Originally Published June 28th, 2013 >Day Child of The Elder God in Equestria. >You are Anon. >Award winning writer and international superstar. >Well…not at the moment, anyways. >Right now, you’re a drunk asshole who’s couch surfing at Fluttershy’s cottage and you would be lucky if you could write your way out of a brown-paper bag. FUCK YOU MR. NARRATOR. I AM A WOOD GRITER. >Yes. You even have a habit of yelling at voices that aren’t there. >You get off the toilet you installed in the shower without asking and shuffle down to your typewriter. >Because while you were shaving your dock, you found it. >And it wasn’t just a dingleberry this time! >Or Fluttershy. She didn’t even wake you up with a fetish guess like she usually does. >But no. Today, you found the inspiration that would change everything… YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT’L CHANGE EVERYTHING. PUT ME RIGHT BACK ON TOP A THE HEAP! >You sit down at the desk, set your dingleberry by the typewriter, set a paper into the machine, and begin pounding away at the keys… >”THE WIGGLY KITTEN by Anon.” 1/2 >8 hours, 2 vodka bottles, 300 pages later, and you have finished your masterpiece. >And it >is >glorious. YOUR DAMN RIGHT IT’S GLORIOUS. I’M ANON! >Yes you are. >And as you head to the couch to victoriously pass out for the night, you hear a knock at the door. THE FUCK WAS THAT >You grab a lantern and throw open the door, where you are greeted by a small yellow horse. HAY SLUTTERFHY. WHERE WER YOU DIS MORNING? >She’s knocked back by your vodka-breath. >”It’s ‘Fluttershy’. I’ve been telling you that every day this month. I was out doing some research.” >Her eyes black out and her voice becomes a twisted charade of itself. >”Is darkness your fetish Anon?” >Dark tendrils erupt from her body, erasing the only copy of “THE WIGGLY KITTEN.” >Oh hell no. That was your golden meal-ticket. >You turn towards her, sobered by rage. FUCK YES IT IS. >Oh. >You spend the night engulfed by a kinky inferno of Shadow-play and some Light S&M. >The sex inspires you to write the greatest video game of your career. >It was an Alan Wake kind of day. 2/2