Originally Published March 2nd, 2018

>Monday in Equestria
>You are Vice-Principal Luna
>You enjoy helping educate young minds
>And there is a horse in your parking space
>A beautiful mare with a pristine white coat
>A pristine white that you can just barely see through what must be four layers of blue dye and given black dappling
>There's even a crescent moon of undyed fur that's on each of its flanks
>And trying desperately to get out from an upside down saddle is Anonymous
Oh god.
>You roll down your window and lean your head out
Anonymous! Why is there a horse in the faculty lot?
>Anonymous strains to look at you, causing the horse to fidget
>"Oh hey, VP! You're probably wondering about Princess Luna here."
>He pats the horse as he says this
Yes, I a-why does that horse have my name?
>"Well I was walking home last night," Anonymous grins, "and I was just struck by the beauty of this majestic creature. She reminded me so much of you!"
>He pats the horse again, and you swear you can see it wince
>"So I broke her free, cleaned her up, and brought her to you as a gift! I just cant get the saddle right though..."
>He starts fidgeting with the straps again, and a smile spreads across your face
Allow me to help you!, you exclaim before leaning onto your horn.
>BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
>The horse panics and runs out of the lot, carrying a screaming Anon with it
>"Stay, Princess Luna! HEEEEEEEEEL..."
>His screams fade out as they round the corner
>Giggling, you park your car and practically skip to your office
>No need for a reminder today, since Anon will probably be a while before he makes it back to the school

>Tuesday in Equestria
>You are Dean Cadence
>Head of Crystal Prep Academy
>And there is a young man on a horse in your parking space
>Well, less on and more under, really
>He looks pretty scraped up, so you stop your car and get out to help him
Are you alright, Mister...
>"Name's Anonymous", he tiredly declares as he tries to look at you
>When his eyes catch yours, he seems to brighten up considerably
>"But you can call me 'Smitten', sweetness", he winks at you
>You let him drop to the floor as you undo the last strap
I think I'll stick with "Anonymous", thank you.
>He groans as he rolls over to look at you
>"Yes, you're right! I'm afraid our love cannot be."
>He strikes a dramatic pose for emphasis
>Love? You barely know him!
I'm sorry?
>"Yes, for my heart is already taken by the fair Miss Luna. I mean, you're nice and all, but I'm not really into cougars."
>He pats you on the head as he jogs out of the lot, leaving the horse with you
>"Later toots! I got a woman to woo! Maybe I should try ice cream this time...."
>As he leaves, you pull out your phone and call the number on the saddle, telling the owner where to pick up his horse
>Then you push 3 on the speed-dial
Luna? It's Cadence. I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
>"I told you!"

>It's Monday in Equestria
>You are Principal Celestia
>You enjoy long walks on the beach and sunbathing during the summer months
>And in your office is a young, greenish boy
>Your sister, Vice-Principal Luna is standing behind him, a pained expression on her face
So, Mr Anonymous. Would you mind explaining why you are here this morning?
>He clears his throat, and begins picking at his fingernails
>"Well, today is my lady love's birthday, so I decided I should do something special for her."
>Ah, young love. You had so many boys after you when you went to high school, all doing foolish things to try and get your attention.
>"So, I built a papier-mache statue to show just how much I care about her, an-"
>Luna doubles over and begins laugh
>"AND THEN-HAH- IT FELL OVER ONTO YOUR CAR AND EXPLODED"
Yes, I'm sure she'll still enjoy any gift you gi-...exploded?
>Luna throws open your blinds, showing the school janitors struggling to put out a flaming green civic in the faculty lot.
>Next to it is what you believe to be a large statue of your sister as Aphrodite
>It too is on fire
>"AHAHAHAHA, I TELL YOU T-TIME AND AGAIN, NOTAHAHA"
>Luna falls to the ground laughing, not even trying to speak anymore
>Anonymous meanwhile is crossing something out in a small notebook and mumbling
>"So the Lunaphrodite is a no go...I knew I should have gone with the ice cream cake!"
>Back in the faculty lot, the civic has been put out
>You see firetrucks pull into the lot to put out the statue, smacking Anonymous's civic into your car on their way in
>Luna is gasping for air as she continues laughing
>"AH MY SIDES AAHAHA"
>You sigh and reach for the emergency whisky in your desk
>This is going to be a long day