Originally Published July 6th, 2018

>Be Anon
>Sweat drips from your brow, forming a small puddle on the floor where you stand
>A dull heat radiates from your aching muscles
"Ughhh...", you moan
>AJ looks over at you quizzically as she hands you a mug of water
>"You okay there, Anon?"
>You smile and nod, taking the water
I'm good, AJ. I'm just...enjoying the soreness. Reminds me that I'm still useful.
>Your arms protest at the weight as you raise the cup to your lips, the cool water constricting your throat as it races down to your gut
"DAMN THAT'S GOOD!", you cough out
>AJ laughs and sets her hat aside
>"Ah wouldn't put it like that, but Ah'm glad you think hard work is its own reward, Anon."
>She pauses for a moment
>"That is what you meant, right? That weren't one of your weird human sayings like 'putting the cart before the horse', was it?"
>You take another long swallow of water
Yeah, that's what I meant AJ. No weird double meanings.
>She flicks the brim of her hat and lets out a sigh
>"Whew! For a second there I was worried didn't have your cows in a row."
>You chuckle
Don't you mean "ducks"?
>The farmhorse looks at you, puzzled.
>"Anon, we're on a farm, not a lake"
I know, it's just that the say-
>"Plus, do you see any breadcrumbs on me?"
No, bu-
>"And even if Ah did they'd leave the lawn covered in sh-"
OKAY!
>You throw your arms up in protest
>AJ holds her ground
>"...They're ducks Anon."
Well, you're a pony.
>"Damn straight."
1/

>You and AJ stare each other dead in the eyes, and after a few moments, burst into laughter
>The onion field fills with the sounds of your mirth, echoing off the distant apple trees
>A high pitched mocking laugh seems to join the reply back from the orchard
>You stop laughing and your eyes go wide, which only makes Applejack laugh harder
>It almost sounds like her...
>"C'mon now, Anon, don't tell me you're afraid of some timberwolf!"
I-I'm not! I just remembered that I haaaa...
>Your voice dies off as you try to gather up an excuse
>"Haaaave to go home and change yer britches?", OrangeTruth teases
>Bingo
Well yes, but I also have a meeting with Twilight to get to. You know how she doesn't like putting things off more than a day.
>The farmer readjusts her hat and nods
>"Ain't that the truth. Well, Ah'm not gonna keep you from yer party."
>Party?
What party?
>You stare at Applejack, and her eyes dart around nervously
>"Ah have no idea what yer talkin' about, Anon. No sir!"
>She sucks her lips inwards and begins sweating profusely
>You decide not to press the issue further and begin moonwalking backwards towards town
>It is exactly as awkward looking as it sounds, and it kicks up massive clouds of dust into Applejack's eyes
>"MY EYES!"
2/

>You spent a few minutes holding the hose for AJ so she could wash the dirt from her eyes
>And after that was done, you made your way to Twilight's Library
>...Castle. Got to commit that to memory
>You knock loudly on the door, but no one responds
HELLO!?
>Again, no response comes
Guess I'll just let myself in.
>You pull the door open and step inside
GAH!
>And immediately trip over a small blue unicorn
Trixie! What the he-GUGH!
>An equally small and blue hoof finds its way into your mouth
>"Didn't your parents teach you to be patient?" She barks at you in a whisper
>You force her hoof out of your mouth, taking a deep breath and gagging as the air drags over your tastebuds
Didn't youHURGHrparents teach you to wash your hooves?
>Trixie smells her hoof and glares at you while you drag the inside of your shirt across your tongue
You taste like Band-Aids and gunpowder. Eugh.
>"Trixie has been busy caring for her patient!"
>The magician points towards a large ball of bandages resting on the couch
>As if on cue, the bandages begin to wiggle furiously
>"Trixie? I can't move and I have to use the bathroom!"
Is that Starlight?
>The ball wobbles again, and the smallest bit of purple hoof pokes out and flaps at you
>"Hi Anon. Can you get me out of here?"
3/

>Before you can liberate the second purple unicorn you know, Trixie has pounced on her with a roll of bandages
>"No walking! You need to rest!"
>The roll races around Glimmer's cocoon with blinding speed, and the little bit of hoof that you could see vanishes in an instant
>"Trixie, I'm fine! Just let me go to the bathroom!"
>"No need! The Caring and Sagacious Trixie has a bedpan already set up!"
Should I go? I can always come back later if you two are busy playing Misery.
>You try to do your patented reverse moonwalk backwards out of the door, but find yourself unable to move
>"Nonsense, Anonymous!" Trixie proclaims as she zaps you to the stairs with her magic
>A massive hunger pang grips your stomach as your atoms reform near the banister
>"Twilight said to send you upstairs as soon as you arrived!"
>A wet PLAP fills the air as your half-digested breakfast hits the floor
>”Anon! You’ve made a mess of Trixie’s Hospice, and I demand you clean it immediately!”
>You shake your head
You're the one who made me toss my cookies.
>”And what do you mean by ‘Hospice’?”, rises a concerned voice from the couch
>”Starlight please, you could be taken by The Bony Pony at any minute. Now get some rest and I’ll ge-HEY!”
>You stopped paying attention and resumed heading upstairs around the time Starlight said “what”
>And, just as you were about to reach the top step, a certain blue unicorn popped back into view
4/

>You try to step around her, but Trixie sidesteps to get in front of you
Really?
>“Absolutely. Vomit is disgusting and brings flies.”
Didn’t you say Twilight wanted to see me as soon as possible?
>"Clean it", she glowers at you
>You start to move past her again, but she pokes your stomach with her horn
>She knows you have no way past her
Fine. Just let me tie my shoe. I don’t want to trip on my laces.
>As you bend down you tuck your head behind your leg, away from Trixie’s line of sight, and clear your throat
“Trixie? I got out of my bandages to get some juice, but in my weakened state I dropped my glass and fell on the shards.”
>”STARLIGHT!”, Trixie screams as she pushes past you and bolts into the kitchen, paying no mind to her mummified marefriend still resting on the couch
And Dad said those voice classes wouldn’t pay off.
>You summit the stairs, repressing that those classes have only really been useful to you a handful of times
5/

>The crystal halls of Twilight’s castle are empty as you make your way towards her library
>Granted, you didn’t have a clue of where she actually was at since Trixie neglected to inform you of her location
>But you feel that even as a Princess, the most likely place for her to be at would be a place filled with books
>Or hayburgers
God, how she can put away those hayburgers...
>Your footsteps echo inside the hallway as you approach the Library, and you begin to wonder why Twilight was so insistent on this meeting
>Maybe the Cutie Map finally summoned you
>Or another human finally found their way to Equestria
Ooh, I hope she's ho-GGH!
>For the second time today, a hoof finds itself lodged in your mouth
>You try to claw it out before you can taste the dirt on it, but a force holds your arms still
>Shadows cloud your vision and blind, mute, and immobile, you feel your feet lift off the floor
>A few moments of motion sickness, colliding into walls, and many hushed "Sorry!"'s later, you feel the ground beneath your feet again, and the hoof pops out of your mouth
So, is jamming hooves in mouths a cultural thing or something, Twi? Because I'm not for it.
>"I'm-AHEM", she clears her throat and begins speaking in a deeper voice "I'm not sure what you mean, strange monkey I've never met before. Who is this Twilight?"
>Your vision still blacked out, you turn to where her voice is coming from
You are. You're the only pony I can think of whose hooves would reek that badly of ink and parchment.
>"...drat."
>Color slowy begins its return to your eyesight, and the fuzzy shape of Twilight stands sheepishly in front of you
>"Sooo, is that your new hobby? Smelling hooves?"
Only if I'm being paid enough. Now, is there a reason you had to drag me into your lib-
6/

>Swords
>Walls scaled with swords and lined by suits of armor fill your eyes as your vision returns to you
>A long, oval table made from smoldering pieces of oak spans the length of the room, small tongues of flame darting up from it at odd intervals
>It fills you with a sense of dread
This isn't the library.
>"That it isn't."
>Twilight takes a deep breath and stares you in the eyes
>"It's The War Room."
By which you mean the room Spike plays O&O in, right?
>A nervous chuckle slips from your throat and promptly dies in the air as Twilight responds with a flat
>"No."
>She rests a wing on the table, and flame licks around it
>"This is the room from which I plan military defenses in the event of Ponyville being invaded by a hostile adversary."
>The flames on the table begin crawling over the top of her wing. 
Uh, Twi? Your wing is-
>”On fire? I assure you it doesn’t burn, but it does give off a very intense heat.”
>The flames warp and dance across her feathers as she traces her limb on the tabletop
>”I sometimes wonder why the Tree made this room a part of the castle. Why it chose to repurpose Golden Oaks as a table in this room, and not in the library.”
>Twilight stares into the flames, a wistful look on her face
Maybe because the tree knew how much you loved the library and tried to incorporate that while recognizing your responsibilities as a leader?
>Twilight continues gazing into the flames
>The faintest hint of a smile colors her face as the fire makes its way closer to her body
>”Maybe. Or maybe Celestia had it put here, to remind me of who put me here in the first place. To remind me of my place."
7/

>"Although I suppose that's neither here nor there, is it."
>She finally removes her wing from the table and a tail of flame strings between her body and the table
>With slow, measured steps, she closes in on you
>"I asked you to come here today for something very important, Anon."
Was it to make me crap my pants? Is Ponyville somehow that short on manure?Because if that’s the reason, then you’ve failed.
>”No, that’s not the-“
Mostly.
“Mostly?”
>You lift your ass off of the chair
Okay maybe you partially failed.
>”Partially? Anon, failure isn’t a partial measure. It’s either a yes or nOKAY YUP I GET WHAT YOU MEAN.”
>Twilight reaches her wings around to cover her nose
>”Eugh.”
You have no one to blame here but yourself.
>A purple glow surrounds her horn, and with a familiar popple and crack, a pair of your jeans and underwear falls into your lap
>One change of pantaloons later
>”Can I look now?”
Yes. Thanks again for the change of clothes.
>”It’s not like I was going to let you sit in your own filth. Now-“
>Twilight reaches underneath the table and drags a small chest into view
>It’s very nondescript looking, but you can feel a great power radiating out from the inside
>”This,” she says as she opens the lid, keeping the box faced away from you, ”is the reason I asked you to visit me today. THINK FAST!”
>Hooking her hooves around the box, she whips it around fast enough the send the contents flying towards you
>The item that was inside the box attempts to bury itself in your face, stopping mere inches from your eyes
>Where it explodes in a blinding green light
8/

>Wake up
>The sunlight is coming in through the open window
>A beam of sunlight falls over your eyes, and you wince and roll away in response
>The floor is cold beneath your hooves as you get out of the bed and walk towards your mirror
>A tired face stares back at you
I am Fluttershy.
>The mirror’s mouth moves along with your own, but you don’t believe what it is saying
>So you repeat yourself
I am Fluttershy.
I am Fluttershy.
I am Fluttershy.
>Yes
>You are Fluttershy
>You live on the outskirts of Ponyville, in a cottage where you care for lost animals and your neighbors’ pets 
>Life is…
>Life is 

>After a morning shower, you wrap your mane in a towel and walk down the stairs to the kitchen
>As usual, Discord and Angel are having coffee
>So, as usual, you start to boil water for a bowl of oatmeal, and begin slicing apples for Angel’s morning bowl of fruit salad
>The knife is sharp, as a blunt knife is far more dangerous than a sharp one
>With a few practiced rocks of the knife, the apple is peeled and sliced into eighths
>The apples go into the bowl, and you begin dicing the pineapple
>Angel chitters as you remove the skin from the pineapple
>You start to reply, but Discord chitters back for you
>Angel chitters again, and Discord replies again. You place the pineapples into the bowl
>More chittering, and then a snap. The water is boiling, so you take it from the heat and add your oats
>You turn around, and see Angel is no longer there. You add some of the apples to your oatmeal, with some cinnamon
Oh my, I wonder where Angel went to?
>”Probably to the brothel for another hard day of work.”, Discord replies as he drinks his coffee
>You giggle, though you find no humor in the joke, and sit down at the table
>She knew-…You know of Angel’s career. And of his capacity for normal speech. He pretends to be a simple rabbit because he believes it makes you happiest
>Happy
>You stir the oats to help the water absorb into them fully
9/

>Discord thumbs through his newspaper, and you blow on your oats
>The quiet noises are amplified in the even quieter kitchen
>You feel a need to say something to break the quiet
>It’s normal to talk at mealtimes
>You are normal
>”Hmm. ‘Local woman divorces husband, cites gaming as main reason.’ What a world we live in, eh?”
Which game?
>Comfortable, you return focus to your oats
>”I think it was a kind of LARP. But to be so attached to game that you would neglect everything else…can you even imagine it?”
I..I don’t believe I can. I’m not much for those games.
>You bring a spoonful of oats to your mouth
>The cereal is warm and sweet
>Silence returns to the kitchen
10/

>After washing your dish, you returned to the bedroom to brush out your hair
>You run the brush downwards, starting at the bottom of your hair, undoing the knots as you go up
>It was the way her mother taught her
>You pull the brush away
>Your mother
>The way your mother taught you
>Your wing begins to ache, strained by the force with which you are holding the brush
>You breathe deeply, loosening your grip as you do so, and return to brushing your hair
>It’s Wednesday
-
AH SHIT!
>You are Anon
>Green light is flooding your vision, even with your hands clamped tightly around your eyes
>Strange patterns move through the light, and they almost resemble…ponies?
>You see the lives of scores of ponies, each one a kind soul who put the well-being of others above their own
>Or at least, that’s what you can feel from them. The patterns don’t have any real shape to them, but a part of your being knows that they are ponies, and that these ponies were kind
>”Anon!”
>A familiar voice calls out to you, and the green light leaves your eyes
>Only to be replaced by a much brighter white light
FUCK!
>"Are you okay? Do you feel queasy? How many feathers am I holding up?"
>Twilight shoves a blurry wing in your face, and you push her away in kind
"I'm fine", you gurgle as an acidic sensation crawls up the ba-
AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGH
11/

>A fountain of vomit arcs across the room
>"Ew!", Twilight screeches, barely erecting a shield in time to block the spew from splashing her
...fine. Shee? Eberyting's fine.
>Twilight peeks out from behind her shield
>"Good. I was kind of worried you might explode across the floor or something. I guess I was right, kind of."
>Twilight levitates you a box of tissues and you take one, blowing out the chunks of food that strayed up your nose
"Now", clearing your throat with a growl, "what the hell was the light show about? And did you say 'explode'? And what the hell did you throw at me, anyway?"
>Twilight lowers her shield as she rolls your questions around in her big egg head
>"Right, so," Twilight begins, "I want to start by confiding something in you."
Uh, okay? Shoot.
>Twilight steps over to your side and sits down, gingerly skipping around the puddles of vomit
>"I'm afraid of change, Anon. Morbidly, irrationally terrified of change."
>Her wings drop as if she just shrugged a heavy load from them
>"Do you remember when I became a princess?"
>You laugh
I don't think there's a person alive who can forget the time you flew around town screaming "EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST F-ow!"
>Twilight bats at your shoulder, her hooves surprisingly painful in spite of the lack of force behind her blows
>"Ass. I was going to say, the only reason I did that was because my world had fundamentally shifted. I wasn't just Twilight Sparkle: librarian and Element Bearer."
And ethically challenged magicist?
>"...yes. I was thrust into being Twilight Sparkle: Librarian, Element Bearer, and Princess of Friendship."
And ethically challenged magicist.
>Twilight raises a hoof, and you put your arms up to block her
12/

>"I didn't want to accept it at first, because it didn't fit how I saw myself," she states as she lowers her hoof.
>"It didn't fit how I had planned my life to be. And I was scared."
>Twilight directs her gaze at the floor, staring deep into a splash of puke
>"For that same reason, I shut out Spike when The Element of Laughter chose him to be its new bearer."
Because you didn't want to think about anybody else being Laughter.
>"Well that, and it's dangerous being an Element Bearer. You've seen the stuff we have to deal with, Anon."
>It's true. In between world-ending events, the girls were called on for anything ranging from diplomatic missions to directing rush hour traffic
I still think about those party carriages.
>Twilight drapes a wing around your shoulders
>"We all do. But!"
>She stands up, and a glow surrounds her horn as she starts collecting up your vomit into a floating ball
>"Since you didn't turn into a pulpy mess, I have a lot of confidence in how you'll be able to handle future crises."
>...and she lost you
"Come again?", you inquire as you shakily begin to stand, "Not trying to ignore your new sense of self-awareness, Twi, but I'm -TINK-"
>As you stand, you hear something metallic hit the floor between your legs
>And looking down, you see that it's an Element of Harmony
...lost.
/13