...."
>But Applejack somehow still has the stamina to hop around
>"WHOOO-EE! Y'all ready to climb this hill?
NO.
>"NO."
>After a few moments, you finally have your breath back
>Mostly
>A muddy hoof drapes along your back, and it feels like a ton of bricks
>"C'mon Anon, yer not goin' soft on me are ya?"
>You vainly try to shake it off
Not all of us got to-huff-to build unnatural endurance on a farm, AJ.
>The weight lifts off of you like a graceful orange angel
>"Oh you know Ah'm just teasin'. It sure is a purty view out here though."
>You peel you eyes from the dirt, putting an arm around AJ for balance
>Spike is laying in the mud, face towards the sky
>Little wheezes come and go in-between mumbles of "ohcelestiamylegs"
Yeah, some view, AJ.
>"Past the dragon, smart-aleck."
>Beyond the purple spot in the mud, there's a beautiful, deep blue lake
>Sunlight is glinting off the water in white, green and occasionally pink flashes
>Seeing it fills you with renewed strength
Who's ready to climb that hill?!
9/

>The wind rushes around you as you soar through the sky
>Your suit's wings flutter faintly in the wind 
>Goggles shield your eyes from the stinging breeze
>A smile forms on your face as the building comes speeding into view
>You twitch your hoof, and the wings collapse along your legs
-CRASH-
KITE MARE!
>BWEEEORP. The building's security alarm blares around you
>You punch the nearest stallion, taking full advantage of your momentum
>BWEEEORP
>Still racing from your landing, you grab the necklace from what you assume is his wife
HELL YEAH!
>You holler as you dive through the next window
>BWEEEORP
mmmeh...
>BWEEEORP
Fiive more minutes...
>"STARLIGHT! THE LABWEEEORP!"
It's probably just Trixie again, Twilight!
>"WE CAN'T BE TO SURE OF THATBWEEEORP."
Fiiine.
>You gingerly set your napping kite down and race to the lab
>Be Starlight Glimmer
>BWEEEORP
>You start to work on the magic lock the way Twilight showed you
>Apparently she used to use a key, but she changed the locks a while ago
>With mana flowing into all the channels of the lock, you say the incantation
Princess Twilight is best pony...
>The tumblers click into place and the door creaks open
10/

>The lab is dark, faintly light from overhead by violet orbs
>Or it would be, normally
>Right now the orbs are flashing red and white, filling the lab with light
Hello? Trixie?
>Your echo comes back in response
Hmmm...
>You reach out to the orbs with your magic, cancelling the alarm
>You adjust the lights to be solid white, and begin to walk the lab
>Twilight hadn't used this lab in ages, and everything was covered in a decent layer of dust
>Empty cabinets the far right wall, their doors barely reflecting you as you go past
>A series of pens takes up the middle of the room
>A small pile of light pink and yellow hair is swept into the closest pen
>The only noise being the steady -clip clop- of your hooves as you walk along
>Truth be told, it makes you a bit nervous
>That is, till you notice the faint smokey scent hanging in the air
>You let out a sigh of relief
Trixie, you know what Twilight said about practicing your fireworks displays in this lab!
>You hear Trixie move behind a lab-table to your right
>Turning, you can just see a book as it finishes sliding off the dusty tabletop
>You chuckle
C'mon Trix, she won't be as upset this time, promise! There's no need to hold her lab equipment hostage.
>You playfully exaggerate your strides as you tiptoe towards Trixie's table
I'll get you your favorite spiced nuts!
11/

>Be Spike
>The hike was...less than successful
>Anon managed to slide halfway down the mountain
>Applejack's nose got plugged up from allergies to a flower
>And your Element didn't react to anything at all
>So yeah, pretty good day on the whole
>Anon is sleeping, draped over AJ's back
>And the three of you have been walking in silence since getting back into town
>At least Anon has an excuse though
>You still feel weird talking about the Elements with AJ, which isn't as good of an excuse as being asleep is
>Thankfully, the Castle is quickly coming into view
>And this trainwreck of a day can finally come to an end
>"So, Spike."
>Oh no
>Your heart rate goes up a bit, and you feel a lump in your throat
>"D'you remember the first time Discord got beaten?"
>Oookay then
Uh, sure I guess. Who could forget?
>"Did ya know Fluttershy was abusing Anon back then too?"
What?
>Where the heck is she going with this?
>"Yup. Apparently since the very first day he came here, much as it pains me to think about. And yet, she was still using her Element no problem. Shoot, Ah bet she still could have used it right up till the day she died."
>Criminy...this story got dark quick
>"What I'm tryin to say is that the Element of Laughter chose you for a reason."
>"So stop yer worryin'."
I, uh...
>Applejack has a small smile on her face
>You scan for any hidden emotions, but you can only see honesty and care
Th-thanks, AJ.
>"Any time, sugarcube. Now if you'll excuse me, Ah need to drop this one off at Fluttershy's. G'night."
>She shakes her shoulders a bit, making Anon rock slightly on her back
>And then takes off into the night
Good night.
>You wipe your feet on the mat and step inside
>A crackling voice sounds off by your ear
>"SPIKE!"
GAH! 
>The speaker in the wall lets out a slight hiss as it switches to receiver mode
Twilight, I thought I asked you to stop doing that right when I walk in!
>The P.A. system crackles back
>"DID YOU? I WASN'T LISTENING. ANYWAY, I NEED YOU TO HEAD TO THE H-LAB AND CHECK ON GLIMMER. THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW THOROUGH A MARE CAN BE, YOU KNOW!"
>The P.A. hisses as it shuts off
Never thought I'd hear the day she'd say that.
12/

>The room looked loud and sounded fuzzy
>Your sight started at pink, then black and white, and then shifted to color
>There were two purple blobs, and one blue blob around you
>You tried to rub the back of your head, but were stopped by a pillow
Wha...
>The blobs sprung into motion and began talking excitedly
>"Oh thank heavens she's awake!"
>"How about thanking me? I'm the one who found her."
>"Yes, but Trixie is the one who has extensive experience aiding ponies who pass out at her shows!"
>"Yeah, I'd nod off too during your "Disappearing Rabbit" trick."
>"ILLUSIONS! And they pass out from excitement!"
>You put your hooves out to try and shush the two blobs
>They take form as your hooves get closer to them
Spike? Trixie? Princess Twilight? What happened? Where am I?
>You are Starlight Glimmer
>You try to get up, but the tingling sensation of magic gently eases you back down
>"Easy, Starlight. Here, drink."
>A cup of water floats over to you, and you take a sip from the bendy straw inside
>Looking around, you see you're inside the sitting room of the castle
>Your friends all wear worried looks
>Spike has his Element on as well.
>"We found you down in the lab. The cabinets tipped over onto you and knocked you unconscious."
>A brief flare of pain surges across your head
Cabinets?
>Twilight nods
>"I'm so sorry, Starlight. I wouldn't have sent you down there if I knew it had become that unstable."
>Trixie's hooves and Twilight's wings carefully wrap around you in a hug
>Unable to get in on the hug, Spike gives your hoof a small pat
Spike? I thought you went hiking this morning.
>"Just got back, actually. We kinda got lost and decided to come back since it was getting dark."
>He taps his Element at the word "lost"
Oh. Ohhh. I'm s-dark? It was barely noon when I-
>Oh wow you have been out for a while
13/

>Twilight releases her hold on you, but Trixie stays wrapped around your barrel
>A faint snoring noise lets you know she won't be letting go any time soon
>Twilight clears her throat
>"Now then..."
>She flies to the corner of the room and turns her potted plant around
>When she flies back, you swear it turned itself back around
>Probably just your mind reorienting itself
>"I didn't want to worry Trixie too much, but since she's asleep then I can talk freely; those cabinets didn't fall on you."
What?
>Your mind is still a bit foggy from being unconscious
>"Well they did fall on you," Spike adds, "but only because you got knocked back into them pretty hard by something."
>"What do you remember, Starlight? Was anything down there with you?"
>You struggle to bring the memory back
It smelled like smoke, but I thought that was Trixie working on her act.
>"Great and powerffff", the sleeping form beside you mumbles
>The corner of your mouth turns up in a slight smile
Aside from that, I do-wait.
>The book
>Your smile falls back down
I saw the intruder take a book off one of the tables, but I couldn't see who it was.
Or what book it was. It was so dusty....
>Twilight takes the information in, pondering
>Her brow furrows, casting shadows over her eyes
>"None of this is sounding good. Spike."
>She produces a scroll with magic and plops it into the dragons arms
>"This is a list of all the books in that lab. If any are missing, I want you to tell me as soon as I get back."
>"Back?" Spike asks
>"I need to go have a meeting with somepony."
>The air smells of ozone as her aura surrounds her, and then she is gone with a -crack-.
>"More like Element of Gopher...", Spike grumbles as he sets his Element down on the coffee table
>"Call me if you need anything, Star."
I will, Spike. Thank you.
>As he goes, his Element flashes blue for a brief moment
>But neither of you seem to notice it
14