>Day of The Quest
>Be Anon the Just, 12th Level Paladin
>With you are your trusted allies: Twileer the Alchemist and Jean de Lune, the Bard
>You stand at the entrance to the Bonecrusher's Wake, home to the creature that has been terrorizing a nearby village
>Small puffs of smoke come from the crack of the mountain which houses this cave
>You roll your shoulders and unsheath your sword
C'mon lads, it seems our enemy isn't expecting us.
>Jean De Lune swaggers into the cave the cave after you
>"I should hope he isn't, I'm still a little sore from the cave bears last week."
>Twileer, shaking and giggling with excitement, brings up the rear as you march into the unknown
1/

>The cave is dark, and you can hear occasional splashes as water drips to the rocky floor
>"Blasted darkness, let us have some light...", Twileer mutters to herself as she slathers a torch with one of her potions
>The torch glows a healthy orange after a moment, lighting up the narrow path
>She walks past Jean and hands you the torch
>"Here. Just try not to smell it if you can, rancid stuff."
Ah, thank you Twileer.
>You take the torch and your group presses forward
>You pass numerous skeletons in armor as you walk, the pathway appearing to widen slightly
>"So, what do you think it is?" Jean chimes in
Think what is?
>"The creature! I think it's a crocodile."
A crocodile? Wait a second-
>You stretch your arms out, and your partners are stopped by your arms
>"Crocs don't live in caves Jean."
Ahem
>"Maybe this one decided he hated the swamp."
AHEM.
>"Did you have a better guess, Ano-Oh."
>Standing before the three of you is a massive gold dragon, tending to a small blaze
2/

>The dragon turns around, and on seeing you it flashes a toothy smile
>"AH, VISITORS.", they grumble, not taking their eyes off the fire
>"SIT, SIT. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE RAIDS."
>With a snap of their talons, a small table appears, with a spread of buttered bread and assorted dried meats
>Moving away from the blaze, they take a teapot from the fire and pour out four cups, setting them onto the table
>Twileer glares at the meat and bread, looking for any signs of poison
>"Looks safe to me!" She declares before chowing down
>Jean takes a sip of the tea
>Anon you s-
I want to roll to seduce the dragon.
----
You what?
>A silence takes over the kitchen table
>Fluttershy stares at you, a hint of depraved joy in her eyes
>Twilight and Princess Luna stop munching on their snacks
>"I want to roll to seduce the dragon." She repeats as she begins shaking her die.
No. Out of the question.
3/

>"But why?", Fluttershy asks.
Because it's out of character. You're a paladin, you don't just barge into peoples homes and fuck them. That's Luna's job.
>"That's not fair! You're just upset because he's based on you." Luna pouts
>"Yeah Anon, it's Fluttershy's character, she should be allowed to play him as she sees fit!", Twilight adds. "That's what you told us when we first started playing!"
>You shake your head
>They weren't wrong, but as DM you must be firm
I understand, but this is-
>"It's not out of character.", Fluttershy states as she passes you a piece of paper "Look."
>You take the paper
>It's her character sheet
>Under "Flaws" it reads "Anon's Fetish: Scaled creatures"
>Fuck
>Well, that explains why she was so nice on the Kobolds a few sessions back
>But you have to stay strong.
I'm sorry, Shy, but-
>"I GIVE ANON A CHARISMA POTION." Twilight yells
>"AND WE AID ANON BY PLAYING A SULTRY TUNE." Luna adds
>In unison, Fluttershy and Luna throw down their dice
>Twilight chimes in with how the potion changes Anon's Charisma
>Both got Nat 20, plus Anon's sizable Charisma and Jean's skill with his voice...
>Yeah, this dragon is getting fucked
>The three ponies stare at you, small fires burning behind their eyes
>You are fucked
-but I need to get another rulebook to determine the results. Seducing a dragon is a bit complex.
>The trio cheer as you head to the next room
>They have you dead to rights
>But you have a dark, forbidden ace up your sleeve
4/

>You return with a small book, covered in dust
>You may have to let this happen, but you'll be damn sure they regret it
>You dust off the cover, revealing two scantily clad humans fighting some blue gnomes in a mine
>Consulting the table of contents, you flip to the relevant page
Ah here we are. Everyone hand me your sheets for a second. Twilight, I'm gonna rattle off equations at you, so be ready to solve them
>"Uhh, okay Anon." Twi replies.
>You throw the needlessly complex equations at her, and she hurls the results back at you
>You write one new stat on Fluttershy's character sheet, and two stats on Twilight and Lunas
>To Fluttershy, it simply read "AC", or "AC" and "VC" for the Princesses
>But you knew better
Okay, you say as you grab your d100, now that we're ready...
-------
>Twileer passes you a potion while the dragon places the kettle back into the flames
>You greedily drink it down, handing her back the empty
>Jean de Lune begins crooning a love song from his homeland
>As the potion takes effect, you feel profoundly more charming
>"WHAT IS THAT LOVELY TUNE?" the dragon growls
>You open your mouth, delivering the dragon a honeyed, seductive proposition
Hey bby, u wan sum dock?
5/

>Steam erupts from the dragon's nose, and you can almost swear his eyes turn to hearts
>"OH BABY" the dragon roars, his girthy, bifurcated penis erupting from its sheath
>Seeing this, you start to run
>Twileer and Jean de Lune can only look on in horror
>He pounces upon you, ripping the armor from your body
>Unceremoniously, he flips you onto your stomach and begins prodding your entrance
>With a grunt, he forces his way in, tearing your sphincter in the process
>Blood begins to pour from you as you silently scream into the dirt
>With every thrust, he widens the tear, slowly splitting you as he makes his way deeper
>Your pelvis snaps apart with a loud crack, and your guts spill onto the floor
>The dragon does not seem to pay any mind and continues rubbing against the blood on the floor
>Twileer finally snaps from her daze
>"DIE YOU MONSTER, she yells as she hurls a potion towards the dragon
>It clatters harmlessly off his scales and breaks on the ground below, causing a green flame to engulf your mangled corpse
>"RAGGH", the dragon roars, leaving your body and turning his attention towards Twileer
>He grabs her robe in his teeth, flinging her with enough force to send her flying into the cave wall
>"GAH!" She cries out as she makes contact
>As the dragon advances, she tries to stand
>She gets her trunk off the ground, and strains to move her lower half
>Her eyes go wide when she realizes she cannot move her legs
6/

>With no more care than he showed you, the dragon is quick to mount Twileer
>Thankfully, her body is able to handle the strain, and she tries to crawl away
>But the dragon stops her, planting a claw into her back and causing her to scream in pain
"JEAN! JEAN HELP ME PLEASE!", she cries out between thrusts
>Jean stands frozen by Anon's brutalized, burning body
>The sickly sweet scent of burning flesh fills her nose, Twileer's cries barely registering in her ears
>"Twileer?" she mumbles, looking towards the dragon
>Twileer looks unconscious, but the dragon is still viciously thrusting in
>The sight snaps Jean out of her daze, and she runs to confront the beast
>"HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE!" Jean yells up at the dragon
>He looks down upon Jean, stopping his thrusting for a moment
>He pulls Twileer off of his member and tosses her aside
>In an instant, he has the mortified bard on the ground, and begins to rub his organ fervently against Jean, hungering for a gap in the armor
>With his tips barely inside, he climaxes, covering you in wave after wave of ejaculate.
----
>Fluttershy looks mortified
>Twilight looks like she is about to puke
>Luna is silent, staring behind you at the fridge
>Excellent
>"T-TH-TH-THAT'S NOT FAIR" Fluttershy breaks the silence as she leaps onto the table
>Her fur is on end, and her feathers puffed out to max
What isn't fair?
>Angrily, yet gingerly to avoid making a mess, she stomps her away to you
>"THAT WAS A FEMALE DRAGON! YOU CHANGED IT ON PURPOSE TO DO THIS!"
>You cross your arms and lean past her to look at Twilight
Hey Twi? Did I ever say it was a female dragon?
>"...no."
Exactly. Now sit down and shut up.
>Deflated, Shy slides down and takes her seat 
7/

>Freed from the shackle of his libido the dragon stares around his cave
>"WHAT HAP-"
>Anon's corpse, charred and black, has finally stopped burning
>Twileer's naked and broken form  is draped across a rock
>And below him is Jean de Lune, a mile-long stare peering from beneath the jism
>"I-I'M GONNA BE SICK" the dragon cries
>Gingerly, with the care he had when you first entered his cave, he picks Jean from the floor by her foot
>"TO ASSAULT A G-G-GUEST IN MY HOME! THE SHAME I'VE BROUGHT ON MYSELF! THE TERROR I FORCED YOU TO ENDURE!"
>He snaps his claws, and the skeleton of an owlbear saunters into the chamber from the entry tunnel
>"PLEASE SEE TO IT THAT MY GUESTS ARE CLEANED UP. MY GODS, PLEASE FORGIVE ME", he cries as he heads down into another tunnel
>With a grunt, the Owlbear picks Twileer up in its maw and nudges Jean along it makes its way to the bath
----------
The dragon was a bit of an amateur necromancer, and more than willing to apologize and pay the damages resulting from his experiments.
>Fluttershy is glaring at you again, from her seat this time
>The color has returned to Twilight's face, but she doesn't seem to be too upset anymore
>Luna is still staring into the distance
>Best wrap this up then
All right, loot! You all get new clothes, for one. Fluttershy, you also get a delightful little oakwood coffin, with a gorgeous golden inlay. You'll need to roll a new character. 
Twilight, your character gets an enchanted set of armor that will let her walk again as long as she wears it, and you go up a level. 
Luna, the dragon offers you anything you'd like from his horde.
>Luna is still staring into the void
...Luna? What would you like from the dragon?
>A faint blush creeps up on her face
>"... I'd like his hand.", she mutters, twiddling with her hooves.
>The three of you shoot her a strange look
>"What? He held my hoof..."
>Her blush deepens, and she hides her face in her wings
Oookay. Good game, see ya next week.
>Fucking Luna
8/8